Introverts Guide to Coaching: Big Five Personality Traits

Summary

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Soul Sessions | Jungian Coaching Podcast by CreativeMind

Episode: Introverts Guide to Coaching: Big Five Personality Traits
Hosts: Debra Berndt Maldonado & Robert Maldonado, PhD
Date: January 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Debra Berndt Maldonado and Dr. Rob Maldonado explore the concept of extroversion and introversion through the lens of the Big Five personality traits. They tackle how these personality factors affect aspiring coaches—especially those who are naturally introverted—in building their coaching business, marketing themselves, and establishing deep client connections. Drawing from Jungian psychology, the hosts emphasize the importance of individuation and going beyond personality conditioning to authentically serve others through coaching.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding Extroversion and Introversion

Timestamp: 01:01–03:27

• Extroversion in the Big Five is measured on a spectrum of comfort with social engagement—public speaking, networking, etc.
• Debra shares her personal journey of realizing she’s more of an introvert, appreciating solitude rather than large social gatherings.
• Many who are drawn to depth coaching/self-exploration are naturally introverted—preferring reading, self-reflection, and quietude over social activities.
• Core insight: Introverts can still succeed as coaches; it's not about changing their nature, but about how they relate to their social energy.

"Introverts ... don't get your energy from people. You ... get fueled by your own self."
—Debra Berndt Maldonado (03:27)

2. Differentiating Healthy Expression from Ego-Driven Motivation

Timestamp: 04:44–06:42

• The problem arises if introversion is used as a protective cocoon (avoiding discomfort or fear of judgment).
• Extroverts can operate from ego if primarily driven by the need for external validation.
• The ideal is to consciously choose when to “put yourself out there” for higher purpose, not from need or ego.
• Jung as an example: Despite being introverted, he lectured publicly to fulfill his mission, not driven by external praise.

"You have to individuate to be able to choose to put yourself out there without feeling that you're betraying your true nature."
—Dr. Rob Maldonado (02:44)

"In order for us to be successful and actually impact lives, we have to cultivate our desire for extroversion ... but it has to be for a higher purpose."
—Debra Berndt Maldonado (04:47)

3. The Persona and Authentic Engagement

Timestamp: 08:05–09:32

• Jungian concept: The Persona (social mask) is not the real self; it's a role we play that can be either introverted or extroverted.
• Coaches should recognize when they're operating from Persona versus true self, and strive for authentic choice, not compulsion.
• Social media can be a tool for introverts to connect without overwhelming real-life social demands.

"The Persona is simply a mask ... it's not the real you, that's simply the role that you're playing in a particular situation."
—Dr. Rob Maldonado (08:05)

4. Impact on the Coaching Relationship

Timestamp: 09:32–11:34

• If a coach is too introverted and withholds their inner life, it can block deep connection with clients.
• Extreme extroverts may overpower sessions, talking more about themselves and forgetting to listen.
• True coaching mastery involves individuation: getting ego out of the way, balancing listening and sharing, and cultivating genuine rapport.

"If you have that rapport with your clients, that will get you further than any theory, any technique ..."
—Dr. Rob Maldonado (10:05)

5. Depth Psychology: Navigating Ego and Shadow

Timestamp: 11:34–13:41

• It's a "house of mirrors": coaches and clients project and reflect off each other's conscious/unconscious material.
• The more self-aware the coach, the more potent the transformation for both parties.
• Integrating strengths and shadows (the opposite pole of one's dominant personality) is essential for growth.

"It's a house of mirrors ... we have to consider our own conscious and unconscious and the client's conscious and unconscious."
—Dr. Rob Maldonado (11:34)

6. Practical Coaching Tips for Introverts

Timestamp: 13:41–17:13

• Listen deeply, but don't disappear—introverted coaches need to assert themselves, interject, and risk asking challenging questions.
• The path forward: transcend personality labels, step out of ego, focus on service and the client’s needs.
• At CreativeMind, most trainees start as introverts and transform into confident, eloquent practitioners ready to be seen authentically.

