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- [00:00]
Courtney Brain
On you. The audio on my phone is plugged up. But yeah, that was some very. Alignment is the word that I'm leaning into now. Just staying in alignment. Right. Like operating from a place of just tapping in, checking in with my internal battery, God, universe, source, whatever it is that we want to call it. Because yeah, the things that fell into place for me to leave sooner, I was just like, huh, why not? Right? And I did. And yeah, I had a friend who, a childhood friend, he passed away. We had tornadoes go through southern Missouri. I don't know exactly what year, but my best friend, we were all mutual friends. I was like, hey, what happened to whatever happened to Nick? He was like, oh yeah, he went to go visit his dad and it was during the time of the tornadoes in Joplin. So I forget maybe this might have been like 16, 17 years ago, but I think about that from time to time, you know, whenever I hear tornadoes. I'm not going to say like I'm traumatized or anything, but yeah, just that's been heavy on my mind since yesterday learning about the devastation caused by the tornadoes.
- [01:16]
Tasha
So yeah, Effy, very interesting. And you know, you, you even just highlighting that 15, 16 or 17 years, right. Like roughly around that time frame of he had passed is interesting because we actually have just come out of a 16ish year horizon around some really deep core wounding. And when you think about. And when I say core wounding, I think that's like such a popular term, you know, like everyone's got core wounding. Like what does this really mean? And this one specifically speaks to, you know, this wounding around authority, this wounding around. Almost like when you think about your legacy and your backbone and when you also think about enduring suffering. So almost as if like, where has the quiet suffering been really stuffed in? And where has that also subconsciously then dictated how we choose to behave? And when you think about mortality, right, and you know, you're a scorpio, you actually have a scorpio stellium. So you're a pretty scorpionic person. Mortality becomes more of a spiritual exercise. You know, it's the idea that do you have a comfortable relationship with death? And it's not to say that, you know, we're talking about suicidal ideations, but we're talking about the comfort with transience and we're comfort with once you do leave this plane, what happens? And the idea that there is an eternal sort of connection, you know, that connects us all. Even so death becomes more meaningful as you kind of go through your life. So it's interesting, you Bring that up especially, you know, if I were to just think, like, for you, this is in your 10th house. You know, this is work, this is legacy. This is how you show up in the world. So this is actually a really important experience that enables you to show up even more intentionally, actually, when you've integrated that fully.
- [03:15]
Courtney Brain
Yeah. So I want to let you introduce yourself and then do like a little intro. But. And then I want to start with what you just shared about just like mortality and death. Because over the last. It's been two weeks, I've really been deep diving into just something that led me there. Like, it was just a genuine curiosity about not necessarily death, but life and how to live life. Like, looking for that and me being able to find that in the behavior of atoms. And you and I have spoken about this a little bit and I've talked about it on a previous podcast episode. But tying it all together, after you introduce yourself, how you would like to be introduced, and then we'll go into that.
- [04:03]
Tasha
Fabulous. Yeah. I was just thinking, you know, we're something positive for positive people. It's like death immediately. So there's. There's that flavor. But yeah. Thank you for having me for this conversation. My name is Tasha. I go by at the Agent of Pluto or at the Popastrologist, depending on how you're finding me. I have two sides. One more entertainment and educational, whereas one is more spiritually informed. And I am a practicing astrologer. I've been a professional full time astrologer for, well, since summer of 2022 and maybe 10 years or nine years before that. I was actually on Wall Street. Started out in investment banking and then moved into hedge fund sales and institutional sales and then decided to really change my life and involved in my own spirituality and as well as the business of other people's spirituality. I guess.
- [05:01]
Courtney Brain
I didn't know that. No, I did not know. I just thought you did this. I thought this was you. Like, you just popped out and you were doing tarot readings before you could use words.
- [05:15]
Tasha
That is the highest compliment for my, you know, imposter syndrome, or imposter like self. But thank you. I appreciate it. I mean, for what it's worth, I do feel like I have been a metaphysical, intuitive type of person, you know, in past lifetimes. Like, I personally believe in reincarnation. I believe in, you know, the soul. Choosing your plan. I believe we're here to kind of continue where we've left off and continue to build on and alchemize. So again, there's never any judgment with sort of like what you choose to do with your life. It really is. We all have an energetic toolkit at our disposal, and we get to tap in whenever we want, you know, never. It's never too late to tap in.
- [05:58]
Courtney Brain
All right, well, I feel like I just got to know you a little bit. Welcome to Something Positive for Positive People. I'm Courtney Brain. Something Positive for Positive People is a 501c3 non profit organization supporting people who are navigating stigma. The new expansion of just dropping the word herpes is for us to really be able to be more present in the fact that what we do mostly is identity validation. It's centered around that through presence. The yoga therapy, yoga classes, the stigma support groups, the men's group, these are all just useful resources and tools, including the podcast, of course, and giving people identity validation and a practice of being present so that we can just heal from what stigma does, which I believe is fragment elements of our identity. And the whole thing is bringing ourselves back together through presence. On May 23, we have a herpes dating and disclosure webinar you can attend. It's at 7pm Central Time. It'll be about two hours. It'll be recorded. So if you can't make it, you can get the recording access. I just need you to register. This is on the events tab of Something Positive for positive people's website, spfpp.org all right, and now going back to the conversation I think we were leading with death.
- [07:24]
Tasha
Yeah. Just as all fun conversations start, you know.
- [07:27]
Courtney Brain
Yeah. So, all right, we'll pick up where we left off in regards to death. And then what I'd like to just go into is, like, how you and I met and how we ended up connecting and what led to the appropriate alignment for this podcast episode. But starting, I guess, with the death thing, as I've been looking at the behavior of Adams, I've seen that in our conversations, in our sessions that we've had, like, there's some sort of a connection between the micro level of the way things work and the macro level of the way things work. And then there's like a cosmic level of the way things work. And whenever you and I have a session, you have this chart that's pulled up that looks very similar to the anatomy of an atom, which looks similar to, like, the globe behind you, the sphere behind you. And I'm very much like diving into what atoms do. And essentially they don't die, their energy. And energy is not created or destroyed. It just continues to be like, that's all it does. It just needs to be. And I've been. Yeah. Just investigating that and looking at what death is. Right. The idea is to remain in alignment through the body and as an expression of consciousness for the sake of just being kind of like how the sun is. Right. Like, the sun is its own, like, star atom with an orbit with planets that have developed out of electrons becoming useful and with purpose and like, they've become their own atoms. So looking at just the creative process has given me a sense of peace in what happens with these atoms that make up what is the vehicle of expression, as Courtney. And it's also just informed the way that I do my work now as well. And, yeah, that's where I want to leave off in regards to the death conversation, because it's just nothing ever really dies is what I got.
