Omnivore | Son of a Boy Dad #318

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #318: "Omnivore"

Podcast by Barstool Sports
Original Air Date: July 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, "Omnivore," the crew—Rowan (Rone), Harry (Lil Sasquatch/Sass), and recurring guest Francis—riff on everything from the anxieties of adulthood to absurd culture clashes, listener scrutiny, and the endlessly humorous pitfalls of modern manhood. As Lil Sasquatch navigates life post-college, the guys swap stories, jab at each other’s quirks, and wax philosophical about empathy, hearing loss, and the joys and perils of peak masculinity. The tone is irreverent, self-deprecating, and fast-paced, with asides into metal music, North Korean propaganda, wilderness trips, and deep-dive tangents on sports, masculinity, and personal neuroses.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. College Dropping Out, Empathy, and Faking It

• Harry recounts pretending to be gay to pick up a prescription for a friend, only to receive a frosty reaction from the pharmacy staff:
  • “I get why gay people need rights. Because the black lady behind the counter was like disgusted at me. ‘Another one of you filthy gays in Brooklyn…’” (01:10)
• Francis weighs in on how “experiencing someone else’s plight” is nearly impossible unless you go through the motions:
  • “You can’t experience anybody else’s plight except for pretending to be gay, for example. I couldn't walk in and be like, yeah, I'm picking up my Chinese prescription.” (03:08)
• The group riffs on needing to “trash your own apartment for empathy,” using Sass as the archetype.

2. The Mysteries (and Hygiene) of Apartment Life

• Rowan describes “unlocking a window” in his Brooklyn apartment after years of it being painted shut:
  • “It felt like that episode of Always Sunny where they realize Charlie had a spare bedroom the whole time.” (05:17)
• They joke about mistaking pest repellents for air fresheners, and the perennial challenge of New York City living.

3. Metal Bands, System of a Down & Mosh Pit Culture

• Francis describes his confusion between Slipknot and System of a Down, then shares his new fascination with heavy metal culture:
  • “Apparently System of a Down people consider to be the best metal band ahead of Slipknot, you know?” (09:24)
• The group imagines attending a South American festival show:
  • “They pan out, and it looks like a city is on fire… one gigantic 80,000 people with humongous infernos.” (09:49)
• Harry and Rowan crack up over metalhead stereotypes and music culture.

4. Escaping the City: Upstate, Aging, and Hearing Loss

• Francis, now living upstate, details treating NYC as his “medical clinic”—coming in for doctor appointments and groceries:
  • “I now treat New York City like I’m a farmer that lives 130 miles away from the nearest city… last two times I’ve come into the city, I’ve scheduled doctor’s appointments.” (12:04)
• He laments his worsening hearing, considering hearing aids and revealing the embarrassment in social situations:
  • “When I go to a restaurant with one person, I insist that we sit at the bar, because... they're speaking directly into my ear as opposed to across the table.” (15:41)
• Jokes about “bone conductor” hearing aid technology—“Bone Conductor is also my favorite song from System of a Down.” (13:39)

5. Trip Planning, Regional Snobbery & the East vs. West Outdoors Debate

• The gang debates where to take a fishing trip: Wyoming, upstate NY, Maine, or Pennsylvania.
  • “Plan A is go fishing in Yellowstone, Wyoming, and plan B is go stay in [Francis’s] place as you should.” (19:00)
• Francis affirms his “mi casa es su casa” hospitality, clowning Rowan for overthinking friend etiquette.

6. Sports, Memory, Clothing Scrutiny

• Hilarious and petty debate over how recently Rowan wore a certain “stand-up shirt”—with fans fact-checking appearances:
  • Francis: “The last time I saw it was April 30th of 2024.”
  • Rowan: “I promise you it wasn’t.” (06:57)

7. New York, New Jersey, and the Great Migration

• Francis narrates his family’s move from NJ to Maine, dismissing Jersey’s appeal:
  • “I said to my parents, look, I don’t want to raise my kids here. ...We uprooted.” (22:42)
• Sprinkled in: disputes over state beauty and regional stereotypes.

8. Words, Orientals, and Occidentals

• The etymology of “Occidental”:
  • Harry: “If we’re accidental, Asian person’s Oriental, then we’re an occidental.” (24:23)
  • Rowan flexes his knowledge of Latin roots, to everyone else’s mock amazement.

9. North Korean Propaganda Tangent

• Spirited, irreverent talk about North Korea’s embassies and the possibility their propaganda is accurate:
  • “What if they’re not lying?...maybe it’s our propaganda.” (25:49)
• Explores the Otto Warmbier case and the danger (and idiocy) of “rolling up propaganda posters as souvenirs”:
  • “I did a deep Wikipedia dive about that kid from Virginia who went over there on that tour and stole the propaganda poster…” (27:14)

10. Cliff Diving, Death Dives, and Squirrel Suits

• The crew analyzes extreme sports, drawing lines between cliff diving, death diving, solo climbing, and wingsuit flying:
  • “I wonder if being a YouTuber cliff diver is more dangerous than being a wing suit base jumper.” (35:00)
  • Francis: “That is a perky penis. Not hard, but not droopy at all.” (38:34) (on the anatomy of divers)
  • They debate: What’s the most “doable” of these sports with a dark edge.

11. Workout Failures, Injury, and Gender Anxiety

• Francis recounts “girl math” justification for blowing money on new workout gear after forgetting his clothes:
  • “Now I need to make up for it by working out so hard. This has to be a $200 workout that I earn.” (50:34)
• Suffers a mild injury, then they riff on the myth of “getting lopsided” after one-arm injuries.

12. Masturbation, Tennis Stars, and 'Jacked' Anatomy

• A riff on Rafael Nadal’s famously muscular left arm:
  • Harry: “I think there’s a chance that Rafael Nadal only plays tennis to cover up for his furious masturbation habits.” (53:08)
  • Rowan: “Jack Sock is my favorite because reminds me of how I like to finish.” (53:53)

13. Football Strength and Humble Lifts

• Watching videos of NFL linemen carrying 700+ pounds:
  • Francis: “This is why none of these guys can walk when they’re 48 years old.” (57:15)
• Both Rowan and Harry admit to humble personal records, putting pro feats in comic perspective.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pharmacy Valor:
  “I pretended to be gay... Now I get why gay people need rights. The black lady behind the counter was like disgusted at me. ‘Another one of you filthy gays in Brooklyn...’”
  — Harry, (01:45)

• On Medical Check-ins:
  “I now treat New York City like I'm a farmer that lives 130 miles away from the nearest city... the last two times I've come into the city, I've scheduled doctor's appointments.”
  — Francis, (12:04)

• On Aging & Hearing Loss:
  “My hearing has gone to shit... I'm losing my hearing from all of the System of a Down I've been cranking.”
  — Francis, (12:45)

• On “Empathy” via Apartment Filthiness:
  “It’s actually necessary for empathy that you trash your apartment.”
  — Harry, (03:32)

• On Death Dives:
  “That is a perky penis... Not hard, but not droopy at all.”
  — Francis, (38:34)

• On Rafael Nadal:
  “I think that there’s a chance Nadal only plays tennis to cover up for his furious masturbation habits.”
  — Harry, (53:08)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:15 — Main show intro (real conversation begins)
• 03:00 — Empathy and faking identity for social experiments
• 05:00 — Apartment window “unlocked,” Always Sunny reference
• 09:24 — Metal band discourse: System of a Down vs Slipknot
• 12:04 — Francis discusses turning NYC into his “healthcare center”
• 13:39 — “Bone Conductor”: hearing technology and metal puns
• 19:00–21:00 — Fishing trip debate; East vs. West outdoors
• 22:42 — Francis on moving from New Jersey to Maine
• 27:14 — North Korea, Otto Warmbier story, Vice documentaries
• 35:00–40:00 — Cliff diving, death dives, free solo, wingsuit debate
• 50:34 — Francis justifies $200 workout “girl math”/injury
• 53:08 — Masturbation, Nadal, and “jacked” arms
• 54:41–57:00 — NFL linemen workouts, football strength humility

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Final Takeaways

This episode brims with classic Son of a Boy Dad energy: rambling but sharp, self-aware, irreverent, and slyly insightful amid all the bro banter. The balance of self-deprecation and one-upmanship, odd trivia, cultural hot takes, and unexpectedly real moments (especially regarding health or “adulthood stuff”) is classic for fans—but the show is accessible even for new listeners. Highlights include the sheer silliness of the System of a Down obsession, the relatable anxiety about health and city life, and the group’s gift for finding absurdity in the everyday.

