Rage, Guilt, and Love in Alzheimer’s Caregiving

Summary

Squeezed with Yvette Nicole Brown

Episode: Rage, Guilt, and Love in Alzheimer’s Caregiving

Date: October 1, 2025
Guests: Lauren Miller Rogan & Seth Rogen
Host: Yvette Nicole Brown
Podcast: Lemonada Media

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Episode Overview

This episode explores the emotional rollercoaster of caregiving for a loved one with Alzheimer’s, guided by the deeply personal experiences of Lauren Miller Rogan and Seth Rogen. Host Yvette Nicole Brown dives into the realities of guilt, rage, love, and resilience that define the journey of family caregivers, particularly young caregivers navigating adulthood alongside devastating illness. The conversation also celebrates the impact of Hilarity for Charity, Lauren and Seth’s foundation to raise Alzheimer’s awareness and provide relief to caregivers, illustrating how they transform pain into purpose and support for others.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Emotional Realities of Caregiving

• Rage & Overwhelm:
  Lauren recounts the moment everyday frustrations boiled over due to the cumulative stress of caregiving.

  “I was supposed to be flying back and our dog wouldn't go to the bathroom...I was like, screaming. I was just, I was raging.” —Lauren (00:40)
  Seth interjects the need to find some calm amid chaos:
  “I remember saying that, like, yeah, like, I at least need a few minutes in the morning before... we fly into a rage. Maybe let me brush my teeth and have some coffee...” —Seth (02:17)

• Universal Guilt and Exhaustion:
  Yvette and her guests share that these feelings aren’t unique—caregiving is filled with moments when everything feels like too much.

  “It was all the whys that drive you crazy.” —Yvette (01:52)

• Balance in Early Adulthood:
  Lauren reflects on falling in love and advancing her career while simultaneously watching her mother decline:

  “All these things happened while she was sick, while we were caring for her, while I was watching my mother slowly die from this terrible, terrible thing.” —Lauren (05:18)

2. Navigating Relationships Through Caregiving

• Support & Emotional Openness:
  Lauren credits Seth’s upbringing—his mother and sister are social workers—for helping him support her through dark times and nudging her to seek therapy.

  “…was always able to sort of hold my deep and dark feelings about it, my anger…” —Lauren (05:37)

• Steadfast Commitment:
  Seth discusses what kept him committed to Lauren despite the hardships:

  “It didn’t even occur to me [to leave]...Once you’re, you know, in a relationship with someone, then like, these are the things you deal with together.” —Seth (09:12)

• Lauren’s Mother’s Wishes:
  Adele, Lauren’s mother, urged Lauren to keep living her life, not to give it all up for caregiving—a “gift” Lauren calls “privileged and lucky.”

  “My mom gave me an incredible gift early on...I was not to stop living my life for her.” —Lauren (07:11)

3. Family Dynamics & Accepting Help

• Resistance and Denial:
  Adele initially hid her diagnosis out of shame, and the family navigated how—and when—to bring in professional help.

  “We... had to play along and sort of, this woman is here as a housekeeper, you know, creating a reality that fit and worked and made things okay.” —Lauren (10:48)

• Letting Go of Sole Responsibility:
  Therapy helped clarify that Lauren's father, Scott, could be the primary caregiver, with Lauren supporting him:

  “...if your dad wants to be the primary caregiver, let him. He’s her husband. ...You be his caregiver.” —Lauren (12:05)

• Bringing Parents Closer:
  Eventually, Scott and Adele moved from Florida to LA for proximity and more robust support, with Adele receiving 24-hour in-home care, and Scott living next door.

  “She had care and my dad was able to be her...primary caregiver till the very, very end.” —Lauren (13:41)

4. Advocacy & Changing the Conversation

• Breaking the Silence:
  Seth’s 2014 testimony before Congress spotlighted the lack of awareness and funding for Alzheimer’s, reaching millions.

  “Another thing I didn’t realize until I was personally affected was the shame and stigma associated with the disease.” —Seth (15:48)
  “It became like one of C-SPAN’s most viewed videos, which isn’t saying a ton, but...It’s good for that.” —Seth (18:33)

• The Power of Storytelling:
  Lauren insists on speaking openly, contradicting her mom’s initial shame.

