No Cigars for Office Men | Son of a Boy Dad #361

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #361: No Cigars for Office Men

Podcast: Son of a Boy Dad
Host: Barstool Sports
Date: December 18, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this end-of-year episode, Lil Sasquatch confronts his recent step into the world as a college dropout, while producer Rone and co-host Harry join him for a playful, rambling, and often self-deprecating look at manhood, holiday traditions, and life’s little absurdities. As their last in-person recording of 2025, the trio reflect on rituals, office politics, and the hilarity of everyday struggles—from forbidden office cigars to who does the heavy lifting on family trips and the mysteries of Christmas lights.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Office Chaos & Cigar Capers

• The episode opens with Harry bringing swag from a gamer friend (controller gifts), sparking banter over who introduced whom, gifting etiquette, and perceived slights in friendship.
• Roan tries to introduce cigars into the recording as a celebratory gesture for the last in-office show of the year, but this leads to a discussion about office rules and resistance (06:00).
• Memorable Moment: The gang debates the limits of office mischief and whether it’s worth angering staff just for the “vibe”:

  “Nothing makes me happier than a cigar. I don't want to upset the company.” – Roan (11:32)

2. White Elephant Gift Exchanges & Internal Company Dynamics

• Roan laments Harry’s non-participation in the office White Elephant gift exchange, which segues into sarcastic commentary on company culture and who really holds power at Barstool.
• “That's always been the truth of it, is that we need the booking people. The booking people don't need us.” – Roan (14:07)

3. Manhood and the Burden of Carrying Luggage

• The hosts riff on expectations for men, especially husbands, to “lug all the heavy stuff” during family trips—a relatable theme that becomes a running joke about masculinity, hot girl dimensions, and the humility of not being the “strong man” at home (16:00 – 19:30).
• “Dude, that's a hot girl. Those are like hot girl dimensions.” – Sass (18:08)
• “When everyone. Whenever I'm bringing in. I'm taking everything in one trip. No matter what.” – Harry (19:39)

4. Christmas Traditions, Family, and Seasonal Nostalgia

• The conversation goes deep into each host’s holiday routine, from Christmas Eve family gatherings to the fatigue induced by syrupy waffles and cinnamon rolls (72:12 – 85:40).
• Quotable:

  “Eating syrupy waffles more than taking Ambien.” – Sass (85:36)

• Harry describes familial denial of Santa’s non-existence, revealing layers of family tradition and gentle ribbing (78:11).

5. Travel, Nature, and Childhood Memories

• The hosts reminisce about summer trips, owning land on Lake Ontario, and arduous journeys from Maine to Canada, painting vivid pictures of tradition, discomfort, and adventure (32:31–34:58).
• Quotable:

  “Our camp was called Windmill because we had an old abandoned windmill on the island. It was great.” – Sass (32:46)

6. Great Lakes, Exotic Gifts, and the Value of Old Stuff

• Half-serious, half-absurd conversation about submerged champagne, expensive cigars, and the notion of value—stories about shipwreck wine, hand-rolled cigars, and the comparison to art or rare collectibles (27:13–31:28).
• “You just have a house or like 20 minutes of pleasure.” – Roan on expensive cigars (27:48)

7. Gender Norms & Christmas Decorations

• Spirited debate about white vs. colorful Christmas lights, with Harry defending his love for bright, chaotic displays against Roan's “white lights are classy” argument (49:26–52:28).
• “Colorful lights is kinda poor.” – Roan (50:53)
• “I'm with Harry on this one... White lights. It's a girl move. I hate to be that guy.” – Harry (50:29)

8. Olympic Events, Athletes & the Absurdity of Tradition

• Long, humorous riff on which Olympic events deserve to stay or go, why the hammer throw exists, and the surprise that long jump with a pogo stick is worse than without (55:01–57:11).
• “That just crossed all the lines.” – Harry after Sass mistreats his controller (24:09)

9. Travel & Loneliness: Christmas Abroad

• Sass plans for an upcoming solo trip to New Zealand over Christmas, expressing both excitement and anxiety about spending the holidays alone—and a public plea for Kiwi listeners to offer companionship or golf partners (39:55–42:51).
• “If there's any cunts down in New Zealand that would take in Francis...” – Roan (41:39)
• “I'm gonna call my family at, like, in a tent. 11pm on Christmas Day. And they will just be getting up to unwrap presents.” – Sass (41:52)

10. Random Oddities & Urban Life

• The group marvels at weird city phenomena: piles of used condoms at the dump, seeing safe-sex precautions on subway steps, and the mystery of why Moynihan Train Hall is so much cleaner than Penn Station (64:11–68:41).
• “It occurred to me, who had sex on these steps and had not only had sex on these steps, but had protected sex?” – Sass (66:17)

11. Gift Giving & Consumerism

• Discussion on the pressure and awkwardness of asking for Christmas gifts as adults, and how Amazon’s convenience has “killed Christmas” for those who once delighted in surprise (79:14–83:34).
• “Amazon, Loki, has killed Christmas.” – Roan (83:22)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [06:00] Roan: “It's our last episode in person of the year.”
• [18:08] Sass: “Dude, that's a hot girl. Those are like hot girl dimensions.”
• [50:53] Roan: “Colorful lights is kinda poor.”
• [72:25] Harry: “Of course I'm going to honor my family by waking up... We used to wake up at like 6am and honestly, that probably went on a little longer than I would like to admit.”
• [85:36] Sass (on Christmas fatigue): “Eating syrupy waffles more than taking Ambien.”
• [41:39] Roan (on Christmas abroad): “If there's any cunts down in New Zealand that would take in Francis...”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:00] – Cigar caper and office friction
• [14:07] – Company politics & the White Elephant exchange
• [16:00–19:30] – Stereotypes about men and holiday lifting/luggage
• [32:31–34:58] – Childhood camp stories, Lake Ontario
• [49:26–52:28] – White vs. colorful Christmas lights debate
• [55:01–57:11] – Olympic events and pogo sticks
• [64:11–68:41] – NYC oddities: condom piles, safe sex on subway stairs
• [72:12–85:40] – Family Christmas traditions, food, and gift etiquette

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Tone & Style

The conversation is informal, fast-moving, and densely packed with banter, inside jokes, and self-mockery. The trio are irreverent but warm, quick to poke fun at themselves and each other, but always returning to real, relatable anxieties about adulthood, tradition, and friendship.

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Summary

“No Cigars for Office Men” is quintessential Son of a Boy Dad: equal parts nostalgia, social observation, and playful chaos, with hilarious detours into office politics, masculinity, family rituals, and the awkwardness of growing up. While celebrating a year of shows, the hosts lean into the discomfort, joy, and absurdity of what it means to be an adult at the holidays—and whether you can ever really learn “how to be a man” by torching a stogie at 11AM in your place of work.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Roan]

Hey. Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Sass]

Golf season is in full swing and.

[Harry]

Getting out there to work on your game is bound to make any day even better.

[Sass]

And if you're looking to improve your drive, Chevy Equinox EV is the smartest.

[Harry]

Choice you can make. Bold athletic styling, a commanding presence, award.

[Sass]

Winning tech, an impressive range, all with an affordable msrp.

[Harry]

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[Roan]

Make this the year you took their breath away. Only with Gold Belly. The year you surprised them with the lobster rolls from their main honeymoon. The year the grandkids tried the black and white cookies that defined your brother and childhood. The year they got to stay up late eating the cotton candy cake you sent. The year they learned that true Texas barbecue really is that much better. Because with 20% off your first Goldbelly.com, order, sending core memories nationwide has never been easier. Use promo code gift and make this year one to remember.

[Sass]

What do you got there, hairball?

[Harry]

Bunch of goodies.

[Roan]

For himself. For himself.

[Harry]

Shout out to touch.

[Sass]

Douche. Got you this.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Sass]

What the.

[Roan]

Let's get this. Let's get this live on the show.

[Sass]

I introduced you to Tush.

[Harry]

Well, not anymore.

[Roan]

It's crazy. Yeah, more Francis. You, like, shower him with gifts and then he brings in gifts also for him.

[Sass]

He brings in gifts from my friend.

[Roan]

Yeah, that.

[Sass]

I've been like, I've literally. Harry said to you, like, hey, here's this guy. I want to connect you.

[Harry]

And I told you we've been talking.

[Sass]

Shut the up.

[Harry]

I did.

[Sass]

That's insane.

[Harry]

I said, I was like, we've already been. We've already. I literally said I think multiple times.

[Sass]

You know why you were talking? No, because I said to him, I've got a guy for you to meet.

[Harry]

I don't know about that.

[Sass]

I know about it.

[Harry]

I think Tushe was already familiar.

[Sass]

No, he wasn't. He didn't know.

[Roan]

How would he be?

[Harry]

He knew the face.

[Sass]

He's. Oh, you think he was from the meme. Oh, are you talking about that guy who sucks at video games? Is that who you mean?

[Roan]

No, he's talking about the still photo from the draft video.

[Sass]

Oh, that's who he's talking about.

[Roan]

Like, yeah, people know the face.

[Sass]

Actually, I kind of want to. I want to really prove this. This matters to me now, what I'm going to see at what point I Said touch that. He should look up you.

[Harry]

Oh, I don't. We don't need to.

[Sass]

I believe you.

[Roan]

Yeah. It's very clear.

[Sass]

It's not good enough.

[Harry]

All right.

[Sass]

Are we good?

[Roan]

Yep.

[Harry]

Alrighty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is December 16th and we are here live from HQ.

[Roan]

Trails last episode in HQ trays of 2025 for all three of us.

[Harry]

Is it now?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Really?

[Harry]

That's news. That's news.

[Sass]

Ready for this, Frank?

[Roan]

For this?

[Harry]

I. I suppose I am ready for it.

[Sass]

This is October 28th. He goes, I might still be in Dallas on the date that we planned for for he and I to play golf.

[Harry]

Yes.

[Sass]

We're good friends. Yes. This is Deltouche. We're doing a lock in where we all sleep in the same room and game 247 until we get to 10th prestige in the new COD. COD?

[Roan]

Call of Duty.

[Sass]

He wrote it in undercase. That's why I said. I said cod. I mean, I did the opposite of what you'd think you'd do. There starts the 13th and undetermined how long it'll take. I go, LOL. That's incredible. You should invite Harry. Yeah. Do you know that I advocate for you?

[Harry]

I don't know what you want me to say.

[Sass]

That I'm always pushing you and.

[Harry]

Yeah, I talk to you. We talked about it.

[Sass]

And that I'm always saying, hey, this guy. This guy.

[Roan]

What are you saying? Who's Harry?

[Sass]

I'm. I do. What in Rome does this too, by the way. He's probably the best at it.

[Harry]

That's great.

[Sass]

Gassing up friends.

[Harry]

Yes. Yes.

[Sass]

He goes, is that sass?

[Harry]

Of course. Sounds like he knew. Immediately.

[Sass]

I go, yes. The fact that he doesn't know that your name is Harry, that blew up in your face. What do you mean?

[Harry]

He knew who I was Immediately.

[Sass]

He's asking for clarification. Anyone who knows you would know that when I say Harry.

[Harry]

No. 90% of the people that know me don't know my name.

[Sass]

Harry. You're kidding.

[Harry]

Not even a little.

[Sass]

I'm talking to a video gamer about a video game thing and I say, you should bring Harry. And he has to clarify, is that sass?

[Harry]

Because he doesn't know my name.

[Sass]

Yes. This is my point, is that this is the first moment where he becomes aware of you.

[Harry]

Okay, that's fine.

[Sass]

And then later, you two connected on my overture, which was the whole genesis of this argument.

[Roan]

Acknowledge his overture.

[Harry]

I appreciate it.

[Roan]

Acknowledge the overture. Thank you.

[Sass]

I broke the right. I broke the ice. You were trying to be like, I've been with Touche. I've been. We send each other gifts.