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For New Listeners:

This is a quintessential episode blending running jokes with surprisingly thoughtful riffs on manhood, city vs. country, aging, and the weird things we do for— and against—ourselves.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Harry]

Hey, son of a boy. Dad Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

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[Rowan]

Alrighty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is 12:30pm it is July 15th.

[Harry]

Halfway through the month of July, halfway through the summer.

[Rowan]

A month and a half till ball, though. That's so six weeks still.

[Harry]

Ball. I'm counting the days. Actually. 51 days until the Eagles first game.

[Rowan]

Yeah, they start Eagles, Cowboys. Is that a Monday or a Thursday?

[Harry]

Last year it was Thor's day. So it's got.

[Rowan]

I think it's Thursday.

[Harry]

The. I stole some valor this morning. I had to pick up prescriptions for Francis and I didn't know if they would let me do it. And so I was like, I'm picking up prescriptions for my boyfriend and. Oh, you said that I pretended to be gay.

[Rowan]

You went, Kevin James.

[Harry]

Adam.

[Rowan]

Adam Sandler.

[Harry]

Yes, I, I.

[Francis]

Then you stole some valor.

[Harry]

Yeah. And now I get why gay people need rights. Because the black lady behind the counter was like disgusted at me. Oh, really? She was like another one of you guys.

[Rowan]

Oh, no.

[Harry]

Another one of you filthy gays in Brooklyn.

[Rowan]

Yeah. Especially when you. Especially when you it. When he handed you the. When she handed you the. The CVS duffel bag.

[Harry]

Yeah. Of like boner pills.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

She was probably like, what the is in this?

[Harry]

Boner pills and prescription condoms.

[Musical Guest]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Sixth gay today.

[Harry]

Gay fatigue is real.

[Francis]

I need to move back to Mississippi. Okay. Bye.

[Harry]

She was so fatigued. She didn't. She didn't have a limp until I said I was. I had a boyfriend. Then she started limping over like she had psychosomatic pain about me being gay.

[Francis]

Golly. Golly. Be fun to experience that so that I could be, like, mad on behalf of people but not actually take it personally.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's fun. It was fun. And it's like, you can't experience anybody else's plight except for pretending to be gay, for example. I couldn't walk in and be like, yeah, I'm picking up my Chinese prescription.

[Rowan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Francis]

Do you think that if I were to absolutely trash my apartment, I would better understand what it's like to be sass?

[Harry]

Yeah, probably. You. I think that it's actually necessary for empathy that you trash your apartment.

[Francis]

You think we'd get along better if I sort of just. Instead of, like, working out and, you know, keeping my life together, I just started playing video games and complaining about. I think we need screen latency.

[Harry]

Yeah, no, I think we need to go to petsmart and get a terrarium of roaches and then just release the hounds in your apartment.

[Rowan]

I don't have any roaches.

[Harry]

I'm just kidding, brother.

[Rowan]

I got roach spray and rodent spray.

[Harry]

Just a little bit better to huff with. Makes a weed.

[Rowan]

A little gassing this weekend, actually.

[Francis]

Yeah, Two spritzes of those and a little dash of Campari and you got yourself one killer Negroni.

[Harry]

He's on his way out with a roach spray. Like.

[Rowan]

They got the. Every 30 days it says to. You're supposed to do the spray. And I have a roach one and a rodent one and the rodent one. It's for mice and it. And mice don't like the smell of mint, so it's minty.

[Francis]

Oh, nice.

[Rowan]

That's what you would think, right? You're like, ah, I like the smell of mint. Right.

[Francis]

Little air freshener.

[Rowan]

Yeah, yeah. It feels like you're inside someone's mouth and they just use Listerine mouthwash. You can't breathe.

[Harry]

You're in, like, a bad breath commercial.

[Rowan]

Yeah, dude, you had. I had to open every window in my apartment.

[Francis]

I didn't think you could open the windows in your apartment.

[Harry]

He broke them.

[Rowan]

I found. I, I. There's a new window. Yeah, I unlocked.

[Harry]

I unlocked a new.

[Rowan]

I unlocked a new window. I had to get. I had to get the hammer out. I realized that those windows open is just someone painted over them.

[Francis]

Yeah, right.

[Rowan]

So I just chiseled away.

[Francis]

I'm thrilled to hear that, it's like unlocking that back pocket on new pants.

[Rowan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Harry]

You have to rip it open.

[Rowan]

Yeah, it felt like that. There's an episode of Always Sunny where it's actually last season, the first episode, where they find out that Charlie's had a bedroom.

[Francis]

Oh, spare bedroom. The whole time.

[Rowan]

He'S like, what's behind this door that's boarded up? And they open it up. It's just a massive bedroom.

[Francis]

What does he call it? Why does he justify not ever said that?

[Rowan]

Well, I think his reasoning in the show is that, like, they walk into it and Frank's like, why have we not been using this? And then someone knocks on the door and he's like, now I got to.

[Francis]

Walk all the way back. It's too much.

[Rowan]

Yeah, it's too big. They have a bathroom too, and they've been in cans.

[Francis]

So. Man, it's great.

[Harry]

Unlocked makes it seem like you, like, live there long enough. Like it was a city in GTA or something like that. Yeah, you leveled up. You played enough that you can use a window.

[Francis]

Now, I have one other bone to pick, which is that people pointed out that the shirt that you wore on the pod that you said you've worn 30 times on the pod in our most recent episode, the last time you. You have worn it once before, and the last time you WORE it was April 30th of 2024.

[Rowan]

So a year ago.

[Harry]

A year and. And some change.

[Francis]

Year and a few months.

[Rowan]

Yeah, it's like a year ago.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's like a year and a third. You said you had just worn it and you've worn it 30 times.

[Rowan]

I wear it all the time.

[Francis]

You wear it all the time. So a year, year and three months ago is.

[Rowan]

You said on the pod, my stand.

[Francis]

Up shirt, you said, I've seen the shirt. I know the shirt, Francis. You know this shirt. Seen it a hundred times.

[Rowan]

You have.

[Francis]

The last time I saw it was April 30th of 2024.

[Rowan]

I promise you it wasn't.

[Francis]

That was.

[Rowan]

I promise you it wasn't.

[Francis]

How could I be expected to remember a shirt that you wore that you. By the way, must be nice to have such a. An amazingly deep wardrobe as to wear a shirt a year and three months apart and be like, I wear this thing all the time.

[Rowan]

I bring it out on special occasions.

[Harry]

But we also do scrutinize every piece of clothing you ever wear.

[Francis]

This is new.

[Rowan]

No, it's not.

[Francis]

That's a new windbreaker. Never seen that before.

[Rowan]

You can tell because it's wrinkled. It's not.

[Francis]

I mean, you just pulled it out of the pouch that it came in.

[Rowan]

I pulled it out of the closet.

[Francis]

It comes out of one of those rain pouches.

[Rowan]

Fully honest. I was looking in my closet for shorts and if found this and I was like, oh, I totally forgot I had this jacket.

[Francis]

Yeah, you found it in the closet of Filene's. Where'd you buy that? Where'd you get that thing?

[Rowan]

I genuinely don't know. I think probably online.

[Francis]

I would. That makes sense. And does it come in one of those pouches, like it's a stuffable one?

[Rowan]

No, no, I think this is old. I think this is, like, vintage.

[Francis]

No, that's a stuffable one. That's why it's wrinkled, because it was crunched together.

[Rowan]

It was crunched together in the bottom of my closet.

[Francis]

You can pack it in a really small space.

[Rowan]

Yeah, it was just stuffed in the corner. That's why I didn't know it was there.

[Francis]

I love it.

[Harry]

Those were great to have, like a little pencil case full of shirt.

[Francis]

Well, you can use it as a. You can use it as a pillowcase or as a pillow as well when you're camping. That's not.

[Rowan]

You're thinking of like a down jacket.

[Francis]

I think I know exactly what I'm thinking of. And it's that.

[Rowan]

No, because that's. This is not that.

[Francis]

I know what that is.

[Rowan]

You don't, clearly.

[Francis]

I have a very good idea of.

[Rowan]

What you're thinking of. A Down. Which down makes a. Makes a hell of a pillow.

[Francis]

Speaking of, Are you guys familiar with the System of a Down?

[Harry]

Yes. Disorder. Is that. Is that them? Put it on the bone. Put it on Disorder.

