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A
Would you hand me that, please?
B
Thank you.
Now, let's see. Survey. Survive. Susanna. Suspect.
A
Ah, here we are.
B
Suspense. Meaning held in doubt, expressing doubt. The state of being uncertain, undecided or insecure. State of anxious expectation or waiting for information such as to keep one in suspense. Therefore delay acquainting him with what he is eager to know. Suspense.
C
Hello, and welcome to Stars on Suspense. With the casts of classic Hollywood films in radio's outstanding theater of thrills. Our month of holiday movies continues today with It Happened on Fifth Avenue. It's a comedy about a vacant mansion, the clever vagrant who makes it his home, and the millionaire owner who, along with his family, wind up as guests for the holidays. Along the way, there's a love story where the wealthy man's daughter falls for an ex GI and the house becomes becomes a holiday hotel for several folks down on their luck and in need of a place to stay. The movie starred Victor Moore as Aloysius McKeever who hits on the great idea to take up residence in homes when their owners head off for winter vacation. Don DeFore played Jim Bullock, the ex GI who accepts the offer of a place to stay. Charles Ruggles as the true owner of the house. And Gail Storm as his daughter, who falls for Jim under an assumed identity. It's a holiday movie that I think tends to get overlooked among the classics. It's available to buy and rent digitally, and you can pick it up on Blu Ray courtesy of the Warner Archive. Today we'll hear suspense episodes starring two of the film's Charles Ruggles and Don deforestation, beginning with Mr. Ruggles, an actor who was best known for comedy but who made two great appearances on suspense. In fact, Charles Ruggles was the star of the show's very first episode from June 17, 1942, an adaptation of John Dickson Carr's the Burning Court. But today we'll hear his second appearance from February 10, 1944, an adaptation of the Dorothy L. Sayre's story Suspicion. Then we'll hear Don DeFore, who co stars with Mildred Natwick in the Furnished Floor, a radio thriller written by Lucille Fletcher, who gave us the Hitchhiker and Sorry, Wrong Number, just to name a few. This one aired on CBS on September 13, 1945. Finally, we'll hear the two actors recreate their film roles along with Victor Moore and Gail Storm in a Lux Radio Theater presentation of It Happened on Fifth Avenue. It's a rebroadcast courtesy of the Armed Forces Radio Service, and it originally aired on CBS on May 19, 1947. So now let's step inside the O' Connor mansion. It's okay. I know the owner. At least I think he's the owner. We'll kick things off with Charles Ruggles in suspicion right after these messages.
A
Here's sensational news for shavers, a terrific money saving offer on Colgate Shave cream and ever sharp shick injector razor.
B
Listen.
A
For only $0.89, Colgate offers you one, a genuine ever sharp chick injector razor whose retail value alone is $1. Two, an injector with 10 blades and three, a large size tube of Colgate shave Cream, either Colgate Brushless or Col Gate Lather. And you get all this for only $0.89. Right, men, here's your chance to get.
B
The ideal shaving combination at tremendous savings. Imagine, only $0.89 buys you a genuine ever sharp shicked injector razor. The world's only razor that changes blades automatically. As Bill said, its retail value alone is $1. You also get an injector with 10.
A
Super keen, super smooth ever sharp Schick blades. Retail value $0.49.
B
And to top it all, there's a large size tube of Colgate Shave cream.
A
Take your choice.
B
Colgate Brushless or Colgate Lather.
A
In one combination package, you get everything.
B
You need for swift, smooth, comfortable shaves.
A
And it cost you only $0.89. Yes, sir, Colgate offers this outstanding bargain to prove that no cream tops Colgate.
B
Brushless or Colgate Lather for shaves that.
A
Are slick, sweet and free of razor scrape. Whether you prefer a brush and you try Colgate Rapid Shave Cream or you choose the convenience of Colgate Brushless, you'll find this because they're light and finer textured, Colgate shave creams completely surround, soften.
B
And support each bristle better than greasy heavy creams.
A
Your razor doesn't skid or slip, but when you use Colgate Brushless, it cuts through clean and smooth. Try it tonight.
B
Say, Mr. Barnes, before we begin, I have some letters here I'd like to read. Oh, letters from some of our listeners.
A
Dan.
B
No, these are letters for some of our listeners. Men who have tough whiskers or tender skin. And the letters I want to read to them are M, O, L, L, E. You bet. Men, shaving torture ends when you start shaving with mole, the heavier brushless shaving cream.
A
Yes, sir.
B
With mole.
A
It's smooth.
B
So smooth it's slick soul slick.
A
It's a smooth, smooth, slick, slick shave.
B
You get with M O L L E Mole, the heavier brushless shaving cream. For tender skins. Yes, mole is the cream that's heavier.
A
The cream for a hard to cut.
B
Beard or a tender skin. Because mole is heavier, it not only softens your whiskers, it stands them up straight and lets your razor sail right through them.
A
So you shave faster, closer, easier, and.
B
You shave painlessly with mole, the heavier brushless shaving cream for tender skin.
A
When a cloud bursts and fresh, clean.
D
Rain falls on a grove of rich.
A
Green pine, it's mmm, so nice.
And now that same green skin scent.
B
Of pine is in.
A
New pine scented Lysol.
B
Right now, the one and only genuine Lysol brand disinfectant comes in a new pine scent.
A
It disinfects, deodorizes as nothing else does, kills diseased germs on contact. In laboratory tests, Lysol's anti germ action.
B
Kept working for seven full days. A bottle costs as little as 29 cents.
A
And it's so easy to use. Just add new pine scented Lysol to your suds.
B
When you clean in bathroom, kitchen, nursery, sick room, use pine scented Lysol because Lysol deep cleans make your home pine.
A
Sweet and Lysol clean. You can still get regular Lysol, too.
B
There's a big change going on, an important one for car buyers. It's the countrywide change to Rambler. Passing car after car in sales.
A
Rambler now leads all but two other.
B
Makes in state after state. What does it all mean? That Rambler has what people want and cannot get. In other cars, Rambler is the quality compact car. For instance, Rambler has plenty of hat room, shoulder room and leg room for six big people. Yet Rambler is so trim on the outside, it handles and parks with the greatest ease for first cost, gas, economy and resale value. Rambler is America's top economy car. Yet only Rambler offers the fine features of personalized comfort.
A
There are front seats that glide back.
B
And forward separately to perfectly fit short legs or long adjustable headrests, airliner reclining seats, twin travel beds, finest air conditioning at lowest cost. Throughout Rambler engineering is more advanced. Rambler workmanship more careful. Come in and drive the quality compact car Rambler. See your Rambler dealer. And now a tale well calculated to keep you in.
A
Suspense.
B
Roma wines present suspense.
Roma wine made in California for enjoyment throughout the world. Salud. Your health, senor. Roma wines host the world. The wine for your table is Roma wine made in California for enjoyment throughout the world. This is the man in Black, here to introduce this weekly half hour of suspense. Tonight from Hollywood, we bring you in A dramatic role and in a character different from those you are accustomed to seeing him portray. Mr. Charles Ruggles. But before we raise the curtain on this evening's suspense play, here is a message from your host, the Roma wine company of Fresno, California. Distance lends enchantment, says the old proverb. And it seems borne out in this little episode that we might see taking place at the smart and handsome Pan American club, Havana, Cuba. An American visitor is amazed that his Cuban host can picture the marvelous climate and rich, fruitful soil of California without ever having been there. But the Cuban responds. One circle sip alone of wonderful Roma wine tells me all that only true perfection of climate and soil could produce the perfection of your splendid California wine. Roma wine. That's all. And as Roma wines become available to wine connoisseurs of more and more lands, the chorus of praise grows for the truly superb quality of these good Roma wines. No wonder then, these wine experts of other lands are so eager to import Roma wines no matter what the distance is from our own California. And no wonder too, that these taste delighting Roma wines with no import duty to pay and without expensive shipping charges added to their cost, here are America's largest selling wines. With such richly rewarding enjoyment within your reach, why not get acquainted with your favorites among Roma wines, many different delightful wine types Remember the name R O M a Roma wine made in California for enjoyment throughout the world.
And now with Dorothy L. Sayers story Suspicion. And with the performance of Charles Ruggles as Mr. Hubert Mummery, Roma wines again. Hope to keep you in suspense.
Mr. Mummery took the morning train down to business as he always did. He opened the door of his office much as he always opened it, and saw his partner Brooks sitting at his desk as he always sat. And the world seemed perfectly orderly and dependable and sane.
A
And then it began.
B
Very simply, out of a few chance remarks, the terror took shape and grew until it was a black mountain of fear and suspicion.
Morning, mamary. Pleasant morning, huh? Yeah. Oh, quite, quite. I've been looking through some bank accounts. I have an idea they're trying to put us off into Hubert Mummery. What's the matter with you? With me? You gave me a start. Why, man, you're as white as a she. Oh, am I? Well, I. I'm not feeling quite myself this morning. Breakfast didn't agree with me. Didn't agree with me at all. Well, you'd better look after yourself. We're none of us as young as we once were. You always had a beastly stomach. Always I can't remember you having an attack like this in years, Mama.
That new missus of yours giving you proper food? Good, mild, digestible things?
A
No, I'm afraid Ethel knows nothing at.
B
All about a kitchen. Well, that's what you get from marrying a girl without showing it to a friend. Doing it in such a rush. 10 day courtship. And at your age. Well, you'll see why when you meet her.
A
Besides, it doesn't matter in the least.
B
After all, I was a bachelor up until a few weeks ago and rather used to taking care of myself, you know. My dear man, you're not telling me that you manage the household? Oh, hardly. No need for that. We've engaged a housekeeper who's a gem, really capable, motherly soul named Sutton. Ethel's delighted with her and so am I. Exceptional cook and all that. Well, that's excellent. We can all do with that sort of thing, you know. I say, you better take it easy and keep off your feet today. Man's health comes first, you know. Thanks, thanks. I'll be all right. I took one of my tablets on the train. Well, well, if you need anything, you let me know, huh? Yes. Oh, by the way, Mamary, I suppose your wife doesn't know another of those cooking gems, does she?
A
Well, I don't know.
B
They aren't so easy to find nowadays. Don't tell me your cook is leaving you. Oh, good Lord. Lord, no, no, no. Perish the thought. It's for the Philipsons. Their girl is getting married. Yeah, well, always said marriage is the graveyard of good cooks. Positively, positively. You know, I think it should be a criminal offense for cooks to feel the mating urge. Leaves the family high and dry. You know, I said to Philipson, you mind what you're doing. I said, you get somebody you know something about, or you may find yourself landed with this poisoning woman. What's her name? Mrs. Andrews. Carolyn Andrews. I don't want to be sending wreaths to your funeral yet a while, I said. Wasn't that a dreadful thing, though, that Andrews case? Ethel read some of it to me out of the newspapers. My, my. Gave me the cold horrors. Oh, that's a disgrace. I call it. Three people dead of poisoning. Falling ill one by one, gradually getting worse and worse and suddenly dying off like flies after a month or so of her cooking. And all the police say is they think she's hanging around the neighborhood and may seek employment. As a cook? As a cook. Now I ask you. Puts us all in the shed of the grave, doesn't it? Well, rather. It's only to be hoped that they'll catch this charming Mrs. Andrews before she tries her arsenic seasoning on somebody else. That's why I told Philipson to be careful about hiring a strange woman.
A
Well, quite right too.
B
One can't be too careful about a thing like that. I'll ask Sutton if she knows of another cook as good as she is. You won't need worry about anyone she recommends. Oh, excellent. I suppose she's worked for the right sort of people, Mama. Right sort?
A
Well, I imagine so. I don't know.
B
Well, didn't she bring references? Why, yes. Yes, she did. A great pile of them. Glowing ones too. But I don't know. Ethel and I were so glad to get someone that we haven't bothered to look them up. Really? It's 10:30. I must get back to work. Would you mind dictating a few letters, Mamay? Some dunners I do it, but I have some bills to get out in the next room. All right, I'm glad to. Well, I'll have Penny take them down, miss. Penny, will you step in here a moment, please?
D
Coming, Mr. Brooks.
B
Don't exert yourself, old man, because. Oh, Penny, Mr. Mamary will give you some letters for our forgetful customer.
D
Yes, sir.
B
And I'll be in the next office if I'm needed, Mamary. And. And do ask that sterling cook of yours to find someone for poor Philipson, eh? I'll speak to Sutton as soon as I get home. Good man.
D
You're looking a bit pale this morning, Mr. Mummery.
B
Yes, yes, I know. Let's get down to the letters, Penny, shall we?
