B (4:10)

Michael, thank you so much for having me. A true pleasure to be here.

A (4:13)

So what's your sense of how dangerous the world is?

B (4:18)

I think it's a twofold outlook. One is that if you could be born at any time in the history of mankind, right now is the absolute best time to be alive. We have never been safer. Medical advancements have never been greater. Life expectancy has never been higher. Crime rate has never been lower. Food has never been more plentiful. And the quality of life that one can expect to live right now is far superior to at any other time in our history. Now, when it comes to our physical safety, our actual sense of safety, we sometimes feel that the world is a more dangerous place than it ever was before. And in certain instances, that may be true. The incidences of, let's say, mass violence are now higher than they have ever been in our history. But also, like, when it comes to, like, say, things like car crashes or child abduction or sexual assault, those things were always going on. It's just that there wasn't this pervasive promotion of those horrific acts in news stories or the media or what have you. When we see these things on social media, they're happening to other people. So our anxiety about our risk of those things has a tendency to go up.

A (5:37)

Despite how anxious people get about their security and their safety, it doesn't seem like, you know, except for maybe getting an alarm system for the house and making sure you lock your front door, it doesn't seem like people do A lot to prepare for that, because you can't prepare for every possible threat that could occur. So you tend not to prepare for any threat that could occur. So what do you suggest preparing people do?

B (6:03)

Audit yourself with honesty. Just really all, most of us, most people will never be in a plane crash or a terror concern or an active shooter situation or a kidnap for ransom exploit, but all of us need to participate in our own protection. Everyday safety requires the participation of everyone and a healthy sense of skepticism and a moderate dose of vigilance. Kind of having more of a framework of playing chess than of playing checkers is all most people need to live a happy, healthy, successful, and especially a safe existence.

A (6:38)

And so what does that mean, to have a healthy skepticism? Because you do what?

B (6:43)

So let's say everyone, everywhere I go, every speech I give, one of the big topics of conversation always comes down to home security, residential security. How do I keep my home safe? Do I need a gun? Do I need a dog? Do I, do I need a ring, camera? Do I need adt? Like, what do I do to keep myself safe? And for the most part, all most people need to do is lock their front door. Because 85% of home invasions are the result of someone just walking in through the front door. You know, bad guys are kind of like lions stalking the gazelles. They don't go after the strongest of the herd, they go after the weakest.

A (7:18)

I remember hearing some security expert talk about this, and I chuckled when I heard him say this and took his advice to heart, that if you were locked out of your house and you didn't have a key and you had to basically break into your own house, you probably would know how to do it. You probably know where that weak spot is, right?

B (7:43)

Because now they're thinking, oh, well, you know, my wife hates it when I stink up the downstairs bathroom, so she always cracks the window. Or the kids who come home from soccer practice and they don't lock the garage door or the doors on the first floor are locked. But I know that I can, if I can shimmy up to the second floor deck, I can go in through that door, no problem. Well, all of those ways that you would break into your house are the exact same way that a bad guy would break into your house. So now that you know what those risks are, put the safeguards in place to keep those bad things from happening.

A (8:10)

When a criminal targets your home, what's their intention? What are they thinking?

B (8:16)

Most people who come during the day are coming for your things. Most people who come at night are coming for you. But where most people may have a security plan to keep bad guys from coming in, Most people like the number one vulnerability of most residential security plans that I audit is that they don't have a plan for what to do once someone gets in. So should that actually turn into a home invasion where you are inside the house, what is your plan? Are you going to get out? Do you have a safe room? Do you have a fallback plan? Are the kids going to come to you? Are you going to go to the kids? What is your family reunification plan if everyone's just going to go out different exits? So having like the most. What is the most realistic risk you are most likely to face and then put the safeguards in place to reduce the overall impact of that risk. Bottom line is that we can no longer afford to live in a world where we simply hope that nothing will happen and then solely rely on the first responders to save us once something does.

A (9:13)

What is the most likely safety threat anybody faces?

B (9:18)

Is it overconfidence?

A (9:20)

Overconfidence?

