Crazy Rich White Boys | Son of a Boy Dad #319

Summary

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Son of a Boy Dad #319: "Crazy Rich White Boys"

Date: July 22, 2025
Hosts: Lil Sasquatch, Rone, Francis (Peters), Bo

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Episode Overview

In this playful, late-night recording, the Son of a Boy Dad crew dives into the absurdities of everyday life, from candy binges and awkward building snitching to hot takes on pop culture, sports, and masculinity. The central thread running throughout: Lil Sasquatch’s recent college dropout status, prompting existential musings and advice from his wise, often teasing co-hosts. This episode brims with their signature irreverence, sharp wit, and tangential banter, with memorable conversations about masculinity, midlife crises, sports scandals, and evolving cultural tastes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Late Starts & Podcast Dynamics

Timestamps: 01:23–05:00

• The crew rib each other about tardiness and the domino effect it creates:
  • Francis blames Bo for his lateness, resulting in a comedic breakdown of who was late first and calculations of lateness compounding upon lateness.
  • “You just base off the lowest off the latest late and you're like, that's the new time and I'm going to add 15 minutes to that.” — Peters (03:23)
• Goofing on “gooning” and the over-sharing of personal rituals.

2. Golf, Influencers, and Parasocial Bonds

Timestamps: 05:23–08:50

• The group talks about upcoming golf tournaments and the awkwardness of name-dropping:
  • “If I said that to [Nadeshot], he'd be like, get the fuck away from me.” — Peters (06:15)
• Banter about esports (100 Thieves, Nadeshot), fleeting internet fame, and the hierarchies within influencer culture.

3. The Culture Wars: Mascots & Outrage

Timestamps: 09:49–14:34

• Political current events: Discussing possible reversal of team name changes (e.g., Commanders back to Redskins) and the absurdity of culture war battles over sports teams.
• Humor about “woke” backlash and how even some Native Americans see old team names as “an honorable nickname.”
• The dangers of self-editing: “I’m just self-editing so we don’t have to do it later.” — Peters (12:07)

4. Scandals, Defensiveness, and Tribalism

Timestamps: 14:35–18:47

• Comparison between Penn State child abuse scandal and Michael Jackson controversies: Which community is more entrenched in denial?
  • “People worship Michael Jackson to this day with a religious ferocity...” — Peters (17:22)
• Reflection on the psychology of fans and the difficulty of reconciling beloved figure’s wrongdoing.

5. Candy, Regression & Adult Immaturity

Timestamps: 20:10–26:44

• Sas recounts binging on Jolly Rancher gummies and vomiting, paralleling this childishness with an upstate trip by Peters who confesses to similar candy indulgence.
• The trio wax nostalgic about candies, gas station snacks, and the links between sugar rushes and gaming.

6. Urban Legends & Cultural Taboos

Timestamps: 27:16–29:34

• The crew riffs on hiking etiquette (destroying stacked rocks), mountain superstitions, and the lore of Himalayan climbing.
• “They called it like Sucky Sucky or something like that. Something funny.” — Francis (28:33)
• Imaginary origin stories for Sherpas featuring mutations and comic exaggerations.

7. Crazy Rich Asians & Stereotypes

Timestamps: 29:48–32:52

• Anecdote: Young girls obsessed with “Crazy Rich Asians” and now aspiring to marry Asian men for wealth.
  • “Little girls all want an Asian guy...The movie Crazy Rich Asians has them thinking that all Asians are crazy and rich.” — Bo (30:49)
• Satirical exploration of the power of media-driven stereotypes and the hosts roasting each other about being out of touch with Gen Z.

8. Apartment Intruder Incident

Timestamps: 32:52–36:02

• Recap of the infamous child walking into Francis’s apartment, emailing the super, and the fallout.
  • “I don't have any problems regarding the situation…the kid didn't bother me in any way...” — Francis (34:07)
• Discussion about paranoia, building management, and being misperceived as a snitch.

9. Guns, Butchers, and Upstate Life

Timestamps: 39:08–41:47

• Peters paints a portrait of his upstate lifestyle where you pick up rotisserie chicken and a handgun under the same roof.
• Debate over New York’s gun laws and musings on getting a “chrome revolver” just to light cigarettes.

10. YouTube Fame & Passive Income

Timestamps: 41:47–45:01

• The group marvels at gun YouTubers who make millions vaporizing watermelons.
  • “Imagine being that dude just raking in money, just shooting watermelons for like two minutes a year.” — Francis (44:18)
• Jabs at the influencer economy, viral video formulas, and having a son/manager.

11. Golf Humility & Working Class Dominance

Timestamps: 58:28–61:47

• Peters underestimated his electrician and son during a golf match — they turned out to be club champions:
  • “I have never seen someone hit their irons the way that he does. It sounded like when you shoot the 550 at the watermelons.” — Peters (59:40)
• Punchline: Don’t judge by appearance; working-class guys can destroy rich kids at golf.

12. Sasquatch’s Existential Drift

Timestamps: Intermittent, esp. start and late segments

• Theme recurs: what does it mean to be a man, growing up, and developing a worldview after quitting college.
  • “Eventually the game passes all of us.” — Bo (31:20)
• The older co-hosts offer world-weary advice, sprinkled with jokes, on life and ego.

13. Celebrity, Masculinity & Depression

Timestamps: 62:20–66:14

• Extended conversation on the “loneliness at the top” — referencing golf champ’s depression after major wins, and broader issues of fulfillment and mental health.
  • “I've never aspired to relate to something more.” — Peters (63:02)
  • “Why doesn't this make me happier?...he's got depression.” — Bo (64:05)
• The hosts relate their own feelings of emptiness post-achievement.

14. Hot Guys Across Generations

Timestamps: 70:54–71:51

• Debate on which male celebrity typifies “hot” for each generation (Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Timothée Chalamet).
• Discussion of Pedro Pascal’s sudden ubiquity and questions about authenticity.

15. Nostalgia & Stuff Breaking

Timestamps: 73:24–77:32

• Spiral into stories about childhood toys, breaking other kids’ Christmas presents, and the emotional devastation of lost expectations.
• “It broke immediately...I don’t think I’ve ever felt that bad in my entire life.” — Francis (74:32)
• Kumon math program memories and the disappointment of reward toys that fall apart.

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Memorable Quotes

• On Team Name Politics:
  “I didn't know the anti-woke people were still griping about [the Commanders].” — Peters (10:36)

• On Fan Denial:
  “People worship Michael Jackson to this day with a religious ferocity that rivals...Penn State football.” — Peters (17:22)

• On Upstate Blue-Collar Life:
  “Hampton Bays is to the Hamptons what El Salvador is to the Hamptons.” — Peters (22:31)

• On Generational Shifts in ‘Hot Guys’:
  “Millennials idea of a hot guy is Brad Pitt; Gen X is Beckham; Gen Z is Chalamet.” — Bo (70:54)

• On Finding Fulfillment:
  “Why doesn't this make me happier?” — Peters, paraphrasing a depressed golf champion (64:05)

• On Childhood Disasters:
  “Christmas morning...he had a remote control helicopter. I broke it immediately.” — Francis (74:32)

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Notable/Key Timestamps

• 01:39 — Late arrivals and the paradox of being on time/late.
• 06:01 — Discussions about meeting influencers at golf events.
• 09:57 — Political banter about Trump, mascots, and forced nostalgia.
• 14:34 — Comparing Michael Jackson fans to Penn State alumni.
• 20:59 — Jolly Rancher bender and candy-related vomit stories.
• 22:13 — Upstate vs. Hamptons; identity and class divide humor.
• 34:46 — Building email chain over unsupervised child incident.
• 39:15 — The upstate butcher/gun store and New York gun law debates.
• 44:10 — Viral YouTube watermelon-gun vaporizing.
• 58:59 — Choosing golf equipment and skills versus appearances.
• 64:05 — Pro athlete depression riff, victory as an empty experience.
• 70:54 — Societal standards for “hot guys” across generations.

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Tone & Style

The episode exudes characteristic Son of a Boy Dad energy: meandering yet sharp, quick-witted, gleefully tangential, and unafraid to skewer themselves and pop culture alike. The humor is self-deprecating, with a balance of honesty and performance, faux-bravado, and introspection. At its heart, this episode stays true to the format — a bunch of friends riffing with warmth, skepticism, and a healthy dose of absurdity, providing comfort and laughs even as they look for meaning in a world where the rules keep changing.

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Transcript

[Bo]

Hey, Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Francis]

I'm not going back to college to be your friend.

[Peters]

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[Francis]

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[Bo]

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[Francis]

Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for. Get Uber for students a membership to.

[Peters]

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[Peters]

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[Francis]

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[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is July 21st. It's 11:40pm a little later. Am not p.m. a little later than we would have hoped. But I'm. I'm partially to blame for that now.

[Peters]

You are to blame for that.

[Francis]

See, I knew you were going to say that. And I was running it through in the. In the Uber. I was thinking about it. I was like, technically, if you really think about it, Francis was 15 minutes late, and then I was 15 minutes late from Francis's 15 minutes late.

[Peters]

25 minutes late from my 15.

[Francis]

Well, 25 would mean I got here right now.

[Peters]

Nope.

[Francis]

No, that would be 30.

[Peters]

I got here at 11:15, and it's now 11:30. 11:44.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

You got here. What?

[Francis]

We already said that. So I opened the show.

[Peters]

Right.

[Francis]

11:44.

[Peters]

Oh, no. You got here. You got here 10 minutes ago.

[Francis]

Yeah, probably right. So I was 15 minutes late to your 15 minutes late.

[Peters]

Right. So, yeah. So, yeah.

[Francis]

Roan.

[Bo]

Yes.

[Francis]

Great job today.

[Bo]

You have no idea. When I showed up, I could have walked in one minute before you or I could have been crack of dawn.

[Francis]

I. I was scrambling. I'm going to Wyoming tomorrow.

[Peters]

I texted the group that I was going to be 15 minutes late and I felt really bad about it. I was driving from where I live upstate and you know, it's two hours and I left the house and either.

[Francis]

Early or you're late.

[Peters]

20 minutes into the drive, I realized that I didn't have my phone and so I had to double back, go get the phone and then restart the trip. And then I texted the group and said, guys, I'm really sorry. I'm going to be 15 minutes late.

[Francis]

Of course.

[Peters]

And then, sure enough, you showed up 30 minutes late.

[Francis]

Well, no.

[Peters]

Which meant that I never needed to send the text. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't send the text.

[Francis]

I was ready to go. I was up at 8 for hours.

[Peters]

You just base off the lowest off the latest late and you're like, that's the new time and I'm going to add 15 minutes to that.

[Francis]

No, I obviously did not. I didn't plan on getting here 15 minutes after your 15 minute delay. I planned on getting here at 11:15. It just didn't work out like that.