[Francis]

I don't know any of their songs. However, I was talking to someone about how much I like Slipknot now, and they said, if you like Slipknot, you got to check out System of A Down. Now I had System of a Down confused with some, like, sad, melodramatic band from the two early 2000s that I thought saying kind of angsty rock wrong. Apparently System of a Down people consider to be the best metal band ahead of Slipknot, you know.

[Rowan]

Really?

[Francis]

Yeah, like way better.

[Harry]

And then they're the ones who are like, wake up.

[Rowan]

Oh, okay. I'm familiar with that song.

[Francis]

I saw a clip recently of. Of them in Brazil opening their show. And there's just fires everywhere, of course. 80, 000 people.

[Rowan]

Yeah, Pyro.

[Francis]

And they're like, we got fires all around.

[Harry]

Round, round, round, round.

[Rowan]

That's awesome.

[Francis]

And there's. I mean, they pan out, and it looks like a city is on fire. Like, there's riots happening, and it's just one gigantic 80,000 people with humongous infernos burning. I'm like, man, oh, man, that sounds awesome.

[Harry]

We got to get to.

[Rowan]

We got to go to that. Fires all around, around, around.

[Francis]

I think he's just making it up. I don't think that's one of their songs.

[Rowan]

Just improving.

[Francis]

It was cool, man.

[Rowan]

That's awesome.

[Francis]

People say System of Down's unbelievable. I would check them out, but first I got to. I got to see Slipknot.

[Harry]

Toxicity was their best album, their biggest album.

[Rowan]

Is that what you're listening to on your. On your commute?

[Francis]

I'm not actually listening to it. I can't stand the music.

[Harry]

It's more the words.

[Francis]

I'm there for the culture. Yeah. I like the idea of it.

[Harry]

You know, you would wreck shop in one of those mosh pits where everybody's.

[Rowan]

Just like, yeah, you're like James Franco in the end of Freaks and Geeks.

[Harry]

Remember?

[Rowan]

When he goes. When he goes rock. When he goes metal.

[Harry]

I never. I never made it to the end. I heard about the allegations about Frank.

[Rowan]

Neither of you guys have ever seen that show.

[Harry]

I started. I watched, like, the first four episodes, but then I heard about Franco's allegations, and I said, I cannot support his art.

[Rowan]

It came out probably 30 years before his allegations did.

[Harry]

I was in the middle of it when I heard about the allegations. He was young, right? Very same age as his victims, right?

[Rowan]

That's fucked up, dude, and not funny.

[Harry]

No, it's fucked up what. What he did. I'm the one that's fucked up. For commenting on the hyenas acts of.

[Rowan]

James Franco at the end of Freaks and Geeks. I don't know if it's the last episode or maybe it's this or. No, because I think the last episode, he. His Dungeons and Dragons with the geeks. It's actually an awesome ending. But he goes to, like, a metal concert, and he gets his, like, head cut open or some shit. But he's got, like, spiky hair and stuff. It's hilarious.

[Harry]

That is sick.

[Rowan]

You could do that, especially. You live in Brooklyn. They got concerts like that, like, every other block.

[Francis]

I don't live in Brooklyn anymore, man. I live upstate.

[Rowan]

I'm sure Upstate's got some good. Like you could go out to. You go to be.

[Harry]

I heard Beacons, like the Brooklyn of upstate.

[Rowan]

Yeah, Beacons, like a hot spot for metal, right?

[Francis]

Now city doesn't do it for me anymore.

[Rowan]

Yeah, you got to be out in the woods.

[Francis]

I'll tell you what. I now treat New York City like I'm a farmer that lives 130 miles away from the nearest city. And bringing the gun in once a year, I have to go in for like a medical checkup because I swear to God, the last two times that I've come into the city, I've scheduled doctor's appointments. Yeah. And the last week I went to the infectious disease expert about the tick bite. And then yesterday I went to the dermatologist. And then next week when I'm in for 24 hours, I'm gonna go see a doctor about my hearing because I'm losing my hearing from all of the system of a down I've been cranking.

[Harry]

But are you actually losing your hearing?

[Francis]

I really am. It's bad. It's embarrassing. No, don't with me. It's embarrassing. I, I. What do you think they're gonna do?

[Rowan]

Give you a hearing?

[Francis]

I want a hearing test and I want to see bro hearing aids where.

[Harry]

It'S like a trumpet out of your ear.

[Francis]

Hearing aids have come a long way. Yeah, you don't even notice them anymore.

[Rowan]

Francis, if you had a hearing aid, I would never stop making fun of you for it.

[Francis]

Yeah, you wouldn't even know though a cochlear implant.

[Rowan]

I would. Because you would have that thing on your ear.

[Francis]

But it's so thin now.

[Rowan]

Doesn't matter.

[Francis]

It is as thin as what you would hope your wires to be for your Internet hookup.

[Rowan]

You want thicker wires, faster, faster speeds.

[Harry]

You can on hearing aids. You can get them attached to Bluetooth now like my mother in law's hearing aid always like accidentally like links up to Bluetooth.

[Rowan]

Yeah. But I don't know anyone that's 36 with a hearing aid.

[Francis]

Dude, there are a lot of us. And they also have this new technology called bone conductor where it just plays it through, it almost reverberates, I think the sound through the bone through sound waves and not. Which is an amazing coincidence because Bone Conductor is also my favorite song from System of a Down.

[Rowan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

But I am thinking hard about it and, and my, my hearing has gone to. So I got to go check that out.

[Harry]

What made you, how could you tell that it was going to shit? Like over the circumstances, I have to.

[Francis]

Get people to repeat themselves constant.

[Rowan]

Because you're not listening to them especially.

[Francis]

No, it's not true. If I were not listening, then I wouldn't say can you say that again?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You would? No, I wouldn't. Because I wouldn't care. I'm. I'm on, you know, a date. You know, it's always when I'm in, like, a loud restaurant. When I'm in a loud restaurant, if there's ambient noise of any kind. You know, if I'm fishing with a bow or Peters or Nate. Not Nate really as much anymore. But when I'm fishing and there's, you know, we're in a class three rapids sort of stream, and we're hitting a nice hole. Yeah, it's like that scene from Runs Through It.

[Harry]

No, the river.

[Francis]

Quiet place.

[Harry]

Oh.

[Francis]

Where John Krasinski takes his son to the babbling brook and says, we can yell here. We can talk because they can't hear us.

[Rowan]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

I can't hear anything when there's any kind of ambient noise.

[Harry]

And it's really happened.

[Francis]

I think just. I don't know, man. Years of living in New York and refusing to plug my ears when fire trucks drove by because people would think I was gay.

[Harry]

Yeah, you should have been plugging your ears.

[Francis]

I want to.

[Rowan]

Those sirens will get you.

[Harry]

I heard. I saw a dog that. A fire truck went by this morning, and it started howling, and I got a good chuckle out of it. Howled along.

[Francis]

Clearly thinks it's a Dalmatian. Yeah.

[Harry]

All of us did. All the dog owners on the street. It was so nice. But that breaks my heart that your poor ears are going.

[Francis]

I wonder why. I'm at a point now where I have to. When I go to a restaurant with one person, I insist that we sit at the bar, because then I'm sitting like this in our conversation. I. I can look forward, and they're speaking directly into my ear as opposed to across the table.

[Rowan]

But you can't read their lips.

[Francis]

I don't. Haven't learned that yet.

[Harry]

You're gonna have to start.

[Francis]

I only have my white belt in the deaf community.

[Harry]

You're gonna have to blitz your. You're gonna have to go to a lot of deaf jiu jitsu classes.

[Francis]

Yeah. You're talking purple with a brown stripe right now.

[Rowan]

I grew up with a kid that was deaf, and he said. He said that when he was in class, he would turn off his. His hearing aids.

[Francis]

And do what?

[Rowan]

Like when we were. Like when. It was like you said, when he was bored, he would just turn them off and just check out.

[Francis]

That's kind of a cool.

[Rowan]

I know. A little life ability.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Getting yelled at by someone.

[Harry]

Your wife's yelling at you and you're just. Yeah, it's great. That sounds so nice.

[Rowan]

Sorry, I'm on low battery. I gotta save it.

[Harry]

I really hope that they figure that out. What? Could it be anything else or is there any way that you can rehab it or.

[Francis]

Like, that's what I'm wondering. I don't know a whole lot about why I can't hear that well anymore, but that's what I'm gonna go see. And my point in this is that I'm treating New York City as just like the medical treatment center of my life.

[Harry]

Clinic for you.

[Francis]

I come in, I get a haircut. I'm going to get a haircut today. I'm going to get the right groceries that I can't get upstate at my farm stands. Right.

