Podcast Summary:

Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers
Episode: Powerful Ways to Regulate Your Emotions & What Laughter Does for You
Date: January 12, 2026

Overview

In this insightful episode, host Mike Carruthers explores the science behind emotional regulation and the deeper purpose of laughter. The episode is divided into two main interviews featuring:

• Dr. Ryan Martin, psychologist and author of "Emotion: 50 Ways to Feel Better Fast," who shares practical emotion "hacks" that help people respond more effectively to life's daily stressors.
• Christopher Duffy, comedian, TV writer, and author of "Humor Me," who unpacks the evolutionary role, social power, and tangible benefits of laughter.

The episode is rich with actionable advice, memorable anecdotes, and science-backed insights to help listeners lead more balanced, connected, and joyful lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Kids Remember Most About Parents (04:07–05:40)

• Memorable Parental Behaviors:
  • Children remember feeling safe (e.g., parent chased away “monsters under the bed”).
  • Negative memories form when children see parents lose their temper.
  • Children value parents’ undivided attention and cherish when parents pause their activity to engage.
  • Parents model relationships through their interactions with each other.
  • Words of affirmation (or criticism) from parents shape children’s self-worth.
  • Family traditions provide predictability and lasting memories.

2. Regulating Emotions with Dr. Ryan Martin

The Nature of Emotions & Emotion Hacks (07:06–09:32)

• Small Changes, Big Impact:
  “Sometimes people think, well, in order to feel happier... I need some sort of big life change. And that might be true for some people... but a lot of times the answers... is to make... a handful of little changes.”
  — Dr. Ryan Martin (07:14)

• Example: Staying Hydrated:
  “Drinking water and staying hydrated is something that affects our emotional life. When we get dehydrated, we are more emotionally reactive.”
  — Dr. Ryan Martin (08:21)

• Emotional Experiences Involve:

  • The stimulus itself (e.g., traffic jam).
  • Your mood at the time (hungry, tired, stressed).
  • Your thoughts about the event (“Is everyone here an idiot?”)
  • Your emotional response.
  • Your outward behavior (e.g., honking, yelling).

Responding vs. Preventing Emotional Episodes (09:32–11:13)

• There are both preventative and in-the-moment strategies for emotional regulation.
• Proactive self-care (hydration, sleep, managing stress, choosing your environment) makes you less susceptible to emotional overwhelm.

Diagramming Emotional Incidents (11:13–13:33)

• Reflective Practice: Break down episodes after they occur (like “watching game tape” in sports).
• “Think about what an intervention looks like at each stage—how can you prevent a meltdown, or respond better next time?”
  — Dr. Ryan Martin

Training Rational Thinking & Reflection (14:08–16:04)

• Emotions “influence your brain in ways that make it harder... to think rationally.”
• After emotional events, reflect honestly—don’t focus on others’ mistakes; ask, “What could I do differently next time?”
• Reflection builds preparedness for future emotional challenges.

The Value of Control & Preparation (17:17–21:06)

• Focus on controllable aspects of situations (like your body language or communication), especially in interpersonal conflict.

• You can mentally rehearse how to handle recurring triggers (e.g., traffic jams).

• Use of Mantras:
  “The mantra I use is ‘do the next right thing.’ That is my way of giving myself some grace for the fact that I may have made mistakes in the past...”
  — Dr. Ryan Martin (20:36)

Preventing Catastrophizing & Spiral Thinking (21:30–23:20)

• Allow yourself a brief moment to “spiral” out, but then refocus:
  1. How bad is this, really?
  2. What can I do to mitigate or solve the issue?
• Taking some ownership disrupts helplessness and empowers action.

Lesser-Known Emotion Hacks (23:34–27:15)

• Spending Time in Nature:
  • Walking, looking out at greenery, or even watching nature videos have positive effects.
  • Adding a simple task, like birdwatching, amplifies benefits.
• Engagement with the Arts:
  • Participating or observing arts (expressive writing, crafts, performance) boosts self-esteem and happiness.
• Socializing: Connecting with others helps regulate stress and emotions.
• Art as Mindfulness: Dr. Martin personally uses a coloring book to help break racing thought cycles.

3. The Science & Purpose of Laughter with Christopher Duffy (29:46–49:34)

Why Study Laughter? (29:57–30:43)

• Laughter is “fun” and “missing as a social value in today’s heavy, serious world.”
• “Lightness and laughter... I think it is so important.”
  — Christopher Duffy (30:18)

Laughter is Universal and Social (30:49–32:55)

• Laughter occurs across all cultures and continents, serving as a fundamental social bond.