  “I’m not gonna listen to the voice that came out when she was already sick...Who she was was someone who cared passionately about helping other people, teaching people. And so really, I just channeled that part of her…” —Lauren (31:21)

5. Hilarity for Charity: Laughter as a Lifeline

• Origins & Impact:
  Hilarity for Charity began as a variety show—raising $300,000 in its first year—evolving into a movement funding caregiver respite and support groups, and fostering hope.

  “It was just like, oh, we'll put on a variety show and we'll give the money to Alzheimer’s charity...got a lot better [at talking about Alzheimer’s] over the years.” —Seth (19:33)
  “Today it also helps increase support groups nationwide and helps advance cutting edge research.” —Yvette (19:09)

• Grants and Caregiver Relief:
  Their caregiver respite grant program provides free in-home hours for families in need.

  “Every month we would read the applications, which, yeah, was...gut wrenching.” —Lauren (26:28)
  “We’d love to award you 15 hours of care a week for a full year, completely paid and taken care of. Is that something that could be helpful for you?” —Lauren (27:35)

• What Caregivers Need Most:
  Lauren identifies loneliness, lack of respite, and craving for community as the greatest needs:

  “Too many [caregivers] are lonely, and they are doing this all on their own. They have no respite, they have no community, they have no support… I wish that probably a lot of caregivers could pat themselves on the back a bit more than they probably do.” —Lauren (28:36)

• Humor as Healing:

  “If we were, you know, chefs, it would call it, you know, baking for charity or something. …it does make it an easier subject matter to talk about and think about.” —Seth (20:52)

6. Anticipatory Grief and Letting Go

• Living with Long-term Loss:
  Lauren describes the strange lightness after her mother’s passing, having grieved for years:

  “I felt lighter than I had felt in 16 years...I had mourned her for 16 years.” —Lauren (23:24, 23:31)

• The Difference in Types of Grief:

  “I have not lost someone quickly. I have only lost someone over a long period like this…And so I was already used to missing her.” —Lauren (23:50, 24:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It was all the whys that drive you crazy.” —Yvette Nicole Brown (01:52)
• “I was not to stop living my life for her.” —Lauren Miller Rogan (07:11)
• “Once you’re...in a relationship with someone, then like, these are the things you deal with together.” —Seth Rogen (09:12)
• “We all survived.” —Lauren (24:54)
• “Too many [caregivers] are lonely, and they are doing this all on their own. They have no respite, they have no community, they have no support…” —Lauren (28:36)
• “Who she was was someone who cared passionately about helping other people, teaching people...I just channeled that part of her…” —Lauren (31:21)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Caregiving Rage & Emotional Strain: 00:40-02:42
• Relationship & Early Diagnosis: 04:13-07:11
• Therapy and Family Dynamics: 11:41-13:41
• Advocacy & Congressional Testimony: 14:54-18:33
• Hilarity for Charity—Origins and Impact: 19:33-21:49
• Anticipatory Grief & Processing Death: 22:25-24:54
• Caregiver Grants & What Caregivers Need: 25:41-28:36
• Shifting the Stigma & Mom’s Legacy: 30:23-31:37

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Tone & Language

The episode is candid, heartfelt, and lightly humorous despite the gravity of the subject. All three—Yvette, Lauren, and Seth—speak plainly and honestly about pain, guilt, love, and the power of channeling hard emotions into systemic advocacy.

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Summary Takeaway

This conversation is a window into the hidden struggles and quiet heroism of family caregivers, particularly young adults thrust into the role. By sharing their own story—full of fear, frustration, love, and even laughter—Lauren and Seth help dismantle stigma, create meaningful support, and honor the legacies of those lost to Alzheimer’s. Their journey shows that while caregiving is isolating, it need not be lonely—and that small moments of grace and community can bring light to even the darkest seasons.