[Rowan]

What groceries can you not get upstate?

[Francis]

Well, spices are harder to come by.

[Rowan]

Really good. They don't sell spices.

[Francis]

Ethnic spices are harder to come by.

[Harry]

Said Grand Central, they have like this mixed spice store.

[Francis]

They do.

[Rowan]

There's definitely some. A closer spice store than New York City. Albany perhaps?

[Francis]

I'm not. Albany's way out of the way for me.

[Harry]

He's got to go to New Paltz if he wants good spices.

[Francis]

Nice. Nice poll. That's. That's across the river though.

[Harry]

New Paul's. Great movie theater.

[Rowan]

Really?

[Harry]

Do they or. It's like. It's like a blast from the past movie theater. It feels like it's 1993 in there. They still sell like movie posters.

[Francis]

Oh, cool.

[Rowan]

We were. We were planning our. We're still planning this fishing trip that's been on and off non stop.

[Francis]

I know. I'm beginning to wonder if it's ever going to happen.

[Rowan]

You're gonna like this, Francis. We were.

[Francis]

I just want us to go.

[Rowan]

Well, we were planning it out. We're still trying to go to Wyoming, but then everything's expensive. I think that is where we're actually going. But this is. We're talking about next week, by the way, to the second half of the week. We're only going for like three days. But. But we were. We were talking about alternatives for places to go. I was like, we could go like Pennsylvania's got good fishing. North Carolina, West Virginia, Maine, somewhere upstate New York. And Belle was like, what? Doesn't Francis have a place?

[Francis]

Bingo.

[Rowan]

In New York? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, is there good fishing there? And I was like, I probably around there.

[Francis]

Yep.

[Rowan]

And he's like, why don't we just go there?

[Francis]

Perfect.

[Rowan]

And I was like, because it's his house and we don't like. And we're not just gonna go to his house.

[Francis]

This is just another extension of you being like, yeah, all my friends live in Maine now, but why would I ever tell you guys to hang out? It's the opposite of that. Of course, dude, we're talking about the same way that I do, which is that mi casa, esu casa. A friend of my friend is my.

[Harry]

Friend, and he's just a damn. In the flow of community.

[Francis]

And you're like, on what world would we ever be able to go to his house?

[Rowan]

You were talking about. We're talking about either plan A is go fishing in Yellowstone, Wyoming, and plan B is go. Is go stay in your place as you should. Like, during the work week, you're gonna be working and we're gonna be like, that's fine.

[Francis]

Breakfast. I will have cooked it. I'll have a nice spread out. Just take and go grab some ride.

[Rowan]

To the river today.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Well, look, would you guys camp or would you literally.

[Rowan]

Yeah, we would camp in Francis's front yard.

[Francis]

Thinking about having.

[Rowan]

I gotta come in and take a.

[Francis]

Yeah, you're welcome to.

[Harry]

That'll be so nice, Francis.

[Rowan]

We're just gonna piss in the. Yell in the lawn, but is it cool if we inside.

[Harry]

We have no idea. We don't feel comfortable out here.

[Francis]

Yeah. I have a composting toile, so make sure you dump the dirt on the top of it.

[Harry]

Oh, my God. You should. Why don't you? Because, like, once you're in the deep wilderness, if it's seasonal, you won't know if you're in Montana or central Pennsylvania.

[Rowan]

That's kind of my. That was kind of my reasoning. But then you think about it and you're like. You're like, you know, you got a pretty good idea if you're in Pennsylvania or Wyoming.

[Francis]

You do. And a lot of that is the scenery. I mean, won't you guys be seeing some pretty mountain ranges and things like that? And my place. You're not gonna see that. You'll see rolling. Rolling.

[Harry]

No, it's.

[Francis]

But that's nice.

[Rowan]

My thing is that they. They're very anti. Just the east and like, they just want to go out west. And I'm like, there is like, we went up to Lake Placid with Owen, like, to shoot like two weeks ago. It's beautiful up there.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

Like, there is nice places.

[Harry]

Like, 95 of New York State is beautiful.

[Francis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Rowan]

Even New Jersey.

[Harry]

Jersey's beautiful. There's like bears.

[Rowan]

If you Go. No, if you go to the right, like places in Jersey, it's nice.

[Francis]

I spent a very small period of my life living there in Red Bank. I was. I mean.

[Rowan]

Well, Red Bank's not the right spot.

[Francis]

What I remember. What I remember scary. Scary.

[Harry]

What kind of scary?

[Francis]

Absolutely scary.

[Rowan]

Well, Francis was. Francis was living in New York pre 9 11, which was like the city was abuzz back then.

[Francis]

Right. We didn't have the fear as much.

[Harry]

You weren't waltz onto a plane two minutes before it took off.

[Rowan]

Oh, yeah, dude, I'll just. I'll never forget pulling up to. Pulling up on the tarmac. Yeah. What, did Riggs do that?

[Harry]

Yeah, he left his car out front.

[Rowan]

Of a. Oh, yeah, yeah. Someone just told me that recently.

[Harry]

A rental out front.

[Rowan]

Yeah, I think it was. Tommy told me that. I was talking about that Louie bit where he talks about leaving the rental car wherever and they were like, you know, Riggs actually did that. Like, he just left it, like where? Like at the arrivals area for the airport and got on a flight.

[Harry]

I think he called Spider.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah. Like, yeah, Spider. Deal with this. I'm in New York. How. How could I deal with that?

[Rowan]

That's crazy.

[Harry]

I'm sure Spider found a way.

[Rowan]

Oh, I'm sure. Car was probably moved in 10 minutes.

[Harry]

Yeah. New Jersey was a scarier place back then.

[Francis]

Yeah, it was just, you know, it wasn't that great, which is why we moved. I said to my parents, look, I don't want to. I don't want to raise my kids here and I don't want you as grandparents to be around them. So we moved to Maine as a whole family. We uprooted.

[Harry]

That's going to be so nice to just be able to force them to move.

[Francis]

But that's all I remember. Because New Jersey, I chose to forget it. It's not really in my blood. I'm a Mainer.

[Rowan]

Unless you do shows there.

[Francis]

Doesn'T it.

[Harry]

Fuck you up that you can go north to New Jersey from New York? It doesn't make sense.

[Francis]

You know, you're. When. When. When you ask AI what football team you support.

[Rowan]

Yeah, I know.

[Francis]

It comes out as the Bills. So if you want to talk about confusing the world, it's all about pant.

[Rowan]

We're in a career that's based on.

[Francis]

Pandering where you're from. Senor Division.

[Rowan]

I'm not hating on it.

[Francis]

Nobody's confusing Maine in New Jersey, brother. Man.

[Rowan]

Some are.

[Francis]

No.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

Some would say that someone that grew up in Maine should be a Patriots fan.

[Francis]

Different Bumper crops. New Jersey corn, Maine blueberries.

[Harry]

So many blueberries there. So many antioxidants growing.

[Rowan]

I love those antioxidants.

[Harry]

So nice to have the antioxidants flowing through your body. I hate the oxidants.

[Rowan]

I hate oxidants so much.

[Francis]

The occidentals. What are occidentals, by the way?

[Harry]

Orientals are people from the east, so occidentals are people from the West.

[Francis]

Ah, yes.

[Harry]

I think that's us. Honestly, like, if we're accidental Asian person's Oriental, then we're an occidental.

[Francis]

I need to look.

[Harry]

We were born by accident, which is foul and disgusting. So what are you guys going to. I mean, how are you going to decide where you go?

[Rowan]

We've already got it planned out now.

[Harry]

Wyoming for sure.

[Francis]

Dude, you're not wrong.

[Harry]

Occident.

[Francis]

Occident means relating to the countries of the West. Noun. A native or inhabitant of the West. So Oriental it is the opposite. How crazy. Did you know that? Yeah, actually. You didn't just throw that out as a joke?

[Harry]

No.

[Rowan]

Rowan knows all, like, the bases of words, the Latin meanings.

[Francis]

That's incredible.

[Harry]

Him, Latin American?

[Francis]

I never knew that. I knew that there was an. There's an occidental college. Yeah, yeah. Where west understood west appear. West are pretty much everywhere.

[Rowan]

Is there any occidental embassies in the oriental area?

[Harry]

There has to be. There where? What country? I was watching, like, a travel video and it was like, where was. It was like, Uganda or, like, Brazil or something like that, and they were like. Yeah. And there's a North Korean embassy here.

[Rowan]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

You never think of North Korea having, like, embassies in different places or, like, a foothold in different countries.