[Harry]

Oh, I was not.

[Sass]

Yes, you did. You brought all this in to fucking mock me for.

[Harry]

No, I brought it in because I wanted to open it up.

[Sass]

It's a huge windfall. You had to do this in front of my face?

[Harry]

Yes.

[Sass]

Presents from my friend that I introduced you to who didn't even know you're real. Gnome to bro.

[Harry]

Touche. Does not fuck with you like that.

[Sass]

I hate to break it to you. Should we call him?

[Harry]

No, no, because don't call douche.

[Roan]

He's gonna prove that you know is that you don't know his gnome to plume.

[Sass]

You're not a gnome. You guys are not on a gnome to plume basis.

[Roan]

You really aren't.

[Harry]

We might not be, but gnome de.

[Roan]

Plume by any other name.

[Harry]

Shout out to touch though, for these. For these controllers. This is sick.

[Roan]

I brought in something.

[Harry]

Oh, Stogies. Really?

[Sass]

Oh, my God.

[Roan]

It's the last episode. It's our last episode in person of the year.

[Harry]

Stogies today.

[Roan]

It's the last episode in person of the year.

[Harry]

Oh, my.

[Sass]

I mean, it's the last episode in.

[Roan]

Person of the year.

[Sass]

God damn it.

[Harry]

Have you cleared this with people?

[Roan]

It's a holiday day.

[Harry]

The office is slammed.

[Roan]

So what? God forbid people fucking shoot.

[Harry]

Like, you know, shoot heroin or some shit.

[Roan]

I have that too.

[Harry]

Stogies.

[Sass]

There might be even more Del2 stuff.

[Harry]

I can't believe you're just diving right into the stogie like that.

[Sass]

Me neither. We're gonna need to do the whole thing. We're gonna need to do the.

[Harry]

Well, I'm not rounds. Biting the bullet on this.

[Roan]

I came it on Friday. No one was here in the whole office. There's one guy here.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Named Tyler.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I was like, what are you. What are you doing here on a Friday?

[Sass]

Well, now I'm gonna take off the clothes I was planning to wear all day because I have to.

[Harry]

What did Tyler say?

[Roan]

He said. He said he's new. He said that he's new here. And. And if people don't want us to smoke cigars, they have to. We. They have to tell us on Friday.

[Harry]

On Friday in advance, in perfect person.

[Roan]

All right. They have to show up on Friday to tell us.

[Harry]

What else you got in that bag?

[Roan]

Stuff for the white elephant that you're not participating in, even though you easily could.

[Harry]

Why?

[Roan]

What do you mean why?

[Harry]

How.

[Roan]

How what? It's a white elephant. There's a sign up sheet that was sent out to your email.

[Harry]

No, I saw it.

[Roan]

Yeah, exactly. What do you mean? How should I not smoke this if there's. If it's going to be a problem?

[Harry]

Oh, that's up to you. I mean, you're already in.

[Roan]

I know.

[Sass]

That's what I'm saying.

[Harry]

I mean, I'm always.

[Sass]

I do. I've made this reference before. I feel like Casey Affleck and goodwill hunting when. When Ben and Matt get out to beat up the guy and he's like, you're going. You're fucking going. I don't want to go. I don't want to have a cigar at 11am before a four and a half hour train ride to Boston.

[Harry]

I haven't even eaten anything today.

[Roan]

It's our last episode in person of the year. I feel like we had a good year.

[Sass]

I actually. I actually. Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

I'm not far off from agreeing with Harry about I'd rather do heroin. Can we switch it up at least from what horrible thing we do to set ourselves back medically?

[Roan]

I think there's eggnog downstairs.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah. Well, that went so well the last time.

[Harry]

That was nasty.

[Sass]

Tyler, do you want to just maybe tell people.

[Roan]

I'll just. We can. We don't have to smoke. We don't have to smoke.

[Sass]

Let's just.

[Harry]

We get a. Hold them.

[Sass]

We'll hold them.

[Roan]

We'll just bite them for the. Look, we won't light them. That's okay. It's okay. It's okay. We won't smoke cigars. We won't smoke cigars because the people who can't be bothered to show up to their jobs will have a problem with it on the one day a week that they show up, even though tomorrow's a holiday party. And what are. What are they celebrating?

[Sass]

Owen's already got a cig in his mouth.

[Harry]

Like.

[Sass]

Wait, what? We're not.

[Harry]

What do you think? Oh, you already took it out.

[Roan]

No, I put it out. I put it out. I put it out. The. The viewers, right? The people that have been so invested in. In. I mean, son of a Boy dad podcast. No, no, Francis. Francis, no, no, no.

[Harry]

I don't want to talk to you boys. I don't call. I don't call these shots. It's a contract year for me. So.

[Roan]

I put mine out. I put mine out. Mine's out.

[Sass]

Now.

[Harry]

It's just Francis.

[Roan]

Yeah. Now they're going to walk in and it's just going to be Francis.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's gonna look a little weird, too. People are gonna Be like, why are you just smoking a cigar solo in here? Is that the fan? All right. Are we lighting them up?

[Roan]

No, no, no.

[Harry]

You don't want to.

[Roan]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Sass]

I feel like that was pretty minimal resistance overall. I don't know that we. I'm surprised that's all it took to thwart your.

[Roan]

Well, now I'm. Yeah, now.

[Harry]

Well, that first hit didn't go down too.

[Roan]

No. I love how it tastes.

[Harry]

You're laying down now.

[Roan]

No.

[Harry]

You broke out in a sweat.

[Roan]

Nothing makes me happier than a cigar. I don't want to upset the company.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, I think the damage is done, to be honest. It reeks.

[Sass]

That's not true. You don't think the damage can continue? You think we can increase the damage?

[Roan]

The damage will be. I mean, yeah, if we had smoked it in here, it would stink in here for a week.

[Harry]

But we won't be here, though.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Sass]

This is not a. I don't think this is a once the seal's broken type thing. I think that the more you can put it, it can really.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Emanate out there.

[Roan]

There's a pool table right over here. Yeah, there's a pool table right there.

[Sass]

Should we smoke that? Is that the suggestion here?

[Harry]

What are you thinking with the pool table?

[Roan]

And then there's a brick of 20 desks that are dead empty.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Are they empty?

[Harry]

They are.

[Roan]

Look.

[Sass]

Go look. Actually, there's no.

[Harry]

There's no.

[Roan]

No sits there at that by the pool table. That whole swath is dead empty.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's other. There's other people here. There's meeting rooms left and right here.

[Harry]

Yeah, but this is just, you know, this is how it. This is how it should be.

[Roan]

What you should smoke.

[Harry]

You should be able to smoke a cigar inside, you know?

[Sass]

Did you get a haircut?

[Harry]

I did, yeah.

[Sass]

Did you really?

[Harry]

Why are you wearing head in Dallas? I got a haircut.

[Sass]

Oh, nice.

[Harry]

Woke up at like 9am and I was like, I got to get rid of this now.

[Sass]

Wow.

[Roan]

Why?

[Harry]

Went to Great Clips. Great folks over there.

[Roan]

What was the inspiration?

[Sass]

Why are you wearing your sunglasses so high on your head?

[Harry]

I didn't even know I had those on still, to be honest.

[Sass]

Here they come.

[Harry]

Throw them on Rogan.

[Roan]

Yeah. So it doesn't. Auto focus.

[Sass]

Amazing. I can't believe how well that worked. He's here. He's actually here.

[Harry]

It's like he's. He's with us. This is Phenomenal.

[Roan]

Stogan.

[Harry]

Rogan smoked stogies on his show.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Harry]

His people aren't complaining.

[Sass]

I'm fairly sure that if we were making $100 billion a year for Barstool Live event, Lisa would not come in here and be like, come on, guys.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Turn on a fan.

[Harry]

Yeah, probably.

[Roan]

Well, that. That's. That's always been the truth of it, is that we need the booking people. The booking people don't need us.

[Harry]

True, true. Is that true, though?

[Sass]

Do we need.

[Roan]

Yeah, oh, good point.

[Sass]

Do we need.

[Roan]

Oh, good point.

[Sass]

Wow. Yeah, actually.

[Roan]

Good point. Yeah, actually, they do need us.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Rowan, seems like you're coming for blood today. I got a lot of problems with the inner workings of the company.

[Roan]

I am coming for blood.

[Harry]

Get him off your chest.

[Roan]

I am airing of the grievances.

[Harry]

Yeah. Aired out.

[Sass]

Ron woke up and decided he wished he'd had girls. Out of nowhere. Could have been one of each, at least.

[Roan]

No, never that. I was just telling Harry that I tried to go to Diker Heights last night for the Diker lights.

[Harry]

And.

[Roan]

And I was terrified that I was going to get there late because all I see online is I read about people having to walk a mile just to get to them and it being freezing and that there's no parking, and that's a huge headache. So I was like, like, frantically scurrying to get over there. We got in. It was the wrong address that we went to, and I took the first parking spot I saw because I was like, we have to, like, take a parking spot while we have one, while we see one. And as we walk towards where all, like, the lights are, I passed maybe 10,000 parking spots that were open. Everybody had a parking spot open. It infuriate.

[Harry]

Did part of you think about going back, get in the car, like, just throwing on, like, be like, tell the wife and kids, let's stay here. I'll throw on the jets. Get the car.

[Roan]

I thought about it, but it was so slick that I was positive that I'd be. I couldn't, like, run for sure. Eating it would have been devastating.

[Harry]

And did you have those boots on, though? Yeah, but, I mean, those got some good traction to them.

[Roan]

You think so?

[Harry]

Dude, I'll get some spikes in them.

[Sass]

I have. I. You know that. Roan, you'll know this. The. The sort of task of unloading the car after a long road trip or loading the car, taking the heavy bags in from where the car is always falls to the husband. Right?

[Roan]

Of course. Of course.

[Sass]

So I have friends. I have a Friend specifically, who's a pretty meager guy. He's pretty. He's pretty sort of small.

[Roan]

Now Sass is coming for blood. Now Sass wants the blood.

[Sass]

No, not my friend. David Portnoy. He's strong. Yeah, like bull.

[Harry]

I wasn't even referenced. I was referencing the phone call about the cigars.

[Sass]

Oh, I see. I see.

[Roan]

No, you were calling Dave Meager.

[Harry]

No, I was not calling Dave meager and small. I want that on the record.

[Roan]

Read the.

[Harry]

Read the transcript. In a contract year. No, bigger and small.

[Roan]

Dave Portnoy.

[Sass]

No, but I have a buddy and he's married to a woman who has. When they would travel. She'll. She's bringing serious luggage.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And I honestly don't understand how he survives it. I don't know how he is equipped physically to be the husband in that situation. Mm.

[Roan]

Yeah, it's not. You have to train for it.

[Sass]

It's hard. I mean, I think he probably shares the duty. I think she's just as much the mule as he is.

[Harry]

Is with the luggage.

[Sass]

Yeah, man. Have.

[Harry]

Maybe they have someone come in, like, you know, with like. Like where, Like a hotel or. What are we talking here?

[Sass]

Airport. You pull your car up after you're away for just getting in the house. Getting into the house. You have to unload the car.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how small is this man?

[Sass]

Small.

[Harry]

He can't handle, like, just a regular suitcase, probably.

[Sass]

He's probably 5:10, 1:40.

[Harry]

And he's got it.

[Roan]

No, but I mean, got faith in him.

[Sass]

Dude, that's a hot girl. Those are like hot girl dimensions.

[Roan]

Yeah, that's like an athletic. That's like an equestrian.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, but for a guy, those are unconscionable dimensions. Not the best. I mean, no offense to the. Our 5:10 to your boy, 140 listeners out there. He doesn't listen. He's successful.

[Harry]

He's gonna hear it. I mean, you're talking. They're talking a lot of. On him, though. You're saying his wife has to bring in the luggage.