Transcript

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Lemonade. Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts for just 5 99. You'll get ad free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like this one Squeezed as well as Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, Fail Better with David Duchovny, and so many more. It's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother, uninterrupted listening experience. Just head to any limited show feed on Apple Podcasts and hit subscribe. Make life suck less with fewer ads with Lemonada Premium.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

I was supposed to be flying back and our dog wouldn't go to the bathroom. She hadn't peed in like 16 hours. And I was like, I have to get on the plane. And I was like, screaming. I was just, I was raging. You know what I mean?

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Caregivers, you know, this feeling, the feeling when everything is just too much and the next thing that goes wrong is going to be the thing that pushes you right over the edge. Lauren Miller Rogan's mom, Adele, had been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease about four years prior at just 55 years old. And at this moment in 2012, Lauren was deep in her feelings about it.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

My friends had recently moved to Los Angeles and we had, you know, an adjustment period. It was a new time. It was quite a transition.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Lauren and her husband Seth Rogen had just moved her parents from Florida to LA with round the clock care. These were big changes, lots of stress. And sometimes that stress exploded in unexpected places, like at the airport over a dog that refused to pee.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And Seth basically was like, we're not doing this.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Wow.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Like, you can't be like this. This isn't helpful. And I won't take this. I can, like, picture it still, that.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Rage, those raw feelings. I know them well. I remember feeling that way after my dad first got diagnosed with Alzheimer'. I didn't understand why it had to be him and why it had to be now and why it had to be me. It was all the whys that drive you crazy. For Seth and Lauren, those emotions were part of the daily storm of feelings they were learning to navigate together.

[Seth Rogen]

I remember saying that, like, yeah, like, I at least need a few minutes in the morning before, like, we fly into a. Fly into a rage. Maybe let me brush my teeth and have some coffee before I talk about.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

How horrible people are and how the.

[Seth Rogen]

World is awful and, you know, things like that. Maybe a few things like that. I remember.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

I'M Yvette Nicole Brown, and this is squeezed. Today, I'm overjoyed to be talking with Lauren Miller Rogan and Seth Rogen about navigating caregiving as a young couple and how they're changing the way America talks about Alzheimer's disease with their foundation and Hilarity for charity. When you meet other people who have also cared for a family member with Alzheimer's, there's an understanding you both have about what that journey is really like. The waves of grief, the rage that comes out of nowhere, and those small moments of joy that you have to latch onto as lifelines. When I met Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller Rogan, I thought, oof, they get it. And while I truly wish we weren't in this club together, being able to talk about Alzheimer's disease makes the caregiving journey way less lonely. And boy, have they made it their mission to speak about it. By using their social media platforms and their foundation, Hilarity for Charity, they've been putting Alzheimer's in the spotlight.

[Seth Rogen]

Seth Rogen and his wife, Lauren Miller Rogen, not only one of Hollywood's big comedy couples, together they're a powerful team raising money and awareness for Alzheimer's. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for being here tonight at hilarity for charity's 10th birthday extravaganza.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

But before they got into all their advocacy work, before they could have even imagined talking about this disease publicly, they were a young couple falling in love.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Seth and I met in May of 2005, and I had been in Los Angeles for about a year and a half, and, you know, it was. I was an assistant. I was, like, making friends and, you know, starting my circle, starting my life. And in the background, my mom was starting to repeat herself.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Only a few months into dating, Lauren's parents flew out to LA to celebrate her birthday and to meet her new boyfriend, Seth.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And then I dropped them off at the airport and then went back over to Seth's apartment. And it was the first time I acknowledged it out loud and was like, oh, she's changing. And, you know, he didn't have any reference for her before, so he was like, oh, she seemed great. What do you mean? Because in many ways, of course, she was still very much herself at that point. It was so early, but I knew, as family members do, because you know that person so intimately, she was my mother.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Not long after that, Adele was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Lauren was only 25 years old. From that point on, Alzheimer's was running in the background. Of her relationship with Seth.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

