Spittin’ Chiclets Episode 583: Featuring Sean Avery

Date: September 23, 2025
Hosts: Ryan Whitney, Paul Bissonnette (Biz Nasty), Keith Yandle, Rear Admiral, Producer Mike Grinnell
Guest: Sean Avery

Episode Overview

Episode 583 sees the Chiclets crew at their energetic best as they preview the Chiclets Cup, discuss NHL pre-season stories, and welcome back one of their most notorious guests, Sean Avery. This week, Avery joins to discuss hockey’s evolution, scouting, writing a spicy romance novel, and his burgeoning career in Hollywood. There's a recurring focus on team building, the importance of scouting, player development, cap management, and the shifting landscape of both the league and its culture. The trademark comedic banter, hot takes, and outrageous storytelling are all on display.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Chiclets Cup & Crew Antics

[02:28–24:00]

• Chiclets Cup Hype: With the Cup around the corner, the episode kicks off with playful trash talk between the hosts’ teams ("Big Deal Selects" vs. "Boston Stranglers"). Captaincy news: Con Man replaces Terry Ryan (TR) as Big Deal Selects' skipper.
• Event Details: Parties, locations, and a big Friday match at 4:45 PM at Harpoon Brewery are announced.
• Roster Moves & Insider Jokes: The hosts debate bringing in "ringer" players and reminisce about legendary stories from previous Cups. Heated banter about team loyalty and player poaching is rampant.

Quote [14:44, Keith Yandle]: "I have some breaking news as far as the Big Deal Selects too...Terry Ryan won't be able to be there on Friday and Saturday, but he's coming really big...So we're actually handing over the captaincy to Con Man."

• Classic Chiclets Trash Talk: Keith calls out Whit for recruiting "Nose Face Killer." The segment is laced with inside jokes and playful threats between teams.

2. Barstool Ryder Cup Debacle

[25:00–34:00]

• Whitney's Struggles: Whitney owns up to his embarrassing golf performance as Barstool Ryder Cup captain, acknowledging viral flubs and roasting videos from Portnoy. He discusses the volatility of golf, Internet shame, and his plan to rebound.

Quote [27:14, Keith Yandle]: "I’ve been sold a bill of goods that he was this great, great golfer...I’d be beating Whitney."

• Team Selection Regrets: Debate over drafting Kirk Minahan and missing out on Francis, who ended up dominating.

Quote [29:02, Ryan Whitney]: "If his handicaps are six, he’s a great six. He could be like, a four right now."

3. NHL News: Contracts, Young Stars & Team Dynamics

[37:58–66:06]

• Islanders’ Prospect Hype: Praise for Matthew Schaefer's preseason dominance; skepticism about relying on preseason form.
• Unsigned Talent: Discussion on why big names like Bedard, Eichel, McDavid, and prospects like Lane Hudson and Mason McTavish haven’t inked new deals. The debate touches on expansion of the young talent pool and the risks of "bridging" players.

Quote [41:30, Keith Yandle]: "The jump in the cap...It's such a young man's league where they just pigeon toss you the minute you hit fucking 26 years old. It's nuts."

• Mason McTavish Contract Drama: The Ducks' negotiations are scrutinized, with concern for player readiness and management’s efforts to set franchise precedents.

Quote [63:36, Biz Nasty]: "Two million a year there isn't...I feel like why is he in Ottawa? Like that should be able to get done in my mind."

• Comparables & Precedents: Referencing other bridge deals and slow starts for players who miss camp (Nylander, Zegras).

4. Leadership, Legacy & the LA Kings

[66:23–56:54]

• Anze Kopitar Announces Retirement: Tributes to Kopitar’s immense two-way legacy and his place in Kings and NHL history. Commentary on whether more should be made of his longevity and leadership.

Quote [49:42, Keith Yandle]: "Just the consummate pro and the greatest example of what you would want a hockey player to be...he deserves his own big one right in front of that building."

• Adrian Kempe’s Big Pay Day: Speculation over Kempe’s next contract—possibly in the $11–12 million/year range—and credit to LA’s developmental pipeline.

5. Scouting, Development, and Cap Realities—Sean Avery’s Appearance

[88:50–121:14]

Key Points from the Interview

• State Tax Cap Loophole: Avery and the crew revisit the controversy over Florida (and similar states) offering a circumvention advantage via no state tax.

Quote [89:09, Sean Avery]: "Did Brad Marchand go on the record and say Florida and the state of Florida and the Florida Panthers are a team that circumvents the cap via no state tax?"