[Peters]

If I'd never sent the text, what time would you have gotten here? Be honest.

[Francis]

11:15. I don't believe that 100%.

[Peters]

But that, that's just, that's just a coincidence. That's a miracle that we would have shown up at the same exact time.

[Francis]

Now I kind of have a pretty good gauge on like around when to show up. Based on like what? When Rome will be here and when you'll be here.

[Peters]

Do you text him individually?

[Francis]

No, but you can get an idea how. If he's not texting in the group chat at all, it means he's probably late.

[Peters]

I love that you are testing the wind and the like cloud signatures of the. The world. You are Pocahontas.

[Francis]

Your tardiness, that's just routine.

[Bo]

You're painting with all the colors of the wind. Wait, so I wasn't texting this morning and I wasn't late? You're saying if I don't text, it means I'm late?

[Francis]

Occasionally, yeah.

[Bo]

I think that's flawed science.

[Peters]

Usually he's late because he tells us he's going to be late because he's dealing with his children like a beating excuse.

[Francis]

I don't know about that.

[Bo]

Maybe get some children and you'll have an excuse and people will look on you more fondly.

[Francis]

I know it's not a bad idea.

[Bo]

As opposed to just knowing that you were just gooning for an extra 15 minutes, that you were abusing yourself.

[Francis]

15 minutes of goon time. That's what the real truth is.

[Bo]

Yeah, you cracked.

[Francis]

You cracked it.

[Peters]

Can I ask you about your gooning?

[Francis]

I don't. Yeah, sure.

[Peters]

Do you take your shorts and just pull them and put them all the way down around your ankles, and then Goon.

[Francis]

I don't even know what that. I don't even really, to be honest. I don't know what gooning is. We've been over this many times, and I still don't understand it.

[Bo]

He goes. He fishes up his shorts so he'll, like, pull up the leg and push.

[Peters]

It to the side.

[Francis]

Cool.

[Peters]

I see.

[Bo]

He dangles at the bottom, right?

[Peters]

I see.

[Francis]

Francis. Without looking at this, what kind of rod. What kind of club club do you think is that?

[Peters]

I would guess that that's a pitching wedge.

[Francis]

It is a pitching wedge. That's pretty spot on.

[Peters]

Pretty good golf.

[Francis]

That's pretty good. That's pretty good golf iq. Just seeing the angle.

[Bo]

Well, you're ready. You're ready for the Creator's Invitational.

[Francis]

I would say, non for sure.

[Bo]

You fucking Horvath. Santino. Oh, my God. To be a fly in that golf cart.

[Francis]

Nadeshot. When is that?

[Peters]

August 12th to the 16th.

[Francis]

Will you say hello to Nadeshot for me?

[Peters]

I don't know who that is.

[Francis]

Well, you're gonna. You're gonna see him there.

[Peters]

But does he know who you are?

[Francis]

God, no.

[Peters]

Then why would I tell him you said hello to?

[Francis]

Say, my buddy's a big fan. Say, the guy I do a podcast with, I work with him every single day.

[Peters]

Don't you think that. That everything I. You just said for me to tell him? If I said that to him, he'd be like, get the fuck away from me.

[Francis]

No, I don't think so.

[Peters]

Hey, my. My buddy that I do a podcast with is a big fan, and he wanted me to tell you, well, you.

[Francis]

Guys are playing in a golf tournament together. It's not like you're approaching him on the street.

[Bo]

Just.

[Peters]

Just so you know, nature.

[Francis]

I. I don't know, go up to him and say, hey, my. My buddy's a huge fan of yours. I'm watching his videos since I.

[Peters]

That's not the way I do things.

[Bo]

Also, saying my buddy's a good fan kind of means I don't know you. He's like, hey, I don't know who you are, but I know someone who.

[Francis]

Knows you but that is exactly the. That's exactly the case.

[Bo]

Yeah. I think you just keep that to yourself or you get familiar and know him yourself.

[Peters]

That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to say, hi, my name's Francis. What's your name? Mr. Shot. Mr. Shot, nice to meet you.

[Francis]

If anything you would refer.

[Peters]

I'm looking forward to getting to know you with a blank canvas standpoint here to really go.

[Bo]

You purposefully avoided all of his online footprint for years so you wouldn't have the wrong impression of him once you finally met it.

[Peters]

Exactly. I am going at this from a tabula rasa point of view.

[Francis]

You know Hundred Thieves, right, Ron?

[Bo]

I don't even know Francis.

[Francis]

Do you know 100 Thieves? You know Hundred Thieves?

[Bo]

Yes, of course.

[Francis]

I'm going to keep the golf club out.

[Bo]

It's actually nice. It's like a laser pointer, you know?

[Peters]

You know Hundred Thieves, don't you point that?

[Francis]

Do you know Hundred Thieves?

[Peters]

No, I don't know Hundred Thieves.

[Francis]

100 Thieves is like. It's like a gaming slash media company. The. The couple people from Barstool actually left to go work there. That's Nadeshot started that.

[Peters]

Nadeshot.

[Francis]

Yeah. So you'll meet him.

[Bo]

100 thieves.

[Francis]

I don't know if he started. Yeah, no, I think he started it.

[Peters]

Should I go up to him and say, hey, I like 100 thieves? Sure.

[Francis]

Yeah. I'm sure he'd be thrilled.

[Peters]

Okay.

[Bo]

Telling me like 101 Dalmatians too.

[Peters]

I prefer the 40 thieves who accompanied Ali Baba.

[Bo]

Yes.

[Francis]

I don't know what that is.

[Bo]

Alibaba and the 40 thieves.

[Peters]

Nope, originals. Arabic.

[Francis]

And I'm sick of pretending I do know what it is.

[Peters]

Story that stood as the sort of precursor to Aladdin.

[Francis]

So it's the prequel to Aladdin Arabian Night.

[Peters]

I think it's.

[Francis]

I think it like it came out before Aladdin.

[Peters]

It came out like hundreds and hundreds of years ago.

[Francis]

And it's like the original song before Aladdin.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Cuz Aladdin only came out like a 100 years ago.

[Bo]

It probably did.

[Peters]

I bet you it came out in like 1991.

[Bo]

There was like a rap song where they start off being like Alibaba in the 40. Is it. Oh, is it rhyming and stealing by the BC Boys? It is. And they just say Alibaba and the 40 thieves over and over again. That story has everything, you know. Another story has everything. The story of Christ.

[Francis]

I know.

[Bo]

Isn't it crazy that there's betrayal, that there's everything in that story, what happened?

[Peters]

You just is, like, one wrong step away from exploding right now.

[Francis]

Something. It's the vaccines.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It doesn't make sense. I mean, everyone's Achilles.

[Bo]

Everyone's Achilles.

[Francis]

There's zero reason that our podcasting co host should have his Achilles being torn.

[Bo]

And he was stationary.

[Francis]

And he just got a pang of pain. Pain in it.

[Peters]

No, I, I, I woke up and it was like, for whatever reason, I. And all I did. I mean, I played a bunch of racket sports this weekend.

[Francis]

You know, a lot of swinging.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

What are we talking? Squash?

[Peters]

Tennis. I played tennis. I played Padel. And for the word it's worth, I know that it's actually technically pronounced paddle. I say Padel to Cash.

[Bo]

Padel, FBI. Cash. Epstein didn't. Do you see that?

[Francis]

Trump's trying to. He's saying that he's gonna. He's forcing the Commanders to go back to the Redskins. I say, don't. He's gonna.

[Peters]

Paul.

[Francis]

He's gonna freeze their new stadium building.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Peters]

It's insane.

[Bo]

And he's like, and the Guardians have to become the Indians again, too.

[Francis]

What a wild thing.

[Bo]

And he was like, the water fountains have to be resegregated.

[Francis]

I honestly, like, I don't hate the Commanders.

[Peters]

I thought we had. I thought everyone had kind of made their peace with the Commanders. I don't know.

[Francis]

I saw a dude. I did a show in Seattle.

[Peters]

I didn't know. Let me put it this way. I didn't know the anti woke people were still griping about.

[Francis]

I don't think they really are. I think there are Commanders slash Redskins fans that are still like, we want the Redskins back.

[Peters]

Oh, I see.

[Francis]

I. I saw a dude in. Sorry. I saw a dude in Seattle who was wearing a. He had a Commander's shirt, and he sewed on a Redskins patch to it. Like, he was like, no, I'm not going by the Commanders.

[Bo]

But he got a new shirt.

[Francis]

Like, he got a shirt and, like, customized it.

[Bo]

Why would you not just have keep your old shirt or, like, buy a vintage shirt?

[Francis]

He could have done that. I don't know. But he told me that he sewed.

[Bo]

It on right before they changed. I was doing man on the street by the Redskin slash Commander Stadium, and I happen across a Native American guy and his son, and they were like, we find it to be a, like, an honorable nickname. They were like, we like that. We like that it's the Redskins. We think that it does a good homage to the Native American people.

[Peters]

Wow.

[Bo]

He's like, we're very proud of Marcus Mariota and Robert Griffin III. Terry McLaurin is my favorite player.

[Francis]

Is Terry McLaurin even on the. On the Commanders anymore?

[Bo]

Yeah, he is. But he wants a new contract.

[Francis]

Yeah. I thought his contract didn't get.

[Bo]

You want to get.

[Francis]

Trump's freezing his contract. Yeah, Trump. Trump froze Terry McLaurin's contract until they switched to the Redskins.

[Bo]

That's so crazy to want to do. I'm trying to think of a joke.

[Peters]

To tell, but I did do it.

[Bo]

Do it in Native American voice and it won't be as offensive.

[Peters]

It was too fucked. I'm just self editing so we don't have to do it later.

[Francis]

Smart.

[Bo]

But then everybody's got to be wondering, what was that joke that Francis had?

[Peters]

All right, I'll say it. I was going to say Trump is freezing Terry's contract until he goes back to his slave name.

[Francis]

Why? Because Terry.

[Bo]

Terry McLaurin's like an Irish name. That's funny. That'd be funny. If the Cleveland Indians, like, if he made them change. But they just. They are like the Indian people.

[Francis]

They went back to Redskin. They went to Redskins, too. Cleveland Redskins.

[Bo]

Everyone has to be Redskins. The Las Vegas hockey team has to be the Redskins, too. No, I meant that it was like the, like, people from India. Like, it's still the Indians.

[Peters]

The Kansas City smallpox blankets.

[Bo]

That is a wild thing to demand. I like. And then he. Isn't it like he's doing an executive order about it. He's going to have.

[Francis]

I don't know. I just saw it on Truth this morning. Yeah, Social. Yeah, yeah. No, I saw it on Twitter. I saw it on a screen. I saw a screenshot of Truth on Twitter.