It was this thing. We were falling in love. My career was growing. I, you know, found my footing as a writer. I made my first film. Like, you know what I mean? All these things happened while she was sick, while we were caring for her, while I was watching my mother slowly die from this terrible, terrible thing.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Lauren told me Seth was supportive from the start.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Luckily, Seth was someone who wasn't afraid of dark stuff and emotions and was always able to sort of hold my deep and dark feelings about it, my anger. And, you know, because he comes from a family, his mother and sister are social workers and, you know, comes from a family that is comfortable with the layers of emotions and mental health. And ultimately was the person who pushed me to go to therapy for professional help, which was huge. And then, of course, ultimately, you know, was right by my side when I was ready to start talking about it.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

So you're now in this new relationship with all the joy and the love and wonderful stuff that comes from that, and then you're also now facing what's happening with your mom. Can you explain how you were able to balance both. You know, new relationships are wonderful, and someone who understands and wants to walk the journey with you is a blessing, but at the same time, you're terrified. I'm imagining of what's about to happen. So how did you balance those two versions of yourself while you were in the midst of this?

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Yeah, I mean, did I balance myself, Seth? I don't know.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

That's a good question.

[Seth Rogen]

Balance yourself pretty well. Yeah, pretty balanced.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Lauren already knew a lot about Alzheimer's disease in those early days of her mom's diagnosis, because both of Adele's parents, Lauren's grandparents, had it, too. Adele had been their caregiver, and she didn't want Lauren to have to go through what she had gone through.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

My mom gave me an incredible gift early on in her diagnosis, which was I was not to stop living my life for her. And I was also incredibly lucky to have a father who was so devoted to his beautiful wife and wanted to be there right next to her every step of the way. And so I didn't need to do that. And I was incredibly lucky that I didn't have to do that.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Yeah.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And ultimately knew that. That what she wanted was for me to live the life that she had taught me to live, that she had raised me to go after and get. So I was. I was able to carry that with me in a. I'm going to keep living for my mom, because that's what she wanted. And, and, and that's a very privileged and lucky place to be. And I've heard many stories from caregivers who, you know, who weren't able to make that choice. Right. But I think that's how, you know, I was able to do it. And, you know, and the fact that I had such an amazing partner in Seth. Yeah. And he just smiled, smiled deeply, you know, and I think that I had something that I could lean on and someone who was willing to, to be there for me through that time and I needed it.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

So can you take me back to where you were? Cause I've heard you say that this was your first real grown up relationship. Right?

[Seth Rogen]

Yeah.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

And now you're facing not just loving this amazing woman, but you're facing walking with her through something that's very difficult. So what is it like for you as an early 20s kid, basically, and this woman you're falling in love with is facing this huge thing. What is it in you? And is it the social work background of your family? Is what is it in you that made you say, I'm going to stay through this and I'm going to walk with her through this?

[Seth Rogen]

I mean, there was never really, I mean, I didn't even really think of an alternative. We were very in love. It was the first time I was really like very in love with anybody. And so, and I was so happy, you know, and she's so wonderful. That like, the idea that this would be a thing that would make me not want to be around her anymore is very, it's nowhere near where I was at at the time or since. And so, yeah, it didn't even occur to me. Once you're, you know, in a relationship with someone, then like, these are the things you deal with together, you know.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

And together they had a lot to deal with. Figuring out how to be in a real relationship for the first time, navigating careers that were taking off, all the while trying to keep up with what was happening with Adele and Scott back in Florida. Adele had been an elementary school teacher for 35 years. She was a doer, always the class mom, quick to tell a corny joke, and she would whip up enormous meals for Thanksgiving and Passover Seders. But now diagnosed with Alzheimer's, she was changing and she knew it early on.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

My mom is, she's, yes, these things are happening and she's showing signs, but she's also very much aware and alert in the beginning. And she's resistant and feeling defensive and obviously scared. She had seen both of her parents. So it was like, you know, obviously she was terrified.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Adele didn't want anyone to know about her diagnosis. She had a lot of shame around the disease. Scott was her primary caregiver.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

It was a struggle in the beginning. We, you know, once my dad, you know, realized we needed some help, he, you know, would bring someone in for a few hours, and, you know, I would say it was sort of a dance between my mom accepting it, sort of having to, you know, play along and sort of, this woman is here as a housekeeper, you know, creating a reality that fit and worked and made things okay, you know. And then, of course, my mom was more advanced and didn't really have a fight against bringing people in, which we're so lucky that, you know, we really didn't. It wasn't a struggle in that way for a long time, and I know that that's not the case with so many people, but my dad, you know, is an amazing husband and a real superhero and a man, and so he struggled bringing help in.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Over time, caring for Adele became a 247 job. She needed someone to clean and feed her, someone to make sure she didn't try to escape the house. Scott even had to put wax paper on the windows to keep her inside. Lauren could see that caregiving was taking a toll on her dad.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

I did go to therapy with my dad a couple times.

