← Squeezed with Yvette Nicole Brown
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- [00:02]
Yvette Nicole Brown
Lemonada. Hey, it's Yvette Nicole Brown. I'm back with a final bonus episode of Squeezed. Throughout this series, I've spoken to so many caregivers across the U.S. i've stepped into their lives and heard about their joys and their challenges. But we need lawmakers to join the conversation too. So who better to talk to than the United States Secretary of Health and Human Services, Javier Becerra. He works closely with President Biden to streamline and improve healthcare in the US and has specifically focused on caregiving. Whew. Imagine trying to unpack all of that. The Secretary has called caregiving an urgent public health issue. The 66 year old California native is the first Latino in history to hold this position. He's also a caregiver for his family. He cared for his father, Manuel, until he passed away on New year's Day in 2020. And now he and his three siblings care for his 90 year old mother, Maria. So not only does a secretary bring professional experience to his role, he's California's former Attorney General and served in the House of representatives for 20 years. But it's personal for him, too. Throughout our conversation, I asked him one question related to each of the challenges that our guests and so many of you face. But we started by talking about his caregiving journey with his dad.
- [01:29]
Javier Becerra
He is one of my heroes. He is the guy who taught me how to do work in the garden, to build things inside the house, showed me that you can get up in the morning and you can work all day and still come back and spend time with your family. He showed me how to respect people and he showed me how to never give up. And just a great all around guy who never had a chance to be a luminary because he didn't get past the sixth grade, had to go work, oldest of eight. So he gave all that energy and opportunity to his kids.
- [02:04]
Yvette Nicole Brown
Yeah, my dad was a middle school janitor for 35 years. Same thing, same work ethic, same thing. And I care for him now, so I'm in 10 years of caring for him. Can you tell me what it was like when you realized you had to take on the role of being a caregiver for your dad when you said, okay, this is it, I'm stepping in, this is the moment.
- [02:21]
Javier Becerra
In 2017, I came in as the Attorney General in California and I was moving back to Sacramento from Los Angeles and D.C. because I was a member of Congress at the time. So going back and forth, you know, it was one of those things where my Parents were both still living independently, and they could have continued. And I just said to my parents, going to be in Sacramento, so you all might as well move in with us. My dad had been experiencing congestive heart failure for some time by then. He had a weak heart valve, and so his heart was not functioning fully. And so I just said, it's just easier to have you with us. And we had grown up always having family living with us that was beyond the immediate family. So it was nothing new. And so I was able to convince him to come live with us. My wife was all for it. And so my dad lasted another four years. And it wasn't until the last year that we really had to provide him with a lot of care. I mean, he was driving his Ford F150 manual stick pickup until the year he died. And in fact, he was talking about getting a new one that year. And it wasn't until that last year that we actually had to offer him the care, the hospice care in our home. And on New Year's Day when he died, he was surrounded by all his family.
- [03:43]
Yvette Nicole Brown
I love it. That was why I chose to bring my dad with me, because I want him here. I want to be the caretaker of his memories because he has Alzheimer's. So I just. I feel you at a level you don't even understand.
- [03:54]
Javier Becerra
Okay, so can I tell you one quick story?
- [03:56]
Yvette Nicole Brown
Absolutely.
- [03:57]
Javier Becerra
My father, because of his weak heart, having to keep salt out of his diet and so forth. You know, it's tough to make them change their diet. Finally started changing. And, you know, he'd have his. His little desires. He'd want to have a little bit of that or a little bit of this. And we'd say, dad, you know, that's not so good for your heart. His last year, probably his last six months, we would always try to continue to be pretty rigid. You're not supposed to have much salt. You can't have a lot of that sugar. He would say, but it's my life. I'm going to die sooner or later. Let me just go comfort him with his family. Let me live. And we said, dad, we want to keep you as long as we can. Well, we went and visited. Went to one of his doctor visits, and I pulled the doctor aside and I said, doc, he's getting a little bit more ornery, and he wants to eat and drink what he wants to eat and drink. And he said to me, you know what, Javier, you let him have whatever he wants. Yeah, it's kind of hard to accept that. Because you know what they're telling you, that he's on his way out because you want to hold onto him. And so we transitioned there. That point where we let him have what he wanted when he wanted it felt pretty good because he was happier. But it was kind of sad because we knew what that meant. But you get to that point where you do everything you can, especially for someone you love, and you realize that you're really doing this for them. So at the end, you could push and push and push, but you got to do it for them. And at some point, you let them make the decision.
- [05:35]
Yvette Nicole Brown
That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's the love.
- [05:38]
Javier Becerra
Yeah.
- [05:39]
Yvette Nicole Brown
You know my dad, it's drumsticks. He loves a little ice cream drumstick and dog on it. He can have as many of them as he wants.
- [05:45]
Javier Becerra
Amen.
- [05:45]
Yvette Nicole Brown
Three a day if you want.
- [05:48]
Javier Becerra
You tell him we support him in his effort to have that drumstick.