D
Yes, sir.
B
Dear sirs, unless payment on your account is immediately forthcoming, we must institute proceedings which. Which? Which?
D
Yes, sir. Which, sir?
A
Oh, I was thinking. Wonderfully clever how that Mrs. Andrews manages.
B
To get positions with respectable families.
D
Wasn't nothing so clever about the last one, sir. No, no, she brought plenty of references. Glowing ones too, the paper said.
B
Where in the world would such a.
A
Woman come by honest references?
D
Oh, there wasn't no question of their honesty, Mr. Mummery.
B
What do you mean by that?
D
Oh, the poor deceased family was so glad to get someone that they never.
E
Even bothered to look them up.
B
Oh.
D
Why, whatever is the matter, sir? Have I said something that I should.
A
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
B
I'm going to go home, Miss Penny.
A
I. I don't feel well. Not at all well.
B
On the home, Mr. Mummery's mind kept up a continual flow of discomforting thoughts. Those references of Sutton. How did he know after all, yes, Brooks was quite right. One can't be too careful. Be sure you get someone you know something about. Or you may find yourself landed with this poisoning woman, this Mrs. Andrew.
The pain in Mr. Mummery's stomach gave a sudden twinge. He gripped the edge of his seat. He had eaten too quickly. His breakfast was. Had been too heavy. He must speak to Ethel about Sutton. Sutton.
As he walked up the quiet street of the remote little country town, the well known familiar landmarks looked somehow strange and menacing.
A
Reached the house, walked up the path.
B
And then something drew him round toward the back. Somehow, despite himself, he found himself overing the screen green door of Sutton's kitchen.
Miss Sutton.
D
Oh Lord.
You did give me a turn, Mr. Mummery. Well, I. I was so tight enough waiting for the potatoes to boil that I. I didn't hear the front door go at all, Sir.
A
Well, I use my key.
B
Sutton.
A
Where is Mrs. Mummery?
D
The poor dear was feeling a bit sickish after breakfast this morning and I. I might have lied down for a bit. She was looking so poorly.
B
Ethel's sick.
A
Ethel's never sick. I don't understand.
D
Oh, it was working about too much.
A
To done it if you ask me.
D
I. I told her to go light with it, but she's that rest, so she can't abide to be doing nothing.
A
Where is she now?
D
Well, that young Mr. Welbeck called by to get some flowers.
B
She.
D
He's promised his mother and he cheered her up a bit. She needed cheering too by the look.
A
Of her poor lamb.
B
Where are they, Sutton?
A
They're having their tea in the garden.
D
She's a deal better than she was.
A
A deal better. Well, I'm glad of that.
B
I'll step out and have a word with her.
D
Oh, Mr. Mumley.
B
Yes?
D
Before you go, I'd like to show you what I got for your dinner.
A
But I, I.
D
Just a moment, Miss.
A
There.
D
Have a look at that.
B
That steak and kidney pie, isn't it?
D
You'll find it beautiful and light. It's made with butter. It is. So you'll have no trouble at all digesting it?
B
No.
A
Well, very good.
D
And it's seasoned something wonderful.
B
Yes, I'm sure it's excellent. Well, I'll.
A
I'll wander out and see Mrs. Mummery now if you don't mind.
D
Oh, by all means, dear. And try to get up a good appetite for your dinner, won't you Mr. Mumro?
B
Yeah, I'll do my best. Thank you. Certainly.
D
Ethel.
B
Oh, Ethel.
D
Who's that?
B
It's I tiddlywinks. Hubert.
D
Oh, I wasn't expecting you so early.
A
Well, I quit before time.
B
I didn't startle you, did I, pet?
D
Yes, you did.
A
I'm sorry.
D
I. I thought something was wrong. I don't like to be startled.
A
Hello, Mummery. Well, hello, Welbeck.
B
I didn't see you.
A
How are you?
B
Oh, I'm all right, thanks. I'm afraid I found Ethel feeling rather badly. Yes, Sutton told me. Are you better now, dearest?
D
I'm feeling dreadfully upset and steady. I suppose I'll be all right by morning. Do sit down and have your tea, Cuper.
A
Well, thank you.
B
I need it. Biscuit at the Gordon Melt in your mouth. I devour the lot. If I didn't have to be getting home to dinner. Oh, you're leaving? I must.
A
Mother's waiting.
D
I'll have the gardener wrap her flowers. Give them.
A
Oh, no, don't bother.
D
No bother at all. Heaven knows he's paid enough for pottering about. Thomas. Thomas.
A
Come in, ma'.
B
Am.
D
Is the tea still warm, dear?
B
Just right, thanks.
A
You was calling me, Mrs. Mummery.
D
Oh, Thomas, will you please wrap these flowers for me and bring them into the house?
A
Right, old man.
D
I'll take Mr. Welbeck to. Oh, no, don't bother to get up, dear. Just tell Mr. Welbeck goodbye and finish your tea like a good boy.
B
Yes, indeed. Keep your seat. Well, you come and see us soon again, won't you, Welbeck? Love to, but I can't leave Mother alone very often. She's extremely nervous lately. Terribly so. Oh, that's too bad.
A
She's not really been herself since.
B
Since that Andrew's poisoning business started in the newspapers.
A
Alarmed her more than you believe.
B
Yes, well, it's rather unnerved everyone, if you ask me. I. I do hope they catch her soon. They may.
D
What do you mean?
A
There were a couple of blokes from.
B
Scotland Yard in the village this morning. Rumor is they've got a new line on Mrs. Andrews. It's time they had. Think of it. That fiend has been on the loose for. Well, let's see now.
A
Exactly 1, 2, 3, 4.
B
Yes, almost four weeks to the day.
D
I'd rather not think about it if no one minds.
A
You're quite right, my dear.
B
Let's not.
D
I have too many other things on my mind. Oh, by the way, Hubert, I forgot to tell you to bring some cash home from the city with you today.
A
I know you did diddly wings. But I remembered it all by myself.
D
Oh, a good Thing, too. The greengrocer had a rather glum look on his face this morning.
B
Well, we'll be able to stare him in the eye tomorrow.
D
And then there's Sutton's salary.
A
Well, I'm not sure I brought enough for that.
D
Oh, that's too bad. I do so want to be prompt with her.
B
Prompt?
D
Yes, dear. Sutton's been with us exactly one month tonight.
B
I must drop along now. See you soon again, Mummery. I. I say. Thanks for the tea.
D
Hubert. What's the matter? Mr. Welbeck said thanks for tea. Didn't you hear?
A
Oh.
B
Oh, yes.
A
Oh, I'm sorry.
D
You seem so far away, dear.
B
No, not at all. Not at all.
A
I was a bit tired, I suppose.
B
Let the old gent rest his weary bones.
D
He's worked much too hard lately. Come along, Mr. Welbeck. I'll do the honors for the family.
B
Coming.
A
Four weeks.
B
Exactly one month.
A
Oh, sir. The Mrs. Wanted some zinnias for the bouquet. And I just found a little patch in the back bed. I thought they.
B
Thomas. Thomas, do we have any old newspapers about?
A
Old newspapers? Why, yes, sir. There's a stack of them in the greenhouse. I was just going down to get some to wrap up this bouquet. What would you be needing them for, sir?
B
I want to look up some photographs, Thomas.
A
Photographs? Of who, sir?
B
Of Mrs. Andrews.
A
Here they be, sir. They go back about 20 days, these do. I always take them out of the kitchen when the cook is finished with them.
B
I see. Now, let's have them. Now then. June 15th.
A
June 5th.
B
Yes, that was just about the time.
A
Should be an article about Mrs. Carolyn Andrews.
B
And this one, of course, she'll have managed to change her appearance, but there should be a resemblance. Now, let's see.
A
Ought to be about on. Thomas. Yes, sir? Where did you say you got these papers? Out of the kitchen, sir.
D
Why?
A
What is it, Mr. Mummery?
B
Somebody's been through them with a scissors. Thomas. Every line about the Andrews case has been clipped out. Every line.
A
Mr. Mummery, sir.
B
Don't. Now look for yourself.
A
There, there, there, there. But I don't understand it, do you, sir? I'm afraid to try.
B
Thomas, are there any more papers about?
A
There's a few more under this shelf where I keep moderation. Look at that. Meddlers, that's what they are. Meddling with my things. Don't waste time with that now, Thomas. But look at it, sir. All spilled and wasted. It costs good money.
B
Well, all right.
A
We'll buy more of whatever it is. Only a bit. Bit left and it ain't so easy to get. I'll tell you, it's just about the best weed killer there is. Them weeds just fold up and die the minute it touches them. If somebody hadn't tampered with the stopper, there wouldn't have been a drop loss. Thomas. Yes, sir. Let me see that can. Yes, sir.
B
Arsenical weed killer. Contains arsenic. Deadly poison.
A
Stopper with Lucia stopped. Somebody had it out. I never leaves like nothing like that, Thomas. Yes, sir. Yes.
B
Oh, good Lord.
A
Mr. Mum. What is it? Sir, I. I don't think I should have had that tea, Thomas. I'll call the Mrs. No, no, no, no, no.
B
You mustn't allow her. Whatever you do, don't alarm her.
A
She's not to be excited.
B
But get to the phone and call Dr. Maby. I. I'm ill, Thomas.
A
Tell him I.
D
How is he, Dr. Mainsby? How is he?
B
Now, now then, Mrs. Mummery, he's not so bad as all that. He's really far better than he was last night. Decidedly. Yes, the patient is somewhat improved, aren't you, Mumray?
A
Well, I'm feeling quite all right, Ethel.
B
I shouldn't be surprised if I lived after all.
D
My poor darling, you gave me such.
B
A frightened little wonder. Symptoms were all alarming.
D
Whatever on earth could it have been? Dr. Mainsby? He was suffering so dreadfully last night. Of course, those powders you gave him quieted him a bit. But he did seem to be in such agony.
B
Well, I really can't say precisely what it was. I could pretend to know, but Frankly I don't. Mrs. Mummery, I haven't the proper equipment here for a real diagnosis. But I'd venture an old fashioned non scientific guess that it was a touch of common garden ptomaine.
A
Yes, yes, that's what it was, Ethel.
B
I'm sure of it. Tomorrow or next day when he's quite well. Mind you, I'd like to have you have him come down to the office in Berwich for a thorough examination.
D
Do you hear that, dear? You must make him promise to come, Doctor. He's so very careless about himself.
B
He'll come. This episode gave him a bit of a start, I think. Nothing like a touch of ptolemaine to make a man health conscious, eh, Monroe? You're right, Doctor. You'll see me very soon, I promise. Excellent. Excellent. And until then, you just continue the powders I gave you. One every hour. Yes, Doctor. And no solid foods. Have that cook of yours make you a nice strong broth of some kind, huh? Right. And above all, stay in bed for the next 24 hours.
D
I'll see to that, Dr. Lacey.
B
I'm depending on you, Mrs. Mummery. And now, if you will tell me where you put my hat, I'll get it for you. Oh, you needn't trouble. You just tell me.
D
Oh, no trouble at all. It's out on the standpoint.
B
So, Mummery, do try to take better care of yourself from now on, huh? No need to make Ethel a widow before her time. Well, I'll do my best not to.
Doctor.
A
Maisie.
B
What's that? Mummery, listen to me.
A
I haven't time to explain now.
B
What are you talking about?
A
Keep your voice down, man. I don't want to frighten Ethel, but.
B
There'S something very strange going on in this house. You are delirious.
A
I may need your help soon. I'll phone you sometime today.
B
As soon as I can do it without alarming Ethel.
A
Oh, she wouldn't be able to sleep.
B
For weeks if she had any inkling.
A
Of what's going on.
B
You aren't imagining things, are you? No, no.
A
Listen, Maisie, last night before I took sick, I found.
D
I beg pardon.
A
Well, well.
B
Sutton. Yes, Sutton, what is it?
D
Mrs. Mumro sent me to tell you that your chauffeur's brought the car around, sir.
B
Oh, yes, yes. Good. I'll be getting along now, I think.
D
Oh, sir, if I'm not being too inquisitive, sir, how is the patient this morning?
B
Why, he's much better, Sutton, but he had rather grim session of it just the same.
D
Oh, that's dreadful, ain't it, sir? We'll have to take better care of him, won't we, sir?
A
Much better care.
I'm tempering around my greenhouse. Will they now upsetting my things? Oh, will they now? Not much they won't. I'll put a lock on this door that I'll.
B
Thomas.
