Why Are You Still Single? - David Shands & Kaysaidit

Summary

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Social Proof Podcast: "Why Are You Still Single?"

Host: David Shands
Guest: Kaysaidit
Release Date: July 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of the Social Proof Podcast takes a detour from classic entrepreneurial strategy to unpack the real, raw realities of dating as a successful, ambitious, single woman. Host David Shands sits down with serial entrepreneur Kaysaidit to explore the why behind her relationship status, the lessons learned from love and heartbreak, and the unique challenges that come with building love while building business. The discussion is candid, humorous, at times confrontational, and deeply self-reflective — offering invaluable insight for any entrepreneur navigating love and life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening & Relationship Backstory

[01:59 - 05:11]

• David opens the conversation with a signature "exit interview": He asks Kaysaidit, “Why did you exit your last relationship?”

  • “It was long distance and we just were in different places.” — Kaysaidit [02:25]
  • Both were entrepreneurs with demanding schedules — she in Atlanta, him in Connecticut as a restaurant partner.
  • Their biggest issue was "time not being aligned" [02:51].

• First meeting details:

  • Met at his restaurant in Atlanta.
  • He quickly expressed big intentions (“I’mma marry you”), which she brushed off as typical male banter [04:53].
  • Kaysaidit resists vague language around dating ("kicking it"), insisting on clarity and directness in conversation, stemming from her upbringing [06:23].

2. Patterns and Preferences in Dating

[08:04 – 16:38]

• What Kaysaidit Looks For:

  • "A nice, wholesome man who believes in Jesus" [08:06].
  • Emphasis on manners, emotional strength, and creativity over superficial traits.
  • She admits past focus on looks ("teeth are very important" [10:13]), but now prioritizes character and emotional maturity. “Before I used to look for stuff that wasn’t important.” — Kaysaidit [09:42]

• Dealing with Turn-offs and Flaws:

  • She acknowledges her tendency to get turned off by small things, making it difficult to stick around — “I can find the smallest things about a person, and then I don’t want to be around them.” [11:49]
  • Cites an example of dating someone with “rotten teeth” without realizing, ending the match after their first date [10:25 – 11:28].

• Her Dating ‘List’ Evolves with Age:

  • In her 20s, she had a long list of material requirements. Now, at 30, the list is shorter and more about values.
  • “When I say my list gets shorter, I mean about the material things that don’t matter.” — Kaysaidit [13:44]
  • David challenges: Is a shorter list ‘settling’? She explains the difference between dropping superficial standards and compromising core values.

3. Deep Dive: Past Relationships & Lessons

[15:44 – 34:46]

The Engagement

[15:44 – 34:46]

• Five-Year Relationship Details:

  • Met on the set of an indie film.
  • Early dating involved adversity: The movie flopped and both experienced unstable living conditions.
  • She supported him through hardships, but ultimately discovered a pattern:
    • He avoided using his truck-driving license for higher-paying jobs, choosing lower-income routes and avoiding financial responsibility [18:03 – 24:21].
  • “He told me … you can just sell everything in the apartment … Sell my Xbox for his half of the rent.” — Kaysaidit [24:13]
  • Recurring friction about ambition, money, maturity, and carrying unequal weight in the relationship.

• Pregnancy and Survival Mode:

  • Experienced a heartbreaking miscarriage, followed by another pregnancy and an unconventional stint living with him in a trucking cabin while she planned her business [27:31 – 34:01].
  • “It went from love to survival ... I couldn't take care of myself … now we just need each other to survive.” — Kaysaidit [31:49]
  • Built entrepreneurial resilience even in difficult times, opening a salon suite and leveraging passive income while still on the truck.

• End of the Engagement:

  • Ultimately left the relationship due to stagnant personal growth on his part and a lack of vision.
  • “He proposed to me, and when he proposed ... I wasn’t even there mentally then.” — Kaysaidit [34:01]

Reflections on Dating Since

[34:50 – 44:00]

• Remaining single recently, she’s dated but not easily accessible: “Everybody can’t go around like, ‘Oh yeah, he was with K. I was with K2.’” [35:01]
• Communication issues and emotional aggression are dealbreakers. She describes sometimes acting as an emotional “punching bag” for partners — but never tolerating physical abuse [36:33 – 37:43].
• Shares a story of betrayal and lack of protection when her child’s father didn’t defend her in a conflict with his brother, further leading her to check out emotionally from relationships [38:39 – 39:47].

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4. Self-Reflection, Toxic Traits, & Growth

[39:54 – 44:21]

• Freely admits her own "toxic trait": aggression in communication, especially when she’s lost respect for a partner (e.g., getting snappy about chores like taking the trash out) [39:54].
  • “Once I started talking like that, I probably already lost respect for them.” — Kaysaidit [40:43]
• David suggests she could end up single at 40 if she doesn't check it; she pushes back but acknowledges the need for growth.

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5. Notable & Memorable Dating Stories

[43:10 – 48:59]

• Three Kids Surprise:

  • After breaking up with her child's father, Kaysaidit dates a man who nonchalantly reveals both his baby mothers are currently pregnant — one with twins.
    • “He was like, I got kids on the way. Just like that. By who? ... Both of them.” — Kaysaidit [46:22]
  • Her humorous coping: she starts singing “Confessions” by Usher.

• Sabotaging Good Relationships:

  • She admits, post-messy relationships, she sometimes sabotages subsequent connections due to lack of emotional readiness and trust:
    • “I wanted to be there. There were some really good guys, too. I wanted to be there. I just wasn’t there. Yeah, sabotaged those relationships.” [48:31]

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6. Are You Healed or Still Hurting?

[48:59 – 55:44]

• David challenges: “I don’t know if you’re entirely ready to have a good man right now.”

  • She insists she’s healed, but her story about ending things because a guy forgot her birthday exposes how pain lingers in decision-making.
  • David shares his own experiences of missing important dates but being a devoted partner nonetheless, critiquing her decision as nitpicking or defending unhealed wounds.

• The Birthday Incident (Deep Dive):

  • The context: Her boyfriend forgets her birthday, doesn't show up to a party, and is dismissive in follow-up.
  • David theorizes embarrassment and outside influences (friends' opinions) may have played a role.
  • Kaysaidit strongly contests this, asserting her friends are long-term, healthy-relationship women and she made her decisions independently. “Am I really that important to you?” summarizes her core question [62:03].

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7. What Does She Really Want?

[72:31 – 80:18]

• Ideal Partner Requirements:

  • Owns a business or works a 9-5 with entrepreneurial spirit.
  • Polite approach in DMs ("Hey, how are you?” — but must be matched with mutual attraction).
  • Must be attractive — teeth and smile are non-negotiables after past surprises.
  • Balanced financial standards: He must have money, be willing to give gifts, but she also gives and believes in shared responsibilities [78:17 – 79:13].

• Faith is Mandatory:

  • “Got to believe in Jesus. I told you, you got to be wholesome and believe in Jesus.” — Kaysaidit [79:27]

• No Specific Age Preference:

  • Has dated older, same-age, and younger men—each comes with unique challenges regarding maturity [77:34].

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8. Self-Value & Closing Reflections

[80:14 – 83:56]

• Qualities Kaysaidit Brings:

  • Loving, attentive, supportive, anticipates needs, cooks, helps her partner achieve dreams [81:18].
  • “I pay attention. I cater to the needs of that person. …They appreciate me for who I am.” — Kaysaidit [81:18]

• David praises her authenticity:

  • “I think you’re going to be a great catch. ... Any guy that you meet is going to be blessed to have you.” — David [83:12]

• Warns her to be careful not to let previous hurts sabotage future good relationships.

• Playful banter on how to approach her:

  • If you want to DM her, use the code word “80 20” and make sure you’re smiling in your last picture [86:59].

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Notable Quotes

• “I can find the smallest things about a person, and then I don’t want to be around them.” — Kaysaidit [11:49]
• “Once I started talking like that, I probably already lost respect for them.” — Kaysaidit [40:43]
• “I think you are genuinely a loving person and a good woman… But you have to be careful because you’ve been through so many negative relationships. You could quickly ruin a really good person.” — David [83:12]
• “It went from love to survival because at that point, I couldn't take care of myself. …Now we just need each other to survive.” — Kaysaidit [31:49]
• “Got to believe in Jesus. ... As I said, wholesome and believe in Jesus.” — Kaysaidit [79:27]
• “If you see this interview, go to her DM and just put '80 20.' She’ll know exactly what that means.” — David [86:59]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:15] — Why she left her last relationship (long distance, time issues)
• [04:53] — First date story; “I’m gonna marry you” moment
• [08:06] — “I want a wholesome man who believes in Jesus”
• [10:25] — The “bad teeth” dating disaster
• [13:44] — How her list of requirements has evolved
• [15:44] — Details on her five-year engagement
• [27:31] — Surviving and building a business while pregnant and living on a truck
• [36:33] — She’s been an emotional “punching bag,” but never tolerates physical abuse
• [40:54] — Her own toxic trait: aggression
• [46:22] — “Three kids on the way” story
• [51:44] — Self-sabotaging good relationships
• [62:03] — Evaluating her relationships beyond the surface: “Am I really that important to you?”
• [81:18] — What she brings to a relationship
• [83:12] — David’s affirmation: “You’re going to be a great catch.”
• [86:59] — "80 20" code word for DMs

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Memorable Moments

• Kaysaidit singing “Confessions” by Usher upon learning her boyfriend impregnated two women at once [46:47].
• Raw honesty about how aggressive communication emerges when she’s lost respect [40:43].
• The playful yet real exchange about spotting red flags — from missing birthdays to receding hairlines and “teeth-fishing.”

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Conclusion

This episode offers more than entertaining anecdotes—it's a masterclass in self-reflection, personal boundaries, dating with intention, and the continually evolving nature of love for ambitious women. Through laughter, tough questions, and moments of real vulnerability, both host and guest reveal the challenges and rewards of seeking partnership while building a life and a legacy.

Connect with Kaysaidit:
IG: @kaysaidit (DM with “80 20” if you’re bold—and have good teeth.)

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Transcript

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[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

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[David (Interviewer)]

Welcome to the exit interview featuring myself and Donnie Wiggins. She interviews entrepreneurs. I interview entrepreneurs. The common thread is they are all single because we're trying to figure out how we can get some single entrepreneurs married off. Welcome to the show.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Thank you. Good to be here.

[David (Interviewer)]

Oh, I'm so happy you're here. I'm gonna start with this one question that we all start with. Okay. Why did you exit your last relationship?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

It was long distance and we just were in different places. So.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, okay. Why else did you exit?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's it. Like, we were just in different places mentally, like.

[David (Interviewer)]

Oh, so not different places physically.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, physically too. And mentally, he's in Connecticut. I was here.

[David (Interviewer)]

Got you. What y' all argue about?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Time.

[David (Interviewer)]

What do you mean?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Like, I didn't always have time. He didn't always have time, so our time wasn't aligned.

