How to Make More Joy and Less Stress For the Holidays & Odd Secrets of Evolution

Summary

Podcast Summary: Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers

Episode: How to Make More Joy and Less Stress For the Holidays & Odd Secrets of Evolution
Date: December 15, 2025

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Overview

This episode dives into two distinct but equally engaging topics:

1. Practical advice for reducing holiday stress and making the season more joyful — with guest psychotherapist Nauro Feliciano.
2. Fascinating evolutionary stories — with science writer David Stipp, exploring quirky animal behaviors and how evolution shapes everyday life.

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Part 1: Making the Holidays More Joyful, Less Stressful

The Pressure of Holiday Perfection (05:42 – 07:45)

• External Expectations: Many feel pressured to create a “magical” and perfect holiday, leading to exhaustion and frustration.
• Tradition vs. Reality: Repeating traditions out of obligation rather than joy can result in added stress.

Quote:
"There’s this external pressure that it has to be magical and we need to feel joyful. ... We have to evaluate every year what do we want this year to look like. It can be different and still beautiful and still magical and hopefully a little less stressful."
— Nauro Feliciano (06:00)

The Realities Behind Holiday Stress (06:53 – 08:25)

• Life Continues: Grief, loss, and financial challenges persist through the holidays.
• Overwhelmed Bandwidth: Most of us are already maxed out, and the holidays add to our mental to-do lists.

Changing Perspective vs. Cutting Back (07:45 – 08:25)

• Some tasks can be dropped, but much of the relief comes from approaching responsibilities differently.

Quote:
"There are things that we can do differently during the holiday and still get the things done that we would like to get done... but maybe change the way we feel in the process."
— Nauro Feliciano (07:53)

The Power of Presence: Why We Struggle to Be “In the Moment” (08:30 – 10:16)

• Distraction is Rampant: Overscheduling and endless digital notifications pull us from the present.
• Dopamine Cycle: Our brains become addicted to frequent dopamine hits from screens, making real-life moments less satisfying.

Quote:
"Cell phones are constantly taking us out of the present moment. ... When we get those high hits repeatedly, what happens is our body goes into what's called a dopamine deficit."
— Nauro Feliciano (09:07)

Practical Solutions for Holiday Peace (10:16 – 14:06)

• Put Your Phone in Grayscale: Dulls dopamine reward, helps reduce compulsive checking.
• Breathe to Relax: Longer exhalation activates relaxation (4-count inhale, 6-count exhale, repeated six times).
• Control Accessibility: Keep your phone out of reach to diminish the impulse to check for (rare) crises.

Quote:
"One way to resolve that is to not have the phone in proximity and to sit with that feeling of discomfort that you have and utilize some of the techniques to bring down your anxiety."
— Nauro Feliciano (12:46)

Connection Over Perfection (18:16 – 19:50)

• Letting Go of Micro-Perfection: Social media amplifies anxiety about appearances.
• Connection is Key: True holiday memories are about moments shared, not perfect decor or flawless meals.

Memorable Quote:
"When we're so micro focused on perfection ... what we often sacrifice is actually being connected to the people who mean the most to us. ... That's becoming harder to do ... because of that focus on perfection, which is taking us out of the present moment and focusing on things that ... aren't that important."
— Nauro Feliciano (18:16)

Reframing Holiday Stress (20:13 – 21:53)

• “It Always Gets Done”: Most to-dos resolve, and the emotional cost is often more significant than tasks left unfinished.
• Perspective Shift: Sometimes, the late-night present wrapping is part of the holiday magic.

Quote:
"It gets done. But at what cost? Are we up till two in the morning the night before Christmas? ... Am I exhausted? Am I experiencing it for myself?"
— Nauro Feliciano (20:13)

Savoring Awe and Joy (22:14 – 24:12)

• Pause and Savor: Aim to experience awe—step outside the rush and truly notice the wonder (e.g., a lit tree or winter sky).
• Evidence: Experiencing awe increases happiness, improves health, and bonds people.

Quote:
"Nowadays, we tend to pull out our phones ... and we would rather save it than savor it. ... It helps to lower the stress, is take a moment and just make that a moment for you."
— Nauro Feliciano (22:14)

Addressing Grief During the Holidays (24:12 – 25:13)

• Grief is often sharper during holidays due to memories of those who are gone.
• Make room for grief, but allow joy to exist too.

Quote:
"You have to make room for grief during the holidays, and you have to honor the grief. And at the same time, there are moments where you can let yourself feel joy... Both can exist in the same space."
— Nauro Feliciano (24:26)

What Really Matters: Intentionality and Contagious Joy (25:22 – 27:47)

• Intentionality: Choose 3 joyful things to focus on and be truly present for them; let go of the rest.
• Emotional Contagion: Your authentic joy helps others feel joy.

Quote:
"Listen, when you're that busy, it is impossible to be present for everything. So just pick the three things you really want to be present for ... and do your best the rest of the time."
— Nauro Feliciano (25:22)

Maya Angelou Quoted:
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
— Nauro Feliciano (26:59)

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Part 2: Odd Secrets of Evolution

Why Ask "Why"? (33:26 – 33:39)

• Everyday “why” questions—like why do rats laugh, kids hate broccoli, or cats snub kibble—are all evolutionary puzzles.

