Spot On with Link Lauren

Episode: Meghan Markle's 100K Grift, George Clooney's Controlling Wife, and Minnesota Somali Daycare Fraud
Host: Link Lauren
Air Date: December 29, 2025

Episode Overview

This final episode of 2025 delivers Link Lauren’s signature satirical, razor-sharp commentary on the year’s most absurd news stories. Link jumps from holiday reflections into deep dives on the Minnesota Somali daycare fraud scandal, snarky takes on Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's latest PR disasters, George Clooney’s marital dynamics, and a spirited “Best and Worst” of 2025 roundup. With sassy pop culture insights and bold political jabs, Link ends the year with both laughs and punches.

Holiday Reflections and Humor

[01:01–06:37]

• 2025 Recap: Link likens the year to a blend of intense reality shows – "Survivor, Naked & Afraid, Fear Factor, Wipeout," capturing the shared exhaustion heading into the new year.
• Holiday Anecdotes: Shares about a “fancy” candle Christmas gift, seeding recurring jokes about Meghan Markle’s faulty candle products (“at least my candle came with a wick, unlike Meghan Markle’s candle.” [03:35]).
• Advice for Listeners: Link candidly addresses viewers’ Christmas experiences -- whether with stressful in-laws, hiding from kids on break, or spending the holidays alone. He assures:

  “There is no shame in being alone on Christmas or New Year's.” [04:42]

• Satirical Takes on Gender Roles: Jokes about women wanting to be left alone on Christmas morning, skewering expectations and poking fun at the Santa/Mrs. Claus dynamic:

  “What your wife probably wants most for Christmas is to be left alone... Unless it is Santa Claus himself.” [05:14]

• Jokes on Parenting and Santa: Fantasizes adopting a Somali kid ("Somalian daycares are really in right now. We’re going to talk about that later...") and not letting kids believe in Santa—focusing the credit on hardworking parents instead. [07:44]

Minnesota Somali Daycare Fraud Deep Dive

[09:14–16:10]

• Introduction to the Scandal:
  Link dives into a major story: hundreds of millions in taxpayer dollars funneled to Somali-owned daycares in Minnesota that seem to have no children, exposed by independent journalist Nick Shirley.
• Praise for Independent Journalism:

  “He’s an icon. He’s a legend... He is fearless. He will go door to door: Ding dong, hello, I’m here. Can I interview you?” [10:13]

• Anecdotes:
  Nick Shirley exposed misspellings on “Quality Learning Center” (appearing as “Quality Leering Center” [12:02]), and was accused of being an ICE agent as he investigated empty facilities.
• Political Corruption Allegations:
  Link accuses Minnesota Governor Tim Walz of being complicit, suspecting kickbacks:

  “Tim Walz needs to be called in tomorrow and put under oath and interrogated. I would love to see Tim Walz behind bars.” [13:04]
  “He’d probably have all the inmates doing a sing-along version of Wicked after the first month.” [13:36]

• Critical Reflection:

  “This isn’t even a partisan issue… If there was this level of fraud happening in Texas… I would call them out too.” [14:13]

• Cultural Observations & Satire:
  Comments on Muslim dress and iPhone facial recognition:

  “My iPhone barely recognizes me half the time… How do y’all get your iPhones to open when you’re covered in sheets?” [15:10]

NYC Fire Commissioner Appointment and DEI Satire

[16:11–18:14]

• FDNY Commissioner Critique:
  Link criticizes the appointment of Lillian Bonsignore, the "first openly gay commissioner" who never served as a firefighter.
• Humor and Exaggeration:

  “Do you want the LGBT lesbian with a shaved head showing up in Birkenstocks, or do you want a hot fireman?” [16:33] “The word woman is doing heavy lifting, like the scale at her home.” [16:44]

• Wider Satire on DEI Hiring:
  Warns against “box-check” appointments for the sake of diversity, claiming “something bad is going to happen.” [17:55]

Kamala Harris’s Relationship Advice

[18:15–22:18]

• Clip Discussion:
  Plays and critiques a podcast snippet where Kamala Harris discusses “Friday night” vs. “Sunday morning” relationships.
• Sharp Jabs at Harris’s Record:

  “Your life has to be in shambles to take dating advice from Kamala Harris. She’s the biggest flop in political history.” [19:00]

• Satirical Commentary:
  References old rumors: “They call her the doorknob in California because everybody’s had a turn.” [19:13]
• Political Takeaway:

  “I would rather her be on little podcasts talking about dating than being in charge of the nuclear codes.” [21:33]

• Doug Emhoff Allegations:
  References past abuse allegations and liberal media’s silence.

Meghan Markle & Prince Harry: PR Disasters and “$100K Grift”

[23:28–34:27]

1. Publicist Exodus & Kardashian Drama ([23:28–25:30])

• Meghan Markle has lost her 11th publicist after Kardashian party drama. Photos of Meghan at a Kardashian party leaked online, which Markle reportedly found unacceptable.