[David (Interviewer)]

Was he entrepreneur, too?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Oh, what did he do?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He owned. Well, he was a partner with restaurants.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, and what do you do?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I am a serial entrepreneur. I have salons and. And I do billboard marketing.

[David (Interviewer)]

Wow. Both y' all get into the money.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah. That must be difficult.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, it was.

[David (Interviewer)]

It was short lived entrepreneurs. How long were y' all together?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Like, three or four months.

[David (Interviewer)]

Mm. Why did y' all get together?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Cause, I mean, it seemed really easy. Cause he was here for quite a bit of time, and then he kind of sort of. He had to go back.

[David (Interviewer)]

Hold on. He was in Atlanta?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, he was in Atlanta for a period of time. And where does he live in Connecticut.

[David (Interviewer)]

Connecticut. So he's in Connecticut, you're in Atlanta. He was here in Atlanta on business or in the beginning of the relationship. He was coming back more frequently.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Business. Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

And then the business took him away from Atlanta.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

His life then. His life is in Connecticut. So he came here for business, and then he went back home and he just came back and, you know, he

[David (Interviewer)]

just made me met him in Atlanta. How'd y' all meet?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

We met at one of the restaurants.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. One of the restaurants he's a partner in. Okay. I met at the restaurant. Y' all kicked it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

That same day.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That same day. What does it mean? What's the question? Clear that question up.

[David (Interviewer)]

Did y' all kick it the same day that y'. All.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

What does kick it mean?

[David (Interviewer)]

You can meet somebody in the mall and it's like, all right, well, I met you, and then y' all can kick it that same day.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But what is kick it? Cause kick it means a lot of things. So what are you asking me? Be direct with that.

[David (Interviewer)]

You know what's crazy?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

What is kick it?

[David (Interviewer)]

I wasn't thinking about what you were thinking about when I said it, but now I'm thinking about it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I just want to be open to what you're asking so I know how to answer this question 100%.

[David (Interviewer)]

And now we're going to get there. Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Okay. All right.

[David (Interviewer)]

So. Okay, tell me the story of the first day y' all met.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

We met. He was like, you know, I'm gonna marry you, and I Was like, that's funny. Yeah. I was like, that's funny. He was like, you don't think so? And I was like, I've heard it all before. And so, I mean, we exchanged numbers. I ate, I left, and we just was on the phone talking. Then we went out on a date.

[David (Interviewer)]

That same day?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, not the same day. Oh. Nah. I had to get some time. I had to get to know who I was talking to.

[David (Interviewer)]

How many days after?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Probably like three.

[David (Interviewer)]

Three days?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, probably three days because he was

[David (Interviewer)]

still just in Atlanta.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. And I was working, so I just. Sometimes I just don't have time.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah. Three days later, y' all went on a date.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Where'd y' all go?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

We went to. Where did we go? We went to get my nails done, and then we.

[David (Interviewer)]

Together.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

How did that come up? Did you say, I was gonna go get my nails done, or did he say, let me take you to get your nails done?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He asked me what my schedule was like for the week, and then I told him what day I was going to get my nails done, and he was like, let's. Let's go together. And so we went out to eat. Went to go get my nails done. Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

What else?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's it. I went home.

[David (Interviewer)]

Just out to eat nails done.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. And I went home.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's kind of fire of him to say that, though. That's a good move.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

It's typical.

[David (Interviewer)]

Is it?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

First date, you get your nails done.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I mean, first date. I mean, that's not really a big, like, ooh, wow. He went and took me to get my nails done.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's fire. Consider it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

It's just normal.

[David (Interviewer)]

What'd you expect after that?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nothing. To go home. I went home.

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm not talking about the same night, bro. I'm not asking.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm just walking through the process. That's it.

[David (Interviewer)]

I know, but you seem real defensive. I'm not asking you that.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I think you're aggressive.

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm not trying to find out how fast you slept with him. That's not what I'm trying to say.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Because, I mean, your verbiage, kind of. I just want to make sure I'm clear on answering your question.

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm saying y' all just kick it. Y' all could be in the club. Y' all could be kicking it, hanging out.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Hanging out. I say hanging out and kicking it. My dad used to tell me, kicking it. I told my dad a long time ago. I was like, dad, can this guy come over? We just going to kick it at the house. He was like, kick it. And it was a big thing. So the word kick it, I just don't even use that word.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. I see where.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. Ain't no kickers there. No kickers ever since then. I don't even want to hear those.

[David (Interviewer)]

I see where your trauma comes from. Yeah.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, kick it.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. All right. Yeah. Three days later, he's still here. And y' all meet. Y' all meet again after that?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, so we met, like, several days after that. So we met again at the restaurant, then we went on another date. And then. Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, now, when was the first sleepover?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

When was sleepover? I didn't let him sleep. We didn't sleep over. When the last time anything intimate happened?

[David (Interviewer)]

The first time?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

When the first time? Maybe, I wanna say three weeks.

[David (Interviewer)]

Three weeks?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Mm.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. A few dates in.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, dates in. I had a lot of stuff going on in between. He did too, so.

[David (Interviewer)]

And when his job was. His work was over in Atlanta, did he just keep going back and forth?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, I mean, he kept going back and forth. That relationship didn't last that long. We talking about the relationship before that. That was years. This relationship that didn't last that long. It was only three to four months.

[David (Interviewer)]

All right, well, what are you looking for right now?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

What am I looking for? A nice, wholesome man who believes in Jesus.

[David (Interviewer)]

For real.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

A nice, wholesome man who believes in Jesus. I am. That's what it is.

[David (Interviewer)]

There's got to be more.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

What? What more? Are you, like, asking for looks?

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm asking for what your. What's on your list of things that you want.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You know what's so crazy about that?

[David (Interviewer)]

If somebody could believe in Jesus and be a horrible person.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

And what is wholesome?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Wholesome. He knows how. He has manners. Somebody I can bring home to my dad.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You know, sweet, charming.

[David (Interviewer)]

What's the opposite of wholesome?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

A wholesome. Wholesome and wholesome.

[David (Interviewer)]

Like, somebody could be sleeping with people when he meet them, like, three weeks later. Yo, first off, you started your aggression.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, your aggression. He was aggressive from the jump. Before we even got on the bikes, I was being drilled. So this was the questions. This is why I be scared to answer the questions. Because the way you flip the questions, it's like I slept at him the first night.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, so.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Because that's what you was looking for when you asked me to kick it.

[David (Interviewer)]

I promise you, I wasn't thinking about that until you said it. Then my mind went there. But, like, let's just describe wholesome. Because somebody's watching this, I need to know what wholesome means. Okay, let's. Let's try to get a more accurate description. Okay. Manners, of course.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

So you can bring home to your dad. But there's got to be more to it than that.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Gotta be creative. Knows how to use his mind. Emotionally strong, available, mature. Yeah, those are really the important things I should say. Because before I used to look for stuff that wasn't important. Like he had to wear these type of shoes, he had to dress like this. He had to wear a certain type of jewelry. You know, his haircut had to be a certain way. Those were things before that, his teeth had to be a certain way. So, like, now I'm not as.

[David (Interviewer)]

You don't mind the teeth thing now.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Oh, no, I do. See, that's what I'm saying. I do mind the teeth thing now. But what I'm saying is those are less important. Those. No,

[David (Interviewer)]

you find the wrong teeth situation.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

The teeth are important. The teeth are very important. I actually dated a guy who had really terrible teeth. He had all the jewelry, he charming dates everything. And he had rotten teeth. And I didn't know that.

[David (Interviewer)]

How you not knowing?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Well, when we met, we met at one of the salons I used to work at, and we met in passing. So he was cutting hair. He just gave me like a little head nod. And I guess he asked the owners later what was my Instagram, and he, you know, DM me or whatever the case might be. I remember who he was. We went on a date the very next day, and he caught a black truck to my house. We got in the car. I was so nervous. I thought he was so fine. So I went back upstairs to go get some lotion. You know, I had to go back upstairs to get some lotion, and I gave myself a pep talk, like, don't mess this up. Got back in the car, and he smiled at me. And he had right teeth. So it was just. It was a catastrophe.

[David (Interviewer)]

Was that. That was the first and last date?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, that was the first and last date. That was the very first and last date.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, that was it.

[David (Interviewer)]

So do me a favor. I want to back up a little bit. It's going to be on a serious note.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Okay.

[David (Interviewer)]

You said he went to pick you up, you went upstairs for some lotion and you gave yourself a pep talk.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

About don't mess this up.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Which means that has to be coming from somewhere.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Where's that coming from?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Because I can find the smallest things about a person, and then I don't want to be around them, don't want to be with them. You know, that it's not so noticeable, like, teeth. So I'd be like, yeah, I don't like the way he eat. Oh, my God. Or did you hear the way he was breathing? Like, I started talking to myself, and I started talking to myself. I get real turned off, and then I get like, my social battery is dead with you. And then that's it. I'm gone.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, but if you don't like it, I mean, it's hard to stick around just because you're giving yourself a pep talk. Hey. Because that will bother you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Because you have to excuse. Nobody's perfect.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So you have to excuse certain things for the bigger picture, you know, you're not gonna like everything about your partner. You know? So, like, there was this guy, he snored so bad. And when I say it was like a motor in the middle of the night, and that was it. Like, you know what I'm saying? So lately, that's why I said I don't have as many. Like, okay, you got to be like this. You got to be like this. You got to be like this. Because certain things like that, like, okay, he was a great guy. He just snort loud. He might have sleep apnea. We don't know, you know? So that's what I meant by when I say, don't mess this up. Because then after that, my attitude just gets real bad. Not bad, but it's just not welcoming.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's good that you know that, though.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

About yourself. So you're 30 years old now, right?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm 30.

[David (Interviewer)]

So your list was probably super long in your 20s.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

And then now you're 30. We shorten that list a little bit. And if you are still single in

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

your 40s, I won't be.

[David (Interviewer)]

You think that. Well, we don't know. We don't know that.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

What, that's not a good look?

[David (Interviewer)]

No, I'm not saying one. It doesn't make you a bad person or it doesn't mean you have a bad life. I'm just saying in your 40s, you think your list would get, like, shorter. And here's my. Here's my question. Do you think if the list gets shorter of the things that you desire in a man, you. You start settling?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's a deep question. So when I say my list gets shorter, I mean about the material things that don't matter. Now, when I say somebody that's wholesome, I'm talking about all of those things that are internally, like, do you love your mom? Do you carry yourself well? Those things don't change. Now, me requiring you to wear Jordans and the most updated version of Jordans, that's. That's really immature. So that's what I mean by when I say my list has gotten shorter. Like, I'm not that girl. That's like, okay, yeah, you got to have this type of chain. You got to wear these type of clothes. You know what I'm saying? The list was long. Then I started looking at the things that actually mattered in a relationship and actually being in relationships. Like, I was engaged before. Those things really matter. So that's what I mean by my list gets shorter. It didn't get shorter. Like, in a way, like, oh, I'm just willing to settle just because. No, you still have to be attractive to me. You know, we still have to have, like, you know, a real bond. But I'm not requiring you to, you know, put it together like that.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, not for that. So, I mean, really, you might. You might could really spin the block with the dude with the tooth. Just get veneers.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, you know, crazy. He actually found somebody that was more suitable for the teeth, and they are together. We actually went and really just.

