Episode 1 - Cyberbullying and Harassment

Summary

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Startpoint Podcast: Episode 1 – Cyberbullying and Harassment

Host: Glenn
Guest: Zoe
Date: November 22, 2020

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Episode Overview

In this powerful first episode of the Startpoint podcast's "Snapshot" series, host Glenn interviews Zoe, who shares her harrowing real-life experience with cyberbullying, harassment, and cyberstalking after a breakup. The episode aims to shed light on the multifaceted nature of online abuse and the deep, lasting impact it has on victims, as well as practical advice for staying safe online.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Defining Cyberbullying and Harassment

• Cyberbullying explained as repeated, intentional acts of aggression via digital platforms, targeting victims who cannot easily defend themselves.
• Reference to scholarly definitions, including Dr. Megan Marino's and the National Crime Prevention Council ([00:04]).

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2. Zoe’s Story: The Onset of Abuse

• Multiple Online Attacks:
  • Following her breakup, Zoe was targeted online by many accounts, all ultimately traced back to her ex-boyfriend ([01:26] – [01:48]).
  • These personas were both male and female, each using different angles—intimidation from "male" accounts, and attempts at empathy and character references from "female" ones ([02:13] – [02:34]).

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3. Emotional Manipulation and Escalation

• Tactics Used:
  • Threats to release private photos and messages to Zoe’s loved ones and workplace.
  • Efforts to manipulate Zoe emotionally included attempts at rekindling romance (e.g., sharing a photo album of memories), followed by threats of self-harm, then finally aggressive punishment ([02:39] – [03:25]).
  • Quote (Zoe, 02:39): "There was the threat of personal photos, information, messages. These will be released to your workplace, to your family."

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4. Digital Attacks: Websites, Social Media, and Identity Theft

• Explicit Website:
  • Her ex registered a domain name using Zoe's name and built a site containing explicit content, personal details, photos, and her home address (embedded via Google Maps), endangering her safety and privacy ([03:35]–[04:07]).
    • Quote (Zoe, 03:41): "It had personal details and photos and videos. Also a link to where I actually lived. So it was compromising both my safety and to embarrass and humiliate me."
  • The site was updated repeatedly over weeks, signaling ongoing surveillance and threats of further exposure ([04:34]–[04:45]).
• Social Media Impersonation:
  • Fake Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, email, and phone accounts were created in Zoe's name to send messages, manipulate her network, and impersonate her ([05:38]–[06:28]).
    • Quote (Zoe, 05:52): "They either pretended to be me... or it was used to spread lies and sort of turn the people who are on my side into the bad people..."

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5. Technological Exploitation

• SIM Swapping & Phone Number Exploitation:
  • Zoe was forced to change phone numbers repeatedly (5–6 times in six weeks) because her ex, with IT expertise, used SIM swapping to intercept her calls and messages, gaining access to family and friends ([06:45]–[07:34]).
    • Quote (Zoe, 07:47): "...once you can do that, you can pretty much export any number onto a new SIM, despite the original owner having the actual SIM it was on."
• Identity Theft:
  • Her ex registered multiple numbers in her name, sometimes making it appear she was messaging herself ([08:01]–[08:30]).
  • Police investigation revealed the extent of this fraud after she reported the numbers ([08:09]).

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6. Broad-Based Attacks: Emails and Messaging

• Impersonation for Damage:
  • Over 100 emails sent posing as Zoe, delivering explicit content and false confessions to a wide group obtained from a mailing list ([08:38]–[09:48]).
  • Messages to her family, manipulating relationships and continuing the harassment even after Zoe blocked him on most platforms ([09:49]–[10:32]).

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7. Infiltrating Government Accounts

• Service Account Breaches:
  • Her ex gained access to governmental profiles (e.g., Service NSW), used identity documents to:
    • Apply for more SIM cards.
    • Transfer car registration from Zoe to himself; later deregistered the car, leaving her unknowingly driving unregistered and uninsured ([10:46]–[11:48]).
    • Even reported the vehicle as stolen and removed number plates, violating a restraining order ([12:00]–[12:25]).

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8. Impact and Response from Authorities

• Police Response:
  • When Zoe reported the theft, police initially believed she was in the wrong due to the fraudulent documents, compounding her isolation ([12:37]–[12:57]).

