Podcast Summary: Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers
Episode: How to Make More Joy and Less Stress For the Holidays & Odd Secrets of Evolution
Date: December 15, 2025
Overview
This episode dives into two distinct but equally engaging topics:
- Practical advice for reducing holiday stress and making the season more joyful — with guest psychotherapist Nauro Feliciano.
- Fascinating evolutionary stories — with science writer David Stipp, exploring quirky animal behaviors and how evolution shapes everyday life.
Part 1: Making the Holidays More Joyful, Less Stressful
The Pressure of Holiday Perfection (05:42 – 07:45)
- External Expectations: Many feel pressured to create a “magical” and perfect holiday, leading to exhaustion and frustration.
- Tradition vs. Reality: Repeating traditions out of obligation rather than joy can result in added stress.
Quote:
"There’s this external pressure that it has to be magical and we need to feel joyful. ... We have to evaluate every year what do we want this year to look like. It can be different and still beautiful and still magical and hopefully a little less stressful."
— Nauro Feliciano (06:00)
The Realities Behind Holiday Stress (06:53 – 08:25)
- Life Continues: Grief, loss, and financial challenges persist through the holidays.
- Overwhelmed Bandwidth: Most of us are already maxed out, and the holidays add to our mental to-do lists.
Changing Perspective vs. Cutting Back (07:45 – 08:25)
- Some tasks can be dropped, but much of the relief comes from approaching responsibilities differently.
Quote:
"There are things that we can do differently during the holiday and still get the things done that we would like to get done... but maybe change the way we feel in the process."
— Nauro Feliciano (07:53)
The Power of Presence: Why We Struggle to Be “In the Moment” (08:30 – 10:16)
- Distraction is Rampant: Overscheduling and endless digital notifications pull us from the present.
- Dopamine Cycle: Our brains become addicted to frequent dopamine hits from screens, making real-life moments less satisfying.
Quote:
"Cell phones are constantly taking us out of the present moment. ... When we get those high hits repeatedly, what happens is our body goes into what's called a dopamine deficit."
— Nauro Feliciano (09:07)
Practical Solutions for Holiday Peace (10:16 – 14:06)
- Put Your Phone in Grayscale: Dulls dopamine reward, helps reduce compulsive checking.
- Breathe to Relax: Longer exhalation activates relaxation (4-count inhale, 6-count exhale, repeated six times).
- Control Accessibility: Keep your phone out of reach to diminish the impulse to check for (rare) crises.
Quote:
"One way to resolve that is to not have the phone in proximity and to sit with that feeling of discomfort that you have and utilize some of the techniques to bring down your anxiety."
— Nauro Feliciano (12:46)
Connection Over Perfection (18:16 – 19:50)
- Letting Go of Micro-Perfection: Social media amplifies anxiety about appearances.
- Connection is Key: True holiday memories are about moments shared, not perfect decor or flawless meals.
Memorable Quote:
"When we're so micro focused on perfection ... what we often sacrifice is actually being connected to the people who mean the most to us. ... That's becoming harder to do ... because of that focus on perfection, which is taking us out of the present moment and focusing on things that ... aren't that important."
— Nauro Feliciano (18:16)
Reframing Holiday Stress (20:13 – 21:53)
- “It Always Gets Done”: Most to-dos resolve, and the emotional cost is often more significant than tasks left unfinished.
- Perspective Shift: Sometimes, the late-night present wrapping is part of the holiday magic.
Quote:
"It gets done. But at what cost? Are we up till two in the morning the night before Christmas? ... Am I exhausted? Am I experiencing it for myself?"
— Nauro Feliciano (20:13)
Savoring Awe and Joy (22:14 – 24:12)
- Pause and Savor: Aim to experience awe—step outside the rush and truly notice the wonder (e.g., a lit tree or winter sky).
- Evidence: Experiencing awe increases happiness, improves health, and bonds people.
Quote:
"Nowadays, we tend to pull out our phones ... and we would rather save it than savor it. ... It helps to lower the stress, is take a moment and just make that a moment for you."
— Nauro Feliciano (22:14)
Addressing Grief During the Holidays (24:12 – 25:13)
- Grief is often sharper during holidays due to memories of those who are gone.
- Make room for grief, but allow joy to exist too.
Quote:
"You have to make room for grief during the holidays, and you have to honor the grief. And at the same time, there are moments where you can let yourself feel joy... Both can exist in the same space."
— Nauro Feliciano (24:26)
What Really Matters: Intentionality and Contagious Joy (25:22 – 27:47)
- Intentionality: Choose 3 joyful things to focus on and be truly present for them; let go of the rest.
- Emotional Contagion: Your authentic joy helps others feel joy.