[David (Interviewer)]

They got the same teeth.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I really try not to laugh about the situation, because I laugh so hard about the situation, y'.

[David (Interviewer)]

All.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I literally got in the car and it, like, he smiled at me. He was so happy to see me, and my mouth just dropped like, that was.

[David (Interviewer)]

So you seen the one he's with now?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, I seen her. They have a child together now and everything, so.

[David (Interviewer)]

They got the same teeth, though.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't think they have the same teeth. I didn't see her smile either, so who knows? I don't know. It's called teeth fishing.

[David (Interviewer)]

I actually came into this conversation wanting to be serious. I'm having a good time, though.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I know, but it's real. It is my reality. This is like my dating is actually a reality show. I have the most horrible stories.

[David (Interviewer)]

Let's one. I want to hear one. So hold on to one. But you said you were engaged.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

How long were y' all together?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

We were together for. I want to say five years. Yeah, we were together for five years.

[David (Interviewer)]

What happened?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I started really growing. We started off as I was acting and modeling, and he was an actor in one of the movies. I needed one independent film on my IMDb credits, and so I went to this independent film, and he was one of the main actors long Story short, the film wasn't, you know, they were real independent, so it really wasn't. It really wasn't no film. So we were the only thing that came from that movie. And the movie was called Heaven's Response.

[David (Interviewer)]

We were the only thing.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, we were the only thing that came out of that movie. So once the movie producers and all of them, they end up fleeing the country, they ended up going back home. And I was new coming onto the movie, so they were all, you know, they were all really tight knit. They were good. So once I found out everything, that's when I was like, okay. So I felt really bad for him because he was staying with the producers and so with him standing with the producers, I mean, he had to leave. And so he didn't have anywhere to stay. So, no, he couldn't stay with me. I was staying with my grandmother. I was young, so he was staying at his brother's. So I was the one who had the car. So I was going over there. He had a car, but it had. It went through some difficulties, we gonna say. So he had a car. No more. So I was going over there, you know, taking him to work, making sure he was good. You know, we hung out all day. And then over time, like as time grew, I realized that he wasn't who I thought he was. He wasn't who I thought he was.

[David (Interviewer)]

Who do you think he was?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I mean, I thought he was an actor in a movie, but that was his first time ever acting. And I had a resume. I had only needed this one little credit so I can get a certain role.

[David (Interviewer)]

But the clue that he was like homeless didn't really.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, because he was a truck driver before that. Well, he, you know, not before that. You know, when you have your CDLS, you always got your CDs.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But I realized that he was the type of person where. How do I say this? He didn't want to use them. I didn't know back then. I mean, my parents, they're entrepreneurs. They're always. They're in the entertainment industry. I didn't know nothing about a CDL or none of that. So I didn't know. You actually make a lot of money in this career. There's so many different aspects of the career. So he would pick the weakest jobs. And he wasn't making no money and he was always home. He was playing a video game. It just wasn't. It wasn't a good match. Nevertheless, y' all moved in together, though. Wait, I was gonna tell you okay. So then right after, you know, he got his new job. I ended up his birthday

[David (Interviewer)]

losing timeline. So you all meet on this. That set. He was standing with producers in April. Producers leave, he's homeless, goes to live with his brother, and. But y' all are dating through this whole process?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, we're dating. Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

And then that whole time, where were y' all getting together at his.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I would go pick him up. Yeah, I would go pick him up in his brother's house. Him and his brother, they really. They had their on and off situations, like two grown men living in the house together.

[David (Interviewer)]

It just didn't go pick them up and go where?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So we would just drive around, we'd go to the mall, we would go get food. We would just find different things. Yeah. And that was.

[David (Interviewer)]

And when did y' all spend y' all alone time at his brother's house?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, the alone time. Like, we would have. Like, he would go get a hotel like every blue moon, you know, we would spend the weekend together.

[David (Interviewer)]

You know, I'm trying to understand who you thought he was, because.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So in the beginning. That's why I said in the beginning, when we first met, we were working on a movie together. So we spent, like, two months working on this movie. You get what I'm saying? When the hardships came, it hit the entire cast. It hit everybody. It didn't just hit me. It didn't just hit him. It really hit everybody. So me being an understanding person, I mean, if you go through a little hard time, a little bump in the road is nothing like, my dad's a music producer. We had the high highs and the low lows. So therefore, I know that a little bump in the road is just what it is. But he found a way to navigate, to get a job and everything else like that. So I'm not. He was working for a trucking company. Yeah, he was working for a trucking company, but it was a local one, and they were just, you know, delivering produce. So they wasn't making no money for sure. They weren't making any money at all.

[David (Interviewer)]

And then y' all moved in together a year later?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, we moved in together. When we met. We met in April. March. We met in March. We got together, like, officially in April. The movie thing ended in June. We ended up moving in together in September.

[David (Interviewer)]

So same year.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Same year. Same year. So I was young. Yeah, I was 19, 20. 19 or 20 years old. So I ended up surprising him, and I was like, I'm moving into an apartment. You want to move into and then. Yeah, so then soon after that, the bills started coming. When the bill started coming, that's when it became difficult because it's like I was kind of really structured with how my bills were this, that, and other. I was working at QuikTrip. I was working at Quik Trip, and I had a stay at home job, too. So I was. I've always been a husk. I've always juggled multiple things at a time. But he got to a way. He told me that he had a music opportunity, and it was in Jacksonville, Florida. So I called my dad. You know, my dad's really known in the music industry, so I'm like, dad, they don't. Do I tell you off camera who my dad is.

[David (Interviewer)]

But they'll find out who your dad is.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I mean, then they have to Google. But my dad, this girl, he. You know, he's gonna Google my dad on the podcast, y'.

[David (Interviewer)]

All. Yeah, don't make me go through all

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

this, but just tell me, you want me to take in your ear Text. I'll text it. Well, I don't have my phones, but nevertheless, I called my dad. I'm like, dad, do they even do music in Jacksonville? I've never heard of Jacksonville being a place that people did music. And he's like, no. And then I said, well, he said that he has to go out there for music. And so he was like, kaylin, listen, he is BSing you. Is this man hard to live with? And I was just like, d. That, like, you're doing too much. Like, you know, he been singing. He. He opened up for Chris Brown before, and he did. That was years ago, though. So I'm just saying all this stuff, and my dad is like, you're tripping. Like, you are tripping. Because whatever he's doing there, he could do here. Like, technology is different. So I didn't hear that. So the guy. He left. When he left, I was distraught, depressed, trying to figure out, you know, when he was coming back, etc. So the bill started coming, I was like, so, you know, we still splitting rent. You just found out who my dad was?

[David (Interviewer)]

No, I can't find it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So good. So put the name.

[David (Interviewer)]

Put the name in here. Just put the name in a Google. Because I need. I need. I need to know this.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You're gonna ask this in the question?

[David (Interviewer)]

No, but here's. No, no, I won't say anything. But here's the thing.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That is funny.

[David (Interviewer)]

So here's. Here's the thing. You. I mean, it seems like based on the timeline, who he was. Was very clear. But you might have just been so in love in your 20s that you

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

just don't see it, you know? But he actually was. He was. But, no, not necessarily. I wasn't so in love in my 20s that it became a thing. But more so, like, I believe people for who they are. So if you tell me, hey, I'm the podcast king, Da da da da da. I can't tell you who you're not because I don't know you. You get what I'm saying? And I've never been, like, in a relationship or with any guy or even no guys who lie. Like, back then, I ain't. That was totally. I did not know people lied, you know what I'm saying? Not to that extent. Like, all the men in my life, they real. You know what I'm saying? They don't have a reason to lie. They don't have a reason to pop it. They don't have. They are who they say they are, and it is who they say they are. So with that being said, I was just basically like, yeah, I wouldn't even

[David (Interviewer)]

know people in the music industry, so I don't know.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He's a music producer too. It's not like he's a rapper. So.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, I got you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Okay. But, yeah, nevertheless. So after that, it was just a. It was a whirlwind. So I was like, so you're not going to help with the bills? And he was like, oh, you can just sell everything in the apartment. Like, you could just sell the TVs. Sell the. Sell my Xbox for his half of the rent.

[David (Interviewer)]

What year is this?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

This is 20 out of the.

[David (Interviewer)]

Out. Out of the five years. What year?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

This first year. This is only a couple months of being. At this point, we're in November.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, listen to me, Listen to me, okay? I was a kid, it took five years. And you said y' all broke up because he wasn't.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[David (Interviewer)]

Exactly who I would have thought he was.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But that's what my dad was saying. So I was just like, you know, what in the world's going on? So I end up figuring out how to pay all the rent, all the bills, etc. Etc. Then he slid back in. You know, I miss you, I miss us, you know, all this other kind of stuff. He wanted to come back, so I was like, okay, that's fine, but you gotta. You gotta pay that other half that I just paid, though, in order for you to come back. So he figured out how to do that, and he Did. When he came back, he was still on the same stuff he was on. So it just led to more arguments, more arguments, more arguments. Hanging out with his guy friends all day, all night. It was just uncalled for. So I ended up just telling him, like, you know, it's not gonna work out. Like, I thought it was gonna work out. It's not gonna work out. Blase, blase, blah. He pulled a pity party on me and it worked, but he was already gone. So he ended up getting his truck driving job, the one that you actually can make the money from. And that's when I realized that the CDL thing was a real thing. And I'm like, so you've been playing broke? It's not playing broke, but you could have very well been making our rent in a week. Back then, rent was only 800.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So I'm like, you was making. You can make that in a week. How in the world were you making, what, 400 in a week with this other job? Like you was playing in my face. So he came back. He came back, you know, every two weeks or whatever. And he was just, come by, see me, take me out. Nothing major. Just come see me, take me out. I'll just go about my day. He go about his day. You know, that was a thing for like a couple months. I ended up pregnant. I got pregnant and we ended up having a miscarriage. Wow. When we had the miscarriage, it was like so crazy because he then got to a point like, you know, I want a kid. You know, I have a stomach illness. So then he was questioning, like, if I could even have kids, kids. And I was like, dang, I don't even know. Like, that is a. Like that might really be a thing. Like, can I. So it was really detrimental on my mental health at that point. Cuz at that point I'm like, I don't even really know the answer to that question. That. So then I started, like looking into it and everything else like that. Lo and behold, now here I am pregnant again immediately after. So I end up getting pregnant again. And he was just like, what? Like, you know, you pregnant? I'm like, yeah, you know, and this is what you wanted? And he like, yeah. So I'm like, that's what you. That's what you did. Like, but you actually did. So I'm like, dang. Like, this is crazy. So we ended up, I was working at a hotel, a really popular hotel, and I had benefits, so we were able to stay for very, very cheap, you know, at the hotel. At the hotels. So I was staying in luxurious hotels. They washed my clothes, everything, and I was just well taken care of at these hotels. Right. And so he would come home and he would stay at the hotel with me.