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9. Psychological and Emotional Toll

• The emotional devastation was as severe online as it was offline:
  • Quote (Zoe, 13:17): "It all has the same effect. Like you're isolated, you're alone, it puts fear in you... you're exhausted fighting these fires and you can't stop it because it's online."
  • Zoe remarked on the never-ending dread, since cyberattacks could strike at any time ([13:17]–[13:39]).

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10. Advice for Other Victims

• Zoe’s Recommendations:
  • Be as “cyber smart” as possible before trouble starts.
    • Use two-factor authentication everywhere.
    • Be persistent and assertive when seeking help.
    • Utilize resources like the Esafety Commission.
    • Above all, “there is hope at the end” ([14:20]–[14:51]).
  • Quote (Zoe, 14:20): "Be as cyber smart as you can prior to anything like this. Always do like two factor authentication. Also, like, be persistent in getting help."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Revenge and Control:
  • "There was this common theme of if you don't, you know, do something or get back with this person, you will be punished." — Zoe [01:33]
• On Escalation:
  • "It was also using very innocent photos of just me and my friends... It was implying druggery stuff." — Zoe [04:11]
• On Systematic Harassment:
  • "...you can't stop it because it's online and you don't know. You're waiting for the next attack and you don't know where it's going to be." — Zoe [13:30]
• On Hope:
  • "You have to be really strong and persistent to get through anything, but there is hope at the end." — Zoe [14:47]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Defining Cyberbullying: [00:04]
• Start of Zoe’s Story: [01:13]
• Manipulation Tactics (Romance to Threats): [02:39] – [03:25]
• Domain/Explicit Website: [03:35] – [04:07]
• Fake Social Accounts/Impersonation: [05:38] – [06:28]
• SIM Swapping & Identity Theft: [06:45] – [08:30]
• Service Account/Catastrophic Identity Theft: [10:46] – [11:48]
• Impact Assessment (Emotional Toll): [13:11] – [13:39]
• Advice for Listeners: [14:05] – [14:51]

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Final Thoughts

This episode exposes the frightening depth and persistence of cyber harassment and the challenges victims face seeking justice and protection. Zoe’s story is a cautionary tale about modern relationships and the dark possibilities of digital abuse. Glenn promises future explorations of prevention and recovery in upcoming episodes.

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Transcript

[Interviewer]

Foreign.

[Glenn]

Welcome to snapshot on StartPoint. I'm your host, Glenn. On today's Snapshot, we're taking a look at the subject of cyber stalking, cyber harassment, and cyberbullying. What is cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is a global term that means harassment of someone by use of electronic media, usually, but not always, social media. In a 2014 article by Dr. Megan Marino in the Academy Pediatrics Journal, she described it as an aggressive, intentional act or behavior that is carried out by a group or an individual using electronic forms of contact repeatedly and over time against a victim who cannot easily defend him or herself. There are many variations of the definition, such as the National Crime Prevention Council's more specific definition. The process of using the Internet, cell phones, or other devices to send or post texts or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person. We'll be chatting to Zoe, a victim of cyberbullying, harassment and stalking, and hear her story.

[Interviewer]

You broke up with your boyfriend and subsequently you were attacked online by many different people. Other than the fact that they were complete strangers to you, what was the other common thread connecting these people?

[Zoe]

They knew personal information about me and it was all about revenge.

[Interviewer]

Very intimate details.

[Zoe]

Very intimate details. Could probably say, I haven't pissed off too many people in my life. But there was this common theme of if you don't, you know, do something or get back with this person, you will be punished.

[Interviewer]

The other common thread being they were all him.

[Zoe]

Yeah, it was all one person. It all led back to him some way, shape or form, whether it was demands of getting back with him or whether it was just talk to him or. Yeah, it was. And then people were requesting just to meet, for me to see him, to meet up. To meet up.

[Interviewer]

To let him explain.

[Zoe]

Yeah, just give him a chance.

[Interviewer]

And they were. The Personas were male, female, both.

[Zoe]

It was. I think it was a intimidation thing from the male side. And then it was a. Well, I'll relate more to you. If you're a female, he's a great person. All the females tend to give him a character reference to how great he was.

[Interviewer]

What forms of emotional manipulation did he try using on you?

[Zoe]

There was the threat of personal photos, information, messages. These will be released to your workplace, to your family. You will lose all people who care for you.

[Interviewer]

He tried to romance you at first?

[Zoe]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

And so was. He created a photo album?

