119: Camp Counselor with Bert Kreischer | Soder Podcast | EP 117

Summary

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Soder Podcast Ep. 119: "Camp Counselor" with Bert Kreischer

Host: Dan Soder
Guest: Bert Kreischer
Release Date: February 3, 2026

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Overview

This episode features comedian Bert Kreischer joining Dan Soder for a candid, hilarious, and deeply insightful conversation about stand-up comedy’s evolution, burnout, luck versus hard work in showbiz, and wild stories from the road. The pair cover everything from owning their career choices, the costs of relentless content creation, nostalgia for summer camp, to honest reflections on personal health, family, and the hidden demands of comedy fame—all peppered with trademark ball-busting and storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Red Rocks & Comedy Milestones

• Bert's Red Rocks Shows:

  • Bert shares that his most recent Red Rocks performance was his favorite, as he had more prepared material and a stronger hour compared to past appearances, which often coincided with the start of tour routing and less-polished sets.

    "The last one was my favorite because I had more material prepared... my hour was further along." – Bert (02:28)

• Dan’s Childhood at Red Rocks:

  • Dan recalls going to Easter sunrise services as a kid, hating the early wake-ups and cold weather, adding, “But little me is like, yo, this shit sucks.” (03:10)

• Hanging or Leaving Fast:

  • Bert recounts how some acts (like Sebastian Maniscalco) would immediately leave after performing, but Bert loves to hang out, even if it means staying until late at night to soak in the moment.

• Meeting Jimmy Buffett:

  • Bert and Dan both riff on their Jimmy Buffett heroes:

    “If you could give a brand to me, I would love that Jimmy Buffett brand... it’s not who I am, really.” – Bert (04:36)

2. Licensing Stories & Margaritaville

• A Comedic Licensing Saga:

  • Dan tells the detailed story about trying to license "Margaritaville" for his HBO special as a tribute to his late father, only to be turned down because Jimmy Buffett didn't want his song associated with alcoholism:

    “I just watched this bit. Absolutely not. Jimmy doesn't want to be associated with alcoholism. And I went, motherfucker! ...You're the Pied Piper of cirrhosis.” – Dan (08:42)

• Audiences learn about the real costs ($150,000 for a song), and how comics' personal stories intersect with the business.

3. Comedy Specials & the Era of Content Overload

• Explosion of Specials:

  • The hosts reflect on the rapid escalation of comedy specials—from years with only a handful released to today's abundance.

    “When I did Secret Time, Netflix put out, I think, 40 specials... and that was a lot.” – Bert (11:28)

• Advice to Young Comics:

  • Both urge newer comics to "hold it"—don’t rush taping specials until material is truly great:

    “Let it get really, really good. That’s the problem...” – Bert (12:03)

  • They admit to regretting earlier specials that didn’t reflect their best (Dan: "I regret doing anything except the HBO special and my YouTube one that we put out in 2024." – 12:38).

• Value of Peer Recognition:

  • Bert emphasizes, “You want other comics to be talking about how good you’re getting... hold off on your special if you don’t have that.” (13:07)

4. Money, Podcasting, and the Burnout Machine

• Ad Money & Relentless Schedule:

  • Bert breaks down how the shift in podcast revenue structures led comics into never-ending content creation, often at the expense of quality or sanity:

    “In order to do ad sales, you have to commit to every single week... if you’re a fucking idiot and you decided to have three podcasts...” – Bert (16:13)

• Burnout and Taking Breaks:

  • Both reveal taking forced and voluntary breaks (esp. during Covid) saved them from professional and creative exhaustion. Bert credits his wife for forcing him to step back:

    “Leanne made me take a year and a half off stand up.” – Bert (21:19)

• Repetitive Material & Format Creep:

  • Discussion of how content volume leads to formulaic material or loss of joy.

5. Crowd Work, Online Clips & Staying in Your Lane

• The Crowd Work Boom:
  • Nuanced takes on the crowd work explosion, praising talents like Big Jay, Stavros, Norman, Sam Morril, while noting that constant content chasing strains creativity:

    "They're in this race to put out a clip a day." – Dan (21:02)

6. Personal Health, Death Fears & Living Large

• Bert’s Health Scares:

  • Both openly share fears around dying young, family impact, and the public’s merciless reaction to a performer's death:

    "My fear is that they’re gonna go, your liver failed. And then everyone goes, well, you saw that coming.” – Bert (33:24)

• Dying with Dignity:

  • The guys riff on how they'd ideally like to go out—heroically, with Bert quipping:

    “Rescuing kids... but someone's filming it. I need it filmed.” – Bert (31:56)

7. Luck, Merit, and Showbiz Mythology

• The Role of Luck:

  • Bert tells the infamous "Kevin Hart's lucky" take, digging into candid conversations about how nearly every comic's breakthrough traces back to a single, often lucky, moment—whether viral stories, infamous altercations, or simple right-place-right-time situations:

    “Every comic has one lucky moment in life that changes their life...” – Bert (38:54)

• Humility in Success:

  • The need for successful comics to acknowledge luck to avoid arrogance:

    “It’s important... to show humility so they don’t think they’re bigger than their success.” – Dan (40:27)

8. Comedy Community, Mentors and Tribes

• Community Bonds:

  • Both cite their love of the comedy “tribe,” fondly remembering road stories, green-room hangs, New York’s vibrant scene, and the generational connection between comics:

    “It's all come back down to middle school and getting girls. If you don’t want them, they want you.” – Dan (51:13)

• Podcasting Shift:

  • Honest talk about how podcasting “feels different” now—less genuine, more transactional, as success brings changed dynamics and higher stakes:

    “Now when you bring someone to that house... people come in the first thing, they’re like, how did you get this?” – Bert (54:36)

• Camp Counselor Energy:

  • Dan pitches Bert as the archetype of ultimate camp counselor, referencing Bert’s Pied Piper charisma and love of building “camp” energy on tours and sets (56:52–63:51).

    “You would be the greatest camp counselor of all time.” – Dan (56:52)

9. Arenas, Theaters, and The Climb

• Different Stages, Different Rewards:

  • Insights into how comics appreciate varied venues, the unique stresses of arenas, and why sometimes stepping “down” to theaters delivers better work and more fun.

    “Arenas are so easy... but after doing the theaters... my act needs theaters.” – Bert (86:15)

• Soaking it In:

  • Both stress gratitude and savoring career moments over chasing perpetual “nexts.”

    “What’s next? Look what you’ve got to do... and enjoy that.” – Dan (85:00)

10. Anecdotes, Relationships & Inside Baseball

• Elevator with the Broncos:

  • Dan tells a hilarious, vividly-detailed story about accidentally getting high with an NFL coach’s son and sharing an awkward elevator ride with Shannon Sharpe—who totally knew he was stoned (47:00–49:00).

• Comedic Tribal Knowledge:

  • Discussion of comics’ tendency to critique and “have notes” on each other’s work, reinforcing a fiercely competitive—but loving—environment.

• Career Crossroads:

  • Dan credits Bert and Bill Burr’s advice for helping him leave his comfort zone (The Bonfire radio show) and focus on stand-up.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On creative output & quality:
  “You want other comics to be talking about how good you’re getting... hold off on your special if you don’t have that.”
  —Bert Kreischer (13:07)

• On burnout & money:
  “In order to do ad sales, you have to commit to every single week... if you’re a fucking idiot and you decided to have three podcasts...”
  —Bert Kreischer (16:13)

• On luck & humility:
  “Every comic has one lucky moment in life that changes their life... If you don’t acknowledge your luck...”—Bert Kreischer (38:54)

• On content overload:
  “The art of going away is gone.”
  —Dan Soder (13:32)

• On camp counselor life:
  “I like being a Pied Piper... I like being the momentum.”
  —Bert Kreischer (57:48)

• On peak moments:
  “What’s next? Look what you’ve got to do... and enjoy that.”
  —Dan Soder (85:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | | --------- | -------------- | | 02:11 | Red Rocks shows & comedy milestones | | 04:49 | Margaritaville licensing story | | 11:03 | Evolution of comedy specials | | 13:07 | Peer validation & advice for young comics | | 16:13 | Podcast money & burnout | | 21:14 | Taking a break and refreshing material | | 38:54 | Luck in comedy careers | | 47:00 | Dan’s elevator story with Shannon Sharpe | | 54:36 | Podcasting's change and authenticity | | 56:52 | Bert’s camp counselor, Pied Piper energy | | 62:09 | Family bonds—comics as uncles | | 72:11 | Bert & Dan’s mutual admiration (Sherpa analogy) | | 85:00 | Reflecting on success and savoring moments | | 86:15 | Clubs vs. theaters vs. arenas |

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Overall Tone & Style

The episode stays true to Dan and Bert's styles—irreverent, raucous, vulnerable but never saccharine. Their chemistry delivers as both comics and friends: trading war wounds, nostalgia, advice for up-and-comers, and a hilarious parade of inside-baseball (and inside-barbecue) stories. The conversation is loose yet rich with hard-earned wisdom, with moments of both bravado and honest questioning about what really matters in a comedy life.

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[Dan Soder]

Hey everybody, thanks for watching the podcast. I'm going to Orlando February 13th. I'm going to Tampa February 14th. That's Valentine's Day. And then February 28th coming to Buffalo, New York danceoder.com for those tickets. Go get tickets now. There are seats left, but a few seats left. Also, if you live in Boston, we added a Late show dan soder.com for those tickets. Man. I'm very excited to get back on the road. See you soon. See you very soon. Thanks for watching the podcast. Thanks for following along even if you're hate watching this. Hey thanks for hating. I love you too.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's crazy is out of all the red rock shows I've done and there.

[Dan Soder]

Have been did four.

[Bert Kreischer]

Four. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

That's sick dude. I know four red rock shows is someone that grew up in Colorado. Yeah, it's sick.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's the last one was my favorite cuz I didn't.

[Dan Soder]

That was this year, right?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was my favorite because I, I think I had, I had more material prepared.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I, and I had, I had. My hour was further along.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Every other time I feel like my hour just started and I did Red Rocks. It was, it's always at the beginning of routing. Routing always starts in September. August, September. And I'd always. Because of the, the weather, you got to do it September, October.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Because I used to go there for Easter service. Like you could go to Red Rocks and watch the sunrise and they do Easter service. My mom was raised Catholic, so that was like her thing that she wanted to do. Hated it as a child because you have to wake up at like 4 in the morning.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. To get to Red Rocks.

[Dan Soder]

To get to Red Rocks from Aurora and then sit in the freezing cold and then they're just talking about Jesus while the sun comes up. And, and all these old people that have done drugs and fucked without condoms are going like, oh, a new day rises. But little me is like, yo, this shit sucks. So going back with you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, that was okay. So out of all my Red Rocks appearances, I have moments that I never forget. Right. So the first one was they said, hey, are you going to be like Sebastian or do you want to hang out? I was like, what? And like Sebastian does Red Rocks and he just leaves.

[Dan Soder]

Like I take a jet pack out of there.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, well, because. Because you either, you either get off stage, they escort you to a car and you leave before the fans.

[Dan Soder]

Well, cuz the, the. For people that have never been to Red Rocks, Colorado, getting there is a, It's a switchback.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You just got to keep going back and forth because you're going up a, a small little mountain. I don't even know if you call it a mountain.

[Bert Kreischer]

And they're like. Or you can stay, which is such.

[Dan Soder]

A cool venue to hang, but you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Got to hang out until like one in the morning. And I was like, oh, I'm hanging.

[Dan Soder]

And do you know who I am?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And oh, hey, that night I went out to the stage by myself. I did Red Rocks for the first time. I had a vodka soda and a big glass and I had a joint and I just sat out there by myself on the stage and I was like. It was like. It was like, I can't believe I achieved this then.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

The next year was with Norman and Gillis.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And we stayed. That first one was for Jimmy Buffett. Jimmy Buffett was. And I met Jimmy Buffett. Talked to Jimmy Buffett.

[Dan Soder]

He is a Florida guy too.

[Bert Kreischer]

100%. Like, one of my heroes. One of my heroes. I like, if you talk branding, like, like of comedy, like, if. If you could give a brand to me, I would love that Jimmy Buffett brand of, like, beach, chill, relax, boats. Like, that's my thing. It's not who I am, really.

[Dan Soder]

Do you know my Jimmy Buffett story?

[Bert Kreischer]

No.