"Instead of depending on that conditioning about whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert ... understand it's not about me, it's about helping my clients."
—Dr. Rob Maldonado (14:32)

"...when you get your ego out of the way, you're able to be more intuitive, more connected. And the client feels it."
—Debra Berndt Maldonado (15:16)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Choice vs. Conditioning:
  "It doesn't matter what your personal preference are ... you can reach a point in your development where you see it as a choice..."
  —Dr. Rob Maldonado (05:55)

• On Social Media for Introverts:
  "...social media ... actually easier to post a video or post something than actually go meet people and be extroverted in the 3D world. So it is interesting how we have to make a decision of am I going to be operating from ego or ...?"
  —Debra Berndt Maldonado (07:25)

• On Transformation:
  "...at the end of the year, it's amazing the transformation that occurs ... someone who is kind of shy and quiet ... then they're doing a very eloquent, articulate video ... they've come out of their shell, so to speak, and they feel empowered."
  —Debra Berndt Maldonado (16:23)

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Key Segment Timestamps

• 01:01 – Introversion and extroversion defined, personal anecdotes
• 02:44 – The importance of individuation and conscious choice
• 04:47 – Doing “the duty” of sharing your message as a coach
• 05:55 – Jung as an example of the introverted, yet visible, leader
• 08:05 – The Persona as social mask versus authentic self
• 09:32 – Effect of coach's personality style on client relationship
• 11:34 – Depth coaching as a house of mirrors
• 13:41 – Balancing listening and assertiveness in sessions
• 14:32 – Stepping out of ego to focus on the client
• 16:23 – Transformation of introverted coaches in training

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Introversion or extroversion is less important than your willingness to individuate—that is, to consciously choose how you engage with others and build your coaching practice.
• Use personality tendencies as tools, not limits; integrate their opposites for authentic growth.
• Focus on serving your clients over protecting your ego. Success comes from genuine connection, not personality labels.
• Transformation is possible—embrace your path, and with the right inner work, you’ll step confidently into your role as a coach.

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Transcript

[Narrator]

Welcome to Creative Mind Soul Sessions with Deborah Burndt Maldonado and Dr. Rob Maldonado, founders of CreativeMind. Explore personal growth with us through Jungian psychology, Eastern spirituality, and social neuroscience in a deep but practical way. Let's begin.

[Deborah Maldonado]

Hello. Welcome to another episode of Soul Sessions. We with Creative Mind. I'm Deborah Maldonado.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

I'm Dr. Rob.

[Deborah Maldonado]

And we are here to continue our series on personality and the Persona with relation to the big five test Personality test. And today we're talking about extroversion, which is everyone's favorite topic. And y. So before we begin, do want to remind you to subscribe to our podcast if you haven't already. And also if you're listening to us on YouTube, make sure you subscribe to our channel. And that helps us reach more people and get more people into this work.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah. So extroversion, it's one of those traits or constructs that the big five personality tests come from you, it measures this, this on a scale, right? How comfortable are you putting yourself out there, talking to people, giving public speech, et cetera.

[Deborah Maldonado]

And you know, it's so funny because I always thought I was an extrovert, but when I really looked at it as I got older and you know, in my 30s, I was, I really don't like going out to park clubs and, you know, dancing with my girlfriend. Like, I like staying home. I was so happy writing and I was, this is really more me, the introvert. And. And then when I became a coach, I was terrified because I had to go out and put myself out there. I would get anxiously. I did TV interviews. Remember when we first met, I was on the local news doing TV interviews. I'm like, this is not me. But what I think that I see in a lot of the coaches or people that want to be coaches and build a business is they're so kind of hesitant to put themselves out there because the people that normally like this deeper work depth coaching are more introverted. They like to read, they like to be with themselves. They don't need a big party to feel connected. And so it's like, how do we. How do we build a successful business coaching business? How do we be a successful coach even in the sessions? How. How do we show up if we're so introverted? How do we individuate from that?

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah. So the answer.

[Deborah Maldonado]

What's the answer, Rob?

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

The answer is simple. You have to individuate to be able to choose to put yourself out there without feeling that you're betraying your. Your true nature. Right. If, if, if it's a choice, in other words, instead of, let's say, a need that you, you have to put yourself out there and you feel like you're compromising yourself, then you, you're okay by I'm choosing to do it and I know why I, I need to do it, that it's part of being a successful coach, then you're on much better ground than if you feel you're compromising and betraying your values.