[Roan]

He called her a mule. I mean, but I totally get it. I mean, the. The limit.

[Sass]

Sorry, go ahead, Ron.

[Roan]

No, the limit on. On. On suitcases at the airport is £50, and they're regularly putting 60 in there.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Roan]

So he's. As a 140 guy. Has to be at least a deadlift or a squat. Of.

[Sass]

Of.

[Roan]

Of the. One of the.

[Harry]

Yeah, but if you're 140, you can roll 60 pounds.

[Sass]

That's not. That's not the issue, it's the. All the loose stuff that doesn't roll.

[Harry]

Especially if you have, what, the dumbbells in the back of the car.

[Sass]

You got a baby and. And the wife is pro baby. Right. So then. Then it's. Then he's stuck with bags. Loose bags. Yeah, Shoulder bags. Four shoulder bags. You end up looking like a Christmas tree.

[Harry]

Yeah. But you, you know, like stuff draped over every.

[Sass]

And then you have to go park the car. So you can't really be away that long.

[Harry]

Oh, I guess you're talking in the city. Yeah, that makes sense. I just know when I. When everyone. Whenever I'm bringing in. I'm taking everything in one trip.

[Roan]

No matter what.

[Harry]

No matter what.

[Sass]

Same.

[Harry]

I used to love doing that. My mom would call me down and be like, you gotta get to bring the groceries inside.

[Sass]

You feel like hero.

[Harry]

45 bags at once, dragging them through.

[Sass]

You feel like a God.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Shoulders just rip off your body.

[Harry]

Yeah. And you know, like. I know. I knew, like, my mom was pissed because she was hoping that was going to take me longer to do. Why a chore?

[Sass]

What's she doing? Well, she was waiting for.

[Harry]

Because it's just a chore, you know?

[Roan]

Well, she wants to get him off the sticks for just a second.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Roan]

That's like a sliver of daylight for him. Would probably, like, change his biology.

[Harry]

No, I didn't play as much video games when I was. When I was growing up.

[Roan]

You were sewing.

[Harry]

I was sewing. I was too busy in the knitting and sewing. You were in the knitting circle, flying.

[Sass]

For your Twitter career?

[Harry]

Flying, yes. Traveling quite often to tweet.

[Roan]

You can't tweet it locally, statically, especially when there's the geotag on it. Now you need to have a little bit of variance in your. Yeah.

[Harry]

What is with that new geotag?

[Roan]

I don't know.

[Harry]

I don't with that at all.

[Roan]

Why?

[Harry]

Like, they're like asking me if I want to, like, tag, like, the neighborhood that I'm in, like, where I live.

[Roan]

Everybody knows where you live, dude.

[Sass]

No, Harry, sometimes without realizing it, I sit the exact same way that you do.

[Harry]

Well, it's a pretty common position.

[Sass]

No, it's not that common.

[Harry]

I don't think it's decently common.

[Sass]

Clasping hands around left knee over right knee.

[Roan]

It's a mirroring thing. It's like psychological.

[Sass]

It must be sits if you.

[Roan]

If you mirror how somebody sits.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

That is like a deference.

[Sass]

It's like a yawn when someone else yawns.

[Roan]

It's a Deep contagious.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Crossing the legs is a little contagious.

[Sass]

You're a taste maker here.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

You're a taste maker. I know. You're a trendsetter.

[Roan]

I know. Sometimes I'll catch myself crossing and then I'll conspicuously uncross because I want to make sure that I'm projecting masculine energy and, like, a widespread confidence. I even not. I don't even fold my hands over my lap.

[Harry]

No. No need. Just really want people to know I'm here.

[Roan]

Really.

[Harry]

I'm not going anywhere.

[Sass]

Do you want to show us what you got there? Your presents.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. I mean, this is Daltush. Hooked it up with some scuffs.

[Sass]

This is like when a dog brings you its toys. All the toys from its basket.

[Harry]

I've been. Wait.

[Roan]

Well, this is like when.

[Harry]

Look.

[Sass]

Look at all the things I have.

[Roan]

This is like when a cat brings you.

[Harry]

Like, he sent it to the office. I didn't. I didn't bring it. Wasn't like he sent it to my house and I brought it in.

[Sass]

Like, you're not giving me that. You just want me to know you have it.

[Harry]

I got sent me two, but, I mean, you guys don't really have any use for them.

[Sass]

Is that a good stick there?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Really?

[Roan]

Paddles. Wow.

[Harry]

Mouse click. Mouse click. Triggers.

[Sass]

How much is that?

[Harry]

I'm not sure.

[Sass]

I'm going to have that one. That one's mine.

[Roan]

No, it doesn't have any decent impact shock.

[Sass]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Roan]

Oh, wow.

[Harry]

It really does actually do break very eas. So go easy on it. Give it to me.

[Sass]

Dropping it.

[Harry]

Why are you dropping it on the ground?

[Roan]

To see what kind of shocks it has.

[Harry]

Snap that cigar in half right in front of your face.

[Roan]

Not my 13 cigar.

[Sass]

It really is. Mouse clicks on every button.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Is that something people like?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

You want that? That costs more.

[Harry]

The fastest reaction time.

[Sass]

Fastest reaction.

[Roan]

Fastest reaction or, you know, you're doing it. You don't have to double click.

[Harry]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sass]

Paddles.

[Harry]

Yeah, paddles are on the back.

[Roan]

Give that a drop. It's actually.

[Harry]

Don't drop it.

[Roan]

It's actually a really don't drop, I think.

[Harry]

Yeah, you can drop it on there. I don't care. Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Sass]

Didn't see that coming.

[Harry]

All right, pick it up. Give it back to me.

[Roan]

You could just get it. Just have him joke you another one.

[Harry]

No jokes are over. Let's go. Hand it back. This is crazy to treat. And you said this was your friend.

[Sass]

All I said was that I was friends with him first. And I set up your friendship.

[Harry]

Give it back.

[Sass]

You don't have three of these that I could juggle, do you?

[Harry]

No.

[Roan]

You must juggle it with the pheasant and a stogie roan.

[Sass]

They say, and a lot of people don't know this, that if you don't have a hacky sack.

[Harry]

All right, stop.

[Sass]

Controller is the next best thing.

[Roan]

Yeah, it really is. Kids on the quality at state schools are just kicking around controllers back and forth.

[Harry]

This is. I mean, that was just. I've never seen anything like that.

[Roan]

Did any. Did any harm come.

[Harry]

This show might be coming to an end.

[Roan]

Did any harm come to it?

[Harry]

That just crossed all the lines.

[Roan]

Nothing happened to it.

[Harry]

We'll see when I plug it in.

[Roan]

What do you mean?

[Harry]

It's probably broken already.

[Roan]

How would it be broken?

[Harry]

Because you guys were smashing it around and throwing it and dropping it on the ground.

[Roan]

Isn't that what people do with their controllers when they're frustrated?

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

Maybe when you're six years old.

[Roan]

Dude.

[Sass]

You know. You know when you test a car, right? A new car, you have to run it through a crash test. We're preparing for the worst case scenario. Yeah. Because you're not always just gonna be sweetly tapping away.

[Harry]

You really are, though.

[Sass]

No. Yeah, not you. Not the way I know you.

[Roan]

What if you play on a plane and there's turbulence?

[Harry]

What's going to happen? What would the turbulence do?

[Roan]

Shakes it out of your hand, smacks into a ceiling, Fucking knocks out a flight attendant.

[Harry]

The turbulence runs over that. I have much bigger worries than the state of my controller.

[Roan]

Exactly. And you don't want to have that be the thing that you're fucking stressing out. You should worry about your life. Yeah.

[Sass]

Can you just show us. You don't have to give it to us, but show us what else you got.

[Harry]

It's just another one. It's another one.

[Sass]

Same color scheme, different design.

[Harry]

You know, this one's a little bit different. I think this one is. It might say optic on it. Yeah.

[Roan]

Oh, that's so sick.

[Sass]

Oh, that's dope, dude.

[Harry]

Yeah, this one's sick. I mean, they're both sick. Come here.

[Sass]

Here.

[Harry]

Come in. A million years. Not happening.

[Sass]

That's your favorite one.

[Roan]

Come, come, come, come.

[Harry]

I like them both.

[Roan]

What about that third one over there?

[Harry]

No, that's a case.

[Roan]

Oh, got it.

[Harry]

Was the case for.

[Roan]

And what about those two? Those are the boxes.

[Harry]

Those are the boxes.

[Roan]

And what was in that big box?

[Harry]

That was all of this.

[Roan]

Okay, got it.

[Sass]

It was just two controls in a Box. Yeah.

[Roan]

And a bog down in the valley oh, hey ho.

[Sass]

The box in the box Box in.

[Harry]

The valley it would have been. I, I, I, I didn't know he was going to send me two, you know. What a surprise.

[Roan]

Well, probably one is, one's probably for.

[Harry]

Francis, but Francis doesn't have a console.

[Sass]

Well, there's a reason they call him Dall too.

[Harry]

That's good. That's funny.

[Roan]

God, that's funny. You stepped on the cigar, yo. You're a scumbag.

[Harry]

Oh no.

[Roan]

You're a scumbag. What the hell all this about me?

[Harry]

How did that.

[Roan]

My shoes. Who put this dog here? That's so disrespectful.

[Harry]

I do like how a cigar, you can kind of just peel it back and then you just get the raw.

[Sass]

Yeah, and then you ruin it.

[Harry]

No, you still smoke this?

[Sass]

I mean it starts to. It feels like you're smoking bundles.

[Harry]

Catching up fast.

[Roan]

Have you guys ever been into that cigar store across the street?

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

It feels like you're in like 1940s Cuba in there.

[Sass]

They're not selling the best stuff in there. I don't.

[Roan]

But the guys are. There's like four guys who are working hand, hand rolling like they're factory workers.

[Harry]

I think they're selling the best of the best.

[Roan]

They're like hand rolling it right in front and that. But it's good enough for them because today I watched two guys, one of them had like a short that he was smoking and the other one rolled it up and fucking. I watched him light it up right in front of us. The same stuff they're selling. So it's good enough for them to smoke. Cuban brothers.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What, what, what do you think? Like the, what's the priciest cigar that, that they could buy?

[Roan]

That you could buy over there?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Or period.

[Harry]

Period. I guess.

[Roan]

I mean there's definitely four figure cigars out there.

[Sass]

Oh, more probably. But it's like wine. Yeah.

[Harry]

I think that's just crazy to me.

[Sass]

You get like aged cigars that were limited run. You probably buy cigars that were of the private collection of Fidel Castro.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sass]

Confiscated, you know, in some coup or something like that.

[Harry]

1.4 million. Honestly.

[Roan]

Go r. You just have a house or like 20 minutes of pleasure.

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean that's steep.

[Roan]

One hour pleasure.

[Harry]

That's out of my budget personally.

[Sass]

Some years ago there was a, a collection of wine that had been in casks or something like that. Maybe even glass, big glass bottles that had gone down with a shipwreck to the bottom of the ocean.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And were recovered many, many years later, maybe even decades or hundreds of years later by divers. And then those went to auction and they'd been part of some, you know, King's collection coming over from Spain or something like.

[Harry]

That's pretty sick.

[Sass]

And I think they were the highest sold and they were preserved because the temperature of the ocean had.

[Harry]

I'm sorry, I said they were probably pretty wet.

[Sass]

No, I think they were kept airtight.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You're ready to be a dad.

[Sass]

But there. But there was no way. This is the thing, though, right? You couldn't confirm that the wine hadn't spoiled before you bought it.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sass]

And so the question then becomes, are you going to drink this or are you just going to tell people the story of the algae covered bottle that you've got in your aquarium?

[Harry]

Yeah, right.

[Roan]

Never drink that.

[Sass]

No, I don't think so.

[Roan]

That sounds like absolute trash. Like there's no way that's going to be an enjoyable wine drinking experience.