A
Thomas. Who's that? Why, Mr. Mamish, you ain't supposed to be up and about, are you? You're supposed to be in your bed, ain't you, sir? I want to get those papers we were looking at yesterday. Thomas, does the missus know you're walking around out here, sir? I'll be buying the Mrs. Thomas.
B
We'll keep this a secret from the Mrs. Thomas.
A
You'll get your death, Mr. Mummery. If I lie upstairs in bed all day, the whole Mummery family will get its death.
B
Now, where are those papers?
A
Well, they're just inside the door there where you left them. Sir, just inside the door. Now, let's see now, where was it? Right about this. No, it wasn't in. A little further. Now to your left. All right. There they are, sir.
B
Well, if they are, I've been struck blind. There's nothing here but the stone floor and a box of tulip bulbs.
A
You must be wrong, sir.
B
All right. Well, come and look and see here.
A
Yes, sir.
B
Well, they're gone.
A
What do you know? I'm not at all sure what I know, but I'm going to find out.
B
You come with me, Thomas.
A
You ought to be in your bed, sir. All right. I ought to be in my bed, sir.
B
Come along, will you?
A
Yes, sir.
B
Where is Sutton?
A
I don't know, sir. Oh, yes, on second thought, I do know. I saw her going down to the greengrocers to pay the bill. When she passed me, I heard her muttering something about not wanting anybody to come prying about her kitchen. The missus is particular.
B
Yeah. Doesn't want us in the kitchen, huh? No, I guess not.
A
Well, that's where we're going right now. I don't think she'd like it.
B
No, I'm sure she wouldn't, Thomas.
A
Come along in. All right, sir. If you say to, sir.
B
Now.
A
Now, let's see.
B
Where could they be?
A
You ain't expecting to find them papers in here, are you, sir? I was, Thomas.
B
Is it possible that I'm mistaken?
A
No, I'm not. Now, where could.
B
The stove.
A
That's where they'd be. That's just where the.
B
Just as I thought.
A
Have a look inside, Thomas.
B
There they are. Or what's left of them. Somebody kindled quite a little blaze with your old newspapers, wouldn't you say?
A
Do I say? You should have been a detective.
B
Yes, I always rather thought so myself. Well, the papers are done for.
A
By Jove, she's a clever one, all right.
B
Doesn't miss a trick. We're dealing with a very cautious, very thorough woman, Thomas. And I shouldn't be a bit surprised if. Well, are you listening to me, Thomas? What are you staring at?
A
Mr. Mamory? What's that on the windowsill?
B
On the wind.
A
The weed killer.
B
The arsenical weed killer.
A
It's found its way into the kitchen. The stopper's off again, ain't it, sir?
B
Right.
A
The stopper's off and it's nearly empty. Thomas, what's in that pot on the stove? I don't know, sir. Well, look and see. Yes, sir.
It's chicken broth, sir. Real strong chicken broth.
B
Good.
A
Here, here, here, now, Take this empty medicine bottle and get as much broth.
B
Into it as it'll hold.
A
What for, sir?
B
Just do it, Thomas, please.
A
Yes, sir.
B
That's fine.
A
Now then, get the car out of the garage. Where are we going, sir? We're going to Berridge. But Mr. Mummery, the doctor.
B
We're going to see the doctor, Thomas.
A
Before we're all beyond his help.
B
Sorry to kept you waiting so long, memory, but it's quite a lengthy.
A
I don't mind the waiting, Doctor.
B
It isn't that. But Ethel's there alone in the house with her. And I want to know. I can tell you now. You finished? I've analyzed every drop of the contents. Used Marsh's test for arsenic. I'm able to tell you a very definite answer, my boy. What is it, Maysby? Yes. You mean there is arsenic in that broth and something? I mean that broth is chock full of arsenic. Mrs. Andrews is taking no chances this time. There's enough poison there to kill your entire household.
A
Mr. Mamory.
D
Look.
A
You're eating 70, you are. It ain't safe at all. I've got to get home. I've got to get home. Lord knows what's happening there.
D
Oh, Mr. Mamory.
A
Shut up. Ethel is poisoned, dying, dead.
B
Ethyle is poisoned, dying, dead.
A
I patched the front right tie myself, sir. And it's fearful week it is.
B
Sutton.
A
Mrs. Andrews.
D
Sutton.
A
Mrs. Andrews.
D
Sutton. Mrs. Andrews. Sutton.
A
Mr. Andrews. Oh, thank the Lord.
D
There's the ass.
A
What's that car doing in front of it? What's it doing there? No, sir, it's happened already. The doctor's there. It's happened already.
B
The doctor's there.
A
It's happened already. Is the doctor's there.
D
Standing out under the ass, Mr. Mannery.
B
Oh.
D
Oh.
B
It's my fault. I did it. It's my fault. I left her here. I did it. I killed her.
D
Oh, Mr. Mamare, sir.
B
Oh.
A
Ethel.
B
Ethel. Ethel.
D
Ethel.
B
Where is she? Welbeck. What are you doing here? I'm Scotland Yard, Mumray. Easy now. Take it easy. Well, where is she? Tell me. I have a right to know. Who is he? Inspector. I'm Hubert Mummery. Where's my wife? Now try to be calm, Mumry, won't you? That's a good fellow. What do you mean?
A
Why are you sitting down here?
D
Is she.
B
Is she beyond help? I'm afraid she is, sir.
A
Oh, Lord.
B
Oh, can I see her? I'm afraid not, Mum. Only be painful. Oh, lord. But that Mrs. Andrews, though you've got her.
A
She didn't get away?
B
No, we've got Mrs. Andrews right enough. Oh, Ethel. You see, officer, we've only been married 10 weeks. 10 weeks yesterday I. Sutton. Sutton.
D
Yes, Mr. Mumley.
A
I'm very sorry about things. Sorry for you, sir.
B
Sorry for me? That's good. Well, it's too late now. Well, take her away. Take her away.
A
Oh, Mr. Mummery, I'm so sorry.
B
Take her away. You'd better go, Sutton. Go ahead. He's upset of course. Wants to be alone.
D
Oh.
B
You see, Mrs. Mummery and I were in desperate need of a cook. But it's just as I said to Brooks. One can't be too careful about taking a strange person into the house. Why, I didn't even suspect her until yesterday.
A
I had no idea there were go.
B
Are you letting her go? Well, you can't let her go.
A
That's Mrs. Andrews.
D
Don't. Oh, please.
A
This broth. It's chucked full of arsenic.
D
I didn't have no hand in that broth, sir. It was mine while I was at the Green Grove.
A
You can't let her go. Why did she.
D
And I didn't make your tea yesterday. Nor your breakfast yesterday morning. So help me, Mr. Mummer and sir, I didn't. I didn't. Hubert. Ethel.
A
Oh, Ethel, my darling.
B
I thought you were.
D
Oh.
B
Are you all right? Ethel, I. Ethel, dear, what is it?
D
I overheard what you said. You told Brooks about taking the strange person into your house. You were right, you know.
A
Hubert.
B
Well, I don't understand. Ready?
D
What?
B
Come along then.
A
Ethel.
B
Well, not Ethel really, sir. Catalan would be more like him.
D
Yes. And by the way, you're forgetting a rather important little formality, aren't you?
B
Oh, yes. Sorry, Mummery. Carolyn Andrews, I arrest you for murder in the name of the king.
And so closes Suspicion. Presented by Roma Wines and starring Charles Ruggles. Tonight's tale of suspense. In just a moment we will hear again from Mr. Ruggles. First, a message from the sponsor of suspense. Why is the making of good wine like a proverb? Because both are based on long experience. For you to enjoy the many different taste delighting Roma California wines. First, there had to be long years of painstaking cultivation of some of the world's finest vineyards. Plus, year upon year of development of the art and skill that go into the making of these fine Roma wines. Your first sip of any of the good tasting Roma wines will confirm the presence of these needed years of preparation. We'll tell you why Roma wines are America's largest selling wines. Your taste will thrill to the superb quality and the downright satisfaction when you try, say, the tangy, delicious Roma sherry or the rich, hearty Roma Burgundy or the sweeter, heavier Roma port. You'll be thrilled, too, when you learn such great enjoyment cost so little, mere pennies a glass. You'll want to add your voice to the international praise of Roma wines now rising in many lands. In these words, Roma wines are truly magnificent. Let me repeat the name. R O M a Roma wine made in California for enjoyment throughout the world. And now here is Charles Ruggles. Thank you. Thank you. Well, it was a great pleasure for me to appear on Suspense this evening. And I'll be listening next week, as I hope you will, when Fay Bainter and a distinguished Hollywood cast will be starred. And one more word. As the enemy's desperate resistance grows greater, make sure that our fighting men suffer no lack in their need for more of the weapons of war. Buy more war bonds. Suspense is produced and directed by William Speer. Don't forget. Then next Thursday, same time, Fay Bainter and other stars in suspense presented by Roma Wine made in California for enjoyment throughout the world. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Now the Roma Wine Company of Fresno, California, presents.
Suspense.
Tonight, Roma Wines bring you Miss Mildred Natwick and Mr. Don DeFore as stars of the Furnished Floor, a suspense play produced, edited and directed for Roma Wines by William Speer.
Suspense Radio's outstanding theater of thrills is presented for your enjoyment by Roma Wines. That's R O M a Roma Wines, those excellent California wines that can add so much pleasantness to the way you live, to your happiness in entertaining guests, to your enjoyment of everyday meals. Yes, right now a glassful would be very pleasant as Roma Wines bring you a remarkable tale of suspense. And with the Furnished Floor, a new study written for suspense by Lucille Fletcher, the author of Sorry, Wrong Number and other distinguished radio plays. And with the Performances of Don DeFore as Mr. Jennings and Mildred Natwick as Mrs. Hawkins, Roma Wines hope indeed to keep you in suspense.
D
Sit down. Rest yourself a minute, Ms. McIntyre, and take a cup of tea. I got some news for you. You'll never guess it in a hundred years. Do you remember that, Mr. Jennings? You know, my nice tenant that moved away last year? The tall, thin fella. The one with the pretty little wife, Mabel, who died so sudden last October? Oh, sure, you know him. Most devoted husband I ever seen. Always bringing her flowers and billing and cooing. He moved out upstairs about two weeks after she died. So heartbroken, he was sold every stick of Furniture. Got rid of the canary and the piano and just skidood. I expected any day to hear they'd fished him up out of the river. But no. This morning, while I'm cleaning down the stairs, who do you think should ring my bell?
B
Hello, Mrs. Hawkins. Remember me?
D
Why, it's Mr. Jennings.
My Mr. Jennings. You sure give me a turn. I never expected to see you around this neighborhood again.
B
Well, here I am. How's the upstairs floor?
D
Just as you left it, Mr. Jennings. I haven't rented it to a soul.
B
Well, I want to rent it again.
D
But you, Mr. Jennings.
B
That's right. I'm setting up housekeeping again.
D
Well, if that don't be getting married again, Mr. Jennings.
B
In a way. Let's run up and take a look, shall we?
D
Okay, if you say so.
Only won't it make you feel kind of blue to see the old place again?
B
Blue? Why should it?
D
Well, memories, you know.
B
That's just what I want to find. Memories. Everything just as it was. I hope you've left it just the same, Mrs. Hawkins. No painting or new wallpaper?
D
Not yet. Thought I'd fix it up to please the new tenant.
B
I'll leave it just as it was. Please? For me?
D
Well, here's the keys. Maybe you'd like to go in and look around by yourself.
B
No.
Do come in, Mrs. Hawkins. You were always so very kind. More a friend than a landlady. Oh, how beautiful it looks. Even bare. The sunshine always was so warm up here. And the trees. Well, I'd almost forgotten how close the trees were. And there's the marks our sofa made against the wall. And the square shapes of our pictures still on the wallpaper.
D
It could stand a good cleaning, of course.
B
Do you remember how Mabel used to sit here up an evening and sing? The upright was over there. And over at the Maxfield parish. And over near the bay window, above the ferns. The canary sat in his cage. And when she sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, he'd always sing with her.
D
Oh, come now, Mr. Jennings. You'll be getting yourself all fretted up.
B
Oh, no, no, I. I assure you, Mrs. Hawkins. It's very important. You see, I'm gonna have it again just as it was.
D
Is that so?
B
I've made a list, but in a year, so many details escape one. Like those ferns, for instance. Wha. I'd almost forgotten how she loved ferns. Oh, yes. And there was something over in that corner. What was it?
A
A rocker.
B
Her mother's old rocker. It used to squeak over a loose board whenever anybody sat in It.
D
You mean you're gonna try and find all them things again, Mr. Jennings?
B
Yes.