[Dan Soder]

I could tell it now because he's dead. There's no legal thing. When I did my HBO special, I had a long joke about my dad died of alcoholism, but he was a Jimmy Buffett fan, so it was fun. That was. The whole point, was like, my dad died of drinking, but he's a parrot head, so it was a fucking blast. So I can't cry about it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So I had a whole joke, and the joke was like, I had a joke about my friends losing their parents in 9 11. And, like, it was a joke about Pete Davidson's dad, about his dad was a firefighter, and he was like, I need to save those people. And my dad's last words were, I like mine with little Santa Ma. So I did this cipher sounds was DJing my taping at the Bowery Ballroom. This is 2019 for my HBO special. At the end of my set, he's just DJing. I didn't tell Cypher to do anything. I was like, you're one of the greatest DJs of all time. You just let it rip. He finishes the first show, and he hits Margaritaville. As I'm going off stage, my mom. Everybody that I know but my mom, especially when I saw her, she was like, you have to close with Margaritaville.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

She was like, the way it hits after that joke, it's such, like. It's an extra punchline. Yeah. It's like the joke hit. So I was like, yeah, you're right. So I asked hbo. I was like, I would love Margaritaville. And they.

[Bert Kreischer]

Is this on the special that you shot at the Trocadero?

[Dan Soder]

No, that was Comedy Central.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

This was at the One at the Bowery Ballroom for hbo. And so I asked him, I go, can you get Margaritaville? And they were like, no, it's $150,000 to license that song. And I was like, okay, we're not doing Margaritaville. I go to Town. Nate. We was doing Town. This is how long ago it was. Nate was doing Town Hall. The guys one show.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Nate's doing Six on the Moon next month. They're. They're cratering out the moon. So Nate can do. Nate goes, I never done it in Zero gravity. But I know cussing doesn't go well up here, so I go to town. Actually, you know what's funny? Nate was doing to a town hall. He was doing two. Everyone else does one. Nate was doing two. And I went and was just hanging out. Katie and I are hanging out with Nate backstage, and I tell him he's asked me about the HBO special. And he goes, you got it locked. And I was like, yeah, we're trying to get Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville, but cost too much. And then Nate, you know, and this. I've watched it with you. When your friends get famous, they're all of a sudden friends with people that you didn't think. Like Shane's friends with Christian McCaffrey in a way that I go, I'm nervous about this playoff game. He goes, oh, I just played checkers against him this morning while he was on the training table. And you. That's an insane. I never thought I would even be that close. So Nate went, oh, I'm friends with Jimmy Buffett's like, one of his best friends. Do you want me to ask him? And I was like, that would be incredible. He's like, great. And sometimes those situations, you go, they're never going to reach back out. Nate reaches out and he's like, hey, buddy, guy wants to send this guy an email and send him the clip of the joke from the special, and he's going to send it to Jimmy. And I was like, this is incredible. So I. I full on book report voice. I write an email. It's like, Mr. Buffett, I've grown up hanging out in bars and listening to your music. Mr. Buffet, you are delicious. I would like another spoonful, please. But I wrote this, like, article, this. This email about how me and my dad would listen to his music while we were going to open the liquor store that my dad worked at or when he was bartending. Jimmy Buffett was always on. And then I send the clip, and then Nate. This is how funny Nate is. Nate goes, I'm just gonna send you the texts I got. And Nate sends one text that's pretty small. And it's like, hey, man, just read this guy's email. What a beautiful story. I love this connection he has to Jimmy through his dad. Let me ask Jimmy, maybe there's a chance we can get this to work. And then there's a huge long text, and he goes, I just watched this bit. Absolutely not. There is no way. Jimmy doesn't want to be associated with alcoholism. And I went, motherfucker. You're going to be out here selling your own fucking tequila and all this shit, and then you go, but, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Drink responsibly. And you go, come on, dude. Yeah, I wanted him at least to go, hey, I can't.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know. Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But I don't want him to go, oh, I have nothing to do with that. And you're, like. It was. You're the pied Piper of cirrhosis.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's. He was the guy. I mean, he was the guy. He was the guy.

[Dan Soder]

Big J and I, we first started the bonfire. We went to a Huey Lewis in the news opening for Jimmy Buffett. I'm a huge Huey Lewis in the news guy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Everyone should be.

[Dan Soder]

Everyone should be. Listen to sports, the album.

[Bert Kreischer]

Listen to American Psycho.

[Dan Soder]

Listen. I mean, front to back, sports is an unbeatable album. Deroza and I have argued against people.

[Bert Kreischer]

There's. There's so many facts about Huey Lewis that I have learned over the years that I'm not remembering.

[Dan Soder]

Do you know about his giant penis?

[Bert Kreischer]

There we go.

[Dan Soder]

Okay, well. And I'm with Jay, the penis whisperer.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And we're at the show, and we know this. We talked about it on the bonfire. We brought up the clip of the woman on Stern saying that he had the biggest penis she had ever been with. We're on stage. We saw it through his jeans. Big J. It was like. It was like one of those things where Jay's hitting me, and he goes, dude, dude. He goes left, and you just see it sitting there, and you're like, daddy's. Can I tell you what it made me go? I don't. No one would want to dick that big.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, no, no, no, no. Can we just. Can we. Can we take a step back and go. I want to go back to a world where Jimmy Buffett and Hughes and Lewis in the news were our icons.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, his life was simpler back then.

[Dan Soder]

It was fun. It was like throwing sunglasses and go, the weekend's here.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And every uncle personality. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

That's our holy trio.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Jimmy and Garfield.

[Bert Kreischer]

Every. It was so easy. Life was so easy back then.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I think it's because we have too many media outlets, and I think we have too much coming at us to. And it's so much to like and then so much to hate. I was telling. I was telling someone the other day, they're like, do you think you'll ever do another. Or do you think you'll do another special after this one? And I was like, I don't know when I did Secret Time.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I remember. Can I tell you, this is how few specials there were back then. They sent me your special that you shot at the truck.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And they're like, soda shot his at the truck. There's only a couple places you could really shoot it. They're like, this is the stage he built out. And maybe that year there were, like, 75 specials released. When I released.

[Dan Soder]

I remember the year in 2016 when I put it out. Comedy Central put out seven specials total.

[Bert Kreischer]

Netflix put out. When I did Secret Time, Netflix put out, I think, 40 specials.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, 40.

[Bert Kreischer]

And that was a lot.

[Dan Soder]

That was. That was 2018. 2018. You put out Secret Time 20. I think you filmed it 2017. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, you're right.

[Dan Soder]

It truly is one of the only things. Yeah, I'm pretty good at.

[Bert Kreischer]

But now you look and you go. And. No, there's no. I'm not. I'm not saying, like. Like, oh, there's too many stores. What happened to mom and pop shops? I'm just saying, like, there's a lot of specials coming out, and it's. And I. I had a young comic on the bus. He's like, hey, man, I'm getting ready to shoot my special. What advice do you have? I go, don't shoot a special.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, hold it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, hold it, hold it. Let it get really, really good. Yeah, like, let it get really, really, really good. Yeah, like, that's the problem. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be very honest and say I put out from 2018.

[Dan Soder]

Sure. To.

[Bert Kreischer]

To 20. 24, 25. Put out, like, six specials.

[Dan Soder]

That's fucking. That's a lot of work.

[Bert Kreischer]

What do you think? I mean, like, Secret Time. Razzle dazzle. Hey, big boy. Lucky. And maybe five specials. Maybe one more.

[Dan Soder]

But that's in less than six years.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And they're. And I stand by them. They're all good.

[Dan Soder]

See, I would say I regret all of two specials.

[Bert Kreischer]

All of two specials.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I regret doing anything except the HBO special and my YouTube one that we put out in 2024.

[Bert Kreischer]

Phenomenal.

[Dan Soder]

Thanks. But those.

[Bert Kreischer]

Hang on. YouTube one was fucking phenomenal. And I. And I would say the reason it was phenomenal is you were on this tear where it was like, you want. I'm saying this to younger comics. You want other comics to be talking about how good you're getting? Like, that is like. The thing is, like, I remember hearing Ari, of all people.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Whispering to someone about me.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I remember hearing it, overhearing it and going. And by the way, I think. I mean, in that group was like a wild group of comics. And he was like, no, if you're having a problem with stories, you should go to Bert. Bert is one of the best storytellers.

[Dan Soder]

I've heard Ari say that directly himself.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And so. But you want that. And if you. If people aren't saying that about you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Hold off on your special. Yeah. And by the way, I gotta be honest with you, people haven't said that about me in a while.

[Dan Soder]

Well, you know what's funny about that is because I think we're in this different realm now where if you aren't putting out stuff consistently, people forget about you. And that. And what sucks about that is it's crazy you're bringing this up, because I had this exact fucking feeling this morning while I'm looking at my phone taking a dump. And I was like, oh, yeah, if you. The art of going away is gone. How excited. Like, when you announced. When you announced your show, I knew you were filming it because we had been texting in Atlanta, so I knew it was going on. Also. You were on social media.

[Bert Kreischer]

I was trying to get you on as the. I remember, as the guy.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah. And then we were. We. We were texting about it, and then I knew you rapped or whatever, but then it kind of went away, the excitement. I was. When you were like, shows coming out and you go like, oh, yeah, it's so fun. I think what has happened is behind the scenes has became front of this, like, everyone.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay. This is a brilliant conversation.

[Dan Soder]

Well, so.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, because. Okay, so here's what happened. Money got in the pro. In the way of everything.

[Dan Soder]

Sure. So because money went directly to us. Now the in the middle aren't holding on to it. They're not holding back.

[Bert Kreischer]

They used to tell us when we got up, put on timeout. I remember Rogan called me. I got offered the man show. They said, hey, we do the man show. The people that own the rights, they were read.

[Dan Soder]

I remember when they were rethinking about after the Stanhope Rogan one.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

This was like 2015. Yeah, 2016.

[Bert Kreischer]

Maybe even earlier than that.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I got a call from. I got a call from Rogan, and he goes, hey, don't do it. And I said, why? He goes, it's not going to be good. It's never going to be as good as Jimmy and Adam. That's the truth.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he goes, stanhope. And I tried. And you'll get put on TV Timeout. Those were his exact words. And I was like, TV timeout. And he goes, I've. I was on TV timeout for a while after that, and I was like, that's crazy. But the. And then. And then what happened is. I'll tell you specifically from my perspective.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

I did Travel Channel for all this time. I got maybe $7,000 an episode, I think. I don't remember, really. I've never paid attention to money that way, but, like, I'm making good money.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I had to travel for two weeks to make $14,000 to do two episodes. My first ad sales moment, I had $1,500 a read, and I did five reads. And I remember doing the five reads, putting them in the episode. I edited it, I put it in. And in all my wait, I just sat with a friend, with Joey Diaz, and I just made more money than I'm making on Travel Channel because I'm not paying agents, managers. And then all of a sudden, the money numbers came into me, and I went, whoa. Now, here's where it gets complicated. In order to do ad sales, you have to commit to every single week. You have to do an episode every week.

[Dan Soder]

That's how buyers buy, and they also buy it, and they throw that number at you. And this is, you know, behind the scenes of podcasting. You'll see where they go, we need 54 episodes. And you go, oh, it looks. It's a lot.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's a lot.

[Dan Soder]

Because, you know, those. That's weeks. Those are weeks. Now, granted, it's. You're hanging out with your friend, and you're filming it, but when people wonder why shit's getting stale right now, it's because.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's because we're. We are forced to put out something every week. And if you're like me and you're a fucking idiot, and you decided to have three podcasts.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

You're like, I got a cooking show, a birdcast, and two bears. Then all of a sudden, by the time I get to. To. I'm like, did I. Did I tell you about. Have I told? And you're like, what the fuck am I talking about?

[Dan Soder]

I fucking. And then he goes, you told me that story an hour ago. And you go, my brain's fucking fried.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then you have to say. And you have to say. And I know. Everyone goes, the big thing you hear is people go, how much money do you need?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, then you really have to ask yourself, how much money do I need? And do. Do I want this podcast to be good, or do I want to make money off of it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And, and, and, and then that's the same thing. And I'm, by the way, I don't want to ever sound like the guy. I never want to talk negative about comedy in general or anything going on in comedy because you forget how quickly those are your friends doing it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, like, like I said something shitty about political comedy. Guys are doing politics comedy or whatever.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then I see Steve Byrne doing great political comedy. I'm like, oh, never mind. Why would I say that out loud?

[Dan Soder]

Right. Well, it's also like, I've shit on crowd work and.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, let's talk about crowd work.

[Dan Soder]

But then I watch Big J's Special.

[Bert Kreischer]

Amazing. And I go, oh, Stavi, amazing. Norman, amazing. Sam Morrell, amazing. Nate Jackson, incredible.