B (9:22)

Most people are overconfident. Most people think, well, I have mace, so I'm protected, or I carry a gun, so I'm protected. Most of us would love to believe that in a scenario that we would be the hero, that we would rise up, that we would fight back or we would run away. Most people freeze, Most people panic. Most people don't understand why they're feeling this way because they never expected to feel that way. And when they're in that situation, they make decisions which are more in line with being a victim than of being a survivor. But if you understand that that is something that might happen to you, you might be the kind of person that has to be more proactive in identifying the exits or the uncommon exits, or having a mental projection for what you want your body to perform so that when it is called upon to engage in, it is able to do so in a more effective fashion. Most of us, you know, when we put our seatbelts on, it's not that we're expecting to get into an accident. It's that we understand that there's a likelihood of us getting into an accident, so we want to participate in our own protection. The same holds true for anywhere we go. If something was to break bad, where would I go? How would I get out of here? What, other than the door that I just walked into? What are the other exits? Or if I get that feeling that something isn't right, to not just argue against your survival instincts, but to actually participate in your own protection and put as much time and distance between you and that threat as possible.

A (10:50)

So talk about that feeling that something isn't right feeling. The elevator door opens and there's that guy, and you go, eh, I don't know. And most of us just suck it up and say, well, I'm just being paranoid, and get in the elevator, right?

B (11:06)

And then the doors close and you're stuck in a steel soundproof box with a bad guy. And then you're thinking, oh, why did I do that?

A (11:13)

And I think what often drives that decision is you don't want to offend someone. You don't. That guy on the elevator may be giving you the creeps, but you don't. That's not who you are. You don't want to be offensive.

B (11:27)

Being polite is a courtesy, but protecting ourselves is a priority. But we have, because we live in such a safe society, just sort of assumed that we're being irrational or that we're just being anxious or that we don't want to offend the feelings of someone else. But staying safe is ultimately about trusting that survival instinct, because it is that survival instinct that has allowed for the human race to survive and thrive for a millennia. And if we keep negotiating against our own better interest, the more likely we are, the more our vigilance goes down, the more our risk goes up. And that ultimately means that we are going to be making more and more decisions that will put us into the pitfalls of danger.

A (12:14)

We're talking about safety, personal safety. And my guest is Spencer Courson. He's author of the book the Safety A Security Expert's Secrets for Staying Safe in a Dangerous World. This time of year, springtime always does this to me. I start looking at my closet, thinking, I don't need more clothes. I just need better clothes. Fewer things, but ones I actually want to wear. Which is why I keep going back to Quint's. Their stuff. It just feels easy. The fabrics are great, like their linen pieces, which are perfect for this time of year. Lightweight, breathable, but they still look so put together. I've also been wearing their pants and polos a lot. They've become my default. Comfortable, good fit. And they hold up. And then you look at the price, and it's like, wait, really? Because Quince cuts out the middleman, so you're getting quality materials without paying for a name brand, which honestly makes getting dressed a lot simpler. And my wife buys almost all of her clothes from Quince, too. Refresh your wardrobe with quince go to quince.comsysk for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q U I n c-e.com sysk for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com sysk you ever notice how a lot of people have a business idea and it just kind of sits there? Not because it's a bad idea, but. But because starting it feels like such a project. You've got to figure out a website and payments and marketing. It's a lot. That's why I love Shopify. It takes all of that and puts it in one place so you can actually just start. You can build a store really quickly using their templates and it doesn't look like something you just threw together. It looks fabulous. And their AI tools help with things like product descriptions, headlines, even photos, which is usually where people get stuck. And once it's up, Shopify helps you find customers too. Email, social, all built in. So you're not sitting there wondering, okay, now what? It's why so many businesses use Shopify. From big brands to people just getting started, it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial@shopify.com sysk go to shopify.com sysk that's shopify.com sysk so, Spencer, what about the situation? And I think everybody's had this situation happen where you're somewhere and somebody comes up to you and they start a conversation. It doesn't, it doesn't feel right. It's like, this could lead to trouble. It sounds off. What do you do?

B (15:26)

