Son of a Boy Dad #363

"Fran vs. Wild"

Date: December 30, 2025
Host: Francis (Fran), produced by Rone (absent this episode)
Podcast: Barstool Sports

Episode Overview

In this atypical and introspective episode, Francis takes the mic solo, broadcasting from a sheep farm cabin near Wanaka, New Zealand. The show pivots from its usual comedic banter to a personal travel diary as Francis updates listeners on his ongoing solo adventure through New Zealand. He reflects not only on the country’s natural wonders, golf, and cuisine—but also on the challenges and rewards of solo travel, personal growth, and his ongoing effort to “craft a healthy worldview,” all in the absence of his usual castmates.

Key Segments & Insights

1. Solo Travel Setup: New Zealand Arrival

• 0:00–09:45
  • Francis details his complicated journey to New Zealand, including a determined (and comically frantic) detour to experience the new Delta One Lounge at Boston Logan.
    • “I think the Delta One Lounge at Logan Airport might be the nicest restaurant in Boston. Truly.” (06:10)
  • Humorous first encounters with left-side driving; repeatedly triggers windshield wipers instead of the turn signal.

2. North Island Adventures: Golf, Fishing, Beach Towns

• 09:46–22:15
  • Stays with “Jonty” (a local friend) and explores the exclusive world-class golf destination Tara Iti.
    • Story of a billionaire buying land by helicopter and commissioning three of the world's top-ranked golf courses ("Tara Iti," "Tri North," and "Tri South").
    • Fresh catch-and-cook: crayfish and red snapper ("the fish went from the ocean, to my mouth in an hour").
      • “Look, I hate to say it, I’m from Maine—a major lobster guy—but I think crayfish is tastier.” (15:25)
  • Notes on the looming crayfish hunting ban—environmental awareness.

3. Transition to the South Island: Road to Fiordland

• 22:16–34:00
  • Flight to Queenstown, then two-hour drive to Te Anau and Fiordland National Park.
    • Description of daunting, narrow mountain roads and tourist traffic.
  • Milford Sound Experience:
    • “It was pouring rain and the drive there was a fucking nightmare—terrifying.” (29:14)
    • Disappointment at the tourist-heavy, highly orchestrated experience.
    • “You don’t feel like you’re experiencing something unique. This is a well-oiled machine. It’s a tourist trap.” (31:22)
  • Expresses a bout of ennui—questioning what he’s learning, the solitude, missing work and routine.

4. Turning Point: Fly Fishing Triumph

• 34:01–46:55
  • Day with veteran fly-fishing guide Scott ("Salty Dog") turns the trip around.
    • Insights into New Zealand’s unique river access laws, high difficulty of wild trout fishing.
  • Overcomes “beginner” status: lands nine brown trout, surpasses friend Harry’s bests.
    • “And that was the first fish. And then from there I caught eight more. I caught nine fucking brown trout.” (45:54)
    • “Needling Harry about how much bigger the browns are that I’ve caught than he ever has.” (44:18)
  • Guide wades deep into river to free giant trout.
  • Discussion of New Zealand’s relaxed open-container laws and robust drinking culture.
    • “New Zealand is a drinking country. Thank God. What a relief. None of this sober, curious stuff going on...” (46:37)

5. Queenstown Hilton & Golf: Local Color and Celebrity

• 46:56–59:50
  • Frustrating but amusing stay at a subpar Hilton: parking fees, poor housekeeping, and underwhelming salmon.
    • “White sink, black beard hairs...I started laughing. Not gonna fucking make a complaint, it’s too late. I just need to go to bed.” (50:15)
  • Golf at Jack’s Point, South Island’s 7th-rated course.
    • Welcomed like a celebrity; receives gifts as “inaugural Internet Invitational champion.”
    • Commentary on the cultural norm of “work studies”—the ease with which young people from Commonwealth countries travel and work abroad.
  • Joins a fun four-ball of locals; pokes fun at flask culture.
    • “If you have a friend that carries a hip flask—actually has whiskey—you probably have to have an intervention.” (54:10)