[Dan Soder]

And then there are people that are just like, the way Stavi does it, you go, oh, this is fun. I don't do that. I can't do that. And that's okay. I think there's also, I think what happened when all the money came in is we all got mushed into the same ball. And so now you go, I'm competing with this guy. When, you know, you don't do the same thing as nothing, so it drives you crazy. Hey, everybody, if you're listening to this, you know I love Zoc Doc. Why? Because I worry too much about what's going on with my own body and I need a professional, I need an adult to tell me it's all right. Also, sometimes you just have something happen and you're like, damn, I don't have a doctor for that. Well, ZocDoc free app and a website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors. So you can find someone you love or someone that you need something, a specific problem. I promise you, if you, if you have a problem, we're talking about specialists and in. If you got insurance in network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states. If you're looking for dermatology, dentistry, primary care, eye care, any of the 200 specialties offered on Zocdoc, you can easily search by specialty or symptom to build the care team that's right for you. You know this. I've been using this since before podcasts were a thing. Stop putting off doctor's appointments. Go to ZocDoc.com Soder to find and instantly book a doctor that you love today. That's Zoc Doc Doc.com Soder ZocDoc.com Soder thanks ZocDoc for sponsoring this message. Support for today's episode comes from Square. The system powering a lot of places you do business. You've heard me talk about it before, but I think if you run a small business, that's one of the scariest things in the world. I have no idea how you even start it. And if you're following through on that, screw talking to people on stage, that's way scarier because you're like, you have to find out about permits and taxes and all that stuff. But you can make it a little easier by using Square. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running a design studio, Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground. And right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com go/soder. That's sq u a r e.com go/soder. Visit Square to get started because the right tools make all the difference. You're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools. Square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com go soder. That's sq u a r e.com go/soder. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah. And. And what happened with the crowd work kids is. And I just clumped them all in together is because it's. There's a ton and just.

[Dan Soder]

They're just hear her licking her ass. Sorry, I had to hit my dog.

[Bert Kreischer]

Katie, stop.

[Dan Soder]

Someone's got to do it.

[Bert Kreischer]

What happened is they, they're in this race to put out a clip a day.

[Dan Soder]

That's where, that's. I think where we're starting to see the burnout is I, I'm one of the only people that'll say Covid probably saved me because I was burning out.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I've watched you hit the brakes in a way in the past couple years where I go, smart. He's doing it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Leanne made me take a year and a half off a stand up. Yeah, it took one. Because here's the deal. And this is really inside baseball. But you can watch the structure of my specials and see that the structure while be it the story's different, the structure is somewhat similar. I got a crazy Isla story.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I got a sex story about Leanne. I got a black guy interaction. I got like, it's my thing, you.

[Dan Soder]

Know, when it happens in real life, you go, I just got my black guy interaction. Black Guy goes.

[Bert Kreischer]

All I have are black guy interactions right now. I have so many that are so fucking good that I might call this next special Black Guys Please.

[Dan Soder]

Call it Black Eye interaction, bgi.

[Bert Kreischer]

But I took a year and a half off stand up because I felt like as I was doing Lucky. Thank God I did six shows.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Because had I done.

[Dan Soder]

I remember that when you filmed it. That was when you filmed it in Tampa.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Had I done four shows, I. It would have been the same as all my specials.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

But I did six shows. In the last two shows, I changed it up. I told the story about putting down Priscilla, which I never was going to tell.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Which was a great story. And I was on the road with you for Fully Loaded and you were thinking about doing that. That was like, way before you filmed the special. And I remember you had, like, trepidation of like, it's a sad ass story. And you're like, yeah, but that's a good thing about storytellers is they can pull you down and then bring you back up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Well, when I look at, like, taking time off and thank God, Wait, I did it. I didn't do it for stand up. I did a little bit for stand up, but I did it because the girls went to college and Leanne and I needed to hang out together. We never lived in the same house together. Like, just us.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I remember talking to Rogan about it and being like. I'm like, I feel like I need a reset do. Thank God I did that, because I'm looking at this new hour going like. And I got the opportunity. And I think this. I think you can do too many things at one time.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's.

[Bert Kreischer]

Do you remember my brain during Fully Loaded when I'm like, promoting, trying to check ticket sales? I remember all coming in. I got first rule.

[Dan Soder]

What I remember specifically is before you guys launched Porosos, you guys, I remember waking up on the tour bus and we had been up to like, three smoking weed, watching YouTube videos. Me and Jay were showing you Butterscotch Swirl. We were showing you all our favorite videos. It was. So we were watching the live feed of Kensington in Philly. We were watching, like, people legitimately. You were DMing a trap rapper.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

About. About where you were like, yo, dude, I'm watching you and Jenna, like, yeah, Jay's daughter. When we told Isabella that she was like, yo, he's like an actual drug dealer. And then Bert goes, oh, I deleted all those dms, but I woke up to piss on the tour. Bus. And you had your readers on going over, like, fucking graphs and shit on the phone with Tom. You were going like, all right, well. And then I was like, I remember grabbing. It was one of those things where you're like, I'm not hungover because I don't drink anymore. But I was like, weed hungover. I was, like, a little confused. And I remember popping a zero sugar A and W and going, what are you doing? And you're like, I'm in the middle of a business meeting. And I drank. Aw. Just went back to the bed. I was like, this is fucking crazy.

[Bert Kreischer]

You can do too many things.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You were a guy where when I came home, I went, I'm very lazy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, but I'm lazy, too. I think I just got to the opportunity where I got to the place where opportunity was there, and I seized it as much as I could. And I was like, anything. Look, I'll stay awake. I'll push. I'll push. And the first canary in the mine was Birdcast was like. I started noticing that, like, views were down. And I was like. And I wasn't really that into it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was like. And I was only into it if a band showed up. And like everyone else, I would be like. Like, I did the one I. I mean, like, you're pretty important in my life in that. I. The one I did with you when I came in. And I was like, I'm not drinking, but I'll drink if you're gonna smoke, maybe I'll smoke. You're like, hey, maybe just smoke and see if you, like, know that you can drink if you want, but just smoke and see if you can smoke.

[Dan Soder]

That's fun as hell.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then we had one of the best podcasts, but that's where my head was with that. And then I started looking at everything going, so I need to take time off from stand up. I need to take. And then especially if you're gonna do a TV show, I was like, I need to take time off entirely and just focus on this TV show if I want it to be good.

[Dan Soder]

And I think you don't realize, and this is for people in the business or just anybody that likes comedy, I don't think you realize other guys are doing that. They're just not saying they're doing that.

[Bert Kreischer]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

Because I didn't know, you know, I would. I went down to. When Shane was doing season two attires, Katie and I would take the dog down there to his. To his farmhouse or whatever, and he'd be like, yeah, I'm just doing this. And I was like, good, because you. I think sometimes your friends can be strung out, and you don't know they're strung out. You think they're just working really hard and you go, oh. But I remember before COVID doing Billions bonfire standup, it was just. You're going it. I loved it. I loved doing all of it. I mean, I loved the bonfire. To call it a job is unfair. It wasn't a job. I got to hang out with one of the funniest human beings ever walked the planet. Billions was such a cool thing at first. That felt like a job. By season seven, that I went, I got to step away from this and stand up. So the reason that I think my YouTube special was so good was because I shut everything down. And then I'm just going to do stand up.

[Bert Kreischer]

But that was the word on the street. Like, everyone was like, dude, have you seen Dan stand up? And then everyone. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, I remember. I remember Joe telling me one time we were back, it was gotta be like, 2016, 17. 2016, 17. And he was like, you need a Netflix special. I was like, that's not how that works.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, okay. I should also get good at Brazilian Jiu jitsu. There's. I'm bow hunting.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was in the same conversation, by the way. He's like, you have a problem with confrontation. You need to be in a jiu jitsu.

[Dan Soder]

And I was like, okay, yeah, that. He really does feel like your uncle that comes in and checks you on shit. Where you go, I don't know. I'm afraid to do that. He goes, then get over it. Do the fear.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm terrified to tell them about my blood clots because I know. I know Joe so well. And it's. He's going to go from fun Joe to serious Joe.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And be like, hold on. How much testosterone did you get vaccinated? How many times did you have Covid? Like, there's a list of things that.

[Dan Soder]

Your reasons for blood clots more than your doctor. And you go, my doctor doesn't even have a questionnaire this big.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's like a. He's like a big brother that really, really gives a about you.

[Dan Soder]

Would you. When you found out about the blood clots, is that a moment where you go, what exactly caused it? Because whenever I have a health problem, I immediately go, I don't want to change my life. What caused this?

[Bert Kreischer]

No. So. So, okay, I'm going to take it one step Backwards to get there.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

So there's. Obviously. My lifestyle's out of control.

[Dan Soder]

I don't think people listen. You could follow Bird on social media. You can go to his shows, you can meet the man a couple times. You have no clue how this guy lives. It is impressive and to the point where you go, I think I have low T. I think I like. You look at him and you go, I think I. I think I have energy zapping where I'm not getting done because you, Brendan Sagalo, is about to go on the road with you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And he's on the road with me, and I love him to death. And I go, you're gonna do stuff with Bert. And he goes, what do you mean? I go, you do stuff with me? We wake up, we get a coffee, we smoke a joint, we walk around the town. And then I see you at the show, Bert. You're gonna like race cars. This is how I described Bert on the tour, and I meant this. You are if the little boy from Blank Check grew up.

[Bert Kreischer]

You are.

[Dan Soder]

Someone gave you a blank check, and they're like, go nuts. And you're like, we're going to rent Go Karts today. We would wake up on the bus and you go, we got a whole amusement park for us. And you're like, what the fuck is this?

[Bert Kreischer]

We took in finance. We were in Utah, and I was like, hey, get up. And Ian's like, why? I go, we're going VR flight suiting. It was so amazing.

[Dan Soder]

Insane.

[Bert Kreischer]

Put on the VR goggles, headsets, and you put on a flight suit, like a. Like a squirrel suit. And you jump out of the back of a plane and you fly. They have a fan. I mean, when they open the door of the plane, cold air hits your face, and you're like. And they're like, scoot over to the edge. And it is so real.

[Dan Soder]

You've done skydiving?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It's so fun. It's. You didn't like it?

[Bert Kreischer]

It's. It's the. I'm afraid of flying. Are you really? It is so terrifying.

[Dan Soder]

That's where the clots came from. The planes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Knew planes well. Okay, so good to go back.

[Dan Soder]

All right.

[Bert Kreischer]

So. I never want to skydiving.

[Dan Soder]

You're the person I want to talk skydiving with.

[Bert Kreischer]

I only think the people that enjoy skydiving are the people that really hate flying and are afraid of skydiving.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, I think it's. I have streaks of suicidal tendencies. So when I was skydiving, I went, if this is it, this is it.

[Bert Kreischer]

There's. Okay.

[Dan Soder]

So that I went like, all right, I'm going to go splat that moment.

[Bert Kreischer]

So if you're a control freak, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And you don't want to go skydiving. You're listening to this or your wife is. That's who needs to go skydiving. Because there is an epiphanous moment when you're screaming at the earth at what, 9.8ft per second.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And per second.

[Dan Soder]

Per second.

[Bert Kreischer]

For a second. Per second. And you realize the dice have been rolled.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, you can't take a medication. You can't stop drinking. You can't hold on. I'm going to change my lifestyle. No, no, no, no, no. You're either going to live it or going to die. And you can't pick which one it is. And you have to face that. You have to go like. And you either. You either fall apart or you let go. And in that moment, I let go. I went. I went, this is life, man.

[Dan Soder]

And you're just flying through. I will. You know what? I'm not proud of my two moments facing death. I got bitchy. I got like. When I got robbed at gunpoint and the guy had me hog tied, and he had. And he was like, literally putting the gun in my face. I got to the point where I was like, okay, like that kind of bitchy. And when I went skydiving, the guy fucked my harness up and pulled it too tight on my leg. So when he pulled the chute, I went, it's too tight. Like, he's going to change the harness while we're flying through the air. The two times I almost died, I'm like, can you help me about a little? That's where I'm like, if I'm almost dying, I'm gonna be kind of. I think I'm gonna be like, fine, but blood clots. Because I want to.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh. So, okay, so I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid of death, but more importantly, I'm afraid of being the cause of my own death. Like, that's why I kind of measure my lifestyle and I work out as hard as I do when I go to doctors.

[Dan Soder]

Do you have an ultimate way you would like to die quiet in your bed?

[Bert Kreischer]

Rescuing kids?