D
But you sold all them to junk dealers. You gave them away. But you scattered them every which way.
A
When you broke up your home.
B
I've already been looking. I've collected a lot of things. It isn't so hard. You see, our furniture wasn't very precious to anyone but us.
D
Well, of course you know what you're doing, Mr. Jennings. It's none of my business, I suppose.
B
Will two months rent be enough in advance, Mrs. Hawkins? I won't be moving in for another couple of weeks, but from time to time I'd like to have things delivered.
D
Two months will be just dandy. I'll make you a spirit special. Bargain price too, seeing you don't want no redecorating. You're sure your lady friend won't want none either, Mr. Jennings?
B
I hardly think so.
D
Well, I hope you'll both be very happy here. It's nice to have you back in the neighborhood.
B
It's good to be home.
D
Now, Mrs. McIntyre, what would you have done in my place? I admit it giving me a funny feeling. You know, you would think a man had more respect for the dead and her dead only less than a year than to bring a new wife plumb back to the same floor and the same furniture. And I say, what kind of a woman is she too, to stand for that kind of nonsense? But of course it ain't really none of my business. Besides, two months rent. Two months rent?
Well, Mr. Jennings, what are you doing here this time of night?
B
I'm moving in.
D
Moving in?
B
I intended coming much earlier, but I had so many last minute things to do, like picking up Dicky and.
D
Oh, now don't tell me that's your old canary, Mr. Jennings.
B
Yes, it's little Dicky. I found him in a pet shop on third Avenue in his old cage. He looks pretty chipper, doesn't he?
D
Well, aren't you the one. I'd have thought he'd have died of lonesomeness ages ago.
B
Did all my furniture and things get here, Mrs. Hawkins?
D
Just about. They've been delivering off and on for the last week. You sure got everything back, Mr. Jennings?
B
Well, pretty nearly everything. A couple of rugs are missing and our old kitchen table and, oh, I got the piano. I bought the old upright back from the Sunday school. Boy, I've been more than lucky. Ms. Hawkins, you won't mind, will you, if I start moving some of it into place tonight? I'll be very quiet tonight.
D
Well, it's pretty near midnight, Mr. Jennings.
B
Yes, I know, but I'd have to work all day tomorrow and the next day. You see, there's so little time.
D
Oh, you're expecting her soon?
B
Very soon.
D
Oh, well, if you don't get it done in time, I'll be glad to give you and her a hand when she gets here.
B
Oh, no, no. It's got to be already before she comes. Otherwise she won't come.
D
You don't say, Mr. Jennings.
B
So if you don't mind, it'll only be for a few nights and I won't move any of the heavy pieces after midnight. If you only knew what this means to me, Mrs. Hawkins. How I've waited for months.
D
Is that so, Mr. Jennings? Well, I'm sure glad you found somebody to make a home for you again. And I hope she's the right girl for you and is going to make you happy.
B
Oh, she will all right.
D
Of course, there are some people I know say a man ought to wait a couple of years, but. Well, I was only saying yesterday. Certain men are natural born husbands and home bodies. They need a home and a woman to look after them.
B
Yeah. Yes, that's. That's true. Well, good night, Mrs. Hawkins. I'll try not to disturb you.
D
Good night, Mr. James.
Come in, Mrs. McIntyre. No, it's a. Okay. He's at the office. He'll never know we come up. Yeah. Take a look around. Ain't it something? Everything fixed up, down to the last knife and fork, just exactly as she had it. Don't it give you the creeps? Yep, that's the same canary singing in his cage just like it used to. And look, Mrs. McIntyre, come here in the bedroom. He's even got her clothes hung up in the closet. Now, I'm asking you, Mrs. McIntyre, what do you think the second Mrs. Jennings is going to say to that?
Mr. Jennings?
B
Hello, Mrs. Hawkins.
D
Well, I've been beside myself with worry, Mr. Jennings. Where you been all this time, if I may ask?
B
Right here.
D
Right here.
B
Didn't you hear us come in? I've been to work all day, of course, but last night, a little after one, perhaps you were sleeping.
D
Us? You mean you and.
B
Well, yes, she's come.
D
You mean she's been upstairs all day?
B
Certainly.
D
I haven't heard a sound.
B
Probably she's sleeping. She was very tired. The trip was more exhausting than I dreamed.
D
Well, you might have stopped by and told me on your way to work this morning, Mr. Jennings. Of course it's none of my business, but I could have at least introduced myself to my own tenant and maybe even helped her out.
B
Oh, it's all right. She doesn't want to see anybody just yet.
D
Oh, no. Well, of course I wouldn't intrude on your privacy for anything, Mr. Jennings. Although I'm sure when first Mrs. Jennings was alive, we were all friends here.
B
No, no, it isn't that. It's only that in these first few days, everything is so new and strange. She's not quite herself.
D
Okay, Mr. Jennings, you know best. But if you should want me, you just call down the dumb waiter and I'll be right up.
B
Thanks, Mrs. Hawkins. Thank you. But on no account are we to be disturbed. On no account.
For suspense, Roma Wines are bringing us stars Mildred Natwick and Don DeFore in the furnished Floor by Lucille Fletcher. Roma Wines presentation tonight in radio's outstanding theater of thrills. Suspense.
Between the acts of suspense. This is Truman Bradley for Roma Wines. Happier days are here again. People are entertaining more and more inviting friends over, often enjoying friendly visits in simple, sensible ways. One such way is to serve Roma California Sherry. In the words of famed hostess Elsa Maxwell, I serve my guests Roma Sherry. There is nothing so friendly, so heartwarming, as delicious, glorious, golden amber Roma Sherry, rich in nutty, mellow taste, goodness served cool. When I invite friends in, I always serve Roma Sherry as first call for dinner. And Ms. Maxwell might have added, Roma Sherry is most enjoyable later in the evening, too. In fact, anytime. Roma Sherry, like all the famous Roma wines, reflects the heritage of carefully selected grapes, freshly gathered at flavorfulness from California's choicest vineyards, quickly but gently pressed. Then by a process as slow as time, brought to liquid perfection by Roma's ancient winemaking skill and bottled at Roma's famed wineries. Enjoy Roma Wines regularly. They are always unvaryingly good. Remember, because of uniformly fine quality at reasonable cost. More Americans enjoy Roma than any other wine. R O M A Roma Wines and now, Roma Wines bring back to our Hollywood sound stage Don Dufour and Mildred Natwick in the Furnished Floor, a play well calculated to keep you in suspense.
D
Now, don't get me wrong, Mrs. McIntyre. The last thing in the world I am is a busybody. But, well, you know, I don't go out much on account of my heart. And our two floors are kind of close. Downstairs in my dining room, you can hear most everything that goes on upstairs. Now, wouldn't you have thought there'd have been something last night? Some talking or footsteps or dishes rattling? Well, I'm telling you, I sat there till midnight, and there Wasn't a thing, nothing at all, except along, along about half past 12, I hear the dumb waiter come rumbling down the shaft. Well, I just stole a peek. And there, going by with his claws sticking up in the air, was that little yellow canary dead.
B
Good morning, Mrs. Hawkins.
D
Good morning. And how's Mrs. Jennings today?
B
Wonderful.
D
Feeling a bit better now?
B
Oh, yes. Of course, she's still very weak, but every day, I'm sure, will make her stronger. I have high hopes for her recovery.
D
You had a doctor in to see her yet? Dr. Rubenstein? My doctor is very good.
B
No, I'm afraid a doctor wouldn't help her.
No.
No.
D
Mrs. Jennings.
Mrs. Jennings. It's Mrs. Hawkins, the lady downstairs.
I heard you were sick, and so I got a little bit of lunch for you, Mrs. Jennings. It's just a little bowl of homemade chicken broth, but it's nice and rich.
You sleeping, Mrs. Jennings? Okay, then. I'll just slip in quietly with my own keys, if you don't mind, and leave it right beside your bed. Oh, that's funny. Oh, he must have bought a new kind of lock. It didn't say anything to me. Mrs. Jennings.
A
Mrs. Jennings.
D
Mr. Jennings.
B
Oh, good evening, Mrs. Hawkins.
D
You got a minute, Mr. Jennings? I'd like to speak to you, if you don't mind.
B
Well, Mrs. Jennings is waiting for me upstairs.
D
It's about Mrs. Jennings. She's still poorly, you say?
B
Well, she is confined a good deal to her bet.
D
Well, why don't you get someone in to look after her? I know A good woman, Mrs. McIntyre, goes out nursing by the day.
B
No. Oh, no.
D
Well, I don't like it, Mr. Jennings, locking her up like that every morning so not a soul can get in. Suppose something happened?
B
What could happen?
D
What could happen? Anything could happen.
B
A fire that doesn't worry me.
D
Or she could get worse and maybe even die.
B
Oh, no.
D
Everybody's got to go sometime, Mr. Jennings. I wouldn't take no chances.
B
Yes, I know, but not her.
D
Not her? Whatever do you mean, Mr. Jennings?
B
Because she's immune.
D
Immune Against. She ain't got no contagious disease up there, has she?
B
No, no, it's nothing like that. Oh, Mrs. Hawkins, please, please don't worry or be uneasy. It's worked out so beautifully. It's nothing that can do you any harm. And we're so happy, so wonderfully happy.
D
Oh, Mr. Jennings. I'll be up in about one hour with the plumber.
B
The plumber?
D
I'm sorry to disturb you at suppertime, but there's something gone wrong with the Pipes. And we think it's upstairs in your floor.
B
You can't come in. Mrs. Jennings will be sleeping.
D
Plumber says it's the only time he can come. Unless he comes tomorrow afternoon while you're at the office. You want to leave me your key, Mr. Jennings?
B
No, no, I can't.
D
Well, he'll have to get in there sooner or later. Mr. Jennings. The water downstairs all black and discolored.
B
It's out of the question tonight. I'll discuss it with you in the morning.
D
Okay, Mr. Jenn.
Well now, Mrs. McIntyre, how would you feel your own house going to rack and ruin? You can't even do nothing about it. I ask you, what kind of a thing's he got up there that nobody can see? I tell you, just sitting here in this silent house night after night gives me the creeps. And with my heart what tis. Well. Well, anyway, his two months rent's up tomorrow and I got my mind made up. I got my mind made up.
B
Oh, good evening, Mrs. Hawkins. Why, I didn't know you for a minute, standing there in the dark.
D
Well, I didn't want to miss you this time, Mr. Jennings. No, I got your money this morning for next month stuck under the door.
B
Oh, yes, yes, I. I had to leave early. I hope it was all right.
D
No, it wasn't all right. I'm sorry, but the floor's been rented, Mr. Jennings. Rented to a young serviceman and his wife from the fort. They took it sight unseen this morning.
B
Oh, but you can't.
D
They're living in a crowded room on 81st Street. It's very crowded. I told him. I figured you could probably get most of your stuff out in a week.
B
A week?
I never told you I was going, Mrs. Hawkins.
D
I'm sorry. Sorry, Mr. Jennings.
B
If it's a matter of a little more rent, I'll be glad to pay and sign a lease. Any kind of a lease you want.
D
It's not a matter of rent or a lease, Mr. Jennings. It's just I want my four back, that's all. But Mrs. Hawkins, I like neighborly people upstairs. Mr. Jennings, I'm home a lot. I like people I can trust. I don't want no mysteries in my house. New locks on the door so no one can get in and sneakins in and out at night.
B
Mrs. Hawkins, I swear you. It's all right, perfectly all right.
D
All this business about Mrs. Jennings. Never a face at the window, never a footstep on the floor or a dish rag hung out on the line.
B
Mrs. Jennings is ill. She's not like other people. I tell you, I won't go. You've got to let me stay.
D
Here's your rent back. Mr. Jennings.
B
I haven't any place to go. This is my home. It's all I have. I stake dead of everything on being here. Everything.
D
There are other floors vacant in this neighborhood.
B
No, no, it's got to be this one, this particular floor.
Mrs. Hawkins, if I could buy the house. The whole house?
D
Buy the house?
B
Yes, yes, if it's for sale. Perhaps you've never thought of selling it, but I'd give you a good price. I'd scrape the money together somehow.
D
This house ain't for sale. It happens to be my home, too, Mr. Jennings.
B
Oh, I know, I know. But you're all alone now. That, Mr. Hawkins.
I mean, it's a heavy responsibility. A big house and all those stairs to keep clean and the repairs and all. Oh, Mrs. Hawkins, if you don't reconsider, I'd do anything.
D
No, it's too much for me. I don't understand it. Why can't she see me and talk to me? Why can't she invite me in for a cup of tea and explain?