[Bo]

Yeah, he was getting bodied on Truth. It was like the first time Truth turned on him over the Epstein stuff. Yeah.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

The Epstein is insane. It's crazy.

[Peters]

Well, I know it's crazy because now the left is really reporting on it.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Peters]

They're really leaning into, like, did. Was Trump on the list?

[Francis]

Yeah, I mean, I don't. I don't know if it's Trump directly that's on. It's clearly someone's on the list that, like, they're like, this just can't come out right. Like, that's what it seems like. Or multiple people are on the list that they're like, this is. It's not even an option to put this out.

[Peters]

But who would Trump be protecting to that degree that he knows he's going to create this level of suspicion? Someone powerful goes all the way to the top.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

Who would he even. I mean, like, the powerful dude. Draw on it. Fucking Jared.

[Peters]

Jared Trump.

[Francis]

Jared Trump.

[Bo]

Jared Carabas.

[Peters]

Baron. Baron. Trump.

[Francis]

Baron's on it. That would. Baron. Never mind. I was going to be. I was going to say Baron's one of the victims. That would have been a bad. Well, I guess it still is a bad joke, but it's better when you admit it's a bad joke.

[Bo]

But before you say it, just owning it.

[Francis]

You know what I watched last night for the first time is the Paterno movie. That was Cheeks.

[Bo]

Wait, that movie sucks. The hbo. The HBO show.

[Peters]

The alucino.

[Francis]

The hbo. Yeah, the HBO show.

[Peters]

Put that pitching wedge down.

[Bo]

My God, a baton. He's like. He's on the flag squad.

[Francis]

Yeah, I watched the movie. The movie sucked.

[Bo]

There's like one line in the movie where, like, there's, like, people outside of his house and they, like, go inside and they're like, how about a rub?

[Francis]

Oh, yeah, Better than a rub.

[Bo]

How about a rub? His wife's like, he's like, stressing out about covering a pedophilia and his wife's like, how about a rub?

[Francis]

Yeah. That whole movie was fucking weird. The. The Penn State scenes, were those, like, super cringeworthy for you? Because for me, I was like. It was like out of body. When they're like. When they're chanting Joe Paterno and then they're chanting like, we are Penn State. We are Penn State. And it's. I was cringing. I was like, this is so brutal.

[Peters]

Because they're defending the fact that he covered it up well. Yeah.

[Francis]

I mean, it's just any time that there's like.

[Peters]

Or that he didn't do enough, right?

[Bo]

No, no. They're like, he didn't know. They're like, outside, like, Joe Paterno.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. And then his son comes out and they start chanting Scott Paterno.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

And that should really all happened that it's so cult like. It was so. It's so fudgeing shitty and embarrassing for, like, years afterwards. I would like argue with other Penn State alumni being like, he obviously knew what was going on. No, he actually did it. And here's why.

[Francis]

He pretty much just keep on hinting back in the movie to that, like, it was going on for decades.

[Peters]

Who do you think is more dug in on their position? Penn State alums about that situation or Michael Jackson fans about that situation?

[Bo]

I think Penn State alums, because, like, Michael Jackson fans, like, they don't have any, like, implicit connection to Michael Jackson. They're just fans. Like, if you graduated from Penn State, you can't undo that. You know, like, you're part of the Penn State community whether you're a football fan or not. Like a Michael Jackson fan. Is this, like, transitive, like.

[Peters]

Sure, but the. I. I've had arguments with Michael Jackson fans just for fun, really, to watch them get unbelievably upset when you insist.

[Bo]

That they look at the man in the mirror.

[Peters]

I mean, that he touched those kids.

[Francis]

It's not a bad question. You're pretty much asking, though, like, what's bigger, like, pop stars or college football? And it's a good question.

[Peters]

Well, Michael Jackson is the biggest star ever.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Period.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

But Penn State might be the biggest program.

[Francis]

Penn State or Michael Jackson people. That's a good question.

[Peters]

People worship Michael Jackson to this day with a religious ferocity that rivals that of. Of what people felt about Penn State football.

[Francis]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, do you think the people that are dot, like, doing the biggest Michael Jackson fan is a bigger Michael Jackson fan than, like, the biggest.

[Bo]

No.

[Francis]

Texas A and M fan.

[Bo]

The biggest Penn State fan would kill, like, cover up and move mountains. Cash.

[Francis]

But I think, Mike, I think you're under. I think you're underestimating the Michael Jackson fans.

[Peters]

I agree. Yeah, I kind of agree.

[Francis]

I think it's pretty similar, to be honest.

[Peters]

They are certain of the. Of the illegitimacy of the. Of the claims of the victims of Michael Jackson. Yeah, they're certain of it. Which is one of those things where I'm like, I would treat that with agnosticism at best. Best.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Like, if I were the biggest Michael Jackson fan in the world, I'd be like, look, I don't know how I feel. I don't know that it's right. I don't think it's right. But because saying it never happened is so hard.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Peters]

Just to deny the claims of children that were molested by Michael Jackson. I'm going to air on the side of, like, kind of sitting this way.

[Francis]

Yeah. Like, Billie Jean's not bad, but I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to throw myself on the tracks for this.

[Peters]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bo]

Or just like, keep listening to Billie Jean and also acknowledge that he. He probably, probably did this, though.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

Yeah, I think he did.

[Peters]

Yeah. I'm not going to show up and throw eggs at Wade Robson's house.

[Francis]

Macaulay Culkin.

[Peters]

But Macaulay Culkin is the one who fucked everyone else. Meaning like, did he.

[Bo]

No, not literally.

[Peters]

His. His insistence that nothing ever happened to him made him the star witness to.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Sort of like make everyone else's claims seem worthless, you know, that he was.

[Bo]

Like, they're all lying. And then he like turned to all the other kids and stuck his tongue out at them.

[Francis]

Yeah, fuck you.

[Bo]

You'll never take my spot.

[Francis]

I'm going to be famous forever. He's nine years old.

[Bo]

No, he didn't do anything.

[Francis]

It's. It's up.

[Bo]

It's super up. But those movies are so damn good.

[Francis]

Oh, great. I had a. I had a pretty funny. Well, not funny. It was actually more like brutal, but it was like funny at the same time. Weekend. Well, actually, I had a great weekend. I. Really good spots at the Stand. Great shows, fun shows. And then I did. Well, I played a ton of Call of Duty. Just trying to get up to diamond so bad. I'm like 30 SR away and I, I. Friday night I had like my. We. I played with Mook and my buddy Peters all day and then I went and did my spots and we played at night. And when we played at night, I hit the deli on the way home, picked up some Jolly Rancher gummies. Oh, delicious. Had like half the bag, probably.

[Peters]

It was.

[Francis]

I was kind of acting up, but I was also kind of considering, like, you know, I'm going away, going to Wyoming. Not going to be playing video games, not going to be eating candy.

[Bo]

You need to kind of build a baseline of nourishment. It's like a bear.

[Francis]

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Stacking up for the, for the, for the long weekend. Three nights. I woke up at 7am on Saturday and projectile vomited. Straight Jolly Ranchers. I just ate too much candy and got sick. Like child.

[Bo]

Like a Halloween child.

[Francis]

Yeah. Literally, that was it. Like I stayed up too late and played too many video games and ate too much candy and got sick Friday. Yeah.

[Bo]

Oh, my God.

[Francis]

This is so.

[Peters]

This is eerie.

[Bo]

It's almost rock bottom.

[Peters]

Can I tell you why this is eerie?

[Francis]

Why?

[Peters]

Because I drove from where I live in the woods. You know how I live in the woods? Yeah. Upstate in the Hudson Valley. Among the elk and the moose and.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

The elves. Yeah. Which by the hunting season hasn't started yet, so don't even get any ideas.

[Francis]

No, it doesn't start till the fall.

[Peters]

That's right. I mean, you better wear some orange.

[Francis]

Yeah, sure. I'm not a hunter.

[Peters]

Well, there's a lot of people out there with some bad vision these days and saying, you come you come wandering without your orange on. It's not my fault. You come onto my land. Okay. Anyway, the point is 100.

[Bo]

You hunt fish do. You are a bit of a hunter.

[Francis]

I release.

[Peters]

I had a gig in Hampton Bays.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Which was really cool, actually. I didn't know what to expect. I drove all the way from Hudson Valley down and out into Long Island.

[Francis]

Long Ass Drive.

[Peters]

It was like three and a half because I left it at like 10:30am If I had left at 11:30am it would have been five and a half.

[Francis]

I was gonna say. I would assume six.

[Peters]

So I got there and did the gig. The gig was awesome. Hampton Bays is like. They call it the working class Hampton.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Peters]

I mean, it's like the. The last blue collar enclave. But very quickly it's gentrifying because what.

[Bo]

Are the blue collar jobs there?

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Painting.

[Peters]

It's. It's all the people that live there work in Southampton and West Hampton and East Hampton as landscapers, painters, and, you know, and then at the night, that's why the traffic all flows west is because they're coming back to their. Where they live. In the morning, it heads east. But I was making jokes about that because it like the idea of it being the working class Hamptons. I said, I opened the show and I said. I said, hampton Bays is to the Hamptons what El Salvador is to the Hamptons. I said, this is where the Shinnecock tribe comes to buy their cigarettes.

[Bo]

The trading post for the good.

[Francis]

That's pretty funny.

[Peters]

And they were all dying because everybody at the show. Tickets to the show. You're gonna love this. Were 75. Christ, I had no idea until the day.

[Francis]

Yeah. Billy Joel prices.

[Peters]

I know, dude. You should do this gig, though, by.

[Francis]

The way, because I don't charge 75 a ticket. Sorry, brother.

[Peters]

No, that's not enough for you. Not enough.

[Bo]

And do it to the fans.

[Peters]

But all the people that came were people who lived in Southampton and East Hampton. So they were laughing at the expense of the blue collar people I was making fun of who weren't there because they couldn't afford the tickets. Ticket. Yeah. But then on the way home, I was driving back with Brandon and we went. Yeah, I went to Nice. I went. We went to a 711 or whatever.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Actually, we went to this grocery store that was like Latin.

[Bo]

Like Latin American. Or like Latin American.

[Francis]

Yeah. Or like the dying language.

[Peters]

You fill out your receipt by carving it in stone. Yeah. It was held up on Corinthian pillars.

[Bo]

Just the water straight from the aqueduct.

[Peters]

No it was some don't look the.

[Francis]

Don't look the cashier in the eyes. He'll free he'll turn you to stone.

[Peters]

It was some Latin grocery store I'd never heard of. I mean, I don't know. All the goods were Spanish goods.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. I've been to stores like that.

[Peters]

Nothing was organized. Yeah, it looked like the supply truck just drove into the middle of the store, like, opened its wares, and then they took stuff and just threw it out.

[Francis]

I've been to a couple. Couple grocery stores like that, but it.

