Not to be confused with SEVEN SAMURAI, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, SE7EN, or SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, it's SEVEN SNIPERS (2:53), a movie Dave proclaims is not a movie. It's a scenario. And sort of a good one. Just with some of the shittiest execution you've ever seen.

First, there's Radha Mitchell as a retired sniper raising her soon-to-be 16-year-old daughter on an isloated farm in Australia. Okay, no problems there. Second, there's word that a nasty AF sniper by played Tim Roth is coming for Mitchell in order to kill her and probably do something else that will be completely obvious to anyone who has ever watched a movie.

(Tim Roth as an elite sniper? As fine an actor as Roth is, he is neither Evan nor Dave's first choice to portray a killing machine. But whatever. Moving on.)

Third, Mitchell calls in a favor, and one of her old military chums brings himself and four other elite snipers to guard the farm. It begs the question: How much money does elite fomer sniper Mitchell have?

Fourth, ALL THESE ELITE SNIPERS STAND IN FRONT OF OPEN WINDOWS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT FOR THE ENTIRE RUNNING TIME. Fifth, enough. Just listen to us tear this thing apart.

Over on Patreon, we watch Chris Pine's directorial debute POOLMAN.