B
Because she. She can't.
D
What's the matter with her that she can't? Is she so ugly or so beautiful or so crazy? Who. Who is she, anyway?
B
I can't tell you.
D
Okay, Mr. Jennings. Then that's.
B
Misses Hawkins.
Misses Hawkins?
D
Yes.
I'm here, Mr. Jennings. At the Dumb Waiter.
B
Mrs. Hawkins?
D
Yes, Mr. Jennings. What is it?
B
I'm sending you down the key on the dumb waiter. She wants you to come up.
D
She.
B
Mrs. Jennings.
Okay, got it?
D
Yes.
She wants me to come up now, Mr. Jennings.
B
That's right.
D
Well, it's kind of late. If she ain't so.
B
Well, that's all right. She's feeling much better tonight. She wants to talk to you about the floor before it's too late.
D
Okay. I'll be right up.
Okay. Mr. Jennings. I. I'm here.
B
Come in. You have the key?
D
Okay.
Well, where's your lights, Mr. Jennings? I can't see a thing.
B
I'll light a candle in a moment. Mrs. Jennings prefers the dark. But you know this floor so well, Mrs. Hawkins. Come in.
D
Well, where are you, Mr. Jennings?
B
Right in here in the parlor, sitting on the sofa.
That's just the wind. There's always a little draft blowing in here. But won't you sit down, Mrs. Hawkins?
D
No, thanks. I'm only going to stay a minute. Just long enough to meet Mrs. Jennings.
B
Oh, but you've Already met her.
D
Already met her.
B
Don't you remember five years ago, a rather chilly day. The rain was falling. She rang the bell to ask about the upstairs floor, and you invited her in for a cup of tea.
D
I'm afraid you're mistaken. That was the first Mrs. Jennings.
B
That's what I mean.
D
Oh. Oh, no, Mr. Jennings.
B
Now do you understand, Mrs. Hawkins? Now do you know why we couldn't ever go away?
D
We. But there couldn't. Well, first Mrs. Jennings, it's.
B
I know. You saw her coffin in this very room, didn't you, Mrs. Hawkins? You saw them take her away. I think you even followed out to that cold, dark cemetery. But she couldn't stay away. She pleaded with me in my dreams to bring her back, and I brought her back.
D
Oh, no, Mr. Jennings, don't say such things.
B
If everything were the same as in the past, she said, we could have the past if I furnished our old floor. We're the same things. She'd live here, too.
D
Excuse me, Mr. Dennings. I'm afraid I got.
B
No, no, no. Don't go yet. There's nothing frightening about it. Would you be afraid to look at a forsythia bush that had been asleep all winter? Or a tulip? Or a tree?
D
I. I ain't afraid, Mr. Denny's. I only listen.
B
What? You don't hear it? In the bedroom? The rocking?
No, Mabel.
Mabel.
D
No, don't. Don't call her. I hear it, Mr. Dennings.
B
Oh, but she wants to meet you. She's always loved you so much.
D
I really, I'd just as soon. Some other time, Mr. Jennings.
The door's locked.
B
It snaps shut behind you. Really, Mrs. Hawkins, don't go. She'll be in in a moment.
A
There, There.
B
She's coming down the hall.
D
Now, let me out of this, do you hear? Let me out. My heart won't stand. Oh.
B
Oh, Here she is.
There standing in the doorway. Smuth.
Oh, my darling. My darling.
A
I don't see nobody.
B
Mrs. Hawkins, she's going to sing for you.
D
Sing for me?
B
This is the first night she's been able to. You remember the old song she used to sing of an evening? Swing Low, sweet.
D
I. I don't want to hear it.
B
Oh, please. Please, Mrs. Hawkins. She's very timid. You'll frighten her.
D
The dead can't come back. They'd never want to live on this earth again.
B
Go on. Mabel, dearest, don't mind. You're looking very beautiful tonight, my darling. I like that dress. Do you remember when we bought it on our first wedding.
D
Why don't they all come back then? Why couldn't my poor old John.
B
Sit down, dearest. There.
Now it seems like old times again. The flower in your hair. The canary singing in his cage.
D
No, it can't. I.
Told you. My heart. Oh, get a doctor.
B
Quick. Your voice. Your voice was always like a bird's to me. I'll never forget the first time I ever heard it. On an evening in spring at the Calvary Baptist Church. Doctor. Play, dearest. Play.
Go on, dearest. It's all right. Sing.
Swing low.
Sweet chariot.
Coming for to carry me home.
Swing long O sweet chariot.
Common for to carry me.
Roma Wines have brought you Mildred Natwick and Don DeFore as stars of the furnished floor tonight, study in suspense.
This is Truman Bradley for Roma Wines, the sponsor of suspense. And here's a hint on how to make better cocktails. Make them with zestful, full flavored Roma vermouth. The vermouth of almost 100 rare herbs. Made and bottled in the heart of California's famous vineyards. Yet surprisingly low priced. Try Roma Vermouth soon, won't you? Mildred Natwick will soon be seen in the Metro Goldwyn Mayer production, Yolanda and the Thief. Don De Fore is currently being seen in the Hal Wallace production. You Came Along a Paramount picture. Next Thursday you will hear Ms. Myrna Loy, a star of Suspense Radio's outstanding film theater of thrills. Presented by Roma Wines. R O M A made in California for enjoyment throughout the world. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
A
We proudly present Hollywood.
The Radio Theater. Starring Victor Moore, Don. Before Charlie Ruggles and Gail Storm in it happened on Fifth Avenue. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Keeley.
Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. When I was a struggling young actor in New York, there was no greater thrill to me than a ride on the top of an open Fifth Avenue bus. So I was saddened to hear that they'd been recently replaced. Imagine my joyful surprise the other day to see some of those old friends rumbling down, of all places, Hollywood Boulevard. Signaling the release of Roy Del Rue. Romantic and delightful comedy. It Happened on Fifth Avenue. From the studios of Allied Artists, we're fortunate in having with us the original All Star cast. Victor Moore, Don DeFore, Charlie Ruggles and Gail Storm. Here's Act 1 of It Happens on 5th Avenue. Starting Victor Moore as Aloysius T. McKever. Don DeFore as Jim Bullock. Charlie Ruggles as Michael O' Connor and Gail Storm as Trudy.
The Michael Gale o' Connor mansion on upper Fifth Avenue. Is one of the show places of New York City. But on this blustery November afternoon, it stands empty, Its windows tightly boarded up for the winter. Michael o' Connor is at his plantation in Virginia. His divorce was wife is in Florida. And Trudy, their daughter, is at finishing school. Well, let's say that up to two hours ago, Trudy was at finishing school. It's true, Mr. O'. Connor. She's run away. Your daughter's run away from school. Well, I won't stand for it, you hear? I want the best detective agency in New York. Tell them to keep in concentration. Yes, sir. The board of directors are waiting, Mr. O'. Connor. The building projects. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, let's get it over with. No, wait a minute, wait a minute. Look at this newspaper. Yes, I've already seen it. Look at this photograph. Evicted veteran calls Oconnor Octopus. Yes. To build our office building, we have to tear down that apartment. Before we can tear down that apartment, the tenants have to be evicted. Isn't that simple enough? Yes, sir. Well, next time no pictures in the paper, you understand? No pictures.
Well, while this is going on, while Trudy is running away and building projects are being projected, a rather dumpy, shabbily dressed gentleman furtively slip through the high board fence in back of the o' Connor Fifth Avenue mansion. He lifts up the iron cover of the coal chute and disappears into the O'Connor cellar. One hour later, resplendent in high silk hat, striped trousers and walking sticks, he's strolling leisurely in an adjacent park. Oh, what a wonderful feeling. I've never felt. Oh, good afternoon.
You mind if I share the bench with you? No, but I resent your calling this bench a bench. This happens to be my new home. Your home? Yes. And Michael J. O' Connor is an octopus. A human octopus. Slowly strangling civilization in his tentacles. He is? Yes. I've been evicted. Michael J. O' Connor has just thrown me out of my apartment. Oh, it's a terrible thing, isn't it, this housing problem? Well, I'd settle for an upholstered state. I solved my residential problem years ago. Judging from your clothes, you could afford to. Well, I wouldn't say that. But if you're in trouble and have no place to go, you can be my guest for the night. Oh, no, thanks a lot, but I'll. I'll manage some. It's getting dark. I'll be happy to have you. Well, you know something, Pop? I think maybe I'll take you up a bit. Oh, you will? Fine, fine. It's that lovely house just over there. That. That's your house? Well, let's just say that I live there. Well, here. Try one of these cigars. Nothing like a good cigar, is it?
Oh. Here you are, my boy. Well, how do you like your room? Given me a place to sleep, huh? Passing out cigars, huh? Why, you snake in the grass. I could break your. I was afraid you. Look, when you brought me through that fence, I didn't say anything, did I? I figured you were eccentric. Okay. When we came through the servants entrance. Well, I explained the houses boarded up. We had. Shut up. You just tell me what it says here on the silver loving cup. Go on. Read it. It says, Winner, Newport Yacht Races. Michael J. O'. Connor. The great Michael J. O' Connor in person. Well, listen, moneybags. Are you so wrapped up in yacht races you've forgotten as a human race? My boy. Much to my regret. You forced me to divulge a secret. I am not Mr. O'. Connor. My name is McKeever. Aloysius T. McKeever McKe. Well then, where's O'? Connor? In Virginia. A place called Bubbling Springs. Now it's quite beautiful there. Oh, yeah. But you're a friend of O'.
B
Connor's.
A
Well, let us say Mr. O' Connor is a friend of mine. You see. Jim. Jim Bullock? Yeah. Well, you see, Jim. Every fall Mr. O' Connor goes to Virginia. As soon as he leaves here, I move in. It's been a very satisfactory arrangement. Hey. The lights. The lights just went out. Oh. Well, it can't be them. It's too early. It can't be who?
B
And who?
A
Never mind. Say, did you say you live here alone? Yes. Well, you've got company. Somebody's coming up the stairs. It's a girl. Oh, I don't understand this at all. I suggest we hide in here. Hide? Yes. Hey, look, I don't get this. I'll explain. But later. Later.
E
You've got to hurry, cootie. Just grab your things and get out of the house.
D
Oh, my.
A
New color. They've got pretty good taste. Come on, sister. Shed that mink. Who.
E
Who are you?
A
Me? I'm a fur trapper. Come on. Give.
E
Get your hands off me.
A
I. I'd surrender the coat if I were you, young woman.
E
And just what are you two? You get out of here before I call the police.
A
Police? Well, go ahead. There's a phone. Call the police.
E
You bet I will.
A
Just a moment, please. I. I better take that telephone. Hey. Where you going with it? Just out in the Hall. Jim, I. I think you'd better come with me. Your excuses, miss.
Well.
What'D you grab that phone for, Jim? I'm afraid we're in no position to let her call the police.
B
Why not?
A
Because the young lady, no matter who she is, has as much right here as we have. Oh, now look, I don't get this. You're a guest of O', Connors, aren't you? Well, yes, except Mr. O' Connor doesn't know about him.
You see, I've never even laid eyes on him. You mean you live here without permission? Uh huh. But how do you get away with it? Oh, it's not difficult. He never comes back until March 15. I leave on March 13. It works out very well that way. Why, you old. Possibly. Oh, I never do any harm. As a matter of fact, I do a lot of good. I dust off the furniture and wind up the clocks. Then you take these clothes I'm wearing. If it weren't for me, they'd be in the closet gathering moths. I take a different suit every day for a nice airing. But that girl in there, what are we gonna do about her? Well, you just leave it to me, Jim. Come on.
Young woman. We've decided.
E
Please, you won't call the police? Oh, I. I know I shouldn't have broken in here, but I'm applying for a job tomorrow.
A
Oh, sure, sure, it's true.
E
Here, look. Here's the ad girl.
A
Wanted to sell sheet music. Apply Times Square Melody Shop. Oh, sure. You got to wear a mink coat to work in a music shop. Young lady, don't you know there's a law against breaking into people's houses?
E
Yes, yes, I do.
A
What's your name?
E
Smith. Trudy Smith.
A
Where do you live, Ms. Beth?
E
In. In Dubuque with my 13 brothers and sisters.
A
14 children. My. My neighbors must call your house a star club. Are you sure you. Hey, hey, the lights again. Oh dear. Well, that's the gates patrol. They watch the house. Out of sight. Now, quick. Here we go again.
E
What's going on here?
A
I can't explain now, Ms. Smith. We'll hide in the icebox. Now you just follow me.
E
Cold in here. I'm freezing.