[Peters]

Was open at 11:15pm A grocery store.

[Francis]

That's when the Latin America. That's when the Latins are eating the.

[Bo]

Regular Cheetos or the flaming hot Cheetos.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Peters]

And the flaming hots will send you back across the Rio Grande. But the we. Anyway, if I got a bunch of candy. Right, Hairball?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Francis]

What'd you go with?

[Peters]

Okay, so I went with chewy sweet tarts.

[Francis]

Those are the best. Wait, did you get the ropes?

[Peters]

No.

[Francis]

Oh, okay.

[Peters]

Chewy sweet. I think it was chewy sweet tarts.

[Francis]

Well, the ropes are the best sweet tart.

[Peters]

Why, like nerd ropes?

[Francis]

These are different.

[Peters]

Okay.

[Francis]

This is just straight rope.

[Peters]

No crunch. No crunch.

[Francis]

Just gump. Just goo.

[Bo]

Goo.

[Peters]

Yeah. You could repel using these absolutely impossible ass ropes.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Then I went with something new. I was out on a limb and I did mini Skittles. They come in a tube that you can use as an enema.

[Francis]

Oh, like the M M tubes?

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

I can't believe they're still making those. Yeah, I know those M M tubes. I would get those at, like, Christmas.

[Francis]

And, like, it's crazy. Those M M tubes used to last me, like, a month. They were replenishing just like, pop one like a Tic Tac every now and then.

[Peters]

That's pretty good restraint. And then I got these Nutella cookie crackers that were fucking crazy. No, they were like biscuits that had Nutella in the middle. And the texture is so unbelievable that I. I had to throw them out the window. I didn't litter. I just dumped the rest of the bag.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Peters]

For the moose.

[Bo]

Are you serious?

[Peters]

Yeah. They don't have an issue with chocolate the way dogs do, so I wasn't worried about it.

[Bo]

Yeah, they might think it's, like, deer pellets, though, or something like that and think that the land has been claimed.

[Francis]

True. You could have just an entire ecosystem.

[Bo]

Have you ever seen the videos of the guys kicking over the. Like, when people stack rocks and they're.

[Francis]

Like you leave like leave nothing untouched. I don't know what that's all about, though, because that's like an opinion that people are like, die hard about, like.

[Bo]

This up the ecosystem, this ruins. Like beavers.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

And like that. They're like some rocks.

[Francis]

There's people, people that like, they're like their. Their mission on Earth is to find every stack of rocks and destroy.

[Bo]

But they also, they're like social media influencers. So they'll like film themselves getting super action, like kicking over stacks of rocks.

[Francis]

It's like a weird. But it's like. It'll literally be like four rock, like, like this high.

[Bo]

And they'll be like, why?

[Francis]

Yeah, why have you done this?

[Peters]

I think in the Andes mountains. No, excuse me. It's the Himalaya. There's a tradition that if you pass to the left versus to the right of a stack of rocks, it's really bad luck. Right. You'll die.

[Bo]

On Everest, I think.

[Peters]

Isn't that. Isn't that what they say?

[Francis]

They got a lot of. They got a lot of rules for like the Himalayas. No. On the mountains.

[Bo]

Is that a rule?

[Francis]

Oh, yeah. Really bad juju.

[Bo]

They definitely. At the base camp of Everest. Didn't Donnie say that it was a bacchanal?

[Francis]

Yeah, but that's what the. In into thin air. Krakauer says that they're not. They're not supposed to fuck on the mountain. It's against the. It's against the rules of the gods.

[Bo]

And it's probably just because these Tibetan monks get no pussy. They're fucking jealous.

[Francis]

But apparently they all fucked and then a bunch of people died.

[Bo]

And they say that's why.

[Francis]

I think it's just one of the suspicions. They have a. We've talked about this before on the podcast and I don't remember it again, but there's a funny. They have a funny name for it.

[Bo]

Mountain.

[Francis]

Yeah, they called it like Sucky Sucky or something like that. Something funny.

[Bo]

Have you ever seen the videos of the little guys who are just like. No oxygen mask, carrying a house on their back? Yeah, the Sherpas who are just like barefoot, just no shirt on.

[Francis]

Apparently those guys are like straight up, like different. Like, they're just like, they. Have you ever seen the 14 piece documentary? Yeah, they did like that test on that dude and it was like, he's.

[Peters]

Yeah, but he was an anomaly among his own people.

[Bo]

And they spawn from eggs too, because no one can on the mountain. I know they're asexual.

[Francis]

They're hatched at the Top of Everest.

[Peters]

They're born from a. You start a snowball and you roll it down. Smashes into a hut at the bottom. Out comes a Sherpa.

[Francis]

The child born in snow. Let me tell you the tale of the child born in snow.

[Peters]

He came out of womb with carrying all of the afterbirth on his shoulders.

[Francis]

The first thing out of the womb was his crampons piercing his mother's vagina.

[Bo]

Sad and true.

[Francis]

Sad and true. Sad and true.

[Bo]

So true.

[Francis]

Just touching on a lot of sad but true topics today.

[Bo]

I heard a friend of mine has a. A young like 9 year old daughter and they said all like the 9 to 10 year old like little girls all are like they all want an Asian guy. They all want like they want to marry an Asian guy. Because the movie Crazy Rich Asians has them thinking that all Asians are crazy and rich.

[Peters]

What?

[Bo]

Little kids?

[Francis]

Is that a kid's movie?

[Bo]

No.

[Francis]

I feel like that just can't be a thing then.

[Bo]

I mean our friend was like her daughter and all of her friends like want an Asian guy so bad because the movie Crazy Rich Asians just has them thinking that they're fucking loaded.

[Francis]

Might be a New York thing, huh? Might be a New York thing. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I would be surprised. I mean, I don't know. Nothing wrong with Asian men.

[Bo]

I mean it seems like you're saying something wrong.

[Francis]

I'm not trying to pull any love away from my Asian brothers.

[Bo]

It seems like you're trying to find a reason why Asian brothers shouldn't be lusted.

[Francis]

I'm just saying I don't think all nine year old girls are looking for Asian. Asian men.

[Peters]

No.

[Bo]

Well, who's more plugged into the nine year old girl community? Dude, I have a. A source right at the mouth of the river and you're. I mean, I mean, when was the last time you even Talked to a 9 year old?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Bo]

You're just out of touch, dude. You're too old. How does it feel being too old?

[Peters]

Not now.

[Francis]

I am out of touch.

[Bo]

Eventually the game passes all of us, but. Hi, bro.

[Peters]

Sass won't talk to nine year olds?

[Francis]

No. What kind of shoes?

[Peters]

Too judgmental of his apartment Now?

[Francis]

My apartment's actually clean as hell right now.

[Bo]

Yeah, right. Show us a picture.

[Francis]

Fucking vacuumed.

[Bo]

You vacuumed the hardwood?

[Francis]

Oh yeah. And the carpet.

[Bo]

God damn.

[Francis]

Have you guys ever even. Have you guys ever even been over since I got the carpet?

[Peters]

No, you won't let us into your.

[Francis]

Home or no you have because you.

[Peters]

Broke in when I came and woke you up that one time, you did to me what you did to the 5 year old.

[Francis]

You weren't allowed in. Yeah.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

You peered through the door like the door.

[Peters]

Which is fine because you know, at the time I knew where my mother was. So it's fine for you to keep me in the hall.

[Francis]

But again, kid knew where her mother was.

[Peters]

She didn't.

[Francis]

Yes, she did.

[Peters]

She said she didn't. And children of that age are not capable of lying. They are not able to. They have not learned the.

[Francis]

I literally got the whole rundown art.

[Peters]

Of artifice at that age lied out of her ass.

[Bo]

She probably was just at the door being like, where the Asian men at?

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, they're not Asian.

[Peters]

Are you either crazy rich or Asian?

[Francis]

You're not crazy.

[Bo]

It is great marketing for the, for the Asian community. Like a movie called Crazy Rich White Boys would have us looking great to.

[Francis]

Come up with that. Yeah, we'd be so I'm working on the script for that right now.

[Bo]

Crazy Rich White Boys.

[Francis]

Yeah, crazy.

[Bo]

I would see it. We need all the good PR we can get.

[Francis]

Crazy white boys in New York. I, I, we never really talked about that whole thing with the kid. I emailed my super or my, my building.

[Bo]

We talked about it on chat. Bcc I think.

[Francis]

I don't know if I ever gave the full rundown, but we gave the, we email. I emailed the right after we filmed that episode. I emailed my building and I was like, just a heads up, this is what happened. This was yesterday. Blah blah, blah, whole thing. I rep, I made it very clear. Did I tell you guys about this? That I was like, I don't mind. I was like, this isn't, I was like, just a heads up, this isn't a complaint. I'm just letting you know in case like someone is looking for this kid, God forbid. And you guys know me.

[Peters]

The last thing that would bother me is a five year old showing up.

[Bo]

It was actually a delight.

[Peters]

In fact if you have others sending come around. I just bought a bunch of toys.

[Bo]

I dude the guy some signs.

[Francis]

The guy replied and was like, he was like, well this does bother me. Like he was not, not on the same page as me at all.

[Bo]

He's like, thank you for snitching.

[Peters]

This was, this was the person to whom you complained.

[Francis]

I said hi, Blah blah, blah blah. Yesterday morning around 10:30, I was sitting at my desk and a young girl, probably three to five walked into my apartment. Blah blah. Explain the whole situation.

[Bo]

I just want to hear how you explained it to him.

[Francis]

She said she was trying to find her mom. I told her I would go. I would go find her mom and to wait outside my door while I grabbed my shoes. But when I returned, she was gone and taken the elevator and disappeared. I went and knocked on the super's door. No answer. Blah, blah, blah. I don't have any problems regarding the situation. The kid made it back. The kid didn't bother me in any way. Again, I'm assuming the kid made it back to her apartment. Fine. But I wanted to let you guys know in case, God forbid, this happened to be a bigger issue. Thanks. Thanks for your email. I'm not happy about this. That this should not happen again.

[Bo]

A whistle.

[Peters]

Thanks for your email. I'm not happy about this.

[Francis]

He said, like, he said whose kid it was, but I didn't feel like saying that.

[Peters]

That's smart. He knew he had an explanation for what had happened, though.

[Francis]

Pretty much, yeah. He was like, it was definite because remember I said there's no kids in my building.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So I guess there's one person who occasionally has a child in their. In their apartment.

[Bo]

A deadbeat mom.

[Francis]

Well, I don't know about that, but.

[Bo]

We'Re talking about a deadbeat mom here.

[Francis]

I will say. I got home a couple days later and the person was outside on the phone and they were talking. And she's like talking like one of her friends or something. She was like. She was like. I don't know why. What she was even doing on the second floor. She's never. I've never told her never to go up there.

