Stage Combat The Podcast – Episode: "Loving Someone Traumatized By The Industry"

Release Date: December 31, 2024

Hosts and Guests:

• Sean Hayden: Host of Stage Combat The Podcast
• Eddie: Actor who shared his traumatic experience working on Broadway’s "Wicked"
• Tony: Eddie’s husband, providing personal insights into supporting a partner through trauma
• Ian: Sean Hayden’s husband
• Carol: Ian’s mother
• Dr. Michelle Sherman: Clinical Psychologist and co-author of "Loving Someone with a Mental Illness or A History of Trauma"

1. Personal Struggles and Emotional Impact

The episode opens with a heartfelt conversation between Sean Hayden, Eddie, and other family members discussing the profound emotional toll Eddie's traumatic experience in the theater industry has had on his personal life.

• Eddie’s Termination from "Wicked":

  • [04:26] Eddie describes his abrupt termination from "Wicked" as a "gut punch," leading to intense emotional distress:

    "I walked out of there in a daze, and I came home and I sat on the couch and I bawled... I don't think I cried as hard like that since my mom had passed away."

• Impact on Family:

  • [03:42] Sean mentions that Eddie's trauma didn't just affect him but rippled through their entire family:

    "We were deprived of you... when you're in bad shape, Ian’s in bad shape. Of course, and when Ian's in bad shape, I'm in bad shape."

• Tony’s Perspective as a Supportive Partner:

  • [05:16] Tony shares his anguish watching Eddie navigate his trauma:

    "It was really a terrible experience... to watch all this subversive action being taken against him and to see him not understand why?"

2. The Ripple Effect of Workplace Trauma

Sean Hayden emphasizes that trauma from the workplace extends beyond the individual, affecting spouses, children, and extended family members.

• Ian’s Reflection on Trauma:

  • [04:26] Ian introduces the concept of trauma's broader impact:

    "My story was the first of many... what happens when someone is traumatized by an employer."

• Dr. Michelle Sherman’s Insights:

  • [19:50] Dr. Sherman underscores the importance of recognizing the emotional toll on family members:

    "They are at higher risk for developing emotional problems themselves because the challenges of loving someone with a mental illness or trauma are significant."

3. Coping Strategies for Loved Ones

The discussion delves into practical strategies for partners and family members to support someone dealing with trauma.

• Maintaining Presence:

  • [27:50] Dr. Sherman advises maintaining a supportive presence without pushing:

    "Maintain presence, meaning don't walk away... let your loved one know that you're there."

• Setting Healthy Boundaries:

  • [32:08] She emphasizes the necessity of setting limits to preserve one's own mental health:

    "Does not excuse or condone or rationalize or abusive behavior... you deserve to be treated with respect."

• Seeking Support:

  • [28:07] Encouraging loved ones to connect with support networks:

    "Connect with other people... seek support for yourself... even if you feel guilty."

4. Overcoming Stigma and Encouraging Therapy

The episode highlights the barriers to seeking mental health care and the importance of overcoming stigma.

• Addressing Stigma:

  • [35:24] Dr. Sherman suggests reframing the conversation around mental health to reduce stigma:

    "Everyone wants to sleep better, everyone wants to feel better... talk to the doctor about your sleep."

• Practical Support:

  • [36:31] Sean stresses the importance of helping loved ones navigate the barriers to accessing care:

    "Offering help to overcome obstacles is really key."

5. The Industry’s Responsibility and Ripple Effects

A critical examination of how the theater industry’s mistreatment of artists leads to widespread consequences.

• Impact Beyond the Individual:

  • [39:02] Dr. Sherman points out that trauma affects not just the individual but their entire support system:

    "The ripple effects can be so great and so many ways in terms of their well-being."

• Call for Industry Awareness:

  • [39:51] Tony challenges the industry to recognize and address the extensive damage caused:

    "Is our industry not recognizing not only the damage that we're doing to artists, but forgetting that every time you damage an artist, there is a ripple effect?"

6. Conclusion and Forward Look

The episode concludes with reflections on the importance of acknowledging and addressing the broader impacts of workplace trauma and a preview of upcoming topics.

• Acknowledgment and Support:

  • [42:40] Sean and Tony toast to the resilience of those who have stood up against industry mistreatment:

    "A toast to you for the new year, for standing up and making it to the other side."

• Upcoming Discussions:

  • [43:09] A teaser for the next episode focusing on union trust and support:

    "In the next episode of Stage Combat, the podcast Sean has questions for the union."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Eddie on His Termination:

  "[04:26] 'It was a gut punch. It was literally a gut punch... I don't think I cried as hard like that since my mom had passed away.'"

• Tony on Supporting Eddie:

  "[05:16] '...he loves to perform and see him not understand why?'"

• Dr. Michelle Sherman on Family Impact:

  "[19:50] '...family members... at higher risk for developing emotional problems themselves...'"

• Dr. Sherman on Setting Boundaries:

  "[32:08] '...does not excuse or condone or rationalize or abusive behavior... you deserve to be treated with respect.'"

• Tony on Industry Responsibility:

  "[39:02] 'Is our industry not recognizing not only the damage that we're doing to artists, but forgetting that every time you damage an artist, there is a ripple effect?'"

Final Thoughts: "Loving Someone Traumatized By The Industry" is a poignant exploration of how trauma stemming from the performing arts industry affects not only the individuals directly involved but also their loved ones. Through personal stories and expert insights, the episode underscores the necessity for broader industry accountability and the importance of supportive relationships in healing and resilience.

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