A
It takes him about 10 minutes for to look around. Yeah. Here, put on my jacket.
E
Oh, but I.
A
Come on, put it on.
E
Thank you.
A
Now get as close to me as you can. There. How's that?
E
That's much better. Thank you.
A
Hey, we should do this more often. Oh, we will, we will.
You really should see this icebox with the lights on. It's as big as a barn and just loaded down with wonderful things to eat. Now look, Papa. Exactly what goes on here? The gates patrol. They just stopped to see if everything's all right. They were a little early tonight, but. But the blackout. Oh, I'm really quite proud of that. I've arranged a gadget that connects the front door with the main electricity switch. Whenever the front door opens, all the lights go out.
E
But why do we have to hide in the ice box?
A
Well, you may as well know, Trudy. I'm an interloper here the same as you are.
E
You mean you go through this every night?
A
Oh, you get used to it. In fact, it's kind of fun after a while. Well, we can go out now. They're gone. Now. If you'll wait here a second, I'll throw the switch back on. Ah. There we are. Oh, don't worry. They can't see the lights from the street. All the windows are boarded up. Well, let's defraud.
Now about you, Trudy. I guess we won't call the police after all.
E
Oh, how can I thank you, Mr. McKeever.
A
Aloysis T. McKeever. And this is Jim Bullock. Let me give you a tip, Ms. Smith. New York is no place for a kid without friends. Yes. You better go straight back home.
E
Oh, please. I just can't go back. My father's a terrible drunkard. He's lazy and he beats us all. 14 of you every night.
A
Your old man's not lazy.
Well, I wouldn't want any girl to go home to a brute like that. I suppose you can stay here.
E
Oh, thank you.
A
Just for the night, mind you. Oh, you can sleep in the room where we found you. Be sure to make your bed in the morning. And don't touch anything.
E
I won't.
A
Good night, Trudy.
E
Good night. Good night, Jim.
A
Huh? Oh. Good night.
So you got the job, Trudy. Well, that's just fine.
E
$30 a week. Mr. McKeever and I start tomorrow. And is that Jim in there? Mr. McKeever?
A
Yes. And some friends of his. Oh. I'm being placed in a very awkward position, Trudy.
D
Why?
E
What's the matter?
A
Well, come in. Maybe you can settle this. Well, I'm sure glad you got the job, Trudy. Oh, I'd like to meet. Have you meet my friends here. Trudy Smith. Whitey Johnson and Hank Anderson. Whitey and Hank were my buddies in the war. Or. It's Mrs. Anderson and Mrs. Johnson.
D
Hello.
A
And don't forget the baby.
Don't cry, darling.
E
It's all right.
A
All right? Well, it's criminal. It's. It's inhuman.
E
What's inhuman?
A
They've been evicted just like I was. You know where they're living? In a trailer in Flatbush. Oh, now, take it easy, Jim. You can't blame Mr. McKeever. Mac.
D
Look.
A
You simply can't turn the people out into the street. Oh, this is really very embarrassing. Well, look. You're o' Connor's guest here. I'm Okana's guest here. Okay. We'll all be Okana's guests here.
E
Me too.
A
Why not? Trudy? There are 43 rooms. Not in my 20 years of living as a guest in other people's homes have I ever been faced with a situation like this.
Still, we can't very well turn children away. Look at him.
E
Hello there.
A
Well, I guess we'll be able to manage somehow.
Look. The baby's smiling at me.
Oh. Come in, Max. Sit down and join us. Ah, trucking business, boys? Sort of. Mr. McKeever. Where are the girls? They're doing the dinner dishes. Sort of nice having them around, isn't it? It's rather nice to have a place to be around in. Look, it's like I was saying, Jim. While we were in the army. We heard all about those hundred and fifty dollar a week jobs. What happened to them? Some guys seemed to get by without anything. Without experience, even without money. How do you do it, Mr. McKeever? Well, I believe that people who require money should work for it. As for myself, I gave up working years ago. I never could make enough to satisfy my lavish taste. So I let other people work for it. And I enjoy it. How's a few of Mr. Okana's cigars?
B
Thanks.
A
But suppose you had a wife and a kid. Suppose you had to make dough. My boy, making money is simply a matter of analysis. Analyze what people want most and give it to them. What do you want most? A better job and a place to live. Exactly. You'll find plenty of vacancies if you boys will just use your heads.
That came out a little different from the way I meant it. Excuse me. Well, where are all those vacancies? Army barracks. Vacants. Army barracks? Army barracks? Why, sure, sure. It's made to order. I can redesign them. A few plumbing changes. A closet space, landscape. Hey, wait a minute. Where do we get the doe.
B
The dough?
A
Why? Well, we get the dough from the same place we get the labor. 2 or 300 xgis just like us, all chipping in and we'd all be Partners. Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Your problem of capital is secondary. The first thing to consider is which camp do we convert. Now, do any of you know Camp Kilson? Whitey and I were inducted there. Well, Kelson would be great. But how do we find out if it's up for sale? Well, it's for sale, all right. I read it in the newspaper. But you'll have to go down to Washington to get all the details. My wife knows all the ropes down there. She and I could go. What about your baby? Ah. Oh, yeah, that's right. What are you worried about? Trudy and Marge can take care of the baby. Yeah, and I personally will mix its drinks.
I mean, supervise its formula.
B
Well, come on.
A
Let's sell the girl.
Hello.
E
I have Bubbling springs for you, Mr. Farrell.
B
Go ahead.
A
Hello, Mr. O'.
B
Connor.
A
Well, well. Speak up, Barrel. What is it? What is it? They have found her, Mr. O'. Connor. Your daughter. She's using the name of Prudy Smith, sir. And she's got a job here in New York. A job? Great Scott. Where? The Times Square Melody Shop. I'll have our lawyers go there at once and pick her up. No, no. Those fat heads. No, no. They've got. They can do to handling that Camp Kilson deal. Yes, sir. I certainly hope we'll be able to buy Camp Kilson from the government, sir. Well, of course we'll buy it. We'll just outbid all competitors. I'll go and get my daughter myself. I'll charter a plane and I'll.
E
Well, good night, Mr. Slippman. I'll see you Monday.
A
I wouldn't be so sure of that.
B
Trudy.
D
Father.
A
Trudy. Why did you do it here? Why did you run away?
E
If you don't know, dad, I'm sure I'll never be able to explain.
A
Well, get in the car.
E
Yes, Father.
A
Driver, to my offices, Henry. Yes, sir.
E
Dad, I am not going back to finishing school.
A
And why not?
E
Because I'm finished. Besides, I've met someone. Dad. I'm in love, I think.
A
Oh, that's ridiculous. Never mind the office, Henry. Drive straight to the house.
E
Oh, no, no. Not the house.
A
Are you out of your head? Why can't I drive to my own house?
E
Because I'm staying there. Only they don't know that I'm me, Mr. McIver and Jim.
A
Who in places are they?
E
Mr. McKeever is the man who moves in when you move out. And Jim. Oh, he's wonderful, Father. He thinks I'm a thief and you're a drunkard and you beat me.
A
He Thinks I. Oh, this is fantastic. My goodness. I'll have the police up there in about five.
E
All right, dad. Call the police. Have it your way. You always do.
A
Oh, Trudy, please. Now what is it, honey? Can't we talk this over like two sensible people? Why don't you tell me what's troubling you?
E
Dad, I've been terribly unhappy ever since you and Mother. Dad, I've been so lonely. That's why I ran away.
A
Ah, I see. Well, what do you want me to do?
E
I want you to meet Jim.
A
All right. I'll meet him.
E
You will?
A
Yes.
E
Oh, darling, thank you. Oh, but not as Michael o'. Connor.
A
Well, what's wrong with Michael O. Connor?
E
Nothing. But if Jim knew who you really were. Well, I'd always be wondering.
A
Wondering about what?
E
If he were really thinking of me or your bank account.
A
Oh, Trudy, this is.
E
Dad, please let me have my way just this once.
A
All right. All right. Now what?
E
Henry.
A
Yes, miss?
E
Drive to the east side, Henry. To one of those secondhand clothing stores.
A
What in the world for?
E
Well, if you're going to be a bum, you'll have to look like one.
A
If I should bow off, I haven't. Fate.
In a moment we'll bring you the second act of It Happened on Fifth Avenue starring Victor Moore. Done before Charlie Ruggles and Gail Storm. They say that opportunity knocks but once. Perhaps under certain circumstances. But not where your education.
For you men and women on active duty with the United States Armed Forces have the opportunity to continue your education while serving your country. The United States Armed Forces Institute has been knocking on the door of servicemen for over 20 years. In that time, you safely has proved conclusively that service personnel who use their off duty time constructively are more proficient in their military jobs. Ask your education officer about a USAFI course. Here's William Keeley at the microphone. Act two of It Happened on Fifth Avenue. Starting Victor Moore as McKeever, Don DeForest. Jim. Charlie Ruggles as O' Connor and Gail Storm as Trudy.
Well, it's an hour later and in Sink of Harp second hand clothing star Mr. Michael J. O'. Connor, second richest man in the world. Stands aghast in front of a dilapidated mirror while Mr. Finkelhoff proudly surveys his handiwork. Well, there you are, mister. $12 for everything. And already you look good. Look at me. Truly look at me. Just look at me. I look like a tramp.
E
Darling. That was the idea.
A
And here. Here. A fine Davy hat. Hardly faded. Compliments of the house. Oh, Trudy. This is positively outrageous. A baby hat coming maybe from the head of a dupe.
All right. All right. Give it to me. Give it to me. $12, huh? Less 10% discount in keeping with the policy. Maybe from the White House. Well, never mind that. Now. Tell me. How much will you allow me for my suit there? Well. $6. $6? Your suit is all wool? Why, certainly. It's all wool. Oh. That's bad.
Wool is bad. Mister. Look. When the moths are hearing. I got here on all wool suits. One moth tells another they're coming for a banquet. They're bringing their friends. Pretty soon I got here a moth convention. A spray gun. I gotta buy bct. I gotta buy all night long. I'm staying in Spain. I'm not coming home. My wife is getting mad. She's packing her bags and going to Reno.
E
She's getting for me a divorce. What am I getting?
A
Custody of the mort.
E
Alimony I'm paying.
A
Payments I'm missing. To jail I'm going. My business I'm losing. I'm a bum. All because you are bringing in here on all wool suits.
Judy, for heaven's sake, let's get out of here.
E
Now, you understand everything, Father. You're to sit on the bench here in the park until we walk past. Then I'll notice how awful you look. And I'll suggest to Mr. McKeever that.
A
You invite me to my own house.
E
Exactly. Now, don't worry, darling. I'll try not to be too long.
You see, Dad? I told you Mr. McKeever would invite you to live with us. Everything's working out fine. Now, how did you like Jim?
A
Well, I haven't made up my mind yet. I'm. I'm going up to my room.
E
Oh, no, dad. Mr. McKeever told you to wait here in the hall. He'll tell you where you can sleep later.
B
Well.
A
Whose house is this?
E
Now, sit down.
A
What are all those clotheslines doing here? Is this my house or a laundry? Are those diapers?
E
Naturally. You see, the baby.
A
The baby. The baby.
E
Come and get it, Mike.
A
You come and get what? Food.
E
Darling.
D
Now, shh.
E
I told Mr. McKeever you were starving. Here we come, Mr. McKeever.
A
Well, Mike, like I told you in the park. We can't have every bum in New York living here. But I suppose one more won't matter. Well, thank you. So just make yourself right at home. Yeah, I'll try.
That's a mighty nice lounging robe you're wearing there. Oh, yes, yes. Pure silk. And notice the braid work on the cuffs. Say, maybe I'll let you wear it sometime.
I wouldn't think of depliving you. That cigar smells pretty good. Well, I might let you smoke one after dinner. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Well, come sit down, Mike. Go ahead, dig in. No, I. I'd better not. I. Don't you like bologna? All I want is milk and crackers. Milk and crackers. Oh, speaking of milk, Trudy, don't forget the baby's bottle.
E
Oh, my goodness. It's way past his feeding time.
A
Look at her run, Mike. Great little mother, isn't she? She is great. Now, what about my. Did you say mother? Baby. Oh, my goodness. Oh, wait a minute, Trudy. Trudy, wait a minute. Mike, where are you going? I'm going crazy. Trudy, wait a minute. Trudy.
E
What on earth's the matter with you? Father, I'm trying to give the baby his bottle.
A
Trudy, I simply have to talk with you.
E
Just look at this angel. You know, he's got dimples exactly like yours.
