Marissa Root (4:08)
She had mentioned to us that she was fairly new and that she was the intake person. I sat there with her and I explained everything again, which I also have to note is just so traumatizing to have to repeat such a sensitive thing to strangers. But I did because I thought they were supposed to help me. She was having a really hard time making eye contact with me or my friend. She was looking up at the ceiling a lot. She mentioned multiple times that they are a neutral office and that their responsibility is to their students. And because I'm not a student there, there's not a lot she can do for me. Throughout speaking with her, she really discouraged me from telling her the name of my perpetrator. Me and my friend who was there with me, we both noticed that and thought that was so strange. She kept telling me, you don't need to say it. At the very beginning of the meeting, I did say his name. Not his last name, just his first name briefly. And I just think that's really important to note for later. I repeated to her this was one of their student athletes and that he had a past of substance abuse issues. I remember asking her, what are your procedures? What can you do to help? If I decide to start an investigation on him through the school, what is your job? She explained two different scenarios. The first one was, we investigate what happened internally. We talk to the other athletes that were there, and we just get everyone's input. She opened a big pamphlet that had different arrows to all of the steps of the investigation process. She points to each one of the little lines on the timeline and says, here's where we introduce the case, here's where we investigate, here's where we bring it to these people, and here's where we come to a decision. She explained this process as super draining and sometimes doesn't even end in a resolution. After all of the effort that is put in to the investigation, after I'm hearing that, I'm like, wow, this process seems like the worst thing ever. She said that victims in the past have talked about how this is a really hard process. She's explaining it as this almost impossible thing to do. And then she pulls out another little paper and it's just one sheet of paper and it says alternate resolution. She explained this as I get to write sl a letter and I get to tell him how he hurt me and this is going to affect me forever. And then she said, if he chooses to, he can write a letter back taking accountability, saying sorry, explaining his actions, things like that, then we can come to a resolution together. He gets to choose if he wants to write you back, if he wants to abide by any of these guidelines. She was saying some of the resolutions are giving him more education, putting him in more classes so he doesn't make mistakes like this again, because he's more educated. We work with his coaches and we can make sure he shows up to practice on time, make sure that he's doing the things that he needs to do. I'm like, you're going to give him more schooling. And so I asked her, I said, you don't even suspend him. There is no consequence for his action. And she said, no, that's not really our place to decide in the alternate resolution process. I remember being so shocked by that. She explained that the alternate resolution, in her experience gave victims the most closure and that it was really healing for the victims that she had seen go through the process. So she was definitely making the alternate resolution look like the best thing to do. I explained to her that the weekend before he was driving intoxicated on campus and that he was driving intoxicated the night before the assault. She had mentioned to me, we don't deal with substance abuse issues. And she said because the party was off campus, that there wasn't a lot that she could do that they don't work with off campus situations. And that's what she said, situations. And I said, he plays football for you. He spends 90% of his time on your campus. And she said, I know, but we have no control over what happens at off campus parties. She brought up multiple times that he's their student and they have his Back. Her responsibility is to her students. I tried to explain to her they were all football players there. It was right after a game. They were asking us not to post pictures, not to say anything, because they didn't want to be caught drinking. I do think it was interesting because one of the players who was there the night of the assault, he played a lot more, and he was what you would call, like, one of their star athletes. I had mentioned him and that he was there, and immediately she kind of perks up and she's like, he wasn't the one that raped you, was he? And I said, no. And then she, like, slouches back into her chair. She literally said, oh, good. After explaining the whole story to her, she told me that police sometimes isn't the best route because it's hard to prove that. Basically, my perpetrator has to say, yes, I raped her in order for charges to be filed, which is not true. I want to make that very clear. Never once did she validate my experience or did she validate what I had been through. It was just very much apathy throughout the whole meeting. I'm sitting there face to face with this woman who should understand the fear that women live with every single day. Who knows the history of athletes at their school, specifically in my case. I can't speak for other cases, but I believe that they were avoiding making this a big public spectacle, especially the University of Utah, because they had been under so much heat the year previous because there was a student athlete, a girl who ran track or cross country, I believe, and she was shot by her boyfriend after reporting it over and over and over again to the campus police.
