Something You Should Know

Episode: The Secrets Twins Share & Subtle Money Mistakes to Avoid – SYSK Choice
Host: Mike Carruthers
Guests: Helena DeBres (philosopher & twin), Vivian Tu (personal finance expert)
Release Date: February 14, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode delves into two intriguing topics: the unique world of twins—with its myths, social perceptions, and scientific insights—and common personal finance mistakes that people make, along with practical, novel advice to improve your financial life. Host Mike Carruthers interviews Helena DeBres, a twin and philosophy professor, about the realities and cultural perceptions of being a twin, followed by a conversation with Vivian Tu, a self-made millionaire and finance educator, on how to avoid subtle money pitfalls and cultivate a healthier relationship with finances.

Segment 1: The Fascination and Reality of Twins

Guest: Helena DeBres, author of How to Be: The Philosophy of Twins
Timestamps: 04:39–27:43

Key Discussion Points

• Why Are Twins So Intriguing?

  • Twins elicit both fascination and confusion, often peppered with questions about telepathy, shared identity, and mind-reading.

    "When you're a twin, especially an identical twin who looks a lot like your twin, you get asked these same questions over and over." – Helena DeBres (06:50)

• Myths vs. Science: Telepathy and Shared Minds

  • Popular belief in mystical twin communication isn't backed by science. The real 'connection' comes from extremely close collaboration, shared experiences, and deep familiarity with each other's minds—not supernatural abilities.

    "Twins do have a very, very intimate understanding of each other's minds... But that's different from actually being able to read what's going on inside someone else's mind." – Helena DeBres (06:50)

• Identity and Shared Self

  • The idea of twins as 'one person in two bodies’ persists, but is challenged by twins themselves. However, some level of shared agency and merged identity is undeniable, at least compared to other siblings.

    "I suddenly said [to my twin], 'I'm going to the restroom. Do you want me to go for you too?'... I really felt like I could somehow, you know, use the restroom on behalf of my twin." – Helena DeBres (09:17)

• Twins Raised Apart: Genes vs. Environment

  • Famous studies (e.g., Minnesota Twins Reared Apart) show twins separated at birth often develop striking similarities, sometimes more so than twins raised together. This raises philosophical questions about free will and the influence of genetics vs. environment.

    "Twins who were raised apart were more similar to each other than twins who were raised together... when you're raised together you're kind of forced to differentiate yourself." – Helena DeBres (11:53)

• Twin Hierarchies and Fraternal Twins

  • Society often elevates identical twins over fraternal twins due to visual similarities; however, the closeness of the twin relationship transcends physical resemblance.

    "In a way, it's like a hierarchy within the twin community where identicals are the stars... I want to push back on that. What really matters about twinhood is the relationship." – Helena DeBres (13:19)

• The Reality of Twin Relationships

  • Not all twins get along—relationships vary from inseparably close to estranged, challenging idealized or pathologically dark representations.

    "There is an idealized or romantic vision of twinhood... but some twins are completely estranged... Most twinships are actually somewhere in the middle." – Helena DeBres (20:04)

• Twins in Pop Culture and Horror

  • Twins frequently appear in horror and gothic fiction as symbols of the uncanny, often portrayed as “freakish” or “deviant.”

    "Horror movies are filled with twins... conjoined twins... or codependency situations..." – Helena DeBres (21:50)

• Singletons and the Allure of Switching Identities

  • Non-twins are called “singletons”—not derogatory, though easily misconstrued! Pop culture loves the idea of twins swapping places, playing into anxieties about slippery or ambiguous identity.

• The Twin Experience, Childhood, and Individualism

  • DeBres shares personal anecdotes about resisting pressure to be overtly “twinny” and how twins use twinhood for social charm or camaraderie on their own terms.

Notable Quotes

• "Twins aren't just seen as unusual, they're seen as odd. A bit freakish... You don't have people going on and on about people with green eyes or making horror films about them." – Helena DeBres (23:16)
• "'Singleton'... some people don't like it because it sounds a little too close to simpleton. It's not meant to be derogatory." – Helena DeBres (24:24)
• "Occasionally, every twin likes to ham up their twinhood. It's a source of social charisma and charm." – Helena DeBres (27:07)

Segment 2: Subtle Money Mistakes and New Approaches to Your Finances

Guest: Vivian Tu, CEO of Rich BFF Media
Timestamps: 30:22–49:52

Key Insights & Action Items

• Why Aren’t We Taught About Money?

  • Personal finance is rarely taught, leading most people to learn by (costly) trial and error.