[Dan Soder]

That is a good one.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Fighting off an animal. Fighting off an animal. Like, I'm on a path and there's a bunch of kindergartener, and I'm walking past them and a bear is chasing them. And I go, you guys run. I'll take care of the bear. But there's. Someone's filming it. I need it filmed.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I need that content because I'm.

[Bert Kreischer]

Selling merch on my deathbed.

[Dan Soder]

I need somebody. I got the mic on. Hey, don't talk to me. I got a mic on right now. O it's cold out. Ooh, ooh, it's cold out. Maybe get some new jeans. Maybe you didn't get the jeans you wanted at Christmas. Maybe the jeans you got stink. Well, check out the perfect jean. I'm talking about jeans that fit perfectly and feel like sweatpants. They've redefined what jeans can be. No more crushing your nuts or sagging diaper butt. Pure soft, stretchy perfection. Perfect Jean has six fits, a size range from 26 to 50 inch waists and lengths up to 38 for you tall boys, giving you 5,000 plus ways to find your perfect match. For a limited time offer, our listeners get 15% off their first order plus free shipping at ThePerfectGene NYC or Google the Perfect Gene and use the code SODOR15 for 15% off. That's 15% off for new customers at the Perfect Gene NYC with promo code SODOR15. After the purchase, they're gonna ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. So there you go. Get out of those uncomfortable khakis and jeans. Get into the perfect.

[Bert Kreischer]

I can't. Like, like I. So I've always been cognizant of like my fear is that they're gonna go, your liver failed. And then, and then everyone goes, well, you saw that coming, you know, and there's no, like, there's no empathy for your death.

[Dan Soder]

That's how my, that's how my dad died. Yeah, my dad died in a way where my mom went. Could have called that. You're like, don't have your ex wife.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Don't have your ex wife saying to her boyfriend told you or the people.

[Bert Kreischer]

That hate you going, like, we saw that coming. Yeah, typical.

[Dan Soder]

Called it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Called it.

[Dan Soder]

It's like sports. That's like the worst part of sports is when your team loses in a bad way. And then one of the talking heads goes, I knew they were going to do that. And you go, fuck you. It still hurts.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's my, my, I have a fear of death. But I just, I've, I realized one day that my death is going to be hard on my girls. It's going to be really hard on them because as a comic, everyone's going to make fun of it for like a week.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So for my girls, they're going to have to literally disappear for like a month from society.

[Dan Soder]

Especially how you die.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, how I die. And so if I die rescuing kids, then they're like, dad went out.

[Dan Soder]

No, we got to do the. The Bert Kreischer benefit. And then I got to meet all the parents of the kids you saved. One kid with scars and no eye anymore. And I go, I know. Bert got. He goes, bert. Bert saved my life. And I go, oh, my God. And I gotta shake their weird hand. That was. That was bit off by a bear. And I gotta go. It was so. I'm so. He was a good guy. I gotta say that to all the people you saved. And he was a good man. He. Thank you. He was.

[Bert Kreischer]

You just want to be remembered fondly.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And you want people to miss you. Like, I'll tell you, this breaks my heart that this is gonna come out weird, but, like, no one really brings up Ralphie anymore. And, like, really sucks because Ralphie was.

[Dan Soder]

The man he was.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he was such a great comic and such a generous guy.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, I mean, I gotta be honest with you. And I don't know if this is real or not. Sometimes I talk out of my ass.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

Check out my Club Shay Shay interview where I call Kevin Hart Lucky.

[Dan Soder]

Did you hear from him?

[Bert Kreischer]

No. You didn't hear from him? I'm going to hear from him soon.

[Dan Soder]

I. I just heard, like, calling Kevin Hart Lucky. Listen, greedy is one thing.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, hold on.

[Dan Soder]

Lucky is not. You ready? Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay. I've been saying this for a long time.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

I know. This is going to get clipped out by the fucking miserable people online.

[Dan Soder]

Or we can edit it if you want.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, no, keep it in.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. There we go. That's. This is podcast consent. Yeah, I'm gonna leave it in.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, I already said it on Club Shay Shay. I'm gonna get fucked.

[Dan Soder]

Is it Club Shay? Shay came out. It came out, though.

[Bert Kreischer]

Came out Today or tomorrow? No, maybe the day. So anyway, don't you have anticipation? Oh, I'm terrified.

[Dan Soder]

Isn't your dick up in your body? I didn't know it didn't come out yet. He just gave me secondhand anxiety.

[Bert Kreischer]

He said to me, he goes, he's doing a great interview. It's such a great interview. Tell me about your dad. This and that. And then I'm like, I'm killing it. Will Smith. I tell my Will Smith story. I'm like, fucking murdering. And then he's like, you think Kevin Hart's lucky? And I was like, And I know what I said. I said it nine years ago on a podcast. And it's just lived, but it's okay. Kevin Hart. It was a period of time where Kevin Hart said, I'm the hardest working man in comedy, and a time where we're all working really hard and no one seems to be succeeding. And I read that as a like, dude, we're all busting our ass. It's like, acknowledge your luck. And I said that casually. And an agent goes, you know what Kevin Hart's luck is, right? I went, no. And they go, hold on, you didn't know about Kevin Hart's story? And I was like, no. And they're like, he's great and he's talented, but he was put on movie timeout after Soul Plane. And I was like, why not? And they go, that was his movie. And I was like, really? And they go, yes. Soul Plane was Kevin Hart's movie.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it didn't perform well. So he got put on movie timeout. He wasn't gonna make a movie for, like, another 10 years. And then they hired Cat Williams for Fool's Gold, which shot like a year later.

[Dan Soder]

And they go with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson.

[Bert Kreischer]

And they all. Cat. Nope. All cast, costumes bought, wardrobe bought. Everything's bought. Cat Williams packs a gun in his suitcase to shoot, go to location.

[Dan Soder]

What a badass.

[Bert Kreischer]

Gets arrested.

[Dan Soder]

I didn't know I was supposed to check it. Pimpin. I thought it was a carry on. That's so funny that he's just like, remind me, Pimpin, does guns go in carry on or do they go in, check in? I've been slapping these hoes all day. Him not knowing luggage is so funny to me. So he just put a gun in his bag.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. He clearly gets arrested.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

The worst.

[Dan Soder]

Only place you can't go with a gun in a bag is absolutely airport.

[Bert Kreischer]

Production, sitting in Bermuda, wherever the fuck they are. And they're like, we need something small and black. What can we get within the week? And they're like, kevin Hart.

[Dan Soder]

Who can fit these suits? Who can fit these colorful suits?

[Bert Kreischer]

That's why him and Katt Williams hate each other.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Bert Kreischer]

That's what I've been told. Now that's all hearsay.

[Dan Soder]

White guys on a couch in New York.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's what I've been told. And so I said that nine years ago.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then Janice Sharp brings it up, and now I know what I said. I can't go back on what I said. I never said that. Yeah. Then the clip comes out, like, all right, I said it. So I stood by it. And I say, every comic, every. I want to. I then get behind. I go, every comic has one lucky moment in life that changes her life for me. The machine story goes viral, and the girl writes the first comment. I was in this Russian class. This story's 100% true. I was on this trip. He fucking robbed us. That's mine. Jim Jeffries, he gets punched in the head at the Comedy Store in London. Brent Vincent happens to be his manager, who knows how MySpace works. Takes the. Steals the footage from the security cam, post it on MySpace. Fucking viral. Bill Burr, Philly, the Philly fucking Rant.

[Dan Soder]

Now, I'm not done. I'm still selling merch.

[Bert Kreischer]

Joe Rogan, Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Carlos Mencia, fucking.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's what I'm talking about, is every comic's got that fucking moment. I said to Tommy, I go, what was yours? And he goes, comedy Central passed on my hour. I said, what? He goes, comedy Central passed on my hour, and it went to Netflix. Bill Burr was the only comic on Netflix. If they said, do you like Bill Burr? Which a lot of people do, you may like Tom Segura. So, like, there's these. Every comic has the luck it is. And if you don't acknowledge your luck or that your luck hasn't happened yet, I mean, my.

[Dan Soder]

My luck absolutely was doing an open mic in New York City with a writer who was just a writer, thought he was just like a regular guy. Turns out he was the writer of Rounders, Brian Koppelman. And then he puts me in billions. And you're like, oh, shit, yeah. He's like, yeah, just. I know. You know, I wanted to get comics involved. And you're like, oh, fuck, I wouldn't think. This guy that I just met, I thought, he's just a regular dude. And he's like, no, I'm fudgeing. I'm a pretty big screenwriter. And you're like, fuck.

[Bert Kreischer]

Sit. To sit at the mountaintop and go, like, I deserve this is irresponsible.

[Dan Soder]

Well, it's. It's. It's. It's almost like an NFL player going, every play went exactly the way I wanted it to. He goes, sometimes the. The ball bounces off your hands and you catch it. So Shannon Sharp brings this up.

[Bert Kreischer]

I say it, and then I'm like. And then a second, I walk out of the interview, I'm like, this is going to be a long month. And I go, and, but, but. But, you know, here's the deal. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that never happened.

[Dan Soder]

I think it's a good point. I think it's a very good point. And I think what it does is it's important for people who are successful to show humility so that they don't think they're bigger than their success. Listen, it doesn't mean that Kevin Hart isn't a hard worker.

[Bert Kreischer]

That doesn't mean.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, I almost wish he would stop working so then I could like him again. Because I don't need to see him in Royal Kingdom ads. I don't need to see him in every fucking ad possible. I think he is so charming. Now, granted, I have different feelings because I love Big J and I feel like he could have been a better friend to Big J. Yeah. So it's a personal thing, but do you know my Shannon Sharp story about when I got high when I was a teenager and he caught me? So Mike McDaniel, the now unemployed coach, he'll land somewhere and he'll win a Super Bowl. He was at Yale. He was going to Yale. I was at the University of Arizona. Came home from Alaska. It was like, I was about to go back down to Arizona. I was about to drive back down there. And McDaniel's stepdad worked for the Broncos. Neil McDaniel and Kyle Shanahan. At the time, Kyle Shanahan played receiver at Texas.

[Bert Kreischer]

Was there a Shanahan on at Indiana last?

[Dan Soder]

Mike Shanahan is the name of. Not related.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, same name.

[Dan Soder]

Not related.

[Bert Kreischer]

Keep going. I'm sorry.

[Dan Soder]

So Kyle Shanahan at the time. Mike Shanahan's coaching the Broncos. Kyle Shanahan and Mike McDaniel are going up to Greeley. This is where their training camp was to work out with the strength and conditioning coach before they both individually go back to their own colleges, Texas and Yale. So McDaniel's like, well, I'm going to go up to Greeley and work out with Kyle Shanahan. Do you want to come up and watch the Broncos practice? Which is like, if you get any access to the NFL team. I'm a 49er fan. I didn't give a shit.

[Bert Kreischer]

I've made people that don't aren't interested in football. Katherine Blandford. I go, we're going to see the Seahawks. She goes, I don't really care. I go, come out.

[Dan Soder]

It's funny.

[Bert Kreischer]

Dk. DK Metcalf will hit on you. He did. Yeah, he did. And then she got a punt and it hit her in the tit. And it went viral.

[Dan Soder]

That's great.

[Bert Kreischer]

Katherine Blandford is gold.

[Dan Soder]

She's hilarious.

[Bert Kreischer]

She punched Kyle in the stomach.

[Dan Soder]

And by the way, where Kyle tried to jump with it, and then Catherine still fucking buried it. I was like, that's a Southern woman. That's a Southern woman with follow through.

[Bert Kreischer]

My favorite is in the slow motion, you can see her go from smiling to.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, she goes. And when she leans in, watching him try. Watching Kyle try to push back and her pushing. So this might have been between senior and freshman year of college, but I was friends with. At the time, there was a special teams coach for the Broncos, and his son Derek had moved from Decatur, Georgia, to Aurora, Colorado, to. Or to Colorado. So he was hanging out with Mike and us. Yeah. Our friend group. And he had a thick ass. Southern accent. Black dude with a thick Atlanta accent. And we were at another high school's house party. Remember when you go to another high school's house party.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

The feeling of, like an away game.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where you're like, shit's gonna pop off.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, you were never comfortable. Never come back against the refrigerator in the kitchen going, I don't know anything.

[Dan Soder]

Then you know, like a guy you used to play football with and you go, hey, Cody, you go to school here? So this wasn't between my senior and senior year, high school, freshman year of college.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's such a specific feeling.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

That. That everyone can identify with. Oh, yeah. I know that feeling.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Where you're just like. So we're just. I.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's like the first time you put your dick in a vagina without a condom and you're like, oh, this is amazing. This is why this.

[Dan Soder]

Why so many men get in trouble. Yeah. That was the feeling.

[Bert Kreischer]

It opens the world.

[Dan Soder]

I remember the first time. This might. We might have to cut it, but I remember the first time. Nothing in a woman, like. But I mean, like, without a condiment, it's cool. Where you go, like, go ahead. And then you go. I. I remember just eating. I went to a diner after, and I was with her, and I was just smiling, and she was. And I was like, what a feeling. I feel alive.

[Bert Kreischer]

Sponge on the sponge mind.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it was. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mine was a. I was like, why.

[Bert Kreischer]

Don'T we get more. They stopped making the sponge, and I had to stop nutting in her.

[Dan Soder]

Sponge worthy. Dude. That was the whole Seinfeld episode. Is he spongebob? You ever see that episode where Elaine is. There are limited amount of sponges and she's dating and she goes, is this guy spongebob?

[Bert Kreischer]

That was real? Yeah, that was real. They stopped making the sponge get sponges.

[Dan Soder]

In Tallahassee, so Seinfeld did a whole episode where Elaine was choosing which guys were sponge worthy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, shut the fuck up.

[Dan Soder]

Might have jerked off to it. Once I found out it meant Elaine was getting busted up inside of maybe.

[Bert Kreischer]

I never thought about it that way.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude, she's getting busted up in. And I'm like, ooh, Elaine. Elaine's a little cream filled joy. Dude, I had a. Oh, you could.

[Bert Kreischer]

Totally blow loads in a lane.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God, she's. She's my number one. Wait, Elaine Bennis is my number one fantasy crush of all time. Later seasons. Julia Louis Dreyfus is one of the hottest women of all time.

[Bert Kreischer]

She's sexy.

[Dan Soder]

You cannot convince me otherwise. Even the bad dancing, I. I was just like. So when I found that sponge thing out, it was like, oh, my God, that peak. Me jerking off.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was like, so hot. What?

[Dan Soder]

Elaine. Elaine's getting what? So Derek, I don't want to give away his last name because he's. He's an adult man now, but Derek had this thick ass Decatur accent. We're at another high school party. His dad was the special teams coordinator on both super bowl teams. So you can look it up, you can put it together, but he wore his dad's super bowl ring out. He just had the 98 Super bowl ring out. And this is in 2001. And we're at a house party and you just hear him over the music go, you. You think I'm gonna smack you in your head with my super bowl rang? That's what I hit. And I looked over and he was talking to this kid from another high school. And I was like, derek, you're gonna cause a melee in here. But Derek was the man. And he. We would. Him and I would smoke weed together. We'd always get high. So McDaniel's like, I'm gonna go up to train camp. You want to go? And I was like, yeah. And Derek, he's like, derek's gonna come too. And Derek's like, soder, why don't you drive? We'll smoke blunts on the drive up there. Mike's got to go train so he can't get high. Why don't me and you drive up there and we'll smoke blunts? And I was like, it's like a 90 minute drive. You're like, yeah, beautiful. So driving up there, listening to like, backbone, listening to like Atlanta Southern you know, listening to mj do or Die. And so we're getting high or die. Yeah. Do you wanna ride? And we're. We're smoking, and we get there, and I am like, for white people that have never smoked with black people, they get.

[Bert Kreischer]

That should be the opening of a novel.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, that's good. As good as. As the opening of. Of Great Gatsby.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

On my 30th birthday, I knew I had to stop lying to myself.

[Dan Soder]

If you've never. I would say the way white people drink, sometimes black people can't hang. With the way we drink.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Smoking weed, we can't hang.

[Bert Kreischer]

They call it white chick wasted.

[Dan Soder]

White chick wasted.

[Bert Kreischer]

Black dudes will go, I'm getting white chick wasted.

[Dan Soder]

Get black dude high.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

Because you. Good luck. And I'm a seasoned vet. I'm a lifer. And there has been times with my friend Joe up in the Bronx, and this time with Derek, I was far too high because we. We smoked a little, and then we parked and smoked, like, two blunts.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, you know how black dudes call their dead daddies? Yeah. They call their. Their dad daddy. It's always weird to me because also, I didn't have a father.

[Bert Kreischer]

Leanne does it.

[Dan Soder]

And so it might be a Southern thing.

[Bert Kreischer]

Leanne does it. She goes, daddy, Daddy's gonna sleep.

[Dan Soder]

And they don't say it like, daddy. They go, like, my daddy did it. You go, daddy. She goes, derek goes, I gotta go drop my bag off in my daddy's room. I'm staying up here, so he wasn't gonna drive back with me. And I was like, yeah, sure, whatever, man. And they're staying at the dorms at the University of Northern Colorado dorms. This is where the. Where their training camp was. So I'm like, yeah, whatever. I'm so high that walking is a problem for me. Where I go, I'm just following you. We go into the dorms. Derek drops his bag off. I'm not even thinking about it. We get on the elevator. The elevator goes down. A level opens up. Brian Greasy Rod Smith, Shannon Sharp, and I think Howard Griffin all get on the elevator. So four starters on the Broncos get in. Jesus, I'm high as fuck.

[Bert Kreischer]

Shannon Sharpe is a very large man, Very large man.

[Dan Soder]

And he stands directly next to me. Derek is on my right. Shannon Sharpe is on my left. And I'm very high. And Shannon Sharp looks over at Derek and he goes, derek, I know what you've been doing. I ain't gonna tell your daddy that's all he says. And I went. And that elevator ride, I was like, shannon Sharp knows I'm stone your daddy. And I remember his mouth was right here.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So I watched him go, I ain't gonna tell your daddy like that. And I was like, oh. And then I'm like, we get off the elevator, I'm like, derek, are we in trouble? Are we? Because this is like, weed's still a drug.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's not still a drug.

[Dan Soder]

So we're like. I'm like, derek, are we in trouble? He's like, no, man. Shannon cool as hell. He ain't gonna say. And then we're just chilling, and then he goes, come on, let's go out to practice. And we just walk through the locker room.

[Bert Kreischer]

Him.

[Dan Soder]

So there's just Al Wilson, buck ass naked. DJ Williams is like, getting dressed. All these guys that you're like, all star, all star, all star. Shannon Sharp is getting ready for practice. His locker is open, and Derek's friends with him. So Derek comes over and he goes, what's up, Shannon? And he goes, oh, this is one of them Jacob the Jeweler watches. Remember those with the face where they had the yellow, red, and blue?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And Derek goes, can I put that on? And Shannon, we're high. As Shannon goes, yeah, put it on Derek. And Derek's like, damn, it's nice. And then Shannon goes, have your little white friend put it on like that. And I put on, I have skinny wrists, and it's just sliding and. But I, for a moment, lost myself in the moment. And I was going like I was doing the P. Diddy Mace from Mo Money. Mo Problems. And then I looked down at Shannon Sharp's looking at me like, what the fuck? And I go, this is very nice. And then I went outside and watched practice. But that was the most. I was like, like the most awkward high I've ever been. And being like, shannon Sharp knows I'm ripped, but he's cool as.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's cool as.

[Dan Soder]

I've loved Shannon Sharp ever since then. He went to the Ravens. He was the man.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's, he's one of the, it was one of the, it was one interview I've been wanting to do. This is an interview I've been wanting to do. I, this. Your show's murdering, right? I mean, just. I, I, I don't know. I, I, I wonder what the sweet sauce and podcasting is.

[Dan Soder]

And I, you know what I think it is, is I think it's being.

[Bert Kreischer]

Being excited about it being genuine.

[Dan Soder]

Like, I only have People on my podcast that I want to talk to, I did.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm doing that. So with bertcast, I. I denied ad sales this year.

[Dan Soder]

That's big.

[Bert Kreischer]

I. I will. I did. I'm.

[Dan Soder]

That's what we did. First six.

[Bert Kreischer]

I can only speak for myself right now.

[Dan Soder]

We did that first. For the first six months. I went, I'm not taking ads. I'm just gonna do a podcast. I'm having my friends on or whatever. And then you. It's truly. Is the thing. It's. It's all come back down to middle school and getting girls.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

If you don't want them, they want you. If you go, I don't want it, they go. But why?

[Bert Kreischer]

I got. I got really lucky in a couple of people that I got on early in their careers in music that went on to be a little bigger.

[Dan Soder]

Marcus King, Red Clay Strays couple. Yeah, yeah. Jelly roll. Stephen Wilson Jr. Stephen Wilson Jr's the man. Everyone needs to listen to Stephen Wilson Jr.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, he's that song.

[Dan Soder]

Gary, if you have a problem with your father, go listen to Stephen Wilson Jr.

[Bert Kreischer]

Goose. I got Goose.

[Dan Soder]

I remember that.

[Bert Kreischer]

A few bands that I really liked, and then some more legacy acts. Like. Like. Like Warren Haynes.

[Dan Soder]

Sure. And Warren Haynes is the man. And everyone should watch the Opie and Anthony, where he plays the guitar and Patrice sings.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's so good.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's really fun.

[Bert Kreischer]

And so I. And when I went to Nashville, I.

[Dan Soder]

Did Using Government Mule. Yeah, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

He has got.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, they're fucking.

[Bert Kreischer]

When I went to Nashville, I had a bunch of publicists coming up to me going, how do we get. Like, how do we get. The first one that came up, they were like, hey, how do we get Luke Bryant on your show? And I was. I'm a big Luke Bryan fan. Sure. And I was like, are you serious? And they're like, yeah, yeah, we'd love to get him on your show. And I was like, great. So at that moment, I was with Leanne, and I said, you know, I love having comics on my show. And I'd have comics like you or Jay or people like Legion of Skanks shorthand with. It's not an interview, but, like, I don't want to try to break young comics in anymore.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

This. There was a period. I know that no one really probably sees us this way, and maybe I'm imagining it, but there was a period where I was having young comics come on, and it was fun. Like, Mark Norman never. He was. He was like, I'm really bad at podcasting yeah, this is like 2015.

[Dan Soder]

I remember that you had me on in the old man cave.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because Ari was like, yeah, Bert will have you on. And I was like, oh, fuck. Because I was promoting my Comedy Central special and LA was like. Like the moon.

[Bert Kreischer]

It was when LA was hot. I mean, I remember Tim. Tim. Why am I Tim Dillon? I mean, like having Andrew Schultz. Schultz on, like when he was young, he. I don't think he'd even started his podcast.

[Dan Soder]

No. Yeah, he. Yeah. I don't know how old his podcast is, but yeah, I mean, I don't think.

[Bert Kreischer]

I don't maybe flake. I mean, he's. He doesn't seem like a guy that was late to the game on anything.

[Dan Soder]

No, he's like, always been ahead of.

[Bert Kreischer]

The curve, but at the time you'd have them on and then you didn't know them. I know Andrew Schultz and I remember he talked wild. He was like. I was like, so what's. Like, what's your five year goal? And he goes, be the goat. I mean, he said this specifically to me and I was like, so weird at the time. I was like, whoa, don't say that out loud.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, what's so funny about that is seeing someone's success like that. You go, oh, yeah, they've always had that focus.

[Bert Kreischer]

And also he's like, Burr Chappelle. I'm coming after them. And I remember going like, hey, do you want me to that out? And he was like, no, that's my goal. And I was like. I was like, wow. And then you watch his success and you're like, that makes sense. Those days, sadly, are a thing of the past where you're gonna find a Tim Dillon or a Shane Gillis or, or a Mark Normand or a. Or a you or a Big J or a Lewis or a like, and have them on and it be gold. And then say to your friends, yo, you gotta get this guy on.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then those. And now it's like, it just feels like. And also, I wasn't successful, so it was a real genuine conversation.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

Now when you bring someone to that. That house. I have that house. And people are like, does it feel.

[Dan Soder]

Like an interview feels like a job interview?

[Bert Kreischer]

A little bit. Little bit. People come in the first thing, they're like, how did you get this? And then the interviews have flipped a little bit with younger comics where they're like, so when you promote. And so it became less of a hang and. And more of like, more of like a weird thing.

[Dan Soder]

I bet I'm I'm gonna be honest right now. I bet there's a lot of podcast fans that feel less crazy hearing you say that, because I think as podcasts have become as commodified as they have.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I think fans are going, why does it feel different?

[Bert Kreischer]

It feels different. It feels different to me.

[Dan Soder]

And you have to be honest. This is a business of, like, if you're dishonest, your shit will blow up in your face because people are waiting to do the video where they go, this isn't who he really is.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, birds change. And you're like, no, I know I have. But, like, also, I'm trying to stay the same, but it's like, like things have changed around me.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And so. And so you're also a force.