Walk away. There is absolutely no law that states that just because someone strikes up a conversation with you that you have to have a conversation with that person. Or that because you feel a certain way, you have to give them the opportunity to prove you wrong. Anytime you feel like I have, I have clients who will say, well, like, what do I do if I'm like blindfolded and handcuffed in the back of a trunk? I'm like, well, how did you get there in the first? It's not like you just like woke up one morning handcuffed and blindfolded in the back of a trunk. Like, you saw the guy three blocks ahead that kind of made you feel weird. And then he got two blocks away and he. And you felt even more weird. And then you noticed the van that was kind of creeping down the street from the other direction. And then the guy got within one block and you're like, man, this just doesn't feel right. And then you see the van getting closer, and then the van is right next to you and the guy is pushing you into the back, and you're like, wow, I was right. This wasn't right. Three blocks away was when you should have made the decision, hey, this isn't right. I'm just going to make a turn here and circle the block. Sometimes when we're driving home, it's good to take different routes home. And the reason I talk about that isn't because you need to employ some kind of like, James Bond, Ethan Hunt, Carrie Matheson, Spy guy, route selection to keep you from being a threat. It's because most accidents happen within one mile of our home. And most of those accidents hit another parked car. Because when we are so used to doing something, we allow our subconscious to take over and we are no longer adamant about or present in the moment about the actual decisions we're making. A flip side of that is that if you just start taking different routes home, you're going to have to be engaged. And a byproduct of that is also that if someone just does happen to be doing surveillance on you or counter surveillance on you or does want to target your home for, you know, for a home invasion, just that variable could be the decision that basically gets them to transfer their likelihood of success to someone else. Because one of the things that my global experience has proven time and time and time again is that when we don't expect to see danger, we simply fail to see the warning signs that something bad is about to happen. But the warning signs are always there, and staying safe is about being willing to see them. You know, it's kind of like sometimes feeling safe is the most dangerous thing we do. We don't stub our toes on the things we notice. We stub our toes on the things we don't. But it's not like that Lego on the floor in the kitchen was hiding in wait and then slid out just as we stepped our foot down to, like to ambush us. It was always there. We just weren't expecting to see it, so we didn't feel the need to

A (18:07)

look because most of the time it isn't there. So why look if most of the time it isn't there? You feel pretty comfortable not looking.

B (18:17)

Which is another thing about safety. You know, there's that old. That old tenet in good leadership. You anticipate the needs of others. Safety is sometimes about anticipating the idiocy of others. Like when we're driving. We're always kind of like at this, like, higher state of readiness because we. The guy who's bobbing and weaving out of traffic or who doesn't use the turn signal to jump in our lane, we're aware of the risks, and so we're willing to participate. And we're engaged and we're present. We're ready with the countermeasures or to move or to break or to stop. And like I said, it's not about living in fear. It's just a healthy sense of skepticism. Like, why is this guy asking me the time when everyone has a watch and an iPhone? There's no need for this guy to ask me what time it is. So what's the ulterior motive? Or, yeah, that guy who's just, like, sitting by himself in the hotel lobby and staring at me is creeping me out. So I'm just going to move, or I'm going to not sit by myself, or I'm going to get on the phone, or I'm going to engage the bartender and ask who he is. I'm not just going to just put myself at more of a position of vulnerability because I don't want to engage. We have to engage. But there are ways to engage in a very friendly, very interactive, very socially dynamic and positive way that if we're wrong, we're still safe. But if we're right, we're even safer.

A (19:33)

Like you said, though, if you don't engage, if you're not looking for danger, you'll fail to see the warning signs. But I also worry, too, that if you're always looking for danger, you're always going to see danger. And I don't know that I want to live my life that way, where I'm always on alert, I'm always looking for trouble.

B (19:55)

You should live your life like you drive your car. You're not constantly afraid of getting into an accident, but you're cognizant of the risks that surround you while you're driving. And then you're putting the safeguards into place. Your everyday life is exactly the same way. Like, you're not afraid to drive, are you?

A (20:09)

No.

B (20:10)

Okay, so then you shouldn't be afraid to go to Starbucks, or you shouldn't be afraid to go to the grocery store. You shouldn't be afraid to go to the mall. But just like when you're on your car driving, if you see someone coming up behind you, you look to see where. Which, like, do I want to go to the shoulder or do I want to go to the middle lane. Like, which way am I going to go if this guy keeps coming up behind me? When you go to the movie theater, just look. Okay, well, if someone comes in the front, I can go out the back. Or look, there's a side door here, there's an exit there.

A (20:37)

I think it's human nature, though, that if you live a life that is relatively safe, seldom does anything dangerous happen to you. Seldom do the people you know have anything dangerous happen to them. It's very. To stay vigilant against danger. You almost feel foolish being so vigilant when nothing ever really seems to happen.