Quote:
"Listen, when you're that busy, it is impossible to be present for everything. So just pick the three things you really want to be present for ... and do your best the rest of the time."
— Nauro Feliciano (25:22)
Maya Angelou Quoted:
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
— Nauro Feliciano (26:59)
Part 2: Odd Secrets of Evolution
Why Ask "Why"? (33:26 – 33:39)
- Everyday “why” questions—like why do rats laugh, kids hate broccoli, or cats snub kibble—are all evolutionary puzzles.
Quote:
"When we ask why questions like these, we're often thinking about evolution without realizing it."
— David Stipp (33:12)
Laughter in Rats (33:39 – 36:52)
- Rats display an ancestral form of laughter, mainly as a response to tickling and play.
- Laughter-prone rats are better at socializing—laughter helped social bonding, a trait advantageous for survival and mating.
Quote:
"They make lots of ultrasonic chirps beyond the range of human hearing when they're playing... it sounded a lot like a bunch of kids on a playground."
— David Stipp (34:17)
Why Kids Hate Broccoli (36:52 – 38:40)
- Broccoli contains bitter compounds, leftovers from plant defense toxins.
- Kids are evolutionarily sensitive to bitterness because their organs are less capable of detoxifying than adults.
- Aversion fades as children’s bodies mature.
Why Bees Look Alike (38:40 – 40:25)
- Many bumblebees look similar; this is “Müllerian mimicry”—predators remember to avoid bees with similar warning patterns.
- Shared looks reduce the risk for all involved species.
Lifespan: Dogs vs. Cats (40:25 – 42:40)
- Lifespans relate to evolutionary cost-benefit: animals unlikely to survive long in the wild don’t “get” longevity genes.
- Cats, being solitary, are less prone to infections that might shorten average lifespan, hence they often outlive dogs.
How Dogs Stopped Being Wolves (42:40 – 45:11)
- All dogs descended from wolf-like ancestors, but possibly not actually wolves—rather, from smaller, more adaptable “dog-like” creatures that were safer and easier for ancient humans to domesticate.
Why Are Cats So Picky? (45:11 – 47:09)
- Evolution rewarded predators who stuck with familiar foods (less risk from unknown prey).
- Cats’ notorious food fussiness is a survival trait; by contrast, dogs, as pack animals, take more risks with food.
Animal Behavior: It’s (Almost) Never Random (47:53)
- Behaviors are there for a reason—often evolutionary.
Quote:
"Animal behavior is usually not just chance... Evolution is often the reason."
— Mike Carruthers (47:53)
Fun Fact: Are Owls Actually Wise? (48:36 – 49:36)
- Surprising Truth: Owls are not particularly intelligent compared to crows or parrots.
- Origin of Legend: The association with wisdom comes from Greek mythology—Athena, the goddess of wisdom, was often depicted with an owl.
Notable & Memorable Quotes
-
"One thing that I have learned is this idea of connection over perfection. Whether it's creating a beautiful holiday experience to the point where we're exhausted at the end of it, what we often sacrifice is actually being connected to the people who mean the most to us."
— Nauro Feliciano (00:47 and revisited at 18:16) -
"Longer exhalation is the key to relaxation."
— Nauro Feliciano (13:16) -
"We would rather save it than savor it."
— Nauro Feliciano (22:14) -
"People will never forget how you made them feel."
— Maya Angelou, quoted by Nauro Feliciano (26:59)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Genetics of Sweet vs. Salty Snacks: 03:23 – 05:40
- Introduction to Holiday Stress Topic: 05:40 – 06:00
- Dopamine, Phones, and Presence: 08:30 – 12:07
- Grief and Holidays: 24:12 – 25:13
- How Animal Laughter Evolved: 33:39 – 36:52
- Why Kids Hate Broccoli: 36:52 – 38:40
- Bumblebee Mimicry: 38:40 – 40:25
- Cats vs. Dogs Lifespan: 40:25 – 42:40
- Picky Cats: 45:11 – 47:09
- Are Owls Wise? 48:36 – 49:36
Tone and Style
- Warm, practical, and gently humorous—a hallmark of host Mike Carruthers.
- Both guests speak accessibly; complex topics are broken down into relatable, actionable guidance and surprising stories.
Key Takeaways
-
For a better holiday:
- Let go of perfection and focus on connection
- Limit screen time and practice presence
- Savor moments intentionally (awe, joy)
- Address both joy and grief—multiple emotions can co-exist
- Prioritize a few meaningful experiences, let the rest go
-
For the curious mind:
- Odd animal behaviors and human quirks frequently have deep evolutionary roots.
- Not every legendary symbol (e.g., owl wisdom) matches reality!
A full, enriching listen for anyone seeking a calmer season—or a bit of wonder about the natural world.