[Seth Rogen]

That was probably more helpful, which was.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Really helpful, you know, navigating that relationship, I think, you know, early on, like, I think it just takes a long time to find your role, especially in our family dynamic, where, you know, my dad was the primary. And it was honestly through therapy that my therapist was like, if your dad wants to be the primary caregiver, let him. He's her husband. Let him be the primary carer. And my therapist was like, you be his caregiver.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

But by the fall of 2011, the situation was becoming too much to handle. Seth and Lauren flew down to Florida. Seth's parents came, too, for a family visit with Lauren's parents.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And ultimately, we had actually a conversation. We included Seth's parents in it and just sort of a whole family conversation of, like, this situation that you're living in, where it's basically the two of you alone in this house in Florida is not sustainable. And it was clear that it was exhausting my father and affecting his health and was going on for no reason because we were lucky that we could afford more. And basically, once we sort of realized that they were in Florida and my brother was up in the northeast and we were on the west coast and it was like, well, we, you know, why are they alone? And so when we brought them out here, that was honestly, it had gotten so difficult, the distance, that it was.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Like, yes, it's time. This is when in 2012, Scott and Adele got a duplex in LA near Seth and Lauren. Scott lived on one side and Adele was on the other with a 24 hour caregiver looking after her.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Yeah, and we, you know, set them up in a great situation and she had care and my dad was able to be her, her primary caregiver till the very, very end. But also with professional help. Yeah. Which is huge.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

I know this journey well. I had my dad with me at home for 11 and a half years until he had a fall and needed professional care. Letting in that help, as necessary as it may be, brings up a lot of feelings. You feel guilty for needing it. You feel relieved when it helps. Sometimes you feel both at the same time. All of those feelings are valid, but they're also exhausting at the end of the day, if you're blessed enough to have the resources, getting that help can be exactly what everyone needs, including the person you're caring for. After the break, we're diving into how Seth and Lauren turned the shame inside silence around Alzheimer's into a movement that's changing the conversation for families everywhere.

[Seth Rogen]

Now we'll turn to Mr. Seth Rogan. Mr. Rogan, welcome and please proceed.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

In February 2014, Seth Rogen went to Washington.

[Seth Rogen]

Thank you for the opportunity to testify today and for the opportunity for me to be called an expert at something, because that's cool.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

He was there to speak before the Senate Committee on Appropriations about Alzheimer's and to call out the lack of conversation and funding for the disease.

[Seth Rogen]

First, I should answer the question I assume many of you are asking. Yes, I'm aware this has nothing to do with the legalization of marijuana. In fact, if you can believe it, this concerns something that I find even more important. I started dating my wife, Lauren, nine years ago when her mother was almost 54 years old.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Seth described how Adele began to forget who she was, who her loved ones were, and eventually needed around the clock care by age 60. He shared how this was the first time he saw Alzheimer's up close.

[Seth Rogen]

Another thing I didn't realize until I was personally affected was the shame and stigma associated with the disease. It was before I was born, but I'm told of a time when cancer had a stigma that people were ashamed by. Celebrities and other public figures that were stricken would Hide rather than be voices of hope for people in similar situations. And although it's turning this. This is currently where we are largely at with Alzheimer's disease.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

It seems like this video has almost 7 million views on YouTube. And I think that speaks to the fact that at that time, and even to this day, we don't hear enough of these stories. To see someone speak so openly is.