[Rowan]

It would be cool if it was just, like, the building was, like, built like a rocket ship. Like, clearly, like, this is North Korea's.

[Harry]

Like, what if. What if they're not lying? What if North Korea, like, actually has all the things they tell their citizens they have and, like, their leaders are as great as they say they are? Like, maybe it's propaganda on our end that, like, they suck ass and they have no Internet and their leaders.

[Rowan]

Anybody on X talking about North Korea sucking?

[Harry]

Why?

[Rowan]

That's where I get all my news.

[Harry]

Yeah, well, it's probably. I mean, a lot of it is Israeli bots, but some of them has to be North Korean bots as well.

[Rowan]

There's not a ton of North Korean propaganda.

[Harry]

Anti or pro.

[Rowan]

It's mostly anti, I would say.

[Harry]

I think North Korea is kind of, like, forgotten about Right now because there's so much else going on in the world.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

North Korea. We did not forget you, brothers. We still talk about you every day.

[Rowan]

That's so funny. It's so funny how, like, you know how people will fly the flag of like the country they're supporting in the war. Like how people like the Ukraine.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

Just start flying the North Korean flag. Well, I'm flying it for the citizens.

[Musical Guest]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

I'm flying it for the people of the country who are being held hostage by their government. Honestly, it's a massive North Korean.

[Harry]

We should be looking out for them. It's crazy to hate the people of other countries. Like you can hate their government. Oh, yeah, but like hating a North Korean citizen for not knowing.

[Francis]

I did. I did a deep Wikipedia dive about that kid from Virginia who went over there on that tour and stole the propaganda poster and then got arrested at the airport.

[Harry]

The CIA agent?

[Francis]

The sleeper cell. I mean, he was a frat brother at uva. So if he right by Langley. Jake Malzick, He's a CIA agent.

[Harry]

You know, it would make sense.

[Francis]

That's a deep cover.

[Harry]

That is. But I mean, those videos of him looked were harrowing.

[Francis]

Well, when he's in the court, he's weeping. That's pretty bad. But then, you know, he looks like Andrew Callahan.

[Harry]

Low key. Looks like the dude from Channel 5. Yeah.

[Francis]

What was his name?

[Rowan]

Is it. Is this. He was in court in America or North Korea?

[Francis]

North Korea. He was on a student trip. Right. And he went over there and As a dare. Or maybe it was like as a funny idea.

[Rowan]

High school. His school went to North Korea.

[Francis]

College. He was like on a college tour with. Oh yeah, you said uva with some other kids. And he went over there and he went down, he left, he peeled off from the tour. Which when you do those tours, everything is curated. The whole. The whole trip through the country.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Is they are just presenting you with the exact few things they want you to see and they don't show you any of the reality. You can't. I don't know if you can just like walk around, hop on a bus.

[Rowan]

I doubt it.

[Francis]

I don't think you can interact with the locals. Whatever. But there's a great Vice doc by the founder of Vice. You'll love that.

[Rowan]

I've seen a ton of ice docs.

[Francis]

That's where he goes.

[Rowan]

Oh, really?

[Francis]

Yeah. I haven't.

[Rowan]

I'll check that out.

[Francis]

That's better than any of those fast car driving ones, by the way.

[Harry]

He does not look like I Was thinking of Brian Coburger, who looks like Andrew Callahan.

[Rowan]

I don't know who Brian Coburger is.

[Harry]

He's the one who killed all those students in. In Montana.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah, there's gonna be a doc about him.

[Harry]

I bet he's gonna get a good. There already is. But yeah, the North Korean doctor.

[Rowan]

Oh, serial. I thought. I was thinking of like a school shooting serial killer.

[Harry]

He went to there. Like.

[Rowan]

Yeah, he went to the dorm or something like that.

[Harry]

But the North Korean documentaries are nuts. There's. There's some online where they just like take a boat past North Korea. Like they just like look at it like it's a zoo animal. It's. I mean, it is truly fascinating.

[Francis]

His name was Otto Warmbier or Warm Beer. I'm not sure it's automatic.

[Rowan]

Warm Beer.

[Francis]

Yeah, you could get him on warm ones. Oh, wait, he's dead. Is he dead? Yeah, he's dead. Yeah. So he was over there and he peeled off from his tour group and he snuck behind into an area he wasn't supposed to be in. And he saw this anti America propaganda poster on the wall. I think it featured Kim Jong Un and, you know, maybe like holding up a rocket ship to fucking the White House or something like that. And he took it off the wall and rolled it up and stuck it in his bag.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And then he. And he was on camera.

[Rowan]

This seems to be like, I've heard like 900 stories, not obviously in North Korea, but like, I, like, I've heard so many stories about kids going on school trips and like taking like license plates off of cars as a souvenir. It's never just. It's not a good idea.

[Francis]

Right, Right.

[Rowan]

Rolling up prop. Rolling up poster. Like, you wouldn't do that in America.

[Francis]

No.

[Rowan]

You wouldn't walk by a movie theater and be like, really? Like that new 28 Years later poster. Yeah, that's fine.

[Francis]

Now, when I was, When I was a kid, we went with our. I remember we went with our science class. One day we went into this cave in Maine, right? And they were like, don't touch stuff because it's kind of precarious or whatever. And we went pretty deep in. It was cool. Like there was, you know, water and standing water and stalactites and stuff like that. And we got really deep in. And I saw this like shimmering kind of. I don't know what you'd call it, like a. Almost like.

[Harry]

Don't tell me it was a Holy Grail.

[Francis]

No, it's a Holy Grail.

[Harry]

I'm gonna be pissed.

[Francis]

It was like an urn or something like that. Just a little vessel. Right. This kind of thing. And it really was like, capturing my eyes. And they had said, like, if you see that thing, that's the only thing you can actually touch.

[Rowan]

Oh, okay.

[Francis]

But don't touch anything else. And unfortunately, one of the kids that I was with touched something else and everything started collapsing.

[Harry]

Oh, you had to rush out.

[Francis]

Yeah. Fortunately, there was this carpet that, like, somehow could fly.

[Harry]

And you hopped on the carpet. That's so smart.

[Francis]

Oh, wait, I'm thinking of the plot of Aladdin.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yep.

[Rowan]

Yep.

[Francis]

God damn it.

[Harry]

I almost stepped on it so hard with the Holy Grail. I'm such a.

[Francis]

No, no, no. That would have been. That was a great diversion because Harry was with us until. When did you. When did you hop off? That being a true story.

[Harry]

When did you turn down.

[Francis]

No, you didn't.

[Rowan]

At the cave.

[Francis]

No. There were caves in Maine. There. Caves in Maine.

[Rowan]

What scenario would you be going to a cave in Maine?

[Francis]

We went to the. I'm not even kidding you. We went to the rock quarry and looked for tourmaline. We spent an entire day.

[Rowan]

I went to a quarry. Quarries are fun.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Jumping off of them don't like a disproportionate amount of kids dying. Quarries. Quarries are like sneaky, deadly.

[Francis]

Corey Underwood.

[Rowan]

All bodies of water are dangerous to children.

[Harry]

Yeah. I think quarries just look a little safer because it's like. Like stagnant.

[Rowan]

I feel like they look a lot more dangerous because the only way into them is from, like a 90 foot drop off.

[Francis]

Speaking of all, my Instagram feed now is. Is people setting the new high dive record.

[Rowan]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

And I don't know if they're doing. I don't. I expect that they're gonna go in feet first and then most of the time they go in doing that death.

[Rowan]

Dive thing, the thing where they, like go just.

[Francis]

Yeah, like that. And I don't understand how those people are alive because now they're jumping from heights that I'm pretty sure are higher than the bridges that we bike across, where we see memorials to the people who have killed themselves from them. And does that just mean that the people who killed themselves didn't have the right form?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Going into the water.

[Rowan]

Yeah, I think so.

[Harry]

Been a whole different story. They would have been a world record holder.

[Rowan]

I would assume you could jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and live. If you are a high dot, if you know how to.

[Francis]

Could you death dive off of it?

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

If you just need Just you'd need three people in the water to swim over to where you were to make sure you were fine. Yeah. Because that's what they do. They always have three or three or four people to swim right over to make sure you're okay.

[Rowan]

I would assume if you could go either way on the Brooklyn Bridge, I'm assuming you could live. Or like, where you could easily just belly flop and explode.

[Francis]

I don't think it's explode on impact. I think it's low enough. That watermelon on concrete, your.

[Rowan]

Your skin would peel back.