Quote:
"When we ask why questions like these, we're often thinking about evolution without realizing it."
— David Stipp (33:12)

Laughter in Rats (33:39 – 36:52)

• Rats display an ancestral form of laughter, mainly as a response to tickling and play.
• Laughter-prone rats are better at socializing—laughter helped social bonding, a trait advantageous for survival and mating.

Quote:
"They make lots of ultrasonic chirps beyond the range of human hearing when they're playing... it sounded a lot like a bunch of kids on a playground."
— David Stipp (34:17)

Why Kids Hate Broccoli (36:52 – 38:40)

• Broccoli contains bitter compounds, leftovers from plant defense toxins.
• Kids are evolutionarily sensitive to bitterness because their organs are less capable of detoxifying than adults.
• Aversion fades as children’s bodies mature.

Why Bees Look Alike (38:40 – 40:25)

• Many bumblebees look similar; this is “Müllerian mimicry”—predators remember to avoid bees with similar warning patterns.
• Shared looks reduce the risk for all involved species.

Lifespan: Dogs vs. Cats (40:25 – 42:40)

• Lifespans relate to evolutionary cost-benefit: animals unlikely to survive long in the wild don’t “get” longevity genes.
• Cats, being solitary, are less prone to infections that might shorten average lifespan, hence they often outlive dogs.

How Dogs Stopped Being Wolves (42:40 – 45:11)

• All dogs descended from wolf-like ancestors, but possibly not actually wolves—rather, from smaller, more adaptable “dog-like” creatures that were safer and easier for ancient humans to domesticate.

Why Are Cats So Picky? (45:11 – 47:09)

• Evolution rewarded predators who stuck with familiar foods (less risk from unknown prey).
• Cats’ notorious food fussiness is a survival trait; by contrast, dogs, as pack animals, take more risks with food.

Animal Behavior: It’s (Almost) Never Random (47:53)

• Behaviors are there for a reason—often evolutionary.

Quote:
"Animal behavior is usually not just chance... Evolution is often the reason."
— Mike Carruthers (47:53)

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Fun Fact: Are Owls Actually Wise? (48:36 – 49:36)

• Surprising Truth: Owls are not particularly intelligent compared to crows or parrots.
• Origin of Legend: The association with wisdom comes from Greek mythology—Athena, the goddess of wisdom, was often depicted with an owl.

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• "One thing that I have learned is this idea of connection over perfection. Whether it's creating a beautiful holiday experience to the point where we're exhausted at the end of it, what we often sacrifice is actually being connected to the people who mean the most to us."
  — Nauro Feliciano (00:47 and revisited at 18:16)

• "Longer exhalation is the key to relaxation."
  — Nauro Feliciano (13:16)

• "We would rather save it than savor it."
  — Nauro Feliciano (22:14)

• "People will never forget how you made them feel."
  — Maya Angelou, quoted by Nauro Feliciano (26:59)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Genetics of Sweet vs. Salty Snacks: 03:23 – 05:40
• Introduction to Holiday Stress Topic: 05:40 – 06:00
• Dopamine, Phones, and Presence: 08:30 – 12:07
• Grief and Holidays: 24:12 – 25:13
• How Animal Laughter Evolved: 33:39 – 36:52
• Why Kids Hate Broccoli: 36:52 – 38:40
• Bumblebee Mimicry: 38:40 – 40:25
• Cats vs. Dogs Lifespan: 40:25 – 42:40
• Picky Cats: 45:11 – 47:09
• Are Owls Wise? 48:36 – 49:36

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Tone and Style

• Warm, practical, and gently humorous—a hallmark of host Mike Carruthers.
• Both guests speak accessibly; complex topics are broken down into relatable, actionable guidance and surprising stories.

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Key Takeaways

• For a better holiday:

  • Let go of perfection and focus on connection
  • Limit screen time and practice presence
  • Savor moments intentionally (awe, joy)
  • Address both joy and grief—multiple emotions can co-exist
  • Prioritize a few meaningful experiences, let the rest go

• For the curious mind:

  • Odd animal behaviors and human quirks frequently have deep evolutionary roots.
  • Not every legendary symbol (e.g., owl wisdom) matches reality!

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A full, enriching listen for anyone seeking a calmer season—or a bit of wonder about the natural world.

Transcript

[David Stipp]

I'm Alex Honnl, professional rock climber and founder of the HONL Foundation. I wanted to let you know about.

[Mike Carruthers]

A brand new season of the Planet.

[David Stipp]

Visionaries podcast in partnership with the Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative.

[Mike Carruthers]

This is the podcast exploring bold ideas.

[David Stipp]

And big solutions from the people leading.

[Mike Carruthers]

The way in conservation.

[David Stipp]

Join me in conversation with the likes.

[Mike Carruthers]

Of climate champion Mark Ruffalo, biologist and.

[David Stipp]

Photographer Christina Mittermeier, and one of the most successful conservationists of our time, Chris Tompkins.

[Mike Carruthers]

Join us on Planet Visionaries wherever you get your podcasts. Today on something you should know why do some of us like sweet snacks while others prefer salty ones? Then some really great ways to reduce the holiday stress and increase the holiday joy.