[Dan Soder]

Like, you're unlike a lot of people that I know. You're just like a avalanche. Like, you. The way you hit and the way that you. I would say something that you don't get complimented on is you do a great job of making the situation yours in a way that feels like five.

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[Dan Soder]

When I knew we were doing this podcast, I was like, what would be do if he wasn't a comedian? And it would easily be the greatest camp counselor of all time. Oh, you would, you would. You're the guy I listen and. And we can edit this out. If this becomes a real thing. I would 100% write a movie about you. Going to, like, gay conversion camp and becoming their fun counselor, where it just becomes a scene where you, like, break these kids out. Or, like, you're a camp counselor and you break the gay conversion kids out, and they're just like. Yeah. And, like, you just banging a drum. You remember those fun 90s comedies?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Where they were like, balls. Yes. Camp Nowhere.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

All this shit where you were like, it's. I think we need to return to summer camps. We need to return to, like, kids in canoes and fucking chicken fighting in the water and getting poison ivy. You got to return to kids.

[Bert Kreischer]

I have. I have a thing about me that is like, I like being a Pied Piper. I like being in charge. I like, not in charge. But I like. I like. I like. I like being the momentum.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'll give you a. This is a great Brian Koppelman story. And Brian, obviously, everyone's truth is. Whatever. Truth.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I can slide into my DMs and read them aloud. But Brian Koppelman, after I did the Machine, wrote me a part in Billions.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Bert Kreischer]

He wrote a part for me.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he DM'd me. And he goes, yo, I wrote a part for you in Billions. I think it was about a guy that was like a CEO that eat cheeseburgers or something.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then he was like. And I wrote back, I'm gonna pass. And he went, you haven't read it?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he's like, hold on. And he wrote back like, this isn't how that works. If someone writes something for you, you do it. And I said, you know, I think I'd be bad at this because I like to be the star of the thing so that I can go into everyone's dressing room and I can change the energy, and I can dictate the fun energy. Like, when we did Free Bert, every Friday. Every Friday. We've worked all week. Every Friday, I would plan an event to make the crew lose their mind. So one time I bought 700 crystal burgers.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Bert Kreischer]

And so I was like, I bought so many crystal burgers that when they went to pick them up, crystals had chains on the door because they were still making burgers and they couldn't allow anyone in.

[Dan Soder]

Do you know, do you ever think about the causality of, like, what a great gift for the crew? And then you think about the fry cook that's down there, and he's just, like, covered in sweat, and he's like, how many more? And they're like, you're at 423 and he's like, we got to get to 700. And they go, yeah, and we're also only paying you 725 an hour.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he's like, 400 cheeseburgers from McDonald's. Oh, my. 700 Grizzle burgers. I get fucking 20 pizzas at, like, at the end of every Friday. I just order like 20 pieces from one place, 20 pieces for another place. But I love that energy. When I was doing the movie in Serbia, I said money was so was. Everything was so cheap there that I was like, yo, what would it cost to have my house cater? I like a four story house. I go on it catered. And I want a sommelier to come out with all their own wines. I want to buy all their wines for the whole crew and cast or the whole cast. There's like, you know, 20 of us. And they're like $400. And I go, all right, I'll do it. I go and get a dj. And so in my house I have.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, that is the chef as well. In Serbia. Yeah, he also is a cobbler.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then, by the way, the DJ came and he's like, this can also be a karaoke.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, I also. You want girls? No, you keep those.

[Bert Kreischer]

But like, that taking. Taking what you. You know, that energy is the only reason I do a movie or TV show. I like acting, I like writing, I like making a project. But that energy of like, this nuclear family, this camp energy, is what I enjoy. And I like being the Pied Piper of the camp. I don't know, it's like being on tour when we did Fully Loaded. I love that energy of going. I remember sitting down with all of us. We're sitting at this table in Boise, Idaho, and it's the funniest human beings alive. It is the funniest human beings alive at a table with my daughter Georgia, and we're busting balls. Jay. Someone sat in a chair and it broke. And Jay went off on this soliloquy about how only fat guys intimately know the feeling of what that laughter, that fake laughter you're doing is. And it was so good.

[Dan Soder]

Can I tell you one of my favorite moments I've witnessed in comedy was at Skank Fest watching J tape Dog Belly. And it was the second taping. And second taping. Jay knew they had it. They're filming it. This fat guy broke a chair. And Big J in the middle of set goes, why are you sitting on the ground? And the guy goes, the chair broke. And he goes, you're living My nightmare right now. And he just called it out in such a perfect Big J way.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

That you're like. It was so funny. And I was, like, hidden behind one of the cameras.

[Bert Kreischer]

So vulnerable.

[Dan Soder]

I was laughing.

[Bert Kreischer]

He did that at the breakfast table.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

In this vulnerable call out. And it was brilliant. Right? We're all laughing. I want to say Stavi, Mark, Norman, Santino.

[Dan Soder]

I did one week of that tour, and that was the Ralph Barbosa.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, Barboso.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. The Gorge.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah. And Georgia's sitting at the breakfast table, and everyone goes off. We're gonna go tubing or shooting gun, whatever we're gonna do Next. It's like 10 in the morning, and Georgia looks at me and goes, I have never laughed as hard as I just did.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I went, yeah. And she goes, does this. Is this every morning? And I said, yeah. She goes, is this what your life is like? And I said, yeah, baby. That's why I spend so much time with these guys. Isn't that great? She goes, no wonder you never came home. And I was like, yeah, these guys are the funniest country song, the funniest human beings. And then my daughters slowly started to fall in love with the comics as, like, uncles, where they go, like. Like.

[Dan Soder]

Like shame Isla for having beers or who?

[Bert Kreischer]

Georgia.

[Dan Soder]

George having a beer. Instead of going, you drinking beers?

[Bert Kreischer]

He goes up. He goes up to Georgia and Daisy. They're. This is like the first year maybe. And he just cut last night. And he goes, you got sneaking beers? They're like 18. They go, no. And he goes, come on, I'm not gonna bust you. And they're like, no, no, no. We're not sneaking beers. And he goes, guys, I'm not your dad. I'm Shane. What are you guys doing Sneaking a little beers? Little Bls. And they're like, yeah, we're sneaking beers. And he goes, okay. And he goes. Sits down right next to me, goes, george is sneaking beers. Isla and Big J. Isla and Big J on the bus after. Like, Isla's supposed to be working, and she's dressed as Big J. They looks like twins. Yeah, they look like twins to this day.

[Dan Soder]

She looks like if Big J if. If she was Big J's daughter. Their house burned down, and the only clothes available was dad.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes. And Big J on the bus, sitting in the two recliners watching YouTube videos together, laughing hysterically. And I walk on the bus and then the bus for a full year. I couldn't get out of Jay's Algorithm.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So it was Jay and Isla's algorithm. So if you ever turned on YouTube, it was like some dude getting lit on fire.

[Dan Soder]

Why do I have a nine hour while busting my feed?

[Bert Kreischer]

That was the, like.

[Dan Soder]

When we were on the road with Shane, it's. It goes to our old school hangs.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where we're both opening for Shane. And. And you know, Shane does the thing where he goes, like. Like we land. And he goes, all right, I'll see you guys. Pick up at the hotel, 6pm and Jay and I will be like, you want to get high and go watch YouTube and. And then Jay will be like, it. We'll just smoke a joint in the hotel room. And we're like by the elevator of a very nice hotel. And we're just sitting there and he goes, you gotta hear this. And he'll put it on his beats. He's like, you gotta hear when the guy gets caught. And we're just sitting there watching like a four star smoking gas. It's so fun. But that is the summer camp. When I thought about that, I was like, oh, Bert would absolutely be a camp counselor.

[Bert Kreischer]

I was. I was fully loaded. I mean, it was so.

[Dan Soder]

Fun, dude.

[Bert Kreischer]

It was.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, it was so big. J and I and Derosa, there was one show where we went like, hey, someone put a special out. And you know the rule with me, everybody. And the rule's always been the same. When I. When you see me live, you can ask me who it is and I will tell you. I will not tell you via dm. I will not write it down, but I will tell you.

[Bert Kreischer]

There was a special that just came out that I almost. I almost texted you and Jay and I was like, did you watch it together?

[Dan Soder]

We'll talk after the podcast because we still do that.

[Bert Kreischer]

I tried to buy it and I was texting with Joe and Tom and I was like, from. In our group, I watch all the specials first and then I give notes. So, like, I watch a special and I just send notes and they're like. And then immediately like, more. More notes, more notes.

[Dan Soder]

Dude. Shane. Shane and I's conversation is always the same. Starts with football. Immediately goes into. Whose special we just watched. Oh, it'll go like. It will, like, trail out. Well, he always does a thing whenever he picks up the phone that he. We do sports talk. Colin. Yeah, so we'll pick up. I go on the phone. We got Dan soder. We're talking 49ers. We're talking Mike McDaniel. And I'll go. And we're talking AFC East. Shane. I don't think so. That's how we always start. But then it immediately goes, yo, did you watch so and show special? And you go, I did. And here are my notes.

[Bert Kreischer]

I cannot wait to talk about.

[Dan Soder]

We're going to cut the mic soon and me and you are going to go before your next thing. We gotta talk three things before because I got one that I have six points that the second the mic's cut off, we'll talk about it. There's comics love on David Constable, who's on Billions.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Who plays Wags.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

He's one of the greatest characters. He's one of the greatest actors of our generation. I will argue that David Costable was Gil. He was Gill in Breaking Bad. He was one of the editors in The Wire Season 5. He's in Lincoln. He play. I know him from playing Wags on Billions. First day in hair and makeup, season one, My first day hair and makeup. I'm there. Me and Constable are both in hair and makeup. And I went, hey, man, I'm Dan. I'm playing Mafee. I'm not an actor. I'm a stand up comic. So I'm gonna be asking for a lot of help. I was very overwhelmed.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Very overwhelmed. When I first started on Billions, I would ask for help and I, I all through all seven seasons, I did. But Costable is the man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And he goes, you're a stand up comic. And I go, yeah. He goes, second meanest group in entertainment to each other. And I went second. And he goes, only behind Broadway dancers. He goes, they'll push each other downstairs to get a role. Comics will do the same verbally. And I went, you know, a lot of stand up comics I do, I was like, yeah, he's the man. That was that when he said that to me, that crystallized it in my head where I go, we are just, we're like, we're like.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, it's like, it's like you're doing the same thing I do.

[Dan Soder]

Sure. And I have notes on it.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I have notes. Yeah, I have notes and it's. But I watch, I watch Someone Special. I watched someone Special recently. Within the last, you know, six months.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I always, whenever they come out, I'm always in the gym that morning and I'm with my trainer and my assistant and I hit play and I predict what their open's gonna be. Oh, and I use. I predict his open to a T. Love it. I did it before they saw it. I said, let me tell you how this is gonna go.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I hit pause, and I did it.

[Dan Soder]

Oh.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then I hit.

[Dan Soder]

You know, and it.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it happened.

[Dan Soder]

And I went, you know, who's the master at that? Big J. I bet.

[Bert Kreischer]

I bet we.

[Dan Soder]

We. One of our first. First bought, like, Bonfire Shangs was Nick Cannon put out a special.

[Bert Kreischer]

I remember this. I watched Nick Cannon special with Jay, Mr. Showtime.

[Dan Soder]

And he could pause it and go. I'll tell you that. I'll tell you exactly what this punchline is. Because he did all rehashed black circuit jokes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where he's like, we didn't have. We didn't have Tony the Tiger. Things weren't great. We had Tyrone the. And, you know, and Jay was like. Jay at one point paused it and went, it splat out. And then hit it. And then Nick Cannon goes splat out. It was. Dude. It was one of those.

[Bert Kreischer]

I watched that with.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Is that the one where his shoes were all untied?

[Dan Soder]

It's where he gets undressed eventually.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where he starts in the tuxedo, and by the end he's, like, just in a wife beater. We were obsessed with it. Big J made me laugh the hardest I've ever laughed in my life. Pete Davidson was opening for Nick Cannon, and we used to just bust Pete Davidson's balls about how little he gets paid.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

By Nick Cannon. And Nick Cannon was working out new material at Governors in Long Island. And this is when Jay was living on Long Island. And Jay goes. Pete was like, I can get you guys tuckets if you want. And we're like, yeah. And Big J's like, come out to Long Island. And I took the train out. We smoked, like, two joints at his house. We go to Governors. We sit in the very back. And at one point in the show, this is where Nick Cannon's hosting America's Got Talent. So it's. A lot of older white people are in the audience. And Nick Cannon's doing this bit where he goes, I'm serious, y'. All. We could end racism if we want to. We could end racism tonight. And Jay, from the very back, goes and starts a slow clap.