• “You go to a Kardashian party... I’m sorry if you look bloated, I’m sorry you didn’t like the angles.” [23:45] “Kim [Kardashian]— we discovered her on her back in a sex tape… you thought you were going to have privacy?” [24:07]

2. Harper’s Bazaar Cover Satire ([25:30–26:38])

• Link lampoons Markle’s magazine covers:

  “The Duchess of Sun Damage. She needs a little makeup. There’s nothing wrong with saying that.” [26:18] “She was being set up. You can tell she has no real gay friends... What is this? It doesn’t look great.” [26:29]

• Spontaneous musical parody of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s "Memory" mocking Markle’s photoshoot:

  “Nightmares, Memory all alone. Touch me, it's so easy to leave... oh, Meghan Markle.” [26:59]

3. Foundation Rename & Satire ([27:08–28:21])

• Markle and Harry rename their foundation: from Archewell to Archewell Philanthropies.

  “Changing the name… is probably a sign they’re desperate for funds.” [27:48] “That’s what they have on the side of a vibrator: ‘meaningful reach, maximum impact.’” [27:33]

4. $100K Dinner “Escort” Grift ([28:22–31:54])

• “Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, they’re charging donors $100,000 to have dinner. That is how desperate they are for cash.” [28:27] “At this point, she might as well have been on Epstein’s plane... Meghan Markle, you’re nothing more than a yacht girl. An escort. Your rate has just gone up!” [28:40] “$100,000 and you can have dinner with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Don’t you know… the desperation!” [29:20] “I have more respect for the Kardashians… Kim Kardashian would never have dinner for just $100,000.” [31:11] “Burger King is more royal than Meghan Markle.” [31:54]

George Clooney’s Marriage and “Beta” Status

[34:28–36:21]

• Clooney’s Onscreen Kissing Ban:
  Reads George Clooney’s quote about not doing romantic scenes at 63 and attributes it to his wife’s control.

• “Yeah, probably because you can’t get it up anymore… you little beta male, George Clooney. That is who you are.” [34:49] “His wife is… very like, UNICEF, we are the world Kumbaya… she’s like, ‘let’s drill wells in Africa,’ George wants to be in Lake Como.” [35:24]

• Double Standard Jokes:
  Contrasts with Leonardo DiCaprio (“he won’t kiss women unless they’re under 25…” [34:59]).

Best and Worst of 2025

[36:22–45:58]

Worst of 2025 ([36:22–39:32])

• Michelle Obama:

  “All she’s done in 2025 is complain about her hair, her makeup, the fact that she had to pay for food as First Lady.” [36:33]

• Meghan Markle’s Wickless Candle:

  “Her candle, a metaphor for her career. Nothing’s lighting, nothing’s igniting. You open the box—nothing’s there.” [37:10]

• Wicked Press Tour:

  “This press tour was bizarre… some weird, creepy, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants stuff.” [38:19] “Ariana Grande needs a cheeseburger with fries and a shake… half the women I know, the reason they’re angry or loopy or seem weird is they need to eat.” [39:26]

Best of 2025 ([39:33–45:58])

• Coldplay Jumbotron Couple:

  “This brought Americans together… Democrats, Republicans, Independents… young and old, black and white, people could come together and discuss this couple.” [39:52] “If you’re cheating, wear a burqa—no one will put you on the Jumbotron!” [40:34]

• First Lady Melania Trump:

  “She has been so unfairly maligned by the mainstream media for years… she strides into every room with grace and elegance.” [41:24]

• Catherine, Princess of Wales:

  “She was so open about her cancer journey… the authenticity people loved about Princess Diana.” [42:22]

• Camp Mystic Flooding Families:

  “This is the best of what it means to be an American—people coming together… They didn’t care about political ideology.” [43:45] “People holding on to their faith at a time of such sorrow… beautiful and profound.” [44:47]

Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

• On Tim Walz:

  “He’d probably be the bottom bitch of the cell block.” [13:24]

• On Kamala Harris:

  “Your life has to be in shambles to take dating advice from Kamala Harris.” [19:00] “She’s the biggest flop in political history.” [19:08]

• On Meghan Markle:

  “The Duchess of Sun Damage. She needs a little makeup.” [26:18] “Burger King is more royal than Meghan Markle.” [31:54]

• Final Toast to Listeners:

  "2025 has been an incredible year. The only reason this podcast is successful is because you guys share it… I love you. If you’re alone on New Year’s, I’m thinking of you.” [45:45]

Important Segment Timestamps

• Holiday Anecdotes / Santa Riff: 01:01–06:37
• Minnesota Somali Daycare Fraud: 09:14–16:10
• FDNY Commissioner Satire: 16:11–18:14
• Kamala Harris Relationship Advice: 18:15–22:18
• Meghan Markle Publicist Drama / $100K Grift: 23:28–31:54
• George Clooney Marital Dynamics: 34:28–36:21
• Best and Worst of 2025: 36:22–45:58

Tone & Style

The episode is brash, biting, and relentlessly satirical, fusing conservative political commentary with irreverent pop culture dissection. Link’s delivery is personal, confessional, peppered with jokes, and often veers into cheeky, adult humor, all delivered with rapid wit and fearless critique.