Podcast Summary

Podcast: Solutions with Henry Blodget
Episode: Kids Should Have a Driver's License Before a Smartphone
Date: November 3, 2025
Guest: Dr. Jean Twenge (Professor at San Diego State University, Author of “10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High Tech World”)
Host: Henry Blodget

Overview

This episode delves into the growing concerns about the impact of smartphones and social media on teens’ mental health, drawing on research and practical parenting strategies from Dr. Jean Twenge. The central theme is the need for concrete, enforceable rules around technology for children—in particular, why teens should not have smartphones (and especially, social media accounts) before they’re mature enough to drive a car. The conversation is filled with evidence, parenting stories, actionable advice, and a call for both parental responsibility and government intervention.

1. Why We Need Rules in a High-Tech World

[00:44; 02:00]

• Dr. Twenge asserts that because there’s little effective regulation of the Internet or social media, parents must become “the front line” in protecting children.
• Mere discussion with kids is insufficient, as social pressures and addictive algorithms are too powerful.
  • Quote: “There's so little regulation…parents have to be the front line...there's just so much social pressure and the algorithms designed to keep them online.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 02:00)

2. The Evidence: Smartphones, Social Media, and Teen Mental Health Crisis

[02:43; 03:41]

• Starting around 2012, Dr. Twenge saw marked increases in adolescent depression, loneliness, and feelings of worthlessness.
• Clinical depression rates doubled among teens between 2011 and 2019—even before the pandemic.
• Experimentation and time-series data now suggest more than mere correlation: reducing or eliminating social media leads to observable improvements in mood and well-being.
  • Quote: “Clinical level depression doubled among teens between 2011 and 2019. Also, the more time a teen spends on social media, the more likely it is that they'll be depressed.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 02:43)
  • Quote: “We have an adolescent mental health crisis. One of the primary causes is that teens are spending a lot more time online, a lot less time with their friends in person, and less time sleeping. That's a terrible formula for mental health.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 02:56)

3. Addressing Criticism: Correlation vs. Causation

[03:41; 05:50]

• Dr. Twenge explains the strength of the evidence, including natural experiments and recent controlled studies showing the benefits when teens reduce or quit social media.
• She acknowledges that 100% proof in science is rare, and decisions involve parental intuition as well as evidence.
  • Quote: “Everybody agrees it's really hard to prove anything, you know, a hundred percent in science...There's…difference between scientific causation and legal causation.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 05:16)
  • Quote: “I have met parents who have said, I don’t even care what the science says. I just know that when I gave my kid a phone...that’s not what I want my kid's life to be.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 05:39)

4. The Case for Regulation—And What It Could Look Like

[05:50; 06:47]

• Dr. Twenge supports age verification for social media accounts and robust enforcement of existing laws (like COPPA).
• She argues that the current legal minimum of 13 is not enforced, and her preference is to raise it to at least 16.
  • Quote: “I think kids should really be 16 or older to use social media…how about we just verify age even for that very low bar of 13?” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 06:01)

5. The 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High Tech World

[06:47; 18:03]

a. Major Rules Highlighted

• Rule 1: “You are in charge.”
  Parents must recognize and assert their authority, even if it’s uncomfortable.
  • Quote: “It's just we find it much harder to say no to our kids. You know, we want our kids to be happy. However, we need to think long term, not just short term.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 14:30)
• Rule 3: No social media until 16 or later.
  Maturity differences between 13 and 16 are significant. Five hours a day is common—far too much.
  • Quote: “Given the toxicity on the platforms, given that the algorithms are designed to keep people on them...the average US teen spends almost five hours a day using social media. That is way too much.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 07:33)
• Rule 8: Give your kids real-world freedom.
  Encourage independence in the real world (e.g., walking to school), while enforcing more boundaries in the digital one.
  • Quote: “We have massively underprotected kids in the online world and then overprotected them in the physical world. So we have to bring things back into balance.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 25:07)
• Rule 9: Beware the school laptop.
  School-issued laptops are hard to monitor, lacking parental controls and having open access to sites like YouTube.
  • Quote: “The school laptop is the bane of my existence. You cannot put parental controls on it, and it has YouTube on it.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 39:20)
• No electronics in the bedroom overnight (applies to everyone)—crucial for good sleep and healthy boundaries.
  • Quote: “That phone not being in the bedroom overnight should be it.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 42:16)

b. Concerns with Social Media

• Reduced sleep, impaired in-person social skills, increased exposure to disturbing/inappropriate content.
• Algorithms magnify the negative impact (“the algorithm works is if you look at it longer, it serves up more of it to you.” [08:29])

c. Laptop Challenges

• While necessary for schoolwork, unsupervised laptop use can undermine electronic boundaries.
• Teachers and parents struggle to keep schoolwork and distractions separate.

6. The Smartphone–Driver’s License Connection

[27:05; 29:52]

• Dr. Twenge recommends giving a smartphone only once the child earns a driver’s license, tying digital privilege to a tangible sign of maturity and responsibility.

  • Quote: “Give the first smartphone with the driver's license...it made so much sense to tie those events together, getting the driver's license and getting the Internet enabled phone.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 27:05)
  • Even without smartphones, kids can have non-Internet-enabled phones; they don’t “need” smartphones before the independence/freedom that comes with driving.

• Enforcement: Tie smartphone access to a single, clear, developmentally-appropriate event to avoid constant arguments about “readiness.”

• Safety: Reminds that the real world has always been seen as risky (notably, teen driving is dangerous) but supports real-world milestones as healthy coming-of-age transitions.

7. Striking The Right Balance: Digital vs. Real Freedom

[24:01; 26:49]

• Parents have become less authoritative, more permissive, partly because of prevailing individualistic values (“sea creatures” parenting styles: dolphin, sponge, shark, or fish).
• Dr. Twenge notes the best outcomes are seen in “dolphin parenting” (firm but flexible, loving yet structured).
  • Quote: “Authoritative or dolphin parenting is the best approach. Get to know your kids, show them you love them, tell them the rules. Because kids thrive on structure, even teenagers.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 22:53)
• Build resilience by giving kids unsupervised real-world experiences.

8. Addressing Peer Pressure & Cultural Arguments

[15:19; 16:16]

• Many parents worry their children will lose out on social connections or crucial skills if denied phones/social media.
• Dr. Twenge argues:
  • Social media platforms are designed to be easy to master; waiting doesn’t handicap a teen.
  • The loss of a common pop culture is exaggerated—memes and social references spread through many means, not just social platforms.
    • Quote: "You can learn how to use them in five minutes. If they don't use them up until they're, say, 16 or 18, that's not going to be a deficit." (Dr. Jean Twenge, 16:16)

9. Parental Challenges and Tech-Savvy Kids

[36:34; 38:45]

• Children often find creative ways around parental controls (e.g., sneaking the phone from the kitchen counter at night).

  • Anecdote: Dr. Twenge caught her daughter hiding her phone in bed—a one-time offense effectively resolved through a temporary loss of access.
    • Quote: “She ratted out her sister...That was the last time that that happened.” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 37:40)

• Parental imperfection is acknowledged: even experts get tired, busy, or slip up with their own digital boundaries.

10. Government Regulation: Is It Coming?

[40:35; 41:46]

• While Australia has begun to raise the minimum social media age to 16 (with verification), it’s unclear if the US will follow, though related legislation around pornography sites is making headway.

11. The One Rule Everyone Should Follow: No Electronics in the Bedroom

[41:46; 42:40]

• Keeping devices out of the bedroom at night is highlighted as the single most effective—and achievable—rule for healthier sleep and boundaries.
  • Quote: “A ton of research on this...you'll sleep better if that phone is physically outside of the bedroom after lights out. And also don't scroll on it right before bed. That's also really, really bad for sleep...” (Dr. Jean Twenge, 42:16)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "We have massively underprotected kids in the online world, then overprotected them in the physical world."
  (Dr. Jean Twenge, 00:44 / 25:07)
• "If it was just parents saying, hey, I don't like this stuff, we'd be having a very different conversation. Instead, it's that young people themselves are suffering..."
  (Dr. Jean Twenge, 10:53)
• "Give the first smartphone with the driver’s license...it made so much sense to tie those events together."
  (Dr. Jean Twenge, 27:05)
• "That phone not being in the bedroom overnight should be it."
  (Dr. Jean Twenge, 42:16)
• On enforcing rules:
  "If it's tied to an event, just like we do with driving, you have to be a certain age, and you have to have taken classes, and there's a definition for ready. I think we have to do the same with technology."
  (Dr. Jean Twenge, 29:00)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:44 — Dr. Twenge on under/overprotecting kids (balance needed)
• 02:00 — The need for parental rules in a low-regulation era
• 02:43 — Timeline and evidence on teen depression rise
• 03:41 — Correlation vs. causation in research
• 05:50 — Should there be government regulation?
• 06:47 — Overview of “10 Rules” and specifics of restricting social media until 16+
• 10:53 — Why this isn’t just old generational panic
• 13:55 — Parents must be in charge (assertive vs. permissive styles)
• 15:19 — Social/peer pressure arguments addressed
• 18:03 — Realistic boundaries as kids get into middle school (school laptops, phones)
• 24:01 — Parenting styles: dolphin, sea sponge, tiger shark, fish
• 25:07 — Rebalancing physical and digital freedoms
• 27:05 — Smartphone with driver’s license: rationale and family anecdotes
• 36:34 — Kids’ creativity in circumventing rules; dealing with pushback
• 39:20 — The problem with school laptops
• 41:46 — International regulation & minimum ages
• 42:16 — No devices in the bedroom: actionable, universal rule

Key Takeaways

• The combination of less in-person socialization, more online exposure, and lost sleep is at the root of the adolescent mental health crisis.
• Parents must set and enforce clear, concrete, developmentally-appropriate boundaries.
• Social media and smartphones are not essential teenage skills, and maturation—not peer pressure—should determine access.
• Tie digital privileges to real-world responsibilities (like a driver’s license) to provide clarity & avoid daily conflict.
• Maintain real-world freedom and digital boundaries; over-parenting should be reserved for digital safety, not physical independence.
• If you do one thing: keep electronics (phones, laptops, etc.) out of the bedroom overnight, for both children and adults.