B (21:00)

I completely agree. And then here's what happens. We have a tendency, not just as individuals, but as a collective society, to want to live our lives on the fringe of the pendulum. Swinging between complacency, where we say that nothing's gonna happen, or hypervigilance, where we're like, patting down grandma at the ballpark, like after something bad. Like, let's say like a school shooting, for example. Like, there's all these cops out front of the school and like, everyone's locked down and they're following the policy and the procedure, like steps one through ten for access control. The doors are locked and the windows are closed and everyone's on guard. And the politicians are out there saying that they're gonna get, you know, gun reform, and the parents are demanding action and the students are marching for peace. And then like a day or two goes by and the news cycle moves on and everything kind of goes back to normal. And, well, it's been safe for a week, it's been safe for 10 days, it's been safe for a month. We go back to the pendulum, over to complacen, and then what happens? There's another school shooting and we do the same cycle all over again. That is the safety trap. And that just coming to the middle, that no longer living on the fringe, but just that everyday safety requires the participation of everyone. Framework of understanding is really all of us need to succeed in staying safe. And those very simple components are critical, but also very simple for, and also just very small prices to pay for the liberties and the freedoms which flow so freely from peace. But to your point, you're exactly right. When you start just thinking that nothing's going to happen, your vigilance goes down, your risk goes up. And that is the paradox of the safety trap.

A (22:36)

When you look at the practices and the procedures that are in place for businesses or schools or whatever, what are the things where you see the Weak spots. Where are the problems?

B (22:49)

Run, hide, fight. Run, hide, fight has done more disservice to the survivability of those who are in schools or workplaces that are targeted for violence. So here's the problem is that schools care more about accountability than they do about survivability. And what do I mean by that? The whole premise of run, hide, fight was a military application. It came from Searschool, where pilots and special operators would be trained in what to do if you were ever taken prisoner of war. And basically what that meant was if you got shot down behind enemy lines and you were captured and you were considered a prisoner of war, if you had the opportunity to escape, you ran as far as you can trying to get to friendly forces. Now, if you got to the point where you were so tired you couldn't move anymore, you would hide. You would camouflage yourself until you got your energy back, and then you would keep running. And if you were to be confronted by the enemy, you would fight like your life depended on it, because it absolutely did. Now, Sandy Hook happens, Columbine happens, all of these tragedy things, and this cottage industry stops popping up about active shooter drills and what are you going to do? And this, that, and the other thing. And run, hide, fight basically got reduced to run to your hiding spot. But here's the problem. A fire in a building is just as dangerous and as unpredictable as an active shooter. But we wouldn't hide from a fire and hope it wouldn't find us. We would run because running puts as much time and distance between you and the threat as possible, which is harder to hit. The kid crying in the corner in a classroom or the kid who's running and putting time and distance away from the bad guy with each step they take. So what we should really be doing is telling these students, these teachers, these families, these friends that if you are ever in a situation where violence is being enacted, do not hide, run. Put as much time and distance between you and the threat as possible.

A (24:51)

Well, I think the thinking is, though, that you could run out of the classroom or run out of your workplace and run right into the guy with a gun that you're better off hiding. He can't see you, so he's less likely to shoot you.

B (25:03)

You. You don't have to see someone to shoot someone. Schools are not fortified hard rooms. They're plywood doors with glass. Bullets travel through doors and windows with ease. Watch any John Wick movie. So just, you know, being behind a red line in a classroom, because that's the line where the student can't see through the glass. You don't think that student knows the layer out of the classroom? They absolutely do. And guess what? They can just shoot through the door. So which would you want your student to be? Putting as much time and distance between them and the threat as possible or hiding in the corner and hoping they don't get hurt? I know that I'm teaching my kids to run. I hope you do the same.

A (25:42)

But there are situations, I think, where there's conflicting advice of if somebody asks for your wallet, just give it to them. Because then you're going to avoid. But there are other times where you don't comply because if you're getting put.

B (25:57)

And here's the thing. Yeah, no, you're exactly right. If someone is going to give you. If someone asks for your wallet, give them your wallet. But don't give them your wallet, throw it behind them because they care about your wallet. They don't care about you. So give them your wallet, but throw it behind them. As soon as they turn around, run. Because they're not going to chase you because they got what they want. But there is no point in handing it to them. So now you're giving them an opportunity to get more from you.

A (26:19)

Well, it makes sense. And that's advice I hope I never have to use. Spencer Courson has been my guest. He is a nationally recognized threat management expert and the name of his book is the Safety a Security Expert Secrets for Staying Safe in a Dangerous World. And you'll find a link to that book at Amazon in the show notes. Thank you, Spencer. Thanks for being here.

B (26:40)

Thank you, sir.

A (26:42)

And that wraps up this week's Sysk trending episode. I'm Micah Ruthers. Thanks for listening to something you should know.