Choosing Divine Love First: Ester Brooks on Marriage, Family, and Faith

This conversation with Ester Brooks was sparked by something I heard her say in a previous interview. That, in her marriage, she realized she needed to put God first and her husband, Arthur Brooks, second.

I share my own reflections as someone married for 35 years, and we open up about the challenges and rewards of reprioritizing relationships.

Ester Brooks gives a heartfelt account of her journey from youthful infatuation to the deeper, sometimes harder work of real, sacrificial love in marriage. She talks candidly about recognizing unhealthy expectations, letting go of perfectionism, and how practicing her faith helped her love more selflessly.

We discuss the natural tendency to try to change others, especially in long-term relationships, and Ester Brooks shares insights on how genuine curiosity and getting to know her husband anew brought more connection and fulfillment.

We also get into parenting, and both of us discuss the importance of not placing children at the center of the marriage but prioritizing the couple’s bond. Ester Brooks shares wisdom about releasing children to find their own paths and the security children gain from witnessing strong parental love.

Faith is a thread throughout, as Ester Brooks reflects on how audiences are often most interested in discussions of meaning and spiritual longing, even in secular settings. We touch on the challenge of loneliness in today’s tech-driven world and the need to be present and nurture real-life connections.

Throughout, love emerges as the ultimate purpose and goal, both in the everyday and the eternal. I hope you enjoy this thoughtful, warm discussion on what it means to truly love and be loved.

Here are 3 key takeaways for anyone seeking more depth in their relationships and personal growth:

Prioritize relationships intentionally: True love in marriage or partnership means loving selflessly, letting go of unrealistic expectations, and putting God (or your highest values) first to love others more fully.
Stay present: We often lose sight of small, beautiful moments by focusing too much on the future or past. The real opportunity to love and connect happens in the present.
Love goes beyond liking: We’re called to love even when it’s inconvenient or difficult, whether that’s a spouse, a challenging colleague, or the stranger at the grocery store. Willing the good of others, even if you don’t “like” them, creates space for growth and understanding.

Ester Munt-Brooks is a Catholic educator dedicated to helping ordinary people deepen their faith and apply it to daily life. She speaks widely in parishes and at Catholic events around the United States for both English and Spanish-speaking audiences. She is currently pursuing her graduate education in Theology at the Augustine Institute. Ester also hosts a Spanish language radio show, “Mujer y Palabra,” Tuesdays at 9 am Pacific/12 pm Eastern on Guadalupe Radio Network.

Originally from Barcelona, Spain, Ester has three adult children, two daughters-in-law, and four grandsons. She lives in Reston, Virginia, with her husband, Arthur Brooks.

Resources Mentioned

1. Guadalupe Radio

Ester Brooks hosts a radio show on Guadalupe Radio, a Spanish-speaking station in Los Angeles.
Website: https://www.guadaluperadio.com/

2. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

Ester Brooks references "The Screwtape Letters," a book by C.S. Lewis.
More information: https://www.cslewis.com/us/books/paperback/the-screwtape-letters/9780060652937/

3. St. Augustine

Quoted in reference to, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in God.”
Background: https://www.britannica.com/biography/Saint-Augustine

4. St. John of the Cross

Referenced for his teaching: “At the end of time, we will be judged by our love.”
Background: https://www.britannica.com/biography/Saint-John-of-the-Cross

5. San Josemaría Escrivá

Referenced as a spiritual influence, specifically a quote about marriage and caring for one’s spouse.
Background: https://www.opusdei.org/en-us/article/saint-josemaria/

6. Dawes Arboretum

Eric Pennington mentions this location as a personal inspiration and place of reflection.
Website: https://dawesarb.org/

In each episode, Jeff and Eric will talk about what emotional intelligence, or understanding your emotions, can do for you in your daily and work life. For more information, contact Eric or Jeff at info@spiritofeq.com or visit their website, Spirit of EQ.

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