[Bo]

Serious.

[Francis]

I swear to God. I just kept my head down and kept walking.

[Peters]

What?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

So you're snitching. Got. Who do you snitch to?

[Francis]

Super snitched to the building.

[Bo]

The building.

[Francis]

Like the management company.

[Bo]

The management company. And then they kicked it to the super, and the super kicked to the lady, and the lady was calling someone.

[Francis]

Something like that.

[Bo]

Not knowing that tree in the bog.

[Peters]

And the bog down. Yeah, pretty good.

[Francis]

But ever since then, I've just been paranoid as hell. Always locking my doors.

[Peters]

Smart.

[Francis]

Especially when I'm like showering and shit. I'm like. I feel like I'm going to shower and I'm going to look out and there's going to be a kid standing outside.

[Peters]

You should put a sign on your door that says, this apartment is not safe for children.

[Bo]

Beware of dog.

[Francis]

This apartment isn't safe for most people.

[Peters]

18 plus.

[Bo]

Only my owner has a gun.

[Peters]

18 or older.

[Francis]

If I don't answer the door, I'm inside, polishing my ammo.

[Bo]

Reassembling my rifle.

[Peters]

You ever see those?

[Francis]

Like the doormats?

[Peters]

Like.

[Francis]

Like that?

[Bo]

Yeah. They're so sick people.

[Francis]

You can get them for anything. You can really get them for any hobby, Francis. You should get one gone, folks. It's the foreplay.

[Bo]

Guys.

[Francis]

Let's talk Truly Unruly. When you spend every day following the countless laws of golf like us, it's refreshing to get a little unruly. Whether that means using the old hand wedge to escape the bunker, or just cracking open a hard seltzer that breaks all the rules, few things feel better. Truly Unruly is the first high alk seltzer that actually tastes good. It's hard hitting, but still light and refreshing, making it perfect for everything from the front nine to the clubhouse. Find it near you at trulyhardceltzer.com.

[Peters]

That'S.

[Francis]

Trulyhardselter.Com Locations Hard Seltzer Beverage Company Boston, Massachusetts. Please drink responsibly. Hey everybody, it's Vivs. And this is my PSA to remind you that golf season is officially here. Whether you end up in the fairway or in the woods, fire up your round this spring with the official shot of golf. Fireball Cinnamon with Whiskey. Slip a couple minis in your bag for you and the boys so that no matter how you hit them, you're still having a killer day out on the course. Ignite the fairways with Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey. Man, I'll tell you what, when you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game. Making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in. Man, that thing is packed. Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars. And when you bite into it, boom. It sorts you out. Get your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

[Peters]

Snickers satisfies.

[Francis]

Man, that's a winning play.

[Bo]

This college football season, we are feeling.

[Francis]

The cheesiest with Cheez It. The ultimate irresistible football watching snack. Cheez it brings 100% real cheese and deliciousness to every game. Fuel your game day cravings with cheesy, crunchy, salty deliciousness. And fuel your Cheez it fandom. @cheez it.com use code stool25 for 20% off your order. Hey, guys. Finding the perfect gift for the food lover in your life is easy. Thanks To Gold Belly. Gold Belly ships America's most iconic foods straight from world famous restaurants right to your door.

[Peters]

So if you want to treat someone.

[Francis]

To Joe's Stone Crab from Miami, Franklin Barbecue from Texas, or desserts from famous foodies like Ina Garten or Martha Stewart, Gold Belly has you covered. Just go to goldbelly.com and for a limited time, get 20% off your first order with promo code gift. That's promo code gift.

[Peters]

No, nowadays, you know, upstate. So the meat. The butcher shop that I go to, it's called Quattros.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

And it is under the same roof and connected to the gun store.

[Francis]

Oh, so you get a piece.

[Peters]

It's great. So, like, I go in, I get my ribeye. You know, they make these smoked rotisserie chickens that actually turn into some great chicken salad. So I get that some nice, you know, artisanal olive oil. And then I put that in a bag and then I just bring it right into the gun. Gun store and look at pieces for a while.

[Francis]

You pick anything out, there's a handgun.

[Peters]

I mean, I'm thinking handgun.

[Francis]

Yeah, right. Hard as fuck to get a gun in New York.

[Peters]

Not upstate.

[Francis]

I think it's still pretty tough.

[Peters]

Not the New York Union.

[Francis]

It's not New York City. I know, but it's still gonna be hard. You have to.

[Bo]

There's a.

[Francis]

It's not an easy state.

[Peters]

Look, I live in God's country.

[Francis]

A handgun, handguns, I mean, I wouldn't.

[Peters]

Bring it into the city.

[Francis]

Why not?

[Peters]

I don't know. I don't really come here that often.

[Francis]

If you're gonna get a gun you met. The only reason to get a gun is to bring it into the city.

[Bo]

Exactly. Especially with Comrade Mom. Donnie.

[Francis]

What kind of. What kind of piece you looking at? Desi burner. Just gonna scratch the serial number off some chrome.

[Peters]

Looking at some chrome.

[Francis]

You're gonna get a chrome gun.

[Peters]

Yeah, I want a chrome.

[Francis]

That's crazy.

[Bo]

A long, like, like. No, snub nose, girl gun. Beretta. You need a. I want to be.

[Peters]

Able to light my cigarettes by directing the sun off my gun to the tip of the Sig.

[Francis]

Are you gonna get like a. Like a Glock or like. Like. Like a revolver?

[Peters]

A revolver.

[Francis]

You're going to get a revolver?

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

This sounds like an awful idea.

[Peters]

I want.

[Francis]

I'm out on the idea.

[Peters]

I want bullets to be the size of mini Eminem tubes.

[Bo]

Yeah, you need a varminter. For real.

[Francis]

What you need is a. Is a Smith and Wesson 550.

[Bo]

Oh.

[Francis]

Hand cannon.

[Peters]

That's big time.

[Francis]

Yeah, we call that a hand cannon.

[Peters]

That's the one that the guy used to blow up the watermelon. And the watermelon still flying through the air. The pieces.

[Francis]

Is that video not vaporized. It's like one of the craziest things that.

[Peters]

Because you think it's gonna vaporize, you.

[Francis]

Know it's gonna explode. You know it's gonna explode. You don't think it's gonna look like that. Have you seen this video?

[Bo]

I don't think so.

[Francis]

I think I've showed you this video.

[Peters]

It's one of my favorite. I watch it every once in a while. I'll show you my favorite.

[Francis]

It's one of the most outrageous videos.

[Peters]

You just realize if someone shot someone in the head with one of those guns, like they wouldn't be able to have a funeral for that person.

[Francis]

Oh no. Close. Cassidy.

[Peters]

There's no embalmer on earth who is a good enough at puzzles to put together, you know? Yeah.

[Bo]

You have to be good.

[Francis]

And the watermelons are massive. Watermelon. They're like. They're like this big. They're like those big ass pumpkins.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Look at this.

[Bo]

Anaconda in.44 Magnum.

[Peters]

What a beautiful revolver.

[Bo]

Those bullets are huge. My anaconda. Kind of funny. It hates watermelons. That's like $22 worth of watermelons. And he has destroyed.

[Francis]

I feel like that wasn't even the right one.

[Peters]

I don't think that was the right one. The one I've seen doesn't even.

[Francis]

It's this one. It's this one.

[Bo]

My. My revolver hates watermelon.

[Peters]

This one vaporizes watermelons.

[Bo]

Ready?

[Francis]

Oh, that one didn't go. That one. They're gone. They're disappeared.

[Peters]

I think that was it. I don't know. I remember them turning into dust. What the.

[Francis]

That's the 460 Magnum.

[Bo]

Why did he gun butt them afterwards? Why was he hitting them with the. Why is he pistol whipping the watermelons after? I don't know. God must really hate watermelons.

[Francis]

I found the actual one. I'm not going to show it because I didn't realize how many there were. But it's the 500 Magnum.

[Peters]

Is the one for Hell man. You gave us the.

[Bo]

Maybe just watch the five.

[Francis]

I gave you the mid one. I think.

[Peters]

Pull up the 500 really quick. All right. It.

[Bo]

How he's holding it. Two hands.

[Peters]

Oh no, he's just.

[Francis]

That's it.

[Peters]

That's the one.

[Francis]

That's definitely the video. Holy dude, there's literally just zero remnants of them whatsoever. They're gone. All right, that video is called 500 Magnum Verse Watermelons, and it's from Hitchhawk 45 or Hickok.

[Peters]

That's my favorite one.

[Francis]

That video is 14 years old. Guess how many views it has.

[Bo]

14 million 15.

[Francis]

Imagine being that dude just raking in money, just shooting watermelons for like two minutes a year.

[Bo]

It says passive income. How do you have this mansion? How do you have this lakefront mansion from the stock market.

[Peters]

I love the idea of that guy having like, a social media manager being like, did you, did you shoot vertical?

[Francis]

He kind of does.

[Peters]

All right, we're gonna need to clip this for Tick tock, but I think we should change this.

[Francis]

Like, he kind of does. And it's his son. His son's like, you know this. Oh, yeah. Watch his videos all the time.

[Bo]

All these dudes have their son. There's like multiple people.

[Francis]

He's got a whole range in his backyard. And he's. And he'll.

[Bo]

He, he.

[Francis]

Most of the range is made out of, like, cast iron pots.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And he'll be like, time to smoke some pot. He looks dead in the camera. Time to smoke some pot. And then he blows up the pans.

[Bo]

Do you think he's got writers for it?

[Francis]

Definitely.

[Bo]

Same writers as Adam Friedland show does.

[Francis]

Adam Friedland show writers.

[Bo]

Of course. One of our intern says they know the head writer for Adam Friedland show.

[Francis]

Really sick. Yeah, dude.

[Peters]

I, this weekend, so I have this awesome electrician upstate because I finally decided to switch my gas lamps to electric. Like, I finally, I finally decided, you know what? I should. What? I should probably modernize my home because there were you gas lamps. There were risks of epilepsy. Like, epileptic people around. Gas lamps can some that can somehow trigger seizures. And like, I haven't had a ton of kids at my house. I'm not like you, but I, I do sometimes there are kids there. So I didn't want that. Yeah, I wanted them to be safe. And so even though I prefer the gas lamps because it's rustic and all that, I did decide to finally.

[Bo]

Well, you can have like a gas lamp shell.

[Francis]

You have all gas.

[Peters]

I did, I finally wired the home for electric.

[Francis]

I think gas lamps is like, usually people have like one and they're like, yeah, look. Look what we got.

[Peters]

Well, it was in the bedrooms. I, I, it was in the bedrooms.

[Francis]

Your whole house was being, was being fueled by gas. The lamps, except for the car, of course. All electric.

[Peters]

Right.