[Nauro Feliciano]

One thing that I have learned is this idea of connection over perfection. Whether it's creating a beautiful holiday experience to the point where we're exhausted at the end of it, what we often sacrifice is actually being connected to the people who mean the most to us.

[Mike Carruthers]

Also, just how wise are owls really? And solving some of the fascinating puzzles of evolution.

[David Stipp]

The puzzles are mainly simple why questions such as why do so many kids hate broccoli? Or why do cats often turn up their noses at kibble they've not had before? And I think that when we ask why questions like these, we're often thinking about evolution without realizing it.

[Mike Carruthers]

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[David Stipp]

Something you should know, fascinating intel.

[Mike Carruthers]

The world's top experts and practical advice.

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You can use in your life today.

[Mike Carruthers]

Something you should know with Mike Carruthers. Hi, welcome to Something YOU should know. The holiday season is a time when, at least in our house, there are a lot of tempting snacks lurking around. And maybe you wonder, well, why is it that some people like sweet snacks and other people like salty snacks? Well, turns out a lot of it is genetic. Our DNA determines how sensitive we are to certain flavors. Those of us with a sweet tooth may have a higher sweet threshold, for example. So we crave more sugar to satisfy our taste buds. And you have about 10,000 taste buds on your tongue. Just about everyone is hardwired to like sweets because of what happens in your brain. When you eat something sweet, it sends a signal to the reward centers in your brain, which then makes you want more sweets. Aside from genetics, what you crave today has a lot to do with what you've eaten your whole life. In other words, if you grew up feasting on potato chips, you're more likely to prefer that same salty taste as you get older. And that is something you should know. Well, it tis the season, and the holiday season is supposed to be a time of year when people are filled with joy and the spirit of Christmas. It's supposed to be a special time, a magical time. And yet it can also be a time when people get overwhelmed, impatient, frustrated and generally stressed out. I mean, you're busy enough normally and the holidays add a whole extra layer of busyness and sometimes, well, we just don't have the bandwidth for it. Here with some really smart and practical help is Nauro Feliciano. She is a psychotherapist and an expert on anxiety, stress and relationships. She's a frequent guest on on the Today show and her column is this Normal? Appears on the website today.com. she has a wonderfully appropriate book about this called all is how to Feel Less Frantic and More Festive during the Holidays. Hi Niro. Welcome to Something youg Should Know.

[Nauro Feliciano]

Hi, Mike. Thank you so much for having me.

[Mike Carruthers]

Sure. So what is it about the holidays? I mean, this is the time of year when you're supposed to be happy and joyful and everything is supposed to be wonderful. And much of the time it is. But it's also a time when people get very frazzled. And yet it's just the holidays.

[Nauro Feliciano]

Well, we lose that perspective because part of it is there's this external pressure that it has to be magical and we need to feel joyful. And for many of us, we're trying to create that experience for other people. So just going by way of tradition, we feel like because we've done it in the past, we have to do it again. So I think part of what I have found with clients and in my own life is we have to evaluate every year what do we want this year to look like. It can be different and still beautiful and still magical and hopefully a little.

[Mike Carruthers]

Less stressful other than the, you know, having to buy presents and ship them off, if that's what you need to do, and get dinner ready for Christmas. But. But we do these kind of things all year long. What is it about the Christmas time that seems to make it so much more stressful?

[Nauro Feliciano]

I do think there's this overarching expectation that we have to feel joyful. So let me just talk about the clients I work with. These are people going through hard things. They may have had a hard year. There may be financial stress, there may be grief and loss, and all of those things don't stop for the holidays. And when you have this external expectation that you have to feel joyful, but inside you really don't, that's one level of stress during the holidays. But I think for most of us, we're all living our life to maximum bandwidth. No one has any extra mental bandwidth to take on much more these days. And I think we're basically adding another to do list on top of our overwhelming to DOS to begin with. And that creates a little perfect storm when it comes to why we still feel stressful this time of year.

[Mike Carruthers]

And is the goal then to get things off that list, or is the goal to change the way you address that list?

[Nauro Feliciano]

Option two, I mean, it can be one as well. We can look at things and say this, no longer is that fulfilling. This actually doesn't bring me joy. And if we do a little cost benefit analysis, what I have to give is far more than what I'm going to get. So perhaps we can take some of those things off our list. But my feeling is there are things that we can do differently during the holiday and still get the things done that we would like to get done, but maybe change the way we feel.

[Mike Carruthers]

In the process by doing things. Like what?

[Nauro Feliciano]

So, one, focusing on being a little bit more present. And I know that we hear this everywhere. We're always told we have to be more present, but what do we actually have to do to become more present? Some of the things that we can do are simpler than we realize. So what do you think, Mike? Is one of the reasons why we aren't so present in our life anymore.

[Mike Carruthers]

Because there's always something else to think about, to worry about. Oh, I've got that thing tomorrow. And so I'm not thinking about what I'm doing now, I'm thinking about what I have to do later.

[Nauro Feliciano]

That's exactly right. So that is the over scheduling, the fact that we live to that maximum bandwidth. But what we know in psychology as well is the presence of our screens. And cell phones are constantly taking us out of the present moment. We have notifications, we continue to check our texts and our emails, and we have it at the tips of our fingers. So there's a constant pull to go to screens. And what we know when we do that is we get these very high hits of dopamine. And when we have those high hits of dopamine, it activates the reward centers in our brain. So essentially, whatever we're doing to get that new information, whether it's scrolling on social media, checking our texts, checking our emails, our brain is receiving that dopamine and saying, this is good, do it again. And when we get those high hits repeatedly, what happens is our body goes into what's called a dopamine deficit. Are you familiar with the dopamine deficit, Mike?