[Sass]

Oh, and is there any chance that you could look up sort of the real strokes of that story?

[Harry]

I mean, that sounded like more like a tale.

[Sass]

No, that's a true thing.

[Roan]

That's fresh out of Canterbury.

[Sass]

Huh? The wine shipwreck story that sold for how much? Expensive.

[Roan]

Expensive wine shipwreck stories.

[Harry]

Those are going to be your keywords.

[Sass]

Keywords there.

[Harry]

Wine expensive story.

[Sass]

168Bottles found at the bottom of the Baltic Sea with champagne, not wine.

[Harry]

Interesting.

[Sass]

Flat. It's happened a couple times.

[Roan]

At which point they. They might be sinking these cruise ships on purpose.

[Harry]

Yeah. Just to up the value of the champagne.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

Cruise ships do go down more than you think.

[Harry]

I know.

[Roan]

Holy.

[Sass]

Do you guys think. Yeah.

[Harry]

Never think about how much this wine could be worth if we sunk to.

[Roan]

The bottom, if there was a tail. It's like art. It's like an art thief.

[Harry]

Exactly.

[Sass]

It is the deep cold that preserves it. Wow.

[Harry]

That is interesting.

[Sass]

Okay.

[Harry]

I like that.

[Sass]

At least one of my strokes was right.

[Harry]

Yeah, you nailed it. You nailed the deep cold.

[Sass]

Feel pretty good about that.

[Roan]

Old champagne sounds like ass, too, though. I don't know. Unless it's. Unless it's the best of the best champagne. Francis. I'm not enjoying it.

[Sass]

I'm not. I'm not a champagne guy.

[Harry]

What if it's coming from the bottom of the sea? It's been preserved by the cold sea.

[Roan]

I don't know that the deep cold.

[Harry]

There's a company that sub. Oh, my God.

[Roan]

There's a company that submerges. Wine on purpose. And shipwrecks.

[Sass]

Yeah. They're called China. And they use torpedoes.

[Harry]

That's crazy.

[Sass]

In the China Sea.

[Harry]

So it's all a facade. It's all a scam.

[Sass]

I'm sorry.

[Harry]

Lake Erie. That's crazy.

[Roan]

I heard somebody disparaging Lake Erie yesterday, saying it was the fake lake that is like the. The outlier of the. Of the Great Lakes that really like, doesn't have any of the characteristics of the rest of the Great Lakes. It's not nearly as deep. It's not like it's like the outlier. There's like a line of. All the lakes in Canada are on one line because of like, of the glaciers. And for whatever reason, Lake Erie is like the black sheep.

[Sass]

Do you guys have a favorite of the Great Lakes? We were talking about the Great Lakes yesterday.

[Roan]

Michigan.

[Harry]

Yeah, Michigan probably.

[Sass]

I'm gonna go Ontario.

[Roan]

Really?

[Harry]

I don't know if I've ever seen that one.

[Sass]

But we had a camp, a small camp up on. On Lake Ontario when I was a kid. We still do, but we don't go.

[Roan]

A camp? What do you mean? That's like what Bernie Sanders said.

[Sass]

We had.

[Roan]

I keep a small summer camp.

[Sass]

We had no electricity.

[Harry]

Oh, I see.

[Sass]

And like there was an outhouse.

[Harry]

I thought you meant it was like a camp.

[Roan]

Like concentration.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Internment, right? No, for the Japanese. Where you kept Japanese. Just until the war was over. Just to make sure they weren't up to anything.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

That's sick. What, what, what's the characteristics of that lake?

[Sass]

Deep in line with the other lakes up in Canada. I think those are the main things I would say about it.

[Roan]

Huge.

[Sass]

Humongous.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Absolutely enormous. It was great. It was on this. Near this town called Deborah, which was spelled D, E S B E R A T S Des Berat. But you don't pronounce much of it. And then our camp was called Windmill because we had an old abandoned windmill on the. On the island. It was great.

[Harry]

Revamped it.

[Sass]

I used to go when I was a kid. It was amazing.

[Roan]

You guys still own the land? Yeah.

[Harry]

That's cool.

[Sass]

I mean, it's worth $20,000.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It's on land on the lake. I bet it's worth more than that.

[Sass]

I don't think so. Man, you gotta look into flipping that fucking remote or no.

[Roan]

Let's get up there and build on it.

[Harry]

Hell yeah, that's built. Start building some more windmills.

[Sass]

You had to take a flight to Toronto and then you took a puddle jumper to Sault Ste. Marie and then you drove an hour.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Sass]

The Holder's marina, which was going out of business, so we had to like bail, help them stay afloat because there was literally no other way to get to your home if the marina went out.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Sass]

And they're not doing well to marinas. Yeah, I mean, it was like the place in my childhood when we would drive from Maine. It was 22 hours.

[Harry]

Jesus.

[Roan]

Yeah, I feel like it's right there. 22 hours?

[Sass]

Yeah, I mean it's way. It's west of Toronto. So Maine to Toronto is like 16. It is, yeah.

[Harry]

Maine to Toronto.

[Sass]

Yeah, I think so.

[Harry]

I thought that would be like five.

[Sass]

You're thinking Maine to Quebec. Maine to Montreal is not that bad. But Maine is a pretty big state.

[Roan]

Toronto feels like it's right there.

[Sass]

But east coast of Maine to Toronto.

[Roan]

Good.

[Sass]

Was a long way. And then it might have been 12 to Toronto, 10, but then it was another 10 from there to. To the. The Sioux. You want to know how Sioux Saint Marie is spelled?

[Roan]

Tell us.

[Sass]

S A, U, L, T is sue. That's how they pronounce.

[Harry]

Oh, really?

[Roan]

This is absolutely beautiful up here.

[Harry]

Let me see.

[Sass]

Well, yeah, but the lake is nicer. The lake is great.

[Roan]

I mean, we should be summering in Deborah.

[Sass]

We can go up there.

[Harry]

I gotta get out there.

[Sass]

A lot of lake bass. A lot of lake bass.

[Harry]

We could be there by tomorrow.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You think if we chartered a plane for. From Teterboro we could get right there? Gotta be able to, right?

[Sass]

We could. Yeah, we could get to the Sioux direct.

[Roan]

How much do you think that that would cost us? 30 grand.

[Sass]

We're traveling across the Canadian border, 22 hour drive. I don't know. Probably a little more. Probably a little north that maybe. Maybe 50. What about.

[Harry]

What about Aubrey? You think he could let us. He could hook us up.

[Roan]

Bro does owe me a favor.

[Sass]

Ron, is there a world where we could ever tour his plane?

[Roan]

Tour Drake's plane?

[Sass]

Yeah, of course.

[Roan]

Of course. We could probably do it this calendar year.

[Sass]

I don't need to go up in the air. I just want to walk around it.

[Harry]

Sure, I'd rather. I want to tour the house.

[Sass]

I want the plane.

[Roan]

No, let's do that too.

[Harry]

You think these are possibilities?

[Sass]

He parks the plane in the driveway so we can kill two birds with one stone.

[Harry]

Does he have his own? Like his own, you know?

[Roan]

Of course a couple probably has one here, one there, one Turks, one la, one Toronto.

[Harry]

Are you allowed to have your own landing? Like your own landing strip or do you need, like, your own air for traffic control and all that too.

[Roan]

No, you can. I saw a video this weekend of somebody who went to a restaurant in Alaska and then just, like, flew their plane on, like, took off from the highway.

[Sass]

I swear to God, I think I saw that video.

[Harry]

That's insane. Yeah, but is that just like an Alaska thing? Was it like a Cessna? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

But like, John Travolta has his own Runway in his backyard. Really?

[Sass]

But that's in, like, Wyoming. You got to be real remote.

[Harry]

Yeah, like, what if you. What if you had a place like in. In. In Montauk? No, you can't just land a plane.

[Sass]

The bear space is too busy.

[Harry]

Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

[Sass]

You're talking about competing with LaGuardia and JFK.

[Harry]

Yeah, but I would just be like, hey, guys, I'm keeping it low. Don't worry about me.

[Roan]

I was watching a time lapse of Hartsfield down in Atlanta.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Busiest airport in the United States. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Flights are landing.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Unbelievable. Mm.

[Harry]

It's busy as hell out there. What do they call it, the String City?

[Roan]

They do not. No.

[Harry]

There's some weird name for it because of all the highways and stuff.

[Roan]

The. Did you see about that, that mayday on the United flight?

[Harry]

No, I didn't.

[Roan]

They had to immediately turn around. I think they were leaving from, like, D.C. or something.

[Harry]

Why?

[Sass]

Some guy dropped a controller and it bounced all the way, knocked the pilot out unconscious, got stuck under his foot pedal, and plane just immediately went into a nose dive.

[Roan]

Thank God they landed it.

[Harry]

Why? Why did they have to Mayday. And I'm not. I mean, I'm glad to hear that they made it safe. I mean, that's remarkable effort from the United pilots.

[Roan]

Yeah. I didn't even really look into it. I just watched the flight pattern go up and loop. Did he loop?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It was harrowing because they know the.

[Harry]

Delta pilots probably would have been like, let's just go for it. It's.

[Roan]

That would have. Bombs would have never. I mean, well, that's. Obviously, it's a technical issue on the plane, so, like the pre flight maintenance that you. A guy like you would complain about. Oh, it take 15 extra minutes. I'm gonna join Frontier Airlines for the rest of my life. I was like, us like know that that's a necessary evil.

[Sass]

You know, there's a reason they call it loyalty in the airline industry. It means something to people like me and Ron.

[Harry]

Loyalty.

[Roan]

It's nice that there's even just a. A little bit of Cigar in the air.

[Harry]

I know.

[Roan]

I honestly don't mind that, like, light musk of cigar.

[Sass]

I think we had the right amount, the perfect amount.

[Harry]

It was definitely a good idea that I didn't take any from. Stomach is not in a good place.

[Sass]

Yeah, no. What's going on?

[Roan]

This.

[Harry]

Oh, nothing. I was just. I was late because I had to, you know, use the bathroom.

[Roan]

And then you said you were stuck on the toilet.

[Harry]

I was stuck.

[Roan]

Like a William Howard Craft situation.

[Harry]

It was a full. Like, usually you're not stuck. This was. There was no choice.

[Roan]

Yeah, I've been stuck before.

[Harry]

Yeah. There was. There was zero chance I was getting up.

[Roan]

It's nasty to get stuck. I'm not done. My body's telling me I'm not done.

[Harry]

And that was around 1.

[Roan]

There's more work to do.

[Harry]

There's plenty of.

[Roan]

Until the job's done.

[Harry]

Yeah. One hit of that cigar, I would have been going straight to the bathroom.

[Sass]

Of course.

[Roan]

If you're inhaling.

[Harry]

When this comes out, will the steak thing have been out yet?

[Roan]

No, this is coming out on Thursday.

[Harry]

And stay comes out next Thursday.

[Roan]

It's coming out next week.

[Harry]

Okay.

[Roan]

Next Thursday. Is next Thursday Christmas.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

We're not gonna put that out on Christmas.

[Sass]

I'm gonna be in a lodge in Fjordland. Fjordland near Teano with.

[Roan]

That sounded like five different languages. Teano sounds Spanish.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Fjordland sounds Icelandic. And you're gonna be in New Zealand.

[Sass]

Yeah. And I'll be, you know, eating alone on Christmas day. And they. I said, can I get a fly fishing guide for the day? And they said, our guides. We give our guides the day of Christmas off.

[Roan]

Did you make a stink? I would have made a stink.

[Sass]

And I was like, oh, yeah, that's right. They do have families that they'll be.

[Harry]

There's got to be one. There's got to be. There's got to be a couple. There's got to be a group of dudes in New Zealand who aren't doing shit on Christmas looking to go.

[Sass]

If there's a guide in the Fjordland region of New Zealand, two hours south of Queenstown, who wants to take me fishing around there? I would love to do that.