• Modern Roster Building: Avery stresses the necessity of scouting, drafting, and player development over free agency, echoing Shanny’s insights:

Quote [93:04, Sean Avery]: "If you’re not building through the draft, then you’re a loser. You’re a sucker. Chasing free agents, chasing those dollars. It’s a loser game."

• Camp and Competition: Reminiscing about the fierce competition for roster spots in past NHL training camps versus today’s more predetermined lineups.

• Old School vs. New School: A recurring lament on the lack of accountability and gritty play in today’s NHL, especially among bottom-six players.

Quote [104:34, Sean Avery]: "Play one way while you’re developing. Don’t try to do too much. I need bottom six guys to just wear the other team’s D out."

• Scouting Critique: Avery rails against low-paid, uninspired scouts and calls for greater investment in ex-player scouts who "know what a dog is."

• Toronto & Pittsburgh Hot Takes: Avery questions Dubas letting Gensel walk and roasts the "core four" mythology in Toronto:

Quote [119:03, Sean Avery]: "When you really dissect what he did, I mean, my good God, he got… Leaf fans are unbelievable."

• Austin Matthews' Next Gear: Avery and Biz clash on whether Matthews has that "it factor" to win a Cup.

Quote [119:44, Sean Avery]: "If there’s a guy right now in the league that I say that might not have the next gear to win, he might be at the top of my list."

Avery as Author & Hollywood Actor

• Summer Skateboard: Avery details his experience co-writing a risqué hockey romance novel—replete with on-ice and off-ice escapades—and the booming subgenre of "hockey romance." The audiobook features alternating perspectives from both leads, and Avery voices the male character.

Quote [128:43, Sean Avery]: "I think there’s some ass eating on the side of the road at a farm stand in the Hamptons."

• Inside Anecdotes: Avery shares book inspirations from his own career and relationships, as well as praise for Fish and inside looks at his acting gigs, notably working with Christopher Nolan on an upcoming adaptation of "The Odyssey."

Quote [135:34, Sean Avery]: "This is going to be a big one for Me, now it’s game over now. Now I’m going to win a Golden Globe. I’m going to win an Academy Award."

6. Other Notables & End-of-Show

[154:58–Ending]

• Florida Panthers Update: Matthew Tkachuk out until December after surgery, but optimism about his leadership and eventual return.
• Rasmus Dahlin's Wife Medical Scare: Emotional story recounted regarding her brush with death and miraculous recovery.
• Tributes: Strong words of respect for Bernie Parent and the Wiseblatt family after recent tragedies, with hosts reflecting on legacy, friendship, and the importance of living in the moment.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [08:14, Keith Yandle]: "I think I got the wooden spoon a couple times from Yolande...she was like, up to here with me."
• [22:29, Ryan Whitney]: "I’ve turned into a meme in more ways than one."
• [53:57, Biz Nasty]: "NHL is not a development league."
• [99:34, Sean Avery]: "I’m just really disappointed...these fuckin‘ guys better come out and play serious hockey. Panari needs to redeem himself."
• [104:34, Sean Avery]: "Play one way while you’re developing. And don’t fuckin‘ try and do too much..."
• [135:34, Sean Avery]: "Now I’m hunting. Now I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna win a Golden Globe. I’m gonna win an Academy Award."
• [162:13, Ryan Whitney]: "Every single day. Live in the moment, guys...Appreciate what you got."

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:28] – Chiclets Cup banter, rosters, event preview
• [25:00] – Barstool Ryder Cup recap & roast
• [37:58] – NHL preseason (Prospects, contracts, unsigned stars)
• [49:42] – Tributes to Kopitar, Kempe contract speculation
• [88:50] – Sean Avery joins: cap talk, scouting, old-school vs. new-school
• [121:49] – Avery’s romance novel discussion
• [135:34] – Hollywood stories: working on "The Odyssey"
• [154:58] – Tkachuk/Panthers update, health scares, tributes

Conclusion

Episode 583 is a tour-de-force in classic Spittin’ Chiclets style, blending hockey behind-the-scenes insight with irreverent humor, a dose of off-beat romance novel chatter, and heartfelt moments. Sean Avery's interview is loaded with uncensored opinions and colorful storytelling, doing justice to his status as one of hockey’s most memorable characters. The hosts' camaraderie and competitive banter set the tone for the looming Chiclets Cup, and broader conversations around team construction, hockey culture, and leadership make this episode a must-listen for fans seeking more than just stats.

For those who haven’t listened:
Expect wild stories, passionate debate, a blend of nostalgia and cutting-edge analysis, and a candid, occasionally raunchy, always entertaining view of the hockey world—both on and off the ice.