[Deborah Maldonado]

Well, I think here's a really important thing. People who are extra. Let's talk about the difference between extroverts and introverts. Introverts. It doesn't mean you don't like people. It just means you don't get your energy from people. You, you have your energy, you know, you, you get fueled by your own self. Like you can be self efficient, entertain yourself with books and your own life. You know, you don't need a lot of people. And then extroverts are the opposite. They don't like being alone. They, they like more like getting fuel and their energy through other people. So if you think about performers, actors, musicians that want to be on stage, they're very, very into that, like needing that, the praise of others to, to get their, their, their kind of fill. Their, get their fill. And, and so when we are introverts and we are deep people and we're deep thinkers, we don't need to get that attention. But in order for us to be successful and actually impact lives, we have to cultivate our desire for extroversion. So it doesn't have to come from a need to get a lot of people to like you or get that fuel from other people. But it has to be for a higher purpose, don't you think? Like the higher purpose of doing your duty, Doing your duty. Like if, even if you aren't love speaking on stage, you're going to do it because you have a message that needs to get out there and you're going to take it as a personal challenge to do that. But you're not doing it to get him praise and adoration and fuel. You're doing it from another place, which is different than an extrovert who's. It's easy for them. They love being the center of attention and they love getting that attention. But it's coming from more of an ego place and it's not really that higher self.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah, there's a lot to this because if we look at Jung's life himself, he was essentially a very introverted person. Like he loved to spend time on his own in nature, in doing artwork and writing. All our solitary activities, essentially. But he was able to also present his work in thousands of lectures, public lectures, working with students, putting himself in interviews and, and talking to. To people to. To explain his theories. Right.

[Deborah Maldonado]

He.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

In other words, it was something he needed to do if he was going to be a successful psychologist. And it's the same with us. It doesn't matter what your personal preference are. You can, you can reach a point in your development where you see it as a choice that you can choose when you're going to spend time on alone and enjoy it and do your inner work. Right. Be creative, whatever you need to do, but also when it's needed that you can talk to, to people in public and you can promote yourself, you can do videos. You can express yourself in an extroverted way and, and still be true to yourself.

[Deborah Maldonado]

So the extrovert that's unindividuated will be extroverted just for the sake of getting attention or getting that fuel from other people. But the introvert, sometimes it's there they want to stay in their little shell because they're afraid of what people will think. So it's not really that this is who I am and it's more, is there a hesitation for me putting myself out there is. Is my introversion basically a cocoon? A lot of people during COVID said, oh my God, this is an introvert's dream. I don't have to do anything social. I could just stay and hunker down at home and, you know, stay here and be alone, you know, and. And what's interesting too about introversion is that a lot of people have, you know, this little bad wraparound social media, like, oh, I don't want to put myself on social media, but it's actually an introvert introvert's dream. Because it's actually easier to post a video or post something than actually go meet people and be extroverted in the 3D world. So it is interesting how we have to make a decision of am I going to be operating from ego or from or. So whether you're introverted or extroverted, how much am I going to let that my past conditioning dictate how I'm going to be as a coach and even in sessions.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah. The other piece comes from Jung himself also, that the Persona is simply a mask. So when we say introverted or introvert and extrovert, we're simply saying I'm wearing the mask of an Introverted person. I'm wearing the mask of an extroverted person. It's not the real you, it's a. It's a play or an act that you are performing. And that's not the real you, that's simply the role that you're playing in a particular situation.

[Deborah Maldonado]

And so for some people it's very natural to be a performer and to put themselves out there and other people it's very natural to just be peaceful. But then you want to have a bit of both. And so let's talk about. We talked about putting ourselves out there and marketing yourself as a coach and the introverts nightmare is like putting your. A video on Instagram and having people judge you and, or even do public speaking and all those things. But let's talk about the actual coaching itself. And what is introversion and extroversion? How does that affect a relationship with a coach and client? If the coach is introverted or if the coach is extroverted, too extroverted, like too much extreme. How does that affect the actual coaching relationship?

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah, so in very subtle ways it can impact the relationship because if, if you're not willing to share about what your own experiences are. Right. Your own inner life, which often the introverted person feels very protective of their inner life and doesn't let anybody in, then there's often not that deep connection with the client because you're, you're essentially blocking anybody from coming in and getting to know you. You have to be able to give a little bit of yourself and make that human connection with your client. I've always seen that if you have that rapport with your clients that will get you further than any theory, any technique, any amount of time that you have for coaching them.

[Deborah Maldonado]

So it's like that ability to listen. So that can go either way too. Because an extrovert, sometimes all they do is talk about themselves. And this is how I did it. And this is my. They don't have. I'm talking about the extreme. They don't have the sensitivity of. Well, maybe this person has another opinion or they're not listening. They're. It's all about them and being seen and being expressed and not the client. So having that, that medium balance between introvert, extrovert. But I think the most important thing is the individuation of the coach is to not operating from your ego. And that either defensive or. Because both of them could be a defense. Right. The talking about yourself so you can't hear the client. But I also think too a coach Understanding, introvert and extrovert. When it comes to the clients understanding their conditioning and their Persona and knowing that yeah, this person comes across very extroverted, but their shadow is introvert. So how can I integrate more of that introverted part of them to help them reconnect and really be more conscious person?