[Bert Kreischer]

Burt.

[Dan Soder]

That the audience popped off. And I had to go into the lobby because I was laughing so hard. Because Jay just stands up and gives one, and then you just see everyone go, yeah, we can add racism. It was. Oh, take me back. That was one of the hardest I've ever laughed in my life. Life to the point where I was like, my ribs hurt when I got in the car. It was great.

[Bert Kreischer]

I miss. I. I'm bummed that I don't live in New York, so I miss all you guys. Sure. Like, I watch Ev. It seems like so much fun. I feel like New York's having, like, has had for the past few years a minute where it's like, everything fun seems to be out of New York.

[Dan Soder]

Well, it's just. You can get to it so fast. Like, what it is, is, like, I'll be doing a set at the Cellar, and then Lewis would be like, can you come do Legion of Skanks? And you go, oh, it's five blocks away. Let me just walk over. And then. Or someone like, for instance, Shane will be in town doing something, and then he'll just pop it on skanks. Or he'll just be like, you have to sell her. Let's eat wings. And you're like, oh, this is the. Yeah, it is a great city. Because there's so much. The reason I would argue New York is so great is there's so much happening here that people are here all the time. I got a text for I. I get to see three LA friends this week. You, Santino and Adam Ray, all in la, all doing different. Cool.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And you go, awesome. Also, Shane's doing the Garden. So all these people are coming in the Garden Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

[Bert Kreischer]

This week.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm doing it with. With them Friday. I think the lineup is Me, Attel, Michael, Che, and Shane. Wow. I know. Thursday is Santino, Colin Quinn, big J and McCusker.

[Bert Kreischer]

Holy.

[Dan Soder]

Then Shane and Saturday. This is going to come out after the shows. Saturdays are Louis C.K. and two other people. I don't know who I'm doing fort.

[Bert Kreischer]

The Garden, but I'm the same, guys.

[Dan Soder]

Just kidding.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'll be at the Beacon in April.

[Dan Soder]

By the way, you're doing multiple. I see. Here's what's up about comedy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Jesus Christ.

[Dan Soder]

You're doing my dream gig, which.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, everyone's doing everyone's dream gig.

[Dan Soder]

But you're doing two at the Beacon.

[Bert Kreischer]

Three at the Beacon. I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

I think Saglo told me you're doing, like, two or three at the Beacon, and I was like, oh, I'm hanging out for that.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, I'm coming.

[Bert Kreischer]

Kick it. I mean, obviously, you know, I think I. I think what happens is you got to go to the top of the mountain to see what it looks like. Right.

[Dan Soder]

For sure. But then you realize the air is very thin.

[Bert Kreischer]

Very thin. And by the way. And by the way I will tell you, you, you're standing by yourself. There's not a lot of people rooting for you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

There's a lot of people wanting you to fail. There's a lot of people kind of hating on you.

[Dan Soder]

Can I tell you, as a guy that lives at base camp, I. I go up a little. I go pick some odd berries up on the mountain, but I come back down to base camp.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, no, no. You know what you are? You are a well acclimated Sherpa who, by the way, could be at the top of the mountain if you wanted to. But right now you're just making runs back and forth.

[Dan Soder]

I really appreciate that and I genuinely agree with you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Because I'm. I'm telling you, someone's.

[Dan Soder]

I just have my little wool hat on.

[Bert Kreischer]

I want to say, I want to say on Club Shay. Shay.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I swear to God, I don't know who I said this to. They're like, I was like, I have a really good knack for telling you, but I think all comics do.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

I go, all comics can tell you who's going to be the next big thing. I think Shannon Sharpe said, said, who's the next big thing? I said, dan Soder the second. All he needs is that little luck thing where everyone's like. And you're across all platforms.

[Dan Soder]

I think I've got. I think, you know, something that really, really helped me that I don't think you realize is leaving the bonfire was very, very difficult for me. It took, you know, I gave Jay a year advance notice. I was very anxious about it because it was a true, like, bet on myself because the job was so fun and so great. But I felt myself being comfortable. Comfortable. And I said, I need to go do stand up and I need to go do a lot of stand up. And I really, I'm burned out. Eight hours of broadcasting a week.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Being as funny as I can because I tried on that show. I wanted. I, I truly was, like, took advantage of being able to be funny with Jay for eight. He's the funniest person I've ever met in my life. And, and I don't, don't mean that on a knock on anybody else in comedy. No, naturally funny. Big J is miles ahead of anybody.

[Bert Kreischer]

I've ever met yet.

[Dan Soder]

And so it was such an opportunity to do it. But I really got to tell you, when I went on fully loaded and I remember the show, it was the Baltimore show, I got on the bus and I was getting a join out and you and Leanne both at the same time went, hey, you're making the right. You made the right decision to leave the bonfire. You need to go do more. Stand up. Both of you said that to me. It was that and Bill Burr saying that to me that made me go, like, all right, maybe I'm not. Because I felt crazy. And listen, I'll always, You know, I would love to go do that show as much as possible, but I want them to have their Bobby and Jay to have their own show, and I want to that up. I love those fans. I'm always going to love those fans, but that's what I needed. I needed another comic going. I know it's really hard, but you're doing the right thing. And. And I can see it's paying off.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, I. I mean, that. That one tour was where I was like. Like, I was like, wow, this is. You've. You've.

[Dan Soder]

You.

[Bert Kreischer]

You've made an absolute turn. Stand up Wise is like, it's like undeniable. It's like, really, honestly, like, the first round of Fully Loaded, when Big J sat on a stool and did material.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, we were.

[Bert Kreischer]

Shane and I were in the back, like, dude.

[Dan Soder]

And I know, I know Shane would never tell Big J this story, but I. I was in London. That's why I couldn't do Fully Loaded the first year, because I went and did shows in London. London. And I came back and I was on the phone with Shane and I. And he's like, it's the best. This tour is the best. It's me and Norman and Jan. I go, how's Jay's doing? He goes, dude, he's doing material and he's murdering that. And he goes, it's so fun. And I know Shane would never say that to Big J. Yeah. But it's like, dude, that people compliment each other.

[Bert Kreischer]

That version of Shane. And there's very. Every iteration. I love. I love every version I've gotten a Shane. Right?

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, the very first version was this, like, a little bit timid, a little scared, Very hat in hand Shane. Have you ever read his email to me about why we should be friends?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's so great about that because they did the. You did the don't come into work show.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, we did call it Sick to Work.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, Calling Sick to Work.

[Bert Kreischer]

And like, that version, that was when.

[Dan Soder]

He'S on the road with me.

[Bert Kreischer]

But the version, my favorite out of all my favorites. And I love the there. I mean, like, it's all gotten better.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

But out of all, if I could get a grab of Shane, it was that first fully loaded. I think he was on every date. And his enthusiasm for stand up. He was working on his. What is. What is beautiful dogs.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it was.

[Bert Kreischer]

And his enthusiasm for all stand up. Like, all stand up was so.

[Dan Soder]

He loves the shit.

[Bert Kreischer]

Infectious. And I remember him saying the very first show, he's kind of pacing with the Bud Light. And he goes, you're not kidding. Shouldn't walk out on stage, are you? And I go, what? And he goes, dude, we got a bullpen out there. We're playing Enter Sandman. You come running for the bullpen, you come sprinting up on stage. If you don't do that, then what are you doing? Yeah, this is like a professional. And he got me so pumped. And I was like, for real? And he goes, yeah. And I got in the bullpen.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I remember that.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I. And I was like, yeah. And then he was like. And I remember him just firing me up that ver. And he was so pumped. Bumped every single night.

[Dan Soder]

You know, I think the thing I. You learn from different people when you bump into them in this business, and you're a fool if you don't take away lessons when you leave.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I was on the road with Shane for about two years, and he was my feature. And I mean, when. I mean featuring, for me, it's like, good luck following that. He made me raise my up by following him. But the thing that I learned about it and the thing that I took with me was how much fun he had doing Stand up, which at that point in my career, I think I had lost a little bit. I think I had lost the. Like, we're doing the DC Drafthouse, and he's like, isn't this cool? We're doing two shows and then we're gonna go play video games. And I was like, yeah, this does rule. And then he would be like, I'm gonna do this joke. I'm gonna do this joke. It's gonna bomb. And then he'd do it and go, that joke sucks. But he was having so much fun.

[Bert Kreischer]

He was having that.

[Dan Soder]

It made me go like, I'm a. I should just be loving this.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm jealous that I'm not on this journey with him as a friend. Sure. Like, I can't open for him because we're working at the same time.

[Dan Soder]

I think you can.

[Bert Kreischer]

But, I mean, I would love to. I would love to. I just don't have any time.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

If I. But I would love to see. I Would love to see, because I've seen these weird iterations. I was with him. I was with him. Like when we did. We did Arizona, the slide.

[Dan Soder]

I remember you guys did. By the way. That was his. Like, I would say you ushered him up into a different level. Because though those super bowl shows that you guys did with Norman, you, Norman and Shane, the week before the Eagles, Chiefs, Super Bowl. But I just. As his friend, I watched him. Shane's groupies, and no one understands this. Shane's groupies are professional athletes. They love.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah, dude. He guy. I forgot about that Super Bowl.

[Dan Soder]

We.

[Bert Kreischer]

I was with him in celebrity. You brought out Big J. Yeah, yeah, that's right. At the last minute, we got him a Super bowl ticket for $120,000. The. No, I figured that was the total for all the tickets. Like an idiot, I go, God, guys, the. The pay is not great because it was. It was a. It was like an arena, but it wasn't.

[Dan Soder]

You were doing where they play ASU hockey.

[Bert Kreischer]

So it was like 10,000. It wasn't like, nice or whatever. Maybe 7,000. I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

It's a smaller.

[Bert Kreischer]

Smaller arena. And so I go, pays out great, But I'll get everyone super bowl tickets. And they're all Eagles fans, so, like, great. So. And I was like, sure. Agent hits me up. He's like, I got you the tickets. I go, cool. It was six tickets, $120,000. And I was like. But then I was like, okay. So I just.

[Dan Soder]

Just.

[Bert Kreischer]

We just throw every money I earned at this show.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You go, well, I'm not making any money today, but my friends.

[Bert Kreischer]

But so. But I remember being with Shane when we were at Celebrity Theater and he was opening for me, and as in. In 15 minutes, he got a standing ovation, and he didn't know what to do with it.

[Dan Soder]

That's really funny.

[Bert Kreischer]

I remember those super bowl shows where it was like, Mark and Shane. Now, this is nuance because I'm not on Mark, but Mark wasn't ready for arenas yet because he moves.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And in arenas, everything plays in the small screen. So if you move, the camera can't keep up with you, and it makes people motion sick. So the first night, Mark didn't do well.

[Dan Soder]

Shane murdered.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then Shane came off like. And I went up going, how do I follow that, by the way? It's beautiful. He's doing beautiful dogs.

[Dan Soder]

Brother. I want to tell you right now, I was on the road when he cracked the Special Olympics joke.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

You want to talk about following something you. The first night, he goes, we should be racing him. And you hear the crowd go. And I. You know what's funny about this? And I think Shane would agree with me that this happened. It was at MGM in Springfield. That club in Springfield. That was the weekend he cracked the joke. Because I went through a breakup. I broke up with my girlfriend that weekend. And I was very sad. And I got at him and I go, just don't like, kill too hard because I was mad. And he went, okay. And then after the show, he goes, you're really going through with this breakup? I got. Yeah, man. I'm sorry.

[Bert Kreischer]

We were. I was. I was murdered. I was with him. This is my favorite one. I'm gonna tell the whole thing and just.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

If it sounds weird, just do whatever.

[Dan Soder]

He's great at editing.

[Bert Kreischer]

So. So it's me, Tommy, and we're co headlining the MGM Grand Garden Arena.

[Dan Soder]

I was there.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's Bobby.

[Dan Soder]

Bobby Lee. It was. And when. I'll tell you the lineup, it went, Trevor Wallace, Bobby Lee, Shane, you. No, no, Tom, you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, well. So everyone was terrified about where they were going in the lineup. Trevor knew he was going first. Bobby did not want to follow Shane. No one wanted to follow Shane. Shane's at the top of his game. And it just got announced he's hosting snl like two weeks. A week before.

[Dan Soder]

Here's the reason I got to go to that Super Bowl. Well, him and Che. Che got me the ticket. And Shane gave me the hotel room.

[Bert Kreischer]

By the way, with.