[Mike Carruthers]

No, I don't think I've heard that phrase, dopamine deficit.

[Nauro Feliciano]

Okay, I'm excited to tell you about this. The dopamine deficit is really important to consider because it is why psychologists feel now we are seeing much higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation in young people. But at the very least, it is the cause of why we are not so present in our life anymore. And what happens is we're used to these really high levels of dopamine, but they're too high for the body. The body likes physiologically healthy levels of dopamine. So let's say somewhere in the middle, right? But in order to get to that physiologically healthy level, the body has to drop the need for dopamine low. So essentially it creates a deficit so that we'll stop making dopamine to bring it to a moderate level. But when we are in that deficit is when we get these essentially withdrawal symptoms of anxiety, depression, irritability. We might be short with people, and certainly we cannot tolerate boredom. And that's when we go back to our screens. So one of the things that I recommend to people, when they have a lot to do and I've worked with students who've done this, I've worked with busy professionals who've done this, is to put your phone in grayscale mode. What you do is you go into settings and into accessibility, and you change the color filter so it's in grayscale. And depending on your phone, you can Google, how do I put my phone in grayscale mode? And what happens then is when you go to your phone, because there aren't bright colors, you don't get those hits of dopamine. So eventually, over time, you don't go to your phone as often. And what that does is it enables us to be more present in our everyday life if we're not constantly taking our focus out of our life in front of us.

[Mike Carruthers]

Wow, that's a great idea. Well, don't you think that a lot of the reason people go to their phones, especially when they're stressed, because I know this happens to me sometimes, is you go to the phone for anxiety relief. Like, you can check and see. Well, at least no one's trying to get ahold of me. There's no crisis in the world that needs my attention. So I can put that aside for now, but not for long. And then you have to check it again to make sure that in the meantime, no one else has tried to get ahold of you.

[Nauro Feliciano]

Yes. So when you go to your phone repeatedly like that, does someone need you every time? Is there a fire that you have to put out every time?

[Mike Carruthers]

Almost never.

[Nauro Feliciano]

Okay, that's not exactly a real problem. That is a perceived problem. But the fact that your phone is in proximity to you, it calls you. That is part of what you're experiencing. Mike, is that dopamine that you might get. If you see that there's nothing there, you know, it relieves that tension that you're feeling. And one way to resolve that is to not have the phone in proximity and to sit with that feeling of discomfort that you have have and utilize some of the techniques to bring down your anxiety. One is very simple. It is a longer exhalation breathing cycle. When we breathe with a longer exhale, and I like the little phrase, longer exhalation is the key to relaxation. We stimulate the vagus nerve and we take ourselves out of fight or flight, because that is what you're feeling in that moment that you're stressed or anxious that there might be a fire to put out. And it puts us into the parasympathetic mode, which is the relaxation response in our body. And if you do that type of breath. Let's say a four count inhale, a slow six count exhale. Do that six times. You will begin to feel your anxiety lower. And then I would space the intervals out intentionally on how often you go to your phone.

[Mike Carruthers]

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[Nauro Feliciano]

Oh my God, that's right, that's right. No one is going to notice that except for the person who notices the mark on the wall. You know, there is a tendency to do that, and part of that is we are often very pre how other people perceive us. Part of that, I believe, comes from the amount of time we end up spending on social media where life has become very performative and that is carried into our daily life. We're always thinking about how other people are perceiving us and deriving some piece of our value in that. But one thing that I have learned to embrace for myself, and I talk about it and write about it a lot, is this idea of connection over perfection. When we are so micro focused on perfection, whether it's creating a beautiful holiday experience to the point where we're exhausted at the end of it, what we often sacrifice is connection. Actually being connected to the people who mean the most to us, connected to our experiences and actually living through them, where we store memories of them, where we can recall these moments later on in our life. That's becoming harder to do one because of the pace of our life and how much we take on during the holidays, but also because of that focus on Perfection, which is taking us out of the present moment and focusing on things that at the end of the day, aren't that important.

[Mike Carruthers]

I've also noticed that there's a lot of stress over. I am not going to get everything done. Around the holidays, people worry that there's so much to do, they won't get it all done. And yet my experience is you always get it all done. And even if you don't get it all done, nobody cares.

[Nauro Feliciano]

I am with you in that. That is somewhat of a mantra that I have learned to tell myself during the holidays when I feel stressed, it always gets done. But what I found, Mike, is that it gets done. But at what cost Are we up till two in the morning the night before Christmas? Wrapping presents? That often happens to my husband and I. And in the morning, am I exhausted? Am I taking it in? Am I experiencing it for myself? So that is really the dilemma that I think many people have. Yes, it gets done, but what is the cost of getting it done? And can we do it a little bit differently this year?

[Mike Carruthers]

Yeah, fair enough. But sometimes it's kind of fun to be up at 2 in the morning wrapping presents. It's part of the magic. It's part of the. And yeah, it's stressful and people come. I think it's how you approach it. If it. If you think, oh, this is so horrible, I'm up at 2 in the morning, or oh, isn't this great? It's Christmas and the kids are asleep and we're wrapping their. It's really on how you look at it.