[David (Interviewer)]

So you left your apartment to.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I had been left my apartment. I had left my apartment right when we broke up, I was just not in the space to be there anymore. So I ended up living my apartment. I went back to my grandmother's, and then I only stayed there for like a couple months. And I was like, nah, I just got to be back on my own. And I was traveling. I was doing beauty shows everywhere. So it just made sense for me to just. I mean, I was only spending $40 a night on hotels, so that was really cheap. I'm doing everything I needed to do. I was getting sick because I have a stomach illness and I couldn't work anymore because I couldn't stand the smell of things. The even get up out my bed. I couldn't stand it. So it left him to kind of sort of handle stuff. Then he end up with another situation of he got a music opportunity and this time it's in California end up. And I was like, well, what am I supposed to do? He was like, I don't know, because you're pregnant. I'm pregnant now. So I'm like, you know, what am I supposed to do? He's like, well, I don't know. So I end up going through his phone. He was in the shower. I went through his phone and I seen that friend that he was communicating with about going to California. He had text him, was like, bro, I'm just hoping she have another miscarriage because I. I don't want to do this. So I was like, okay. So we ended up. He ended up getting out the shower, and I ended up talking to him about it. This was right before the BET Awards too. So we were actually getting ready for the BET Awards. And I was just like. The whole time I'm just staring at him because I'm like, I can't believe what I read. And so we got on the elevator, going downstairs from the hotel, about to get into the truck, and I was just like, so you hope I have a miscarriage? He was like, what are you talking about? I said, that's what you told your friend? You told him you hope I have a miscarriage? He was like, nah, it's just stressful right now. You know, we're not in the place. I said, but you hoping I have a miscarriage? It's crazy. So we really didn't talk too much at the award show. We didn't talk or anything. We came back, he apologized and stuff like that. And I was just like, I just don't want to talk. So I just wasn't in the space to talk. So we didn't talk. So he ended up going off to California. I ended up going to, staying with my best friend. And he was just kind of like there for me. He's just my best friend. So it was him, his mom, his sisters, everybody was a big house. So I had my own part of the house and I was just there and I was paying her to stay there and everything else like that. And they started going through difficulties too. Like most people that are, you know, she's a widow, so therefore she was going through a lot of stuff. So I knew that that wasn't a space for me. So I was in limbo. He ended up saying he wanted to come back and he was gonna pay for us to have the Airbnb is this, that and the other. And I say, you know what? I said, I think we need to come up with a plan now because now we have a kid on the way. Like before, this was all random stuff that was just happening and now here we are. So he ended up coming back. He ended up getting another truck driving job over the road and I ended up staying on a truck with him. So I stayed on the truck for five months.

[David (Interviewer)]

Wow.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yep. So I stayed on the truck for five months while I was pregnant. And then I came home. Came home to my baby shower.

[David (Interviewer)]

What does it look like? So you just drive all day then find a hotel?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nah. Driving all day. You sleeping in a truck?

[David (Interviewer)]

You're sleeping on the truck?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. So I wasn't even allowed to be on the truck. Cause he's new, you know, So I really had to stay in the. In the closed off area where the bed is like there's like a little a curtain and it traps like the heat or the air, whatever, in the back of the cabin and then he's in the front driving. So every now and then I'd be allowed to now go up there and ride if there was like no exits or no truck stops or no, you know, no places there.

[David (Interviewer)]

So.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But most of the time I spent back there.

[David (Interviewer)]

Unbelievable. You're pregnant, stay in the back of a truck and you just sit on the truck.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I was planning my business for hours. Yeah. I was playing my business the whole time. It was me, my journal, my calendar. Yep.

[David (Interviewer)]

Where do y' all take showers, truck stops.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So you go to the truck stop, it's a gas station. Got the little restaurants in there, maybe like a Wendy's or whatever. And then in the back, it's like a whole shot, like a bunch of shower areas. They're pretty nice, too. Not all of them are bad. Some of them are terrible. But the ones we went to, they were pretty straight.

[David (Interviewer)]

Wow.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, they got towels for you and everything.

[David (Interviewer)]

You must have loved that, man.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You know what? It went from love to survival because at that point, I couldn't take care of myself. I always took care of myself, so I couldn't take care of myself. And that's what it went from I love you so much to now we just need each other to survive. Because at this point, this is now we can't go back. And I'm not having a. You know, I'm not doing that.

[David (Interviewer)]

You can't go back to your grandmother

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

because we had a really bad. We always had a really rocky type of situation. We had a really rocky. It's two emotional women in the house at the same time. It just don't go. But it is just actually better for my mental space to be there. I was by myself. I was in solitude. I didn't have no distractions. I had nothing but time to do what I needed to do. So I ended up getting my first salon suite before we even had an apartment. And so I was selling bundles off the truck. I was selling bundles and drop shipping off the truck. I was doing everything, but I didn't have nothing else to do. So. And I never really been a person that watched TV like that. So it was really just me trying to build brand ambassadors. I have a book of brand ambassador that was doing all the work for me. So I was literally just, hey, post this. Or you know, Instagram was really new back then and this was like when people were actually getting real recognition before algorithm was starting you. So I didn't even have girls with that many followers and they were really being my brand ambassador. So every time I came home, I was working on something with the business. I opened my suite. I ended up putting six girls in that suite because I couldn't work and that started paying me. So while I was back on a truck, rent is coming to me the whole time for the girls that are in there. And when I had my baby, I just was able to actually execute all the things I had been planning. So that's when I did hair again. That's when I was doing Broner Brothers show Talia Waji's show, I just, like, took off. And I think he wasn't ready for that because he had seen me in a place where I needed him, like, you know, and so when it actually did start taking off, you know, he was helping, of course, too. But when it started taking off, it was more so like, who is she? Like, he didn't recognize me anymore, and I was already checked out mentally. I was already checked out. We ended up getting engaged. He proposed to me, and when he proposed to me, I wasn't even there mentally then.

[David (Interviewer)]

So you just said yes out of yes?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I said yes out of the fact that this is somebody who I'm building a life with already. I watch a lot of interviews and stuff, so I noticed that you might not like your partner in every season. Everybody go through seasons or whatever. So I was thinking, like, you know, we'll see. You know what I'm saying? We'll see how this goes. We don't have to get married tomorrow, but this is definitely saying, yeah, I would marry you if things are. But he already knew this before and after the engagement. Like, you know, there are some things that you got to tighten up, but, I mean, he didn't tighten them up. It was like. It was one of, like, the worst situations ever. So then I left. I ended up leaving. I left for the most simplest things, but I left for the most simplest thing. But it was so much that. That really. Yeah. Backed that up.

[David (Interviewer)]

Wow. Okay, man. What a journey.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Leading us up to. You're 30 now. How long have you been single today?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Well, a year. I was just in a relationship with a Connecticut guy.

[David (Interviewer)]

So. Have you been dating over the year?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, I date a lot. No, no, I don't have time, and I'm not easily accessible, so everybody can't go around like, oh, yeah, he was with K. I was with K2. Like, nah, I don't got that going on.

[David (Interviewer)]

So let me get some aesthetics of a man that you like. What are the aesthetics? If you have.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

What does he look like right now?

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah. If you had to. If you can create it, create a man.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Well, the guy was just worse. We kind of still talk right now, but he was good because somebody you're

[David (Interviewer)]

talking to right now.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, he was a good.

[David (Interviewer)]

Y' all still talk on and off?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, on and off.

[David (Interviewer)]

Or is it just like a we get together?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nah, it's on and off. It's on and off talking thing. We had a little rough patch.

[David (Interviewer)]

What was the rough patch about?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I felt like communication. Nah, it really could have, Honestly. Huh?

[David (Interviewer)]

What's the problem?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

The way he communicates. You just can't. Like I told him, you just can't talk to me any kind of way. Like, you can't be aggressive.

[David (Interviewer)]

Do you know that that's how he talks?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So I see him talk to other people like this, But I've also was the show that some of them cried on because they couldn't deal with it. So I was their backbone with helping them deal with him. And I'm like, no, but you really got an issue. Like, you really got to stop.

[David (Interviewer)]

You meaning, like, other women that he dated?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Like, people that work, friends, you know, stuff like that.

[David (Interviewer)]

Got it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Y. Yeah. So it was really bad.

[David (Interviewer)]

And eventually you just. You just got. You was just over it, like, the 100%.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Like it was. I became like a punching bag for a second and I was like, whoa, hold on.

[David (Interviewer)]

Physically?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No. Hell no.

[David (Interviewer)]

Have you ever been hit?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, no, no. I don't even rock like that. I mean, I know some women do, but.

[David (Interviewer)]

Nah, you can't avoid it. At some point, if that's what that person decides to do.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I think God wouldn't put more on you than you can bear, so I don't think God would ever put me in a situation like that.

[David (Interviewer)]

I pray he doesn't listen.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I feel bad for whoever thought they might have, could have, should have, would have did that.

[David (Interviewer)]

But think about this. The person that you're talking to on and off, which you're currently still talking to him, and you're seeing a side of him, and you may see a more aggressive side.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He wouldn't put his hands on me.

[David (Interviewer)]

Well, that's what everyone has ever said about their partner before. They put their hands on him.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's true. Imma just say he. Nah, I get what you're trying to say, but no, there's a lot of things that would happen as a result of that. I think that everybody who ever met me or date me is aware of it. So it's like, nah, it's not worth it.

[David (Interviewer)]

I don't understand.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

It's not worth it. It wouldn't be worth your life.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, you think?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I know. It wouldn't be worth their life.

[David (Interviewer)]

Why? Okay, maybe I don't understand. Why would they? She has shooters.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I got shooters.

[David (Interviewer)]

I really hope nobody ever puts their hands on you because this is incriminating.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Actually, I'm telling you seriously.

[David (Interviewer)]

Well, but it also depends on how much you love the person.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nah, you'll never be able to put Your hands on me? No. You know what's so crazy, though? My child's father. My child's father, his brother, he came to stay with us for a minute, you know, after they. You know, he came stay with us for a minute, and we had got into a really, really, really, really, really bad argument.

[David (Interviewer)]

You and his brother?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, we had gotten to say really bad argument, and he grabbed me.

[David (Interviewer)]

His brother grabbed you?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, he grabbed me. And that situation didn't go. It didn't go right. And it was just a grab, but it didn't go right.

[David (Interviewer)]

What did your boyfriend do?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Man, he didn't do enough, which is why I checked out. This was right after we got engaged, too. This was like, probably a week later.

[David (Interviewer)]

His brother grabs you and he doesn't do anything?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No. He asked me. He was like, well, why are you arguing with my brother? And I said, are you serious? Like, I just paused for me, like, are you serious? I said, all right, bet. Let me go deal with your brother then. Now I got off the phone with him, and I put his brother out. Yeah. And that situation got really bad. So when he finally got off of work and came home, he was like, come here, Let me get a hug. And I was like, no. So he was in a rough patch, and then the next day, he was playing a game live with him. The NBA, 2K, whatever they be playing in your house? Nah, he was. Wherever he was at, they all live. So I'm just hearing this man in the back. I'm like, so, yo, yo, brother come in this house? And he felt like. And then you feel, oh, no.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, tell me this. What are your toxic traits?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I could be aggressive.

