Podcast Summary: Squeezed with Yvette Nicole Brown

Episode: Raising Kids, Fighting Cancer
Date: October 8, 2025
Host: Yvette Nicole Brown
Guest: Tara Kovach
Produced by: Lemonada Media

Overview

This episode of Squeezed centers on the harrowing, heartfelt journey of caregiving while facing cancer—specifically, what it means to raise young children in the midst of a cancer battle. Host Yvette Nicole Brown speaks with Tara Kovach, a mother of two from Juneau, Alaska, who was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer at 47. Through candid conversation, they explore themes of parental guilt, isolation, and resilience, as well as the evolving definition of "enough" as a parent and caregiver during and after serious illness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Ever-Present Question: “Am I Doing Enough?”

• Tara reflects on the pressures and worries of parenting while seriously ill—wanting to create memorable experiences in case her time is cut short.
  • [01:41] Tara Kovach:
    “I actually wanted to go bigger because I thought, what if this is the last party? … You never know. I think everything I do, I have that in the back of my mind. Am I doing enough?”
• Yvette connects Tara’s fears to the universal anxieties of caregivers:
  • [02:42] Yvette Nicole Brown:
    “Parents, really, any type of caregiver often wonder this. Am I doing enough? But not all have survived stage three cancer and live with the constant worry that it could come back.”

2. Diagnosed Amidst a Life Rebuilding

• Tara’s diagnosis came just as she was recovering from a difficult divorce and starting a new chapter.
  • [05:13] Tara Kovach:
    “I felt like my life was just getting back on track…then, you know, I got the diagnosis, and everything came crashing down again.”
• Cancer was found during a routine check:
  • [05:44] Tara Kovach:
    “I went in for my normal annual checkup… my doctor… just saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, over and over again. Because he knew...that it was cancer.”

3. Parenting Through Crisis: Breaking the News & Building Memories

• Tara chose not to use the word “cancer” with her young children, instead framing her illness as something simply needing surgery.
  • [06:46] Tara Kovach:
    “Oh, that's young, you know, so they didn't really have...understanding of what cancer was… I never used the words cancer because that's not something they would really understand.”
• Squeezing in joy: Last-minute vacation to Great Wolf Lodge before surgery, while hiding her anxiety and worry.
  • [09:51] Tara Kovach:
    “We all went to a little dance party in the lobby one night in their pajamas… them, like, dancing and smiling…made the whole trip worth it.”

4. The Physical and Emotional Toll of Treatment

• Post-surgery hardship: Unable to hug her kids as she wanted, managing their curiosity and her healing.
  • [11:44] Tara Kovach:
    “I have stitches in my stomach. We have to be really careful. … They wanted to see my stitches. And my son…said, ew, that's gross.”
• Chemotherapy logistics: Scheduling treatments around her custody schedule, always aiming to appear healthy for her kids.
  • [13:59] Tara Kovach:
    “I would be in the infusion center…then they would affix a chemo ball to me, so that I would carry it with me.”
  • Safety and exhaustion: “There are very toxic chemicals that you can't spill.” [15:01]
  • The cumulative difficulty: “...The longer you're on chemotherapy, the harder it is on your system...you have brain fog, you have nausea, you have neuropathy.” [15:33]

5. Working, Parenting, Supporting—With Little Peer Support

• No applicable support groups for young parents balancing work, illness, and active caregiving.
  • [16:31] Tara Kovach:
    “…even the people who had been in remission more recently were already in retirement age...They didn't really have a point of reference of having small children or…working full time to keep…health insurance.”

6. The "Sandwich Generation" Pressure—Caring for Parents While Ill

• Tara’s mother broke her hip during Tara’s treatment, leading to guilt over being unable to help in person.
  • [17:33] Tara Kovach:
    “I wasn't able to travel to help her...I just wasn't able to risk being on a plane…So that was really, really hard.”
• Yvette empathizes, pinpointing the endemic, unwarranted guilt caregivers carry.
  • [18:53] Yvette Nicole Brown:
    “You have enough on your plate already. Guilt cannot fit on that plate, it cannot.”

7. The Lingering Shadow of Remission (“Scanxiety”)

• Post-treatment brings new isolation and anxiety, not relief.
  • [20:50] Tara Kovach:
    “...They weren't prepared for how hard it was going to be after chemotherapy...When you're in the fight… Your purpose is to get through that…then…you feel very isolated.”
• The acute anxiety of monitoring for recurrence colors every milestone and memory-making.
  • [22:56] Tara Kovach:
    “Every three months when I need to go in for my blood tests, and every six months when I go in for my scans, anxiety really overpowers me…What if this is the last birthday party I get to throw for them?”

8. What Children Remember

• Discussing with her son, Tara illustrates how children often process illness with an innocence adults find both heartening and heartbreaking.
  • [24:06] Tara Kovach & son Cal:
    “Was it like a plant? … No, it was just part of my body. But it was a part that wasn't supposed to be there.”

9. Fundamental Change—and Small Acts of Love

• Cancer changed Tara profoundly—sometimes for the better, sometimes not.
  • [25:15] Tara Kovach:
    “It changes you…It makes you more worried...but it also makes you more grateful, more appreciative, maybe more loving and more patient…it's the little things that kids do remember…”
• Cherished daily rituals: snuggle time, tracing games, bedtime affirmations.
  • [26:16] Tara Kovach:
    “We all get in the bed together and, like, snuggle and chat and talk about our days...I call it pouring love into them…”

10. Relief—For Now

• Tara receives good test results—no detectable tumor DNA.
  • [27:57] Tara Kovach:
    “My heart was pounding…circulating Tumor DNA not detected. So it was a huge, huge relief.”
• She describes the physical release of tension and immediate need to share and savor the moment.
  • [28:27] Tara Kovach:
    “You have this knot basically in your chest and as soon as I saw the results, I just felt it release completely.”

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Am I doing enough? Is always the thing that I...have to think about. Am I being there for them enough? Am I listening enough? Am I cuddling them enough? Am I being supportive enough? And that's hard. It's a really hard thing to do.”
  — Tara Kovach [01:41]

• “You have enough on your plate already. Guilt cannot fit on that plate, it cannot.”
  — Yvette Nicole Brown [18:53]

• “When you're in the fight, when you're doing chemotherapy, you've got a purpose… And then once that's done…then you feel very isolated. That's when most people get depressed, and...have a lot of anxiety issues.”
  — Tara Kovach [20:50]

• “I hope that's what stays with them as they get older. No matter what happens.”
  — Tara Kovach [27:12]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:39 — Tara talks about her daughter’s 10th birthday and the ever-present “what if”
• 03:43 — Tara discusses hiding her anxiety while waiting for test results
• 05:13 — Life right before diagnosis
• 05:44 — Discovery and confirmation of cancer
• 06:46 — Telling her young children about her illness
• 09:51 — Vacation at Great Wolf Lodge, fighting to be present
• 11:44 — Coming home from surgery, physical barriers to parenting
• 13:59 — The realities of chemotherapy with young children
• 16:31 — The lack of suitable support groups
• 17:33 — Unable to physically help aging parent during her illness
• 20:50 — The unexpected psychological toll after remission
• 22:56 — Parenting under the cloud of “scanxiety”
• 24:06 — Conversation with her son about her surgery
• 25:15 — How cancer changes you as a parent and person
• 26:12 — Cherished small family rituals
• 27:57 — Good news: Tumor DNA not detected; instant relief

Conclusion

Episode “Raising Kids, Fighting Cancer” offers a candid glimpse into the loneliness, guilt, and small triumphs of parenting while fighting a life-threatening illness. Tara Kovach’s story is a testament to resilience and the power of small gestures in the face of uncertainty. Yvette Nicole Brown’s empathetic interviewing and shared experiences add warmth and understanding, providing comfort to caregivers and validation to anyone who’s ever wondered if they’re doing enough. The episode balances anxiety with moments of joy and leaves listeners with hope, reminding us that love, above all, endures.