Episode Overview

Podcast: Something You Should Know
Episode: SYSK TRENDING - How Stress Distorts Your Thinking
Date: February 17, 2026
Host: Mike Carruthers
Guest: Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli (Clinical Psychologist, Author of The Stress Solution)

This episode dives into the hidden ways stress distorts our thinking, often without us realizing it. Host Mike Carruthers speaks with Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli about the neurological and psychological mechanisms behind stress, how it shapes our perceptions, and—most importantly—practical methods for regaining clarity and control.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Nature of Stress and Distorted Thinking

• Stress Is More Than Just a Feeling
  • Under stress, people become more negative, reactive, and disproportionately focused on worst-case scenarios.
  • "You may think you're being logical, but stress quietly narrows your perspective and exaggerates the danger." (A, 00:10)
• Definition of Stress
  • Dr. Ciaramicoli explains:
    • "Stress really is produced mostly by misperception. When we're perceiving inaccurately, we produce stress and we produce the stress hormone cortisol." (B, 02:57)
    • This narrows thinking and reduces our capacity for empathy.

2. Empathy as an Antidote to Stress-Induced Distortion

• Empathy Counters Distortion
  • Empathy allows us to see beyond initial reactions, slow our perceptions, and make better decisions.
  • "Empathy is really about perceiving beyond the surface...so that you can make very good decisions rather than making quick, impulsive decisions based on narrow thinking." (B, 03:32)
• Practical Example
  • Dr. Ciaramicoli suggests, instead of reacting when a spouse is distant, assume good intention and slow down before responding.
  • "When we react empathically...they tend to be more empathic with us, and we have much more likelihood of having an empathic interchange rather than starting an argument." (B, 08:18)

3. Evolutionary Origins and Modern Mismatch

• Fight or Flight Outdated
  • The stress reaction remains hardwired from when it protected us from physical threats (like tigers), yet is now inappropriately triggered by modern situations (e.g., a boss's frown).
  • "Most of the time today…we're producing stress when we're sitting in a chair, not going anywhere." (B, 04:13)
• Cognitive Distortions
  • Common distortions under stress include generalizing, mind reading, and personalizing.

4. Techniques for Managing Stress and Rewiring Perception

• Recognizing Old "Records"
  • Understanding your habitual negative thoughts ("old records" or stories) is key.
  • "When we get a sense of repeating those old ways of perceiving...we can discard them much quicker." (B, 05:40)
• Oxytocin and Relaxation
  • Empathy and connection boost oxytocin, which relaxes us and allows for more expansive thinking.
  • "When we use empathy...it relaxes our physiology. It allows our brain to think more expansively." (B, 06:31)
• Self-Talk and Group Feedback
  • Negative self-talk, often stemming from childhood, perpetuates stress.
  • Engaging with rational, honest others can provide corrective feedback.
  • "You need to engage with other rational people...to change that negative self talk." (B, 10:10)
• Interrupting Nighttime Worry
  • Be proactive before bedtime; prepare to counter habitual negative thoughts.
  • "You have to kind of step outside yourself and in a way use empathy toward yourself. It's almost like you're observing yourself." (B, 19:38)
  • "Instead of waking up every morning at 3 o'clock saying the same thing...you counter that immediately and you don't fall into it." (B, 20:25)

5. Stress, Worry, and Society

• Worry Is Not Innate
  • Worry is a learned behavior, not a genetic trait.
  • "No one is genetically programmed to worry. That is not true...anything that's learned can be unlearned." (B, 17:58)
• Empathy and Social Trends
  • Data shows empathy, trust, and close friendships are declining, while stress rises.
  • "Empathy rates have diminished. The amount of Americans trusting each other has diminished…Twenty years ago, Americans said they had five to seven close friends. Today it's two to three." (B, 14:42)
  • Prejudice and lack of empathy both chronically raise stress and cortisol.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Learning:

  • "It's emotional learning, Mike. It's not something that we can rationally easily change." (B, 22:46)

• On the Power of Empathy:

  • "Empathy is focused on truth finding. And that's why it's such an important capacity." (B, 22:58)

• On Self-Compassion:

  • "You have to kind of step outside yourself and in a way use empathy toward yourself." (B, 19:41)

• On Modern Lifestyle:

  • "We work too hard, we sleep too little, we love with half a heart, and then we wonder why we're stressed and unhappy." (B, 16:05)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:03] — Introduction: The hidden impacts of stress on thinking.
• [02:50] — Dr. Ciaramicoli defines stress as a disorder of perception.
• [04:13] — How fight-or-flight evolved, and modern misapplication.
• [06:31] — Empathy as reconditioning; boosting oxytocin and clarity.
• [07:43] — Real-life example: Stress and empathy in relationships.
• [09:00] — The self-created stress loop and negative self-talk.
• [10:35] — The cycle of stress, worry, and why it persists.
• [14:42] — Declining empathy, trust, and rising stress in society.
• [16:05] — Cultural values shift: from empathy to status and money.
• [17:58] — "No one is genetically programmed to worry."
• [19:38] — Breaking the cycle of nighttime worry and negative thinking.
• [21:28] — Why getting up at night may help break rumination.
• [22:46] — Why humans keep worrying, even when outcomes are fine.
• [24:31] — Most stress clients are not "ill," just highly stressed, fast-paced individuals.

Summary Flow

This episode reveals that chronic stress clouds our judgment, shrinks our empathy, and makes us falsely certain of worst-case scenarios. Dr. Ciaramicoli shares that most stress is self-imposed through distorted perceptions and negative self-talk—learned patterns that can and should be unlearned.

Building empathy, both for others and ourselves, is key: oxytocin—the "love hormone"—relaxes our bodies and opens our minds. Dr. Ciaramicoli encourages listeners to recognize their own negative thought "records," seek out honest feedback from others, and be intentional about shifting perspective.

Modern society’s fast pace, decline in empathy, and increased focus on status fuel chronic stress and unhealthy ruminations. But, as Dr. Ciaramicoli emphasizes, with diligence, awareness, and empathy, anyone can reclaim a more accurate, less stress-distorted view of themselves and the world.

Recommended Actions from Dr. Ciaramicoli:

• Slow down your reactions; don't let your first judgment dictate your response.
• Practice empathy—assume the best and seek to truly understand others.
• Challenge repetitive negative self-talk; seek feedback from trustworthy people.
• Be proactive about disruptive nighttime worrying; have a plan to counteract it.
• Recognize that stress and worry are learned—and can be unlearned.

Guest info:
Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli, Author of The Stress Solution
(Link to the book in show notes.)

Episode summary by request; non-content sections omitted.