[Seth Rogen]

Powerful people look to their government for hope. And I ask that when it comes to Alzheimer's disease, you continue to take more steps to provide some more. I would like to thank the committee again for the opportunity to share my story and. And to voice my wholehearted support for the continuing work that pursues a cure for Alzheimer's disease. Thank you very much. Thank you, Mr. Hogan. That was great. That was very, very good. Thanks.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Was that a little harrowing for you or were you like, let's go. Like, what were you thinking when you went.

[Seth Rogen]

I don't know. I didn't have a. I had a lot of experience with Washington D.C. as it were. I mean, it was really. It was quite weird, to be honest. It's so nice that it was filmed and found an aud. And I think what essentially happened is nobody showed up. And I don't understand how that worked. And you're testifying in front of Congress, as it were, members of Congress and there was one guy there, like 30 empty seats or something like that. They can at least take away the empty seat. So you don't see specifically how many people have opted out of this. And. And to me, that was just very disheartening and sort of confusing and, you know, as someone with a big ego, a little hurt. And so I wound up just talking about that a lot, which I think sort of drew attention to it also. Just sort of as I was doing talk shows and interviews and things like that. But then I think was sort of because of that, a lot of people watched it and it became highly viewed, which was great. I don't know, I remember just wanting to sort of be honest and give my perspective on it and, you know, expose what I think are pretty simple, like hypocrisies as far as the funding of Alzheimer's research in comparison to other things that are much more treatable, you know, and that we know much more about. And, yeah, I'm glad so many people ended up watching it. It became like one of C span's most viewed videos, which isn't saying a ton, but, you know, it was. It's good for that. Yeah.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

But it shows how many People needed to hear it.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

That's what I think too. That lack of attendance shows how little thought was given to Alzheimer's at the time. Thankfully, that's been changing over the years, and Seth and Lauren have been a big part of that shift. By the time Seth testified, they'd already been doing advocacy work through Hilarity for Charity, their foundation, which started as a variety show in LA in 2012, it's now a non profit helping families struggling with Alzheimer's care. Today it also helps increase support groups nationwide and helps advance cutting edge research.

[Seth Rogen]

Hello. Thank you. Come on. It's gonna be a wonderful night. There he is. Ladies and gentlemen, Aziz Ansari.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Oh, wow. Thank you.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Thank you. Can you tell me about the very first variety show you guys put on for Hilarity for charity? How did it all come together? How did you get people to say yes and were you scared to do it? Were you nervous about turnout? Tell me about that very first one.

[Seth Rogen]

Yeah, we, you know, it was a pretty, like, I think on its surface was very intuitive, which was like, you know, we're comedians, our friends, you know, we kind of come from a group of people who put on variety shows, basically. And so it was sort of intuitive in a lot of ways. It was just like, oh, we'll put on a variety show and we'll give the money to Alzheimer's charity, you know, And I think, yeah, in the first one, we didn't even necessarily mention Alzheimer's. It was before we were talking about this all the time. And I think it was before, like, we ourselves really had, like, you know, a clear and simple and honest way to speak to all this stuff. But we got there over the years, yeah, got a lot better.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Through that first variety show. They raised $300,000. They've held more fundraising events, have awarded over 475,000 hours of in home care relief with their caregiver resp grant program, and even produced a documentary film called Taking Care, which honors Adele's life and brings attention to the disease. I love how much they're doing for the cause while still keeping things fun. I asked Seth about finding that balance. Humor is in the name Hilarity for charity. So, Seth, can you tell us why is humor so essential to this work, in your opinion?

[Seth Rogen]

Oh, I mean, it's just the only thing we. No, really. I mean, we joke that if we were, you know, chefs, it would call it, you know, baking for charity or something. Like, it's just our only thing. You know, we both are writers, you know, and our friends are mostly comedians, and the people we have access to to occupy our shows are largely comedians. And. Yeah. So it's all we can, you know, uniquely offer, I think, in a lot of ways. And it's nice that it is, like, a welcome contrast. I. It does make it an easier subject matter to talk about and think about. And if you're going to go to a charity event for something outwardly depressing, it's nice to know that it at least is, like, packaged in a entertaining, you know, kind of fun way. It wasn't some, like, grand plan on our part. It was really just very organically what we had to offer.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

It was also a way to channel the sadness and helplessness of watching Adele decline more and more. For all the advocacy work, all the events and fundraising, nothing could stop the progression of Alzheimer's. By 2020, after 16 years of living with this disease, Adele's journey was coming to an end. How did you all navigate the grief that followed? Because you have the anticipatory grief. You know, it's coming, and then, of course, it happens. How did you all process that together?