[David Stipp]

It.

[Nauro Feliciano]

I love that. Reframe. So you're saying you can create a really beautiful experience even in that same situation, depending on how you look at it. And I do believe that you can. I do think there's a level of exhaustion many people reach, especially when you have young kids, that at that point, no matter how you create it, you're tired, you're tired. So it is going to be different for different people. But you're right, changing your perspective on it can make the biggest difference in how you experience it, even if it is stressful.

[Mike Carruthers]

What about the whole idea of try to do less? I just don't think most people have that. They take on what they take on because they do it every year. And there's always that advice of maybe you should get somebody else to do that, but it just doesn't seem to work.

[Nauro Feliciano]

Yeah, And I do understand that as well, because we like to hold on to tradition. We like to do the things that We've always done. It evokes some of the same Christmas spirit and Christmas magic. There's one thing that I have done and I've encouraged other people to do, especially this season, is to take a moment, to pause at different times and step into that awe and wonder of that moment. What I found is that even when we're busy, we can take moments to pause and take in whatever it is we're experiencing. Nowadays, we tend to pull out our phones if we're at the tree lighting or recording a concert, and we would rather save it than savor it. But what I've suggested to people, and it helps to lower the stress, is take a moment and just make that a moment for you. Whatever that's special moment is, whether you're out shopping and you're in front of a beautiful window, or you're taking a walk on a wintry evening and you see a winter sky, take a moment and experience that awe first before you capture it on a screen. And what we know, because of the research of Decker Keltner, he's out of UC Berkeley, is when we find awe and we experience awe, and there's so much of it during the holidays, we not only live happier, we live longer and healthier because awe will reduce inflammation in our body. They've shown that there are lower levels of what's called cytokine, interleukin 6, which is an inflammation marker. And the other thing these moments of awe do is it increases oxytocin in our body. That's our bonding neurochemical. It also elevates our mood, and that, we know, correlates to lower levels of anxiety. So in addition to the reframe that you talk about, there are other things that we can do, such as pausing and taking in that moment.

[Mike Carruthers]

There's also the problem, I think, people have this time of year where you miss the people that aren't here anymore. And that really hits harder around the holidays than probably any other time.

[Nauro Feliciano]

You're right, because we have these memories of holidays that were beautiful with these people present. So it is a constant reminder that they're not here. We might sit at a table and notice there's an empty seat this year. So you're very right that it does. And what I have said to people who I've worked with through grief is you have to make room for grief during the holidays, and you have to honor the grief. And at the same time, there are moments where you can let yourself feel joy. I think especially when grief is recent, we feel like we have to hold on to the grief. It's not honoring to that person if we are stepping into the holiday and experiencing the magic or wonder of it. But two things can be true. Both can exist in the same space.

[Mike Carruthers]

In the final moments here. I've been asking you a lot of questions, but what would you like to say to people who deal with all the stress of the holidays?

[Nauro Feliciano]

I would love to talk a little bit about this idea that the whole thing has to be magical. And what I like to say to people is that approaching the holidays with a little intentionality makes a big difference. And when I say intentionality, I mean consider the question, what would bring you joy this holiday? A lot of times we're creating joy and this magic for everybody else, but we don't always stop to consider, what are the three things that I want to do that would bring me joy this holiday? And when we identify those things, we begin to look out for them. We begin to anticipate them, and when they're in front of us, show up for them differently. We tend to bring more an awareness to them. Oftentimes I say to people, listen, when you're that busy, it is impossible to be present for everything. So just pick the three things you really want to be present for. You want to experience that you know will bring you joy and bring all your energy to those three moments and do your best the rest of the time.

[Mike Carruthers]

You know what I think is interesting I've done this is, you know, people are so worried about what other people are going to think and how it's going to go. And, you know, is the turkey overdone? And nobody ever, you ask people a year later, do you remember the thing about the thing that happened? No, nobody. Nobody cares. Nobody remembers. You get all worked up about something that most people never care about. They can't remember one Christmas from another. They're all kind of blurred together and they're all fine.

[Nauro Feliciano]

So I love the quote from Maya Angelou. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. And I think there's so much truth to that. And we also know from our psychological research that emotion is a contagion. So if we're able to genuinely, authentically feel joy, that will transcend the things that we do or don't do that we said or didn't say, because people around us will authentically feel joy as well. And when they feel joy, they will remember joy. So oftentimes that starts with us. That is a beautiful thing to make contagious during the holiday season. Joy, peace, calm. Those qualities.

[Mike Carruthers]

Well, I really like your suggestions, you know, like putting your phone on grayscale. I mean, all the things you said are very easy and practical things to do. That I think could really help. I've been talking to Nairo Feliciano. She is a psychotherapist and frequent guest on the Today show and she has a book out called All Is how to Feel Less Frantic and More Festive during the Holidays. Thank you, Niro.

[Nauro Feliciano]

Oh, thank you so much. And thank you for having me.