[David (Interviewer)]

I can sense that a little bit.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, I could be aggressive. I feel like that's the only one, because there's layers to it.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's a big one.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

There's layers.

[David (Interviewer)]

Aggressive means you might put your hands on somebody.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, I would never put my hand on the man.

[David (Interviewer)]

So what does aggressive. Me.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

David, why didn't you take the trash out? I just told you to take the trash out five minutes ago.

[David (Interviewer)]

Who wants to be talked to like that?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm saying, though. But it's just like one of those, like. And it's not that I intentionally do it. I don't do it. Like, I don't do it as much anymore.

[David (Interviewer)]

But you don't check it. You could be single at 40.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I won't, but.

[David (Interviewer)]

Because if you don't check that.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I get it.

[David (Interviewer)]

You could be single at 40.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But, you know, it's so crazy. Though it's not a. It's not a. Once I started talking like that, I probably already lost respect for them.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, or you could be sabotaging the relationship somehow. Yeah, people do that.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You know, I can. No, I have before.

[David (Interviewer)]

So you don't know what the future holds for you? I do. One thing you do know. Well, you don't.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You don't speak those things as though

[David (Interviewer)]

they are, of course, but. But you don't know what the future holds.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't know what the future holds. But let me ask this question.

[David (Interviewer)]

What if your person was waiting for you when you turned 50, but that person that you meet at 50 is, like, total bliss? Or you just get to pick your own and you just be in and out of weird relationships till then?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't really be that. None of the relationships have been weird, though. Like, the baby daddy situation, that was as weird as it got after that. I've dealt with some really high value, high quality men, and you ruined it.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

And.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I. Heck no. I started getting aggressive like that. Like what I'm talking about right now. I start up as the most softest submissive. You literally start ticking that down. Like, you know what I'm saying? With certain things. So therefore. No, that is true.

[David (Interviewer)]

If there's a part of you that's who you are, it comes out, period.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Eventually, if it gets there. But most of the time, like, recently, like, even what I was just saying right then, that was on some baby daddy stuff. I ain't did that to none of them since baby daddy. Okay, but. And it's because they have a certain level of respect that I give them. Like, I respect them now. Like, certain things I look for, like, is this a man I can respect? Like, genuine. Like, is this somebody who can lead me? You get what I'm saying? I just was in a situation where the man was leading me all different types of ways. So with my baby daddy, I'm now done with him and he's doing his own thing over somewhere else. But what I'm saying is, is that that's still inside. So once I get to that level, I'm probably already done. That's probably my grand finale.

[David (Interviewer)]

Got it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You know what I'm saying?

[David (Interviewer)]

All right. So why do you think you're single right now?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I think I'm single right now. I don't know. It's several different things. I feel like the people who I did see that it could be like a forever with. There was some things that Were in the dark that came to light.

[David (Interviewer)]

Like what?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I had a guy that had three kids on me

[David (Interviewer)]

while y' all were dating.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Hold on, hold on. Because you're only with the last. You've been single for a year. The last person that only lasts for a few months.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

And before that, I was single for a long time. From. Cuz I was from my baby daddy.

[David (Interviewer)]

You were single for a long time then your baby daddy. So where's the guy that got the three kids on you?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He had. He got both his baby moms pregnant immediately after this. The first. This my first this. I'm hopping straight off the porch with this. Okay, this the first situation after the baby daddy. This the first one? Yes. This the first one. This the welcome to being single. He was with me every single day. Every day. I was putting my beauty supply store together, and he was there painting. He brought his homeboys over there. They was cleaning the baseboards. They was doing my floors. They was really on it. We were together every single day. And so every now and then he would have, like, his moments where he was going through some things or whatever. I was kind of understanding because I had some things going on too. So I was like, you know, I would give him his little grace. It would only be like a day or two. You come back, you know, we talk, you know, go out on a date, we go back to start working. You know, we had a very good flow. And I remember my birthday.

[David (Interviewer)]

Look, I know there's somebody listening right now that's been saying, one day I'm going to start my business. And the truth is, most people don't have an idea problem. They have a starting problem. And that's why I like Shopify. They already have everything set up for you from day one, so you can stop overthinking and actually start selling. And one thing I really like is the checkout experience. When somebody is finally ready to buy from you. Shopify checkout helps more people actually complete their purchase. Then when they come back, their information is already saved. So buying again is incredibly simple. Now, here's the part entrepreneurs don't think about enough. Every hour you're trying to figure out websites and payments and all the technical stuff is an hour you're not creating content, finding customers, or making sales. So Shopify handles that foundation so you could spend your time growing the business instead of building the infrastructure. And that's why millions of businesses, from brands you already know to people launching their very first companies, trust Shopify to power their business. With Shopify Nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it a real business right now. Start your free [e-mail] social. That's shopify.com social. Again that shopify.com social.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He had got a hotel. And he was like, you know, pull up. And I was like, why are you at this hotel? And I'm like, maybe he got a surprise for me. Like, he probably decked it out. So I came. I was like, you know, I was ready, right? I got there. And he was like, you can come in. And he just laid down. I was like, what's wrong with the hotel? And I decked out like, what's going on? Why are you at point this hotel? And the hotel wasn't even a hotel hotel, for real. So I'm like, what's. What's going on? And then he was just like, I got kids on the way. Just like that. And I was like, by who? And he was like, both of them. I said, both of who? And he was like, his baby mamas. One of them was pregnant with twins, and then the other one was pregnant as well. And so.

[David (Interviewer)]

And y' all together?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. So I just stare. I just stared at the wall for a second. And then. It's gonna be funny what I did. But I was like. I said, I guess we got to sing the song together. And he was like, what is wrong with you? And I just started singing Confessions by Usher. So I got up out. I got up. I stood up.

[David (Interviewer)]

So you weren't hurt? You were just.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I told him, I said I was hurt later. But during that moment, it was crazy. It was like, this is crazy. Because my reality, like, dang, I go from being engaged to a man having three kids. I mean, where does that. Like, how does that happen? So I was just like. I said, dang, better them than me. Cause geez. And then I was like, so they beefing. Like, what's the. What's the drama? Like, what's the tea? Cause they're in it. I'm not in it. Like, you get what I'm saying? I'm not in it. And so I was like, dang, they should have had a business by you. Instead they could have been the business daddy. My business daddy. So he was just like, you're crazy. And I was just like, so when we meeting at the beauty supply store, cuz we had to finish working. So I couldn't think emotionally about that situation. Like later on, I cried about it. Not even really cried. Cuz at that point I was just like, three Kids like, dang. And he was younger than me. He was like, a year younger than me. So he was 24. 24. So that mean that he would have had five kids by then. I was just like, dang. So that. That made me realize, though, better now than later on, we could have been. I could have been pregnant with them. Like, let me go get tested. Like, I'm thinking of stuff like that. I called my homegirl, like, yo, you won't believe in this. Man just told me.

[David (Interviewer)]

Unbelievable.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

And I caught his homeboys. We all knew each other. We all grew up together. So I called his homeboys. I'm like, y' all knew what he had going on this whole time. And they like, bruh. And I was like, y' all knew the whole time. And y' all both was playing in my face.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yo, this. Oh, my God.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

My dating story is crazy.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So that's not mean by. Nah. I feel like there's some guys, though, even there's some guys, though, that. That were really good that I didn't do right with.

[David (Interviewer)]

Tell me more.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Tell me more. You ought to hear that way.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, I want to know.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, I didn't do right, cuz I

[David (Interviewer)]

figured something's wrong with you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. Yeah. No, for real. Everybody has something.

[David (Interviewer)]

Everybody has these things, right?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But no, I kind of healed from those things. But right after those situations, like from the baby dad, then do having three kids, those next situationships. I can. I wasn't. I wasn't there. I wanted to be there. There was some really good guys, too. I wanted to be there. I just wasn't there. Yeah, sabotage those relationships. I didn't want to be there mentally. I couldn't check in mentally because I'm like, what are you about to do next? What are you coming with?

[David (Interviewer)]

Here's my thing. Only because it's been. It's a short window of time that all this stuff has happened. You're only 30. You ain't even living.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm only 30, but I've lived a life. Yeah,

[David (Interviewer)]

it's so. I don't know if you're entirely ready to have a good man right now.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I think so. Now we'll see. Yeah, I think that. I mean, I'm telling you stories from what happened, if you want to know, years and stuff. Like that baby daddy situation. We left each other in 20, 21, straight out of COVID We were still wearing masks on our face.

[David (Interviewer)]

From the baby daddy to the dude that had the kids on you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That was immediately after. That lasted from August to December.

[David (Interviewer)]

Bruh. It's. It's a four year window. Yeah, five years. Four or five years.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So I didn't talk to nobody for a minute after him. I normally give him a big gap though. So I really only since. Since baby day situation. Probably only been like four people I've ever talked to. And these are like real gaps. Like I don't talk to them right after. Like I give my time.

[David (Interviewer)]

You gotta put up. You gotta start dating more people.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I think that that's what I don't want to do.

[David (Interviewer)]

You gotta put up shots.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I feel like. I feel like me dating. My dad told me not to do that because I used to be like

[David (Interviewer)]

in your 20s and they all just weird stuff.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You're not all them was weirdo, but

[David (Interviewer)]

a lot of them. Most of them.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So guys, two of them.

[David (Interviewer)]

Two of them is the baby daddy and then the dude that had the kids on you. One of them was the tooth. That ain't really the tooth.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Was a date. That was a date.

[David (Interviewer)]

And then you ruined two of them.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, I wrote two.

[David (Interviewer)]

This is. It's just not a good track record.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

And then this one that, you know,

[David (Interviewer)]

we kind of in the one now. What's wrong with him?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I thought he's aggressive.

[David (Interviewer)]

Oh yeah, he's.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm not there no more. Like you got to just come at me kind of soft.

[David (Interviewer)]

You sure you have faith in love?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I do. I'm a lover girl.

[David (Interviewer)]

But you've been through so much and it seems like I'm telling you, you need to watch out for this because you're not totally healed yet. You may find a good person and internally it might not even let you sit in that moment or even believe that there's not some sort of rug pull here.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You think so?

[David (Interviewer)]

100%.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't think so. I think that because I have so many great examples of love and men around me, like, that's not. This is new. Like this is like a. Whoa. Like crazy.

[David (Interviewer)]

But examples. You personally?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. Okay, so no, the last one and one before that, like the one that we like, met. Those are the one. The one before that is when I sabotaged. I sabotaged that one. I take one 1000% credit in. No, I can't take 1000. I gotta take 50 of that to sabotage the situation. You smile. He forgot my birthday. That's a big thing for girls. That's a big thing. So that was a thing.

[David (Interviewer)]

He has all the stuff that you want and now because he forgot my

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

birthday, that's a big thing for the girls.