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

It was so surreal. It was like, okay, this thing that I've been afraid of and anticipating with immense grief for 16 years is happening. And it was. You know, it was just so hard to be like, oh, it's finally here. And I sat with her. We all sat with her, you know, in those last weeks. And I had a lot of moments where I said goodbye and said things that I needed to say. And then she. And then she passed away, you know, and that week was, again, it was so surreal. I remember I kept. Seth can tell you. I kept saying, can you believe my mom is dead? My mom died. My mom is dead.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Can you believe it?

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Can you believe it? And then after the first week without her, and I hope I can say this and not sound insensitive, I know.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

What you're gonna say.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

I felt lighter than I had felt in 16 years.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Yes, honey, I know. I know, I know.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And I had mourned her for 16 years.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Yeah.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And it's kind of weird to say this, but what was pain when she was alive made it hurt so much less after.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Yep.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And I have not lost someone quickly. I have only lost someone over a long period like this.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Yeah.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And I don't think one is better than the other. But, like, I had mourned, I had grieved. I hadn't spoken to my mom in eight years.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Yeah, that part.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

You know what I mean? And sure, I spoke to her, but I'd Had a conversation with her.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Had a conversation. Right, right, right.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And so I was already used to missing her. I missed her. So I sat in front of her for years, desperate for her, and so I didn't have to get used to it. And so it was like, oh, I'm. I still miss her in the same way. I still bring her with me in the same way in my heart and in my experiences. But I no longer felt that anticipatory grief of, is she in pain? I'm certainly in pain. How will this end? I knew how it ended, and we all survived.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Up next, we're zooming in on how Seth and Lauren are continuing to make Adele's legacy shine with Hilarity for Charity. That's after the break. Seth, you've spoken about how the greatest or one of the greatest barriers to caregiving is money. And thankfully, you guys were blessed to be able to take care of Adele, but a lot of people can't do that in their homes. And so you guys have come up with this great grant program through Hilarity for Charity, and I would love to celebrate that right now. Can you tell me about that and how you choose the people who get the grants and how they can apply and all of that?

[Seth Rogen]

Yeah, basically we saw, yeah, that like, our money made the problem much more easier. And being able to afford, you know, 24 hour a day in home care for Lauren's mother, like, just was a life changing thing for many people. And. And so, yeah, that was. Became like a very sort of immediate thing it seemed like we could achieve was just giving grants. So people who can't afford that could get in home care for. For free, basically. Yeah. And then, yeah, they would apply through the charity and there was a very sad process where they would go through these applications and pick who appeared to be the most, I guess, immediately in need of these grants.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Yeah, yeah. And so every month we would read the applications, which, yeah, was, you know, gut wrenching. Gut wrenching.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Okay, so this one is an interesting.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Like, Mary Evans is caring for her.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Brother who has Alzheimer's. She has lost her home due to finances and they moved into an apartment together. She is his full time caregiver. She quit her job and she's having a hard time paying for medications right now. In Seth and Lauren's documentary Taking Care, there's this scene where they're sitting around a table going through stack after stack of caregiver applications. You can see it on their faces, how every story hits them. Most moving of all is when they make the calls to recipients letting them know they've been awarded a grant.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Hello? Hi, is this Mary?

[Seth Rogen]

Yes.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Hi, Mary. This is Lauren Miller Rogan calling from Hilarity for Charity.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Hello.

[Seth Rogen]

How are you?

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

I'm doing well. I'm here with my husband Seth.

[Seth Rogen]

Hi.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And I. Hi.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

How are you?

[Seth Rogen]

Good.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

We read your application and it was so very moving, and we'd love to award you 15 hours of care a week for a full year, completely paid and taken care of. Is that something that could be helpful for you?

