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Spa Marketing Made Easy | Spa Business Growth
SMME #484 Turning 45: What I'm No Longer Apologizing For (And Why You Shouldn't Either)
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I turned 45 this week. And I know that for some of you, that number probably means nothing. But for me, it landed differently for me this year. This year, 44 was one of the most quietly significant years of my life. Not the loudest, not the most dramatic, but significant in a way that I am still processing. So today, I'm doing what I do every year on my birthday episode. I'm getting off script. I'm not giving you frameworks or strategies or tactics, just me talking to you the way that I would talk to a friend. I love my 40s. I actually did not expect to love them this much. I think I spent most of my 30s bracing for the 40s in the way that you would brace for bad news. And when it arrived, I thought, oh, this is what it feels like to actually know yourself. The 40s are not about having it all figured out. I want to be really clear about that. I still have hard days. I still second guess decisions. I still have weeks where I feel like I'm behind on life. But there's something that shifts in this decade, a kind of permission that you stop waiting for other people to give you. You start giving it to yourself. You know what you like, you know what you don't like. You know what relationships fill you and which ones are draining you, and you become less willing to pretend otherwise. It's not a hardness, it's clarity. And I'm actually grateful for it. So I can't go on without acknowledging part of something in this episode. And it's part of why this birthday felt different. So my dad died when he was 44. And I don't want to linger here because this episode is meant to be a celebration, but I would be leaving something out if I did not name it. So this year, being 44, I was aware, more aware than usual of the gift of ordinary days, more aware of what it means to still be here, to watch my kids grow, to build something that matters. Turning 45 is not just a number for me. It's a milestone that I am genuinely, deeply grateful to reach. So if you've been moving through your life a little on autopilot, treating the ordinary like it's guaranteed, I just want to gently say it's not. And the ordinary is extraordinary if you let it be. Okay, so this is the part of the episode that I really wanted to get to. Every year, I talk about gratitude, life lessons, and what the past year has taught me. And this year, the theme that kept coming up for me over and over was that I'm done apologizing for my life. Not in an arrogant way, not in a way that dismisses other people's experiences or expectations, but in a quiet, grounded, non negotiable way. So here's my list the things I am releasing the apology for. Number one saying no. This one is first, because it's one that I've worked the hardest on. No is a complete sentence and I spent years softening it over, explaining it, cushioning it with so many qualifiers that the no almost disappeared. Not anymore. We can say no with grace. We can say no with kindness. We can acknowledge what someone needs while still being honest that we are not the right person to provide it right now. But the no has to actually be said. Things that are weighing you down, the commitments that are draining you, the relationships that are taking more than they give. They need a no. A real one. And you do not owe anyone an apology for giving it. I'm not apologizing for where I'm at in life. I've arrived at 45, doing well by my own standards, and I want to be honest that those standards are the only ones that matter for me right now. By some measures, I'm behind. There are people my age who are further along, doing more, making more, building more. And by other measures, I'm ahead further than most people expected, further than I sometimes expected for myself. I spent years inside of both of those comparisons. The anxiety of not being enough and the weird guilt of being more than expected. I'm retiring both. I have made sacrifices to get here. I have put myself out there over and over again in years when it was uncomfortable and uncertain and not at all guaranteed to work. I've done the work and I'm comparing myself only to myself now. Last year's Daniella. That's the only competition that is relevant. I'm not apologizing for investing in my business, AKA investing in myself. I've invested significantly in building auto aesthetics, in our programs, in mentorship, in team, in infrastructure, and there have been seasons where that felt hard to justify to people around me who didn't understand what it takes to build something. I'm not apologizing for that. Growth requires investment and the growth has been real. I'm not apologizing for loving my life out loud. I have a beautiful family. I have a loving and supportive husband. I have a business that I am proud of. I have a community of thousands of spa owners I genuinely care about and who I know genuinely care about me. I have work that feels meaningful. I get to say that I Get to be happy about it without qualifying it, without softening it, without adding a disclaimer. In our industry, there's a lot of pressure around visible success and a strange cultural tendency to make people feel that they should stay small so that others are comfortable. I'm opting out of that. I love my life. I'm proud of what I've built, and I'm going to keep saying that. I'm not apologizing for not having my timeline look like anyone else's. Attoesthetics was founded in 2014. The growth factor Framework came later. After years of iteration and iteration. The podcast has been running for years and is in the top 1% of podcasts worldwide. None of this happened on someone else's schedule. I pivoted when I needed to pivot. I stayed the course when I needed to stay the course. I moved to Hawaii. I had my kids in the middle of a growing company. I changed directions more than once. Every single one of those decisions was mine, and they led me to where I'm at today. I am grateful for all of them, including the ones that looked like detours. I'm not apologizing for taking up space. I have a voice in this industry. I have built a platform, a community, a framework that has worked for hundreds of spa owners. I have opinions. I share them. I do not shrink from the conversation. That is not ego. That is earned. And the same is true for you. You have been in this industry, building your business, serving your clients, making real sacrifices for years. Take up your space. You have earned it, too. So that is my birthday gift to myself this year. Not a list of goals, not a set of resolutions, just permission to be exactly where I am, exactly as I am, without apology. I want that for you, too. Wherever you are right now, whatever chapter you are in, you are allowed to be there for fully. You are allowed to release what is weighing you down. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to be proud. Okay, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for the messages, whether you're emailing us or messaging us on Instagram. Thank you for the support over the years, the community has given me more than I can express, and I do not take a single download or a single listener for granted. Here's to 45. And here's to all of us. I'll see you in the next episode. Quick reminder before you leave, if your spa growth still depends on you doing more, it's time for a shift. Watch the System Shift, a free training designed to help spa owners break past that 25 to $35,000 month plateau without adding treatment hours. You'll learn the CEO level systems that help you scale while protecting your time, your values and your Peace. Go to Grow Autoesthetics.com podcast and watch the systems shift. That's Grow Autoesthetics. Com Podcast.