Something Positive for Positive People: Episode 383 – "My Story"

Host: Courtney Brame
Date: August 30, 2025

Episode Overview

In this special, deeply personal solo episode, host Courtney Brame shares his story—from his herpes diagnosis to the founding of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP). Courtney details the physical, emotional, and identity-shifting experiences that shaped his journey. This episode is aimed both at those considering reaching out for support and anyone seeking understanding of how stigma, shame, and presence intertwine in the healing process.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intentions for Support Calls & Presence (00:02–03:30)

• Courtney’s Approach: Courtney begins support calls by asking people what they hope to gain, helping them clarify their needs and intentions.
• Value of Being Witnessed: The act of being listened to and witnessed can be profoundly decompressing for those reaching out.

“I always notice sort of depressurization whenever I have a call... People just kind of feel lighter, right?”
—Courtney (02:40)

2. Diagnosis Story & Immediate Aftermath (03:30–15:30)

• Diagnosis Details: Diagnosed with genital HSV-2 in 2013 after experiencing severe physical symptoms.
• Family Response: His mother and grandmother were supportive but also assumed blame outwardly. Courtney felt relief when former partners said they did not have herpes—it was more about not having passed it on than finding who gave it to him.
• First Relationships Post-Diagnosis: The dynamic of acceptance (“if you got it, we got it”) shaped how he made relationship choices.
• Pamphlets & Lack of Useful Resources: Medical brochures provided statistics but didn’t address the loneliness or need for community.

“If the idea is to make me feel less alone, why would you tell me, ‘Oh, there’s a million people over here that have this thing,’ and then I’m like, okay, well, I’m looking… and it’s just a bunch of strangers, right?”
—Courtney (13:45)

3. The Effects of Lifestyle: Nutrition, Movement, Stress (15:30–26:00)

• Impact of Life Changes: Transition from active college football player to sedentary office worker disrupted his health and likely precipitated outbreaks.
• Nutrition & Exercise: Poor diet, lack of movement, and stress were key factors.
• Stress Management and Purpose: Having a clear “why”—like playing football—had anchored him. Losing that purpose led to feeling adrift and ultimately created conditions (physical and emotional) for HSV symptoms.

“…herpes is a nervous system condition… our nervous system will try and communicate something with us, and we won’t get it until it’s physical…”
—Courtney (24:12)

4. Herpes as a Messenger: Identity, Stress, and the Nervous System (26:00–36:00)

• Physical Manifestation: Herpes became a physical signal of deeper neglect—how he wasn’t managing his emotions, stress, identity, or relationships.
• Loss of Anchor: Without football or a bigger goal, he “floated,” which led to further disconnection from self.

“When I lost focus on a sense of purpose… when I lost my connection to that, when football was done, I think that’s where we can say I lost my anchor, and I just kind of floated around, and that was it.”
—Courtney (29:37)

5. Relationships, Rejection, and Patterns (36:00–42:15)

• Post-Diagnosis Relationships: Pattern of using acceptance (from partners with herpes) as a shortcut to intimacy, avoiding personal work around rejection and loneliness.
• Personal Growth: Recognizes repeated relationship dynamics where his sense of self was conditional on others’ acceptance or demands for him to change.
• Advises Listeners: Believes those who aren’t comfortable with one’s status should be listened to—don’t seek validation at the cost of self-worth.

“If you—somebody right now—even if you thinking about reaching out or you pondering this, it ain’t worth... Ain’t worth it. So when that person tells you that they can’t do this, believe them when they say they can’t do this.”
—Courtney (40:45)

6. Embracing Identity: The Power of Presence (42:15–47:45)

• Yoga & Mindfulness: After years of struggle, yoga philosophy and mindfulness practice provided language, tools, and grounding for navigating identity beyond physical symptoms or social roles.
• Intangible Identity: Now identifies with qualities like curiosity, creativity, challenging and connecting—which cannot be measured externally.
• Metaphor: Compares his role in stigma healing to the sun: just as the sun transmutes hydrogen into light-giving helium, Courtney transmutes herpes stigma into healing.

“All the sun does is transmute hydrogen to helium, and in turn, we get light, heat, and gravity. So what Courtney does through Something Positive for Positive People is transmute herpes stigma into truth.”
—Courtney (45:33)

7. Founding SPFPP and Building Community (47:45–End)

• From Support to Podcast: Discovery of the dating app Positive Singles connected him to others’ experiences (including suicidality related to herpes), leading to the birth of the podcast in 2017.
• Nonprofit Work: In 2019, SPFPP became a nonprofit, helping dozens access therapy and providing ongoing support for the HSV+ community through reflective dialogue and shared presence.
• Call for Intention: Hopes that sharing his story allows those reaching out to reflect on what they want, making support calls more effective.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Herpes became a physical manifestation of information that my nervous system had tried to communicate.” (26:08)
• “What Courtney does through Something Positive for Positive People is transmute herpes stigma into truth... I take all this negative and I take the positive from it, and I just do it in a way that’s out loud so that people can orient themselves and a way where they can experience the warmth, they can experience the light, they can experience the gravity.” (45:14)
• “The nature of a thing is more important than the form of a thing.” (48:55, referencing a quote from the video game God of War: Ragnarok and its impact on his self-perception.)
• On support: “Should you reach out for a support call or you attend a support group, let’s make sure it’s about what you come for.” (02:30)
• “Having herpes really did impact me—not just the physical symptoms and my relationship to sex, but it made me have to ask these hard questions about my relationship to my identity and who I am.” (44:24)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:02–03:30: Approach to support calls, power of presence
• 03:30–15:30: Diagnosis story, family, early relationships
• 15:30–26:00: Lifestyle/factors leading to outbreak, health, and stress
• 26:00–36:00: Herpes as a messenger, nervous system and identity lessons
• 36:00–42:15: Relationship patterns and advice on self-worth
• 42:15–47:45: Embracing intangible identity, personal philosophy
• 47:45–End: Journey to founding SPFPP, nonprofit work, closing encouragement

Tone & Style

Courtney’s delivery is raw, direct, and vulnerable—mixing lived wisdom with nonjudgmental guidance, honest humor, and gentle encouragement. The episode is personal and reflective, eschewing pity or self-help platitudes in favor of practical insights and soulful questions.

Takeaways for the Listener

• Shame and stigma can fragment identity, but presence and intentional self-reflection can foster healing.
• Physical health, emotional wellbeing, and purpose are intertwined—ignoring one affects the others.
• Healing is ongoing—a process of embracing the intangible qualities that make us whole, not just managing physical symptoms or chasing acceptance.
• Support is available, but it’s most powerful when you know (or begin to know) what you hope to receive from it.

For more stories, resources, and upcoming events, visit SPFPP.org.