- [09:44]
Tasha
And if Pharrell had it. Right, Right. Like, no one ever really dies. And what you just said is so incredibly important to the cornerstone of my practice, actually. So, you know, as I said, I'm an astrologer, right. But everyone has a different way of viewing the world. It is very much like art. Just because it's there, it doesn't mean that it has meaning on its own. We give it meaning. And that's why it's so important that people find astrologers who, you know, they vibe with, they trust, because everyone can give you a different opinion. So my opinion is that astrology is a language that I use to describe said energy that you just spoke of, because it is rooted in the principle of energy cannot be created nor destroyed. It can only be transferred and free form. And this is something that we've all. We all, regardless if you believe in astrology or not, regardless if you believe in metaphysical religion, whatever. We all went to high school, I would like to hope, and we all got this sort of basic physics 101. Energy cannot. Matter cannot be created or destroyed. Right. Like, it will only transfer in form. And so for me, when I think about that, conceptually. Right. You apply it to death as well. And you think, okay, well, after the physical density form is no longer of use, the soul moves on to another chapter, and energy is therefore transferred. It's the same thing about reincarnation where I'm choosing to come into this lifetime, the soul, and I am picking up the energetic thread from the past lifetime so that I'm still picking up the lessons, the habits that I'm working through it. I'm only looking to transfer it now. This is where it Also gets really interesting because death obviously doesn't have to mean, you know, you are literally gone physically from this plane. We talk about death a lot in the context of ego deaths, and I think that's where it can be also really helpful to the stigma conversation. Like, what is ego death? Right? You hear that term also a lot in pop. Pop psychology on Instagram or your social media. But when you think about an ego death, you are on some level rewriting the story and about the attachments you have at that time. And stigma is a really big part of that, because it's the idea of what identity wound am I attached to, what shame am I attached to? What story have I told myself about what I needed to do at a time that warranted it, that now I feel embarrassed about, that has now kept being a meaningful part of my identity. Like, what can I actually put down from it? What can I actually let die from it? So on some level, to die is to transform. And I think Octavia Butler wrote this in Parable of the Sower, God is change. And part of this is death.
- [12:38]
Courtney Brain
Looking at death as death of selves, or even somebody says, like ourselves, die regularly, right? But looking at the idea that atoms are energy, right? And energy and emotions are energy and emotion, whatever. When we look at how our body creates new cells, like, death is almost the obstacle or the pathway of newness, recreation or regeneration. It's all these things. And it's not a bad thing, right? And even how you talk about ego death, I think about the death of my own ego. Having gone through a lot of deaths, in a way, grieving the loss of relationships of people in my life, the loss of attachments, of identity. I think to this day, one of the hardest things I had to do is no longer be an athlete. And there were so many attachments to that. Even because going through high school, playing football and then becoming a college football athlete, like, for four years, and I red shirt it. So for five years, I had an identity as a college athlete that the transition into the real world, no one prepares you for that kind of death because that version of you no longer. Or me. Let me just speak from my experience. That version of me no longer served me in the real world because a lot of what I went into, like, I didn't have a team of people who understood what we were working towards. There was nothing to work towards with other people. There was no more coaches, there was no more mentors, no more guidance. And you go from being a teammate to, like, now you're in A whole new game of life. As an adult, you don't really get much of a assist into the starting process. And I think had I been prepared for that depth of myself, maybe the. My whole life trajectory might have been different. Not to say I'm not grateful for those experiences, but I think about the death of identity in various stages of life as we enter new phases.
- [14:53]
Tasha
Oh, absolutely. I think sometimes people don't even, I think, pause to recognize the shift that's happened. And so on some level, you can kind of go into this autopilot mode, right? And you hear people say, like, oh, my God, like, years have passed and all of a sudden, like, wait, what am I even doing? Right? Because when we get so attached to a particular, again, story we are telling our. Which is what I will lump into, you know, whether it's stigma, whether it's ego, like, these are all, again, different stories that we so creatively tell ourselves that seems impossible to break out of when the reality is, it's showing. Hey, there is maybe a subpersonality or maybe there was a version of ourselves, again, that has emerged that identifies with this chapter of our life that we needed to learn skills from, that we needed to learn experiences from. And here's the thing, it's not bad or good experience. It's just I needed to learn this experience that will be very valuable in helping me in my next path, in my next chapter. Even if this physical form no longer holds, like, the. The message and the lessons are what are the most important thing. And so, you know, it is. It is very interesting, I think about also, like, when you and I met, going back to, you know, what you were saying earlier, like, we met at a. I forget. It was the documentary, I think, right? Yeah, we were at a. Oh, my gosh. Why is the name eluding me right now? Remember, no shame in the game. Yeah, no shame in the game. Yes. And you know what was really funny was I remember that was still a time where I was still coming into this new identity and having to kind of like, understand how to tell my story, how to own this new version, how to not feel, you know, oh, my God, I feel like I've just, like, given up this whole other life. Like, there's a lot that goes into it. But on some level, you know, when you find yourself with people who are more comfortable sharing and opening up about some, you know, maybe of their more vulnerable moments, it kind of creates this opening to go, okay, yeah, you know, everyone. Everyone has their own thing that they're battling. Everyone has Their own grief. Everyone has their own shame that they're battling. And it's really, I think, think when you get to talk about it, when you have safe spaces to share and feel. Wow, really? I'm not, I'm not that alone actually. Like, change is good. And I can kind of see that here because I would have never met you, I would have never met you in a different world, you know what I mean? Like, if I were still so tethered to that identity, I wouldn't have even showed up. Right. Like, it just would have been a totally different dynamic. But now that I've been able to come into it more firmly, it's like, okay, you have to really take action. And it's, it's kind of like, like atoms and fish. Right? Like, they always had to keep moving. Like, you always just kind of have to keep moving a little bit and kind of rock and flow with whatever new identity you're in. It doesn't mean you're trapped by an identity. It means you're here to keep expanding and stretching the limits of what that identity could look like. Which is amazing, I think.