[Mike Carruthers]

You know, I've been using AG1 for several weeks now, and what I really like is how simple it makes things. I mean, I'm not good at complicated morning routine and AG1, it's just simple and consistent. AG1 is the daily health drink that combines your multivitamin, pre and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants all in one scoop. And I love that because I don't want a handful of pills in the morning. Nope, one scoop. Shake it up. Done. My routine is simple. I take it first thing in the morning, usually while I'm making coffee. And I can feel good knowing I'm giving my body real support. And I do notice steady, consistent energy throughout the day. And my digestion feels great. And I really appreciate knowing that it's helping fill in those nutrient gaps that tend to happen when life gets busy. Now, I've been trying the different flavors. Original and citrus are my favorite so far, and it's actually something I look forward to in the morning and this time of year when routines tend to fall apart. AG1 is the thing that keeps me consistent. AG1 has their best offer ever. If you head to drinkag1.com something you'll get the welcome kit, a morning person hat, a bottle of vitamin D3 and K2, an AG1 flavor sampler, and you'll get to try their new sleep supplement, AGZ for free, which has been a game changer for my nightly routine. That's drinkag1.com something for $126 in free gifts for new subscribers. Ever notice how half your day isn't spent doing the work? It's organizing the work. Notes, links, ideas scattered everywhere. You start with good intentions, but by midday you're buried under the admin side of creativity. That's why I've been using Notion Agent. It's like having a digital version of me that actually gets things done. Notion becomes your AI teammate and brings all your notes and docs and projects into one connected space that just works. It's seamless, flexible, powerful, and it's actually fun to use. With AI built right in, you spend less time switching between tools and more time creating great work. And now with Notion Agent, your AI doesn't just help with work, it finishes it. I've used it to organize podcast prep. It finds notes and tags guests and even drafts summaries of old episodes so I can focus on what really matters. The conversation. Notion Agent can do anything you can do in Notion. It taps into your workspace, the web, even tools like Slack and Google Drive to complete actions end to end. When my Notion Agent is running, my brain feels lighter. It's like finally having space to think again. Try Notion now with notion [e-mail] something that's all lowercase letters notion.com something to try your new AI teammate notion agent today. And when you use our link, you're supporting our notion.com something. When most of us hear the word evolution, we think back to something we learned in school. But evolution is happening all around us every day in ways you've probably never noticed. Evolution explains why you can smell a skunk from a mile away. Or why cats tend to outlive dogs, why bees end up with those bright yellow stripes. None of these things are random. Each has a fascinating backstory written by millions of years of evolution. David Stipp is here to reveal those stories. He's a former staff reporter for the Wall Street Journal and former senior writer at Fortune, and he's author of a book called why Rats Laugh and Jellyfish Sleep and other enchanting stories of evolution. David, welcome to Something youg Should Know.

[David Stipp]

Thank you. Glad to be here.

[Mike Carruthers]

So tell us what you did here. You took these stories of various creatures to illustrate how evolution works, Explain how this happened.

[David Stipp]

So I picked a series of creatures we're all familiar with, such as skunks and dogs and rats, and pointed to some basic evolutionary puzzles about them in order to show that the theory of evolution can be interesting and relevant in our everyday lives. And the puzzles that I think are of interest to non scientists here are mainly simple why questions such as why do so many kids hate broccoli? Or why do cats often turn up their noses at kibble they've not had before? And I think that when we ask why questions like these, we're often thinking about evolution without realizing it. And that's because such questions are basically asking for the reasons that certain behaviors or bodily features evolved.

[Mike Carruthers]

So those are all good questions. And Ones we should talk about. And let's. Since it's in the title of your book. First of all, I didn't know rats laughed. But they must or you wouldn't say so. But what are they laughing at?

[David Stipp]

You know, that latter question is really a very interesting one that I'd like to circle back to in a moment. Moment. But first I should say that the kind of laughter we're talking about with rats is really a more basic emotional response than human laughter at a joke. It's really more like what happens when you tickle a five year old human's foot. And rat laughter was discovered in the 1990s by this neuroscientist named Jaak Pansep at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. And he was a pioneer in the study of emotion in non human animals. And rats were one of his main research subjects. And I should point out here that we're talking about domesticated rats. These are very tame and docile and really important. They don't bite when they're gently handled by humans. So in the mid-1990s, Ponceps lab began investigating these vocalizations that young rats make make when they're interacting in this kind of rough and tumble play that they do. And what the scientists found was that juvenile rats make lots of ultrasonic chirps beyond the range of human hearing when they're playing. And when the scientists electronically process the chirps, it sounded a lot like a bunch of kids on a playground, as Poncep once put it. So a couple of years later it occurred to him that these chirps might actually be an ancestral form of human laughter. And so to investigate that, he figured out a very simple, clever technique which was to tickle his rats by gently scratching them on their necks or stomachs. And that that reliably generated a lot of ultrasonic chirping. And I know this sounds, it sounds cute and amusing. Amazing. And it was. But. But it was also scientifically important because it let his lab do a lot of very interesting studies on rat laughter. And one of the things they soon discovered is that some rats are more laughter prone than others. And that young rats really like hanging out with laughter prone adult rats more than they do with adult rats that don't laugh much. Another thing they did was to breed rats that don't laugh much at all. And what they found is that these sourpuss rats were really bad at socializing with other rats. So what I think these results say is that the main reason rat laughter evolved was just to help facilitate social bonding. And that would be, of course, very advantageous for a rat because it would give it more chances to mate and to find food and group situations and so on.