[Seth Rogen]

Yes, definitely. Definitely.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Every single person who applied deserved it. And we only had and still only have X amount of dollars. And so we unfortunately cannot, I think we fund something. 20 something percent of the applications we receive. While it was gut wrenching, it was also honestly amazing.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

You guys, thank you so much.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

And the committee and everybody, thank you.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

For making this presentation.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

You're so welcome.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Thank you.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Thank you for letting us be a part of your life this way. Okay, thank you.

[Seth Rogen]

I'm looking forward to the call tomorrow.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

What did you find caregivers need most? And it might be a cup of coffee and time to breathe. I mean, I'd love that. But what did you hear the most from the applications?

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

I think that caregivers are just. Too many of them are lonely, and they are doing this all on their own. They have no respite, they have no community, they have no support. And so I think for us, it was like, all right, let's give people actual respite. Literal hours where they can leave their home or go to another room and close the door so they can reset. But also provide community. Because I think that just getting through this alone is so hard, and it makes it worse. And so, you know, so I think that I wish that, you know, caregivers could have more community. They could have more respite. And I wish that probably a lot of caregivers could pat themselves on the back a bit more than they probably do. Oh, wouldn't that be lovely? Because, you know, I. I've seen it over and over again. I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing enough. And it's like, oh, my God, you're doing everything you possibly can.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

This work. Lifting up caregivers and ending the silence around Alzheimer's. It's the complete opposite of where Seth and Lauren began their journey. Remember, Adele had shame around her diagnosis. She didn't want people to know what she was going through. Now her daughter runs one of the most successful and visible Alzheimer's organizations in the country. I wanted to know What Lauren thought about that transformation. I think it was very powerful, Lauren, that your mom didn't want anyone to know that she had Alzheimer's. But now you run an organization that is all about educating and talking about this disease. And there's a whole documentary about her journey. What do you make of that? And what do you think Adele would think of Hilarity for Charity?

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Yeah, you know, she really didn't want us to talk about it in the beginning, and she was. But I, you know, number one, I'm a storyteller, and I've never been good at, like, holding it in. I'm just not. And I, you know, write, I share, I talk. I have great friends who let me lean on them. And so I had to do that ultimately. But then really came back around to. Honestly, before the disease started, before the defensiveness set in, before the fear set in, she was a woman who was really passionate about stuff. And she always used her voice. She was, you know, always very active in her school and the school board and our synagogue and all of our activities. And she was the class mom. Even though she had a full time job, she was always her class mom. And like, you know, and I. I just was like, I'm not gonna listen to the voice that came out when she was already sick.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

Right.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Because that wasn't her.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

That wasn't her.

[Lauren Miller Rogan]

Who she was was someone who cared passionately about helping other people, teaching people. And so really, I just channeled that part of her to be like, no, you want something, you don't like the way something's going, you be the one to change it.

[Yvette Nicole Brown]

And they really have changed things, not just through the money they've raised and the caregivers they've supported, but also by shifting the whole conversation. Sitting there with Seth and Lauren, I kept thinking about their younger selves. 220 somethings falling in love and suddenly facing something most people don't expect to deal with until much later in life. But they had grit and found the resources to give Adele the care she needed until the very end. Not to mention they were able to build a stronger relationship together. Now they're sharing those resources and wisdom with other caregivers they're teaching, just like Adele did for so much of her life. And that's something I know she'd be incredibly proud to see today. Squeezed is a Lemonada Media original. I'm your host, Yvette Nicole Brown, Lisa Fu and Hannah Boomershine are our producers. Muna Danish is our senior producer. Bobby Woody is our engineer. Our theme music is by Andy, Kristen's daughter, with additional music by APM Music. Jackie Danziger is our VP of Narrative Content. Executive producers are Me, Yvette Nicole Brown, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Whittles. Wax this show was created in partnership with the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, a leading national philanthropy dedicated to taking bold leaps to transform health in our lifetime and pave the way together to a future where health is no longer a privilege, but a right. Follow squeeze wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership.