Podcast Summary

Something You Should Know

Host: Mike Carruthers
Episode: Our Strange Relationship With Robots & What is Confidence? - SYSK Choice
Date: January 31, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode explores two distinct but fundamentally human topics:

1. Our complex and emotional relationship with robots, as explained by science writer Eve Harold.
2. The elusive nature of confidence, with insight and practical advice from writer, comedian, and executive coach Viv Grossgup.

Throughout, host Mike Carruthers asks practical, thought-provoking questions to help listeners reflect on their own behaviors and mindsets. The tone is inquisitive, friendly, and conversational, engaging expert guests to deliver both fascinating science and actionable wisdom.

Part I: Our Emotional Relationship With Robots

Guest: Eve Harold, Science Writer, Author of Robots and the People Who Love: Holding onto our Humanity in an Age of Social Robots
Main segment: 06:16 – 26:55

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Humans Anthropomorphize Machines

  • Humans are "hardwired to be social creatures" and tend to "anthropomorphize anything that we interact with.”
  • We easily treat machines with even minimal social cues (like voice or movement) as if they were alive.
    • Eve Harold (06:34):

      “It's kind of intrinsic to who we are... we have unconscious responses to anything that looks and sounds and moves and seems almost human or almost alive.”

• The Uncanny Valley Effect

  • When robots become very realistic — but not perfect — they can trigger unease or even revulsion in humans, termed the “uncanny valley.”
    • Eve Harold (07:21):

      “When robots enter a certain zone... characterized by hyper realism with glitches... it brings up images of things like zombies and undead ... It’s a disturbing feeling.”

• Robots Can Fool Human Emotions

  • Studies show people of all backgrounds can be emotionally manipulated or confused by robots.
    • Eve Harold (09:04):

      “It's really easy, alarmingly easy, for robots to convince us that they have an inner life and that they're actually conscious and alive... these robots are able to push their emotional buttons.”

• Famous Social Robots and Their Impact

  • Sophia: A highly realistic robot with animated facial expressions.
    • First robot to receive citizenship (in Saudi Arabia).
    • Used for tech demonstrations.
  • Pepper: A robot that can teach, entertain, and provide therapy, with applications in education and healthcare.
    • Eve Harold (10:16, 20:57):

      “Sophia...she has all these facial expressions...she became the first robot to receive citizenship.”
      “Pepper can teach, entertain, and watch over children...can do cognitive behavioral therapy... So you put these programs together with flexible, movable, animated materials, and it really creates an illusion.”

• Prevalence of “Everyday” Robots

  • Devices like Roomba vacuums and Alexa are examples of current robots in ordinary lives.
  • People naturally thank their robots and treat them as if they have feelings.
    • Eve Harold (13:48):

      “People even thank their Roombas... it’s just part of human psychology... anthropomorphism is one.”

• Deferment to Robot “Authority”

  • People often assume robots are more intelligent, deferring to their opinions even when they’re wrong.
    • Eve Harold (18:57):

      “People tend to overestimate the intelligence of robots and underestimate their own. ... 80% of those people change their answer to match the answer of the robot.”

• Risks: Emotional and Societal Implications

  • Potential for humans to prefer robot relationships over real ones, risking social skill atrophy and loneliness.

    • Eve Harold (17:50):

      “Robot relationships are not going to give you [real] growth...studies have shown that when people use them too much, their real social skills atrophy... they actually become less connected, more alienated, and potentially more lonely.”

  • The risk robots may spread misinformation or be influenced by harmful internet content.

    • Eve Harold (22:54):

      “They're connected to the Internet... robots can absorb anything, including bad or false material, and they don't have the capacity to discern whether something is true or untrue.”

• Positive Applications & Hopeful Outlook

  • Robots have great potential: elderly care, children’s therapy, addressing caregiver shortages.
  • The key is to “be conscious and aware” and address predictable (and unpredictable) problems as they arise.

Notable Quotes

• On humans' susceptibility to robots:

  "If you have a robot and it says to you, I love you, you're beautiful, the same parts of your brain light up... as they would if your significant other said them."
  — Eve Harold, (13:48)

• On social skills and robots:

  "Real social skills atrophy. So [people] actually become less connected, more alienated, and potentially more lonely."
  — Eve Harold, (17:50)

Memorable Moment

• Alarm over robot “authority” and the tendency to second-guess oneself in the presence of a robot, even when it’s wrong.
  • A group will change their correct answers to match a robot’s wrong one (18:57)

Part II: The Nature of Confidence

Guest: Viv Grossgup, Writer, Comedian & Executive Coach, Author of Happy High Status: How to Effortlessly Be Confident
Main segment: 28:02 – 49:06

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Universality and Myth of Confidence

  • Confidence is universally admired but not universally understood.
  • There’s no single definition of confidence—it “is in the eye of the beholder.”
    • Viv Grossgup (37:11):

      “There is no consensus as to what confidence really looks like. ... Confidence is like beauty; it is in the eye of the beholder.”

• Origins of Self-Consciousness

  • Human need to avoid “judgment of others” is primal, tied to ancient survival.
  • The “social editor” develops in childhood, helping us fit in, but can also result in excessive self-monitoring and loss of confidence.

• Reality: People Aren’t Really Thinking About You

  • Most people are focused on themselves, not on judging others; this is liberating when realized.
    • Viv Grossgup (30:50):

      “...When you think everyone's thinking about you...other people, they just don't actually really care about you at all, in a good way... we're always operating inside as if there are these really high stakes for everything. And actually most of the time the stakes are much lower than we think.”

• Techniques to Manage Nerves

  • Practical tool: controlled breathing (inhale 4 counts, exhale 6).
  • Physical grounding: feeling the floor, holding an object, can quickly calm nerves and interrupt spiraling thoughts.
    • Viv Grossgup (32:42):

      “...Breathing... four counts in, six counts out, a longer out breath... it will make you feel much more relaxed.”

• Performance Insights from Comedy

  • Many professionals (even stars) use breathing and rituals to manage nerves.
  • Prepare the very first and very last sentences of anything you need to say or perform.

• Confidence ≠ Perfection

  • Visible nerves (shaking, blushing, stumbling) are not disqualifying; embracing imperfection encourages authenticity.
  • Leadership is enhanced by showing vulnerability—more real than flawless perfection.

• Status vs. Social Status

  • “Happy high status” is energy, self-regulation, generosity, not just title or wealth.
    • Viv Grossgup (44:21):

      “I'm talking about how you look at people, how you talk to them, how you listen to them, the space that you make for them... the energy you bring into a room.”

• Authority and Gravitas are Learnable

  • Anyone can develop presence: slow your speech, use an even tone, practice pausing, and make others feel heard.
  • Even gentle, introverted communicators like Greta Thunberg can have lasting impact through authenticity.

• There Is No “Gold Standard” of Confidence

  • Highly confident figures (Obama, Clooney) are admired but not universally liked.
  • True confidence is individual and authentic: “Work with what you’ve got.”

Notable Quotes

• On defining confidence:

  “Release yourself from the judgment of having everybody love you... by just being who you are.”
  — Viv Grossgup, (37:11)

• On embracing imperfections:

  “Stopping, waiting to be perfect, that's really the key to all of this.”
  — Viv Grossgup, (48:21)

• On status and energy:

  “These are not things that really have anything to do with where you stand in society... They're all to do with the energy that you bring.”
  — Viv Grossgup, (44:21)

Memorable Moments

• Viv, on comedians nervous before gigs—even “household names”—using breathing exercises and rituals before performing. (32:42)
• Viv’s guiding insight that you need not and cannot be everyone’s cup of tea: “The right people will be attracted to your confidence. And the wrong people, well, they didn't really matter in the first place.” (37:11)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 06:16 – Eve Harold on why we anthropomorphize robots
• 07:21 – The uncanny valley explained
• 09:04 – How easily robots can fool us emotionally
• 10:16 – Sophia: the robot with human-like features (and citizenship)
• 13:48 – Emotional responses to robots and anthropomorphism
• 17:50 – Dangers of substituting real relationships with robot “companions”
• 18:57 – People deferring to robot “intelligence”
• 20:57 – Technologies like flubber and new robot applications
• 22:54 – The risks of networked robots and AI learning from the internet
• 28:02 – Viv Grossgup on the fundamentals of confidence
• 30:50 – Most people are preoccupied with themselves
• 32:42 – Practical advice: breathing to manage nerves
• 37:11 – Confidence is subjective; be yourself
• 44:21 – “Happy high status”: how you interact matters more than your position
• 48:21 – Authenticity over perfection

Takeaways

• On robots: As social robots become more lifelike and capable, our propensity to relate to them as sentient beings creates both opportunity and risk. Staying aware of their limitations—intellectually and emotionally—is essential for maintaining human well-being and growth.

• On confidence: There's no universal template for confidence. Authenticity, small rituals, embracing imperfection, and focusing outwards—toward others—are the keys. Confidence is accessible to anyone willing to work with their own style rather than striving for an unattainable ideal.

Recommended reading:

• Robots and the People Who Love by Eve Harold
• Happy High Status: How to Effortlessly Be Confident by Viv Grossgup