[David (Interviewer)]

No no, it's not the big thing for the girls. That's a big thing for you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, no, no. Women, we love our birthdays. That is our day. That's the thing for women in a

[David (Interviewer)]

relationship with someone who. Who has all the stuff that you want because they have a bad memory is nuts.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's nuts. That's. No, no, no, no. Cause you know what that showed me? Cause honestly, let me tell you, he also helped me plan it. He helped me plan my. How you forget. He forgets. Okay, so tell me that's not wrong. Tell me that's not wrong.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's even more dumb on your.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, it's not.

[David (Interviewer)]

Because he helps you. He had the heart to plant it. It's memory. It's his memory. It's not like.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

And he said that.

[David (Interviewer)]

But your memory isn't a light switch that you turn turned on and off.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nah. Because here goes the thing.

[David (Interviewer)]

You're not healed.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I am healed. That was. That hurt me. That hurt me.

[David (Interviewer)]

Exactly.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, I was healed before he hurt me. So if I come into. You healed, right? If I come to you 1000% healed, that don't mean I can't be hurt again. You now have a clean slate, right?

[David (Interviewer)]

You let something, and then you hurt me small.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

We had other things before that. But that was the. I told you. By the time I finally leave, by the time I finally be like, no, I can't even take this no more. You get what I'm saying? Like, women, we check out beforehand, right? Oh, we already got a. We got a whole thing. But I didn't do that.

[David (Interviewer)]

Contradicting yourself right now, Emma. Yes. You're saying this one. Oh, my gosh, he was good. I sabotaged it. He was good.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He was.

[David (Interviewer)]

And then you said the thing was he forgot my birthday. And that's a big thing for girls. You've been taught that. That's a big thing for girls. Listen to me. Listen to me. I sometimes forget my wife's age. I sometimes forget my wife's birthday. I don't never remember the anniversary. But we've been together for eight years. We have three kids. And she will tell you that I'm the best man she's ever met in her life. Do you think I would intentionally. Do you think, like, I would intentionally try to forget my wife's birthday?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I think that that would be a different situation because I know you still take care of your wife. You still are the best man she's ever been with. Right? So this guy is a great. This guy. He's A great. I can't tell you all my life stories while we here on our podcast. The guy was a great guy. He had his ups and his downs, right? And I still accepted those for what they were. Did not self sabotage that part of the situation. There were times, though, where it was a moment, I'm like, okay, the memory thing might be really a thing, and I would really be offended by a lot of different things. But with the birthday situation, that was a big birthday. That was. I never got a phone call. I was at my party waiting for him to show up with what he said he was showing up with. And actually we was pausing the whole party waiting for him to come. And so I text him, like, hey, what time you pulling up? Don't you. I ain't got a happy birthday yet, but I'm giving him grace for the surprises, everything else, because, you know, that's how sometimes it happens. But, yeah, time went on and did not hear from him, did not talk to him, nothing. And I was like. He was like, oh, I didn't tell you? Yeah, I ain't gonna be able to make it because I got, you know, yada yada, yada, yada, yada. And so here I am in the middle of the party where you're supposed. You have the biggest part of that party. I see you have the biggest part of that party. You're supposed to be bringing me all these different things that were to complete the party. And here I am, not trying to be on you, not trying to nag you, not trying to ruin my own surprises, not trying to do all that. And so the girl's like, yo, can we. Can we do this? Can we do that now? I'm like, we still waiting on him. They're like, did you call him? I was like, no, because I haven't even gotten a call yet. Like, I'm trying to give grace for him to do whatever he do, because I don't want to rush that situation. So that's what happened. But it wasn't like, oh, you just forgot my birthday. No, I don't ever want to talk to you again. No. And then even after that situation, I gave it grace. I called him, I went back to my office, I called him, and he ignored the call. And I was like. And he was like, sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm studying. So I'm like, so you forget my birthday? You ignore the call. You're studying? And we had been through a lot that whole year, and I was just like, this is crazy. So I sat in my office and I just had a real reality check. It wasn't a spontaneous, like, oh, boom, boom, boom. No, I literally sat there and I just thought, like, dang, like, am I in this by myself? Or, like, given a track record? That's what happened. It wasn't a situation like, oh, I'm just not healed. I'm just putting it like. No, I give everybody a clean.

[David (Interviewer)]

Can I tell you what I think?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. Can you take back what you said, though, first?

[David (Interviewer)]

Which part?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Take the whole thing back. Take that whole thing back about me self sabotaging that situation for his birthday. For the birthday? No, because here's the thing.

[David (Interviewer)]

Because why you put extra sauce on it?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, that's really what happened. I just couldn't tell you the details.

[David (Interviewer)]

I understand. I understand. I don't think it was the birthday thing. I think it was. You were embarrassed.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Your. Your friends are there talking about we could do it. You're probably. Let me tell you in my head

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

what I think, because they didn't even want me to be with him.

[David (Interviewer)]

Exactly. No, that's where I was going. Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I wasn't embarrassed, though.

[David (Interviewer)]

Listen to me. Listen to me. Yeah, just give me. Give me. Give me 90 seconds.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't know if I can sitting

[David (Interviewer)]

a picture of what I think happened. Okay. It could be totally off. Yeah, but I think it's totally on because you just confirmed what I wanted to say. So Here we go. 90 seconds. Let's start the clock. I think there's this birthday, and you're excited. You are upset because he. He forgot your birthday. Something came up. Whatever. That's his fault. Something should not come up on the birthday of the person that y'. All. How long were y' all together?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Like, on and off for, like, three years.

[David (Interviewer)]

On and off.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Not two.

[David (Interviewer)]

Two on and off for two years. Okay? The birthday party is happening. There's a lot of things that can't happen until he gets there. So you're telling people to hold off, and they're like, yo, can we do this? And that. You're like, no, I'm still waiting on him. The embarrassment starts to set in. You're with a bunch of probably single again. This is just my. This is just my hypothesis, okay? In my head, a bunch of probably single, bitter, doing nothing with their life, women that don't want you to be with him anyway, because they see you happy and they not happy. Happy themselves. And you are bitter and you're upset and you're embarrassed. And I can imagine the conversations that I Told you so. And then something else may be small happy. He picks up. He's actually studying. I don't know if he's in school. Whatever. He's studying and you think that he's on the other end and your phone rings and in your head he's like, man, I ain't answering her. Let me go back to tongue kissing this girl right now. When he replies and says, yo, I'm just studying, I hit you back. Right back. And then you sit in your office and you assess. I can't do this because all of this stuff is starting to compile, namely the embarrassment and these chicken head friends you got.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Okay, so let me start off by saying I don't hang out with chicken head friends. That's the first one.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's the picture I had in my head.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Okay? That's what I'm saying.

[David (Interviewer)]

Hold on one second. Did you see that? Is that. You think it may be an accurate picture? It could be a possibility.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That could be a possibility for a different girl. Okay, not this one.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You get what I'm saying? Wrong one. Because my girlfriends, first of all, all, Almost all of them are in relationships. Okay? That's one. Almost all of them are in relationships. One of our mutual, I guess, industry friends was there and he also was looking forward to him coming because he invited him on some. Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see you at K's thing. Because da da, da, da, da. Mind you, I never. I never tell people who I talk to to. I don't mention names even, like my home girls. Like, they only knew because they started seeing him around, that nobody knew about anything like that. Right. Like, as far as, like, the depth, as far as the. The crowd or anything else like that. It was only like two or three of my home girls who were in relationships, okay, for years, by the way. They are the ones who knew the person. They are. Yes, they are on. On. Yes. No, we are some real. Honestly, our friend group is totally different from what you see. As far as the other girls. We don't. I don't. We don't even go for, like. I don't even go for the breakups and stuff like that. I'm the one that's like, nah, fix it. They don't want calling me. The guy's like, yo, get your friend. Yo. She, you know, she doing that thing. She always do it. Like, that's how we roll. We not rolling with the messy relationships. We not rolling like that, period. So therefore, when my mutual industry friend, he came over, he's a much older guy. He's probably your age. And he was like, where, what happened to him?

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm much older.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

First off, you are you, you got gray hair and stuff now. So it's a little, it's a little different. I mean, you got the hat, the air forces, you got you, you dressed apart. But you are still older than me a lot. You're a decade older than me. That's the thing. So he's older, he's wise like you. And so when he said that to me, he said, I did not. I just knew he was gonna. I said, I told you it wasn't like that. I told him that I told you it wasn't even like that. That's why I don't let people know you know, stuff like that. But I told you that. And so when I went back to my office, him forgetting my birthday. I've had guys forget my birthday and then make it up later on. I've had things like that. It was when I called, nobody's around, right? Actually, one of my homegirls, she was around. Her name is Rose. Rose came around and she's in my office and we're in the office together. And she was like, oh, I know that look. You gotta relax. Like, I already know you. Like, don't even call him. I'm taking a phone blase blah. And I'm like, no, I'm about to call him because I just want to ask, like, what happened? Mind you, he was studying for a real thing. I'm well aware of what he was studying for. We were on the same page about that. I didn't know where the communication dropped the ball at. Right. Especially with us communicating as much as we had about the event. So at that point, me only getting a sorry or whatever, that was very dismissive of how I felt and how important this day was to me. You get what I'm saying? So at that point, that's when I was like, you know what? It's not, oh my God, you forget my, my birthday. It's like, am I really that important to you?

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Do you? Are you really there for real or you not, like, let me know genuinely what's going on. So as assessing everything and then even the little back and forth communication that we did have after he didn't answer the phone, that's when I was just like, you know, this isn't, this isn't going to work for me. I'm a giver in like my relationships and stuff. So in that standpoint, without me saying Too much. We were working together, Right? But we were working together in a space that was definitely around me. You get what I'm saying? I'm allowing this person in my space, you know? So therefore, I was like, am I the one giving too much in this situation? And I'm not receiving at all. Like, let me now check the actual records, because I can just be dilly dallying and just going on, oh, my God, this is such. And then in reality, like, yeah, I'm just here for a good time, not a long time or whatever. I could get out the situation. Not saying that's what he was, but I definitely looked back at the situation. I was like, I don't think this is going to be this. Not. That's not healthy.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. One, I don't like Rose for being in that room, not letting you call your man.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't even know I like Rose for that. You know why I like her for that.

[David (Interviewer)]

Hold on, hold on. I. But here's the thing. And the only reason I'm. I'm kind of weary about the sauce you're putting on this story now is because at first you said he was a good guy.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He is.

[David (Interviewer)]

And then you said you ruined it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

It was something about you in the beginning.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, if we could rewind the clock and let's just say you met him, you saw him out again, and he wanted to revisit it. Would you revisit it?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, I would.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yes.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I would go. But with the standpoint of things would be different, I would definitely assess the situation before jumping back in. I would assess to see, like, are you different for real?