- [18:00]
Courtney Brain
Yeah. And what's so cool about when we met was like, I saw you're doing, you're doing readings and I was like, oh, yeah, I'll do this, check this out. And you said things that were like, is. I guess you didn't, you didn't know what my role was or anything.
- [18:16]
Tasha
Yeah.
- [18:17]
Courtney Brain
Made it so wonderful because you're like, oh, like, I see. I forget what you said, but there were things that you saw and I was just sitting there like, oh, she has no way of knowing, like, me or what I'm doing. Except she's tying this, whatever it is happening right here to when I was born and where I was born and the time I was born. Can you, I don't know, like, can you explain, like, what that connection is? Like, how does your work as an astrologer, like, tie into knowing so much about a person? And the reason that I want to ask this for people listening is because I want to uplift and amplify useful tools for self discovery for people being able to get connected to their identity and decide, does this align for me or does this not align for me? And it's really about empowering people with choice. And so what I feel like I got out of our readings is more of a layout of the land beyond what my perception of things are. And in your giving me that, you didn't tell me what to do, you just kind of told Me what was going on and gave me what language I didn't have access to, to be able to just kind of, like, walk my path and understand, okay, well, here's the lay of the land. Even if it's not, like, in my language, over here, it might be a little wet. Over here, it may be a little, like, unseeable. Over here, it may take a little bit of something different. So, yeah, just what's happening? What it is that you be doing?
- [19:57]
Tasha
Yeah, I'm like, cue the Julia Roberts meme, you know, where she's, like, going through and trying to solve, like, a brainstorming math equation. The mind is a beautiful place, but, you know, it goes back to energy. At the end of the day, you know, we talk about energy again, never being like, I'm gonna keep reiterating this principle, because, again, this is like a very core, core, core principle. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only transferred in form. Yet we all kind of pick up on energy. Like, when we walk into a room, we know the. We know if the vibe is off, right? If it's a good vibe or a bad vibe. Again, what I do is trust what energy is coming up, and I give a name to it, and I kind of pull at the slender threads, if you will. And you might call that intuitive. But, like, what I would like to say is I combine my intuition and trust in what is coming up between us to then inform where I should be guided. And so we look at symbols, we look at charts. We look at the natal chart, specifically, as an astrologer. So the natal chart is basically a snapshot of where the planets were at your time of birth. And each planet carries a symbol, carries a meaning, carries a different interpretation. There is a psychological function with the planet. There is the motivation or how we go about it with the signs. And then we think about the houses, where these things play out. So on some level, it kind of is like a math equation. There are only so many things that you can really pull. I mean, there are infinite things you can pull. But if we were to trust. All right, what is this energy that I'm picking up on here? It's almost like when you. I don't know if you've ever gone to, like, an illusionist or a mental. Like a mind reader, like one of those magicians, you know, and they, like, put two people in the audience, like volunteers, and they're like, they're not really part of the show. They're volunteering, and yet they somehow are able to, like, pick up on what the Other person is saying there is natural energetic transference with all of us. There's a reason why we're more attracted to some people. You know, why we feel repelled by some people. Energy, again is very real. And so what I do is essentially read the energy of the room and read the energy of what you're bringing to the table.
- [22:12]
Courtney Brain
And how much of that is you having a clear understanding of yourself and your own identity, your own energy, so that it's not, I guess, cluttered.
- [22:26]
Tasha
That's actually a really good question. I think, to be honest, that is something that does take a lot of discipline for myself, like, and that's why for me, it's very important in my practice. I don't speak for other astrologers. Other astrologers do their thing and they're brilliant. I. It's something you pointed out earlier. I don't tell you what to do. I don't tell you if you should do this or you should do that. I'm not. I kind of stay away from that, that. Because I like to empower people to make choices that feel good for them. And we live in a society enough that tells people to do a lot. Like we. There's a lot of shoulds imposed on people. You know, I'm not really trying to add to that white noise. I'm again, trying to help you cut through that white noise yourself in maybe a safe type of space. Yeah, I mean, but, you know, sometimes ego gets in the way again. You kind of realize, oh my God, what is this person reflecting back at me? So there's this whole other thing as well, right? Like everyone that you're attracted to or everyone that comes into your orbit, and every. Everyone that your energy pulls to you has a specific reason or has a specific resonance. And a lot of times you're going to pick up on some mirroring that comes through. And a lot of the times, I think this is what I said in our sessions, people can. You can attract people, but you then get to identify if this is someone, whether you should be working with someone you should be dating, someone that should be a friend, someone that resonates with you. Does it resonate with the story I've told myself over and over again that I'm trying to move away from, or does it resonate with, you know, like, do I still resonate with that? Like, I have an active decision I can make here. So my whole thing is about empowering and allowing people to arrive at decisions on their own based on how they feel their energy is speaking to them, because we all actually can feel it if we maybe take a second to.
- [24:22]
Courtney Brain
Pause and think, yeah, I love your terminology that you're using. You're using the word orbit and attract and the. Again, like, the anatomy of the atom is so like, spot on to what you speak to here. Just with the way that people, atoms, things engage with one another is. It is like an ongoing field of drawing toward one another for the sake of bonding or taking whatever lessons and becoming, you know, more of who we are, making the changes necessary to just be. And as this relates to stigma, as it relates to identity is I kind of see this. The weight of attraction, the way that attraction works is the idea of alignment. Right. What's for you? Right. Knowing, matching your beliefs with your behaviors. And then what you'll see, like beyond that is a manifestation of your consistency. One thing that I've learned about atoms and the way that they engage is that electrons are. Are drawn to the nucleus of the atom, which is a positive force. So the nucleus is the positive force. The proton and the neutron are there, and then the electrons are drawn in and they begin to orbit based on the attraction or basically the rhythm or consistency of one being in alignment with themselves. So I always say, like, your behaviors and beliefs, when they are in alignment, you will see that reflected around you. And everything that comes into your orbit is either going to. It's going to validate what your beliefs and actions, like, push out. And anything that is not consistent with those two things I want to say just kind of falls to the wayside. Right. Like, and our whole job here is really to operate from a place of presence, to recognize, okay, this stays, or I can let this go. But there's not really any doing or forcing. It's just existing and engaging appropriately from there. Is that. Is that kind of. Is that accurate?