[Musical Guest]

Back.

[Harry]

Yeah. It would be like a Merry Melodies cartoon.

[Rowan]

If you jumped from the Brooklyn Bridge and you landed full starfish, you would explode.

[Harry]

No, the sound that would make it wouldn't.

[Rowan]

There wouldn't be a sound. It would be like you never existed. It would be. It would just be gone. But if you did, like, I'm sure there's a proper form where you can prevent that from happening.

[Harry]

If you break the surface tension somehow.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Roller skate.

[Francis]

Do you think that those people who are going to kill themselves off the bridges throw a rock down first to have the ripple so that they can gauge how much time it takes?

[Rowan]

No, probably not.

[Harry]

No. They throw the. And if it does take too much time, then they won't do it because it won't actually work.

[Francis]

You think they're not yelling, send it right before they jump.

[Harry]

Geronimo.

[Rowan]

The ones where they throw the GoPro with the person.

[Harry]

Those are awesome. I've only seen those in like dive in competitions, but those are really cool. Yeah, I would get scared that I'd throw the GoPro too fast and blow the shot.

[Rowan]

Same.

[Francis]

I wonder if being a YouTuber cliff diver is more dangerous than being a wing soup base jumper. It looks like it would be. Maybe you're not dying as often, I think, but the injury rate seems higher.

[Harry]

But all of the cliff. All of the wingsuit guys die. It's like just a matter of time.

[Rowan]

I think that's. I think it is kind of like. Like free soloing.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's. You're either dead or you're alive.

[Rowan]

You're either doing it or you're dead.

[Francis]

Yeah. Whereas cliff diving, you're gonna. You'll get hurt, but you're not dead.

[Rowan]

I. I don't know enough about cliff diving, but I would assume cliff diving, maybe you just hang up the. The water shoes at some point.

[Francis]

A lot of these videos, some of.

[Rowan]

These videos, it's like stick to like a diving board.

[Francis]

They show the. They show the video and then the caption is like six paragraphs about the 19 months he spent recovering.

[Rowan]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Francis]

He's like, this was the last time I remember having a pelvis.

[Harry]

And for the cliff diving.

[Francis]

Yeah, man.

[Harry]

They do it and they shatter their pelvis.

[Francis]

What, six broken ribs, a collapsed lung, if not for the grace of God.

[Rowan]

Like, I actually take back what I said completely. I think free soloing makes more sense than this dumbass jumping off things. Yeah. Cuz at least free soloing, it's like a. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Feels like it's got to be way harder than just jumping off of something. B, like, they're like the whole, like, I do it for the adrenaline, the rush. At least when you're climbing something that's lasting for like four hours. And when you're jumping off of something, so you're. You're doing that all for.

[Harry]

I think it's human to want to conquer a peak. Like, jumping off of stuff doesn't seem like. I don't know, it does. It doesn't seem like a natural want that you would have.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Like, it seems counterintuitive to instincts. Like, but, like, instinctually, like, yeah, I want to get to the top of that. I want to conquer that. But, like, jumping off is.

[Rowan]

You're taking it back.

[Harry]

Just don't get jumping off.

[Francis]

Yeah, I was going to say that. The thing I have an issue with in this argument is that rock climbing is exactly the same thing, but theoretically safe. So you choosing to do the same activity without ropes has no comparison in cliff jumping. But then I thought, well, that's the equivalent maybe to just jumping in feet first versus doing a death dive.

[Rowan]

What. What is a death. It's a death.

[Francis]

That's what we're describing. That's that when you go on, it's basically you make it seem like you're doing a belly flop. Yeah.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But instead you, at the last second, you pound the water with your hands.

[Harry]

Awesome. When you watch. Have you ever watched the college diving, like, wacky competitions where they're all like, death diving? Like, the guys who are on the diving.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And they all do that shit. That is fucking insane. Those have to be the people who are doing it. Like, people who are already divers who are like. Yeah.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It's not just someone who has a crazy death.

[Francis]

You'd think so. But the guy that I follow on Instagram who seems to be the king of all this stuff is, like, wearing billabong board shorts and has long blonde hair. He does not have A diver's body. I don't know if you've seen diver's body.

[Harry]

Oh, they're great.

[Francis]

They're twinks.

[Rowan]

Yeah. They're tiny.

[Francis]

Absolutely delicious otter twinks.

[Harry]

Incredible, delicious packages.

[Francis]

Not a hair on their bodies. I'm talking nipples. So small, but tight packages, like so small balls.

[Harry]

You can't even do it.

[Francis]

Correct.

[Rowan]

I couldn't do it.

[Harry]

Your balls are turned into a parachute on the way down.

[Francis]

It is, though. That is a perky penis.

[Harry]

You got penis.

[Francis]

Not hard, but not droopy at all.

[Rowan]

Yeah, I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm struggling on this squirrel suit verse diving.

[Harry]

I, I mean, I, I, I don't know why. So what would you do?

[Rowan]

What would you do in order squirrel suit, death dive, free solo.

[Harry]

Free solo.

[Francis]

First death dive for me.

[Harry]

Because the point of a free solo is to get to the top.

[Rowan]

Mine's squirrel suit so that I don't have to death dive or free solo.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Harry]

You'll die.

[Francis]

Are you saying evaporated with training in each of them or you say today?

[Rowan]

Yeah, assuming you, you can train for them. I don't really know how one trains for the squirrel suit, though. Like, that's kind of just you. You're off. Figure it out.

[Francis]

You do a bunch of boring parachute jumps.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And then you jump out of a plane with one on.

[Harry]

Really?

[Francis]

Yeah. You can jump out of a plane with a squirrel suit on.

[Rowan]

Does it have a parachute with it?

[Francis]

Yeah, of course. They all have parachutes. Oh.

[Rowan]

I thought it was kind of just one of those things where you, like, got to come in, you got to come in low and then pull up at the end.

[Francis]

And one guy. Like a bird on the water.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

There's one guy who did land in a big, huge pile of boxes.

[Rowan]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

He's the only successful guy to ever do it, I think. Yeah.

[Harry]

There were 20 guys who tried.

[Francis]

Oh, no. There's one other guy who jumped out of a plane and landed on a net. You seen that video?

[Rowan]

Well, there's the guy that jumped out of the spaceship and landed on an ad for Red.

[Francis]

He had a parachute.

[Rowan]

Yeah. No.

[Francis]

Yes, dude.

[Harry]

The guy dropped out. You're thinking of two different rebel competitions. One guy jumped without the parachute, and then another guy jumped from the guy that. With the parachute.

[Rowan]

The guy that jumped without the parachute. He goes down deep into the net, right?

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. And he's flipping over at the last second to keep checking that his alignment.

[Harry]

Right.

[Francis]

And he's like, I got it. No, wait. Do I have it? No, I got it. I got it. I gotta look one more time.

[Rowan]

Yeah. No one's ever been that deep in a net.

[Francis]

It's like me parallel parking.

[Rowan]

It literally looks like the tip of a condom.

[Harry]

Reservoir.

[Francis]

Huge look.

[Harry]

Oh, my God. And me saying that I wouldn't want a free solo is very rich. Considering I can't do six pull ups.

[Rowan]

I don't know if I can do two pull ups.

[Harry]

I believe it can you, but not seven. Just kidding, bro. Of course we're doing seven. Can you seven? Yeah. It depends on the grip, folks.

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[Harry]

All right, guys, let's take a second and talk about Roman roast barks are a 2 in 1 prescription treatment for stronger, harder erections, if you know what I mean. Do you get what I'm putting down?

[Rowan]

I get what you were putting down.

[Harry]

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[Rowan]

Loved it. And you're five out of five.

[Harry]

And that's from the horse's mouth. Back to the show. Inches, you dog.

[Francis]

I did some girl math yesterday with my workout. So, you know, I live upstate now.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And so sometimes I forget to bring all the proper things that I need for the big city because, like, I don't really know the city that well anymore, you know?

[Harry]

Well, it's changed so much. It has.

[Francis]

It's just I get totally overwhelmed and I don't pack correctly and I, you know, so I came down to the city and I forgot to bring workout clothes because I thought I was going to be able to go home to my. My, like, every so often. Home.

[Rowan]

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

[Francis]

My apartment.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Which I still keep, but kind of.

[Rowan]

Just your touch base. Your touch.

[Francis]

It's really just a storage unit at this point.

[Rowan]

Just a hangout spot.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

So just a good place to get lunch.

[Francis]

But we had a bit. We had a busy day yesterday. We had a lot going on. I had a lot of stuff I had to do. Oh.