[David (Interviewer)]

What I'm saying is, is everybody has something about them. And based on the story you were telling me before, before we got into kind of the whole birthday thing, is that he's a really good person and he just had some flaws. What you're describing. Yes. He might have a lot of stuff on his brain, and maybe he didn't grow up in a household where birthdays were celebrated like that. I didn't. So my wife is really big into birthdays and celebrations, and I'm not.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So when I. When I told you earlier in this conversation, I said, that's a thing for the girls. So that. So that is a thing.

[David (Interviewer)]

It's not a thing for the girl. Yes, it is a thing for you,

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

but it's a thing for her, too.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yes, it is. But most of us, you can't put whatever you go through and dismiss it as normal because other people go through it. They're just into that.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So something was very important to you, right? And it wasn't important to me. Right Now I'm just gonna say if I'm your wife, okay? If I'm your wife and something is very, very important to you and it's not as important to me, right? And I'm very dismissive about the thing that's important to you because it's not important to me. Doesn't that make you think like, dang, do you, are you there? Like this is something that's very, very important. Everybody, everybody cares about different things and everybody loves differently, right? So therefore I feel as though this, I'm going to love you the way you want to be loved, right? I'm going to do what I need to do to make sure you're feeling appreciated. The want to be appreciated and respected the way you want to. I've studied you enough. Like this is just me and all of them. I've studied you enough to know exactly how to treat you as the person you are. I'm not taking past situation. Everybody's different, right? That needs to be reciprocated. So I can't be the one always assessing, yes, always assessing you, always respecting you, always finding different ways to make you feel important and always finding different ways to. And I'm leaving certain things out because I know it's going to be public and everybody going to know exactly who everybody is. So if I'm doing all of these things that I know, changing your life, making you feel important and putting you in the pedestal that you want to be put into, right. If I'm doing all of those things, right. That definitely deserves to be reciprocated, period. So even though, yeah, birthdays might not be that important to you, to me, birthdays are important. So if I'm not caring about the rest of the 365 days, 364 days, then, and I'm saying this is my one day, right? That's my one day. Or if I'm saying this is my one thing, that's my one thing. So at that point I'm looking at effort. I'm definitely looking at effort. I'm definitely monitoring the entire situation and assessing it for what it actually is and not for me and my world of what I wanted it to be.

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm. I'm gonna attempt to give you some 41 year old wisdom because right now you are defending your 30 year old thought process. Are you ready?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

So a 2 rate, 2 way street looks this way. So we're like, okay, this is really important to me and it's not important to other person. The other person should at least acknowledge that this is really, really important to me and make it important to them because it's important to me. Right. Well, a two way street in a healthy marriage, from my limited experience. Okay. Because we've been married for eight years, that's not a long time. And things, people change and grow. Right. So I'm not. I'm not saying I'm the relationship king. Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Okay.

[David (Interviewer)]

The way I look at it is if something is important to me and it's not important to my wife, I let it not be important to my wife. And I don't take it any type of way because it's not important to her.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

How does she feel?

[David (Interviewer)]

Well, in that scenario, she would feel that I'm respectful of the things that's not important to her. Not trying to make it vice versa, though.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Vice versa. So if she has something that's very important to her. Right. That's why I need her right here. Next time we got to pull her up a chair right here. If something. If something is important to her and it's not important to you, how does she feel and how does she go about that?

[David (Interviewer)]

She understands who she's dealing with and

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

she can determine if she wanted to deal with that person or not. Correct.

[David (Interviewer)]

100.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Right.

[David (Interviewer)]

But then she'd be trading all the. Like if you're the 80, 20 rule, she'd be trading 80% for the 20.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Right.

[David (Interviewer)]

Which would be foolish.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So when I assess the situation and I gained my percentages and stuff like that, it didn't add up. That's why I left you, trying to make it right.

[David (Interviewer)]

The only reason I'm challenged with this is because before you had to defend this. Well, you said he was a great person. And I said, if y' all met again, you said, I tried again. Which means he has most of the stuff. There's a small percentage of things that maybe. Maybe that small percentage is big to you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Heavy.

[David (Interviewer)]

It is heavy. And what I'm saying is that's a you thing. What I'm telling you is by the time you get to maybe 41, you'll look back at this moment and say, man, he just maybe didn't grow up around important birthdays. But all this other stuff is what made me feel like a queen.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I think that with us being like in a tight situation, to be able to explain everything in depth. I gave you short answers and then you're asking more questions. Correct. And so not that I'm defending. I'm not actually like, okay, so you do have time to talk about this. Let me go ahead and give you more context to the situation. Not necessarily defending the situation. He's a great person. No lie. He's a great person. Now everybody, 30, 80, 20 is somebody. No, it was more so like, it got down to like 55, 45.

[David (Interviewer)]

Oh, then he's not a good person for me.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But it didn't mean that he wasn't a good person.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's horrible.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So therefore, that's when I was able to, once I assess the entire situation, I say, you know what? I don't think this is right. You get what I'm saying? Like, I give time. These aren't situations that overnight I've said, oh, no, forget like, I'm not a brat. I'm not that type of person. Anybody who's ever dated me, they will come in, they could sit right here and tell you, nah, she not even like that. And it's not that I'm cutting people off. They do one thing and I'm just done. No, I'm giving you the full chance to tell me who you are so I can respect you for who you are, learn your traits and everything else. Like that. Not anything else. I'd be like, oh, yeah, he forgot this.

[David (Interviewer)]

Or he got that piece of 41 year old wisdom. Okay, okay. If you meet someone that you dated and they're 55, 45, leave them alone.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

It got that way. It didn't start off that way.

[David (Interviewer)]

I understand that. What I'm saying is, my question was, if you saw him out right now, you'd be like, man, I'll give him another try.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm telling you, the context of knowing if he's changed with age, it changes me.

[David (Interviewer)]

Listen to me. If you met someone and they were

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

that lopsided, I didn't mean to lopsided that way.

[David (Interviewer)]

In a few years.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I didn't meet him lopsided is what I'm saying.

[David (Interviewer)]

How you met him.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

It's how I left him.

[David (Interviewer)]

It's how you left him. That's how he's been. You left them and that's a couple years. You don't, you don't change night and day in a couple years unless you done found some religion. You just.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I've changed. I've changed pretty quickly. Do you don't think that you've changed in a period of time? You don't have a period of time. We like, oh, I changed. No, that was my. You've Been the same person.

[David (Interviewer)]

We've changed. But I am exactly who I've been when my wife met me. A little more considerate before her. I'm the same person.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So everybody would always say that you were the same person. I'm about to say that's the one. I'm saying, though, there's time that goes in between the situation where if he made those corrections, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not going to hop back in at a 5545.

[David (Interviewer)]

What I'm saying is you don't go. You don't go 55, 45 to 80, 20 in two years. No, you go 55, 45. I've grown a little bit, but I'm still that same person. Guess what? Birthdays still ain't important to all. And it's going to piss you off, you know, crazy.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nah, you know, it's so crazy crazy, though. And I'm not trying to put too much out there. But I've seen him at birthdays in the birthday situations, and I've seen him buy bottles for people for their birthdays. I've seen him show up and show out for things change. So what I'm saying is don't change about a person.

[David (Interviewer)]

No, hold on, hold on. That situation might have been situational. He's out with his friends and he wanted to go out. He had the money to get a bottle. Yo, here goes.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So he's like, that was important.

[David (Interviewer)]

He's not celebrating the person.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yes, he is.

[David (Interviewer)]

He's celebrated because he feels like something since then.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm trying to tell you, David Shads, that this man, it would be like, oh, yeah, such and such birthday. So I'm gonna go hang out with them for dinner. This is an actual plan thing. You get what I'm saying?

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, here we go, Here we go. Moving forward, moving forward. Who can reach out to you right now? And you reply like, what type of person can reach out to you through the dm? What do they have to say? What do they have to say? What do they have to be on their profile? What type of pictures, what type of industry or not industry, but type of income, how they make their money? Just. Just give me the person that you need in your life right now.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He has to have his own business in some way, shape or form.

[David (Interviewer)]

Really? No, Straight nine to five.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He can have a nine to five

[David (Interviewer)]

too, but he can't have just a nine to five. No, he has to have a nine to five at a business.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yes.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So yes, I have Some type of business about himself. Very respectful. So I don't like guys sliding my DMs on some. What's up, Ma? I don't really open those either. It's more so like, hey, you know, how are you doing? And even those, I probably won't even open either. I really have to find them attractive first. I probably. We probably liked a couple of each other's pictures. We probably like on the stories. That's not how I flirt. It just showed interest. Not really flirting. That's flirting, is it?

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, like, yo, you like a picture? I like a picture. You know what I'm saying? Especially in the stories. Story. Okay. Because it takes some.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

The stories be the flirting.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You put it with somebody, your close friends, and then, you know, you start doing little subs. Yeah, that's the flirting for Instagram. That's how something like that would happen if it was online. But nine times out of 10, I would have had to meet him first because I did the teeth situation. So I learned from that. So I got, I got to see you smile. I got to see him without his hat on. I got to see him smile. You know, stuff like that.

[David (Interviewer)]

Now I feel self conscious.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

See, I couldn't do that.

[David (Interviewer)]

Y' all look.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

So he got a hat on and he take it off and he b.

[David (Interviewer)]

My wife did the same thing. Like, well, she didn't do the same thing, but I, I, we went out somewhere and I just got a haircut. Cuz I didn't want to show you who I am. What I didn't see. I need to see this baldi. You can't. In the white ball.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I've dated bald guys. But you not. You got to start out. You got to show me this in private first so I could be like, I don't know what's wrong with bald? I mean, that's just old. That definitely gives age. Like the Connecticut yard. He was older and he was bald, too. And he used to wear hats like that too, and he used to wear them all the time. And I remember the first time he took his hat off, I was shocked.

[David (Interviewer)]

I was. I don't, I don't wear stuff.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Is it smooth?

[David (Interviewer)]

I don't think I wear a hat because I'm hiding my hair. Unless it's in between cuts sometimes because that hairline start growing back and it look crazy. So. Yes, I have an old situation. Okay. I got an old hairline.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, you got older, you start receding and stuff. Yeah, you know, I got hair transplants for stuff like that now.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, I think, I don't think I got the follicles now.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

They put them in there. They can, they can, you know, make

[David (Interviewer)]

your hairline look like it's drawn.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, it's not gonna be drawing.

[David (Interviewer)]

You've seen the ones where it looked like it's a drawn on baldy.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Nah, they actually put the hair follicles

[David (Interviewer)]

in there, but I think mine's dead. It's not gonna. Even though you put it in there, I don't think I got enough.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, it's a thing. It's a thing. I could teach you about that. I'll teach you about that. You teach me about the relationship, I teach you how to figure that out. Yeah, man, if that's what you want to do. You kind of old now, so that kind of fits you.

[David (Interviewer)]

My wife love me the way I am.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

She rub your head at night?

[David (Interviewer)]

Absolutely.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Put a little oil on it, Put a little, little grease on it.

[David (Interviewer)]

My wife loves some. Me tell you. Okay. Cuz I've let her know who I am and she knows exactly who she's dealing with and she's not going to trade the 80 for the 20.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

But she learned you, right? She took the time to learn you. Took the time to learn her.