[Roan]

What about just companionship? Like, what if someone will welcome you for, like, a Christmas roast or something?

[Sass]

I'm gonna need someone to bring me into their family because I'm going to in tears, in homesickness and loneliness.

[Roan]

Take a picture of yourself when you cry.

[Sass]

I'm gonna call my family at, like, in a tent. 11pm on Christmas Day. And they will just be getting up to unwrap presents.

[Roan]

Brutal.

[Sass]

Think about that.

[Harry]

On the bright side, you're gonna sleep through most of it, you know?

[Sass]

What do you mean?

[Harry]

Once they get their festivities going, you'll be asleep.

[Roan]

Yeah, but he's gonna experience Christmas almost a day before us.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So like it's going to be Christmas Eve for all of us and he's just going to have this lonely Christmas hanging over him like this. Sword of Damocles.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Just so fucking.

[Harry]

I mean, you're going to be in New Zealand. It's going to be pretty sick, you know.

[Roan]

But it's going to be Christmas and it's like still Christmas, no matter.

[Sass]

That's the one day that's going to be hard. I'm not worried about New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.

[Roan]

If there's any cunts down in New Zealand that would take in Francis.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

If there's any suit dick comes down there that would take in. When I was on the roan.com stream last week, someone ran up and he's like, oh, I mean, I'm on holiday from Australia. I've been looking for you all over. I've been looking for Francis and Sass the entire time he's been looking for you guys. So there is. There are cunts down there that are like on board with what we're doing.

[Harry]

Aussies.

[Sass]

There are a few Aussies.

[Roan]

Kiwis.

[Sass]

Like I'm playing Jack's Point on. I think it's December 27th and I have the tee time all to myself. If anyone was a comedy club to join me for a round of golf, I would prefer if you were a single digit handicap. I don't want to fuck around with hackers anymore. I'm too old for that.

[Harry]

Hackers, like they like dudes who are really good, bad or bad. Yeah, yeah. Makes sense.

[Sass]

I'm only kidding. I'll play with anyone. But yeah, that's December 27th. I think I have like a 10:30am T time at Jack's Point Point, which.

[Roan]

Will be about 10pm the day before here.

[Harry]

Yeah, I think you're gonna. I think you're gonna end up linking up with some bros and, you know, just having a traditional Aussie Christmas or not Aussie, I guess. New Zealand, Kiwi Christmas.

[Sass]

Kiwi Christmas has a nicer ring to it.

[Roan]

Yeah. And what's the weather gonna be like again? Did you, did you check the weather?

[Sass]

It's perfect. I think it's gonna be 70 every day.

[Harry]

Oh wow. It's Pretty ideal. Yeah, that's pretty ideal.

[Roan]

There's. I remember a textbook when I was in like fourth grade and there was a picture of some Aussies celebrating Christmas with a Christmas tree on the beach. And it just always just. It was just like a fantasy of mine to be able to experience that. And you're going to be living that.

[Sass]

Are you sure you're not thinking of a Corona ad?

[Roan]

Maybe I'm thinking of the Corona ad that plays every year. That is a great ad. They don't need to. Yeah, they don't need to do anything to change that.

[Sass]

So good.

[Roan]

That's great. That and the lottery. The lottery ad.

[Harry]

All righty. Let's talk about Lucy. Lucy is the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports. Lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise. Each pouch pulls holds a hydrating capsule that you crack with your teeth for an instant burst of long lasting flavor. Lucy is in stores nationwide. Now you can find a realtor near you at Lucy Co stores or get Lucy delivered to you ASAP on apps like DoorDash and Gopu. Did you guys know about this?

[Roan]

What? That you can get Lucy right to your door.

[Harry]

I'm getting Lucy right to my door.

[Roan]

I don't even think I knew that.

[Harry]

Pretty sick.

[Sass]

I'm loving your Lucy love.

[Harry]

Oh yeah, it's big Lucy guy.

[Roan]

It's the best.

[Sass]

Yeah, Lucy goosey over here.

[Harry]

And you can always. You can and you can always set it and for. Oh, here we go. Sorry, my bad. And you can always set it and forget it with monthly subscription delivered to your door from Lucy Co. Interesting. Lucy is the only pouch that delivers long lasting on demand flavor. Find a store at Lucy Co stores or get it shipped with 20% off your first order at Lucy Co Boydad using code Boydad. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every customer is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is addictive chemical.

[Roan]

Okay guys, let's take a second and talk about our good friends over at game time. The NFL is in full swing. Tailgates pack stands the buzz before kickoff. But getting in, it's a nightmare. Queues, price jumps, getting logged out mid click. All you want is to be there. Beer in hand, losing your voice with the crowd. Now the game time app gives the advantage back to the fans. It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps. It incredibly is very easy to use. And the Game time guarantee means that you can trust that you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and for the best price. Plus fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. Eagles pretty close to clinching a playoff game. They most likely will be at home. They will be at home because they're going to win their division.

[Harry]

We'll see.

[Roan]

I mean, they're going to win their division and I love to get in there game time, get a deal for some great seats. I mean, whatever the price, even if it's, even if we're spending the thousand plus on World cup tickets tickets, it's going to be worth it because of how much fun you're going to have. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with Game Time Download the Game Time app, create an account and use code boydad for $20 off your first purchase terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code B o y d a d for $20 off. Download the game Time app Today folks.

[Sass]

Son of a boy dad is brought to you by Aura Frames. Okay, if you have not finished your Christmas shopping or holiday shopping for those loved ones in your life, first of all, shame on you you because it is coming down to the wire. Luckily, speaking of wires, we have the perfect gift for you and that is an aura frame. It's the best way to spread holiday cheer. Gift an aura frame and keep your family near. We talked about our holiday traditions on this episode and if you've got photos of it, whether it's, you know, putting a red bow around that Labrador dog's neck with a bell or something, or matching fun pajamas for your twin boys or going to the beach or you know, stepping outside with a beloved uncle to smoke. Never mind. Yeah, you can take pictures of that and you can have that on your Aura frame or as unlimited free photos and videos. Just download the Aura app and connect to Wi fi. Share photos and videos effortlessly straight from your phone all year long. Personalize your gift. Add a message before it arrives. You can't wrap togetherness, but you can frame it okay for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get 35 off or's best selling Carver mat frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Boydad at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code code boydad. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply.

[Harry]

Alrighty, let's talk about simply safe. If you could stop somebody from breaking in before they got inside, why wouldn't you? Most old school systems go off after someone's already in your place. That's too late. Simplisafe is different. It's proactive with a double layer of defense that stops crimes before they start. First, AI powered cameras spot potential threats outside. Then live agents step in talking to the person through the camera, letting them know they're on video and police will be dispatched if they don't leave. They can even trigger a loud siren or a spotlight. That's how you help stop a crime before it starts. There are no long term contracts or hidden fees you can cancel at any time. Named best home security system by U.S. news and World Report for five years running. 60 day money back guarantee. So you can try it and see if the difference and see the difference for yourself. This month only take 50% off any new system. This is one of the best prices you will ever see for Simplisafe. Don't miss it. Hit simplisafe.com sun that's simplisafe.com sun and lock in your discount. There's no safe like Simplisafe. You guys got Christmas trees in your apartment?

[Roan]

Fuck yeah. I've had it up for a fucking month.

[Harry]

Do you got you? Do you have like an actual tree?

[Sass]

Dude, no joke. When you. I occasionally I'll take an Uber home across the Manhattan Bridge. Yeah, I can see his apartment.

[Harry]

Oh, I'm not surprised.

[Sass]

And I can see the Christmas tree.

[Harry]

Of course.

[Sass]

And it just reminds me that he has his life going. Well.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sass]

And I'm going to a sterile, white. No, humorless.

[Roan]

You have an Eames chair. I don't want to hear it. You have an ergonomically perfect upstate.

[Sass]

My apartment in New York is just a fucking padded room.

[Harry]

You got the, the 40 foot. You got the one that they got at downtown.

[Sass]

Rockefeller. Yeah.

[Harry]

Rockefeller tree in your apartment.

[Roan]

Yeah. I had to talk to my upstairs neighbor to see through, to just pop up. Yeah.

[Harry]

How did you guys like decorate it and stuff?

[Roan]

It's been decorated.

[Harry]

What do you do? White lights or colorful lights? Definitely white lights.

[Roan]

White lights. Yeah. Colorful lights is awesome.

[Harry]

You're just afraid to admit it.

[Roan]

I don't know.

[Sass]

I'm, I'm with Harry on this one. I, I.

[Harry]

White lights. It's a girl move. I hate to be that guy.

[Roan]

Well, who do you think?

[Harry]

I know, I know, but I know, I know. You probably didn't you weren't in control there. I'm just saying, if it's up to me, it's. We're going all the colors.

[Sass]

What about blinking lights?

[Harry]

Everything.

[Sass]

Oh, you.

[Harry]

I want all the gadgets.

[Sass]

You want to be that guy?

[Roan]

You're gonna go to Dike of Lights. Dike of Lights would have been incredible. I think the colorful lights. I don't know. My grandma used to do it, but it.

[Harry]

You don't like them?

[Roan]

It's kind of poor.

[Sass]

I like. I like them.

[Harry]

What? That's crazy.

[Roan]

It's kind of classless.

[Harry]

I love the colorful lights.

[Sass]

It's kind of like, unfortunately, we can only afford color in this house.

[Roan]

It's kind of like. Like you're gonna. You're gonna have a blowout fight with your, like, grandfather on Christmas if you have colorful lights.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, the white lights just like you're at Macy's.

[Roan]

No, the white lights are clean and classy.

[Harry]

My eyes hurt. Can we turn them off?

[Roan]

The colorful lights is like, you're, like, hiding, like, the mouse droppings. Like, oh, we don't want it too bright in here. We don't want to see everything that's going on. Just like, have a weird police station vibe to them.

[Harry]

I love them. I. The.

[Sass]

The.

[Harry]

They remind me of like. Like old, like, Christmas movies and stuff.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

The. The white ones. It's. That's Tesla. You got the. You got the open AI lights.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Are clean.

[Harry]

You got the Sam Altman lights. And now you can control them from your phone.

[Sass]

It.

[Roan]

Just think about it. Just draw your hand down your temple and they dim the diker light. Slice. Are insane.

[Harry]

Yeah. What do they look like?

[Roan]

I mean, the people. The. Like, every house has, like, tightly wrapped it. Like, it must take, like, days just to wrap the. Some of the trees that they have outside. It's.

[Harry]

What do you.

[Roan]

Like, look at this. Look at this.

[Harry]

That is crazy.

[Roan]

And this is. Every house in the neighborhood has this. It's like. It's pyrotechnic level light shows. No, it's in Brooklyn.

[Sass]

Oh. Because it looks like Staten Island.

[Roan]

It's the same. Same vibe.

[Sass]

Yeah. Same type of people.

[Harry]

That's insane.

[Roan]

Still got the Curtis Sliwa signs up.

[Sass]

Out there.

[Roan]

Still what time it is. Look at this shit.

[Harry]

That's sick.

[Roan]

They're saying you have to.

[Harry]

I might have to get out there.

[Roan]

You really should, dude. Yeah, look at that. Dude.

[Harry]

Get out to see the dyke lights.

[Roan]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Harry]

Isn't that what they're called?

[Roan]

They'll beat your ass if you even use that word around there.

[Harry]

What were the. What was the word that you were using?

[Roan]

Diker. Diker Heights.

[Harry]

Oh, I thought you were saying the Dyke Lights.

[Roan]

Why would I say that?

[Sass]

Diker Heights is the. The rim height in the WN. Says four inches lower than the NBA height.

[Harry]

Oh, man, that's funny.

[Roan]

They should.

[Sass]

Yeah, they should. More dunking.

[Harry]

You think that'll ever be a thing? That they'll let the girls dunk? Why wouldn't they?