6. Wanaka & the Joys/Pains of Hiking

• 59:51–1:15:28
  • Details arrival at Lake Hawea Station: a luxury, off-grid sheep farm with minimal connectivity.
  • Hike up Roy’s Peak:
    • Brutal ascent, grueling descent; crowd of international tourists.
    • “This hike was injurious. I don’t know how else to put it. It hurt me. It was not good for me.” (1:07:32)
    • Musings on the true motivators for hiking—fear of quitting over love of the outdoors.
  • Cultural study: Most friendly nations on the trail—Americans and Canadians top, Scandinavians at the bottom.
    • “Scandinavians—holy shit. Any time I said hi to any of these people, it felt like I was telling a career woman to smile more.” (1:11:14)
  • On the descent: sudden dehydration, strong UV rays, and a victorious leap into the frigid lake.

7. More Local Flavor: Food and Social Encounters

• 1:15:29–1:26:30
  • Gourmet meal at Kika’s in Wanaka, affordable fine dining due to favorable currency exchange.
  • Breast Hill hike: easier but still disliked (“Why the fuck am I hiking? How did I not learn my lesson?”) (1:18:51)
  • Playful interlude: joins local teens at a rope swing (“36-year-old man in a line of 14-year-olds—me in my skin-tight briefs...”). Warm, friendly banter.
  • Praises the frankness and approachability of Kiwis, noting few cultural barriers with Americans.

8. Reflecting on Solo Travel and Takeaways

• 1:26:31–end
  • Honest assessment: solo travel is rewarding but “two weeks is too long” alone.
    • “Mostly it’s that I just do love my life back home. I love my job and I miss it.” (1:27:55)
    • Wishes for company to split driving and share meals.
    • A surge of self-respect for sticking the trip out: "I was being a little bit of a bitch. I should be so lucky as to be here."
  • Reveals financial context: enjoying play money from Internet Invitational winnings, guilt-free spending.
    • “I took $200,000 of that and put it away...then I allowed myself to take the $22K as play money. I’m not spending all of that in New Zealand, but, I have no problem spending $150 on dinner every single night here.” (1:29:50)
  • Closing hope to connect with locals, maybe meet some friends for a beer.
  • Offers DM access for travel tips and signs off.

Notable Quotes

• On the touristy Milford Sound:
  “You don’t feel like you’re experiencing something unique. This is a well-oiled machine. It’s a tourist trap.” (31:22)

• On fly fishing vs. solo introspection:
  “I had gone to New Zealand with the express purpose of, you know, learning to be by myself...It only took me four days to realize I fucking can’t stand being alone.” (47:22)

• On New Zealand’s vibe:
  “There's really no culture shock at all. Instantly, you can plug and play and jump right in. It’s not hard, other than adjusting to driving on the other side of the road.” (1:24:15)

• On hiking motivators:
  “The only thing that stops me from turning back is not wanting to be angry with myself quitting...It’s the deterrent of failure that keeps me going.” (1:08:39)

• On local warmth:
  “They like Americans. They don’t like all their tourists, but they do like Americans.” (1:22:45)

Memorable Moments & Humor

• Francis attempting left-side driving but constantly turning on windshield wipers.
• Comparing crayfish favorably to lobster, risking sacrilege as a “Maine guy.”
• The guide stripping down and wading chest-deep to rescue a trout.
• Francis ranking trail greetings by nationality, with Scandinavians dubbed "ice queens."
• Accidentally partaking in a youth rope swing, attempting (unsuccessfully) not to look "suspect" as a lone adult.
• Self-aware barbs: “I was being a little bit of a bitch. I should be so lucky as to be here.”

Final Thoughts

This episode blends travelogue, humor, and candid reflection. Francis’s intimate, honest account offers visual, culinary, athletic, and psychological snapshots of a deeply personal journey—a vivid primer for anyone considering solo travel or curious about New Zealand’s landscape and culture.
He graciously invites listener interaction and may record a follow-up, reinforcing that direct, open connection with his audience.