Soul Sessions | Jungian Coaching Podcast by CreativeMind

Episode: How to Be Effective as an Emotionally-Sensitive Coach

Hosts: Debra Berndt Maldonado & Robert Maldonado, PhD

Release Date: February 3, 2025

Overview

This episode concludes the series on the Big Five personality traits, focusing on neuroticism—reframed here as "emotional sensitivity"—and its critical role in both coaching practice and personal growth. Debra and Robert explore the deeper meaning of emotions from Jungian and Eastern spiritual perspectives, discussing how understanding, embracing, and skillfully working with one's own emotional landscape is vital for effective coaching. Practical insights, memorable metaphors, and actionable advice are weaved throughout, aiming to de-stigmatize emotional sensitivity and promote self-awareness as the foundation of transformational coaching.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Redefining Neuroticism: Emotional Sensitivity

• Neuroticism's Real Meaning:
  • Robert explains, "It simply means emotional sensitivity. That's what it really, it's measuring... emotional awareness, resilience... and in Jungian terms, shadow integration" [01:20].
• Destigmatizing Emotional Sensitivity:
  • Debra challenges the common view that sensitivity is weakness, emphasizing its potential as a coaching superpower:
    "We want to take the stigma away from being emotional... How do we bring in that resilience and... be open to emotions of others and not take them on ourselves?" [02:14].

2. The Function and Value of Emotions

• Meaning-Making Mechanisms:
  • Robert: "They're the meaning making function of our mind. It's how we make meaning of life... If we didn't have emotions, we wouldn't have that sense of what things mean to us." [03:10]
• All Emotions Have Purpose:
  • Both hosts stress that negative emotions like anger, shame, or guilt are not toxic but serve adaptive functions if understood and processed [03:41].

3. Coaching as an Empathic, Self-Aware Practice

• Sensitivity as Strength:
  • Debra: "I think that's why I was drawn to coaching because I felt people's pain... understanding, like compassionate... it helped me have more compassion for people—even difficult people." [04:00]
• Respect for All Emotions:
  • "We don't want to run away from grief...Every emotion, even if it feels heavy and dark, it has a beautiful light in it." [05:12]

4. Overcoming Fear of Difficult Emotions

• Expanding Capacity for Discomfort:
  • Many coaches fear opening up emotional "cans of worms". Robert notes: "If we don't understand what emotions are, we are afraid of them. We fear the unknown. But the more we study them... the more we can go there." [07:11]
• Subjectivity of Emotional Experience:
  • Emotions reflect personal interpretation, not objective reality. "We can help the client change what meaning they've ascribed to those situations, those experiences." [08:13]
• Symbolic Approach in Jungian Coaching:
  • Emotional experiences are symbolic—coaches can guide clients in creatively working with the symbolic aspects beyond mere narrative or sensation [08:38].

5. Self-Awareness, Witnessing, and Transcendence

• The "Witness Mind":
  • Robert introduces the concept of witness consciousness: "There's something behind the experience of the emotion that is untouched by the emotion. That's the witness mind... able to observe and work with any emotion, regardless of how difficult, and not be caught up in it." [10:18]
• Metaphor of the River:
  • Debra: "Imagine you're standing on the bank of a river... the stream is your thoughts and emotions... you always have the chance to step on... the bank again and just watch it in non-attachment." [11:02]
• Beyond Coping—Toward Creative Transformation:
  • They highlight using emotions not just for regulation but as resources for creative transformation [11:02-12:28].

6. Empowerment Through Understanding the Psyche

• Jungian and Eastern Views:
  • "The more you're willing and able to look at your own mind, the freer, the more empowered you become..." [12:28]
  • Unconscious emotions and mind are not to be feared but respected and explored; ignoring the unconscious is more detrimental than engaging with it [13:55].

7. Coach’s Self-Work and Boundaries

• Avoiding Emotional Enmeshment:
  • Debra: "If you, as a coach, don't examine your emotions... you get sucked in... your stuff, the counter transference gets enmeshed with their clients and then you're kind of both in this state again... The more the coach can develop their own emotional intelligence... the better coach they're going to be." [14:50]
• Practical Metaphor:
  • Like rescuing a drowning person—don't get pulled under, but offer steady support from the shore [14:50].

8. Self-Awareness as the Keystone for Coaches

• Continued Growth:
  • Robert: "The key to neuroticism is self-awareness for both coach and client..." [16:19]
  • Debra adds the need for coaches to receive ongoing supervision/mentoring: "Coaches need to have a coach... you're constantly like seeing yourself reflected in your client, your own stuff... and if you don't have someone to get you out of that situation... you'll get lost again." [16:39]

9. Personality Traits as Changeable Masks

• Traits Are Not Fixed:
  • Robert: "Now the key from the Jungian model is to understand that these are not fixed traits. You can change a personality because again, it's simply a mask or a role that we're playing in society." [17:45]
• Individuation Process:
  • "Self-actualization, self-examination... begins to undo the binding of this conditioning so that we start to make real choices for ourselves. That's the individuation process." [18:50]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Power of Emotional Sensitivity:

  • "If you are emotionally sensitive and you can really pick up... what other people are feeling... I think it's a very powerful thing." — Debra [02:14]

• On Grief and Love:

  • "How beautiful this grief was because it really is an act of love." — Debra [05:12]

• On Emotions as Meaning-Making:

  • "It's how we make meaning of life... If we didn't have emotions, we wouldn't have that sense of what things mean to us." — Robert [03:10]

• On Self-Awareness and the Witness Mind:

  • "Once people understand that principle, they're free from the conditioning effect of the interpretations that their mind has made about their past experiences." — Robert [10:18]

• Practical River Metaphor:

  • "The stream is going by with the rocks. And that rush of water and stream is your thoughts and emotions... You always have the chance to step on, go on the bank again and just watch it in non-attachment..." — Debra [11:02]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:20 — Defining neuroticism as emotional sensitivity
• 02:14 — Emotional sensitivity as a coaching strength
• 03:10 — Emotions as meaning-making functions
• 04:00–04:56 — Debra's personal experience: empathy and compassion in coaching
• 07:06–08:13 — Subjectivity of emotions; helping clients shift interpretations
• 10:18–11:02 — Witness consciousness and transcending conditioning
• 14:50 — Emotional enmeshment and metaphor of rescuing a drowning client
• 16:19–16:39 — Ongoing self-awareness and supervision for coaches
• 17:45–18:50 — Personality traits as changeable and the process of individuation

Takeaways for Emotionally-Sensitive Coaches

• Embrace emotional sensitivity as a core skill, not a drawback.
• See emotions as meaningful, subjective experiences that can be creatively engaged—not pathologized or avoided.
• Self-awareness and ongoing self-work are essential for coaches; having your own coach or supervisor is recommended.
• Use awareness of your own emotions to skillfully support, rather than merge with, your clients’ emotional experiences.
• All emotions, even those deemed "negative", are valuable invitations to self-understanding and growth.

The theme throughout the episode is that coaches—and all individuals—can leverage emotional sensitivity as a powerful resource when combined with self-awareness, symbolic understanding, and empowerment through a Jungian lens. The potential is not just for coping, but for transformation and individuation, for both coach and client.