[Dan Soder]

Because Bud Light gave him a. Like, two hotel rooms.

[Bert Kreischer]

With Shane announced. No. Shane was unannounced. Yeah, like, we couldn't announce Shane because it would have complicated things. They would have wanted to add a show. It was just. It would complicate things. We couldn't announce Shane, but we had to pay him. And so Shane. Typical Shane Gillis. And everyone should know this. I don't need money. That's Shane to a T. I don't need money. I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, you got Bud Lights back there, making my dad come back. You know, Nate Diaz wants to come. Can I get tickets for him?

[Dan Soder]

I was hanging out with Phil. Phil McCusker. And I sat in one of the empty entryways and watched that whole show.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I tell you my favorite moment from that night.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

This is one of my. This is one of the hardest me and McCusker have ever laughed. So McCusker and I. Phil is watching the whole show? Yes, Phil Gillis is watching the show. And Phil, for those of you that don't know, I call him the prototype type. You watch him and you go, I see where Shane comes from. Phil is the man. One of my favorite moments from that super bowl was late that night after that show, I gambled. The. The blackjack table was me, Michael, Che, and Phil Gillis. And I watched Phil and Che become close friends as we're all gambling, really. Shane and Gabe Davis and Austin Kincaid. And all these guys are out. They're going to meet Jack Harlow. They're going to do shit. We are down at this blackjack table. And Shane's like, are you guys still at that blackjack table? I'm like, you know where we're at? And he's like, jesus, my dad. He's like, is my dad gambling? I'm like, we're having. Dude, Shay has one of those things on like this.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And he's just pulling out hundreds and putting them in front of me and Phil. And he's going, slush fund. And we keep calling it the slush fund. And he goes, slush fund. And Phil goes, michael, I'm ordering another drink. And we're getting after it the hardest. I laughed. You were doing a joke about you and Tom being best friends. And you go, me and Tom are best friends. And then you start talking about you guys or sucking each other's dicks. And you're just riffing and you're going, I'll suck his dick. He'll suck. And I know he'd know how to suck my dick. And we're. Me and McCusker are standing behind Phil Gillis. And Phil's standing there like a dad, like this. And you go, and I'm sucking his dick. And. And Phil goes, that's enough for me. And just turns around while you're like, suck. And dude, me and McCusker were like, Yo. Phil wasn't having that gay. It was one of the hardest I've ever laughed is watching him go. You go, and I'm gonna suck Tom's dick like this. And he goes, nope.

[Bert Kreischer]

One of my biggest memories of that night.

[Dan Soder]

That was a fun ass night.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I had to close the show. And by the way, it's the stuff I put on Lucky. The first probably 30 minutes of lucky is the. That show. And. And I. I. Lucky is one of my better ones. One of my. I think it's one of my best ones. And so it was really good. My. My material was pretty tight, and it was different than everyone else's. Shane's standing next to Michael Che. And he's talking to Michael Che. I don't know what they're talking about. And then I walk past and Shane looks at me and he goes, and I'm shirtless. This is at the after party. And I was like, what's up? He was like. I go, what? And he goes, you know, man, you're a fucking fantastic comic. And I went, oh, thanks. And he goes, no matter what anyone says about you, you're a fantastic comic. And I was like, what do they say about me? And he's like, no, I mean, no matter what, he's like the shirt thing, you know what I mean?

[Dan Soder]

Oh my God, that's so funny. So, yeah, that night was fun as hell.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was a dude. It's like, you don't get. I'm not gonna get many more of those in life.

[Dan Soder]

Well, I think the point of it is that you've got those.

[Bert Kreischer]

I have them.

[Dan Soder]

And you have like a lot of those. You have four red rocks. Like what we started talking about at the beginning, like, you got to do something. That's why I always say it's like, like there's this idea of what's next, that it's like, what's next? Look what you've got to do and lay it and enjoy that.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because I think what happens is, is our business. You rush to the next thing too fast and then you look back. I regret not soaking in billions more. Oh, like, that was a world class experience. I regret not soaking in the bonfire more. I regret not having more time. That's why this theater, my first theater tour, I've been very, very aware of, like every day we go out, I go, how cool. Ask him. He's been on the road with me every day. I'm like, how cool is this that this is our job, that this is what we do. And it's like, yeah, oh, I gotta be at the theater at 6pm and.

[Bert Kreischer]

Then I'm going to tour bus.

[Dan Soder]

No.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

We're doing rental cars. Which is.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's. You're saving a ton of money, probably.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, a ton of money. But it is a lot. It is like I'm driving five hours between gigs, getting there, doing it. It. I still love it.

[Bert Kreischer]

I look at you, look at those, like, favorite moments. Like I said to myself, because we did last fall, we did an arena tour. And then this year was supposed to be all arenas. And I said, I was like, it's a lot of stress in selling arenas. But I was like, I was like, yo, I'm doing I'm getting ready for a special. I should be doing two a night. I should be doing theaters. And in my head, I was like, I'll never have a problem going back to theaters. And then I did two theaters this weekend, and I was like, fuck theaters.

[Dan Soder]

Really.

[Bert Kreischer]

But it's. It's so funny because it's like, arenas are so. They're so easy. You wake up, there's bathrooms, there's every. There's a gate. You have catering. You have everything set up. And then. But. But I. But after doing the theaters, I was like, yo. And this sounds crazy, but, like, I go, my act needs theaters. Like, it's. It's. I've gotten to the place where.

[Dan Soder]

Well, then you'll see it sometimes where, like, I'll talk to Louie or something. And they go. Then you drop down into clubs and you. It's like, very close, tight, like, tightening it up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

But the thing that I said, especially with you and guys like you, Shane, guys that have toured with arenas, it goes, we've done it. Now you get to go back to theaters and go, oh, this is. Now we'll do two a night. We'll do four in a weekend. Yeah, like I said when you said the garden thing, I go, dude, you're doing the Beacon.

[Bert Kreischer]

To me, Beacon's a dream.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, Norman did two at the Beacon, and he's like, you want to do a guess set? And I was like, dude, this is my dream. Doing a guest set at the Beacon. Like, I'll tell you what's better than doing arenas is opening for your friend at Arenas. Because you go. You go do 10 minutes, and then I'm eating chicken fingies, watching Shane tell the cliffs, telling the cliff story. And I go, this is where I'm like, on the road with Shane. I go, this is the best. And what I told Shane is I was like, when. When him and I used to go on the road together, he would always go, this is the best. We're just. I. I get the feature for you. All we do is we write jokes during the day, we around at night. This is the best. He would always go, this is my favorite thing. This is one of those things where I look back and I go, what a cool witness. I got to be a part of something. Where Shane, when he started headlining, he called me, and in a very shame, where he goes, I hate headlining. And I go, why do you do it? He goes, I hate it because I have to do a whole hour. And they put checks out, and there's Too much pressure. I want to go back to featuring for you. And then. So he always used to jokingly say that. And this is as pandemic happened. So the pandemic happens. He blows up or whatever. And then now. And I go, thanks for letting me go back to featuring. And he goes, you son of a bitch. And I go, it's the best. I go in an arena, I get a pop because I'm a special guest. I do my. I just compact my best jokes. And then I go. And then now, sir, an hour in the arena, please.

[Bert Kreischer]

I would love to open for him.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, do it. You know how much fun it would be for you to be a surprise guest.

[Bert Kreischer]

Love to do that.

[Dan Soder]

Literally, Bert, it takes one text, and then they'll go, what dates you have available. Someone will reach out.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But more importantly, thank you for coming on my podcast, Free Bird is watching on Netflix. I'm very excited.

[Bert Kreischer]

I wanna.

[Dan Soder]

I wanna say this shot beautifully.

[Bert Kreischer]

Thank you. I. I did. So I. I made it. I didn't want it to be episodic.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I made it so that. I remember when I pitched it to Netflix, I said, I want to make black doves.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Bert Kreischer]

And they're like, what? I go, when you watch black doves or like, slow horses, you watch that first episode and you go by the. At the very last second, you go, I'm invested in this character. I want to watch the whole thing.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I've made it like that. So I hope you enjoy the first episode. And if you do, you will watch. I hope you enjoy the whole season. It's how many episodes? It's six episodes. It's an arc, so it's not episodic. It's not like Bert gets a birthday cake and then we get a new dog, and then the next episodes, we have a double date. You know, it's. It's. It's. It's not a sitcom in that it's a series and that it's an arc. And I'm. All I can say is, you know, I'm really proud of it, and I hope everyone enjoys it. And if you do and if you don't just play all six episodes, just.

[Dan Soder]

Does it go in the other room?

[Bert Kreischer]

Was it like. Wouldn't you give a little goodwill to a guy?

[Dan Soder]

Check out Freebird on Netflix. Watch all the specials. Go see him live on the road. It's.

[Bert Kreischer]

I Don't Party World tour. When's this come out? Next week?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, we're in the next two weeks. Yeah. One. There's one and then another one.

[Bert Kreischer]

Tampa, Duluth.

[Dan Soder]

When are you in Tampa?

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm in Tampa next. The 30th of January.

[Dan Soder]

Okay, I'm there. The. I'm doing the Tampa Theater February 14th.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, for real?

[Dan Soder]

I'm very excited.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, the famous. That's one. That's the best place in Tampa.

[Dan Soder]

It's Tampa theater.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's where the one. The last time I did this is how quick everything happened with Shane. The last time I did the arena, I'm doing this year.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Shane was at the Tampa theater and he had done two. He was like, I'm doing one.

[Dan Soder]

And he sell those out.

[Bert Kreischer]

He goes, can I come over and hang out? And I was like, yeah. And he came over. I think he was with McKeever. Yeah, I think he was. And he was like. We were hanging out in the tour bus, just drinking. He was like, dude, I was like, you're gonna be in this arena soon. He was like, all right.

[Dan Soder]

It was at the Garden. I think he's at the far. He's at MSG this weekend.

[Bert Kreischer]

I wish I was here for that. I'm in Austin this weekend.

[Dan Soder]

It's gonna be very fun. But you. You get a little. I get a little like, I want my friend. Friend. So he's like hanging out with like Seal and I'm like, hey, I want to talk to Shane. Get out of here, Seal.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, there is. There is a little bit of that. I'm sure that I'd be like that. It would be weird if I was like, hey, Shane, I'm working with. He's like so good, Bert. Hope your green room's good. And then he leaves.

[Dan Soder]

No, he's the man. I took a walk with him around an arena and I was like, dude, and, and. And very similar to you. You haven't changed since I knew you. Since you were doing. You know what? You're the same exact guy where we hung out and had lunch in Calgary.

[Bert Kreischer]

In Calgary when you were doing Yuck.

[Dan Soder]

Yucks and I was doing the Laugh Shop. And then I came and hung out and I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes. I was like, bert's about to be giant. We went to a bar. You had the whole bar bought out. Everyone came from your show. At Yuck Yucks. You got me a non alcoholic beer. Because you went, all you need is a non alcoholic beer. You'll be able to hang for like two hours. And I'm went, bert, I have a very low time in bars. You got me such a good non alcoholic bar. I actually remember That I went to the bartender and I went, did you give me a real beer? And he went, no. And he had to show me the non alcoholic. It was Clauster, I think Claude host. I'm probably saying the name wrong. And then I went, I want two more of those.

[Bert Kreischer]

Do you remember this night? Someone gave me a snowboard and the owner of the club asked if he could keep it.

[Dan Soder]

Yes, that was at Yuk Yuks. Yes, that was at Yuk Yuk at Calgary.

[Bert Kreischer]

He goes, he goes, hey man, I just want you to know that they've given you this snowboard. And I was like, cool. And he was like, but I figure it's going to be hard for you to travel with.

[Dan Soder]

Yes, yes. That was after we had lunch.

[Bert Kreischer]

Can I keep it?

[Dan Soder]

And I went, yeah, sure, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then I went, he's at lunch.

[Dan Soder]

Because you go should I have let him keep it? And I go, I don't know. It's a weird thing. You know what my response? I remember exact. We were having barbecue.

[Bert Kreischer]

We got so much barbecue.

[Dan Soder]

We got so much barbecue.

[Bert Kreischer]

A dinosaur rib was that.

[Dan Soder]

We got so much barbecue. And I remember my set.

[Bert Kreischer]

My.

[Dan Soder]

The thing to you to make you feel better is I go shipping and handling on that too much. And you go right, right. And then we both were like, but he shouldn't have asked for it.

[Bert Kreischer]

He shouldn't have asked for it.

[Dan Soder]

That was wild. You're the man.

[Bert Kreischer]

I love you, brother. Sa.