Podcast Summary: SPFPP 375: Queering Masculinity - From Performance to Presence

Podcast Information:

• Title: Something Positive for Positive People
• Host: Courtney Brame
• Episode: SPFPP 375: Queering Masculinity - From Performance to Presence
• Release Date: June 12, 2025

Introduction and Context

In episode 375 of Something Positive for Positive People, host Courtney Brame delves into the intricate relationship between masculinity and queerness, exploring how traditional notions of male identity are being transformed through the lens of queer experiences. This episode coincides with Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month and Pride Month, providing a timely backdrop for discussing the intersectionality of stigma and identity.

Intersection of Men's Mental Health Awareness and Pride Month

Courtney begins by acknowledging the convergence of Men's Mental Health Awareness Month and Pride Month, highlighting the often-overlooked intersections between male mental health and queer identities. She emphasizes the importance of addressing these overlaps to foster a more inclusive and supportive environment for all individuals.

“It's something that have not spoken on myself... Men’s Mental Health Awareness month. It is also Pride month.” [00:30]

Personal Identity and Core Values: Challenge and Liberation

Courtney introduces herself as a cisgendered heterosexual Black man living with herpes, an experience that has significantly shaped her understanding of stigma and identity. She identifies two core values—challenge and liberation—which, while seemingly contradictory, complement each other in her journey towards self-acceptance and advocacy.

“My values, I've condensed them down to two. And they might seem a little bit contradictory, but they definitely con. They, they complement one another.” [04:00]

Fear of Success and Leadership in Advocacy

Despite her pivotal role in the non-profit sector, Courtney admits to a profound fear of success. This fear stems from observing how leaders in various movements, such as Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., navigated their public personas and the ensuing challenges. Courtney reflects on the potential repercussions of increased visibility and leadership within her advocacy work.

“I have not paid myself through the non profit in 2025... I think that I have to do this because... my existence is really not validated based on how I feel and what I value.” [02:00]

Integrating Intersectionality in Advocacy

Drawing inspiration from Dr. Donna Oriowo’s presentation at the ASEC conference, Courtney discusses the critical need to incorporate intersectionality into advocacy efforts. She shares her experiences engaging with diverse groups, from Trump supporters to die-hard liberals, using herpes stigma as a unifying platform for collaborative efforts to minimize stigma across various intersections of identity.

“Being at that conference, it was very affirming to me, as a straight man, be in these spaces, learning from queer individuals.” [16:45]

Queer Spaces and Their Influence on Masculinity

Courtney elaborates on how participating in queer spaces has reshaped his understanding of masculinity. He contrasts the traditional, performance-oriented view of masculinity—where value is measured by accomplishments and performance—with the queer perspective that prioritizes presence, emotional wellness, and authentic self-expression.

“So much of masculinity is doing. It's about what you do, what your accomplishments are... But queerness is something that I see that directly challenges the status quo.” [25:30]

Performance vs. Presence in Masculinity

Expounding on the differences between performance-based and presence-based masculinity, Courtney highlights how queer spaces emphasize intangible qualities such as kindness and emotional intelligence over measurable achievements. This shift from “doing” to “being” fosters a more holistic and liberated sense of self.

“There's no metric. So as a man coming out of the sports world... there is no metric.” [27:15]

Overidentification and Fragmented Identity

Courtney addresses the dangers of overidentifying with specific aspects of one's identity, such as masculinity or sexuality. He explains how overidentification can lead to fragmentation and a diminished sense of wholeness, advocating instead for a balanced integration of various identity facets.

“Overidentifying with masculinity just means inherently leaving out aspects of self that are not masculine.” [45:50]

Community and Collective Action as Solutions

Championing the power of community, Courtney asserts that collective action and mutual support are essential in combating stigma and societal divisions. He proposes innovative, non-traditional forms of activism that focus on presence and connection rather than confrontational methods.

“Community is the cure for all of this. Community is the cure for herpes stigma. Community is the cure for these corrupt ass politics that we have to endure and live in.” [58:40]

Embracing Queerness: Challenges and Liberation

Throughout the episode, Courtney shares his personal journey of embracing queerness within his heterosexual identity. He discusses the liberating impact of queer relationships and communities on his understanding of self, relationships, and emotional safety.

“I've found that being able to stay with family, being able to stay with friends... that's cool. But like, a home to me is not where I rest my head... it's where my identity is validated.” [49:50]

Call to Action and Conclusion

In his concluding remarks, Courtney urges listeners to engage with and support queer communities as a pathway to personal and collective liberation. He emphasizes the importance of being present, fostering emotional safety, and embracing the ongoing processes of healing and self-discovery.

“I want to challenge y' all. If y' all got queer friends... also allow for that to be something that liberates and challenges me.” [1:05:20]

Courtney wraps up the episode by reinforcing the mission of Something Positive for Positive People: to minimize stigma across various intersections through conversations, healing, and authentic presence. He invites listeners to participate in support groups and stay connected through the organization’s resources.

“We minimize and stigma across the board at all the areas of intersection that we can through conversations, through healing, through being.” [1:10:00]

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• On Core Values:

  “My values, I've condensed them down to two. And they might seem a little bit contradictory, but they definitely con. They, they complement one another.” [04:00]

• On Queer Influence:

  “Being at that conference, it was very affirming to me, as a straight man, be in these spaces, learning from queer individuals.” [16:45]

• On Performance vs. Presence:

  “So much of masculinity is doing. It's about what you do, what your accomplishments are... But queerness is something that I see that directly challenges the status quo.” [25:30]

• On Community as a Cure:

  “Community is the cure for all of this. Community is the cure for herpes stigma. Community is the cure for these corrupt ass politics that we have to endure and live in.” [58:40]

• On Embracing Queerness:

  “I've found that being able to stay with family, being able to stay with friends... that's cool. But like, a home to me is not where I rest my head... it's where my identity is validated.” [49:50]

• On Call to Action:

  “I want to challenge y' all. If y' all got queer friends... also allow for that to be something that liberates and challenges me.” [1:05:20]

Conclusion

Episode 375 of Something Positive for Positive People offers a profound exploration of how queerness can transform traditional masculine identities. Through candid reflections and insightful discussions, Courtney Brame highlights the importance of presence over performance, the power of community, and the liberating potential of embracing diverse identities. This episode serves as a compelling guide for listeners seeking to navigate and heal from the fragments of stigma that impact their sense of self and relationships.