Podcast Summary: Something Positive for Positive People
Episode: SPFPP 359: 23 Years of Grief
Release Date: November 19, 2024

Courtney Brain, the host of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP) Podcast, delves deep into a profoundly personal and transformative episode titled "23 Years of Grief." This episode marks a significant departure from the usual focus on herpes stigma and support, exploring themes of grief, mental health, personal growth, and the intertwining of her professional endeavors with her personal healing journey.

1. Introduction and Organizational Update

[00:01] Courtney begins by clarifying the timeline of SPFPP’s status as a nonprofit organization, correcting a previous misconception about its duration. She reflects on the inception of the podcast in 2017, initially driven by her observation of the severe emotional distress among people with herpes, including suicidal tendencies exacerbated by stigma.

“Our last survey that we conducted, we saw that 36% of people with herpes wanted to end their lives. And that sucks. That's really hard, man.” [00:45]

Courtney emphasizes the pervasive impact of stigma on individuals with herpes, defined as boundary violations, abusive relationships, and the challenging emotional navigation required when disclosing one's herpes status.

2. One-on-One Support Calls and Yoga Therapy Integration

Courtney provides an update on her one-on-one support calls, revealing that she has engaged in approximately 97 conversations through donation-based support calls. She shares a poignant story about a caller who experienced abandonment after disclosing her herpes status, contrasting it with a more positive interaction facilitated by meditation and mindfulness techniques inspired by her yoga therapy training.

“I listened to her, validated her experiences, and then we just kind of went into a meditation.” [12:30]

This segment highlights the therapeutic power of mindfulness and the practical application of yoga therapy principles in providing immediate emotional relief.

3. Financial Model and Nonprofit Challenges

Courtney opens up about the financial realities of running a one-person nonprofit organization. She discusses the donation-based model, expressing her commitment to making support accessible while grappling with the tension between needing funds and maintaining the organization's mission.

“I honestly would rather people give no dollars because then that tells me, okay, well, you just don't have it, you can't.” [25:10]

She candidly addresses the balance between service and sustainability, emphasizing the importance of contributions from those who can afford to give more to support those in need.

4. Personal Grief and Its Impact

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Courtney’s 23-year journey of grief following the loss of her grandmother on her birthday. Heavily emotional, Courtney shares how this unresolved grief has influenced her personal life and professional work, particularly her approach to supporting others.

“My grandmother is the person who fought for my mom to have me. Everybody around my mom wanted her to get an abortion.” [45:00]

Courtney describes how her grief manifested as unconscious behaviors and relationships, and how her training in yoga therapy and therapy sessions have enabled her to confront and process these emotions consciously.

5. Intersection of Personal Experience and Advocacy

Courtney intertwines her personal experiences with broader social issues, particularly abortion rights. She explores the complex emotions surrounding her own existence due to her mother’s decision not to abort, and how current political climates exacerbate her grief and frustration.

“Men do need to be able to talk about their experiences around abortion. Women would need to get abortions if it wasn't for men.” [58:15]

This section underscores the multifaceted nature of emotional wellness, highlighting how personal history intersects with societal debates and policies.

6. Integration of Yoga Therapy and Emotional Wellness

Courtney elaborates on her journey through yoga therapy training, explaining how it has provided her with tools to better understand and manage her emotions. She discusses the philosophy behind yoga therapy, emphasizing the balance between the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of self.

“Being in yoga therapy training program because I see like, oh shit. What I have been doing has been holding space for people.” [32:45]

Courtney underscores the importance of being present with one's emotions and facilitating others to connect with their inner wisdom, which has become integral to her support calls and podcast.

7. Reflections on Vulnerability and Authenticity

Towards the end of the episode, Courtney reflects on the essence of vulnerability and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in her work. She acknowledges the fear of being misunderstood or criticized but emphasizes the necessity of sharing her true self to foster genuine connections and support.

“This is what vulnerability is. My therapist was right, Derek, he was like, you're not really vulnerable.” [1:10:20]

She dedicates the episode to her grandmother, expressing gratitude for the strength and inspiration drawn from her memory.

8. Conclusion and Call to Action

In wrapping up, Courtney encourages listeners to engage with their own grief and emotional experiences. She invites feedback and emphasizes the community aspect of SPFPP, hoping that her vulnerability inspires others to explore their own emotional wellness journeys.

“Thank you, thank you for listening. And I would like for you to just let me know that you listened, let me know that you heard this.” [1:20:45]

Key Takeaways and Insights

• Stigma and Mental Health: Courtney underscores the dire mental health implications of herpes stigma, highlighting the urgent need for supportive communities and open conversations.

• Grief as a Journey: The episode poignantly illustrates how unresolved grief can permeate various aspects of life, affecting personal relationships and professional endeavors.

• Holistic Healing through Yoga Therapy: Integrating yoga therapy into her support framework has provided Courtney with effective tools for emotional healing, both for herself and her listeners.

• Financial Sustainability of Nonprofits: The challenges of maintaining a donation-based nonprofit are candidly discussed, emphasizing the balance between mission-driven service and financial viability.

• Intersectionality of Personal and Social Issues: Courtney’s personal narrative seamlessly intertwines with broader societal debates, demonstrating how individual experiences are shaped by and reflect larger social dynamics.

• Vulnerability as Strength: Embracing vulnerability is portrayed as a powerful means of fostering genuine connections and facilitating meaningful emotional support.

Notable Quotes

• On Stigma:
  “Stigma is... boundary violations, abusive relationships, the feeling when someone has a discrimination reaction after having had sex with you, knowing that you have herpes.” [05:20]

• On Grief and Healing:
  “I have been stuck, and the last two weeks... it's been the hardest birthday time frame that I have ever had.” [1:00:10]

• On Vulnerability:
  “This is what vulnerability is... saying the things that might get you canceled, that might impact your income, that might make you hated.” [1:15:30]

Conclusion

Episode SPFPP 359 serves as a heartfelt exploration of Courtney Brain’s personal grief and its profound impact on her life and work. By intertwining her journey with professional insights from yoga therapy and mental health advocacy, Courtney provides a rich, engaging narrative that resonates with listeners navigating their own emotional landscapes. This episode not only offers updates on the SPFPP organization but also invites listeners into a deeper conversation about vulnerability, healing, and the complexities of living with stigma.