[David (Interviewer)]

This is the 41 year old wisdom you. And again, I, I don't, I don't know the details and what I do know is hindsight. We could look back and paint a picture of a bad person. But for what I asked you, it seems like the first memory was, yo, I messed that up.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, in the beginning, I messed it up. When we met, when we first met, it was right after situation, so we weren't talking in my mind, we couldn't talk then because it was right after the situation. So we didn't really even link up or anything to like two months after we met. And that was on me because I'm like, nah, I don't want to go out. No, I don't want to go on dates. No, I don't want it. He was like, he was here. Like, he was just like, you know, what's up? What you up to? Are you available for? He was like, are you available? And I'm like, for what? He'd like to call you. And I'm like, okay, so now we go on the phone, now we're talking a little bit more, you know what I'm saying? So. But I remembered the beginning, you know what I'm saying? Of how hard I was and how like that part, you get what I'm saying? And I felt like that had an effect on the actual relationship parts of it because it was like, girl, you wanna inside me?

[David (Interviewer)]

All right, man, that real quick. You're 30. What's the youngest? What's the oldest that you can go?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I can date the son, the daddy and the granddaddy. No, I'm just like, I can, but I can, though. That's the thing. I'm 30 now.

[David (Interviewer)]

There's no. I'm saying. But your preference.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't really have a preference. I've dated some older guys and I've dated some younger guys.

[David (Interviewer)]

What do you prefer? Older, younger or your age? Age.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Right. At my age, like a 30. You know what's so crazy? I feel like some of the older guys are the most immature. The ones that are single, that are left, that are older, they are so immature mentally, because if they were mature, they'd be married and have, you know, whatever. So they're very immature. So I really don't really like them as much. But it's crazy because the younger guys, they stage themselves as so super mature. And then you be like, oh, here go that little bit of immaturity there. That's what. And that was a thing too. And then like, the guys who are like around my age, we all on the same thing. We so focused on ourselves. It's very selfish.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah, I got you. Did I have to have money?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

[David (Interviewer)]

Did I have to give gifts?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

For sure. Because I'm a gift giver.

[David (Interviewer)]

So you need gifts. How soon do you need a gift?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm not. I don't have requirements on it. I'm not that girl.

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm just saying, when do you need. When do you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't have no requirements.

[David (Interviewer)]

When do you think gifts should come?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

On my birthday, for sure. I'm not a girl like that, though. I'm not sitting here every time you come to my house. I need this.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm not that girl.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. If you live with a guy, are you expecting to pay all of the rent?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I want him to be able to. Okay, I'm not coming with. I don't have those expectations like that.

[David (Interviewer)]

Like going out to dinner.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Oh, he got to take. Yeah, he'll take it. But see, there's times where I take the tab. Okay, there's sometimes where I'll be like, I'll go to the bathroom, like, here, pay for this app. And they'll be like, all right, so you guys done? And they'll be like, wait, where the bill at? That I always already taken care of, you know, I, like. I'm just a real. I'm not that girl. That's something. I'm not that girl. I'm just open.

[David (Interviewer)]

Do you have to travel?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

When we want to. It's not unnecessary. It's not necessary.

[David (Interviewer)]

All right, last question. Faith, religion, conversation.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah.

[David (Interviewer)]

Where are we at?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's a mandatory thing. I told you. Got to believe in Jesus. I told you, you got to be wholesome and believe in Jesus.

[David (Interviewer)]

Some of the people that believe in Jesus have been the worst human beings I've ever met in life.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. Some of them didn't believe in Jesus. Name were the worst human beings I've met in life, too, so.

[David (Interviewer)]

But you're saying that's one of the requirements.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah, because I pray, I talk. I'm very open about my faith. I read the Bible. I'm. I'm one of those that call you like. I just read this verse, and it's just really taking me back. So if you can't sit there and deal with that or dissect certain things or, you know, my family, we're in. That entire family is in the church. It's like bishops, big bishops. I can't be with somebody who does not have that in the root.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's our. At least the foundation.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

As I said, wholesome and believe in Jesus.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. All right, cool.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

After that, we can build.

[David (Interviewer)]

All right. This is a very eventful conversation.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

This is a tough interview. Like I already thought.

[David (Interviewer)]

No, you did good, though.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You did terrible.

[David (Interviewer)]

You did not back up. I did terrible.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. We talked about the aggression. We talked about this before.

[David (Interviewer)]

Was that aggressive?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. Where Donnie at? She should have heard you. And then that one time did you say, you know what? You right. You tried to figure out what was wrong with me and not what was right about me.

[David (Interviewer)]

I did identify what was right with you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You didn't even ask me, what qualities do I bring to a relationship.

[David (Interviewer)]

I know you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You don't know me.

[David (Interviewer)]

Based on this conversation, I know you

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

have no idea who I am.

[David (Interviewer)]

I think you're a giver. I think you care. I think you. You are going to show appreciation to the person because these are the things that you require for someone to do for you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I respect them for who they are and what they want. Come rub their head. That's why you ain't got no hair. You been stressed out. Go ahead and rub that ahead.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay. So give me the quality. Give me your. Your qualities that you bring to the table.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

The qualities I bring, I'm loving. I pay attention. I cater to the needs of that person. I make sure that I anticipate those as well. I make sure that I stay in my place. I make sure I cook. Yes, I do. No, big time, actually. They put me in higher places to make sure I stay, get everybody else right. They appreciate me for who I am. I stay in my place. And I could, I definitely help them accomplish their biggest and wildest dreams. That's one of my very first things that I do.

[David (Interviewer)]

Just for clarity, you said some of the stuff I said about you already, just in different words. And you just added some verbiage.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Men and women, different verbiage. I just wanted to hear that part. I gave you what you wanted. I answered all your questions the way you need it. I just needed to hear that part. That was it here.

[David (Interviewer)]

What part?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

You saying that I was right about certain things and letting me tell you who I was.

[David (Interviewer)]

You know, you're always right about your perspective.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I don't know. The way you be doing these interviews, David, you be chopping them up. I just studied it because the way

[David (Interviewer)]

you chopping it up, aggressive and on defense. Actually, today, Today my goal was to, like, highlight the person, but you came in too hot.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

And I was like, oh, we had to prep out there first, though. We already knew he was aggressive. You came there eating a salad, talking about, they say I'm aggressive. Okay, cool. So now I gotta be a little bit more, like, cautious. But my defense, I didn't.

[David (Interviewer)]

I didn't attack you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Not necessarily. Your questions are very interesting, though, the way you phrase them. Yeah, it's very. That's why I said. That's why you said kick it. Hold on, wait. Let's. Let's figure out what you mean.

[David (Interviewer)]

I'm just saying kick it. Like, when I met my wife, we kicked it. Like, we just hang out.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I just wanted to know what you meant so I could answer the question properly so that you didn't go back. You didn't go back and say. You would go back and say. You just said this. Now you're saying I didn't want to. I wanted to answer it.

[David (Interviewer)]

Let me give you this real quick. I think you are going to be a great catch. I. I honestly do. I think you're going to be a great catch. And any guy that you meet is going to be blessed to have you. And they should go into the mirror and make sure they don't ruin it. Because I think you are genuinely a loving person and a good woman. By. By the definition of a good woman, I think you are that you have some ways about yourself that could repel a really good man. But that's going to be somebody that's going to have to deal with the 20%. But I think 80% you got. Got it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Thank you so much. That means a lot coming from you. Yeah, that means a whole lot coming for you. I appreciate it.

[David (Interviewer)]

And I. I genuinely. I genuinely, genuinely believe that. I'm not just saying that it's. But I think you know about your 20%. I think you know, but you have to be careful because you've been through so many negative relationships. You can quickly ruin that. You could quickly ruin a. A really good person.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I might run away before I ruin it now. And I think that's the thing now that's worse to me, If I'm being 100.

[David (Interviewer)]

Honest. When I met my wife, I met my wife on Tinder, on Social.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Wait, what? I never knew this.

[David (Interviewer)]

Met her on Tinder, and we started talking, and not too long after, six to eight months later, I. I proposed to her. We got married.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

How old were you, though?

[David (Interviewer)]

I was 33. Eight years ago. 33. I was 33. Yeah. But a driving factor was I knew she had all the stuff that I liked. She was just a good woman. We've had enough conversations, and I'm a really good judge of character, and I can see through people. I can see what you're hiding every time. And I was afraid that my. That I would kick in and somehow ruin this relationship, because that's how. That's what I do. I meet a good person, we together for a while, I start nitpicking, and then those. The things I'm nitpicking get really, really big. And it's a justifiable reason for me to leave, but because this one was different. She had all the stuff I like. So I was like, yo, let's get married.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Let's lock it in so it's no turning back.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah. It wasn't even 100% for her. It was for you. For me?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's deep.

[David (Interviewer)]

Mm. So just get married quick.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

I'm. Bring somebody to you and be like, david, can we have your blessing?

[David (Interviewer)]

Sit him in the seat.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Yeah. And I want to sit right there.

[David (Interviewer)]

We will get to the Root. We'll find. You'll start.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

He's going to be watching this. Come to the Root.

[David (Interviewer)]

They'll start stutter stepping and backtracking. And you let. You let me know the degree. Do you want, like, mild ways? Medium or spicy? If you want spicy, let me know. You know, we'll get them. We'll find out how they really operate. So, all right, let everybody know how they can contact you and what they need to say in your dm.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Don't say anything in my dm. My name is K. If you need a billboard, you can say that in my dm and that's it.

[David (Interviewer)]

That's a way in.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

That's not a way in. My team deal with them. I don't talk to them.

[David (Interviewer)]

How is somebody gonna get at you, man?

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

They can, they can meet me at one of these events I'm at.

[David (Interviewer)]

Yeah. Can you just. For the sake of this interview, maybe like a couple weeks after this interview drops, just reply to your DMs. If, if, if it might be a good brother in the comments, said, hey, I saw the interview and I, I would love to get a chance to get to know you.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

Get him a code word.

[David (Interviewer)]

Code word, code word. 80, 20. So listen, if you, if you see this interview, like, go to her DM and just put 80 20. She'll know exactly what that means. You're interested. Then she go to your page, make sure your last picture is you smiling because she need to see. Make sure the teeth. Right. If you're attractive, she might hit the. If she hit the hearts, don't go in aggressive. Okay. If she hit the hearts, you would follow. Would you follow if they.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

No, no. I don't like to follow the guys I talk to.

[David (Interviewer)]

Okay, so if she hit the hearts, just go down her joint heart a bunch. That's a quick little flirt. Give it a couple weeks of social media engagement and then maybe laugh at a story. So I'm like, you know what I mean? Like, come on, play the game. Don't get too aggressive because she's going to run. Don't get too aggressive, but just, just walk it.

[Kaysaidit (Interviewee)]

All right, so follow my Instagram. K said it. K A Y S A I D I T. There we go. Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H VAC on its last leg. If you wait until, until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering, and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

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