[Sass]

They let the girls dunk.

[Harry]

Yeah, but I mean, they can't.

[Sass]

Some can, not all. And the ones that can. I'll say this. That's fucking impressive.

[Harry]

They lay it down.

[Sass]

Yeah. I mean, I want to see. It's one thing when. What's it with a girl from, like, who got detained in Russia, does it.

[Roan]

Where you're like, yeah, you have Marfan syndrome.

[Sass]

Yeah, what's going on? But then when there's, you know, the six. One girl from that played at Kentucky was doing it.

[Harry]

Six one girls dunking.

[Sass]

Yeah, man, that's what I'm saying. That's elite.

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean, that is elite. That's crazy. It's big hops.

[Sass]

I think again, I'm throwing that number. It was the girl that played at Kentucky who was like, really, really good.

[Roan]

I want to see the girl. Audi. Crook stunk. You know who I'm talking about? She plays at Iowa State.

[Harry]

I'm not a pervert.

[Roan]

She's a big girl.

[Harry]

Oh, really?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah, I want to see her. Her.

[Sass]

She's like averaging 34 points a game right now.

[Harry]

Really?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That's sick.

[Roan]

She. You can't get around her.

[Harry]

What happened to Caitlin Clark?

[Sass]

Is.

[Harry]

She just.

[Roan]

She got her.

[Harry]

She got injured.

[Roan]

Yeah, she just.

[Harry]

Remember Paige came in? Yeah, Paige, she's running the show.

[Roan]

Caitlin Clark, I think, made $19 million in endorsements this year.

[Harry]

It's not bad.

[Roan]

And like $180,000 playing basketball.

[Harry]

Yeah, I know. It's.

[Roan]

If we're talking ups, I saw a harrowing stat this week that the long jump record on a pogo stick is shorter than the long junk jump record without a pogo.

[Sass]

No way. That's crazy.

[Roan]

That's like 20 long jumps. 29ft might be the long jump record.

[Sass]

It's insane.

[Harry]

People get up, get out there.

[Sass]

They get out there. Yeah.

[Harry]

It's not up. I don't want to say up because they're never really that high off the ground.

[Sass]

They're higher than you're more so just.

[Harry]

Traveling through the air.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Rapid fat.

[Roan]

They should be investigated. Honestly, like what? The fact that someone can do that is one of the greatest. No.

[Harry]

Oh, I. I tried it a couple times. I got like a foot. It was like one of those things where you. You're expecting to soar and then you do it and you're like, whoa. That was, like, really embarrassing. Well, you gotta think that's how far I can jump.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I was, like, taking a step forward.

[Sass]

It's. It's about how fast they run. Yeah, Right. They're flying, coming into that thing, and.

[Roan]

There'S got to be a lot of, like, muscle control in the air of just, like, what they're doing here. And then, like, when they're throwing their feet forward and, like, how they're landing.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It's all that technique.

[Roan]

Technique is crazy.

[Sass]

It is amazing to me that they are constantly shuffling in and shuffling out Olympic events, you know, to keep spicing things up and keep it fresh. And it's like. Like they'll never touch the long jump.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And you're like, really? Yeah.

[Harry]

I mean, that feels like a pretty easy one to just follow.

[Sass]

How about the hammer throw? Come on.

[Roan]

You wait. You want to get the long jump out of here?

[Sass]

Kinda.

[Roan]

Oh.

[Harry]

Long jump, I think, is one of.

[Roan]

The most phenomenal, like, feats of pure classical strength. Hammer throw. I could hammer throw, discus, javelin, like these are medieval fighting techniques.

[Sass]

Just bring all those people into one thing and then they can throw whatever they want.

[Harry]

Free throw, free throw.

[Sass]

Same weight for each, but, you know, throw whatever you want. You can throw a fridge. And the long jump, to me, though, yeah, it's, you know, long jump, high jump.

[Roan]

Pole vaults are staples for me.

[Harry]

Yeah, High jump is sick.

[Roan]

That's. Those go hand in hand with 100 meter, 200 meter, 400.

[Sass]

Well, the Swedish guy made the pole vault cool again.

[Harry]

Yeah. With this penis.

[Sass]

Super hot girlfriend.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Is that his name, Mondo Duplantis or something?

[Harry]

I have no idea.

[Roan]

Are you guys talking about for sure the same person? I'm talking about the dude who I'm remembering a penis.

[Sass]

That's a different guy.

[Roan]

Yeah, that's a different fellow. Oh, but he made it cool, too.

[Harry]

Yeah, I thought he was definitely the one that made it cool.

[Roan]

They both made it cool in their own, like, kind of.

[Harry]

He jumped over and his dick knocked the bar down.

[Sass]

Well, yeah, his foreskin hooked on the top of the bar.

[Harry]

He was swinging and suctioned, and he.

[Sass]

Was up there like a. Like a bullied child given a wedgie.

[Roan]

The top of the light pole.

[Harry]

We didn't. We never had The. We didn't have pole vaults at our high school, but apparently there are high schools that do have it, which is shocking to me.

[Sass]

Yeah, we had that.

[Harry]

That feels like if I was superintendent, that's the first thing that's going. I don't need a kid fucking falling 80ft from the sky in gym class on his stick. Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Getting impaled on his stick.

[Harry]

He's sliding down the stick.

[Sass]

Did you ever. Did you ever go out to the track? Did you guys have. You must have had a nice track at your school. And field, right?

[Harry]

We just had a track around a field. Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Was it a turf?

[Harry]

I was. I threw jav.

[Sass]

You did?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yes.

[Sass]

Cool.

[Harry]

Yeah. How do you not.

[Roan]

We've talked about this.

[Sass]

No, I remember you like one of my things.

[Harry]

It's his little varsity jav. It's just, you know, a 380 yards.

[Sass]

You say that and then I say you're a great athlete, and then you start walking it back.

[Harry]

No, I'm kidding. Because I. We did the last time we talked about this, I said I threw it 80 yards. Then we looked it up and it was like 40ft. I like, found the. I found it because it's all recorded.

[Sass]

There was a write up.

[Harry]

It's like 40ft. And I was.

[Roan]

Shortest javelin throw.

[Sass]

Yeah. Before that throw, you were just sass. And then you became lil sass.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I mean, you could drop a javelin.

[Sass]

Little jab.

[Harry]

Jab sucks, though. Jab. Get jab out of the Olympics. Shot put, mid disc, S tier.

[Roan]

You think so? Disc.

[Harry]

Have you ever watched someone throw, like. We had one kid who was on the football team. He would do the full spin around.

[Roan]

He.

[Harry]

He would, like, bring his own discs from home companies. Like, he's like polishing them off and then he just launches it. Like, it like, like, like the length of like a home run.

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

Soaring through the sky.

[Sass]

Wow.

[Harry]

He would win every single match. Every single meet.

[Roan]

Doesn't. Didn't like, Brock Lesnar's daughter do that or something like that?

[Harry]

I have no clue.

[Roan]

Or maybe she was throwing the.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Or she was throwing the. The shot put. Maybe it's like a big, strong girl sport.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Roan]

Old girl from there.

[Harry]

Shot put. I just don't like that.

[Roan]

That you don't like the motion.

[Harry]

I don't like the motion. And then I feel like if you don't. If you've never held the shot put, it's not really that entertaining to watch because you don't understand how heavy it is.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Like, if you're like, I'm just thinking viewership for the Olympics here.

[Sass]

That's what I was thinking.

[Harry]

Yeah, I know. I'm on the same page, but if, like, if you're an app, if you're just, like, a random person and you throw on and you've never. You never watched shot put, you never held a shot, you never held one of the balls you toss it on, you're gonna be like, that, dude, just threw that 10ft.

[Roan]

I think they should just do the Summer Olympic twice and just get rid of the Olympic. The winter shit.

[Harry]

See, I don't agree with that at all.

[Sass]

By the way, did you guys hear about the. The World Cup? There's going to be a gay pride game.

[Harry]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Sass]

And the two teams that are playing each other for the gay pride game are Egypt and Iran.

[Harry]

No.

[Roan]

Good. God.

[Harry]

That feels like. That might start, like, a war.

[Sass]

There's a gay pride honorary match, and the randomly selected teams are Egypt versus Iran.

[Roan]

Why would they randomly select?

[Harry]

Crazy.

[Roan]

Just pick some countries that are cool.

[Harry]

It should just be, like, the United States and Canada.

[Roan]

What the. Yeah, Egypt and Iran.

[Harry]

That is bad news.

[Roan]

They're just going to. The players are just going to, like, hop the fence and start, like, fighting the fans.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Should we go? Where is it?

[Sass]

I don't know. But, dude, the final's going to be at MetLife.

[Harry]

I know. It's going to be, like, $10,000 tickets.

[Sass]

Not on game time.

[Harry]

We use game time.

[Sass]

I already checked.

[Harry]

How much?

[Sass]

There were some good ones that were 16,000.

[Harry]

Per.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

For a group. What are we talking here?

[Roan]

Per 16,000.

[Harry]

I can't swing that. Can't swing that. For my first ever soccer game, I.

[Roan]

Just bought a cigar, so.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah, true.

[Roan]

I can only have one.

[Sass]

It would be fun to go. I would like to go to the World Cup. Yeah, let's go to the World Cup. Same with game time.

[Roan]

I'll go to the gay. I'll go to the gay game.

[Harry]

I would go to the gay game. Is that in New York?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Harry]

Probably not.

[Sass]

Probably San Francisco. Do you think that. Seattle, actually.

[Roan]

That makes sense. It's the new San Francisco, though. Yeah, that would be great. I would like to go to a game, though. That's just. Guys. Maybe we tailgate a little bit, but I'm afraid I wouldn't get it. I'm honestly more interested in going to a, like, British game. Like, club sides and like that.

[Sass]

Yeah, like. Oh, yeah. Well, right. I've been to two of. I've been to yeah. Two Premier league games.

[Harry]

What'd you say? You like good or what?

[Roan]

Like a British game, Premier League where there's like this clubs and like the sides like care about it. Not like people like.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

I think like a British guy cares more about Everton if they're Everton supporter than they do about the British national team.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

I think that the British get into it for the net for the. Because they're. They've been knocking at the door lately. England. Yeah. They're. They've got a good team.

[Harry]

Yeah. I would love to go to a soccer game. I want to go to a rowdy one. Want like. Like what you're saying? Like I want it to be.

[Sass]

Let's go to England. Let's go to England against a country that it colonized. So that's the. Where you really find.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

India or something.

[Sass]

Yeah. England versus Argentina would be ideal.

[Harry]

That would be.

[Sass]

But that's.

[Harry]

But Argentina would probably smoke them, right?

[Sass]

No, England. England's been really elite lately.

[Harry]

I thought Argentina was like the team.

[Sass]

They won the last World cup, obviously. But you never know. True, true.

[Roan]

Make your guys make your pick. Right now, who do you guys think?

[Harry]

England or Argentina in this match that doesn't exist.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I got France my buddy was telling me about. He's working at a construction site that's a dump.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

In on the Schuylkill River. And the guy who runs the dump said that inside the dump dump there's. There's a huge pile of condoms. Somehow what I was like. And they're like positive of this that there's like one part of the dump is all condoms. And I'm confused. I was too.

[Harry]

He works at an actual dump.

[Roan]

Should I read exactly.

[Sass]

Yeah. They're on the construction site he's working on. There is a. A human defecate.

[Harry]

Or is it. He works at dump. Dump site. Did you guys.

[Roan]

I'm working at this enormous warehouse right now that's going to be an Amazon data center. And there's a landfill right next door. So there's all these trash seagulls that. That work there. And I was chatting with a guy who works the gate and he informed me that there's a condom pile in there so tall it would blow your mind.

[Sass]

We're talking used condoms.

[Roan]

I'm pretty sure it must be right and must be.