[Mike Carruthers]

Well, that's not unlike people. I mean, people bond over laughter as well.

[David Stipp]

Exactly. And. And Pons have often said that though there's. There's probably an evolutionary basis for rat laughter, it doesn't rule out the possibility that expressing joyful mirth in social situations simply feels good to a rat in much the same way that it does does to us.

[Mike Carruthers]

So why do so many kids hate broccoli? Because not all kids do. My son, my. Both of my sons liked it when they were growing up, but I know a lot of kids don't.

[David Stipp]

I think this goes back to the fact that plants can't run away from creatures that want to eat them. And so to protect themselves, they've evolved all kinds of defenses. Some are really obvious, like thorns or sticky SAP or bark on trees. But many of their main defenses are poisons, what biologists call plant defense toxins. And plants have evolved, you know, many thousands of these toxins through the ages. And in response, we and other creatures that eat plants have evolved ways to avoid getting overdosed on the poisons, including the ability to taste them in our food. And, you know, plant defense talks. Toxins generally tastes disgustingly bitter to us. But even though our crop plants don't really pose a toxic threat to us these days, remnants of these bitter compounds still exist in veggies like broccoli. And I think evolution has equipped young kids to be very sensitive to these. These compounds of really, really dislike their bitter tastes of even small amounts of them, because the kids developing organs, especially their brains and livers and kidneys, aren't as good at detoxifying the compounds as adults organs are. So I think when kids refuse to eat their veggies, I think they're often just acting out a kind of better safe than sorry principle that evolution has embedded in the human genome. And when they get a little older, it's really no surprise. Why is that? Veggies usually don't seem quite as awful as they once did.

[Mike Carruthers]

So you point out, and I never knew this, that it's very difficult to tell the difference between different species of bees. And so I'd like to hear about that and then the evolutionary explanation for that.

[David Stipp]

I got into this question a few summers ago when we had a bumblebee colony under our back deck, and I was trying to figure out what kind of bumblebees they. They were, and this turned out to be surprisingly difficult. And that was mainly because, you know, so many species have, have that black and yellow stripy look we're all familiar with. So one species has actually even been named the confusing bumblebee, or its official scientific name is bombus perplexus because it looks so much like other species species. So I eventually found the reason that so many bumblebees look alike. And it was in a theory proposed way back in the 1870s by a little known German naturalist named Fritz Mueller. And what he figured out is that birds and other predators learn to avoid insects like bumblebees by sampling them and then coming to associate their looks with bad experiences like getting stung. And that means some of the insects are continually lost to what people call predator education. But if two or more of the species of these insects look enough alike, this cost can be shared between them, and that reduces the predator education burden on each of them. So that causes them to evolve the very similar look that we see in different bumblebee species. And it's actually now called mullerian mimicry.

[Mike Carruthers]

So I think we all know that dogs tend to live longer than cats do, but different species have different lifespans. So how does the dog cat lifespan relationship relate to evolution?

[David Stipp]

I think the way to look at this is to look at evolution as if we're a human design engineer. And if you were a human design engineer, you would not probably give all the genes you need for very long life to a creature that's likely to be wiped out in the wild very soon. That is, such creatures would be small rodents like mice and rats. They probably live only a year or less. And so it just wouldn't make sense for evolution to give them genes that spend a lot of inner resources on doing things like keeping their cells all ship shape for a really long time. What this says is that if you have factors that cause an animal in the wild to die fairly quickly, it's probably not going to age very slowly, and it's probably again, not going to live very long. This is a general principle of the theory of aging. Now, a guy you had on the podcast not long ago, Steve, Steve Austad, who somebody I know, came up with the idea that cats might live longer than dogs, and they, they don't live a whole lot longer than dogs. But I think cats live on average about 15 years, while dogs live on average about 12 years. This might be in part because the ancestors of dogs were very social animals, and that made them more susceptible or vulnerable to infections that would spread among dog packs. Cats are of course, more solitary and they would be less susceptible to this major cause of mortality. By the reasoning I was just talking about, that would mean cats would age a little bit slower than dogs would. There probably other reasons, but I think that's one of the most interesting possibilities.

[Mike Carruthers]

So talk about dogs and how they, how they became dogs from wolves and man's best friend and all that.

[David Stipp]

It's believed that all the dogs that now exist descended from gray wolves or from an extinction extinct species that looked very much like gray wolves. So the question to me is how is it that our ancient ancestors hung out with wolves long enough to domesticate them? And you know, I, I found this really the most baffling puzzle because wolves tend, like most predators, they, they prefer to go after small, weak prey like juvenile animals. So this would mean that, you know, our ancestors who were supposedly domesticating wolves to turn them into dogs, I think their kids would have been in danger. And, and there's really no hot and hot button that's hotter than the one that's labeled your kids are in mortal danger. So I, this is a real baffling mystery and, and I'm not sure that anyone has actually ever solved it in a definitive way, but there is a theory that I think comes pretty close to possibly offering a solution to it. And that was proposed by a animal behaviorist a few years ago named Janice Kohler Matznik. And she thinks that what really happened is that dogs descended from a dog like creature rather than wolves that lived about the same time maybe 50,000 years ago, as the ancestor of today's wolves did. And this creature would have been a whole lot smaller and much safer to have around than wolves would be. I mean it might have been only say 25 or 40 pounds, whereas a male wolf can easily be well over 100 pounds. And these, these dog like creatures would have also been more versatile when it comes to diet. So they could have hung around human ancient humans camps and, and eaten refuse. Whereas wolves are pretty much pure carnivores and they need a whole lot of meat to survive. So, you know, it seemed like you could solve some of the problem of safety, at least by, by this idea.