[Rowan]

He kept on saying. I was like, I think I just did the podcast.

[Francis]

Did the podcast. And then I shot with Dana. And then I had to do another thing. And then I had to go see the big dermatologist, who, by the way, can I just say, I got to the doctor's office. I had researched this person, this guy, he went to Yale. I was all impressed with his credentials. Yale medical school.

[Rowan]

Wouldn't let a Yale man yell. Yeah, you got it.

[Harry]

You got it.

[Rowan]

Keep going. A little bit of a tongue twister there.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That's why my man is stroking out. He said, your. Your skin looks crimson, my man.

[Francis]

Yeah, I went to see this guy, and they were like, the doctor's not here, but you'll be seeing his physician's assistant.

[Rowan]

Oh, a Dartmouth guy.

[Harry]

Hey, Baiton switched you with a brown man.

[Francis]

And I was like, wait a minute. What I chose this office specifically for.

[Rowan]

Yeah, but that's kind of going to the. I've had a doctor in New York for two years now. I've never met him. I've only met his assistant, Cornell. Yeah, I wish Pace.

[Harry]

Fit. Yeah, no, offensive. I know you go to fit.

[Francis]

Do you go to fit? Wow. Not a huge medical program there, is there? No, no.

[Harry]

Kind of the joke.

[Rowan]

Yeah, that was the joke.

[Francis]

I was dumbass trying to soften it for her. After we insulted her background, I almost.

[Harry]

Went to Pace getting a. Going in for a dermatology appointment, and the person just roasting your fit would be fun.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rowan]

Let's get these clothes quick.

[Francis]

So I do the. I now I have the physician's resistance, and I'm wearing. I'm wearing the rope open backwards. Right.

[Rowan]

And assless Japs.

[Francis]

I had gone in saying, I guess if I'm here, then I want to do the full body scan.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And so now I'm committed to the full body scan, which means you get totally naked, and they look at you.

[Rowan]

Closely, head to toe. Do they look at your.

[Francis]

No, they didn't spread the cheeks, which I was kind of disappointed with because I was like, well, if we're gonna go the whole nine yards, we. We might as well.

[Harry]

You bleached and waxed.

[Francis]

I hadn't.

[Harry]

Oh, God. And you wanted to see them to see that. You voyeur.

[Rowan]

If I get bleach on my scrubs, I'm gonna feel like an asshole.

[Francis]

So anyway, she does the check. By the way, she didn't tell me that I'm sitting in the chair and she's doing my upper body and all this. And then she's like, okay, you can lift the robe now. And I started to stand up, and she's like, you don't have to stand up. I'm sitting slouched, which is the worst.

[Harry]

A penis can look.

[Francis]

And she's like, you don't have to stand up. And I was like, can I? And she's like, no, no. Just whatever. Be comfortable. So I had to lift this up, and my dick and balls were just. It was as if.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

They were all dead. They were dead. It was this on. It was terrible.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. Visual shot in the car. And you opened the door and they fell out.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

Sitting down. Dick and balls.

[Francis]

Oh, just. Just like a. A.

[Harry]

You said she.

[Rowan]

Yeah. Why didn't you request a dude?

[Francis]

I had. I had a dude.

[Rowan]

The Yale man.

[Francis]

Yeah. And then it was his physician's assistant, his hot assistant.

[Harry]

And he said he's not looking at any Harvard today. Sending the assistant.

[Francis]

Yeah. But she actually ended up doing a good job. She. I don't know. She seemed like she know what she was talking about.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Rowan]

How does she do a good job?

[Francis]

She kept it professional.

[Rowan]

As opposed to what, you thought she was gonna suck you off?

[Francis]

I had. I had that run through my mind.

[Rowan]

Oh, thank God I got out of there without getting sucked five stars.

[Harry]

There are a couple of dubious moments such.

[Francis]

And go there for a little bit. But neither did she touch. And then she went anyway. So I did that. Why did I talk about this? Oh, the gym really quick. So I didn't bring. Because of all that, I didn't get to go home. Which meant that at 6 o' clock I had a 7:45 spot at the stand and I. There's a gym that I can go to here in the city and I couldn't get home. So I was like, well, I'm just gonna go buy. I need to work out. So I'm gonna go buy workout clothes. Yeah, I went to Paragon Sports and I bought a pair of shorts right.

[Rowan]

Out of your account.

[Francis]

Yeah, I bought a pair a shirt. I brought some workout shoes and here's a new socks.

[Rowan]

Interesting question for you. Do they have fishing stuff there?

[Francis]

Surely I would bet that they do.

[Rowan]

They. Every time I look up fishing stores in New York that comes up and I look at the website, I'm like, there's just no way.

[Francis]

Don't look at their website. You got to go in.

[Rowan]

It's all like running clothes.

[Francis]

No, no, they have ski gear.

[Rowan]

Oh, really?

[Francis]

They've got like. So it's like a full long boards. They got a huge tenn section.

[Rowan]

Okay, I'll check it out.

[Francis]

Soccer, basketball, every sport you can think.

[Rowan]

Maybe they do a fishing.

[Francis]

Well, I went in there, I bought all this stuff and I. It was like, that's why you ask. Expensive seemed really dumb given that we are sponsored by Vori. Like I should be, you know, whatever.

[Harry]

So what was last second?

[Francis]

Yeah, so I. And I was like, oh, I've just spent all this money. Now I need to make up for it by Working out so hard.

[Rowan]

This has to be a $200 workout that I earn.

[Francis]

The outfit that I bought and I worked out to the point of injury.

[Harry]

What did you do?

[Francis]

Dude, I was doing like an overhead press circuit and my shoulder just popped.

[Harry]

Oh, like out of soccer?

[Francis]

No, not out of socket. Just like all of a sudden the muscle just gave up. And I went.

[Harry]

Maybe that was just. It wasn't lifting into failure. Does it still hurt? It's just been failure.

[Francis]

Does hurt a little.

[Harry]

How is your maybe your first time experiencing failure?

[Rowan]

You might be out first. Up for commission. Out of commission for the summer?

[Francis]

Never.

[Rowan]

Body's going to deflate fast.

[Francis]

I can still cast with one hand.

[Harry]

A left hand. Single left handed cast.

[Rowan]

And I hate to see those shoulders deflate.

[Francis]

Unicaster.

[Rowan]

Are you going to still work and keep working the left one?

[Francis]

Yeah, why not? That's a myth, by the way.

[Rowan]

What?

[Harry]

That.

[Francis]

That if you break your arm, you shouldn't lift the other arm because it'll like make your body lopsided.

[Harry]

You.

[Rowan]

I mean, I've seen dudes who have.

[Harry]

Those are the guys who like, disabled.

[Rowan]

Arm and then their right arm is just fucking shredded.

[Francis]

Rafael Nadal, what's it.

[Harry]

He's a disability.

[Francis]

His left hand is so much more jacked than his right.

[Rowan]

Did you just say that? That's a myth.

[Francis]

That's not because he broke his arm. It's because he plays tennis and he hits with one hand.

[Rowan]

Yeah, but if you were to break your arm and you were to work out one arm for two months, say recovery.

[Francis]

No, people say you shouldn't do it because it's bad for your body. That's the myth.

[Rowan]

I see that.

[Harry]

It will leave you lopsided.

[Rowan]

Still not sure we're on the same page.

[Francis]

We never are.

[Harry]

Well, you're talking about a full disability. You're talking about someone who loses ability in their arm and then they.

[Rowan]

I'm thinking of the. I'm thinking of the family guy meme.

[Harry]

Yeah, the one where it's like different colors of shades of people races.

[Francis]

No, I'm thinking guy who jerks off.

[Rowan]

So much mass is the neighbor with massive. With the massive arm.

[Harry]

Oh, the chicken that he fights.

[Rowan]

All right, never mind.

[Harry]

Peter Griffin.

[Rowan]

Now chicken. Who's Peter Griffin's neighbor?

[Harry]

Gio?

[Rowan]

I don't know.

[Harry]

Cleveland.

[Rowan]

Yeah, Cleveland. No, Cleveland's the black dude.

[Francis]

Who's the horny guy? Yeah, Quagmire.

[Rowan]

Quagmire. You've never seen Quagmire with the one jacked arm and the other arm's just Like a noodle.

[Harry]

That makes sense because he's been jacking off so much.

[Francis]

Is that why it is?

[Rowan]

Yes.

[Francis]

Are you sure it's not because he's working out one arm and the other one was broken?

[Harry]

I think that there's a chance that Rafael Nadal only plays tennis to cover up for his furious masturbation habits. It that he jerks off so much that it got his arm jacked, and he's like, I need to justify this. Somehow I'll become the best tennis player in the world. Because you're right. None of the other tennis players have that.

[Rowan]

No. And it's all. Works out regularly. Swinging a tennis racket's not gonna.

[Harry]

Yeah. Swinging something that's £0.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I'll show you this picture.

[Harry]

He's probably a furious masturbate 100, which breaks my heart.

[Rowan]

Breaks my.

[Harry]

I'm disgusted. I will pray for him.

[Rowan]

Always been more of a retention man. Fish Guy.

[Harry]

Fishing?

[Rowan]

No. Who's the guy?

[Harry]

Oh, Marty Fish.

[Rowan]

Marty Fish. Always been more of a Marty Fish guy, personally.

[Francis]

Yeah. Jack Sock is my favorite because reminds me of how I like to finish.

[Harry]

Jack in a Sock. Gorgeous.

[Rowan]

Sock in the Box.

[Harry]

Andy Ride Dick is mine.

[Francis]

Nice.

[Rowan]

Very funny.

[Harry]

Because he likes to ride cocks.

[Rowan]

Marty Fish.

[Harry]

Who's the bro that won this weekend? Wimbledon?

[Francis]

Sinner.

[Harry]

Sinner.

[Francis]

That's Nadal Center, AKA steroids.

[Harry]

Oh, but that's an angle thing.

[Rowan]

That's an angle.

[Francis]

No, it's not.

[Rowan]

Center had a little bit of a roid scandal, didn't he?

[Francis]

Yeah, he did.

[Harry]

It's so. It's actually so nasty that when you look down the pipe of an arm, no matter how jacked you are, it looks skinny. I saw a picture of Saquon Barkley, a still image of him running, and, like, one of his arms was, like, straight at the camera, and it, like, looked skinny left to right. And I'm like, I know that he's huge.

[Rowan]

I heard he's lost some weight in the off season.

[Harry]

He's down to 160.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Saguan Barkley. Seeing if he could do it at 160 after being 240 last year, I'm.

[Rowan]

Fully back in on ball.

[Francis]

Was he 240?

[Harry]

Yeah, probably five eight, maybe five ten.

[Rowan]

I don't think he's five eight. Five eight is pretty. Is he five eight?

[Harry]

But Barry Sanders was.

[Rowan]

He's five eight and he's hurtling over people. That's.

[Francis]

Six feet tall.

[Rowan]

He might be five eight.

[Harry]

He would say six one if he was actually six.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

So he's definitely in the fives.

[Francis]

233.

[Harry]

And that's what he's listed at. So, you know, he was having a couple extra uncrustables.

[Rowan]

Slamming someone crustables before the Super Bowl. How did you think the. I personally, I was, I was thinking about it recently at the going to the Super Bowl. I think the Chief's walkout was, was way better than the Eagles. Like, didn't you think the Chiefs walk out was kind of bad? Like, did you was part of you.

[Harry]

Not like, I don't remember their walkout.

[Rowan]

They came out to the, the horns, whatever that song is.

[Harry]

The vuvuzel.

[Rowan]

Yeah, whatever it is. But everyone, everyone was booing and they had the, they had like, it looked.

[Francis]

Like they were first time for Africa.

[Rowan]

That was one of the Eagles. The Eagles came out to what, dreams and nightmares?

[Harry]

No, that's what they did last time against the Patriots when they beat them. They came out to dreams and nightmares and the Patriots came out to Crazy train.

[Rowan]

Oh, really?

[Harry]

It was like, oh, yeah, we're going to win. We have the culture on our side.

[Francis]

Yeah, our musician is in prison.

[Rowan]

Yeah, they came out to something. It was sick. But I remember the boo.

[Harry]

I just remember the booing. And I remember being like, oh, we got the crowd on our side.

[Rowan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I saw there was a video of Lane Johnson this morning. He loaded 720 pounds onto what looked like an actual weight rack and just picked the rack up on his shoulders and was like, farmer carrying it. It was the most manly thing I'd ever seen in my life. Life.

[Francis]

The weights that they lift don't, they don't make sense to me. I, I, it's insane. You ever try what's like the most weight in any lift that you've ever tried to lift?

[Harry]

5. Look at that. That's so much. And he's just walking it like 40 yards, 710 pounds and just walking around with it.

[Rowan]

And I mean, that's like a car.

[Francis]

This is why none of these guys can walk when they're 48 years old.

[Harry]

He said he's in better shape now than he had been.

[Francis]

He is. But all that's going to catch up to him. They're just wearing away the cartilage in every single joint to the point where they're, you know, they're going to be cartilage free.

[Harry]

I mean, he could be a wrestler. He'd be such a sick wrestler.

[Francis]

Harry, what is the most weight you've ever tried to lift of any type, on any type of lift?

[Harry]

I don't know.

[Rowan]

To be honest, I mean, I. The most I've ever lifted and succeeded was deadlifting. 225.

[Harry]

Let's go.

[Rowan]

I don't think I've ever tried anything above 225.

[Francis]

Right.

[Rowan]

I might have tried to deadlift like 285 once.

[Francis]

Right. So take. Take that number and remember how hard that was where you were like, I.

[Rowan]

Did four reps. All right.

[Francis]

But you're like. So then you probably could have done 275 or something like that.

[Rowan]

Yeah, right.

[Harry]

I know.

[Rowan]

I think I tried and I could.

[Francis]

Well, then remember that.

[Harry]

Think of the hardest thing you've ever done. Well, it wasn't actually hard.

[Francis]

Now multiply that by.

[Rowan]

Yeah, three. Yeah. It's insane.

[Francis]

That's what those guys are like doing sets at.

[Rowan]

It's insane.

[Francis]

£600.

[Harry]

Yeah. 3. Xing it. Instead of like legitimately adding to what you did, you would have to add like 10 to it and it would make it way harder.

[Francis]

You're.

[Harry]

We added 300. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. Your lift is their warm up.

[Rowan]

No, it's not even there.

[Harry]

Not even.

[Rowan]

Yeah, their lift is like, if I went to curl like the tens and I was like, this is working on form.

[Harry]

I'm going to go physical therapy.

[Francis]

I'm going to go walk the neighborhood.

[Rowan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

And catch up with my girlfriend.

[Musical Guest]

Yeah.

[Francis]

My gal pal. All right, cool.

[Harry]

All right. Actually, I have a request to people, Please. If you're in New York City this weekend, I'm doing the nicest again, which is compliment rap battles. The last time we did it, it was so fun. If you're in New York, come by. Tickets are less than $30. It's on Saturday. You could probably pull up and get a ticket or get tickets on barstool or any of my socials. I'm linking them all over the place. Please come through. It will be just so fun. I'm not even like trying to sell tickets to make money off of it. I want to sell tickets so just people can witness it. It's awesome. It's a great time. If people from Son of a Boy dad come, I'm handing out hand jobs, so pull through.

[Francis]

Nice. I'll be in the Hamptons on Friday at Canoe in place or something. Canoe Place Inn One show tickets at Punchup Live rates itself.

[Harry]

Are you doing Hampton's esque material?

[Francis]

Sure. I'll curate a little bit.

[Harry]

Why do they call it the Surf Lodge if no one's surfing? If you can't swag surf in the Surf Lodge. Something, Something there.

[Francis]

There's something there. Harry. Sorry.

[Rowan]

I was reading nasty comments about myself.

[Francis]

Good.

[Harry]

What are they saying? That you suck. Suck? At video games? Yeah.

[Rowan]

At Call of Duty and whatever.

[Harry]

They don't know if you suck at Call of Duty. They've only. I mean, they've seen your highlight tapes. Why would you suck?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Harry]

That's like watching Kobe be sick at basketball. Exactly. And then being like, you suck at basketball.

[Rowan]

I mean, look, I think Will Chamberlain didn't. Didn't put up a hundred.

[Harry]

Right? Exactly. Exactly.

[Rowan]

Guys like us, we got to go through it. It's all about resilience.

[Harry]

Hey, they not like us, if you know what I mean.

[Rowan]

They not like us.

[Francis]

All right. See you guys on Monday.

[Rowan]

Or Tuesday.

[Musical Guest]

Goodbye was over still, still underground so I looked older to you Came around I was only falling one way.

[Francis]

I.

[Musical Guest]

Was only falling one way I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way did you realize no one can take me I was only falling one way Sam, that is to your eyes did you realize no one could take me alive?