Podcast Summary: SPFPP 403: Courtney's 13 Year Herpes Anniversary
Host: Courtney W. Brame
Date: March 23, 2026

Overview

In this heartfelt solo episode, Courtney W. Brame marks his 13th "herpes anniversary," reflecting on personal growth, the importance of community, recent in-person support events, and the ongoing mission of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP). The episode offers a candid look at his own journey with herpes, the value of support and presence, and what's next for SPFPP and its podcast listeners.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Marking 13 Years with Herpes

• Courtney opens up about his "herpes anniversary," which occurs each March 23.
• Revisiting old Facebook messages brought up feelings about who may have given him herpes, but ultimately, he lets go of lingering uncertainty and focuses on moving forward.
• "I ain't hardening on it." — Courtney, [01:07]

2. Recap of the Herpes Stigma Expo (Brooklyn, NY)

• The inaugural in-person Herpes Stigma Expo had about 30 attendees, described as a “day long retreat in the form of a support group.”
• Components included:
  • Opening support group session for sharing and questions.
  • Documentary screening of Jolene Hernandez’s No Shame in His Game, followed by a panel discussion.
  • Simulated conversations around sexual health and disclosure, with videos forthcoming.
  • Ends with “craft your disclosure” exercises, adapted to meet participants’ needs and energy.
• Positive feedback and desire for future expos expressed by attendees.
• "I do intend on doing more of these herpes stigma expos, not just in New York, but around the country." — Courtney, [04:28]

3. Reflections on Community, Event Planning, and Engagement

• Challenge of matching event venue size to attendance; hopes to find size-appropriate venues in the future.
• Encourages listeners seeking in-person support experiences to sign up for the SPFPP newsletter, which is now the primary means of communication, given his retreat from regular social media use.
• "If you are listening to this and you decide that you want to be part of any kind of in person support groups, you gotta subscribe to the newsletter." — Courtney, [07:30]

4. Living with Less Social Media

• Discusses the positive personal impact of stepping away from social media—better memory, creativity, presence, and an increased quality of attention in his work.
• Draws a distinction between being “engaged but not present” versus prioritizing authentic presence in interactions and support.
• "I've been prioritizing that for myself and being able to deliver a greater quality of support on the calls and in the support groups … since getting off social media." — Courtney, [11:04]

5. Personal Growth, Singlehood, and Owning His Experience

• Shares his current life stage—fully “single single” after a period of relationships and semi-dating.
• Confronts challenges of making the podcast feel personal without it just being a "diary," while recognizing the importance of sharing lived experience.
• Describes a dream in which he was reminded of the impact he has on others and his tendency to “over-calibrate for humility.”
• "I don't see myself how other people see me … I think I over calibrate for humility. So it's not to come off as arrogant." — Courtney, [16:20]

6. The Purpose of SPFPP Podcast Moving Forward

• Renews commitment to making the podcast a space defined by real, personal herpes experiences.
• Acknowledges that while guests provide valuable perspectives, he is also a person with relevant stories and lived expertise.
• Refuses to perpetuate stigma by featuring anonymous guests who aren’t comfortable being ‘out’ about their status.
• "This podcast is for people who are actively going through it … people who are looking for the experiences of people who have herpes. And I'm a fucking person who has experiences with herpes." — Courtney, [17:35]

7. Practical Advice: Disclosure and Dating

• Shares his routine approach to disclosure with potential partners, emphasizing normalization and open dialogue.
• Notes a lack of recent first-hand disclosure experiences due to not actively dating.

8. Focus on Output, Not Outcome

• After 13 years, he’s learned not to attach to outcomes but to focus on what he contributes (output).
• Podcast output will prioritize sharing his own stories when guests are unavailable or prefer to remain anonymous.

9. How to Stay Connected and Supported

• Repeats the importance of the newsletter for event updates and ongoing community engagement.
• Acknowledges continued demand for support: around 70 monthly support call sign-ups, even if not everyone participates right away.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I ain't hardening on it." — Courtney, reflecting on past relationships, [01:07]
• "This was essentially a day long retreat in the form of a support group." — on the Stigma Expo format, [02:25]
• "People were feeling like overwhelmed … the combination of the various emotions that people were experiencing, these were all things that I wanted to acknowledge and make space for as well." — Courtney, [04:41]
• "I've gotten all these creative ideas. My memory done got better, y'all, since getting off social media. And I. I'm grateful, I'm very grateful for this state that I've entered." — Courtney, [11:33]
• "I can't be so focused on the outcome … So it's output over outcome. And I think that after 13 years living with herpes, that's what it's about." — Courtney, [22:34]
• "If y'all get nothing out of this, like, I hope that the recap of the Herpes Stigma Expo was good and that you just have an idea what to expect moving forward." — Courtney, [26:16]
• "Stay present. Stay present." — Courtney, recurring theme and closing sentiment, [28:04]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:03] — Intro and reflection on herpes anniversary and Facebook discovery
• [01:30] — Brooklyn Herpes Stigma Expo event recap
• [04:25] — Processing attendee emotions and adapting event activities
• [07:30] — Importance of the newsletter for those seeking in-person events
• [11:04] — Impact of leaving social media and practicing presence
• [16:20] — Insights from a dream about humility, perception, and impact
• [17:35] — Re-centering the podcast’s purpose around lived experience
• [22:34] — Approach to output vs. outcome after 13 years with herpes
• [26:16] — Recap, expectations for future episodes, closing message

Final Takeaways

Courtney uses his 13th herpes anniversary to validate the importance of community, honest self-reflection, and remaining present for oneself and others navigating herpes stigma. The SPFPP podcast—whether featuring guests or just Courtney’s voice—will continue to be a supportive resource grounded in authentic lived experience. Listeners are strongly encouraged to join the newsletter for community updates and future in-person opportunities.

Stay present.
— Courtney W. Brame