[Zoe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He tried to sort of, I guess, make me remember the good times. And then the photo album, the memories, the. You know, this is. This was Us, this is what we could be. And then it moved on to suicide note photos. And then it was demands of, if you don't see him, he'll kill himself. And then when that didn't work, it was, well, you're going to be punished now.

[Interviewer]

Yep. And he. And there was punishment. There was a tax on your personal property and.

[Zoe]

Yeah, and online exposing me, I guess,

[Interviewer]

a domain name, your name as a.com was registered. What did he do with that domain name?

[Zoe]

I made a very intimate service, explicit service site. It had personal details and photos and videos. Also a link to where I actually lived. So it was compromising both my safety and to embarrass and humiliate me.

[Interviewer]

And that link was. It was Google Maps. It was inserted into the.

[Zoe]

Yeah, it was very thought out.

[Interviewer]

And there was. It's like it was a menu, wasn't it?

[Zoe]

Yeah, it was. It was also. It wasn't just implying like using photos, it was also using very innocent photos of just me and my friends. But it was implying of the words and description next to. It was implying druggery stuff. It wasn't just.

[Interviewer]

And he didn't just. It wasn't just throwing up there.

[Zoe]

No, it was very thought out, it

[Interviewer]

was very calculated and it was updated over the space of the next couple of weeks. There were. And promising, threatening more things to be seen.

[Zoe]

It was like, you know, you might win this round or whatever, but, you know, you'll be back.

[Interviewer]

How did you find out about that site?

[Zoe]

It was a phone call regarding, I guess, promoting your domain name to a friend. And then it was put two and two together that this website contained my name. We looked at it and we saw what it contained.

[Interviewer]

Who else did he threaten to contact? Like who? What were the list of people or places that he wanted to.

[Zoe]

It was mainly my employment, my family and my friends. Was all to sort of isolate me and back me into a corner, feeling that I had nothing left.

[Interviewer]

And to cut you off from that support network. Yeah. Fake social media accounts were set up in your name by your ex. What was the purpose of these accounts? What did they do?

[Zoe]

They either pretended to be me to, I guess spread his. It was either recommending and saying to other people, you know, I love him and I can't be without him to make me look like I've made the mistake, or it was used to spread lies and sort of turn the people who are on my side into the bad people and say, you know, they're stopping me from seeing him.

[Interviewer]

He created these accounts on what sites there was Facebook.

[Zoe]

There was fake email accounts, there was Instagram, there was Snapchats, there was multiple mobile phone numbers in my name. And main two were Instagram and Facebook.

[Interviewer]

In the first six weeks of breaking up with him, how many phone numbers had you had?

[Zoe]

5 going on 6. On the average of changing it about once a week.

[Interviewer]

I think in one case it was in less than four hours.

[Zoe]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Which opens up a whole other lot of questions about how he managed to gain access to that sensitive information. We know that he. Because you gave up your first phone number, because that was his account, wasn't it? And then he used that. He regained the access to that phone number and then he used that to contact your family, didn't you? As you.

[Zoe]

It was all about the exporting a sim, so not many people have the ability to do it, but he was

[Interviewer]

able to because his background is in it. So he knows those things inside and out.

[Zoe]

Yep. And once you can do that, you can pretty much export any number onto a new sim, despite the original owner having the actual SIM it was on.

[Interviewer]

So as well as your phone numbers, how many other phone numbers did you find that you were being contacted, texted by other accounts, but then you found out those accounts were registered in your name?

[Zoe]

Yeah, it was probably over 6 or 7 towards the end, but there was multiple that I didn't know about either.

[Interviewer]

And you found out about that how?

[Zoe]

When he was arrested for. I was giving the numbers to the police and then they were coming back as being registered under my name.

[Interviewer]

In your name. So he would have had identity theft. He assumed your identity to create these phone numbers and then use those numbers.

[Zoe]

And it looked like I was messaging myself.

[Interviewer]

Emails are sent to. It was estimated in excess of 100 people. As you. What information was sent?

[Zoe]

There was some explicit photos. There was basically pretending to be me to apologised, to say I was wrong and I was. I. I still loved him and I was the one that lied and I was the reason. And then the rest was, I guess, fake admissions of my indiscretions in the past and that I had done what he had done and that other people had interfered.

[Interviewer]

You'd had some kind of contact or you knew most of these people. Did you have their email addresses?

[Zoe]

I hardly use email for anything. A lot of communication is through social media and there's no way I'd have 100 addresses in my. In access to my email. I wouldn't access. I wouldn't contact people via email.