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

That's true. It is a house of mirrors that we enter when we do depth psychology or depth coaching because we have to consider our own conscious and unconscious and the client's conscious and unconscious. But it, with practice it becomes natural because that's really how our mind works. It reflects and we see the other person through our own lens and they are seeing us through their own perspective. Right. Of who they are. If we understand that the more conscious we are of what is it that we're dealing with when we talk about the psyche, then we're more comfortable in it and it yields great powerful things because we're trusting in something that is like the mystery of nature in the psyche. Jung says the psyche simply your inner nature. Just like the nature that we see out in the universe, it's simply the internal nature that is the psyche. And, and we're working with it, right? We're harmonizing with it. We're, we're trusting in it.

[Narrator]

Are you looking for a satisfying career as a life coach? If you are seeking a deeper path of training and growth, Creativemind University offers an ICF accredited life coach training program that goes beyond surface positive thinking and into a powerful process of real transformation. You can start your new career as a certified life coach trained in a unique methodology based on Jungian theory, Eastern spirituality and social neuroscience. Get the tools to become your true self, change your life and the lives of others. Visit creativemindlife.com click on apply and speak with one of our team members today to discuss your future and possibilities of becoming a certified Life coach. That's creativemindlife.com.

[Deborah Maldonado]

When you think of introvert, extrovert, it's sort of social energy. So it's if you think about the yin and yang, the internal, external. So it's about being in that center where there's a give and take with the client and you're not doing all the talking and they're not just going railroading you. So an introverted coach, I see sometimes their challenges of, you know, kind of inserting themselves in the conversation and it's easy for them to just listen and hear the client and not interject and get them back on track. So it's about being a little extroverted, being willing to put themselves out there and risk even asking a question that could be a little, you know, for the client, maybe like, oh, that's a weird question. But being able to be more assertive in the.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah. So ultimately, what we see the. Of our students, the ones that really successful, it's that they're able to get their ego out of the way.

[Deborah Maldonado]

Yes.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Instead of depending on that conditioning about whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert, they get the. Their ego out of the way and they understand it's not about me, it's about helping my clients. And. And my clients are out there, they're looking for my services, and if I can't get myself out of my own way, they won't be able to find me.

[Deborah Maldonado]

And I think that's really important, Rob, that you just said that because it is true that in coaching, in whether you're doing a consultation, whether you're coaching the client and whether you're marketing your services, like putting yourself on social media or doing a talk, anytime you make it about you clouds the river and you're not really able to be fully expressed. And what I see a lot is when people put their ego in the way, they're more concerned about what the client thinks of them or what the client's feedback's going to be instead of like, I'm going to be there for them. And when you get your ego out of the way, you're able to like, be more intuitive, more connected. And the client feels it. They feel that you're not just trying to be in that preservation mode. When we talk about ego, it's that self preservation, that survival mode that we get in that social survival that stops us from living our dreams. Right?

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

That's right. Yeah. I mean, mine.

[Deborah Maldonado]

Yeah. And I think it's really important. That's why our coaches, when they enter our program, most of them, I would say maybe 80%, are introverted. And then at the end of the year, it's amazing the transformation that occurs.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah. They're ready to go out there and do it.

[Deborah Maldonado]

And they're someone who is kind of shy and quiet and, you know, just the book reader and very smart. And then they're doing a very eloquent, articulate video of explaining a concept and you're just like, wow, like they've come out of their shell, so to speak, and they feel empowered. And it really is because they're being genuine and they're giving themselves another dimension of being versus I'm just going to remain my ego introverted. Way and be stuck there.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

Yeah. So whether you're an introvert, extrovert, it doesn't matter is as long as you do the inner work of transformation individuation, you will be able to then to choose the appropriate response to the appropriate situation.

[Deborah Maldonado]

So to check this, just ask yourself, do I get my fuel from outside of myself from other people or do I get my fuel from inside? And then what would it look like if I integrated a little bit of the opposite into my life?

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

That's right. All right, well, so next time we'll be talking about agreeableness.

[Deborah Maldonado]

The pleaser, my favorite. We'll. We'll see you soon. Take care. We'll see you next week.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

See you next time.

[Deborah Maldonado]

Don't forget to subscribe before we go.

[Dr. Rob Maldonado]

See you soon.

[Narrator]

Thank you for joining us. And don't forget to subscribe to CreativeMind Soul Sessions and join us next week as we explore another deep topic where you can consciously create your life with creative mind Soul Sessions. See you next time.