- [26:45]
Tasha
Yeah, I. I actually really like that because I think in a society that really emphasizes so much doing, you know, like, so much active doing, there is. Is such a need to understand I actually don't have to do that much. And it's not saying don't work hard. Right. Like, these are two different things I'm saying. But maybe people conflate them, but it's the idea that if I'm genuinely interested in doing something, something lights me up. Something's like a passion project, for example, Right. Like, I'm gonna want to work hard at it, but I'm gonna naturally just keep doing what I do without, like, feeling like I am trying. Right. Like, because it's part of the Joy, it's part of the process. It's part of just. Just being in flow. Like, I wouldn't be doing anything else like this. You know what I mean? So. But what I would challenge you is sometimes contrast does get introduced. And when you think about, okay, these are the things I'm sorting through, things I like, things I don't like, and the contrast that comes in is helping you or helping inform you of, hey, maybe you actually get expanded needs, right? Maybe your needs are even a little too restrictive right now. Maybe something better comes through. And again, it's always this fine dance, and it all. It all rests in, yeah, I would like that. No, I would not like that. And even just having preference, right? Like having the belief that I get to say this and then something will meet that is also really difficult for a lot of people to wrap their head around, you know? And that's really, ultimately the heart of manifestation. It's aligning intention with active doing. You keep doing what you're supposed to be doing in the path of it. And then ultimately, when you arrive at, let's say, like a checkpoint and someone tells you, well, maybe you're doing something wrong, it's more asking, how does this still fit with the consistent vision of what I'm hoping for myself? Rather than how do things look as part of the process, is an important thing to keep in mind.
- [28:45]
Courtney Brain
And that speaks to just presence, right?
- [28:48]
Tasha
Absolutely.
- [28:51]
Courtney Brain
Even in our bodies, like, I almost feel like our nervous system is a compass for what direction we're going into. Right. The idea of the being triggered, right. Fight, flight, freeze, foreign response, I think is one. I don't know that up. But those five, and these are all just like your visceral reaction to the intensity or flooding of. Of whatever is happening in your body that causes you to have this, like, boost of energy to do something with. And what I encourage is the forward response. So fight, flight, freeze, spawn, forward. And all that is is an acknowledgment of that surge of energy, knowing, okay, this was caused by this thing. And I'm going to choose to do this with this excess energy. And it that you choose to fight, it may be that you choose to flee, but also it could mean that you choose to behave in a different way. Maybe you choose to, okay, you get a herpes diagnosis, and you know that this is gonna suck. And every time you think about that, you get triggered. Maybe you decide to, with that excess energy, write it out. Just write. Maybe you choose to just go outside and scream. Maybe you do something with that excess energy. And so, like, that's what I. That's what I think about when. Oh, man, I was trying to tie that back to what you said. Damn.
- [30:22]
Tasha
No, but. No, no, no, but actually, it was. It's really. It's really. It's really powerful what you said, because I remember when I saw Full Disclosure, like, I got my herpes diagnosis. Like, I forget even when at this point, lol. Yeah. You know, like, I got my herpes diagnosis, like, for a Virgo, it feels like. And I remember feeling so much shame. And then you think about the slut shaming and all. If you are a young woman in New York City who is active on the dating scene, this is probably at that moment, oh, my God, the worst thing. And I remember being engulfed in all of this shame. And I remember, actually, funnily enough, at our documentary event, I never necessarily unpacked that feeling through astrology, because I felt on astrology a few years after that point, and using the astrology to unpack it, it was kind of really interesting on some level. A lot of the shame came from this fundamental place of a lack of self love for myself. I'm not speaking for everyone else. I'm speaking just for myself. And if you identify with that, amazing. And if you don't, maybe wonder if you're triggered by that also. Right. I realized I did not love myself. And on some level, now I actually really value my herpes diagnosis because every time I do too much, I do too much, I do too much. I naturally do too much. It is what it is. But whenever I do too much, my herpes cold sores will, like, flare up or like a rash comes up, and it would kind of be like a moment of, oh, okay, I actually. I really need to rest. I really need to stop. I really need to. And so it's kind of like evolved my relationship with it, you know, this idea of, wow, it's not something that's shame. It's actually something that is giving me sort of this nurture and set. Hey, it's okay to, like, stop. It's okay to not do things anymore. It's okay to just chill for a second, take care of yourself, show yourself the love that you're hoping from other people, and then, like, go on with your day, you know, or, you know, spend a week out of public.
- [32:31]
Courtney Brain
Yeah, the. The thing that I want to point out is episode 116, I believe it is. The spiritual significance of herpes, I think, whatever it's called. And as we were talking about this, I Read an article online, and that's all linked on that episode. A lot of people find that because they Google herpes and spirituality, like, looking for some kind of meaning through their diagnosis. And one of the things that I consistently see talking to people is oftentimes we stay in places that we shouldn't be way too long. Like, I think about when I got herpes, I stayed in a relationship that I shouldn't have been in. Or for some people who've been like, I knew I shouldn't have had sex with this person. I knew we should have had this conversation. I knew, like, everyone in hindsight is like, I should have known better. And so this is, in fact, something that can be a teacher for us, like, oh, I shouldn't have messed with that married person. Or I knew that they were. And it becomes like an entanglement of our own inconsistent behaviors with what our true beliefs. Beliefs are. And I see that being like the common thread of people getting a herpes diagnosis. Right. And the shame that's associated with all of the negative emotions, from shame to guilt to anger to, you know, disappointment, sadness. Right. The whole bundle of those emotions is really because we're not behaving like ourselves. Or maybe there's like an unconsciousness to whatever our behaviors are that are inconsistent with our beliefs. And what herpes does is it just really redirects us or what stigma does if we let it is it just kind of causes us to just drift out there and maintain some sort of a consistency in the gravitational pull of stigma. Where to do is just be able to be present in that and ask, okay, what am I learning from this? What are the inconsistencies between what I believe about myself and what I'm doing? And oftentimes some grounding is what we need. So I'll tell people, hey, tell someone close to you who knows you outside of your diagnosis so that they can validate your identity outside your sexuality and then work from there. Who are you to these people who have known you for much longer than you've known yourself as someone with herpes?
- [35:01]
Tasha
Oh, absolutely. I think, you know, we're. Again, we're the crew. We're the greatest creative entities, you know, even if we don't think we're creative, right? Like, we're all so creative. It's creativity in the way we convince ourselves that we're unlovable. It's creativity in the way we make excuses for why someone else is not going to treat us with respect or, you know, give us what we want, which is Love and recognition, right? And so, yeah, I think what I really love doing in my practice is, you know, I say to people all the time, I don't care if you cheat on someone. I don't care if you fool around. Like, I don't care like what you choose to do with your life, save for like, you know, deciding to like commit genocide or like, you know, abuse actively. Right. Like, I, I basically always have room to investigate. And what I always find is we blame. We like blame like, like people so much. You know, we like judge people so much. But I'm just like, realistically, we all come from someplace. We all had to survive our families somehow. And a lot of times that survival mechanism of how we choose to survive family regardless of the family environment was great or was sufficient or non abusive. Right. Like, you didn't have to literally survive family, but emotionally you might have had to adjust. And therefore that survival comes in these reaction, these sort of fight or flight responses that you're talking about. So when you get a diagnosis, oh my God. In on some deep, deep level, right? Depending on your relationship with fam. Oh my God, what's mom gonna say? Like, what would mom have said? And you kind of go back to that place or you know, even when you were like an, an early teen or a tween in high school, right. When you were socializing, like when you did something embarrassing and then having how people respond, right. Like, all these are really formative experiences that mark cornerstones in how we then choose to operate. Right. So I've always kind of never felt good about when people said, oh my God, she's got daddy issues or she's like a mommy issues. I'm like, we all have mommy daddy issues. Like, be so serious. If you don't, you are actually insane. Because I call bluff on that. Like, that's incorrect. And I think on some level it should be a conversation about not what's wrong with you. But I wonder how we got to this point. And let's talk about that. And that's really what I choose to focus on in my work. It's not about what you ultimately, like, I don't know what you want to do, what you don't want to do, but what you feel empowered or not to do. Like kind of resetting that mindset a little bit.
- [37:40]
Courtney Brain
Yeah. Is that sort of what you. Metaphorically speaking, I'm talking from my experience, right? We communicate. You sort of paint the picture of the environment that, you know, spiritually speaking, this is what you're seeing. And Then as you're painting that picture for me, I'm able to see myself in the room with what you're sharing that you're seeing. So how your sense of self, your energy is clean and you're like, like examining the energy that is now in your space, which is me. You are drawing that into our shared space so that we together can like, look around here and see what's happening and name it. And that seems like the best way that I can put what.
- [38:34]
Tasha
Yeah.
- [38:34]
Courtney Brain
Experienced. All right. Is that what's happening? Like, is there any way to like, reset?
- [38:39]
Tasha
Yeah.
- [38:41]
Courtney Brain
Make sure that it's clear, like what you can do through what you've done for me and how people can find, you know, a sense of identity, you know, through that. Like, you're not telling me again, you're not telling me who I am. Like, you are pointing out tendencies, you're pointing out what might be happening for me according to what you understand, the blueprint of my being. And it's up to me to piece the dots together and take actions accordingly.
- [39:12]
Tasha
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Again, every astrologer has a different practice. And you know, it's not to say some clients don't prefer me to just soliloquy through and kind of do this channel message and tell you about you and circumstance. Right. But I will say that, like a lot of my work is going to invite a little bit, you know, a little uncomfortable. Right. On some level, if you are not necessarily ready to have a more self aware type of conversation. Because usually when someone comes in and it's, you know, they're talking about like, let's say, a problem with their partner or they're talking about a problem at work and it's all about other people. I'm very quick to kind of zone in and go, okay, so we've just spent this whole time talking about someone else. Let's talk about you and let's talk about why you feel this way about how people are treating you. Because. Because it doesn't matter about this person. At the end of the day, astrology works as a study of time and patterns. So it's the idea that, okay, well, if you get out of this situation, you remove it physically, you're still going to run into the same energetic type of situation. You're always going to magnetize your wounds to you. So the best thing I can do is offer in my mind again the spiritual landscape or what this moment is calling for, or what this moment is really trying to, to ask of us. And we all have different Intentions and different goals. Like, some people, kids is great. Some people, they don't want kids. Right. But it's the idea that both are viable options depending on their customized or inherent spiritual blueprint. And so I illuminate options. But as long as you're consistent with that, I guess, spiritual undertone or what it's asking for, then you can kind of see the magic happen. Personally. Yeah, it's kind of actually cool. I don't know. This is definitely some metaphysical stuff. This is definitely, I think, under the umbrella of alternate holistic therapy, self care, however you want to put it. But again, I always say to people, even if you don't believe in this type of stuff, I, again, believe in energy, as we all do. And so we're all just. Just figuring out different ways of identifying it and working with it to our benefit.
- [41:27]
Courtney Brain
Yeah. And I like how you sort of gave the disclaimer of, you know, it's not. I don't know how you said it, but what I heard was, it's not therapy. But I like the alternative options because, one, some healing modalities are not as accessible. Others, people may not believe in or agree with. They may not resonate. But one thing is for sure is that the options are there. The options are there. I know people who will never tell their therapist that they have herpes because they don't want their therapist to look at them differently, which is weird because you're there for yourself to be open with your therapist.
- [42:04]
Tasha
It's a real thing. It's a real thing. I think I saw this thing where, like, if your therapist is too attractive, like, people get really uncomfortable also sharing because then they, like, get in their head about it, like, which is actually really funny also.
- [42:18]
Courtney Brain
No, that is. That is actually because how are they. How are they going to help? And, like, are you just paying for sessions to see them?
- [42:26]
Tasha
Right, right. You're just looking at them like.
- [42:31]
Courtney Brain
How. How are you? Oh, my God. He asked me how I am.
- [42:34]
Tasha
Oh, my gosh. It's actually kind of funny because I think, like, when I was first, you know, I was first, like, like, starting out, and I would be out in the city in New York, and, like, you know, I'd have guys, like, come up to me and, like, I'm with a partner. So it's like, not that I would entertain any of this, but it would always be really funny because, you know, you're out in a bar and you're talking, and for me, I'm interested in talking about energy and astrology. So it'll naturally come up in conversation. And literally I would have like male clients who sign up actually. And I swear to God, I think I'm like bait and switching them or something. Because then like we have a session, right? And you know, when we go into a session, it's not like light hearted chit chat. It is like, let's talk about how we might be people pleasing and let's talk about the ways it shows up. Let's talk about the ways, like we self censor. Let's talk about these ways, right? And it's like uncomfortable. But again, if you're like serious about the work you want to do, this is, this is soul enriching. This is like what you want. Fine. But if you're looking to just like look at my face, then this is like the worst nightmare possible.
- [43:40]
Courtney Brain
Yeah, yeah, I, how, how common is that?
- [43:47]
Tasha
It used to be more common. And then ultimately again, we just talked a whole lot about energy, right? Because I would have to then admit part of my energy probably was leaking out out some of that. I need that validation. And I'm not, you know, again, this is part of the job, right? Like I have to call myself out on things when I. So that I can understand. It's calling myself out so that I can better understand. So that when I look at it in a chart and talk to someone, oh, okay, well, I've done that. And I know exactly like how you alchemize that and I know how to go through it and where that comes from. And there's no shame in it, right? There's literally no shame in this game. It really is. Everything that you have experienced in your life is actually such valuable fodder in helping someone else. Regardless if you think that's your purpose or not, Whether it's literally a conversation you have with the person who bags your groceries or the person that changes your oil or whatever, if it's a literally two second passing conversation and you're sharing about a difficult experience you went through and you talked about how to work through it, you probably change someone's life, you probably help someone out more than you think, and you probably cultivated a deeper sense of purpose even without realizing it. So we all carry these stories within us, you know, and again, it's about how we reclaim and tell these stories that kind of really gives that power back to us. And so now energetically, I don't really attract those people anymore. I track people who like actually want like soul work, you know, and so it's, it's kind of cool to see who comes through as well. Because again, everything is energy and everything is magnetization.
- [45:22]
Courtney Brain
And how did you get to a point of just not attracting the kinds of people that you don't want to be attracting? Like, is there anything that you can say specifically to that for maybe someone who is actively looking around and they're like, why do I keep seeing this kind of person? Why do I keep getting this kind of energy? Right? Like, what's a good point for someone to look and go, okay, well here's where I can take ownership. This is a thing that I need to look at.
- [45:55]
Tasha
Well, I mean, personally I carry an obsidian blade if, you know, I'm very scorpionic that way. So again, energy is real, right? And so the, that helps cut through some bullshit for me when I'm, you know, almost like a protection. But if I'm talking about like even mindset shifts, right? Like this really does come from a place of feeling empowered to say no, no and not being afraid to be viewed as the bad guy because you believe that you're not the bad guy for saying no. Like it comes from this deeper place of someone can ask something of you, Someone can always offer up something. Like what I said with the identification, right? Someone can come to you, present the story of who they are, and on some level you always have agency to say sure or that doesn't resonate with my vibration. Thank you for coming. Thank you. Next. So there is less again, feeling like I have to placate or let play small because I kind of realized this funny story or maybe not so funny. People ask me this all the time how I ended up in astrology. And I actually, you know, sure, it was a big life change and I was very depressed at the time and I wanted more meaning. But why it came about was I actually had gotten like sexually harassed at work, like multiple times over by like different men from different. Literally in one week, like MDS analysts. Like all of a sudden it was like open season and I'm like, what is going on? Like, why am I attracting all of this? Like, I'm not trying to do this, I'm trying to do my work, I'm trying to do these things. But I had to like be so serious, you know, When I kind of got really serious into my self development, I was realizing that I actually leaked out a lot of this victim energy. Energy that I did not feel like I had agency or I did not feel like I had a seat at the table. Especially women working in finance, you're kind of like proving Yourself in all these different ways, but you're, like, proving yourself in environments that don't want you to be there, really. And so then it kind of created these deeper questions, like, well, okay, why am I here then? If I'm trying to just perform, and if I'm performing and it's meeting this type of gaze, then that's really not what I'm about to. And so, you know, on some level, right, like, you have to be really honest with yourself around why you do the things you do. And as you said earlier, the external will always reflect back what you are trying to do on some level. And it's not to say like, there will not be a happy ending. Things are work in progress. But for me, I know that that was such a significant part of my journey. Now. I wouldn't have been who I am without it. And for that, I am so incredibly thankful that I got sexually harassed point at this, that point. Because I would have never left. I would have never broken out. I would have never felt such shame, like, such lowness, to the point where it was like, no, what I like, I proved myself at work. I am a really hard worker. I like, gave myself all these things, and now I'm allowing someone else to dictate how I should be feeling or dictate how I feel. Incorrect. No, thank you. I just got tired of it, honestly. And I think we all kind of hit different breaking points. But I do think that maybe this is a hot take. You don't get to that point without being broken a little bit. And it's not because the universe hates you, but because it loves you so much. It's saying it's giving you some tough love, and so that you can actually take a lot more ownership.