A
Now, now, Trudy, I'm going to try to be very, very calm. What's dull done is done. I consent to your marriage.
E
Then you liked him? Oh, Dad, I knew.
A
But just tell me one thing. How did all this happen?
E
Well, I guess it happened in the icebox.
A
In the icebox?
E
We were hiding there from the gate's patrol. It was cold and Jim put his arm around me. Mr. McCarthy was there too.
He wanted to send me away afterwards, but later he said I could stay. He's really very nice.
A
Yes, he must be.
E
You'll like Jim better too, when you get to know him.
A
Yeah, well, I doubt it. But if you're married, well, then you're married and I.
E
Dad, we're not married.
A
You're not married?
E
I don't even know if he wants to marry me.
A
If he wants to. Oh, my goodness. What kind of a man is he? I'll kill him. I'll fill him with my bear. Well, hello.
E
Well, come in. Alice, meet Mike. How do you do?
A
And just who do you think you are? How do you do?
E
What's the matter with him? I wish I knew.
A
You wish you knew?
E
Please calm down, Mike. So, Alice, how was Washington? Oh, a mad house. How did you. Enjoying playing nurse?
B
Maze.
E
Oh, hello, darling. Did you get lonesome from me? Oh, Alice, he's wonderful. I only wish he were mine.
B
You.
A
Wait a minute. Well, whose baby is this? Is this your baby, young woman?
E
Well, my husband has a half interest.
A
You, baby.
Pretty little thing, isn't he?
You know, Mike, you wouldn't have to eat milk and crackers if you didn't have ox. And you wouldn't have ulcers if you watched that temper of yours. Any more suggestions? Now look what you've done. Milk all over the tablecloth. I'm very sorry. Oh, you're terribly sloppy, Mike. Aren't you? You'll have to be more orderly or you can't stay. Under the circumstances, you better make your sleeping quarters in the servants hall. Sam sleeps there too. Sam? You mean there's someone else living here I haven't met? Sam is my dog.
He Barts at 7am so let him out in the yard and I won't have to get up so early. Then are those orders? For a while. Until you prove yourself a little more cooperative. Well, in that case, good night. Good night, Mike. How you doing, Mike? And you can mind your own business too. Rather. What a character. Well, Mac. You want to hear what happened in Washington? Go ahead, Whitey. Tell him. Well, briefly, Mr. McKeever. The government is willing to sell Kilson. But there's a catch. Yeah. There always is. They've already had an offer of $150,000. You know who from? That bloated billionaire, Michael J. O'.
B
Connor.
A
What does he want with that property? Hasn't he got enough? Well, the thing for you to do, boys, is Raise O' Connor's bid. Offer the government 160,000. Are we gonna get 160,000? There's no harm in making an offer. If they accept, then it's time to worry about where you're gonna get the money. The essence of big business, gentlemen, is never put one worry ahead of another. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'd better take Sam for a walk.
Operator. Operator. Operator, I was connected with. Hello? Hello? Hello, Farrell. Well, certainly. This is Mr. O'. Connor. No, no, I'm not kidnapped. No, I'm in town in an ice box. Hey, babe, I can't tell you where. Now listen. Why a Wickersham? And tell him I'll take 6 million for that west coast chain and not a cent less. Right now. Philip's back from Washington. Well, why isn't he back? Well, all right. Tell him I'll call him sometime tomorrow.
E
Meanwhile, come out of the icebox, Mike.
A
Look at him, Jim. Do you insist on using the phone in the icebox, Mike? I suggest you wear an overcoat. Yes, sir. We know it's a great temptation. But you must simply learn to control it. Control what? Well, is this playing at being a millionaire? We heard you. Just because you're living in a millionaire's house. Don't let it get you. Maybe I am a millionaire. Oh, all right, Mike, you're a millionaire. And since you decided not to go to bed, you've got a million dishes to wash. Come on. This way, Mike.
B
Dad.
E
Dad, are you awake?
A
Certainly I'm awake. How am I? And where am I supposed to sleep?
E
In the bed, of course.
A
I can't. The dog is sleeping in the bed. He won't let me get near it. Washing ditches a ballot to a dog. He barks at seven and I have to take him for a promenade. And as for that Mr. McBeagle who smokes my cigars and wears my best clothes and drinks my brandy, he's leaving this house in the morning.
E
But, dad, you.
A
Probably. They'll all be out in 24 hours or I'll have them locked up for business.
You heard me. 24 hours.
E
Yes, a straight telegram, please. To Mrs. Mary O', Connor, Royal Palms Hotel, Palm Beach, Florida. Dear Mother, please fly New York at once. We'll contact you at Waldorf Towers. Terribly urgent. Love, foodie.
And that's the whole story. Mother, I wouldn't have sent for you, but I. I just didn't know what to do. Well, darling, I haven't seen your father in four years, but I think I know just how to cope with this situation.
B
How?
E
You a household, but just had to make room for one more guest. Mother, you. Why not? And don't worry, Judy. I won't give anything away. Oh, Mother, you're an angel.
A
Mike, I'm afraid I'll have to talk to you again. Mike, you know, what have I done? You just came in the front door. Rule number one is never use that front door. Well, I forgot. Where'd you get the key? I. Well, I found it this morning when I was scrubbing the floor. Well, come on, hand it over. I'll do no such. Here. Thank you. What's that? I smell?
B
Watch.
A
What? I smell something cooking. Slum gullion. Slum gullion? Yes, it's a kind of an Irish stew. As a matter of fact, it was on account of slum gullion that I fell in love. It must be quite a dish. Yes, she certainly was my wife. My wife made the finest slumgullion in New York. By George, that is slum gullion. Yeah, it could be. We've got a cook now going out in the kitchen to meet her. Yeah, who cares about the cook? I want to meet that slum Guian.
Ah, Sl.
D
Familiar.
A
Mary.
E
Hello, Michael.
A
Riv. Riv. May I ask, what are you doing here?
E
I'm here for the same reason you are. Two wanted me to meet Jim.
A
Oh. And have you had that extreme pleasure?
E
I have. And I found him to be everything Trudy said he was.
A
Oh, indeed. You've taken on a little weight, haven't you? In the wrong places, I might add.
E
It seems close. And you're no Van Johnson yourself. I can remember when you had only two chins.
A
Well, let me tell you. Stop shushing me. We're going to dispose of this nonsense once and for all. Imagine our 18 year old wanting to marry this.
E
You married me when I was 17.
A
And look what happened to us. Mary, I resent your being here. And Trudy belongs in school and that's where she's going.
E
Trudy is in love and she wants to win, Jim. The hard way. Not with your money. Instead of admiring her for it, you're fighting her just as you've always battled anyone who wouldn't bend to your stubbornness. You just haven't the courage to see this through.
A
Oh, I haven't I?
E
That's what I said.
A
I can stick this out just as long as you can. Longer, do you hear?
B
Longer.
E
This I'll have to see. And get away from that slum guardian before I pour it down your neck.
A
In a moment we'll return with Act 3 of It Happened on 5th Avenue starring Victor Moore, John De Fore, Charlie Ruggles and Gail Storm. If you think the life of an average congressman in Washington is rather glamorous, consider the typical schedule of a present day senator. He's up by 7 o', clock, skims the congressional Record, reads the Washington Post with breakfast. Eight o', clock, off to work. En route he reads the New York Times and often dictates a letter or two before arriving at the office. At 8:30 the Philadelphia Inquirer is waiting to be read along with testimony to be presented at committee hearings. Nine o' clock staff meeting with discussions of forthcoming speeches. As many as three simultaneous committee meetings are often scheduled for 10am and our Congressman will shuttle between them all. Lunch with reporters, constituents or other congressmen. After lunch, maybe a short nap in his private office. Then to the Senate floor for a speech, some debate and the offering of amendments. Radio, TV or other press interviews will last until 5:00', clock with paperwork and hometown politicians obligating him until 6:30. After an embassy dinner, there may be nothing more to do until it all begins anew tomorrow. Back now to your producer, William Keely. Act three of It Happened on Fifth Avenue. Starting Victor Moore as McIver. Don DeForest. Jim. Charlie Ruggles as Okana. And Gail Storm as Trudy.
Well, with Trudy's mother joining Mr. McKeeva's household, it appears that the entire Oconnor family is once again residing in the o' Connor mansion. Now, in the kitchen, Trudy stands helplessly by as her parents exchange a few affectionate remarks. I'll give you just three days, Mary o'. Connor. Three days over these pots and pans and you'll be slinking back to Palm beach so fast.
E
Now, I'll tell you a thing or two.
A
You might as well realize right now that this house isn't big enough for.
B
The both of us.
E
All right. Plenty of leaving.
A
Hey, hey, hey. What goes on here?
E
Oh, they've been having a little argument, Jim. But it's all over.
A
Well, look, take it easy, Mike. You know good cooks are hard to find. Anything you want him to do, Mary?
D
Yes.
E
He can peel these potatoes.
A
Before I peel potatoes. I'll. You'll what? I'll get a chair and sit down.
That's better. Well, Trudy. Trudy. It's happened. Great news.
E
Well, tell me. What?
A
Well, Whitey and hank got over 200 of the boys together and they're all raring to go. We're putting up an average of 500 bucks a piece.
E
He'll be able to buy the property.
A
And I've just called on the Wheeler Construction Company. They may even put up the rest of the money we need. I'm going to see him again on Friday. And if we have any luck.
Hello? Hello, Farrell? Yeah, it's me. Listen, do we still own Wheeler Construction? Good. Now, a fella named Jim Bullock is seeing Wheeler on Friday. He has some half baked idea about model houses or something. He's to get routine number six, you understand? Well, make sure a Wheeler on. Now, how are we doing in that Camp Kilton deal? Well, why don't you know who's bidding against us? All right, all right. But I want that property. Oh, and if you need cash, transfer a couple of million from Chicago. Oh, Mike. Yeah, I'll call you later. I caught you again, Mike, playing millionaire in the icebox. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. McKeever. I just can't seem to break the habit. I know you have millions and millions of dollars hanging in the balance. But Mike, you didn't make your bed this morning.
Those hamburgers. Wonderful. Without a doubt, Mary. The best hamburgers I've ever eaten. You suppose I could have a little more Mac? Well, P. Your plate, Mike. What about your milk and cracker diet? Well, my stomach feels a lot better. Well, that proves what I've always done. Believed when a man's happy he could eat nails. You know, I wonder if the Oconnors were as happy in this house as we are. Well, from what I hear, they're the snarled, upest people in the world. What makes you say that? Well, check Mr. O'. Connor. They tell me he's one of the worst tempered tyrants in the United States. Well. Well, I understand Mrs. OConnor is no bargain either.
Then. Most of her time trying not to admit she's middle aged.
E
Suppose we talk about something else.
A
Well, Mike, you had enough to eat? Oh, yes, yes, I feel fine. Good. Then there'll be no excuses. Excuses? Yeah, for going to work. You see, when I lived here alone when I ate from Mr. O' Connor's larder was never missed. But now, well, we've got to start feeding ourselves. I figure you and I can get jobs shoveling snow? Yep. Are you serious? Now, let me tell you something. Neither you nor any other man is going to make me do manual labor and that's final. There's a shovel in the garage, Mike. I'll get it.
D
Oh.
A
Well, I must admit, Mike, for a man who wasn't going to do manual labor, you're doing fine. Where have you been? Oh, I've been working hard. I've been lining up another job for you. The parking lot across the street. Now, listen, you. And now I. I'd like to do something else for you. I should help. I know what. I'll see if I can find you a bigger shovel.
Hello, Mike. Well, have a hard day? Just shoveled off half of Manhattan, that's all. Tell me, Jim, how did you. How did you make out with Wheeler Construction? Well, they turned down a housing proposition. But they did offer me a job. 12,000 a year in Bolivia. Yeah. Well, when are you. When are you leaving? Are you kidding? Why would I want to go to Bolivia? Besides, I'd have to be single.
B
Well.
A
Oh, now look, Mike. I couldn't leave Trudy and all those fellows. Why? Well, they're counting on me. Jim, just what is this big idea you think so important? The government's selling Camp Kilson and we're trying to buy it. Cam Kilson? Well, what's wrong with that? Oh, nothing, nothing, nothing at all. We thought we could get it cheap, but some drip has bid us up to nearly $200,000. Oh, well, tomorrow's another day. Yeah, well, don't remind me of it, I'll have to shovel snow again. I'm going to find the liniment.
E
All right, michael. Well, if you can shovel snow, I guess I can rub your back.
A
Oh, thanks, mary. Down a little further, mary, will you? Oh, there. Ah, that's it. That's it.
