Podcast Summary: Squeezed with Yvette Nicole Brown
Episode: Caregiver First, Actor Second
Released: October 29, 2025

Episode Overview

The episode "Caregiver First, Actor Second" explores the deeply personal and challenging experience of caregiving through the journey of Brandi Evans, acclaimed for her role as Mercedes on P-Valley. Host Yvette Nicole Brown (herself a caregiver) delves into Brandi’s struggles balancing her rising career with becoming the primary caregiver for her mother, Diana, who battles both multiple sclerosis and Alzheimer's. The conversation is raw, honest, and moving—highlighting universal emotions caregivers face, from guilt to isolation, as well as the resilience and community that can be found along the way.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Dual Roles and Hidden Struggles

• Brandi’s Double Life: Despite her success on P-Valley, Brandi felt she was "smiling for the camera," while breaking down at home every day due to the pressures and heartbreak of caregiving.
  • Quote – Brandi (02:14): "It's like you're smiling on that camera and then I'm going home and crying every single day of P Valley."
• Isolation and Guilt: Success in her career made her feel like she was failing in caregiving, and vice versa.
  • Yvette (02:22): "...while she was making it in one part of her life, she was losing it all in the other."

2. Early Family Dynamics & Caregiving Foundations

• Strict Upbringing with Purpose: Brandi reflects on her strict childhood and how, while "little Brandi" saw her mom as harsh, adult Brandi is grateful for the skills and resilience instilled in her.
  • Brandi (04:34): "Little Brandi would say, she was so mean. ...But older, Brandi is like, thank God."
• Learning Empathy Early On: Regular nursing home visits with her mom—seeing neglected residents—left a lifelong impact.
  • Brandi (05:46): "I just remember being brokenhearted by that...I can close my eyes and still feel like I can smell the stench."
  • Promise to her mom: never a nursing home.

3. Turning Point: The Fall & Becoming a Full-Time Caregiver

• The Incident: Diana’s fall and subsequent immobility thrust Brandi into the full weight of caregiving.
• Taking Action: Over time, Brandi orchestrated her mom’s move from a Memphis facility to Los Angeles, leveraging community support, fundraising, and her resourcefulness.
  • Brandi (09:48): "I put that GoFundMe up, and I raised $14,000 in four days."
• Facing Caregiving Realities: She recounts the steep learning curve—dealing with logistics, emotional breakdowns, and moments of rage and regret.
  • Brandi (11:45): "I punched a hole in the wall one time...I'd scream at her, you know..."
  • Yvette (12:06): "Rage is a part of caregiving...you have to let that stuff go. It happens."

4. Breakthrough Role and Unseen Sacrifices

• Landing P-Valley: A breakthrough as an actor came after years of struggle, but the triumph was bittersweet—Brandi was hiding immense hardship at home.
  • Brandi (16:19): "You don't know that. I had moved my mother...I would lose all the medical benefits that we had in LA. I lost it all."
• Secrecy on Set: Out of fear for her standing and reputation, Brandi kept her challenges hidden from most colleagues.
  • Brandi (17:00): "I was afraid. I was afraid...last thing I want to say is I'm struggling."
• Caregiver First, Always:
  • Brandi (18:08): "I can book another job. I can't book another mother."

5. Caregiver Logistics: Money, Trust, and Finding the Right Help

• Financial Realities: Acting's inconsistency makes paying for reliable care a constant source of anxiety.
  • Brandi (23:37): "It costs $9,000 a month, $300 a day to leave my mother."
• Finding the Right Caregivers:
  • Early days were fraught with underqualified or ill-fitting helpers, highlighting the necessity of matching the caregiver to the loved one, not just filling a job.
  • Brandi (21:17): "I was in the beginning just trying to afford who I could get...And I'm a firm believer in you get what you pay for."
• Building Trust: Developing communication and appreciation for caregivers was key. Her current caregivers, Carisia and Ms. Mary, have become like family.
  • Brandi (24:28): "...they are advocating because I come back out of town. They're like, 'Yeah. So we told them, don't use that catheter on her no more because it breaks her out.'"

6. Loss, Memory, and Meaningful Moments

• Progression of Illness: Diana's MS and Alzheimer's have advanced—losing mobility and now sometimes forgetting Brandi’s identity.
  • Brandi (25:53): "...her memory is so bad now...I paused it with me on the screen and I said, mama, look. Who is that?...She said, I don't know."
• Emotional Cost of Success: Brandi shares how difficult it is to finally have career success but be unable to truly share it with her mom.
  • Brandi (24:54 / 30:03): "I just wish my mama knew what I do for a living."
• Redefining ‘Being Enough’: Yvette encourages Brandi—and listeners—that what she’s doing is more than enough, even if it looks different than dreamed.
  • Yvette (29:11): "It is good enough. Because, you know, how many people would not have done 10% of the things you did..."

7. Cherishing Small Wins and Embracing Vulnerability

• Capturing Joy Amid Decline: Brandi values the occasional lucid moments—especially humorous ones about church outfits in the middle of the night.
  • Brandi (31:05): "She is not playing."
• Advocacy and Openness: Brandi wants her transparency about the process to give fellow caregivers hope—they can pursue dreams and care for loved ones, and there is community.
  • Brandi (35:20): "I want other people to feel like...you can go out and take care of your mom, dad, auntie, uncle, whomever, and go after your dreams too."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I can book another job. I can't book another mother."
  — Brandi Evans (18:08)

• "You have got to learn to cut yourself some slack. What we are doing in caring and loving for other people full time is not easy."
  — Yvette Nicole Brown (12:56)

• "Rage is a part of caregiving...you have to let that stuff go. It happens."
  — Yvette Nicole Brown (12:06)

• "I just wish my mama knew what I do for a living."
  — Brandi Evans (24:54)

• "She knows what you do for her. And I know you think that her knowing what you do for a living would trump that. I promise you it would not."
  — Yvette Nicole Brown (30:15)

• "When they care the way you care, those are your people."
  — Yvette Nicole Brown (24:42)

• "I want other people to feel like, you know, yes, it's hard, but yes, you can go out and take care of your mom...and go after your dreams too."
  — Brandi Evans (35:20)

Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:14 | Brandi describes “smiling for the camera” but crying every day | | 04:34 | Reflections on strict childhood and caregiving foundation | | 09:48 | Brandi’s GoFundMe: raising funds & orchestrating the move | | 11:45 | Raw honesty about anger, rage, and early caregiving reactions | | 16:19 | Details on keeping caregiving challenges hidden from colleagues | | 18:08 | Defining “caregiver first, actor second” | | 23:37 | The astronomical cost of good care | | 25:53 | Brandi’s mother forgetting her identity; heartbreak of memory loss| | 29:11 | Yvette’s assurance about feeling “enough” as a caregiver | | 31:05 | Humorous but poignant 3am “what am I gonna wear to church?” exchange| | 35:20 | Brandi on hope and encouraging other caregivers |

Final Thoughts

This episode delivers a compassionate, candid, and inspiring account of the realities caregivers face—especially when juggling personal dreams and profound responsibilities. Brandi’s journey underscores the vital importance of self-forgiveness, community, transparency, and relentless love. As Yvette and Brandi remind listeners: pursuing a dream is possible, but caring for our loved ones is irreplaceable.

For listeners:
If you’re a caregiver feeling guilt, exhaustion, or loneliness, this episode offers solidarity, practical wisdom, and encouragement: you are not alone—and you are enough.