[Interviewer]

How did he get all of these numbers?

[Zoe]

Through a forum. He had access to the forum site. So I got their emails and they'd

[Interviewer]

been on a mailing list, hadn't they, for a specific event.

[Zoe]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And so he just went through there and did send all.

[Zoe]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Text messages to your family as you. How did he do this?

[Zoe]

It was the whole. So my. My old number that he gained access to, he exported to a new sim and then he was messaging my family, pretending to be me on that number, saying that I was, you know, I was never wrong and I still loved him and blah, blah, and on to make it right.

[Interviewer]

And that was within 24 hours of you changing your number and you had blocked him on social media on. On everywhere except I believe it was. Was it imessage or what's the.

[Zoe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, imessage.

[Interviewer]

And he.

[Zoe]

Because you can use an email. Right.

[Interviewer]

And he had been. He was pissed off that you had blocked him that way and he had threatened you with what.

[Zoe]

Yeah. Expose everything and tell everyone what it was like. And if I didn't meet his demands,

[Interviewer]

he gained access to some of your accounts like service New South Wales, rms. What happened with that?

[Zoe]

So if you gain access to that one, you can get access to their. Firstly, their license number. That allows you to do multiple things like new SIM numbers in there, because you've got your license number as well as credit applications. And then you can. Also, because they've got their vehicles, you can do a disposal of the vehicle. So he essentially moved the car from my name to his by pretending to be me, by accessing my account.

[Interviewer]

So he transferred the ownership, the car registration from your name to his and then he. Then he moved the address.

[Zoe]

Yeah. And then. And then he deregistered it. So I was driving an unregistered, uninsured

[Interviewer]

vehicle for a period of about eight days, I think it was. You were driving unregistered without uninsured vehicle.

[Zoe]

Without knowing.

[Interviewer]

Without knowing. Of course, you could have been pulled over, fined for that, have to go to court. Did he not contact the police and report that vehicle stolen?

[Zoe]

Yeah. And the vehicle's report stolen. And one of the number plates was stolen as well. So it eventually came to my attention once he wasn't mentioned it wasn't my car.

[Interviewer]

As well as setting up this situation to get you in trouble. It wasn't running to his timeline. He then removed the back number plate. By doing so, he violated a provisional avo.

[Zoe]

It was still claimed that his family members did it. So they couldn't get him for that because he was claiming his family members did it on him and he had

[Interviewer]

no knowledge of it except how did the family members know where the car was. Then when you reported the stolen number plate to the police and they came, what happened there?

[Zoe]

Yeah, I was basically told that it wasn't my vehicle, it was his. And by me having possession of it, I was actually in the wrong.

[Interviewer]

And he was the victim.

[Zoe]

Yeah, I then had no vehicle. I was, I was told that I'd done the wrong thing and that, yeah, they couldn't do anything about it.

[Interviewer]

These attacks that came online, were they just as devastating as the offline ones?

[Zoe]

Yeah, it all has the same effect. Like you're isolated, you're alone, it puts fear in you. But the cyber stuff is also a level of fear where it doesn't matter what you do, you're exhausted fighting these fires and you can't stop it because it's online and you don't know. You're waiting for the next attack and you don't know where it's going to be.

[Interviewer]

Like, you could physically hide your possessions yourself and be physically move. You can physically disappear. But if it's online and it can be any time of the day or not.

[Zoe]

Yeah. And you can remove all your social media and not have that presence on there. But your other accounts, like your service, South Wales, any other important information, your mindgarv, anything like that, it's still exposed and sitting there waiting for anyone to attack it.

[Interviewer]

And is there any thing that you could tell anybody else who's a victim what they can do to help protect themselves or what. What do they do if they find themselves in your situation?

[Zoe]

Be as cyber smart as you can prior to anything like this. Always do like two factor authentication. Also, like, be persistent in getting help. You have to be quite firm in asking what you need. The Esafety Commission is really good as well. A lot of it comes from like, you have to be really strong and persistent to get through anything, but there is hope at the end.

[Glenn]

Thank you for listening to the first episode of Snapshot on startpoint. We've only touched very briefly on the subject of online harassment. There will be more, including steps you can take to help prevent it, as well as what to do when you are targeted online by a stalker. Be sure to hit subscribe on this podcast on Anchor FM or on your favorite podcast app.