You remember, mary, the first time you rubbed my back? Huh? I was a bricklayer then, wasn't I? We had lots of fun in those days, didn't we, mary?
E
Yes, you had lots of muscle.
A
Yes.
E
Now look at you. Flabby as an old sea.
A
Flabby.
D
Mary.
A
Mike, she's just rubbing my back. Mike, I must ask you to go to your room at once. Now, just a minute. You go to your room. I'll talk to you in the morning. Mary.
E
Good morning, Mr. McIver.
A
Good morning, mary. Good morning, mike. I hope you don't think I was being a bit stuffy about last night. Only you must remember there are young people in the house. Oh, mary was merely rubbing my back. Well, not that I'm opposed to a man or woman falling in love, but.
E
Falling in love?
A
You, too? Why, the minute you saw each other. Why not? It's never too late. Now, you take mike. He's a nice enough fellow, but what has he made of himself? Absolutely nothing.
What you both need is responsibility. Whatever you do, don't end up like me. You know, if I were a younger man, I might be asking mary to marry me. Well, think it over.
You know, mary, he's. He's right.
E
Is he, Michael?
A
Why. Why do you think I've been hanging around here, submitting to. To all this? Only because you're here, mary.
E
Why, michael, you've changed.
D
It's.
E
It's almost like old times again.
A
And I'm going to change even more, mary. I promise.
E
Good evening, michael. Have another hard day shoveling snow?
A
Oh, mary, my back is broken.
E
So are the hearts of 200 Daniels.
A
What are you talking about?
E
What I read in the evening paper. Michael j. O' connor adds camp kilson to empire. You knew jim and his friends were trying to get that property, didn't you?
A
No, I. Well, yes, I did, but not until it was too late.
E
It's still not too late. What a nice christmas present camp kilson would be for jim and trudy and the rest.
A
Oh, mary, that idea of theirs, it's nonsensical.
E
It'll make an awful lot of people happy.
A
You never could understand that business and sentiment. Oh, look, mary, let's not even talk about it. Is trudy home yet? She's out with Jim. What, again?
E
He has a lot to talk over with her.
A
Not that you're interested. Oh, now, Mary.
E
I was wrong, Michael. You haven't changed and you never will.
B
Never.
A
You haven't eaten a thing.
B
Trudy.
E
I'm not hungry.
A
Want to dance?
D
No.
A
Oh, Trudy. Look, I know you're disappointed. But o' Connor's got Camp Kilson and I've got to get a job. So I'll have to go to Bolivia.
E
You must have decided in an awful hurry.
A
Well, it's not forever, Trudy. Just a year or so.
E
That's a long time, Jim.
A
Okay. Okay. Then maybe you better not wait.
E
Maybe I shouldn't.
A
Well, just promise we when I'm gone. You won't start breaking into people's houses again.
E
And what if I hadn't? I might never have met you.
A
You'd be better off.
E
Would I? Maybe you're right.
A
I know I'm right.
E
Then you can go straight to Bolivia and stay there. You hear me? Stay there?
He's going to Bolivia, Mother. He's taking that job. Well, maybe it's also the best, Trudy.
A
Yes, of course. Course it is.
E
Trudy. Did you say Wheeler Construction Company?
D
Yes.
E
And they want only single men. That's what Jim says. That's strange.
A
In fact, it's ridiculous.
E
I just remembered your father owns that company.
A
Dad. Well, all right. All right. We'll forget about Bolivia.
E
Michael, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. I'm leaving here tomorrow. Claudia will be going with me.
D
Yes.
E
You'll have this whole house to yourself again, Mary. I hope you'll be very happy.
A
Yeah. I just can't understand it, Mike. I can't understand it. Don't tell me you're in the dumps too, McKeever. Jim going to Bolivia. Mary and Trudy leaving. Hank and Whitey looking for apartments again. You know, Mike, I think I'll spend the rest of the winter somewhere else. Well, why? What's wrong with this place? Well, since Jim and the boys lost their big chance. All the happiness that filled this old house is gone. It's like a morgue. I was looking over the old Guggenhof place this afternoon. The Guggenhof place? Why, that doesn't compare with this, Mike. A house, any house. Is only what its occupants make it. Well, I think I'll make some coffee and eat a caviar sandwich.
Hello, Jeff. Hi, Max.
B
Jim.
A
Hello, Mike. Jim, you don't want to go to Bolivia.
B
Why not?
A
Well, perhaps if you had a talk with o' Connor you wouldn't have to go to Bolivia.
B
O'. Connor.
A
Yeah. Now, how are you going to talk to that old octopus if you can't even see him? Well, maybe you can see him. I have a friend who works in his office buildings.
B
Eh?
A
He's head janitor there. And believe it or not, o' Connor thinks an awful lot of old Charlie. Oh, now, wait a minute, Mike. I hope you don't mind, Jim, but I asked Charlie to ask Mr. O' Connor to give you an appointment. And guess what? He'll see you in one hour. Mike, have you been playing millionaire on the phone again? No, no, no. I know what I'm saying, Jim. Oh, don't pass up this chance.
Okay, Mike, okay. It won't be the first office I've been thrown out of.
B
Hello?
A
Hello, Farrell? Yes. Send my car for me right away. I'm coming to the office. No, no, no, not to the house, you idiot. The park. Yeah, and I'll be waiting in the park. Hurry.
E
Good afternoon, sir.
A
Good afternoon. I know this is a silly question, but may I see Mr. Octopus? I mean. I mean Mr. O'. Connor. My name's Mr. Bullock.
E
Oh, yes, Mr. Bullock. Mr. O' Connor is expecting you. His office is straight ahead.
A
Take another wire to Anderson. I thought I told you to transfer the cash offer with that cash to our parish accounts. Can I leave for five minutes without things going haywire? Send 2 million immediately. Mike, what in the name of. Sit down, Jim. I'm using the dictaphone. Have lawyers phone San Francisco immediately. If those lumber contracts aren't signed tomorrow, the deal is off. Mike, are you nuts? Stop playing millionaire. Get away from o' Connor's desk. Send a cable to London. Canadian holdings for sale price is still 12 million. So long, Mike. I'm going to get a doctor. I'm sorry. I beg your pardon, sir. Here are the camp kills in papers, Mr. O'.
B
Connor.
A
If you need me, I'll be in the outer office. Sir.
D
Did.
A
Did he say o Connor? Why not? That's my name. But. But here. Now, don't start popping questions. I haven't time. Jim. I'm transferring camp Killson to you and Hank and Whiting. Here are the papers. But there's one thing you must do for me. Oh, right. Not one word of this must ever reach McIver. As far as he's concerned, I'm still just a panhandler. Is that clear? I. I think so.
C
Yeah.
A
You were right, Barrel.
D
Bring in the water.
A
He's painted.
I've never done this before, folks, but I think the occasion was the bottle of Mr. Oconnors best champagne. Now if everyone will please take a glass.
This toast is to Mike. To Mike, who saved the day.
I'm glad I was able to be of service. And even though Mac here chooses to think of me as a drifter, a panhandler and a man of little principle. Water under the bridge, Mike. Please try to forget that I ever said it. Mac, it's already forgotten. Well, it's too bad we have to leave here. But since Mr. O' Connor told Jim that he's coming back to his house. And since I've already made arrangements at the Guggenhoff mansion. Perhaps it's all for the best. Our path may never cross again. But it's wonderful to know that you've all been my friends. For to be without friends is a very serious form of poverty. Mac.
B
Look.
A
Trudy and I got. And I thought. Oh, that's fine. That's just fine. A double wedding.
E
Mac, Mike and I are getting married too. And what Jim means is that we're going to have plenty of room and you can stay with us. Oh, but Mike and I were hoping.
A
You'D come with us. Well, how about it, Mac? Thanks. Thanks to all of you. But you have your own lives to lead and I. Well, it's a little too late for me to change. Besides, I may decide to go down to Virginia. There's a lovely house in Bubbling Springs.
It's Mr. Oconnors place. When he comes back here, I usually go down there.
Well, I'll see you all in the morning. I. I better take a walk with Sam. I.
Well, Mac. We're all out of the house. Hey, Mac. Hey, Mac. Where you going? Through the passage, Jim. Same way I came in. Well, I guess we'd all better leave that way, huh? Well, perhaps we shouldn't all leave at once, Jim. Trudy, you go first.
E
Goodbye, Mr. McKeever.
A
Goodbye, dear. I hope you'll be very happy. Thank you, Mac. I'll never forget you. Good luck. Thank you, Jim. My, they're a nice couple, aren't they, Mary? Oh my God. I nearly forgot. Mike. In case you have no place to spend your honeymoon. Here are the keys to the Vandeventer mansion there in Europe.
Well, thanks, Mac. Thanks. Mary. If he doesn't treat you right, you come back and report to me. I'll be here Again. Again. Next November 3rd.
E
That's a date, Max.
A
Well, goodbye, Mary. Goodbye, Mike. Come on, Sam. That's a good old dog.
B
Come on.
A
We'll be on our way.
You Know, Mary, there are richer men than I. Michael. Mary, remind me to nail up the boards in this fence, will you? Next November, he's coming through the front door.
We leave Aloysius T. McKeever to solve the housing shortage in his own inimitable way and turn our attention to tonight's stars as they are in real life. Victor Moore, Don DeFore, Charlie Ruggles and Gail Storm. You know, I didn't see you four at the premiere. Oh, we were there, Bill, but we may have been a little late. You see, Bill, we all rode to the premiere in one of those displayed Fifth Avenue buses that you mentioned earlier and something went wrong. Well, the way it was coughing and wheezing, I think the climate must have got us.
E
Besides, you can tell it wasn't used to California traffic.
A
How so, Gail?
E
It stopped for pedestrians.
A
And then when it saw a sign pointing to Riverside Drive, it turned around and went looking for grandson.
But we finally figured out what was the matter. We were on the upper deck and no driver up there.
Good night. Good night. And thanks for another so far hit.
This is William Keeley saying good night to you from Hollywood.
C
We just heard Charles Ruggles and Don defore in Suspense and in It Happened on Fifth Avenue. That will do it for this week's show. Thanks so much for joining me. I hope you'll be back next week as our month of holiday movies continues. With the stars of the Bishop's Wife. We'll hear Old Time radio Thrillers starring Cary Grant, Loretta Young and David Niven. In the meantime, you can check out down these Mean Streets, my Old Time Radio Detective podcast. New episodes are out on Sundays and all through December. We're doing Wednesday bonus episodes featuring Christmas radio mysteries. If you like what you're hearing, don't be a stranger. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. And if you'd like to lend support to the show, you can visit buymeacoffee.com meansts OTR. I'll be back next week with the stars of the Bishop's Wife. Each of them appearing in tales well calculated to keep you in.
B
Suspense.
A
Ladies and gentlemen, the chief hope of our enemies is to divide the United States along racial and religious lines and thereby conquer us. Let's not spread prejudice. A divided America is a weak America. Through our behavior, we encourage the respect of our children and make them better.
B
Neighbors to all races and religions.
A
Remind them that being good neighbors has helped make our country great and kept her free. Thank you.
Host: Mean Streets Podcasts
Episode: 431 – Stars of “It Happened on Fifth Avenue”
Airdate: December 11, 2025
This episode of Stars on Suspense celebrates Hollywood legends Victor Moore, Don DeFore, Charles Ruggles, and Gail Storm, stars of the underappreciated holiday film It Happened on Fifth Avenue, by presenting classic radio performances featuring Ruggles and DeFore. Listeners delight in two suspenseful tales from “Suspense” radio—including a gothic poison murder with Charles Ruggles and a Lucille Fletcher ghost story starring DeFore—followed by a full cast Lux Radio Theater adaptation of It Happened on Fifth Avenue. The episode combines nostalgia, thrills, and the festive warmth of golden age Hollywood.
“Today, we'll hear suspense episodes starring two of the film's Charles Ruggles and Don Defore...Then we'll hear Don DeFore, who co stars with Mildred Natwick in the Furnished Floor...Finally, we'll hear the two actors recreate their film roles...” — Host (02:20)
“Through our behavior, we encourage the respect of our children and make them better neighbors to all races and religions…” — Closing Message (121:11)
This episode is a warm-hearted journey through suspense, nostalgia, and holiday joy—acted with wit and humanity by Hollywood’s best. Each selection serves as both a time capsule and a reminder of radio’s enduring storytelling magic. It’s a gift to vintage radio fans and newcomers alike.
For fans new and old:
You’ll laugh, you’ll shiver, and you just might reach for your handkerchief before the end.