- [05:59]
James Corden
Hello, I'm James Corden, and on my new show, this Life of Mine, I sit down each week with some of the most fascinating people on planet Earth. From Dr. Dre to Julianne Moore to David Beckham to Cynthia Erivo to Martin Scorsese to Jeremy Renner to Denzel Washington to Kim Kardashian. We talk about the people, places, possessions, music, and memories that made them who they are. These are interactions, intimate conversations full of stories that you've never heard before. This Life of Mine premieres October 21st. Wherever you get your podcasts.
- [06:37]
Yvette Nicole Brown
We spoke to a lot of caregivers, and I'd like to ask some questions that highlight their particular hurdles, if that's okay.
- [06:43]
Javier Becerra
Yes, please.
- [06:44]
Yvette Nicole Brown
Okay, great. So we spoke with a mom named Sade who is a member of the Sandwich generation of caregivers. In the past, she's relied on her employer's paid leave policy to help care for her young daughter and aging parents. Now she's facing health challenges of her own and will likely have to take more paid leave, which for many is only guaranteed through state laws or their employer. What's being done on a federal level to protect people in situations like hers, to make sure they're able to sustain themselves when they can't work.
- [07:12]
Javier Becerra
So the first thing is we're trying to make it affordable to care, period, to be a caregiver, whether it's for a child, whether it's for a loved one who has had a disabling injury, or if. If it's for someone who's elderly. The care economy counts on us to Be there for them. At the end of the day, what we're talking about doing is keeping care as close to home as possible. Because as you are doing, as I did, the closer people are to the place that they know and love and where people love them, the better the care will be. And chances are, the longer they're going to stay on this earth with us.
- [07:50]
Yvette Nicole Brown
We also spoke with a woman named Maureen who bought long term life insurance about 30 years ago for her and her husband. Her husband is now in a care home and this insurance is invaluable. It's covering over 7,000 caregiving costs every month. But this insurance is going to run out in another three years and at that point Maureen will have to pay out of pocket for her husband's care. What do you suggest someone like her do? Or those who can't even afford this long term life insurance?
- [08:18]
Javier Becerra
So we, we are, the president has asked us to make further investments in the caregiving economy, making sure that we can have an affordable place, whether it's a nursing home or a daycare center for kids. And we' what we're trying to do is make it so that it's more affordable. So rather than have to send someone to a nursing home, make it so you can afford to have them stay with you at home. And so we're preparing to put out a rule that would require higher standards so that if you call yourself a nursing home, you have to have a nurse in your facility.
- [08:48]
Yvette Nicole Brown
Now we spoke with a psychologist named Shilpa who runs an alternative schooling and therapy program for teens in New York City. She said there are two groups of people who can access care easily, Medicare recipients and the wealthy. But Shilpa says that the majority of teens in the program have run of the mill commercial health insurance and their parents experience many issues when trying to get insurance to cover their kids care. This is a constant battle that is detrimental to their kids well being. What are you doing to help teens like them?
- [09:14]
Javier Becerra
The most important thing we can do is make sure that for parents who have insurance is to make sure they have real insurance that will cover the needs of the family, whatever they might be. What we see too often is people are duped into buying insurance policies which they think are good, but they're really just junk insurance policies. They don't offer you the real services when they're really needed. And probably you're paying a lot less in premiums for that plan. You're thinking, well, I'm getting a really good deal. It's a low cost plan. And I get coverage. No, you don't.
- [09:49]
Yvette Nicole Brown
No, you don't.
- [09:49]
Javier Becerra
You get a low cost plan, but you don't really get the coverage you need. And for your kids, especially on the mental health side, there is a law in place that says that we must treat mental health on parity with physical health. But too often insurance companies don't respect that law and it is tough unless we get information to know who to go after for not following the law. We have an office of Civil rights that is there to make sure that people's rights are enforced, that people are not discriminated against. So if you have a child who needs mental health services, but an insurance company denies your claims for services, you should let us know because you may be entitled to get payment for the services you provided or you got for your child where the insurance company did not reimburse you. It's a matter of knowing what your rights are, making sure you fight like the dickens to get them enforced, and using all of us as your soldiers on your side to help you get that service you need for your loved ones.
- [10:55]
Yvette Nicole Brown
I want to stick with this topic, you know, paying for care, but let's turn to childcare. We know that average care costs have risen across the country and childcare alone has increased over like 30% since 2019. On the show, we spoke with a single dad of triplets living in New York City. So let that settle in. Who spent over 70,000 on childcare in one year alone. That's a shocking amount of money. How are you and the administration thinking about the future of childcare affordability at this stage?
- [11:22]
Javier Becerra
What we're finding is that America, while it's the richest country in the world, is not affordable for families. And that's you think about it. Our economy will be depending on these kids that need care growing up and being ready to learn and ready to lead. And if we can't even provide them with the care that they need so their parents can continue to lead, it's not a very smart investment.
- [11:48]
Yvette Nicole Brown
As I mentioned before, I've been a caregiver for my dad who has Alzheimer's for the last 10 years. So this one is very personal for me. Last April, your department was asked to consider something called GUIDE or the Guiding and Improved Dementia Experience Model. And for those that don't know, GUIDE is a voluntary program that Medicare providers can opt into and it aims to improve support for people with dementia and their caregivers. One of our guests also provides full time care for her mom with late stage Alzheimer's. What Steps are being taken to implement that dementia care model we're pretty much.