[Bo]

The term gaslighting comes from some play about a guy who has to like sneak into his attic or something like that. And the gas lights in his house keep on dimming. I think every time he does that.

[Peters]

Oh, yeah.

[Bo]

And then his wife's like, I think these are dimming. And he's like, no, they're not. No, you're crazy. Why don't you get some rest? I think you're acting a little bit crazy.

[Francis]

I think you're just closing your eyes.

[Bo]

Yeah, you blink.

[Francis]

It's called blinking, honey.

[Bo]

Is it your first time blinking? You poor, sweet, dumb woman.

[Peters]

Are you sure you're not dimming the lights?

[Bo]

Probably dim the lights.

[Peters]

So I switched him over and this electrician and my guy Glenn, he's the fucking man.

[Francis]

You had to hire an electrician to switch your light bulbs?

[Peters]

Yeah, he had to wire the house for. For electric.

[Francis]

So your house had no electricity prior to this?

[Peters]

How many times do I need to fucking tell you?

[Francis]

Like, were you. Were you able to watch TV?

[Bo]

He had gas powered TV.

[Francis]

Gas TVs.

[Bo]

He was working.

[Francis]

The TV was not environment friendly.

[Peters]

Did not have gas TVs. I. My TV was hooked up to some pedals that I crank as I watch.

[Francis]

A couple dudes in the basement shoveling coal.

[Peters]

And I knew, I knew it was time for bed when I started slowing down and getting tired and like falling asleep. And the TV would kind of go, yeah. I'm like, all right.

[Francis]

I started missing frames.

[Peters]

I don't care enough about the Andy Griffith show Love island to keep pedaling to watch it. So I. Anyway, he told me he played golf, right?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

And I was like, oh, well, let's go play sometime. And he's like, oh, that'd be awesome. Like, cool.

[Francis]

Is this a guy you found online? Like for, like from via dms?

[Peters]

I don't have the Internet up there.

[Francis]

So he just kind of walks around and you've waved him down.

[Peters]

Word of mouth.

[Francis]

He's like a guy that sells peanuts at a baseball game.

[Peters]

Word of mouth.

[Francis]

Electricity.

[Peters]

He was referred to. He was referred to me by a very good friend of mine, a very special close friend who had also just.

[Bo]

Peters.

[Francis]

Peters.

[Peters]

No, Peters. Peters is not. What. Where is Peters these days?

[Francis]

Colorado.

[Peters]

Yeah, he's in. He's in Rado.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Francis]

He doesn't know any soon about Wyoming, though. 2025.

[Peters]

We're talking about shirts. Actually making some shirts.

[Francis]

I know. We gotta get the shirts.

[Bo]

It's too.

[Francis]

It probably is too late.

[Peters]

No, you can rush order. I already went in. I want to make The. The shirts I wanted that I suggested to the guys were, you know, those. You ever go to a coffee shop where they have those shirts that. That say, like, beans and drip and this and that? It's all starts with an ampersand and.

[Francis]

It'S like the Beatles shirts I have. There's a place right by my apartment that does shirts.

[Peters]

Is it based on the Beatles?

[Bo]

Yes.

[Peters]

Ringo and Paul.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Yeah. Okay, Ringo. So we were thinking, Ringo.

[Bo]

What accent is that?

[Francis]

Bob Dylan. Have you ever heard. Have you ever heard that story?

[Bo]

Sounded like a Guatemalan. No, it sounded like gringo.

[Francis]

Gringo.

[Bo]

What did Bob Dylan say?

[Francis]

No, it's a dumb story. Continue.

[Peters]

No, tell that.

[Francis]

I want to hear.

[Peters]

I'm curious.

[Francis]

Foolish story. And I've told it before on the podcast, and it's not even my story. It's a. Nor. It would be me telling a Norm MacDonald story that Bob Dylan told. So.

[Peters]

All right.

[Bo]

The box down in the Valley.

[Francis]

So me skip it.

[Peters]

The shirt we're thinking of making is Bo and Peters and Francis and Nate.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Peters]

And Harry.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

Well, you can only do four, so you'd have to probably cut off the end here.

[Peters]

We. Well, we didn't be on the back. No, if you. We know you don't like that stuff. We know you don't like those.

[Bo]

You want to do fun.

[Francis]

It actually is a great idea because tomorrow I get in before they do, and I'm getting the rental car and picking them up at the airport. So it would be hilarious if I showed up in one of those shirts.

[Bo]

Throw them on, boys.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

And had them draped over each one of their seats. I mean, in reality, we should be doing son of a boy dad T shirts that say Wyoming 2025.

[Francis]

We should. It's foolish that we're not.

[Bo]

And just like Bo and hey, like, could they sue?

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

I think that they would be pissed off if their name was on a shirt the same way Nadu was pissed off at that poker tournament.

[Francis]

Can somebody please give me the rundown on the Nadeu flight thing? I was so late to it.

[Peters]

I missed it so much.

[Francis]

Life of me, I could. I tried to rewatch the act, and I kept skipping around and I couldn't find the place to start.

[Bo]

Yeah, I just saw him at a poker tournament, and a guy's like, what, dude?

[Francis]

They're making money off of you, Rich.

[Bo]

And he's like, I know, I know. That's like, listen to Sound like my face on a T shirt.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Have you ever talked to somebody, like, about, like, about podcasting about Barstool that's like. Like when you're like, they're like, they're like you're getting all the money from ads, right? And you're like, well, no, it's. We get paid by salary. And they're like, dude, what, stealing from you? No, we have the built in fan base and we're also getting paid a salary.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Like, the ad revenue thing is people think that we should be getting paid. Like, people think that we get paid a salary and then get the ad revenue. It's like, well, when. Where would the barstool money come in?

[Bo]

The guy today was literally like, they're.

[Peters]

Making millions off of you.

[Francis]

He said, millions, dude.

[Bo]

They're making millions off of him. He was telling other guys at the poker table that they were making millions.

[Peters]

More than once I've had a New York City or stand up comedian hit me up and be like, hey, man, I'm thinking of like doing a, like coming to work for barstool. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, just wanted to ask about your experience. Like, they'll be cool with me, like, you know, touring for three months in Australia. Right. Like, because I do that twice a year. And like, I don't know, what do you think I should ask for? Like 200, 300 grand to start? And I'm like, buddy, yeah. Bring all that to the table. That sounds good.

[Bo]

Yeah, it's. It's a funny world.

[Francis]

But someone did say to get the. I should get the those MWNBA shirts. Play us what we're owed. Someone tagged us in and said that we should have worn them today. That would have been hilarious.

[Peters]

That's funny.

[Francis]

We need that guy as a writer for the show.

[Bo]

Yeah. He's so good. That was probably Adam Friedman, top writer.

[Francis]

That's good.

[Peters]

That is really good.

[Bo]

So timeless. God damn it. Those. Those WNBA are being catty as hell. I don't know if you saw what Kelsey Plum was saying about her sister, Caitlin Clark.

[Francis]

I don't know. That video keeps resurfacing of them at the All Star Game. Kelsey Kelsey playing defense on Caitlin Clark. I still don't think that video is that insane. That's kind of grasping for anything there.

[Peters]

Where she kind of almost assaults her.

[Francis]

No, she's like playing defense.

[Bo]

She picked up.

[Francis]

They're like. They're like, no one plays defense in the All Star Game.

[Peters]

Oh, I didn't see that. I'm sorry.

[Francis]

I don't think it's that, but it is. The Caitlin Clark stuff is kind of bizarre. They all hate her.

[Bo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Because kind of like, if, like, Sidney Crosby came into the NHL and they were all like, you get out. Like, it genuinely makes zero sense.

[Bo]

It makes perfect sense.

[Francis]

I guess it's because the way that.

[Bo]

The w. And it's the way that.

[Francis]

They see is that what. They're better than her and that, like, the league should have already been succeeding like this before she came into it, I would assume. Right.

[Bo]

It's like the most transparent jealousy of attention that's ever existed. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Bo]

I don't think you can make a case that they're bad, but it's kind.

[Francis]

Of like the McGregor, like, bring out the red panties thing. Because it's like, if you think like. Like, it's like, if you find out you're playing against Caitlin Clark and then you go beat the shit out of Caitlin Clark, you know, you're going to be on the front of ESPN for the next week.

[Peters]

What's the bring out the red panties thing?

[Francis]

You never seen that? The Conor McGregor.

[Peters]

No.

[Francis]

And he's talking about the dude who booked, like, when Conor McGregor gets a fight, it's like he's doing the other guy a favor.

[Peters]

Oh.

[Francis]

And he's like, you get booked to Conor McGregor, fight, you call. He's like, call your wife. Bring out the red panties, baby. We booked McGregor. You guys have never seen that. It's so funny.

[Bo]

He is so funny.

[Francis]

Yeah, I know. It's a shame he had to do.

[Bo]

Those awful crimes of having his penis out on the Internet.

[Francis]

Apparently people hate him in Ireland.

[Bo]

Yeah. Because he. Dude, isn't there a story that he beat up an old guy at a bar?

[Francis]

I think he's done that like 30 times.

[Bo]

Like an old man at the bar, and then he bought the bar so they couldn't sue him or something like that.

[Francis]

Probably.

[Bo]

And now that's like McGregor's Bar in Ireland. So, like, Americans will go there and be like, we got to go to McGregor's, and everybody's like, that's like the most heinous crime that was commit. Like, that he beat up an old man and then, like, bought this bar to turn it into a tourist trap.

[Francis]

Yeah. Wasn't he also found guilty of rape?

[Bo]

Who cares about that, dude? He made a bar.

[Francis]

He committed this heinous act of buying a bar.

[Peters]

Conor McGregor.

[Bo]

Conor McGregor outside of his house. How about a rub, honey? I don't know. He was just. I mean, he kind of gotten canceled that bad because he was in the. That movie that. That premiere that I was at last year.

[Peters]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

That was after what was his big sexual misconduct scam.

[Peters]

Oh really?

[Francis]

I believe it was after. Because it was at like a basketball game roadhouse, wasn't it? I don't know.

[Bo]

I don't know.

[Peters]

Oh yeah, it was the bathroom of that arena, right? Yeah. Or something like that. Yeah, yeah.

[Bo]

Gilbert's. Gilbert's arena. Gilbert's Grape. Let me see that golf club. How about a long drive competition? Us three boys. So you can really smoke that thing.

[Francis]

I mean, I'm gonna just go ahead and skip on that one right off the bat.

[Bo]

You're not strong enough to beat me.

[Francis]

I would smoke you. Francis is the. But he would destroy us. Francis drives the ball like 500 yards.

[Bo]

Is this true? Is the first I'm hearing of this? Is this accurate?

[Francis]

Like you hit the greatest shot you've ever hit and then Francis goes and he's like. He's like your max club length double.