[Harry]

Do they have to like separate it for some reason from the other trash?

[Roan]

Maybe. And he said that the. The seagulls love it. That it's like their delicacy that the seagulls are Just going to town on the condom pile. That's.

[Harry]

Tell us a photo of the condom pile.

[Sass]

Did I tell you guys this? I. I was at the station. No, I did. Wait. I had no Christmas tree this year. Put col. Colorful lights are on my condom. Or I was at Penn Station, and I was getting on the a. Like the A train or the ce. So I walked up from Penn Station through the subway tunnel, and as I was coming up the steps to the subway platform, I saw draped so neatly across the step, a used condo. Them in the Penn Station subway station. And it occurred to me, I was like, who. Who had sex on these steps and had not only had sex on these steps, but had protected sex.

[Harry]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Sass]

On these steps where they were like, listen, I'm sorry, but I don't know where you've been.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

Like, I.

[Sass]

You know, who would be so dirty and desperate in that situation as to need to bone in the subway steps?

[Roan]

And even the fact that they're laying it out like that makes it seem like they're drying it out for future use. Could be they're, like, hanging it, like, on a clothesline in the end.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Just airing out my Jimmy.

[Sass]

It looked like the wind sock. That tells you how to land the helicopter.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Small airport people are definitely in Penn Station, though.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

But of course.

[Sass]

I agree. But it's like they're practicing safe sex.

[Harry]

Yeah. That's insane.

[Sass]

As the E train rumbles through, safe.

[Roan]

Sex for them might be way more important.

[Harry]

It might be.

[Sass]

You know what? You're not wrong, and I advocate for it, but for.

[Roan]

It might be life and death for them.

[Sass]

It's amazing to me. Yeah.

[Roan]

Because they don't. They don't have TVs to see the prep commercials or anything like that. They don't know that, like, AIDS has basically been beaten.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

They've been underground since 96.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's. I. I honestly haven't been in the actual Penn Station in a while because now every time I go there, I go to the Moynihan.

[Sass]

Moynihan's the best.

[Harry]

Moynihan's good. I just don't know how they've been able to keep it under such control while Penn Station runs rampant.

[Roan]

I think that's why. I think it's Penn State Amsterdam, and it's like a free injection site. And Moynihan is, like, where the bourgeoisie go. And.

[Harry]

But don't you think if you were on. If you were like, if I'm. If I'm homeless and I'm at Penn. I'm going to Moynihan. Like, Avi. Like, that's the first place I'm going.

[Roan]

Yeah. And it's probably like the Italian snipers from, like, the.

[Harry]

Yeah. You think that's what it is?

[Roan]

Bosnian war. Just like, sitting up top with, like.

[Sass]

Yeah. Why. Why would you. Why would you need to go to Moynihan?

[Harry]

It's like. It's like a. You're. It's like your apartment just got renovated overnight.

[Sass]

Yeah, but.

[Roan]

But you stick out like a sore thumb.

[Sass]

People are resistant to change.

[Harry]

True, true.

[Sass]

Lights are brighter there.

[Roan]

You know, you can't be freely homeless in. In one circumstances.

[Sass]

The pigeons don't taste as good in Moynihan.

[Harry]

Yeah. Moynihan is a little bit.

[Roan]

A little too sanitary.

[Harry]

Yeah. Little too bright. I think that's. I think you nailed it with the brightness.

[Sass]

It feels like the Lou.

[Harry]

Yeah, it does.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

There's no come tower. There's no power out there. That being said, though, if. If, like. I'm trying to think how to say this.

[Sass]

If.

[Roan]

If come was already an accepted food of, like, animals or something like that, people would be treating it like a delicacy.

[Harry]

I've already. I've heard enough of this conversation.

[Roan]

You know that women put salmon sperm is, like, a very accepted, like, facial technique now?

[Sass]

I have heard that. Yeah.

[Harry]

Salmon sperm.

[Roan]

Yes.

[Harry]

No, I haven't heard that. I didn't know salmon.

[Roan]

It's like. It's very. It's like a very accepted, like, technique.

[Harry]

Interesting. Of like, I haven't heard. I haven't seen nor heard anyone do it. So how can it. How accepted can it be?

[Roan]

Let me look at it up.

[Harry]

There's a lot of people doing it.

[Roan]

Everybody's doing it.

[Harry]

Like, if. Like, if, like, you go home for the holidays, like, you're like, multiple members of your family will have. Go to your salmon.

[Roan]

Ask your sewing circle when you get home.

[Harry]

I'll ask my sewing circle. I'll say, when was the last time you guys had salmon sperm on your.

[Roan]

Imagine the life of the salmon that are getting farmed for their sperm.

[Harry]

I know, right? Just a confusing existence.

[Roan]

Just getting mercilessly beat off at the salmon farm. But they have to keep you alive.

[Harry]

I know. It's brutal.

[Roan]

Lurched over. Or maybe it's awesome.

[Harry]

I gotta get. I gotta get. I gotta go fishing.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I'm jonesing to get out on the water.

[Sass]

She's coming to New Zealand with me.

[Harry]

I can't believe you're gonna go fishing and you're gonna Catch insanely big fish.

[Sass]

I wonder. I don't. There's a chance I don't catch a single fish.

[Harry]

If you go with a God you will catch a fish.

[Sass]

I hope so. But they say that we have to stalk one fish over the course of a mile.

[Roan]

That'll be awesome too though.

[Sass]

I'll be happy to hike and walk and be active in that way.

[Harry]

It's gonna be like you're gonna be walking through a river with nobody else on it and it's gonna be like the greatest view you've ever seen in your entire lifetime.

[Sass]

I agree.

[Harry]

And you're gonna be so focused on just trying to find the one fish that like nothing else will even exist.

[Roan]

And the fish will probably have never seen a human before.

[Sass]

Exactly.

[Roan]

Like come up.

[Harry]

You can just like put your hand out. Just pick it up out of the water.

[Sass]

I think that because one none of the fish are stocked. They're all wild. Right. So that plus the fact that the water is so clear.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

When they see you they get the out of there.

[Harry]

Yeah. Well some clouds would be. Would be nice.

[Roan]

Are there bears out there or what's like the natural like predator.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

What is fish or like what would be a scary thing to run into and get?

[Harry]

Spiders.

[Roan]

Definitely huge spiders.

[Harry]

Big ass spiders.

[Sass]

I don't know but are the spiders eating the fish?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

No, that's how big they are.

[Roan]

They're not. I think that in.

[Harry]

They're huge in New Zealand. They're like dogs.

[Sass]

They're throwing the web into the. They're casting. The spiders are casting.

[Roan]

When they.

[Harry]

Spiders from Minecraft when Australia was first.

[Roan]

Settled I think that there were like 10 foot tall sloths there. Really? Yeah.

[Harry]

That would be that they should still have that. I wish those still existed.

[Roan]

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that was probably the first thing they killed.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

We're gonna have to get rid of these.

[Harry]

Imagine just like a ten foot sloth just chilling on the couch.

[Roan]

How crazy would that be?

[Harry]

You have it as a pet.

[Sass]

Big sasquatch.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Probably like you could probably teach a sloth some English.

[Sass]

Harry, tell us about your Christmas traditions in your family. Can you just tell us what it's like when you wake up on Christmas day? First of all, are you going to honor your by waking up at a decent hour?

[Harry]

Of course I'm going to honor my family by waking up what is now for you? Christmas will wake up early. I mean my. We probably won't wake up. We. When I was like younger we used to wake up at like 6am and honestly, that probably went on a little longer than I would like to admit. And then I think in the last couple of years, we started waking up at like, what? Just whenever everyone wakes up. So like 9, 10, 10.

[Sass]

Occasionally you'll sleep till 10 on Christmas Day?

[Harry]

No, no.

[Roan]

They're all waiting for him to get up.

[Sass]

Absolutely.

[Harry]

Oh, no, no, not me.

[Roan]

Well, I never. Never. You.

[Harry]

I'm up when I go home, it's a lot harder to like, stay up late and sleep in. Like, it's not. I kind of get on like a normal. I mean, I'm on a normal sleep schedule now, but. Yeah, I mean, I went to bed at like 12:30 last night and woke up at 9.

[Sass]

What, you always gotta shade that by two hours? Yeah, he gives us his sleep times in Mountain time time.

[Roan]

Like. Or like he's like reporting it to a doctor of like, how many she drinks.

[Sass]

You have to convert Harry's times from Mountain time to Eastern standard time.

[Harry]

You're not wrong. I am on. I'm on Central time, though. I don't. I don't live on Eastern time. I live on Central.

[Roan]

Yeah. Respect.

[Sass]

God damn. Do we know you well?

[Harry]

I mean, everyone I know is on. Like, not everyone I know, but like, if I'm. If I'm playing video game. Everyone I'm playing video games games with is on there earlier than me. So I'm the one that's got to make the sacrifice to stay up a little later.

[Sass]

Oh, your friends? Yeah, because they're in Chicago.

[Harry]

They're all, well, MOOCs in Chicago. Matt's in Denver in Telluride and playing. Been playing a lot with Jerry lately.

[Roan]

Is that you name the team after where Matt lives? Yeah, that's fucking gay.

[Sass]

Bo's. And Bo's in Maine, though. Bo's on your time.

[Harry]

Well, we did it because they had. Have t. The teams have a location. There's like optics.

[Roan]

Yeah, but your team's not there.

[Harry]

One of our. One of our founders is.

[Roan]

Matt's not a. Matt's a founder.

[Harry]

Of course.

[Sass]

How.

[Roan]

What involvement has he had with Telluride? Bush?

[Harry]

He made the logo, bro.

[Roan]

He put it in.

[Harry]

AI, no, he designed it himself.

[Roan]

That's. This is.

[Harry]

He's a great artist.

[Roan]

Artist.

[Harry]

Genuinely.

[Roan]

I don't doubt that, but I just don't like, this is the first anyone's ever. Does, like, Jerry or Mook know that Matt is one of the.

[Harry]

Like me, Matt, Jerry and Mook played video games the last two nights.

[Roan]

That's insane.

[Harry]

Matt is on some of the meetings with us.

[Roan]

He Is saying what?

[Harry]

We're getting Bo involved, too.

[Roan]

What's Matt saying in the meetings?

[Harry]

Well, he's just. He's a talent scout.

[Roan]

Well, you need it now.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

What was I gonna say? Christmas?

[Roan]

Please, a little bit more.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Sass]

Traditions. Please give us traditions. A little bit more run of show on a Christmas day. Well, would you guys have a Christmas Eve tradition?

[Harry]

Yeah, we'll. We'll go. Everyone comes to our house on Christmas Eve.

[Sass]

Who's everyone?

[Harry]

My family. Like, my cousins.

[Sass]

Oh, your whole extended family?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Do most of them live.

[Harry]

They all live there.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

That's cool.

[Roan]

And then so everybody's cracking some beers. You're going to break a 0.0 out? Maybe.

[Harry]

Yeah, probably. I'll probably have a 0.0.

[Roan]

That's nice. NAS for you?

[Harry]

Couple Nas, anybody?

[Roan]

Does anyone get, like, loose?

[Harry]

Not like really anymore. As much as they used to. Like, my little sister will get faced, but outside of that, no.

[Roan]

Why are you throwing her under the bus?

[Harry]

Yeah, because it's that she will. She's in college, though, so it's like, who cares?

[Sass]

What about. What about. Do you have sort of an uncle or a cousin now who's, you know, become aware of your preferred substance and say, hey, Harry, you wanna.

[Harry]

No, we don't do that.

[Sass]

You want to get out? We don't do that. Really quick little walk down the driveway. No, no, we'll go see the Christmas lights.

[Harry]

Yeah, no, we don't do that.

[Roan]

Well, with edible technology, you don't have to go anywhere.

[Sass]

They're. They're eating.

[Harry]

You would know.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

400 milligram gingerbread house, taking down an entire siding or the front porch.