- [49:26]
Courtney Brain
So back to atoms. I look at the behavior of atoms that are stars and the way that these form is through, like, a nebula gas that's super hot, and there's a lot of pressure build up before they actually become the atom that behaves in the way that atoms do. And a lot of the formation of atoms and stars and all of that is through that pressure, that heat. And that's often what we experience in emotions, right? So we essentially are getting the beat out of us and the unconscious world of what our behaviors, our beliefs are manifesting for us through traumatic events, through harassments, through getting herpes, through maintaining relationships that aren't benefiting us. And eventually it guides us to, okay, I don't want to do this anymore. And then from there, we find some sense of. Of purpose. Or anchoring. And then we begin to gravitate towards that. And that becomes like our activation, if you will. Right. The positive charge of the thing that drives us to do different then becomes our purpose or what it is that we are committed to our intention. And now we're protected as long as we're able to remain connected to that intentionality in our little nucleus that filters in what is for us and what we're constantly attracting. And we have the power to, like, stabilize what it is that we bring in. What's useful, identity, what's supportive to our intention. We begin to just stabilize that in our own little planetary orbit as if we're our own sun. And the planets revolving around us are people, places, things, environments, opportunities, challenges. And that's really what. That's what I just heard, like, I just heard that, like, analogy there of get the shit kicked out of. You want to do something different, and then you just begin to trust the process of creating from what your grounding, foundation, and intention is.
- [51:43]
Tasha
Oh, absolutely. I think this is why sometimes, you know, when people are like, should I help them? This person, like, should. This person is ruining their life. And I'm like, yeah, maybe you need to let them a little bit, I don't know, like me, you know, like. And here's the thing, sometimes we only celebrate the. The founder journey, the entrepreneurial journey, the I broke out of the Matrix journey, when there is, like, a success, you know, like, to mark that. But we don't celebrate the liberation from the Matrix Matrix of your own suffering or your own depression. Like, it is kind of insane. And for me, you know, I'm always like, listen, like, people can do what they want to do. You have the freedom to be who you want to be. And that I think is the greatest type of love. And so to me, it helps me also inform how I want to love people. That, okay, you can go and explore and do these things, but, you know, when you up, it's tough. Like, I'm not saying I'll be there all the time, but I am not here to judge you. I'm here to support you when you need that help. But I'm also not here to tell you what to do with your life. And when people think that they have agency in dictating how someone's life should be, that's where I think there's like a judgment problem and an expectation problem. But it's really like, more on that person rather than you, you know?
- [52:57]
Courtney Brain
Yeah. And I guess that's like the, the. A good way to sum it up, it's just we got to let people up. We got to let people make their own. Their own intention. Like we're formulating our own intentions through our mistakes, through our failures, through our lessons. And what's most important is that people are able to take from that. I can use myself as an example and then if you are more than welcome to like, give a short cut summary of it. But for me, yeah, just getting thrown around with where I identified with stigma in a variety of ways. Just utilizing the dating site for people with herpes, being in relationships because a person was okay with me having herpes like that, that turned into so many more things that it have to, but that it had to for me to be able to find my way home into an intention. Because now I have the experiences in language that, that a lot of other people have that may become attracted to me and to something positive for positive people that if I didn't go through those experiences, I wouldn't have the language to be able to connect with these people and give them what it is that they would come here for, which is some sort of grounding, some sort of stability so that they can find their own anchor and then go off and do their own things. I had a very beautiful moment where I saw a podcast, like clip get posted and I shared it and they reached out to me like, oh, hey, thanks for sharing. One of our hosts actually was on your podcast and felt inspired to talk about her own herpes story and start this podcast. And I was just like, oh, I'm so flattered. And atomically speaking, right? Like, what atoms do is we draw into our orbit and then our orbits draw in electrons that go on to form their own, like, orbits around other atoms that do their thing and creates other, like, systems of things. And this was just such a beautiful full circle moment to just witness that something else was created that was inspired by this space that people regularly come here, contribute to, take what they need from, and they go on about their business. But to just hear that it was, it was a beautiful full circle moment. So, like, what about you and your case?
- [55:29]
Tasha
Oh, my gosh, what about me? My case? You know, I think, I think it's like kind of the joy I get when I, like, hear people share in sessions, you know, like, who they were and then how. And now how they've arrived at this, this place and even seeing, you know, oh, like this is how I used to think about myself and now I, I think about myself like this. And the kicker is, you know, you can feel energy. Energy doesn't lie. That's the thing. I. My thing is words will always lie, but energy never lies. And so you feel when someone is saying something authentically, you feel when someone is saying something, like, with their whole chest. And so for me, those are usually, like, the greatest, like, kind of, like reminders of, like, why I do what I do. You know, on some level, it's like, oh, my God, you saw me. In a way. No one saw me. And now I get to, like, go do, like, what I need to do. Like, for example, I had a friend who. She was a. She was in corporate. You know, she kind of started coming to me when I was starting out, and she was just leaving corporate, and now she's like this badass as founder of this, you know, fertility insurance company, right? And she really went to go. She, like, went for it, and we worked together to help her go for it in that way. And it's just so powerful to see what you can actually create, I think. I think this whole experience has just given me more confidence that, like, the universe is actually supporting you in what you want to do. And energetically speaking, like, it will always attract what you fundamentally believe about yourself. And so on some level, you know, what you. What you even said earlier, right? Like, I was with someone who had herpes, who accepted me, but maybe I stayed a little too long. And on some level, like, what is then the story you're really telling the universe about yourself and what you believe about yourself? I'm willing to settle for this because I don't believe I can ask for more is really what you're saying. And so once you realize, actually, you know what? I do want to ask for more. Never mind that that's why the universe is kind. At any given point, you decide you want to ask and ask for more, no judgment. It says, okay, so show us, and all you need to do is act right. And so then you see the effect. You see this flow, almost like, okay, yeah, something good's happening here. It doesn't feel stuck. It doesn't feel like this is running into this. It just feels like there is a natural, again, energetic flow. And actually, I was inspired to be an astrologer after I got my first chart reading. Like, truly Pooja Robinson was the astrologer who read my chart. And I found her on Instagram because, you know, straight vibes. And I remember feeling, holy shit, no one's ever seen me like this. And at the time, I knew I needed something like that. And I didn't even know I needed something like that, you know, Like, I didn't even know what this person could tell me. Like, cool, tell me some fun stuff. But it just. I didn't expect it to hit so deeply into my soul and. And basically now all I want to do with my life is, hey, let me, like, see you, so that you can see yourself. Because you don't see yourself clearly, maybe.