[Peters]

I love. This is fun. It's nice to be on the receiving end of sasses. Exaggerations.

[Bo]

Well, he's.

[Francis]

I mean, how. What's Your longest drive? 350.

[Peters]

I don't know. Look, that always depends, right? So on a downward wind behind firm fairway.

[Francis]

Let's say you're on the. You're at the range. You're at the. Let's say you're at the. You're at the Chicago's in house range.

[Peters]

They're simulated. Yeah, no wind.

[Francis]

You got a perfect lie.

[Peters]

I mean if I was really, you know, If I had 10 balls and I was loose, I could probably hit1 maybe 315 yard carry. Maybe not carry. I don't know. I actually don't know the answer to that. But that 310 maybe.

[Bo]

Not bad, Yuma.

[Francis]

Yeah, I think I could crack. Crack 250 easily.

[Peters]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bo]

I was. I was going like 2:30. First time picking up the club in years. A couple swings, couple practice swings. Work the kinks out.

[Francis]

Why not? Why not? It.

[Bo]

Me and you? Sass had the head.

[Peters]

I played with golf.

[Bo]

No, just driving.

[Francis]

Just driving?

[Bo]

Yeah. Just for distance.

[Peters]

I play with my electrician. I don't know if I told you guys about this.

[Francis]

Oh, so you, you. Well, you told us you made plans to play. You didn't tell us that you followed up.

[Peters]

Well, I played with him and he asked if he could bring his son and I said sure, yeah, no problem. And I'll be honest with you, I made some assumptions about Glenn's son. About Glenn and his son. Okay.

[Francis]

You thought they were gonna suck.

[Peters]

Yes.

[Francis]

And they're good, bro.

[Peters]

They were the two best people I've ever played golf with.

[Bo]

See, I'm thinking Glenn's a young guy.

[Peters]

Glenn is 60. He's won his club championship three times. Jesus. And his son has won it twice.

[Francis]

Damn.

[Peters]

Between them, they've won it five times. And the first time his son won it was when he was. He's 15 years old and he took his dad to extra holes.

[Francis]

That's crazy.

[Peters]

His son is a scratch golfer. And honestly I thought it was a sandbagging handicap.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

He is so much better than scratch, this kid. Kyle. Holy. He's. He's a barstool fan. So maybe he's listening to this. Kyle, if you're out there, I have never seen someone hit their irons the way that he does. It sounded like when you shoot the 550 at the watermelon melons.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Him making contact with a golf ball with like a five iron was the sound it makes when you make a watermelon explode.

[Francis]

Was he hitting blades?

[Peters]

I think so.

[Bo]

We gotta put blades will do that. Let's put Kyle up against foreplays best.

[Peters]

Dude, these guys did not miss.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

They were unbelievable. And I was such. I. I was ashamed of myself being like. Well, you know, my electrician, you know. Hopefully.

[Francis]

Hopefully charity.

[Peters]

Hopefully he knows golf etiquette.

[Bo]

Maybe he can clean the soot off his face.

[Francis]

Before you didn't even like. Yeah. You didn't even bring your full set. I'll just work on my short game.

[Peters]

Unbelievable. At golf.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

And it made me realize, first of all, I have wasted way too much money on golf over the years. And you know these guys. Yeah. Don't make assumptions. You don't have to be a billionaire to be. To be beating people at golf. You know what I mean?

[Francis]

I think if I had blades, I probably would have played better at the.

[Bo]

Don't spoil it, bro.

[Francis]

Well, I'm not spoiling anything.

[Peters]

There was a. There was a. I just wanted to.

[Francis]

Piss off Francis by saying sometimes there.

[Peters]

Are these memes on some of these funny golf accounts about blades. Well, yeah, but like there's. There's a meme where it's like you. The, the. When you know you're in trouble because the guy shows up like with certain clubs.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

And it's like brand new irons or whatever. No problem. Like the guy who's playing blades but like, doesn't deserve. And then there's like the guy who shows up in like tattered clothing with 15 year old blades. The ball mark on the center of the face has been there since like, he's never missed this spot right here, and it's worn. Like, the grooves are worn down.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

And he's never changed his irons. And it's like, run for your life.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

That guy is gonna walk. And that's what these two. These guys. Kyle walked us up.

[Francis]

That's crazy. How old was the son?

[Peters]

How old's Kyle now? I think he's in his mid-20s.

[Francis]

Maybe I'll be friends with Kyle.

[Bo]

We got to get him on the pod.

[Peters]

Dude. Kyle hammers the wall.

[Bo]

Was he a pretty good hang?

[Peters]

They were great hang. They were awesome.

[Bo]

Would he be tired of sassy?

[Francis]

How is he at Halo?

[Peters]

I don't think he has time for video games.

[Francis]

Focusing on his guy. Is he trying to, like, go pro? No, like, Scotty Scheffler. It's probably not a great.

[Peters]

He was gonna play in college, and then I think he. He kind of got screwed by, like, a recruiting issue with the coach.

[Bo]

Scheffler could be gone.

[Francis]

Scheffler's probably the goat.

[Bo]

If he doesn't fall into the Tiger woods pitfall of whores, he'll. He could wind up.

[Francis]

I mean, let me tell you, he's knocking on the door. That's for sure. Something's got to fill that void.

[Bo]

What?

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Bo]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

He's either going to be.

[Bo]

But those are the guys who are awesome at everything.

[Francis]

He's got two routes right now.

[Bo]

Robin Williams.

[Francis]

It's either get even better at golf and genuinely become the greatest of all time, or whores and drugs.

[Bo]

Yeah. He has a hole in his heart that is like.

[Francis]

And it's unrepairable.

[Peters]

Can I say that I listened to that full press conference? Yeah, probably three times.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Peters]

And it's. I'm not exaggerating. It's my favorite thing I've ever heard an athlete say.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

I've never. I hate to say. Let's put it this way. I've never aspired to relate to something more.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bo]

But he also. He's probably hearing all the people relate to it, and he's probably like, oh, no. Like, I'm talking about me. Like, you guys haven't accomplished anything. I just won four majors.

[Francis]

Yeah, he's the top of the world.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Yeah, he is.

[Bo]

And they, like, your local electrician's, like, that's my life.

[Francis]

Holy.

[Bo]

That's me, dude.

[Francis]

It is pretty crazy. This is so true that he won the tournament after that press conference.

[Peters]

Not only does he win it, he died. I mean. Yeah, it was. It was a.

[Francis]

After that, that, that approach shot that he had on the 18th hole was so sick.

[Bo]

Sick. I loved his approach, but it, it was very compelling to listen to.

[Peters]

I. I thought it was amazing because he was trying to figure out how to. How to articulate how he felt, and he wasn't entirely sure how to voice it.

[Bo]

Well, he's depressed.

[Francis]

Yeah. He has depression, you think?

[Bo]

Absolutely. That's like the definition of it.

[Peters]

I thought he just was unfulfilled. Maybe that's part of it.

[Francis]

I think he's saying. I think what he was trying to say is that, like, that golf isn't the only thing in the world for him.

[Peters]

Yeah. I think he was kind of like, why doesn't this make me happier?

[Bo]

Because he got depression.

[Francis]

It probably sucks. If you're one of those dudes that like, is a. It's like close to winning it.

[Peters]

You know, it's up and then you're.

[Francis]

Just hearing that dude being like, it's not even that good. I had that dude, I'll take it.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

Easily do it.

[Peters]

I had that thought where like, there's so many guys out there who are like, if I won it just one time. Yeah. My life would be complete forever.

[Francis]

It's like, dude, just roll out on the 18th on purpose if you don't care. Let me take the win.

[Bo]

And then he beat.

[Peters]

He beat that guy by 30 strokes. He's like two minutes. My two minutes of happiness.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Yeah. All right, back to.

[Bo]

For dinner. Yeah.

[Francis]

Back to dragging cops through the street. It's unfortunate. The only thing that brings me joy anymore is just seeing a police officer holding on to my rear like he's sketching.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

Like he's a can tied to a freshly married couple's car.

[Francis]

Fortunately, golf just doesn't do it anymore.

[Bo]

Rattling her along, hanging out.

[Francis]

Did you say. Did you. Did you say newly married? Yeah. The cans behind I'm cop car.

[Bo]

Dangling.

[Peters]

Dude, he's. He's really good at basketball. Have you seen him play?

[Francis]

I'm sure he's good at everything playing basketball.

[Bo]

It's another sign of depression. People who are just good at everything.

[Francis]

He's probably. He seems like he's actually athletic. Like he's not like. Yeah, he's not like, like just like one of those dudes that's just really good at golf.

[Peters]

That, that thing in quarterback. I started watching quarterbacks cuz you guys told me when Joe Burrow's parents are talking about how. Yeah, we weren't sure if he was going to go Division 1 in basketball or I guess football that kind of came out of nowhere. It's like, you were that good at basketball as a white kid. There's a year you, like, last minute, decided to become a quarterback.

[Bo]

I'll just go. I'll just go number one overall in the NFL.

[Peters]

Fucking nuts. Dude, he.

[Francis]

We had a. Or Drake May played Drake May was sick at basketball. You ever seen his highlights?

[Peters]

So was the Eagles guy.

[Bo]

Cooper DeJean.

[Peters]

Cooper DeJean.

[Francis]

Probably all of them. Realistically.

[Peters]

Yeah, there's.

[Bo]

I mean, have you ever seen Tom Brady shoot a basketball? It's like the purest shot. Yeah, it's amazing. And he's like 6 5. Like, Tom Brady could have easily been Con. Canupal or whatever. Tom Brady, Yeah. But some of these basketball players. Slowest pro, you know.

[Francis]

True, true. I guess, like, yeah, Shaq wasn't that.

[Peters]

I don't think Pal Gasol has beaten too many people in a 40.

[Francis]

Yeah, but Brady's like. Like, Brady's, like, slow.

[Bo]

But some of the. Did you ever see that dude, Josh McCown? He was a quarterback and he was, like, old as fuck. And then one season, his team was out of wide receiver, so he just, like, played receiver and he was sick. He runs like a 5, 2, and he just was, like, routing dudes up because of suddenness. I think suddenness is really everything.

[Francis]

Routes are the name of the game. I want to see Tom Brady's max speed.

[Bo]

Speed is so overrated. Unless you're, like, racing against. Ishow speed. It doesn't matter at all.

[Peters]

Yeah, I was gonna say. Are you talking about iShow at 46?

[Francis]

He ran a 518 and a 512.

[Bo]

Where was this Juice Times by the 2008.

[Francis]

In 2000, he ran a 4, 2. He ran a 5, 28 when he was drafted. So at the combine, he ran a 5, 2 8. And then since then, he's clocked a 518 and a 512. At the age of 46.

[Bo]

Wow.

[Francis]

So he's gotten faster.

[Peters]

Yep.