[Roan]

You want the roof? I'm more of a drinkable.

[Harry]

Yeah, you are. You're a drinkable guy.

[Roan]

Yeah, but I own it. I. I have no shame about the things I do.

[Harry]

Neither do I. I'm a shameless man.

[Sass]

So, night, Christmas Eve, is there. Is there a huge sort of potluck dinner? Everybody brings something.

[Harry]

The was that. I don't. I don't really know who they're working.

[Sass]

How does it work?

[Harry]

To that extent? My mom and my. My family will cook a lot, and then, you know, people will bring stuff. People bring sides.

[Sass]

Well, it wasn't such a hard thing to answer, was it?

[Harry]

Now, you know, maybe a corn casserole roll.

[Sass]

Yeah, there you go. You're like, I don't know. I don't know. And then you just knew.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Harry]

I was distracted because I heard someone yell outside.

[Sass]

Understood. Then the family clears out. Next day, you know, do you guys set out cookies for Santa or anything?

[Harry]

Of course.

[Sass]

Yeah. Write him a note. Yeah.

[Harry]

Oh, no.

[Sass]

Oh.

[Roan]

Who's the youngest member of your family?

[Sass]

Now, I didn't know if there were little kids.

[Roan]

Like, does any of your cousins have kids?

[Harry]

No. I think everyone's like, my. I have a. I have a cousin who's younger, but he's not that young. I think he's in high school, so. Or maybe middle.

[Sass]

I could see you being the cousin that spoiled Santa for all the other younger cousins.

[Harry]

Oh, no. Absolutely not.

[Roan]

And then felt bad, so we started dressing up as Santa.

[Harry]

No. Never in a million years would I do that.

[Sass]

Okay, well, sorry to keep going.

[Roan]

We actually.

[Harry]

I actually think my family has never actually addressed it that Santa doesn't exist. We just still all go under the assumption that it's real. Like, well, like, my mom will still be like, Santa's.

[Sass]

Santa's.

[Harry]

Like, Santa needs to know what you want because he's. He's getting. He's getting busy.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I'm like, I don't want anything.

[Sass]

And then your dad's like, harry, I think Santa's going to bring you a lump of coal.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Which you can put in your pipe and smoke if you want. Bastard coal. Now, morning of you wake up. Do you guys do stockings?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

First.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Huh. And who's putting stuff in the stockings? Do you get stocking presents for your family?

[Harry]

I get presents for my family. Yeah. But I don't get them stocking stuffers.

[Sass]

So that's gonna be socks and an orange, some chocolate.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, I don't really get a lot of stuff anymore. Like, it's not like I'm waking up and like.

[Roan]

Like running down the steps. Yeah, I mean, well, Dal, too. She's sending it right to the office.

[Harry]

I mean, Santa Claus came early. Yeah.

[Roan]

Do you think that it's gauche to ask for things for Christmas? Because I think it is, but I it to, like, you know, your parents point, like, it would probably be easier on them if you just said what you wanted instead of making them guess.

[Sass]

Yeah. I mean, my parents ask me what I want and then I have to come up with something. And I didn't really want much this year, so I just told them some things I need. Like, I need more coffee beans.

[Roan]

Jesus.

[Sass]

I ran out of my coffee beans.

[Harry]

That was the best you could come up with? Go to cvs.

[Sass]

You buy coffee at cvs.

[Harry]

You can buy coffee anywhere.

[Sass]

Come on, dude.

[Harry]

Starbucks.

[Sass]

Good coffee. Yeah, I. I like my coffee. So there's a. An Amazing. And he's a fan of the show.

[Harry]

He's definitely got the whole. You're like spritzing down the beans before you got. Putting him in the humidifier.

[Sass]

Whatever. Ring. What's the thing that eats money? They spray for it in Breaking Bad.

[Harry]

DraftKings.com God.

[Sass]

Oh my God. Dude, come on. You couldn't resist that. I couldn't. Oh my God. That's a great joke. But it's such a bad thing to say.

[Harry]

I was trying to come up with something else to say and then I just rushed to it. Stupid.

[Roan]

All right.

[Sass]

Back in here. Okay.

[Harry]

Now what's something that eats money?

[Roan]

Freaking kids.

[Harry]

Exactly.

[Sass]

It's like glow worm, lice, something. Ring.

[Harry]

Ringworm.

[Sass]

There's some kind of insect that eats money. I can't remember what it's called anyway.

[Harry]

Oh, like it's like a. Like it can be. It's on money.

[Sass]

Pest. Remember the scene in Breaking Bad when she spray. She sprays the gigantic sort of storage unit.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Of money.

[Harry]

But I don't prevent it from being.

[Sass]

Eaten by the silverfish.

[Harry]

Silver fish? Termites.

[Roan]

A ten foot sloth, perhaps.

[Sass]

Perhaps. All right, so Hannah, like coffee roasters is the. Is the group the guy down out in Kauai.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah. Who I met when we went out there to play golf with foreplay. And he gave me a bunch of bags of beans. And I love that coffee so much that every year now I get two five pound bags.

[Harry]

Okay.

[Sass]

That lasts me the year. Oh, and I've just run out, so I'm getting some new coffee.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That's not a bad. That's not a bad gift then.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

How much does that coffee run you?

[Sass]

Like $108 a bag. So 216. And that is coffee for the entire year. And I never buy coffee at a coffee shop unless I'm on the road.

[Harry]

That's crazy.

[Sass]

Well, think of how much money I save.

[Harry]

Well, no, I'm not saying it's not.

[Sass]

At ten dollars a cup. Roughly nine bucks a cup these days for my extra shot. Iced oat milk latte.

[Harry]

Yeah. How much caffeine are you guys drinking a day? Just that you don't want your one cup and done.

[Sass]

Roan's a midday re. Upper right.

[Roan]

I, I'll. I had like a cappuccino at five o' clock yesterday. I walk through caffeine like the juggernaut.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It doesn't do to me. There's like, I don't get. I don't go up, I don't go down.

[Harry]

You need Some of that Panera lemonade.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Honestly, the turbo, it's like, jittering. That shit's gone. They got rid of it.

[Roan]

Really?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah, because, like, teens were having heart attacks.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

What do you guys want for Christmas? You made fun of my coffee beans.

[Harry]

No, I mean, I know I have problems. I didn't know you meant that. I didn't even know you meant a year supply coffee. No, that's a good gift.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I don't have. I don't come up with stuff. And I know that it makes it harder on the people around me, but it's just like, I can't be. Like, for Christmas, I want this. Like, I just feel like.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I just don't. There's just not that many. Like, I just don't know what. What I want. Like, I don't know what I want. That would not be, like, a pain in the ass.

[Roan]

Amazon. Loki has killed Christmas.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

The things that you desire are at your fingertips. Like, they'll be here today if you truly want them.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So getting gifts for Christmas is just the exercise and patience.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It's like, I want this thing, but I'll tell someone else and wait to have the thing I want so you can feel good about what you've given me.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sass]

I'm trying to think. I would love to get you a cleaning lady for your apartment for Christmas.

[Harry]

That's okay.

[Sass]

But I'm trying to think of what she would need to do in order to. For you to let her in. Like, if she just showed up and she was some famous Twitch streamer, she.

[Roan]

Would have to Trojan. You should get a big Trojan horse.

[Sass]

Yes.

[Roan]

And then inside it is a group of small Panamanian cleaning ladies.

[Sass]

Or a giant pile of Trojan condoms.

[Roan]

Yes.

[Harry]

Used with seagulls.

[Sass]

A Trojan horse filled with Trojan condoms.

[Harry]

I feel like I forgot. I was gonna say something, but I think you gotta get out of here. Right?

[Sass]

No, I'm okay for a few more minutes.

[Roan]

No, I gotta get out of here.

[Harry]

Okay.

[Sass]

Well.

[Harry]

Solid episode.

[Sass]

My Christmas morning.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Do tell. Do tell. Well, you're gonna be in New Zealand.

[Sass]

But every other year of my life. Every other year, this beloved tradition. Which I will miss. Yeah. And will have a hole in my heart.

[Harry]

Well, you can do it next year.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Unless you're in Australia or some.

[Sass]

Yeah. We wake up. We do. We do stockings first, of course. And then my mom makes us these sourdough pancakes. Excuse me?

[Roan]

Waffles.

[Sass]

Sourdough waffles with, like, a raspberry preserve on top from the summer's raspberries that she keeps in the freezer.

[Harry]

Jesus, that sounds phenomenal.

[Sass]

And we do pure maple syrup from Maine that has been heated up with a little bit of some butter on it. And then we have to go do presents. And about a third of the way through presents. I am so tired from the waffles that I can't keep my eyes open and I get grumpy and I ruin crackers. Christmas forever. Every year this happens. I'm telling you, dude, I get so tired, people get. Bary did a joke about it, but it's just true.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

That eating syrupy waffles more than taking Ambien.

[Harry]

I don't know. Food doesn't affect me.

[Sass]

Makes me crash.

[Harry]

Waffle like food I don't get tired from at all.

[Roan]

Yeah. Well, the amount of sugar you're describing is like a 40 oz liquor container filled with just.

[Sass]

Yeah. Sugar. Yeah.

[Harry]

That is a. That is good though. We do cinnamon. Cinnamon rolls.

[Sass]

Oh, nice.

[Harry]

Yeah. Incredible.

[Sass]

Homemade. Yeah, Just that for breakfast. Did you do eggs and stuff?

[Harry]

We do eggs and stuff too.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Hash browns.

[Sass]

Nice, etc.

[Harry]

Etc.

[Roan]

This is my first year launching into my own traditions.

[Harry]

I know.

[Roan]

Oh, cool. So I'm gonna have to get some raspberries from this summer's harvest.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

As a spread.

[Sass]

We didn't have a very good harvest this year because we moved the bushes. We had to move them.

[Harry]

Oh, and they just come back?

[Sass]

Yeah, they weren't happy.

[Harry]

That's a big setback.

[Sass]

Last thing I'll say is after that, after the presents, we go to Popham beach and we walk on the beach.

[Harry]

Oh, very nice.

[Sass]

Which is really nice.

[Harry]

Beautiful. We don't do. We do them. We don't leave the house. We're staying inside on Christmas.

[Sass]

That's fine.

[Roan]

That sounds amazing. Yeah. I haven't done a Christmas this, I don't think in my entire life where I haven't gone to multiple locations. Really? I used to fly to Chicago every day on Christmas day. Every year on Christmas day.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Roan]

It was brutal.

[Sass]

That's.

[Roan]

And then for the last 10 years, I'm driving to multiple houses. This year I'm waking up in New York, driving to Harleysville, Pennsylvania and then driving to like Villanova.

[Harry]

Villanophone.

[Roan]

Exactly. That sounds. I love a beach walk. I love for it not to be a grind.

[Harry]

Well, this is. You signed up for this, brother. This is it. This is your life now.

[Roan]

It has been. I need to get these new traditions.

[Harry]

You gotta get these new traditions on lock. What are we thinking? Night before Christmas Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even know. I don't even know what to do. Maybe I'm definitely gonna have make a roast.

[Harry]

Why don't you read the kids night before Christmas?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah, I like it.

[Roan]

They won't give a I read them books. They do not care at all. All right.

[Harry]

All right.

[Roan]

All right.

[Sass]

Sweet.

[Harry]

Happy holidays. Thank you, everybody. We'll see you next week or I don't know when, but yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll see you guys next week. For one episode. Goodbye. So I looked older to you Came around I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way? So that you listen now I come alive? I was only falling one way?

[Sass]

I was only falling one way?

[Harry]

I was only falling one way?

[Sass]

I was only falling one way?

[Harry]

That is true you're right.

[Sass]

Did you.

[Harry]

To realize no one can take me alive? I was only falling one way? Distant life Call it just a memory? Take my hand and you can see. Sam. Me. Sa.