- [58:36]
Courtney Brain
And that's what something positive for positive people is and represents. It's. The word positive doesn't mean, like, happy or good. It means present. Like, it just. That's all it means. It just means present. And to be seen is to share presence with someone in a world where our. Our phones probably get way more of our attention than anything else, whether that be you looking at your bank account, calling somebody, texting somebody, scrolling social media. People are not seen. And we're not in a regular practice of seeing one another. And presence is just dying because it's being sucked out of us through the algorithm and we're not connecting with people more so in this space, in our being as we come away from this. Right. I want for people who listen to the podcast who find something positive for positive people to recognize this as a demonstration and expression and a practice of being present. So I thank you for your presence and for, you know, being seen and wanting to pass that along to see others and for your work with me and just seeing me and especially in a time where I. I needed it. I needed it. I hadn't been feeling seen for a long time, and a lot of it was my own fault and I didn't recognize for myself, like, how much of my own doing that was and coming through on the other side of this, like, between you between yoga, between therapy, between talking to friends, between going home, like, all of these things combined, I believe, have helped guide me a lot more efficiently to where I need to be, where as it might have not been as efficient if I would have just kept doing what I was doing. So thank you.
- [60:29]
Tasha
Oh, that's so sweet. And thank you for. Here's the thing, right? Like, again, these are not easy conversations. And so on some level, you know, sure, like, we could have a light combo, but at the end of the day, like, these conversations invite some soul exploration and some depth. And, you know, I think that's why the universe is so beautiful, because it always kind of presents people or circumstances in our line of sight when we are just barely ready for them. But we are, you know, it doesn't mean that we're Not. But we're barely ready. But we are. And when we kind of take that, that invitation or answer that call, it can kind of really open up a portal into something totally different. When you talk about timeline jumping and shifting, like, this is what people mean, essentially, this is the energy work that goes into it. You staying embodied in what you want and need and recognizing how it correlates to the outer world and then going, okay, what can I switch now so that I can get something else, so I can attract something else? So, yeah, the universe is working in your favor at all times. And as a special thank you also for inviting me onto the podcast, you know, if you are interested in a session with me, I am happy to honor a special discount, my friends and family rate, which is $150 for a session. If you are a pod. If you are podcast listener, you should just put that in your notes when you book a session. Yeah, I just, you know, would like to. If you're interested and curious, especially about, like, what this could look like, that's a pretty hefty discount.
- [62:06]
Courtney Brain
Thank you. Thank you for the offering, thank you for sharing, and again, thank you for being here. I would like for you to let people know how they can find you again before we go.
- [62:17]
Tasha
Oh, amazing. Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram again. I have two accounts. One is Agent of Pluto. That's Agent. Like, well, agents having a bad rep these days, but Agent. And then my other account is hepopastrologist, where if you're interested in more pop culture breakdowns. I do look at pop culture through the lens of astrology, but there's Also my website, adrianofpluto.com I always love talking to people in my DMs, too. So you're more than welcome to reach out if you have any questions about what you might have heard today on this podcast as well.
- [62:53]
Courtney Brain
All right. Is there anything else that you want to leave us with or anything that, you know, you don't get asked and maybe you would like to be asked?
- [63:01]
Tasha
Sure. I was going to say, I mean, I think we are actually at a very interesting time in the collective right now around personal rebirth. And, you know, we talked a lot about ego death early on in the episode. And what I will say is on some level, we've all been going through different forms of that ego death, different areas of our life. But nevertheless, the, you know, Jan through well, yesterday really was this full blown incubation type of process that is going to prepare us for this next 20 year chapter, give or take. So on some level, if you find yourself like, oh my God, I'm, I'm winding down relationships, I'm getting out of relationships, things aren't going according to plan, things feel like they're in flux, things, you know, are in limbo and what am I going to do next? You're totally right on time. It is totally okay to feel how you're feeling. And the most important thing is to not go into fight or flight, but to ask yourself, okay, how does this make me feel right now and what would I like to do next? You're not being asked to think about the 10 steps. You're just asked to think about the next step that actually lights your fire. So some, you know, hopefully helpful advice or resonance to who might be listening.
- [64:14]
Courtney Brain
Thank you. All right, that concludes this episode of Something Positive, Positive for Positive People. Please, like, rate, review, share, subscribe to and donate to Something Positive for Positive People. Again, as we're shifting into more of the stigma forward conversations, you can expect more of useful conversations and resources that are going to help us with integration. Again, stigma fragments and the idea is to incorporate presence into our day to day life in a way that allows, allows for us to defragment ourselves or integrate those parts of ourselves holistically. May 23, Again, we are going to do the Herpes Dating and disclosure workshop virtually 7:00pm Central Time. Please join us for that. And again, it'll be virtual. And people, can I keep calling it a workshop? I mean, webinar. So you just watch, you listen to me talk, I'll pause it. We can join up and, and share some conversation and then we'll go back to the recording and then at the end of it we'll just kind of shoot the. So, yeah, it'll be good. Right now we have roughly 45ish people that are coming, which I'm surprised because I, I don't do things like this for myself. Oh my gosh, don't tell me. Courtney, just do this yourself because I'll do it with other people. And yeah, like 80 people show up and I was like, why the don't I do this myself? So. And just. So, yeah, it's free, but if you can donate, I invite you to. Or if you want to wait and see what value you get out of it, you're more than welcome to do that. But I'm doing it regardless. As well as the Tuesday yoga classes that'll be on YouTube live. I need to figure out how to show people that. Oh, just thought about that. Yeah, just, just if you if you're interested, let me know and we can figure out a way to get that to you. Because the YouTube thing is new for me. I just realized that I have access to it for free as a nonprofit, so I want to utilize it. And then we have the stigma support meeting virtually. That is the second Monday of every month, 7:30pm Central Time. I'm doing things in a way that I can be consistent. So, yeah, just join up if you're curious or interested, like get on the emailing list, which is the newsletter, and I'll send out the updates to that through there. All right. Till next time, stay present.