• “Laughter occurs much more frequently when we’re in social settings.”
  — (31:47)

• Laughter creates memories and anchors us in the present:
  “When you are laughing, you are not half laughing and kind of half out. When you’re really, really laughing, you are fully in it with the other person.”
  — Christopher Duffy (32:24)

What Makes Something Funny? (33:00–34:51)

• Benign Violation Theory: Humor exists in the sweet spot between the forbidden and the safe. (E.g., Tickling is “playful attack.”)
• Encryption Theory: A joke is a “lock,” laughter occurs when someone possesses the “key.”
• Ability to detect authentic laughter is evolutionary—fake laughter signals someone is not truly in your group.

Laughter as Social Lubricant (34:51–36:21)

• Positive social experiences are amplified by laughter.
• “We like being with people who make us laugh, and we like people who find us funny.” — Mike Carruthers (34:51)
• Finding humor is subjective; “sense of humor” is about seeing the absurd, laughing at oneself, and connecting with others.

Is Humor Inborn or Learned? (37:49–39:26)

• Duffy argues it’s universal in children and can be strengthened through practice.
• “A sense of humor is a mindset and mental muscle you can strengthen and grow and make stronger.” — Christopher Duffy (37:49)
• Adults may “lose” humor due to social pressures, but it can be reclaimed.

The 'Math' and Rules of Comedy (40:47–45:10)

• Rule of Three: Repeating something three times typically maximizes comedic effect.

• Punchline Placement: “You want the funniest word to be last... so that laughter can fill [the] pause.” — Duffy (41:06)

• Escalation: Comedy is often funnier when jokes escalate but don’t leap too far, too fast.

• Practical tip for life: “If you have a funny anecdote... don’t add a sentence after your punchline. End with it and pause for laughter.”

Navigating Humor Boundaries (45:10–46:43)

• Comedy is context-dependent and subjective; it’s inevitable to cross boundaries at times.
• Own up to missteps: “A really big piece... is being willing to laugh at yourself.” — Duffy

Laughter as Medicine (46:43–49:34)

• While not literally “the best medicine,” laughter reframes stressful or painful experiences and measurably improves health outcomes:
  • An ER doctor notes laughter reduces perceived pain during procedures.
  • A study with elderly patients in Hong Kong found laughter reduced pain and loneliness.
• “Changing the way people think about and feel about their condition is a real important medical outcome.” — Duffy

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We measure love primarily by our attentiveness... Those will be memories etched in their minds and hearts forever.”
  — Mike Carruthers on parenting (04:30)
• “Drinking water and staying hydrated... affects our emotional life. When we get dehydrated, we are more emotionally reactive.”
  — Dr. Ryan Martin (08:21)
• “Think about what an intervention looks like in each category... not just in the moment, but what you can do next time.”
  — Dr. Ryan Martin (13:13)
• “You want the funniest word to be last... and give them space to laugh.”
  — Christopher Duffy (41:06, 45:07)
• “Laughter occurs much more frequently in social settings. This is why I love laughter: you’re locked in a moment with your friend, laughing so hard you’re crying.”
  — Christopher Duffy (31:47, 32:04)
• “Laughter can release tension and reframe how you see things... and that can actually play a role in your recovery.”
  — Christopher Duffy (47:55)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:07] – What children remember most about their parents
• [07:02] – Introduction to Dr. Ryan Martin and emotion hacks
• [08:21] – The impact of hydration on emotions
• [13:33] – Diagramming and reflecting on emotional episodes
• [20:36] – Using mantras for emotional regulation
• [23:34] – Surprising emotion hacks: nature, arts, socializing
• [27:15] – Artistic activities as emotional self-care
• [29:46] – Introduction to Christopher Duffy and laughter
• [31:47] – The social and present-focused nature of laughter
• [33:00] – Theories about what makes things funny
• [41:06] – The 'math' of comedy; rule of three and punchline placement
• [46:43] – Health benefits of laughter; laughter as medicine

Conclusion

This episode equips listeners with practical, research-backed strategies for handling emotions and highlights the vital role of laughter in social bonding and personal well-being. From hydration and mindful reflection to the “rule of three” in comedy, it offers a toolkit for feeling better, connecting more deeply, and finding humor in the everyday.