[Francis]

But still, that's. He's pretty slow.

[Bo]

Well, he should. He better get faster.

[Peters]

I went and saw F1 last night.

[Francis]

He's faster than me by a lot.

[Peters]

Did you guys see F1?

[Francis]

No, I haven't seen it yet.

[Bo]

It's a movie.

[Peters]

Yeah, it's the Brad Pitt. I heard it was great.

[Francis]

You didn't like it?

[Peters]

It was good. I mean, it was the worst writing I've ever heard in my life. Really? Almost like I. I'd rather watch this movie without it's.

[Francis]

I heard it was fights. Told me it was Fights Told me he saw it like three times. Some shit.

[Peters]

Fights is. I'm going to be honest with you.

[Francis]

He's got some interesting movie takes.

[Peters]

His taste is like. How do I put it? It's. It's like he's living in a bunker and all he has for entertainment are movies.

[Francis]

But that's because he's like super into movies.

[Bo]

Like, he's like perpetually on a. On a 16 hour flight and he's like, yeah, what else?

[Francis]

He's like. He's like a theater. He goes to theaters like multiple times.

[Peters]

I know he hasn't gotten that thing that so many of us have developed, which is the loss of attention span as a result of multiple stimuli.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

Where at this point, for a movie to hold my attention for two hours, it has to be, you know, it's got to be the Dark Knight or something.

[Bo]

Seeing movies three times is nuts.

[Francis]

I mean.

[Peters]

Yeah, I thought it was. I thought it was good. The scenes were good. The driving scenes were amazing. But Brad Pitt, like, you know, Brad Pitt's acting. Brad Pitt is a great actor and I think in. Throughout his career he's shown a lot of range from Fight Club to Benjamin Button to 10, 20 years, seven years in Tibet to 12 years a slave. He was in 12. Yeah. 14 monkeys or whatever.

[Francis]

Doesn't he play the good guy in 12 Years a Slave? Yeah, he's the guy who lets him.

[Peters]

Down, passes the word back that this guy's been a slave for the last.

[Bo]

Aldo rain.

[Peters]

11 and 3 quarters.

[Bo]

11.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Bo]

I just rewatched Oceans so good.

[Francis]

I mean, it doesn't get much better.

[Bo]

From the beginning on TNT with commercials. And it was so. I needed the commercials because I was like, what just happened?

[Peters]

Commercial dude.

[Francis]

Watching a movie with commercials. Not as bad as Very nice because you're just bring out the phone and.

[Bo]

Then I can tap back in.

[Francis]

Of course.

[Peters]

Yeah. I thought that this movie didn't do a ton to utilize Brad Pitt's acting abilities. It almost like handcuffed him a little.

[Bo]

I'm actually. No, don't say.

[Francis]

Is Pitt rinsed?

[Bo]

Do not say he's rinsed.

[Francis]

People are talking.

[Bo]

No, they're not. He's chopped and rinsed.

[Francis]

People are saying that pit might be.

[Bo]

Done, that he's chopped, that he's actually ugly as right now.

[Peters]

I mean, if he looks amazing, amazing, obviously he's lost it.

[Bo]

He's like the millennial ideal of a hot guy more than anybody else.

[Peters]

Right. His outfits in this movie are beyond belief. I loved his clothing so much. I loved it.

[Bo]

I think millennials idea of a hot guy is Brad Pitt. I think Generation X's idea of a hot guy is Dave Beckham. I think Gen Z's definition of a hot guy is Timothy Chalamet. Who else am I missing? I think like a baby boomer's idea of a hot guy is what you.

[Francis]

Guys thoughts on Pascal. Pedro Pascal.

[Bo]

People glaze him, they're like, he's so nice.

[Peters]

I like him. Why don't I like him? I don't know.

[Francis]

I don't know if I don't know. I don't know what my thoughts are.

[Bo]

On him that everybody likes him.

[Francis]

So him, he's a little much for me.

[Peters]

He's in too much. He's overexposed.

[Francis]

A little much for me.

[Peters]

Me overexposed.

[Francis]

I also just kind of am like, don't believe. I think he's kind of like he's fake. He's like, he's kind of fake.

[Bo]

He's a Hollywood phony, bro.

[Francis]

How old is Pedro, his Pedro Pascal? 50.

[Bo]

Probably there. He probably had some dark years in there.

[Francis]

Yeah, 50 on the dot.

[Bo]

Yeah, he probably had some very dark times early on in his life.

[Francis]

What was he doing before he was. Before he blew up?

[Bo]

Because he just blew up over the last however many years. And then at the beginning of the last of us, he's playing like a 32 year old.

[Francis]

Well, because now he's like jacked.

[Bo]

Like indie steroid monster like Kumail Najani.

[Francis]

Yeah. Paint snails.

[Bo]

Paints snails.

[Francis]

Paints snails in his furry time.

[Bo]

The snail racing. Gambles on snail racing.

[Francis]

Have you guys ever watched, have you guys ever gone down the YouTube rabbit hole of just the marbles racing?

[Bo]

Yeah, it's so good.

[Francis]

Great. Me and my friends used to watch that all the time.

[Bo]

That's all there was during COVID Yeah, they're really fun to watch great videos because you're like, how did blue.

[Francis]

Oh, they're like, the guys got like.

[Bo]

Multiple angles set up and it's the natural progression of. What are those machines called?

[Peters]

Yes, the. The gumball machine were Whirly Steinvins machine, something like that.

[Bo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Peters]

I'll look it up.

[Francis]

You guys ever.

[Peters]

With Hot Wheels, I was more of a Matchbox Car kind of guy.

[Bo]

I was more of a Matchbox 20 guy. Rob Thomas.

[Francis]

I was a big, I was a big Hot Wheels guy. Racing the Hot Wheels was always fun because there's always like. It was pretty obvious I never had.

[Bo]

A good enough track. Like I'd watch a commercial and there'd be sick tracks and I'd have, like, a ass, slow.

[Francis]

I just had a straight one. Just a straight shot.

[Peters]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Easily the best way to race.

[Bo]

No loop?

[Francis]

No.

[Bo]

When I saw the loop, parents couldn't afford it.

[Peters]

Rube Goldberg.

[Bo]

Yes.

[Francis]

We couldn't afford the loop when I was growing up.

[Bo]

Yeah, me neither.

[Francis]

Well, my dad said maybe next year.

[Bo]

My dad made a homemade loop out of tin foil, crafting it. It's just as good.

[Francis]

Those things always broke, though. Someone would come over and just snap the track in half, step on the.

[Peters]

Car.

[Bo]

You left it in the sun, it would melt.

[Francis]

Yeah. When you're one of the neighbors, kids all over, all over it, break it.

[Peters]

Puke, wipe their grilled cheese, hands all.

[Bo]

Over it, some juice mouth.

[Francis]

When I was. When I was, like, really young, like a child, it was Christmas morning, and I remember we had one of my friends growing up, lived, like, right down the street, and, like, I would go walk down to the bottom of the street and say, hi, and I went down on Christmas, like, afternoon. See what kind of toys he got. And he had, like, a. He had, like a. He got, like, a remote control, like, helicopter. Styrofoam. I broke it immediately.

[Bo]

Oh, no.

[Francis]

I don't think I've ever felt that bad in my entire life.

[Bo]

You on purpose?

[Francis]

No, but it's like, Christmas morning, and I'm like, oh, what's this? Snapped it in half. Like, it was made of. It was literally made of Styrofoam.

[Peters]

I know that toy.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, that's what they used to be like, right? That toy might just be a Styrofoam with a battery in it and a propeller.

[Peters]

I remember I used to do Kuman.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah, the tutoring.

[Peters]

Did you do Kuman?

[Francis]

No, my little sister did, though.

[Peters]

Yeah. I had to do Kumon, and depending on the number.

[Bo]

What is it?

[Francis]

It's like a tutoring program.

[Peters]

Math, specifically.

[Bo]

Oh, I see those all over the city. It's spelled very unfortunately.

[Peters]

Ku, K, U, M, O, N. Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

What is that unfortunately? Come on, come on, come on, come on now.

[Bo]

I used to do Come on.

[Peters]

Yeah. I did come. I didn't. Come on, math. And how long has.

[Francis]

Come on?

[Peters]

Been around A long time.

[Francis]

I didn't know that.

[Peters]

I think it was like. I think it's Japanese or it's Korean or something. I mean, it's been around since, you.

[Francis]

Know, it's got, like, the cool.

[Peters]

The emperors.

[Bo]

Yeah, since Alibaba and the 40 thieves.

[Peters]

Exactly. So I used to do that, and it was like, if you finished a number of worksheets or whatever. Each time you finished a worksheet, get a token.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Peters]

And then at the end of a certain. Depending on how many tokens you had, you could get prizes. There were thresholds.

[Bo]

You get like a Chinese finger trap.

[Peters]

Yeah. It wasn't much, but they did have this one airplane. It was one of the ones with the propeller where you wound it around a rubber band and then you let it go and theoretically the propeller would spin for a bit. So it should work. Yeah, I worked. I did so many worksheets and it never worked. I got so many tokens and I finally got that airplane and I wound it up, I assembled it and I let it go. And it broke.

[Francis]

Yeah, breaks sucks.

[Peters]

It was made of paper and sticks.

[Bo]

Yeah, that.

[Francis]

What was the last time you got something that was like you were looking forward to it? Got it broken.

[Bo]

The last. I mean, twice in my life. I got one. One year I got fencing swords that my parents bought from foils. Maybe they were like plastic. They. They.

[Peters]

But that's what they're called. They're called foils.

[Bo]

Oh yeah.

[Peters]

Fencing foils.

[Bo]

Yeah. Yeah. And they were like second hand fencing. Fencing swords. And I tried to fence with my sister and I think I like smacked the out of her. She ran in crying. We immediately got the fencing taken away. And the exact same thing happened when I first got a knife. My sister like cut her hand on the knife and was like, I can't have the knife anymore.

[Francis]

We were going to get. We were going to get Pokemon cards one day and I bit my sister. Pokemon cards were canceled.

[Bo]

Well, you were 21 at the time.

[Francis]

I was probably like 5. I remember it very vividly.

[Bo]

Having a biter is. Is tough.

[Francis]

I wasn't even a biter. I think I just got in a fight with my sister and bitter.

[Peters]

Sounds like you were a biter.

[Francis]

But I never did that. Like, I wasn't something I would usually do. I think it was like a defense tactic.

[Bo]

There's no way it was defense.

[Francis]

I could definitely.

[Bo]

You were on the.

[Francis]

Was over.

[Peters]

Still.

[Francis]

Still underground. So I looked older to you Came around. I was only falling one way.

[Peters]

I.

[Francis]

Was only falling one way I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only folding one way I was only falling one way that is to your eyes. No one can take me alive I was only falling one way.