[Mike Carruthers]

Since we're on the subject of domestic animals, let's talk about cats, because anyone who's had a cat knows that very often when you feed them something, they walk away. They turn their nose up at it. They're not interested, particularly if it's maybe something they haven't eaten before. They couldn't care less.

[David Stipp]

Yeah, we've actually got one of these finicky cats in our family right now. And, and, you know, I think, you know, there are cats that will gobble up any kibble you put in front of them. But, but, you know, as you said, many, many cats are really persnickety, and especially about food they've not had before. So I, I think there's a very good evolutionary reason for this and that, which is that predators have evolved a tendency to shy away from. Away from unfamiliar prey animals and instead go for ones they've eaten in the past. And the reason for this is that attacking and killing animals is really a very dangerous business. A cat, for example, could get a fatal infection if it got a really bad bite from a rat it was attacking. And this kind of ugly surprise is much more likely to happen to a predator if it goes after a source of food that's unfamiliar to it than one it's used to eating. In fact, there are studies showing that various kinds of predators tend to have this kind of dietary conservatism. And I think this general conservatism applies to foods like kibble, too. And it's easy to see where that would be the case because predators that didn't have this kind of instinctive conservatism probably didn't get a chance to have a lot of descendants. So I think persnickety cats are really just acting out a perfectly rational, evolved behavior that was handed down to them by their ancestors.

[Mike Carruthers]

Yeah, but it's so different than dogs because, you know, at least the dogs I've had, boy, you put food in front of them and they can't. They'll knock you over to get to it. And cats, like, couldn't care less.

[David Stipp]

Yeah, yeah. Well, cats are solitary ambush hunters, and they may face. I'm just speculating wildly here. And cats probably face risks that dogs don't face because dogs are pack hunters. In fact, I think the ancestors of today's dogs may have been the most dangerous, some of the most dangerous predators that are our Stone Age ancestors faced because they're so smart and they hunt in groups.

[Mike Carruthers]

Well, I remember hearing somebody say that animal behavior is usually not just chance, that there's some reason for why we animals and other animals do what we do. And evolution is often the reason. And it's interesting to hear some of the stories. I've been talking with David Stitt. He is a former staff reporter for the Wall Street Journal and former senior writer at Fortune, and he's author of a book called why Rats Laugh and Jellyfish Sleep and other Enchanting stories of evolution. And there's a link to that book in the show notes. David, I appreciate you coming on today. Thank you.

[David Stipp]

It's been a pleasure. Thanks for having me.

[Mike Carruthers]

Here's kind of a strange thing I came across that has to do with owls, because when you think about it, from children's books to ancient Greek legends, owls are often portrayed as being very wise creatures. But are they really wise? No. No, they're not wise at all, actually. In fact, owls may be significantly worse at problem solving than other big brained birds like crows and parrots. One study found that great gray owls repeatedly failed a simple cognitive test, which was pulling a string to get a treat. Several other species of birds passed that test with flying colors. Now, that's not to say that owls are dumb. Studies have found that some owls actually practice a primitive form of tool use. Burrowing owls have been observed using animal dung to lure beetles to their burrows, which they then subsequently eat. Okay, so that's pretty smart. But by human standards, owls do not possess wisdom at all. So where did that come from? Well, it likely originated with legends of the ancient Greek goddess Athena. She was the goddess of wisdom and she was often portrayed in art holding an owl. And that is something you should know. You know, podcasting is a very competitive business. We're always competing for new listeners and you can help us by spreading the word. It's encouraged and it's why there's a share button on the player that you are listening to this on to make it simple to share with your friends. It's a powerful way to support this podcast and I'd certainly appreciate it. I'm Mike Carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know. Been out here all morning, not a single bite. Guess the fish finally figured it out. Just like hackers do when Cisco Duo's on guard with Duo's end to end fishing resistance. Every login, every device, every user stays protected. No hooks, no catches, no bites. Cisco Duo fishing season is over. Learn [e-mail] do you ever find yourself lying in bed and your brain then decides this is the perfect time to remind you of everything? And then your brain starts racing and you start thinking and sleep seems impossible. This is why I really like Kathryn Nicolai's podcast called Nothing Much Happens. It's simple, it's soothing, and it works. Each episode is just a calm, cozy bedtime story. There's no drama, nothing intense, nothing to follow. You don't have to write anything down. It's just simple repetition. And these really peaceful sensory details that give your brain permission to settle down and go to sleep. Millions of people use it as part of their nighttime routine and I totally get why. They recently did a story I love called the Guest Room. It was all about clean sheets and fresh towels and those things I love that help me sleep. You really should try it tonight when you go to bed. You really should try it tonight when you go to bed. You can listen to Nothing Much Happens wherever you get your podcasts episodes every Monday and Thursday.