Pee Plosions & Things That Are Pink - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Thu Mar 05 2026

Oh boy do we have an episode for you! On this show we dive into the world of pee plosions, see the return of the poop knife, play Man of the People and wrap things up with a Things That Are Pink Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!

Transcript

Jason (0:00)

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Mike (0:37)

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Andy (1:39)

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?

Jason (1:48)

It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason.

Dan (1:59)

They had. They had most of the Jason emergency elements.

Jason (2:04)

Yes, it did. He.

Dan (2:08)

He rolled. He rolled some of it in the middle, which was new, but that really saved it. If, you know Jason is just off the cuff, you're going to get a little whispery. You're going to get a poop in there.

Jason (2:22)

Was there a poop in there? Huh? Oh, I didn't mean to. So, you know, sometimes accidental poops, they happen. But that was not intentional.

Dan (2:29)

Yeah, I mean, that was. That was good.

Jason (2:32)

We're doing a pink draft, so I just tried to have the p. Plosion. That was the only thing I was going with.

Summary

Spitballers Comedy Podcast – Episode Summary

Episode: Pee Plosions & Things That Are Pink - Spit Hits!
Hosts: Andy, Mike, Jason
Release Date: March 5, 2026
Main Theme: Hilarious dad banter on bodily functions, the best “Would You Rather” scenarios, and a draft of “things that are pink.”

Episode Overview

In this riotous and playful episode, the Spitballers (Andy, Mike, and Jason) deliver an hour packed with unscripted laughter, bizarre hypotheticals, and unexpected wisdom on the oddities of family life. The show covers signature segments like “Would You Rather,” “Man of the People,” and wraps with an imaginative draft of things that are pink—all while riffing on urination emergencies ("pee-plosions") and the architecture of truly memorable poops.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pee-plosion Stories and Road Trip Anecdotes (02:32–04:12)

Jason recounts a harrowing "pee-plosion" experience during a road trip for a live show, sharing how desperation mounted over “45 miles” when their driver missed the only available rest stop.
- “I’m gonna fill your Uber with piss. It’s just gonna be you. Everyone’s gonna drown you on the way to New York. Get me out of here.” —Jason [03:46]
The hosts riff on long car rides, poking fun at the perils of holding it in and inventing the term “pee-plosion.”

2. Would You Rather: Defending Your Family—Bear vs. Home Invader? (05:05–15:47)

Scenario: Would you rather defend your wife from a bear with a sword, or your family in a home invasion with a baseball bat?
- The guys break down their odds in each ridiculous scenario, debating fear, heroics, and logistics.
- Jason’s bear-fighting fantasy:
  - “I jump right in front of the bear, wielding my broadsword… one final blow, I behead him.” –Jason [08:04]
They spiral into details about broadsword weights, bear home invasions, and the irrationality of fear.
- “My family had an encounter with a bear. I look to my left, there’s a broadsword on the ground. I pick it up, and I strike the bear down and I save my family.” –Mike [09:14]
Surprising philosophical twist: Jason says he’d be more afraid of a human intruder than a bear.
- “I think the home intruder is instantly scarier than the bear.” –Jason [11:46]

3. Would You Rather: Reliving Best Memories vs. Cryptic Prophetic Dreams (15:47–24:43)

Andy asks: Would you prefer dreams that relive your best memories or cryptic, prophetic glimpses into your future?
The hosts lament their poor memory and muse on the value of happiness, nostalgia, and the danger of demystifying your own “funniest moments.”
- “Do you ever think to yourself, like, if I don’t remember anything, what the heck’s the point?” –Dan [18:03]
Hilarious detour into memorable bowel movements, with Jason championing the idea of immortalizing his greatest “poop achievements.”
- “It’s the most impressive thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s a memory that won’t be lost or forgotten.” –Jason [23:38]

4. Man of the People – Survey Says! (25:52–36:14)

Classic Family Feud-style rapid-fire game show where the guys attempt to guess top survey responses from listeners.
- Categories Include:
  - “Name something a parent criticizes their child for doing too fast.” (Top answer: Eating)
  - “When drawing a person, which specific part is the hardest to make look realistic?” (Top: Nose)
  - “A food that makes you thirsty.” (Top: Potato chips)
  - “Name a legendary creature that would be a huge hit at a zoo.” (Top: Bigfoot)
  - “Name something that begins with the word ‘dirty’.” (Top: Laundry)
  - “Finish this sentence: ‘Hold your…’” (Top: Breath, with ‘Horses’ just behind)
  - “Name a reason a kid might get sent home from school.” (Top: Got in a fight)
Mike and Andy jockey for the win, with Andy narrowly retaining his “Man of the People” title.
- “If you hadn’t beaten me, I was gonna say sick.” –Jason [35:53]

5. The Spitballers Draft: Things That Are Pink (37:06–51:27)

Each Spitballer drafts four iconic “pink” things, leading to playful debates and some passionate food opinions.
Jason’s Sugar Rush Line-up:
- Cotton Candy, Strawberry Milk (“the best!”), Pink Starburst, Pepto Bismol
  - “I got the beatus up in me. Cotton candy, strawberry milk, pink starburst. I’m type two, baby.” –Jason [45:39]
  - “Nothing is better than strawberry milk.” –Jason [47:31]
Dan/Andy: Flamingo, Bubblegum, Kirby, Pink Lemonade
- “Why is pink lemonade better than regular lemonade?” –Dan [49:10]
Mike: Miss Piggy, Pink Panther, Tutu, Bing Bong
- “A tutu is always pink.” –Mike [47:02]
The debate around strawberry milk vs. chocolate milk is especially passionate and hilarious.
Honorable mentions in the post-draft round: Pink Cadillac, Grapefruit, Cherry Blossoms, Pink Power Ranger, and Peppa Pig.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Pee-plosions:
“That’s a pee-plosion. That’s after a long car ride.” –Dan [02:48]
Bear vs. Home Intruder:
“The bear’s wearing a mask. Yeah. Because he doesn’t want to get caught on camera.” –Mike [11:05]
“You do not want to run into a robber with his cubs. Because those robbers become very defensive.” –Jason [13:50]
Memory Lane:
“If I don’t remember anything, what the heck’s the point?” –Dan [18:03]
“Let me tell you about the biggest poop I ever had. Imagine what you know as a bridge…” –Jason [23:55]
On Strawberry Milk:
“Nothing is better than strawberry milk.” –Jason [47:31]
“Dude, you sound so stupid and ignorant right now.” –Jason, defending strawberry milk [42:52]
On Draft Choices:
“I got the beatus up in me. Cotton candy, strawberry milk, pink starburst. I’m type two, baby.” –Jason [45:39]
“A tutu is always pink.” –Mike [47:02]

Segment Timestamps

Pee-plosion Stories: 02:32–04:12
Would You Rather (Bear vs. Home Intruder): 05:05–15:47
Would You Rather (Dreams & Memories): 15:47–24:43
Man of the People: 25:52–36:14
The Spitballers Pink Draft: 37:06–51:27

Tone & Vibe

The episode is irreverent, quick-witted, family-friendly (with some toilet humor), and built around the lovable chaos that only three dads with podcast mics and a penchant for hyperbole can create.

Takeaways

Jason’s passion for strawberry milk is truly unmatched.
The Spitballers’ peculiar ability to turn everyday situations—like holding in pee or remembering a particularly momentous poop—into epic storytelling is undiminished.
If you need a laugh, their drafts (especially of “things that are pink”) prove that even the silliest topics can become a battleground for pride and hilarity.

For more nonsense and hilarity, check out SpitballersPod.com.