    "It's really frustrating to me that personal finance is not a federally mandated subject in schools because frankly we could all afford to be a little bit better with our money." – Vivian Tu (30:38)

• Scapegoating Small Spending Habits

  • Media and popular gurus often blame 'avocado toast' and coffee for millennials’ financial woes—misdirecting from the real issues.

    "Are those really the major issues we need to be tackling, or are those the things we're treating as scapegoats?" – Vivian Tu (31:12)

• Vivian’s STRIP Method for Money Management

  • Savings: Build a 3-6 month emergency fund.
  • Total Debt: Prioritize payments to highest-interest debt first.
  • Retirement: Use tax-advantaged accounts (401k, IRA, etc.).
  • Invest: Don't just save—put your money to work in the market, using index funds, target date funds, or robo-advisors.
  • Plan: Define your “happily ever after” and plan finances backwards from your ideal lifestyle.

    "I have a method... STRIP. S stands for savings, T for total debt, R for retirement, I for invest, P for plan." – Vivian Tu (32:18)

• The Power of Compounding

  • Early investing is crucial; starting in your 20s yields much better outcomes than starting later, due to compounding interest’s exponential effect.

    "It's not about money. It's about time. The more time you have, the more your money has the ability to tap into compound interest." – Vivian Tu (35:38)

• What "Saving for Retirement" Really Means

  • You can’t simply save; investing is essential to outpace inflation and achieve financial independence. Vivian explains how to calculate your “F-U Number”—the amount you need invested so gains cover your living expenses.

    "Saving isn't going to get you there anymore. You're going to need to invest because that's the only way your money can grow with you and keep up with inflation." – Vivian Tu (36:48)

• Earning vs. Scrimping

  • Don’t let frugality be the only lever—ask for raises, seek better opportunities, and balance cost-cutting with income growth.

    "To get more money... one side is scrimping and saving and the other half is asking for more." – Vivian Tu (39:11)

• Make Finances Fun—Not a Drag

  • Budgeting and smart money management are sources of freedom and enable guilt-free splurges.

    “One of the greatest things that budgeting allowed me to do was buy a black Saffiano leather Prada bag.” – Vivian Tu (41:12)

• Common Money Pitfalls

  • Dollar Dribbling: Wasting small sums on forgettable status items or trends.
  • Failing to Negotiate: Almost everything is negotiable, including medical bills, phone plans, and even department store items.

    "A cardinal sin is dollar dribbling, where you spend money you don't have on things you don't need to impress people you don't like." – Vivian Tu (42:44, 01:12) "You can negotiate every single aspect of your life, and people don’t do it enough." – Vivian Tu (44:19)

• Lifestyle Creep

  • As income rises, so do expenses. Automate savings at every raise to avoid spending it all.

    "Suddenly, at the end of the month, I'd look at my bank statements, and I'd be like, I'm no better off than when I had my first job." – Vivian Tu (45:28)

• Credit Cards and ‘Hacks’

  • Used wisely, rewards credit cards can finance travel and perks. Rebates/cashback apps multiply savings.

    "That's how I paid for my last vacation... five star hotel and all of it was free because I paid for it in points." – Vivian Tu (47:32)

Notable Quotes

• "The best day to start investing was yesterday, and the second best day is today." – Vivian Tu (35:38)
• "You should be getting something for everything you buy these days." – Vivian Tu (48:14)
• "One of my personal, like, views as, like, a cardinal sin is dollar dribbling..." – Vivian Tu (42:44)

Brief “Quick Tip”: How to Fix a Stuck Ballpoint Pen

Timestamp: 49:56

• Scribble on paper, draw circles on glass, heat the tip, or lubricate the ball with window cleaner. (50:00)

  "If you have a pen and the ink is not coming out... try scribbling like crazy on a piece of paper, try drawing circles on glass..." – Mike Carruthers (49:56)

Episode Takeaways

• Twins are not just scientifically interesting but illuminate broader questions about identity, collaboration, and social perception.
• Personal finance is best tackled proactively—early, often, and with joy—not shame or dread.
• Strategic negotiation, smart investing, and automated approaches help sidestep common and subtle money mistakes.
• Framing money as enabling fun, security, and freedom—rather than mere scrimping—transforms the whole subject.

Further Resources

• Helena DeBres, How to Be: The Philosophy of Twins – Book link in show notes.
• Vivian Tu, Rich: The Winning Money Mindset that Will Change Your Life – Book link in show notes; find her on TikTok and social media at "Your Rich BFF".