- [12:19]
Javier Becerra
Just launching because, remember, it hasn't been until recently that we've really focused a lot of attention on trying to provide dementia care. We've always just thought that it's one of those things where families just have to sort of go with it and go as long as you can. But now we've got some therapies that are seeming to offer a chance for a longer life. And what we want to try to do is make sure that we're providing the cluster of care that an individual would need to be able to make the most of their life. And so what we need to know is what can we do for them to put them in the best physical condition possible, and what can we do for ourselves so we can continue to be strong as we provide the care that they need? Know that there are services there for you, Take full advantage and perhaps the most important thing, demand the care that your loved one deserves, whether it's from the insurance company that might provide some of the healthcare services or whether it's from some of the government programs that are out there. Do not take note for an answer and make sure that you understand what your family member, your loved one, is entitled to. Because too often a lot of the, the, the heartache comes from not understanding what you can provide to your loved one.
- [13:35]
Yvette Nicole Brown
I also spoke with a death doula who helps the immigrant community in Minneapolis navigate end of life planning and paperwork. Her clients often need help accessing services like translation and legal assistance. How can your department help people who need that support in their caregiving journey?
- [13:50]
Javier Becerra
Yeah, that's where the home care program is really important. Because what we have to do is empower that individual who's providing the care with the knowledge of what rights they have. And there are some rights that you have. We have to make sure people know their rights. We have to make sure people understand what services are available.
- [14:11]
Yvette Nicole Brown
We also spoke with a mother of three kids named Jessica. Jessica decided to become a stay at home mom to raise her kids because she was concerned about her children's safety and the quality of the education they would receive in their local schools. And she feels this way partly because of her own experience as an overworked and underpaid daycare employee, and because she lives in Oklahoma, a state with laws that limit the ability to teach about race and racism in school. Jessica is a biracial woman, so this is a big concern of hers. Her husband is now the sole source of support for the family what is your department doing to support stay at home parents with concerns like Jessica?
- [14:48]
Javier Becerra
The difficulty is this status quo is tough to change. And as I said, we're trying to move towards a model of care that starts at home.
- [15:01]
Yvette Nicole Brown
Before we go, I want to go back to Secretary Javier Becerra. As a caregiver, what have you learned since starting your caregiving journey?
- [15:08]
Javier Becerra
What I learned really well is that you just have to be patient and you become like the parent for your parent, and you learn to give to them what they gave to you when you were a baby and as you were growing up. And because I was fortunate to have what I needed to give my parents physically, financially, my wife and I were in a much different circumstance than my parents or her parents. My wife's a physician, I'm an attorney. We're doing well. We could offer my parents whatever they needed. So all I needed was to learn what it meant to be a caregiver for someone who didn't have many years to go and how to do it right, how to make. How to understand what was going through my dad's mind. He still wanted to get in that Ford F150 pickup, but he couldn't. And it wasn't the physical, it was. It was the mental part, it was the spiritual part. How do you help him still feel the dignity and respect of what was a man who was dying? And fortunately, I learned a lot just from my wife because she and her family have done this so well for so long. She's one of six girls in a family of eight kids. And so what you gotta learn is how to love the bride. Because it's a different kind of love. It's now the love, as I said, it's almost you're parenting your parent.
- [16:35]
Yvette Nicole Brown
It is. And if you have a parent, unruly child who's willful and wants to do what they want to do, you know, you have to step in. And what I say all the time about my journey with my dad is that, you know, he taught me how to use a spoon. So it is literally my pleasure to explain to him, you know, how things move in the world now, because he's forgotten, you know, it is the greatest privilege of my life to be his caregiver. I pray I get to do it for another 20 years. Thank you so much, sir. I know you have a lot to do. Thank you for taking this time.
- [17:09]
Javier Becerra
No, thank you. And thank you for what you do.
- [17:15]
Yvette Nicole Brown
You can get in touch with the Department of Health and Human Services to share feedback and ideas on their work around caregiving. You can do this by emailing them@hhsieahs.gov that email address is also included in the Show Notes. For this episode, the secretary also encouraged listeners to file a complaint with the Office of Civil Rights if an insurance company is denying coverage, you're entitled to like mental health services. You can find more info on this in the Show Notes. There's more Squeeze with Lemonada Premium subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content like previously unheard clips from all our voices in this series. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts Squeezed is a Lemonada Media original. I'm your host, Yvette Nicole Brown. Crystal Genesis is our senior producer. Julia York, Tess Novotny and Hannah Boomershine are our producers. Ivan Kurayev is our engineer. Our theme music is by Andy, Kristen's daughter, with additional music by APM Music. Jackie Danziger is our VP of Narrative Content. Executive producers are me, Yvette Nicole Brown, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Whittles. Wax this show was created in partnership with the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, a leading national philanthropy dedicated to taking bold leaps to transform health in our lifetime and pave the way together to a future where health is no longer a privilege, but a right. Follow Squeezed wherever you get your podcasts or listen. Ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership.