#151 - Are You Garbage?

Summary

Stavvy's World #151: Are You Garbage?

Host: Stavros Halkias
Guests: “Are You Garbage?” hosts Kevin (Kippy) Ryan, H. Foley, and crew
Date: October 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode features Stavros Halkias joined by the hosts of “Are You Garbage?”, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, bringing their signature blend of self-deprecating humor, blue-collar perspectives, and endless banter. Set in a temporary Manhattan studio at NYU, the crew reminisce about theatrical misadventures, dissect all manner of “garbage” lifestyle choices (especially around food, travel, and flying), and field wild listener calls—including a polyamory/paternity crisis and dealing with a Nazi tattoo artist. Expect stories about airport breakfasts, white trash ingenuity, hotel hierarchies, and a healthy roast of one another’s dietary habits and life decisions.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. Academic Past and Intelligence (01:10–05:40)

• Background Check: Each host humorously details their college GPA and intellectual decline after diving into comedy. Ryan discusses his academic ups and downs, mentioning a failed Shakespeare class, which sets off a tangent about who really belongs performing Shakespeare.
• Favorite Books: Half-remembered reading of Atlas Shrugged by Elvis, leading to playful accusations of faking intellectualism.
• Life Lessons: The group concludes that comedic knowledge comes at the expense of everything else.
  • Quote (03:53, Stavros): “It was like Flowers for Algernon. I just became an idiot all over again.”

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2. Theater, Performing Arts, and Trashy Productions (06:00–14:00)

• Cultural Divide: The guys share nostalgia (and self-ridicule) around theater productions—children’s plays, community theater, and slapdash Shakespeare. Elvis recounts a disastrous Winnie the Pooh children’s theater story ("Piglet's house burned down") and how children's laughter was not the intended result.
  • Quote (11:09, Elvis): “My roommate goes, his house burned down... 200 kids just gasped.”
• High/Low Culture: Eldest confesses confusion at Broadway spectacle, preferring movies to the artifice of live theater.
  • Quote (13:45, Eldest): “Why are we all acting like this is good?”

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3. Airport, Travel, and Food Rituals (15:54–42:00)

• Soda Preferences: Extended debate about diet sodas, loyalty to the Coke Freestyle Machine, and the joys/guilt of sugar-free options.
  • Quote (16:59, Stavi): “That’s my canvas—as far as I’m concerned, my large fountain Coke is a work of art.”
• Airport Dining: The guests defend their tradition of arriving early to JFK’s Palm Steakhouse for a pre-flight breakfast, prompting Stavi to roast the logic and food quality.
  • Quote (21:05, Stavi): “I’ve never eaten at a steakhouse in an airport because I’m not white trash that won the lottery, which I guess is what you are.”
• Second Breakfasts: The concept of eating two full meals before noon ("one at the airport, one on the plane") is dissected, shamed, then ultimately rationalized.
  • Quote (26:13, Stavi): “That is the sign your life is going good—when you can say no to a second breakfast.”
• Flight Snacks: Deep dive into best/worst in-flight snacks and subtle hierarchy among Biscoff cookies, chocolate shortbreads, vegan gummies, and even pistachios for the “healthy” illusion.

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4. Planes, Armrest Etiquette, and White Trash Van Life (32:25–65:10)

• Seating Beef: Debate over aisle vs. window seat for fat guys; how to ethically get your bags post-landing; public bottlenecking etiquette.
  • Quote (36:34, Stavi): “Everyone’s urgency—as soon as that bell rings...where the fuck are you going? You’re standing there for pure anxiety.”
• Road Life: Descriptions of their tricked-out conversion van (captain's chairs, big-screen TV)—pride in trashy roots and cross-country travel.
  • Quote (63:54, Eldest): “A conversion van is another white trash thing, of course...and I’m so proud of it.”
• Van Memories: Childhood marvel at families with minivans and TV, wistfulness over lost family connections, and the dream of just cruising with snacks and cartoons.

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5. Listener Calls and Advice Highlights

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A. Polyamory & Paternity Crisis (68:01–80:04)

• Situation: Caller’s wife is pregnant after consensual group sex where another man “cream-pied” her—with worrisome doubts over paternity.
• Panel's Take:
  • If you let another man finish inside your wife, you "bought the ticket”; get a DNA test or you’ll obsess forever.
  • The only way to resolve is to have the awkward talk ASAP.
  • All acknowledge they'd struggle with similar boundaries.
  • Quote (73:38, Stavi): “You’ll just either have this conversation once now or have it in your head every day for the rest of your life.”

B. Guilt Over Pre-Relationship Hookups (100:13–108:46)

• Situation: Guy’s been with his girlfriend for 3 years, but she doesn’t know he previously slept with another (much older, alcoholic) coworker at their old job.
• Panel's Take:
  • Don’t mention unless it comes up organically—there’s no betrayal, only shame.
  • Quote (104:44, Stavi): “Only you are thinking about it... you didn’t betray her. It’s just kind of embarrassing for you.”

C. Nazi Tattoo Artist Dilemma (86:41–93:14)

• Situation: Caller discovers mid-sleeve that their tattoo artist is a Holocaust denier/Nazi sympathizer.
• Panel's Take:
  • Most infrastructure in the South is built by similar idiots; unless it’s a hate symbol, just finish the tattoo or switch artists as you feel comfortable, but there’s no moral requirement to remove it.
  • Quote (89:03, Stavi): “You’ve enjoyed the work of anti-Jewish conspiracy theorists many times, if you’ve ever had any infrastructure done in the South.”

D. Cop Neighbor’s Aggressive Dog (110:42–117:39)

• Situation: Caller’s mom and dog repeatedly “attacked” by police neighbor’s loose dogs; fear of escalating by involving animal control.
• Panel's Take:
  • Best to approach reasonably, not combatively, and stress shared interest in dog safety; the “cop” angle is likely overblown.
  • Quote (113:31, Eldest): “If they kill your dog, their dogs will get put down. Everyone loses. Just go talk to them.”

E. Adult Parental Divorce (94:06–99:56)

• Situation: Caller, an only child, struggles as parents divorce at age 27.
• Panel's Take:
  • It’s not about you; don’t get involved. Focus on your new relationship with each parent and avoid being mediator.
  • Quote (95:57, Stavi): “If you let this affect you, there’s something wrong...it’s nostalgia. This is better for everybody.”

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6. Dieting, Ozempic/Zepbound, and Food Addiction (117:44–124:53)

• Semaglutide Tips: Caller gives clinical advice about injection site for weight loss drug—“stick closer to the belly button.”
• Admittance of Food Addiction: Panel gets honest about how food is their true vice and comfort, regardless of diet hack.
  • Quote (122:58, Stavi): “I’m doing a lot of stuff pretty well...except every once in a while, I throw 3,000 calories down my gullet.”
• Food Guilt: Hilarious confessions about scarfing English muffins alone at night, and how even protein bars get wolfed down like candy.
  • Quote (124:00, Elvis): “It’s not like I eat a box of English muffins...wait a minute—no, I just can’t stop.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• On College Knowledge Loss:
  • “Once I started comedy for real, I was like, alright, this is where my brain is going… I cannibalized all my knowledge to be better at comedy.” (03:26, Stavi)
• On Children’s Theater Mishap:
  • “His house burned down. 200 kids just gasped.” (11:09, Elvis)
• Defending Airport Traditions:
  • “I’m not white trash that won the lottery, which I guess is what you are.” (21:20, Stavi)
• Debating Plane Exit Etiquette:
  • “You're standing there for pure anxiety. It's also this weird, ‘I have to get off first.’” (36:34, Stavi)
• On Listener’s Group-Sex Baby Dilemma:
  • “You decided your wife is a group project.” (70:29, Stavi)

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Memorable Moments and Tone

• Raucous laughter about terrible theater costumes, disastrous children’s plays, and their “fat conversations” around celebrities.
• Self-aware, anti-elitist pride in white trash traditions: the conversion van, airport steakhouse breakfast, and the joys of Coke Freestyle machines.
• Brutally honest yet compassionate listener advice—"you gotta have the tough conversation" or "don't bring up embarrassing hookups unless you have to."
• Banter bordering on the absurd—physical comedy, playful insults ("You're too fat for the window seat"), and gleeful confessionals about failed diets or car mishaps.
• Endearing humility and solidarity about weight struggles and addiction—mixed with genuine practical tips from the audience.

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Episode Timeline / Timestamps

| Time | Segment / Highlight | |--------------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:10–05:40 | Academic pasts, intellectual decline, comedy vs. college smarts | | 06:00–14:00 | Tales of trashy theater, performing arts, and cultural divides | | 15:54–42:00 | Airport routines, soda machines, and the ethics of second breakfasts | | 32:25–65:10 | Plane/seat etiquette, road trips, conversion van stories | | 68:01–80:04 | Polyamory & paternity listener call | | 86:41–93:14 | Nazi tattoo artist dilemma & advice | | 94:06–99:56 | Adult children of divorce advice | | 100:13–108:46| Pre-relationship hookups guilt | | 110:42–117:39| Dog attacks & cop neighbor dilemma | | 117:44–124:53| Weight loss medication advice & food addiction confessions |

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Closing

The episode encapsulates the “Are You Garbage?” ethos: pride in humble roots, roast-your-friends camaraderie, and a willingness to talk openly about shame, addiction, and real life messiness. Mixing wild storytelling with sincere listener problem-solving, it's a hilarious, chaotic, and oddly heartwarming hang.

Upcoming:

• Are You Garbage live at the Met in Philly: Dec 13
• Stavros at the Wilbur in Boston: same week (Dec 13)

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“I just have to say, what makes everyone happy is 20 boxes of pizza in the corner of a room, even at the Venice Film Festival.”
—Stavi (44:41)

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A must-listen for longtime fans and anyone who loves a bit of trash with their comedy.

Transcript

[Stavi]

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[Eldest]

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[Stavi]

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[Eldest]

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[Stavi]

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[Eldest]

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[Stavi]

Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-stuff. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. What a beautiful day. We have our boys. Are you garbage back on the couch?

[Eldest]

Shout out to it, dude.

[Elvis]

I like how the intro music's now on a boombox. Yeah.

[Stavi]

You're in our temporary Manhattan studios here in the NYU Tisch School.

[Elvis]

Nice joint.

[Stavi]

Yeah, Real nice joint. Wild Elvis is now a adjunct professor.

[Eldest]

This is podcast production. This is on campus. Yeah. This is so crazy.

[Stavi]

We're right next to the dean's office.

[Eldest]

Dude. We walked in the building, the guy was like. I was like, what the are you looking? We're here to fix the air conditioning.

[Ryan D]

I wonder what they think when I come in. I come in like every single day and I'm like going to stop probably thinking GI Bill.

[Elvis]

They see you coming through the door for gpa. Hanging in there.

[Stavi]

How dare you. I'll just. A strong 3.4.

[Eldest]

That's good.

[Stavi]

English major.

[Ryan D]

No, I was better than that. I think I was a 3.6. At least not brag.

[Elvis]

You finished college.

[Eldest]

36 is great.

[Ryan D]

I did finish college. I had a real bad year sophomore year. I was like super depressed. I failed a Shakespeare class. That didn't feel good. That should be like.

[Eldest]

And that made you depressed.

[Ryan D]

No, that was kind of.

[Elvis]

Because stupid Twelfth Night.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Ryan D]

Reading Shakespeare didn't help the depression.

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Ryan D]

But you know. Yeah, I was good in school. I was out.

[Stavi]

Yeah. You're talking to a couple good students here, fellas.

[Elvis]

Yeah, you too.

[Stavi]

I was. Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Eldest]

You're quite. You're quite intellectual.

[Elvis]

Intellectual. Yeah.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I mean, dude, you guys are so stupid.

[Eldest]

I had a 2. 5 at Temple University, 249.

[Stavi]

I round up.

[Elvis]

I resent that comment.

[Stavi]

Yeah. The number one idiot thing, thinking putting glasses on makes you smart.

[Elvis]

Go for a bit.

[Eldest]

When I first. When I. You started. First came to the city. I didn't, obviously, you know, you're brand new, and you were hanging out with Bobby a lot, and you'd be on ykwd, and I'd be like, this guy is a genius. I was like, dude, he knows about everything.

[Elvis]

He was missing a tooth.

[Eldest]

I know.

[Stavi]

Later. The missing tooth came later.

[Eldest]

But then. Then you really fell apart at the seams. And I was like, all right, maybe. Maybe this guy doesn't have it all together.

[Stavi]

I was running on. I was running on fumes. There was like. The way I say it is like, I stop. Once I started comedy for real, I was like, all right, this is where my brain is going.

[Eldest]

Yeah. And everything else just. It has to break down to zero.

[Stavi]

It's. That's 100. I've cannibalized all my knowledge to just be a little better at comedy like this. Pathetic to be able to do podcasts. And so right when I moved was the tail end of, like, my inherited knowledge from when I was in college. And. And then it was just, you know, 25. The year 25 to 26, and then 26 to 27. I was a idiot. It was Flowers for Algernon, basically, where I just became a idiot all over again.

[Elvis]

That's a geisha or something like that. I have.

[Stavi]

Sorry. It's a literary reference. It does work. Guys.

[Elvis]

I read Atlas Shrugged.

[Stavi]

I felt stupid immediately. I mean, that's hysterical. Atlas Shrugged?

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

That's the one book you've read?

[Eldest]

No, he didn't read it. I got to call him out. He didn't read. He read. You might have read.

[Elvis]

I read most of it.

[Stavi]

How did you feel about Atlas Shrugged?

[Elvis]

I thought it was cool.

[Eldest]

Those wizards were weird.

[Elvis]

I have about five minutes on pretty much, like, any arena. I got about five minutes where I can sound smart. I went to dude.

[Eldest]

I mean, you know, you make me.

[Stavi]

You come. I do.

[Elvis]

I do make me.

[Eldest]

This is why people think I'm an cuz.

[Elvis]

I can't topic.

[Eldest]

What. Atlas Shrug, the book you said you read.

[Elvis]

It's about a guy named Henry Reardon. It's really an intellectual piece.

[Eldest]

All right, he's vamping already. Second line.

[Stavi]

Oh, it's an intellectual piece, huh?

[Elvis]

Folks, we'll be right back. I went to a wedding one time, and somehow I got sat next to, I swear to God, a NASA scientist, this older guy. And I don't know, I had literally just the right amount. I had like two and a half beers in me. I had them out a couple of bacon wraps, wrapped scallops. And I had a five minute conversation with this guy and he went to my parents afterwards. He's like, you know, your son is very intelligent. I saw that shit on ancient aliens last night.

[Eldest]

Your hair is all fucked up.

[Stavi]

Oh, that's fucking awesome.

[Elvis]

Did we go to the moon?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Or maybe not like some ancient astronauts theorists project. I got sounds very intelligent.

[Eldest]

I got nothing in the tank to talk to anybody about. I'll just ask questions to sound engaged. I feel like if I get a couple good questions, you know, how's that happen?

[Stavi]

Ask a clarifying question. They tell you something like, so that's actually. So what. What is that? How does that implicate the other thing? You just have to kind of like, oh, yeah, within the conversation.

[Eldest]

Within the five words you got. You got to bridge two of them.

[Stavi]

Absolutely.

[Elvis]

Hit them with. Are you happy in your work?

[Stavi]

Oh, that's. That's always smart.

[Elvis]

Fake chicken wraps. Hang on one second.

[Stavi]

And do you find that fulfilling? That's good. Because you make them be introspective.

[Elvis]

Yes.

[Stavi]

Now, now it's not about facts. Now it's about emotions. Now we've entered the. The artists arena.

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Stavi]

And I know you at that wedding felt that way. You were a thespian, I'm sure.

[Elvis]

Sure. I can hit. I can do a. I got like one or two half Shakespeare monologues in me. I got two or three. I got like a. Like an E. Cummings quote. I can hit you something from the beginning of the Love Song of Jail for proof rock by T.S. elliott from Dante's Inferno. After that, it's all Phillies.

[Eldest]

The end of Home Alone.

[Elvis]

That's my granddaughter up there.

[Stavi]

Oh, that's interesting. That reminds me of the end of Aladdin when he says, when he sets the genie free.

[Elvis]

Jafar was really a tortured individual.

[Stavi]

Do you have a FA Now? Do you have a favorite production you were in? Fully any kind. Because now we're talking Shakespeare. Did you ever talk about, like, back then? Sure.

[Elvis]

Just currently.

[Stavi]

Not currently. At any point, at any point in your acting career before. Before we got you to, you know.

[Eldest]

A little bit of mustard on it?

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Elvis]

By the way, we never talked about this. Do you remember the conversation? Me, you, and who the else was sitting there when Thomas Hayden Church was sitting in The. In the office of tires.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

We were having the fattest conversation.

[Stavi]

We really were. It was me and you and Tom's Ain't judge just trapped between us. And we're talking about like how we like order. Yeah. How we like to like bacon cheeseburgers. Like we were having a. How do you get your money's worth?

[Eldest]

How do you get extra bacon for free?

[Stavi]

Level conversation with just a great actor.

[Elvis]

That's what you do.

[Stavi]

And he was like. And he's like trying to be polite. You could tell in his heart what he wants to say is, shut the up, you fat.

[Elvis]

I think I said something like. You feel like you're right back in Hollywood, huh?

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I don't remember, but it really was a wildly fat conversation. Like we should have been ashamed to be having it alone.

[Elvis]

I know.

[Eldest]

Let alone on set in front of the world renowned actor.

[Elvis]

He's gorgeous, by the way.

[Stavi]

He's a good looking guy.

[Elvis]

Good looking dude.

[Stavi]

Great actor too. All his scenes came out great.

[Elvis]

Yeah, he was awesome, man. He's awesome.

[Stavi]

He was fun to work with. But yeah, I did feel bad for him.

[Elvis]

I only did one actual production of 12 of. Of Shakespeare. I did Twelfth Night at the Hedro Theater.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Elvis]

And I played one of the cops.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Elvis]

And I remember that like none of us knew what the. Like you said you studied Shakespeare. That's. First of all, that's one of those things that there's maybe, I don't know, 2,000 people in the world that should be allowed to perform that in front of other people. Theoretically, Shakespeare, yes, for sure. And I mean, I'm real stupid. But you can't even understand what the fuck that guy saying unless somebody breaks.

[Eldest]

The fuck are you talking about, dude?

[Elvis]

That's your mother, you sick fuck. Unless you have someone that can break it down. So we had to have. They hired some guy.

[Stavi]

They hired a Philly trash translator.

[Eldest]

Delco. By the way, this isn't at the Miller Theater. This is like YMCA level do show.

[Elvis]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Eldest]

He gets so mad with. I literally all I have to say is ymca.

[Elvis]

He gets so mad. Very, very good theater. Very smart people. I just happen to be an idiot. And they had to like bring somebody in to like explain. Like, I don't understand the language. It's an old English, you know what I mean? And not the good one.

[Eldest]

You know, Struggle with new English too.

[Elvis]

Yeah, I like Twelfth Night, you know.

[Stavi]

Doesn'T have to be Shakespeare, just any production.

[Elvis]

I did Biloxi Blues. That was great.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Elvis]

Yeah, that was fun.

[Stavi]

What was your role in Biloxi Wowski.

[Elvis]

Or whatever his name was.

[Eldest]

The.

[Elvis]

The, like, the mean, racist Polish guy.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Elvis]

Yeah, that was cool.

[Stavi]

I'm not familiar. That sounds good.

[Elvis]

Did Winnie the Pooh.

[Stavi]

A little speed.

[Eldest]

I'm more of an Eeyore. Man, this is fun.

[Elvis]

I was a. I didn't.

[Eldest]

No, this was.

[Elvis]

This was children's theater. We had to do children's theater every Saturday. And they packed this place out.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that was probably the best.

[Elvis]

Dude, it was awesome.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

And me and my roommate smoking a lot of weed at the time. A couple other things we were doing.

[Eldest]

To be hanging around the children on Saturdays.

[Elvis]

We were.

[Eldest]

We were all coming off a bender dressed as a.

[Elvis]

Shut up.

[Eldest]

Why?

[Stavi]

Oh, eldest. Just decided to check the frame.

[Elvis]

There we go.

[Stavi]

We've been recording 10 minutes. It dawned on him. He should maybe.

[Elvis]

God, your goddamn movie started.

[Eldest]

Get away with that.

[Elvis]

Soderbergh's directing this.

[Ryan D]

That's right.

[Stavi]

That's right.

[Elvis]

The whole thing. From the floor.

[Stavi]

Oh, he's doing a little adjustment. That's not a good sign.

[Eldest]

Big man's walking the boards up here. He's scooching closer and closer to me.

[Elvis]

We did what we were. We were doing Winnie the Pooh. I think I've told you this. Kevin and me and my roommate are, like, doing a scene back and forth. And I come out and I'm like, what happened to Piglet's house? And I'm talk. 150 kids and their parents packed in. They're hanging on every word.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Elvis]

And the line's supposed to be, piglet's house blew down. And my roommate goes. I'll go, what happened to Piglet? And he's like, his house burned down. Burned down and 200 kids.

[Stavi]

Brutal. He's base. Smell that?

[Elvis]

He's bacon cooking them low and slow.

[Stavi]

They wrapped him in a crescent roll. He's a pig in the blank. He's a Piglet in the blank. Now.

[Elvis]

Did you study any acting before?

[Eldest]

I pictured. I pictured that scene from Blades's Glory or whatever when Will Ferrell's doing, like, the Disney on Ice and he's in the helmet. That's how I pick all up.

[Stavi]

Yeah. What was the. The costume setup?

[Elvis]

It was like, gray sweatpants.

[Eldest]

You got a boner.

[Stavi]

You're flopping Grace. Wet plant and face paint, I guess. Or would you have a little bit.

[Elvis]

Of face paint and then set of ears or something?

[Stavi]

It's bad. And. And that was children's theater on top of regular production.

[Elvis]

Like, yeah, we did that every Saturday.

[Stavi]

During the week, you would do, you know, Biloxi.

[Elvis]

If we were in. If we were in. Whatever. So the way it worked is we lived at the. The farmhouse that they had. We studied every day with different directors and all that kind of stuff. Do, like, scene study class, moving classes and all that stuff. And then as you got in there, you would, like, start out, like, whatever the season was, because they were on, like, the Philadelphia theater circuit. So you would, like, I do the lights, and one kid would be working as a stagehand. And then when the next production came, we would get to audition for that. And if somebody would get a part in that and somebody, you know, wouldn't or whatever, then you just. You do everything.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elvis]

And then eventually they did one for basically our class because we had, like, you know, like six or seven young guys. So we did Biloxi Blues. So we have, like, our run at some point.

[Stavi]

Gotcha.

[Elvis]

During the time that we were there, remember, we did that Winnie the Pooh at a. At, like, an inner city camp for kids that, like, got to go out to the.

[Eldest]

You fatty. Yo.

[Elvis]

And we had to use. Was outside. We had to do microphones. It was August in, like, somewhere in, like, Delaware county, like.

[Stavi]

Yeah, Hot.

[Elvis]

As we were in the field, basically. And the kid to play Winnie the Pooh was this big black dude, and his costume was terrible. Like, his was coming undone. And we're going around with a cordless microphone. It was like, Maury, it was bad news.

[Stavi]

That's beautiful. The. It's so beautiful. The arts are so beautiful.

[Elvis]

The arts are beautiful.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

I don't. Dude, I'm so. I come from, like, such. Just not. You know, I don't. I don't understand Broadway. Like, I go see plays.

[Stavi]

You don't understand. Just.

[Eldest]

It's like. So I'm like, let's just go watch the movie. It's so awesome. It's crazy. I'm like, I see the guy behind the thing, like, what are we doing? Why are we all acting like this is good?

[Stavi]

So you think the movie's real?

[Eldest]

I think the movie's better. I don't think it's real. I also. I mean, you know what I mean? I don't see the green screen. Right.

[Elvis]

You know?

[Stavi]

Right, right.

[Elvis]

I didn't get the Lion King with that dude.

[Eldest]

I went for the Lion King. And I'm like, this is. I'm looking at the guy behind the costume.

[Stavi]

Right. It's pissing you off.

[Eldest]

Yeah, I got hit with a bird.

[Stavi]

Oh, you got hit in the head by A bird.

[Eldest]

Not a fan.

[Stavi]

Who did you take to Broadway?

[Eldest]

I went with my wife, my brother, my sister, my. And like they have my sister, brother in law, and nieces and nephews. So it was like a family outage.

[Elvis]

Your mother in law go, did my mother.

[Eldest]

No, he's got a thing for my mother in law. He met my mother in law very recently and is like wildly obsessed. And now he'll just keep giving me scenarios where he's my father in law and would I be okay with that?

[Elvis]

Straight to boarding school.

[Eldest]

They're not even creative. He's like, let's say I came home and it was in the morning. I'm like, no. And he's like, what if it was the afternoon?

[Stavi]

What is it? What is the draws you to. To Kevin's mother in law?

[Elvis]

Well, listen, first of all, it's not this disrespect show.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elvis]

It's a family diner, of course. Just. Yeah, very beautiful. Very, you know, tall and slender. She looks like an old European model. And we had a, you know, bit of chemistry.

[Eldest]

Hugged her five times in 13.

[Stavi]

You guys are probably the same age, I would guess too.

[Elvis]

Spring chicken here.

[Stavi]

Yeah, there's no way. Yeah, there's no way. I don't care how much older like a slender European woman is than you. You're not outliving her. You know what I mean?

[Elvis]

No, not at all.

[Eldest]

She's been doing yoga every day for like 45 years.

[Elvis]

We got the antibiotics and over here. That ain't my fault. Cut back on that yellow number five. You ever see a Fanta in Europe? It's like cola color over here. They're pumping all that orange.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's the big difference.

[Eldest]

That's your problem.

[Elvis]

Yeah, the Fanta. I do like an orange.

[Eldest]

You got a yellow number five problem.

[Elvis]

What's your go to soda if you do fast food?

[Stavi]

What are you getting if I do fast food? I mean, I've just become a diet soda guy.

[Elvis]

No shit.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

What's a DC man? You Coke Zero guy. What are you doing?

[Stavi]

I prefer Coke Zero. Now, if I'm going to a fast food place, usually the most exotic diet option you might come across as Diet Dr. Pepper.

[Eldest]

Yes, a DDP.

[Stavi]

And so that is my number one go to. Oftentimes you settle for a Diet Coke.

[Eldest]

Yeah, but I don't Diet Coke. There's nothing.

[Elvis]

I used to push back on those, those Coca Cola magic machines, you know I'm talking about.

[Stavi]

Oh, I love touch screens.

[Elvis]

Oh, man, I used to feel right. I used to push back. But when you hit that Diet Dr. Pepper button, it comes up with a. You feel. I feel like I'm on the spaceship.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Vanilla, a little bit of cream soda.

[Elvis]

A little bit of cherry, a little bit of strawberry. Get it all in there.

[Stavi]

I like, I'm with that. And I don't give a. I'm that. Maybe that's why, because I'm a. I'm a diet soda guy. You, you are so restrained in most circumstances that with the Coke freestyle machine, you can really go crazy.

[Eldest]

I feel like Thomas Hayden Church right now.

[Stavi]

Is it Coke freestyle?

[Elvis]

Is that what it's called? That's awesome.

[Stavi]

It's the Coke freestyle machine. I love. I. I like to get. That's my canvas. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a fucking artist. My fucking large fountain. That's, you know, that's a work of art.

[Elvis]

And I tell you what, no matter where you go, the ice in that thing is the same and it's the best ice.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And I've heard crushed ice. Crushed ice is good. And I've heard some negatives where it's like, look, you're. You still have the leftover whatever the last guy got.

[Elvis]

Yeah, no shit. That's what I'm going for.

[Stavi]

You like that?

[Elvis]

Yeah, I want a little. I'm on chip a little bit. Yeah. Like I rub it in my gums.

[Stavi]

I think that could be easily. You just hit it with a little water before.

[Eldest]

I don't disagree. I just. I like each individual spout. I like that there's. All the lines aren't the same. I'm very. I'm old school Janice. I like the original.

[Stavi]

And you're a Coke guy.

[Eldest]

I would guess I'm a Diet Coke. I mean, yeah, it was Coke, but I'm. I'm Diet Coke and I'm Even get. I'm getting off the diet Cokes.

[Elvis]

But Pepsi every once in a while ain't bad when you go out.

[Eldest]

I was doing like. I was doing like seven a day, easy.

[Elvis]

Oh wow.

[Eldest]

Easy seven. It's too many diet.

[Stavi]

I. I will treat myself to a good night diet soda. That's why I've gotten into. I've very much gotten into crosses his legs.

[Ryan D]

Yes.

[Stavi]

I will do caffeine free diet soda. So I'm all over the place. Right.

[Eldest]

Is that the gold one?

[Stavi]

The gold one?

[Eldest]

That's for grandparents, dude.

[Stavi]

That's wild.

[Elvis]

You know what's for grandparents? Diet root beer. Cuz root beer has no caffeine in it.

[Stavi]

I'm a big diet root Beer guy.

[Elvis]

My dad was huge on it.

[Stavi]

Diet Sprite. Also there's. Now there's a holiday. There's a cranberry Sprite.

[Elvis]

Spiced flavored sprinkles, a cream. You know what's nice around the house?

[Stavi]

Ginger. The ginger ale with a touch of cranberry.

[Elvis]

Come on, open the presents. Sing some Christmas carols.

[Stavi]

I'm with you. I'm with you, man.

[Elvis]

Yeah, a little touch.

[Stavi]

And then if I need to have a little caffeine, I'm going Wild Cherry. I'll the craziest will get a diet. Diet Pepsi. The only time I'm dipping my toes in the Pepsi pool is if I go Wild Cherry doctor or Diet Pepsi.

[Elvis]

While chewies were talking about that downstairs, you got a sixer sitting on the counter.

[Stavi]

That's right.

[Elvis]

Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. Zero sugar.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Caller 1]

Which.

[Elvis]

I don't know what the difference is between the diet and the zero sugar, but they got something going on.

[Eldest]

It's the chemical.

[Stavi]

A different formulation.

[Elvis]

Is it.

[Eldest]

It's the. Not a. What's the one that gives you a cancer?

[Stavi]

Wow. They all probably do.

[Eldest]

I mean the one that's like they, that's like the reason.

[Stavi]

I don't think any of them actually give you cancer, by the way.

[Eldest]

I think those studies, those poor mice.

[Stavi]

Well, what happens is they give them like the amount that would be found in 50, 000 diet sodas.

[Elvis]

Wouldn't we all be.

[Eldest]

I'm getting close to that.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

What do we have all dropped dead by now if it was that bad for you.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And. And sure and famously American health is only going up and up.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

We have. We haven't gotten worse off.

[Elvis]

Take that commies. There we go. There we go.

[Eldest]

I'll do a dial up model. One of my favorite indulgences is doing a Diet Coke at a diner. For break.

[Stavi]

Diet Coke for breakfast, Diet Coke for.

[Eldest]

I get a black coffee, a water if we're on the road. Black coffee, water, Diet Coke.

[Elvis]

We. Where did we catch a screamer? Oh, it was that. It was at jfk, at the Palm when we. When we flew after the last tour.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Do you eat at the airport?

[Stavi]

No.

[Eldest]

Really?

[Elvis]

You don't? We go there early. You don't get.

[Stavi]

We get to the airport early to have breakfast.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Are you at early?

[Eldest]

We get there early. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

To have breakfast at a overpriced shitty restaurant.

[Eldest]

Yeah. If we're flying out of jfk, we're hitting that Palm. You go to the time every day.

[Stavi]

You guys are.

[Eldest]

That's like what are you guys doing.

[Stavi]

I mean, that's.

[Eldest]

Our flight's not for three hours.

[Stavi]

That's insane.

[Eldest]

No, it's not.

[Stavi]

You plan to eat at the.

[Elvis]

What do you do?

[Stavi]

I have breakfast at my home.

[Eldest]

That stinks.

[Stavi]

And no, it's. It's a better quality. It's ch. I mean, those breakfasts are probably costing you, what, $40?

[Eldest]

You act like we're good with money.

[Stavi]

But it's not even good.

[Elvis]

You.

[Stavi]

I've gotten microwaved eggs. I. Oh, my God.

[Eldest]

You sit here and talk about holiday and express. The Palms, a good restaurant.

[Stavi]

Good restaurant?

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

The Palmer JFK is a good restaurant. It's fun. You go back there, they have the same kitchen. They have the same kitchen as the Chili's to go. It's all connected in one place.

[Elvis]

Nah, it's good.

[Eldest]

It's good.

[Stavi]

The Palm Steakhouse.

[Elvis]

The Palm Steakhouse.

[Stavi]

I mean, I've never eaten at a steakhouse in a airport because. Yeah. I mean, I'm not white trash that won the lottery, which I guess is what you are.

[Eldest]

Have you seen the show? What are you talking about? We just hit the world's biggest scratch.

[Elvis]

We're here.

[Stavi]

Still be doing okay. Do it once.

[Eldest]

I feel.

[Elvis]

We take all the boys, we all sit down, get the American breakfast.

[Stavi]

Sometimes crazy. Go to a real restaurant.

[Elvis]

They don't have them in the airport.

[Eldest]

First of all, you live in New York City.

[Stavi]

Take the guys to a dinner the night before you.

[Elvis]

We do that, too.

[Eldest]

Can I make it? How many? Let's. Can you look up the Palm for me? Give me a few. The Palm is a good restaurant.

[Stavi]

Not the one at the airport.

[Elvis]

I'm not the same.

[Stavi]

No, it's not.

[Eldest]

They help the idiots to a corporate.

[Stavi]

They really don't. You guys are so stupid. I promise you, whatever it is, they're all franchise. Whatever it is.

[Eldest]

Look, it started as a bit, but I'm getting mad about this.

[Stavi]

Is it better than chilies?

[Eldest]

Yes. Yes.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I. Yes. But everything.

[Eldest]

First of all, what's wrong with chili?

[Stavi]

The airport. I mean, again, we've eaten at Airport Chili's plenty of times, but everything at the airport is like three steps less than it is outside.

[Eldest]

I know. So we've acclimated to go, like, okay, I realize it's all bad, but this is good for being bad.

[Stavi]

And what I'm saying, you. Someone's got a gun to your head and says, you have to have breakfast at the airport or I'll kill you. No one is doing that. You can have breakfast at a diner here. It'll be better.

[Elvis]

Well here's the. Here's.

[Eldest]

I know but we're not going to go to the we're not going to go to meet at a diner at Midtown. They'd all go to jfk.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I guess that's why you just get on the flight.

[Elvis]

I'm drinking out of his Stanley mug judging us.

[Stavi]

It's a hydro flask, thank you very much.

[Elvis]

And it's root beer.

[Stavi]

Yeah, it's a root beer float.

[Elvis]

Here's just just at a glance on.

[Ryan D]

Google the Palm the Google rating is 3.1. The one that yell on Yelp. It has a 2.3.

[Eldest]

Come on.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I mean the if okay listen. If it happened once if you guys got there, you're like oh we got there early. You plan to do.

[Eldest]

Oh yeah, we all love it.

[Elvis]

It's flights at nine, we get there at seven.

[Eldest]

We zip there two hours early. Yeah, okay.

[Stavi]

That is pissing me the why sleep an extra hour? What are you talking.

[Eldest]

You gotta get the screen.

[Stavi]

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[Elvis]

I don't care.

[Stavi]

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[Elvis]

Here's the real problem. Him and I'll have breakfast. We'll get on a plane if it's a longer flight, and all of a sudden, they walk up and hand us that in flight menu, of course. And we both have to look at each other like, I've been off.

[Eldest]

I've been off it. I'm off it.

[Stavi]

That is the sign that your life is going. Is going good. When you can say no to a second breakfast.

[Eldest]

A second breakfast in 90 minutes?

[Stavi]

Yeah, absolutely, Abs. I'm not even kidding that because there's. Once you're in the. In the sky, it doesn't feel like you're in real life.

[Eldest]

Well, I do. The one time I rationalized was I'm like, I put my bag up. Like, I was like, that's work. I've earned another breakfast.

[Elvis]

That's in a vacuum.

[Stavi]

Yeah, it's in a vacuum. It doesn't. Everything in the. In the sky, dude, when you can say no, let's say you say no, the breakfast. And then at the end of the flight, you say no to the cookie.

[Eldest]

That's great.

[Stavi]

I mean, then you're Gandhi.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You're off the cookie.

[Elvis]

I'm off.

[Eldest]

I'm off to snack.

[Stavi]

My eyes say otherwise. Henry.

[Eldest]

I did see him.

[Elvis]

What? You get a new prescription. Huh? This guy can see the future.

[Stavi]

You're off the cookie, but you'll just have a whole omelet.

[Elvis]

Yeah, we had. We had Italian beef last time with french fries, which was strange, but we did it.

[Stavi]

How did the fries hold up in the sky?

[Elvis]

Not great. You had no. I Had polenta. You had potatoes or something like that.

[Eldest]

I don't. Did I. I don't remember eating.

[Elvis]

Honestly, I was watching it the whole time.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I just. I can't. I just value sleep so much more.

[Eldest]

Yeah, we don't. We're not asleep and crew really, we're up early. We're all. It's really weird. We all get there early. Like if. So let's say the flight's at nine. We'll do a. JFK calls at seven. Yeah, Check bags. Takes two minutes, but we go, I gotta check the bag.

[Stavi]

I'll give you that. Whatever. When we check bags, we get there earlier.

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah. So we get there at 7 and everybody will be 15 minutes early.

[Stavi]

So like we get through it and.

[Eldest]

We got proper two hours of chill. Everybody likes to do their own thing. Somebody, you know, some people go hit the weed pen in the bathroom for 15 minutes. Some people go like, go buy snacks, whatever it is. And we all meet back. It's very, Let me. Very, very family.

[Stavi]

Here's. Here's the thing though. You guys act like you're going on vacation. You're going to drink.

[Eldest]

It's a night. We don't flight to Cleveland.

[Stavi]

You're going to work.

[Elvis]

We don't drink. Yeah, we don't drink. We don't drink.

[Eldest]

We do have a. No drink.

[Stavi]

You we took on the way home. This is 30 weekends a year of your life. You're a tour. You're touring comedians. It can't be a little treat every.

[Elvis]

Time you're 15 and we co headline.

[Stavi]

Anyway, whatever.

[Eldest]

You know what?

[Stavi]

Fuck, let me paint a picture.

[Elvis]

Let me paint a picture for you. All right, let's say you're doing. You're doing two shows in Chicago. You guys fly in, you do the show on a Thursday, you wake up in a hotel Friday morning, you two aren't texting each other around 8, 8:30. Are you feeling about a little breakfast.

[Stavi]

When we're there in the same city, in the same hotel? Yes.

[Elvis]

Okay.

[Stavi]

Not the night before in my home. Where are we gonna eat? At LaGuardia?

[Eldest]

No, you go to Bubbies, you go to Bubbles. Listen, God, hit me. Where's my, where's my, where's my. Down the barrel. That new, that new thing in the new wing, the Delta Win or whatever. Yeah, Bubbles.

[Stavi]

Bubbies.

[Elvis]

Yeah, Bubbies. Nice joint. Like family.

[Eldest]

The good thing about there is you sit down in the mid. It's in the middle. It's a little. If the vibes feel off because you're like in the middle of the terminal. But you sit there, you order on your phone, which in the airport I don't like. But you gotta order on your phone, you gotta pay the phone around to five, six people. They all order. But the staff there will come out and like. Re. Like, if you want a refill or another Diet Coke. Yeah, she'll just get it for you. She takes care, you know what I mean? You don't have to order through the phone again.

[Stavi]

You guys are hilarious, man. About how nice the Bubbies at LaGuardia is.

[Eldest]

It's great, dude. It's brand new. It's. I love.

[Elvis]

I don't know where to get a real restaurant.

[Eldest]

That's a real restaurant. They got one down, they got one downtown. That's a New York restaurant. At the end of the day. Listen, I'm telling me, Jay, JFK is in LaGuardia. Are in New York City as a whole. They are better than most restaurants around the world.

[Elvis]

I'm gonna tell you.

[Eldest]

Yeah, they gotta be. They gotta be. This is New York City, the city that never sleeps.

[Elvis]

I'm gonna tell you something. Sacramento airport, at the Chipotle, get the oysters Rockefeller. You will thank me in the morning. You don't need Zeppelin.

[Eldest]

Remember that one time we had to do Psycho Changs in the morning?

[Stavi]

I forget where that one had to.

[Elvis]

Chinese in the morning.

[Eldest]

Chinese eggs.

[Elvis]

How you doing?

[Stavi]

And what does that menu look like?

[Elvis]

It's the same. We all at Orange Chicken.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Do the orange chicken omelette.

[Stavi]

I do. I mean, don't get me wrong. When I am. When my life is in shambles, I.

[Eldest]

We're not killing it over here.

[Stavi]

I love when I wait when I'm like, well, I have to get breakfast. And then it's like, you know, airport time is different because they serve. Serve breakfast from like 5am to 9:30.

[Eldest]

I want to push back. They should serve till at least 11 because you're getting there early. It's like I. I'm not ready for, you know, you know, noodles at, at.

[Stavi]

10Am But I will say when I am like, you know, when I'm just being a real slutty boy. And it's. I'm there at 10:15. I'm like, oh, I. I guess I have to get a cheesesteak.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean? Instead of eggs.

[Eldest]

Because you like, I'll get it. Well, they're done.

[Stavi]

Also, by the way, something. Another fat thought.

[Eldest]

I'll do the beef Wellington.

[Stavi]

Breakfast is always healthy. Yeah, that's one of the fattest thoughts there is. That breakfast is always, always healthy, no matter what you get.

[Elvis]

I really.

[Eldest]

I'm not gonna push back on that. It's the best way. You got to start the day, you know, it's the most important meal.

[Elvis]

Every time I. Every time I go to order breakfast, you know, the home fries. I'm not getting the home fries. And toast. I'm not getting the home fries and toast. I'll do sourdough and roasted potatoes, please.

[Stavi]

Yeah, but no home fries.

[Elvis]

No.

[Stavi]

That's what I'm saying, though. You can convince yourself. Home fries. It's potato.

[Elvis]

Yes.

[Eldest]

A little bit. I'll do a little bit of them.

[Stavi]

They don't deep fry it.

[Eldest]

They put it on the skillet omelettes. Like 4,200 calories.

[Elvis]

Sourdough, they say, is really good for you.

[Eldest]

Yeah, dude. This guy. This guy lives in one thing. He heard, and then it just sticks.

[Stavi]

Yeah, but a piece of toast, bread, two scrambled eggs. Two eggs and a. And a breakfast meat in your head, you're like, well, that's healthy.

[Elvis]

Chicken sausage.

[Eldest]

I'm getting ready to fly. I need my strength. You know what I mean?

[Elvis]

What if something happens?

[Eldest]

I'm getting ready to have my second breakfast.

[Elvis]

What if something happens?

[Stavi]

Right? What if we have to deplane? What if I have to open the things.

[Eldest]

He's going to stop somebody.

[Elvis]

Yeah. I gotta have my protein in me.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

And I'm gonna have to get out of the way because he's crammed into the window.

[Stavi]

Oh, you're a window guy.

[Elvis]

I love the window.

[Eldest]

I'm an aisle man.

[Stavi]

That's. You're too fat to be a window.

[Elvis]

No, I love the window.

[Eldest]

Sits next to me, though.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Elvis]

He pees like.

[Eldest]

He pees like Diet Coke in the morning.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I'm an owl guy, too. I think it's a fat man. Aisle is the way to go.

[Eldest]

Yeah. I like getting up. I like stretching the legs. I like, I think a little extra thigh space.

[Elvis]

But the aisle, if it's just like a, you know, if. If it's just like somewhat of a regular seat. I'm elbowing. I'm always getting hit. I'm always getting hit.

[Stavi]

That's. That's part of the hat. Is hazard. Hazard of the aisle. And being fat as.

[Elvis]

Yeah. Do you lift up the thing, the armrest on the aisle?

[Stavi]

If it pissed me off. They don't let some delays. Don't let you. If they do, I'll do it for sure.

[Elvis]

You can jimmy that underneath there.

[Stavi]

Some of the times you can't oh, we'll talk after. All right.

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elvis]

I got a little kit unfold like. Like a cat burglar.

[Stavi]

You're in there with a Phillips head.

[Elvis]

And we got an alle wrench on them. Trying to enjoy my third breakfast here at TSA Pre check, folks. Don't worry. I'll tell you where they. You let people lift up the arm on the side of the window. Then you can really get in there and snooze.

[Stavi]

I fully agree. What the is that?

[Elvis]

What's that gonna do? At least we're all dead anyway.

[Stavi]

Yeah. No, I agree. At least on the aisle. I can see the argument for we have to keep these animals penned in.

[Ryan D]

Sure.

[Stavi]

Because I would definitely abuse that.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I would definitely hang my fat half my fat stom would be in the aisle. So fine. I get it. But the window, you gotta let it. I felt one time a place let me the. It allowed me to lift up window. It was incredible.

[Elvis]

Yeah. Those. They lock. They lock those.

[Stavi]

So the kid.

[Elvis]

They're smart.

[Stavi]

So even the kit doesn't work.

[Elvis]

Doesn't work. You gotta really. I've used like a toenail clipper and got back there and like, loosened up the latch. That's what you got to do Houdini over here. And then sometimes they get you with the toenail clipper.

[Stavi]

Right. It they confiscated.

[Elvis]

Yeah. But if somebody made a move and I had that toenail clipper, they'd be pretty glad that I was there.

[Eldest]

I would like to get. I would like to get your take on this. This is a big beef with us. I'm an aisle man.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Eldest]

And we've never real. We've. This. This is like a real one. Like, we both don't like the way we act.

[Stavi]

Let's litigation.

[Eldest]

So we've never really, you know, as computer bags. We don't really.

[Elvis]

I don't know where you're going.

[Stavi]

I'm here to be an arbiter.

[Eldest]

So we'll land right. You know, we're in the front of the plane, of course. And I'll stand up right as I do stretch my legs. I'm in the aisle. That's my right.

[Stavi]

That's your right.

[Eldest]

It's my right. And then everybody else in the aisle kind of files in. So it gets tight. Everybody gets their bags down. He go. He'll be in there still in his seat. And I'll go get my bags back.

[Elvis]

Good.

[Eldest]

You have. You have your bag and you have your. Your resmed. The Top Gun mask.

[Stavi]

Of course. So it's two bags It's a light bag.

[Elvis]

Personal bag.

[Eldest]

No, your school bag and your carry on the medic.

[Stavi]

The medically excused.

[Elvis]

No, I know.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Elvis]

I haven't used my resmed bag in a long time because it ripped. I paid for another one and never showed up. Resume, by the way. What's up with that? You'll be hearing from my attorney, eldest bubby.

[Eldest]

He's red. Shakespeare.

[Elvis]

I got a 3.2 Shakespeare. You guys are done.

[Eldest]

Too soon or not too soon.

[Elvis]

Okay?

[Eldest]

And I. I'm just. And I get mad because I know he's gonna ask and I'm gonna have to go. No one else is. Where are you gonna put your bat? You're just taking up realization.

[Elvis]

I get out and I. Dude, I feel that pressure.

[Eldest]

See, that's what you don't like.

[Elvis]

I feel that pressure. I feel like everybody on every plane on the tarmac is like, come on, fat ass.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

You know what I mean?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

It takes me a second. I'm clicking the thing, I'm dragging it. Trying to get good eye contact with the flight attendant.

[Stavi]

Of course, of course, of course.

[Eldest]

It is kind of funny how he. Because I go, no, man. I'm like, I'm not gonna take. Because there's still people in the aisle who can't get their bags. Now I'm jamming up the thing with your bag.

[Stavi]

So here's. Here is what I would say, actually, I think I have a more extreme position than both of you, which is. I like that. I think the stand look, stand up, stretch your legs. I get that. Especially if you're a tall person. Stand up, stretch your legs, sit back down. I'm saying everyone's. Everyone's urgency. Sure. As soon as that bell rings, you hear the click, click, click, click. Everybody gets the up. Where the are you going?

[Eldest]

I get it.

[Stavi]

You're standing there for pure anxiety. It's just anxiety. It's also this weird. Like, I have to get off first. Like, now. If you have a connection you have to make, fine. I'll excuse that. But if you're just. If you've reached your destination.

[Eldest]

I've reached my destination.

[Stavi]

And you get up and meet the Palm dude. Stay up there. Yeah. You have to have breakfast. Arrival breakfast.

[Elvis]

It's got a reservation.

[Stavi]

I think the move is wait. Wait until people start leaving. I sit. I don't even think about my bag. And I'll even go further. I'll let a couple aisles behind me go.

[Eldest]

That's crazy.

[Stavi]

Why not? What did you just say that you. That you are worried about People be like, hey, fat. Because there's gonna be.

[Eldest]

There's usually me.

[Elvis]

I like how you whispered, hey, fat ass.

[Stavi]

The thing is, there will be a bottleneck behind you at some point. Right.

[Eldest]

Which. Oh, I gotta say. Oh.

[Elvis]

Then you make your move.

[Eldest]

So then you make your move.

[Elvis]

Cooper.

[Eldest]

What the. That's pretty good slip.

[Stavi]

Right?

[Elvis]

I'll take the fake mustache.

[Eldest]

One of my favorite things is because, like, I'll get. So we're always right next to each other. That's how we fly. And so I'll go for. I'll get off the plane. Right very. Let me.

[Stavi]

By the way, you're doing a community service doing that.

[Eldest]

Kevin, listen, it's always.

[Elvis]

We're up front. There's no. There's no leakage over.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elvis]

Sometimes I'll drink his bottle of water or something like that.

[Eldest]

No, he gets.

[Stavi]

I'm pissed when me and elders are next to each other.

[Elvis]

Really?

[Stavi]

When it works out that way, I'm like, come on.

[Eldest]

No, I do like it. But he also does the thing where it's like after 10 days on the road, we land and he's like, you want to talk? Like, I'm like, I don't want to talk anymore. Like, we talk for a living. Like something good.

[Elvis]

I like joking around. Especially on the way home. You get a couple of bloody Marys a little bit.

[Eldest]

What happens is he's drunk and I'm.

[Stavi]

Like, keep the party going.

[Elvis]

I watch his movie a lot, which bothers him.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

And he goes, yeah, it's a movie. Yeah.

[Elvis]

Yeah. If a sex scene comes on.

[Stavi]

So you'll watch this movie, but not with the audio.

[Elvis]

No. Yeah. I don't know why.

[Stavi]

See, that's fun. It's fun.

[Eldest]

Me.

[Elvis]

We.

[Stavi]

I mean, we've talked about it before, but when we watch the whale on a flight next to each other every flight, one of the.

[Eldest]

I watch him eat my cookie.

[Elvis]

I get up and float down the aisle. You also don't know if he died at the end of that.

[Stavi]

Oh, man.

[Elvis]

He could have turned it around right there.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Maybe he took that step out the front door and just started floating.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that He. He floated to Planet Fitness. That's how Foley chooses to read the ending. One of the clearest. One of the clearest, most ham fisted endings in the history of film.

[Elvis]

That's gotti turning around there.

[Stavi]

Yeah, there's some. There's some room for interpretation here.

[Elvis]

I like Brendan Fraser in that, but could have got a fat guy.

[Stavi]

I agree. I agree. I agree. I don't know about that. Fat.

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Stavi]

Wow. That's a tough.

[Elvis]

If you work on the role.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Six months.

[Eldest]

Yeah. But I will say we. I'll get off the plane first and I'll like, he'll be directly behind, like, you know, and man, he does bottleneck it because, like, I'll look back through like the sky bridge or whatever it's called, and there's nobody in sight. Like no one's got the plane in two and a half minutes.

[Elvis]

Skybridge.

[Eldest]

And then people's people from like, you know, 9G start passing them on in the Runway and stuff.

[Elvis]

That skybridge, man, my. I. I feel like I'm in the Matrix. Like I haven't used my body before. Like the altitude change. There's. It's always an incline.

[Eldest]

Like he's in a non pressurized cabin or something. The altitude change. Memphis Bell, you're the only one of.

[Elvis]

Well, and plus, too, the. The temperature change, whether it's real cold or real hot when you get off.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Elvis]

And I'm dragging my. I don't have my stuff. That is brutal. Going up that thing.

[Stavi]

And that's why I'm saying little leisure. Let him pass.

[Eldest]

You don't get the bottlenecks a good move.

[Elvis]

That's the fattest move ever.

[Stavi]

No, it's. Well, the fattest move ever is holding everybody up. Yeah. You go to get your CPAP mask and your pants fall down and it was like, oh, sorry, guys.

[Elvis]

And then you got my cookie.

[Stavi]

And then. Yeah. Are you guys gonna throw that cookie away for.

[Eldest]

For a To go cookie?

[Elvis]

When they come around with. Be honest. When they come around with the little snack tray, you got the gummy. You got those vegan gummy bears.

[Stavi]

Vegan gummies.

[Elvis]

Right. You're getting that. But in a pinch, you know what I mean? What are you gonna do?

[Eldest]

It's not a pinch. It's a flight to Pittsburgh. Yeah, yeah. It's 48 minutes in the air. You're not in a pinch. And you slept half of it. So we're talking about 24 minutes.

[Stavi]

What am I getting? Is that.

[Elvis]

I'll just cut that, please.

[Stavi]

What am I getting out of the little basket?

[Elvis]

Yeah. You're not just getting one thing.

[Stavi]

Well, okay, again, it. That's another sign that your life's going well. You. You can say, no, thank you.

[Elvis]

Sure. Which we do sometimes.

[Stavi]

But if I'm really going crazy, I like those little chocolate shortbread. Those are the absolute best. Yes. They have some kind of European branding.

[Elvis]

With the chocolates in the center.

[Stavi]

Yep, yep. And then, you know, whatever they Whatever they got, cookie wise, you know, whether. Biscoff. Now, we've gotten to a point where snack technology has been so advanced that the Biscoff is now the. The lowest offering.

[Eldest]

Sure.

[Stavi]

But I will still make do with one if I have to.

[Elvis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

And. Yeah, I'll get the. And I will get. I'll usually get something chocolatey, something gummy, and then I'll get. You know, if they have a chip, I'll get a chip.

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Stavi]

But if I'm trying to tell myself I'm being healthy, I'll get the pistachios.

[Eldest]

Them. Yeah, I've got it. I've got.

[Elvis]

Which.

[Stavi]

That's too completely. Crush those completely.

[Eldest]

I don't like the mix. You know, it just makes me feel so. It makes me feel like a rat because, like, it doesn't scratch any of the itches. Like, the bags are too small. I need to have five bags of chips. Yeah. I need to have three things of that. And it's just like sometimes they got. And then it crashes just all around me, and I'm like. Little pockets and stuff. And I'm like, I'd rather just. So what I've been doing is buying a bag of gummy bears in the airport, and that's my snack.

[Elvis]

And he waits till I fall asleep, and then I wake up and I see the empty bag of gummy bears, and I know there's been treachery afoot. Goddamn conspiracy.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. No, I see. But see also, I've been doing power.

[Eldest]

But now that we're. Now that we're a little bit healthier, I've been doing, like, the. The meal. The protein bars. If I feel like when I'm eating on a plane, I'm at my worst.

[Stavi]

Absolutely.

[Eldest]

Like, my. My life is going severely shitty. I'm very unhappy when I'm having the breakfast at the Palm, then the breakfast on the plane, then the snacks, which.

[Elvis]

We really don't do anymore.

[Eldest]

We're.

[Elvis]

You know, we're both. He's down a bunch of.

[Eldest]

Down £40.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Shout out, zepbound.

[Stavi]

Shout out, zipbound. Yes.

[Eldest]

I've lost all my muscle mass and bone density, but I am looking good.

[Elvis]

Most of that spleen.

[Eldest]

You don't need that. Anyway.

[Elvis]

What did they. Just Going back a little bit. What did they. What did they throw at you at the Venice, this film festival? Was there a luncheon or anything like that?

[Stavi]

You know, it. It breaks my heart to say nothing. That the food was just okay, really. And I think the problem is you.

[Elvis]

Don'T eat While you're watching the movies, right? No, it's not like the Golden Globes.

[Eldest]

Those chairs recline so you can sleep in them.

[Stavi]

First of all, what are you talking about? The golden. The Golden Globes are award ceremony.

[Elvis]

I know, but they. They're eating.

[Stavi]

Yeah, at an award ceremony, not at a movie.

[Caller 2]

All right?

[Stavi]

It's not an Arlington Drafthouse.

[Elvis]

It's not.

[Eldest]

It's not the AMC Max or whatever.

[Stavi]

I put my order little paper on a little note.

[Elvis]

Cardius, your pretzel nuggets already s. Right here.

[Stavi]

Your buffalo egg rolls, sir. I'm in a tuxedo eating buffalo egg rolls.

[Eldest]

I think that guy got my pretzel nuggets. You're all freaking. I hate that.

[Elvis]

Get Mark Ruffalo on board.

[Eldest]

Come on, man.

[Elvis]

Don't be a share with me.

[Stavi]

No, there's a little dinner and then there's some more ds. But I will say that is the. The thing poor people do better than rich people is actually having good. A good. Yes. Like after the premiere, they. There's just all these little. Little finger foods. And it's like literally, if they. If they had in the corner of the room. This is a nice hotel still. If they had 20 boxes of pizza, everyone would have been.

[Eldest]

Yeah, you are.

[Stavi]

Everyone would have been happier.

[Eldest]

I'm not sure he could have just said pizzas, but boxes of pizzas. Like there's gonna be a stat. Gotta start flipping through to find this serious. To find this sa.

[Elvis]

I hate that.

[Eldest]

It's always at the bottom.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I'm saying they should have had I. To a person there is not except like somebody who's pretending, but like literally the star. Like the people that like the most important people of the movie left because they were like, this kind of sucks. They literally like, I want pizza. We're in Italy.

[Ryan D]

Sure.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

Like, I agree.

[Stavi]

Don't get these little highfalutin. And look, if you have. If you want. If you have to, you take the boxes, take them in the kitchen, have a busboy put them on your plate.

[Elvis]

That's fine or whatever.

[Eldest]

I get that. I. Listen, I'm on board. I. I take a. A staunch stand that I think all catered food low key stinks. It's just okay. You go to a wedding, the food is okay at. No one can cook for 300 people. Yeah, right. It just. It's like all just fine.

[Stavi]

Right. Right. You kind of something with a fixed limited menu at a. At a very fixed location in like catering or like, I don't know. An airport. No matter what, the food is going to be worse than usual.

[Eldest]

Keep bringing up old.

[Elvis]

We'll take you to the Palm.

[Stavi]

That's a good. That's a good way of thinking, Kevin.

[Eldest]

Cheapest ticket we can get today. I will pay for it.

[Elvis]

That's what we should do.

[Eldest]

Get. Get three, four spirit airline tickets.

[Stavi]

Okay?

[Eldest]

We're not going on the flight. We're going straight to the star.

[Stavi]

You garbage from the Live from the Delta Lounge.

[Eldest]

We don't even do it. I don't like the lamb. You can't get what you want. You want. You just get that food they give you. I like. Listen, if it's. If it's after we're eating, doesn't matter what meal it is we're eating. I like to get a burger or something. You can't get a burger in the lounge. You just get the.

[Elvis]

I thought going into that, the first time we did that, I thought, oh, this is where we. This is nice. Then I see businessmen stuffing their. Their tech vests with clementines and.

[Stavi]

Yeah, what the.

[Eldest]

Out of here.

[Stavi]

Ah, Eldest. Fall, autumn. The greatest season to be here in New York City. We are actually taking time off the road. We're focusing here. There's a crisp chill in the air. We have time to eat. Right. And what makes that even easier is our pals at Green Chef spend less time in the kitchen and more time enjoying fall. Look at the leaves. Go down with their new heat and eat meals. You can enjoy a wholesome meal in just three minutes. They use real ingredients, help you build lasting, healthy habits without hassle. We're talking salads, protein filled breakfast, nutrient rich smoothies. Need I say more? We're talking Mediterranean style. You know, I'm a Mediterranean. We've got a Balkan. I won't say what he is. You know, the good folks at Green Chef don't need to hear our geopolitical gripes on the street. Ad read Mediterranean. Gluten free, plant based, protein heavy. I'm a protein little boy right now. Even gut and brain health, I haven't dabbled with those yet. And calorie smart choices too. You're gonna love them. We love them over here. Their recipes change every week. They keep it fresh. Make this fall your healthiest yet with Green chef. Head to greenchef.com 50Stavi and use code 50Starvi50Staveby to get 50% off your first month. Then 20% off for two months with free shipping. That's code [e-mail] 50Starrve but I was.

[Elvis]

Gonna say we've been. We've been better. You know what? I did the last run that saved me.

[Stavi]

Tell me.

[Eldest]

Almost ruined the show.

[Stavi]

We have.

[Elvis]

I'll just cut that. We.

[Stavi]

We.

[Elvis]

We have a bunch of power bars and like that at the studio.

[Stavi]

Power bars was 1992.

[Eldest]

Hey, that's my boy. Arnold.

[Stavi]

Craig meal.

[Elvis]

Man.

[Eldest]

Shout out to Slim Fast. Oh, yeah.

[Elvis]

Don't act like you didn't chug a slim.

[Stavi]

I did, but when I was a child, I was having power bars and Slim Fest.

[Elvis]

Power bars in a Gatorade.

[Stavi]

The chewy, weird consistency. I'm sure if we read the label now, we'd be like, this is worse than a candy.

[Elvis]

They had such a good chew on them. It was awesome.

[Stavi]

They did have a great chew.

[Elvis]

A little hay feel inside. But I grabbed a couple of protein bars. Protein bars. Thank you. Yeah, I think they were Quest bars. And put them in my bag. I got to the hotel because I'm. I've been laying up the booze. We did the show. Those guys went out and drank and all that kind of stuff.

[Eldest]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Stavi]

Not you, though. You're a citizen.

[Elvis]

Yeah, Went right back to it. Went right back to that.

[Stavi]

You're reading your. The Bible they provide for you in the hotel.

[Elvis]

Sitting there like Denzel, a man on fire, got a bullet in your hand. You're talking about a bad person, Prima.

[Stavi]

Just looking at. Looking at the Google page for whatever airport restaurant you're going to fly out of.

[Elvis]

Listening a little Linda Ronstadt. I'm going back someday. That was too much deep cut. I grabbed a couple power bars and I.

[Stavi]

And I.

[Elvis]

And I had one before I went to sleep that took the edge right off that in a bottle of water.

[Stavi]

Woke up ready for breakfast. Is that has about three weeks of efficiency, like life experience.

[Eldest]

There's blood in the water. You gotta.

[Ryan D]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

So in the morning, this is what we did, which we've never really done before. We stayed. We were in Boston at the Wilbur, and we stayed at. We booked hotels like two days before.

[Stavi]

So.

[Eldest]

And at this point, we were just booking the cheapest ones. So we stayed at like a real. Just bare bones, basic hotel around the corner. But then for breakfast, we walked to the W at another hotel. Breakfast. And then. You couldn't tell us, dude.

[Stavi]

I mean, it was crazy.

[Eldest]

He texted the group. He's like, anybody up for break? Because we were driving, so I didn't. We didn't get our airport, Brad. We were driving, so I'm like. He's like, anybody up for brekkie. And I looked and I was like, dude, there's a W around the corner. And he's like, you're gonna throw out a real nice breakfast.

[Elvis]

They do it nice. The comfy chairs, a higher class of people.

[Stavi]

Buffet.

[Eldest]

No, no. O. So but then we're. But it was embarrassing because I walk up, I'm like, hey, three for breakfast. He goes, and what room are you staying in? And I was like, we're just walking by.

[Elvis]

14 local.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elvis]

They give you a little attitude. But they sat us.

[Stavi]

Was it at least a separate restaurant? Did it at least have its own like page or something? Like no. On Google. Did it come up as a restaurant?

[Elvis]

No, it was the W is the lobby. The W Hotel.

[Eldest]

Nice joint.

[Elvis]

Nice joint, right?

[Stavi]

Damn. Because at least sometimes I've definitely. Like when we were in Omaha, we went to a steakhouse. It was connected to a Marriott or something like.

[Eldest]

That'll happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this was more of like. This was the W's restaurant. Like this was. There was no dwarf.

[Stavi]

Interesting. Sometimes that's not.

[Elvis]

That's not bad though. What hotel?

[Eldest]

I love them.

[Elvis]

What hotel is the Bananas in in Jersey?

[Eldest]

Hasbrouck Heights or. No.

[Elvis]

Wow, you're a dude.

[Stavi]

I never did. I always missed.

[Elvis]

I tell you what, I don't know what that bar is. They throw in a Caesar salad. That's pretty goddamn good.

[Stavi]

There's no way.

[Elvis]

Yeah, I'm telling you.

[Stavi]

Hasbrook Heights.

[Elvis]

I'm telling you.

[Eldest]

See, the good thing about this is.

[Stavi]

What? It's like a Hyatt or some something.

[Elvis]

I opened up for neighbor years ago.

[Eldest]

That bar is like a neighborhood. Like people from the neighborhood. It's like. That's what it is. It's a restaurant.

[Stavi]

Gotcha.

[Ryan D]

Courtyard by Marriott.

[Stavi]

Courtyard.

[Ryan D]

Courtyard.

[Elvis]

I'm like.

[Stavi]

I like Courtyard.

[Elvis]

Of course.

[Stavi]

I'm a Courtyard guy.

[Eldest]

Yeah, we're. When it comes to hotels, we're real bare bone. It's just like whatever kind of lower to medium end is. We're.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you're you Hotels. Bare bones. Airport breakfast. I want the most expensive airport restaurant. And I will stay at a night's in. No, you guys will double up. Hotel rooms.

[Elvis]

Bites, please.

[Eldest]

Yeah, no, it's just we're. We're Cuz we do one. Like we're like back to back to back. We're rarely ever posted up for the weekend.

[Stavi]

No, I get you.

[Eldest]

I get you. So it's like, what are we. You get in at 3, you check in, we go to sound check. Then we're at the Venue. Wake up up. We're on the road by 10 so it's like we're really just sleeping there.

[Stavi]

No, I'm with you. Me and Elders are about to go on a. And in fact depending on when people hear this, it might be going on a run through the south where it's like we're in a minivan.

[Elvis]

Love it.

[Stavi]

And we're just crashing in a hotel and then driving the next morning.

[Elvis]

Now who's doing the run?

[Eldest]

I love how your version of Slummin is our version of doing the run. Guys, get this. We're in a minivan. Shout out to. To the town for the Pacifica.

[Stavi]

We'll see who does the driving.

[Elvis]

Could it be. Will you flip flop?

[Stavi]

We'll probably flip flop.

[Ryan D]

It could be me.

[Stavi]

Uhhuh. Could be Elders. Elders is the transporter.

[Elvis]

How's he behind the wheel?

[Stavi]

He's horrific behind.

[Eldest]

Really?

[Stavi]

No.

[Eldest]

Yes he is.

[Stavi]

Honestly, if JP's not going to be with us the whole time, JP's the best driver we.

[Eldest]

Oh is he?

[Stavi]

He's the man.

[Elvis]

I like that. He like I'm slender, good looking.

[Stavi]

We've had and we've had my friend, our pal George. Straight George. He was just along for the ride. He was like I'll come. It'll be fun. We'll be on the road. And he just was like we like stopped for gas and he just was like. He just was like eldest, give me the keys.

[Eldest]

No.

[Stavi]

And he just took over driving a.

[Ryan D]

Talk from the passengers from the back row. Look.

[Elvis]

What's his biggest infraction, would you say? Has he almost killed you?

[Stavi]

General awareness, I would say is probably.

[Eldest]

Kind of number one when you're driving, when you got four souls on board.

[Stavi]

Missing eggs.

[Ryan D]

Once in a while I will miss an exit here and there.

[Stavi]

Being cross eyed, undiagnosed lazy eye.

[Elvis]

Pretty bad, I will admit that.

[Ryan D]

But I think if I have like, you know, if I got the carplay going.

[Stavi]

Right. Checking his phone. That's another one.

[Elvis]

Oh really?

[Stavi]

He loves to see what's going on on Twitter.

[Ryan D]

No, I'll flip. I'll flip through a song on Spotify or something. You know, you got to get the music right in the.

[Stavi]

Got to get the vibes.

[Elvis]

You want to have the soundtrack for your death ready to go. Playing the ballad of the Edmund Fitzgerald Barrel through a toll boots.

[Eldest]

Oh yeah, I'll do. I do most if we. We have a guy on staff, Ryan D. Shout out to who's. He's dops Director of operations.

[Stavi]

He gave him.

[Eldest]

He gave himself that Title. Love that whole drive the van. If we're in the van or the. I drove for, you know, the first handful of years. Which. I like driving though.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

I'm like locked in. I enjoy it.

[Stavi]

Well, we're doing small run, like on purpose. We were like playing smaller places, but they were closer. Cuz like when you. If you make a four hour drive in a day, it's over. Your day is just getting there.

[Eldest]

It's tough showering. That's what I mean.

[Stavi]

Sleeping again.

[Eldest]

That's most of our tours.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

We capped it. I had a stop drop. We'll get. We would get a sprinter. Anything over four, I'm like. Because then you just get to the venue and I'm like, I just see like totally like dotted lines flying by.

[Elvis]

I'm like.

[Eldest]

And I'm barely. I'm like limping through the show. So anything over four, we'll get now, you know, either Ryan will drive or we'll. We'll get a sprinter van or something if we need. Love it.

[Ryan D]

It won't.

[Elvis]

They won't let me drive. I offer all the time.

[Eldest]

I'm not. This sounds like a joke. He stops at green lights and he. And he defends.

[Elvis]

I stop at green lights. In the city.

[Stavi]

In the city.

[Elvis]

Late at night. When we're driving home.

[Eldest]

No, during the day. He. Dude, he pun. And then I'm like, the people. He's like, well, what if someone comes across?

[Elvis]

Get killed.

[Eldest]

Yeah, but the guy behind you is not expecting you to hit the brakes at a green light. It's more dangerous than.

[Stavi]

That's fundamentally. Like the fact that you won't even say, oh, I. It happened once or twice. That's still your policy, is it?

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Crazy. It's actually fucking insane.

[Elvis]

If I drove the car into the city and then I'm driving home and I'm going up First Avenue or third Avenue.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Elvis]

The people coming the other way, they're drunk. It's the weekend.

[Ryan D]

So are you.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And you know what kind of behavior they might do stopping green lights. If you're fucking high or drunk, you might do the opposite of what you're supposed do to. Supposed to do.

[Eldest]

So like. But like this. So you're betting.

[Elvis]

I see your point.

[Eldest]

He thinks someone's gonna blow the red light.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldest]

And come across, which is like. Point is that I'm not saying that can't happen, but that's like.00001% of how many cars pass through an intersection. Just fly through and t bone somebody. In New York, a Day. It's like it barely happens.

[Stavi]

And it's also like the kind of thing that you could go slower through the green lights.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

But to stop is insane pain.

[Elvis]

I stopped right in the middle. Don't you move.

[Stavi]

You're not worried about getting rear ended, huh?

[Elvis]

Nah.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Which is, that is like a real.

[Elvis]

That'S all the way back there.

[Stavi]

Yeah, right.

[Elvis]

I felt bad for that fat guy that got rear ended while I was eating that sandwich. You've seen that clip.

[Stavi]

Oh, it's tough.

[Elvis]

He's about to bite into a Jimmy.

[Stavi]

John's and did it go into his throat? Did he throw it?

[Elvis]

It went all over the place.

[Stavi]

What a shame. What a shame. I feel bad for the guy. Yeah, yeah. No, I, I, I don't. I mean the bus was awesome. Obviously.

[Eldest]

The bus is great.

[Stavi]

But there is something about the, the road trip vibe.

[Eldest]

It's fun. It's like, it's very like, you know, it's like, well, how you. We, we used to have to do comedy where you're like, oh, we're getting in just anybody who has like the opener's car and we're driving for five hours to go bomb somewhere and collect a check for $55.

[Elvis]

Say, say all this is driving and sure. Would you be shotgun if it would say it was just.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Where do you fall?

[Stavi]

Yeah, I'd probably shotgun now.

[Elvis]

Can you fall asleep? Can you snooze out?

[Stavi]

Not really.

[Elvis]

You stay up with them about me.

[Ryan D]

Snoozing out or what?

[Elvis]

Either way. How do you, what do you guys do that?

[Ryan D]

It doesn't really happen. I think like, you know, the etiquette.

[Stavi]

Is you kind of. If it's just a two man. Yeah, you gotta sort of.

[Ryan D]

You're in it even if there's another guy. Like, especially if it's like a two, three hour drive. Like, like I don't know. Plus we're always like, we're, we're rolling like behind the scenes too. You feel like you gotta do a little performing no matter what in the car.

[Eldest]

But just it's fun to show business.

[Stavi]

Of course. He's just waiting to make his move. He's waiting until he's the star. El thinks this, Elis thinks this is. He's gonna remake A Star is Born. But instead of, instead of like a two people dating. It's like a guy finest podcast producer.

[Eldest]

Because these guys will sleep. I've been driving in the car for like five hours. We're like through like from like Houston to like Oklahoma City. And they're all Sleeping.

[Stavi]

That's crazy. That's horrific.

[Elvis]

Van is so comfortable.

[Eldest]

Van is so nice and so comfortable.

[Stavi]

We need a van, dude.

[Eldest]

Heated seats.

[Elvis]

I gotta drop back.

[Eldest]

It's like, dude, if you do the math, we put a down payment on it, and then it's like the. The. The monthly payment is less than what we were spending in Ubers and, you know, car rental and Sprinters. A month.

[Elvis]

Much less than what we spend a month at the Palm.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Significantly less than the Palm. The Palm.

[Stavi]

And it really is. And to tell the. The viewer at home who's unfamiliar, you have a tricked out, basically cargo van.

[Eldest]

Yeah, it's a Chevy conversion or GMC Explorer van. And it's like top of the line. Best you can get. Bought it at Fred Beans. Shout out. Fred Beans, Beans, Red beans. It's just a place. We bought it. We got no deal, no nothing. But the roof was leaking and then. And they made it right. So we. We had a war with red beans for a couple of weeks, and then they made it right. So now we're back on. We're back in the good graces. Shout out Beansies. Yeah, but.

[Stavi]

And we're talking the full. You know, you have force reclining seats back there.

[Eldest]

So It's. So it's 2 cap. It's 2 captain chairs in the front, 2 cap cooler in the middle. How you don't feel?

[Elvis]

Whatever you got, like, I'm cool.

[Eldest]

Cold captain's chairs.

[Stavi]

You like them cold? Try it. You want to chew on them?

[Elvis]

Yeah, throw. Throw a pack of gummy bears in the freezer next time.

[Stavi]

I like them. I like them softer, personally.

[Elvis]

Really?

[Stavi]

Yeah. All right.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

The gelatin, it just. It just feels like it's too hard.

[Eldest]

Yeah, it's like it loses the.

[Stavi]

Your first 10 bites are just getting them room temperature.

[Elvis]

I like that.

[Stavi]

You like.

[Elvis]

You're getting more out of them.

[Stavi]

Interesting.

[Elvis]

What about a Snickers?

[Stavi]

More chew out of them.

[Elvis]

More chew. I like.

[Stavi]

You're not broke anymore.

[Elvis]

I like a chew, though.

[Eldest]

I would push back on that.

[Stavi]

That's why I get. Come see these guys in Philly. They got to sell. When is it the Met?

[Eldest]

December 13th at the Met is the biggest show we ever did. The boys are coming home.

[Stavi]

The Met's beautiful. You guys are going to love that.

[Eldest]

Yeah, we're real stoked. It's. It's. You know when every time you go back to, like, your hometown, it's like the energy is just crazy. It's so. They're so good.

[Elvis]

Yeah, we're excited. December 13th at the Met.

[Stavi]

That's going to be awesome. Yeah. But I. Okay, so we got the cooler and then two captain's chairs.

[Eldest]

So two captain's chairs. And then we did the bench. We were going to spring for that third, like the third row of captain's chairs, but. But then we run into issues with parking it.

[Stavi]

Oh, really?

[Eldest]

Yeah, because we already have to like. So like dops the guy, the driver, Ryan D. Will call ahead because it's too high and too long to park in a lot of like hotel garages and stuff like that. Especially in New York, too. We can't. We park it in Jersey. We park it out by Newark.

[Stavi]

Do you ever just ride it around for fun?

[Eldest]

Not really. No. No. It's tough to get to. I don't even know. I don't even think they would give it to me if I went to get it. Ryan goes and gets it all.

[Elvis]

It's a hump it to get.

[Eldest]

Get it.

[Ryan D]

So.

[Eldest]

But it goes. So I'm behind the drive. Ryan's driving. Two is usually sitting shotgun.

[Elvis]

It's been me lately. But I didn't like it when we first. I'm down a couple of pounds when we first got it. I didn't really fit in the front seat. The seat belt was choking the out of me.

[Stavi]

The back seats are more comfortable.

[Elvis]

Yes.

[Eldest]

This is what he would do, though. So if it was just say it was just four of us, you know, two. Two guys are. The two guys that work with us are in the front. And then me and him would be in the captain's chairs. He would go sit in the back. The bench seat by himself. But then he's leaving me sitting there by myself and he's, you know, he's in a gummy bear coma and I'm just sitting there with my dick in my hand.

[Elvis]

Yeah. Did we. We took that to a Phillies game where I was all up, or was that a sprinter?

[Eldest]

That was a sprinter.

[Elvis]

That was a sprinter.

[Stavi]

It doesn't remember the. I just remember the car.

[Eldest]

What van was I sleeping in that time?

[Elvis]

Well, those sprinters, they can be real cold. Like, if it's like a. Like for like an. On those. On set. Sprinters.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Those things are brutal.

[Stavi]

You don't like that?

[Elvis]

No, I feel like I'm sitting in Fenway Park.

[Stavi]

I like it cold. I like. I like to be chilled out.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

No, I would think you run hot.

[Elvis]

No, no. I mean, they're cold. As far as. Like this. It's very rigid. It's not. Not comfortable when it's a Party one. It's great. Yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

Not temperature.

[Eldest]

We ended up doing it because some of the drivers. I don't know if you guys. I don't know how often you get the. The sprinters for, like, longer things, but, dude, those drivers are like. Like, they're unregulated. They're not like those guys. That's like their third job that day.

[Stavi]

Oh, interesting.

[Eldest]

So, dude, like, we were getting guys where I'm like, We'd be like, dude, you have to slow down. This is crazy back here. He's like, oh, no, it's okay.

[Stavi]

We gotta make time. They dock my pave. I don't make time.

[Eldest]

Yeah. I'm like, slow down, man. And then Sam Morel had a guy fall asleep twice and go off the road. And they were like, dude, pull over. Like, we're done.

[Elvis]

We had a guy stop for gas on sometime.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I love that, dude.

[Eldest]

Right? Picked us up and then stopped for gas. I'm like, what the. Yeah, that's beautiful. But yeah, so it was mostly like a safety choice at some point.

[Stavi]

I like that too, though, because spiritually, that is a very, you know, conversion. Van is another white trash thing, of course.

[Eldest]

I think it's like, you know, sleeping and so proud of it. Yeah, that's like, I know I'm a dirt bag because I'm like, I. Dude, I. I drove it the other day.

[Elvis]

It's got tv and it's dobby.

[Eldest]

Huge tv.

[Stavi]

Love that.

[Eldest]

Send pictures of my brother.

[Caller 1]

Brother.

[Stavi]

I'm like, no, I know. And me, I'm this, like, one time, my cousin, this was giver. You ever. You know when you're a kid and you realize, like, your family, there's other. Your family has other people in their lives and it blows your mind.

[Eldest]

Like, what?

[Stavi]

Like, my cousin had cousins from her other side.

[Eldest]

Oh, you're like, who the are these?

[Stavi]

I'm not related to at all. Right? And her. Cut. Her. Her cousins, I guess they're a big road tripping family. And they had one of these vans and they came through and I didn't know them at all, but they had this sick van and they're popping Peter Pan on there and they're snacks.

[Eldest]

How sick is that?

[Stavi]

And I just remember telling my mom, like, I love them. I was like, I love. I don't even remember their names.

[Eldest]

Our family stinks.

[Stavi]

No, I literally was like, can we. What, are they coming? And my mom was, like, pissed off. She's like, you're never gonna see these people. Yeah. I was like, but they're my Favorite. But they have to be my aunt and uncle, too.

[Eldest]

They have an apartment car.

[Stavi]

It's awesome. Mean, to this day, I remember that.

[Eldest]

Yeah, man.

[Stavi]

It's one of my most cherished child memories. Just the fact that my cousin's cousins had a van with a little TV you could watch Peter Pan inside of. Yeah, that's all it takes.

[Elvis]

The first conversion van I was ever in was one of my dad's buddies.

[Stavi]

And he was living. And he was divorced and living in it. He.

[Elvis]

He. There was nothing in the back, and the grandfather just sat in a lawn chair in the back. I thought that was unbelievable.

[Stavi]

Unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elvis]

We got seats that are bolted in.

[Stavi]

I had dreamed of that. That I wanted my first car to be a minivan with nothing in the back.

[Eldest]

Dude, my step grandfather did that, and it was the coolest thing in the world. He turned into a pickup truck.

[Stavi]

Phrase step grandfather.

[Elvis]

Step grandfather slash uncle.

[Eldest]

Yeah. And crazy thing about I have an ex stepmom, which is wild.

[Elvis]

I always wanted the A team van. That was. That was my thing.

[Stavi]

Sure, sure.

[Elvis]

Yeah, with the. With the aks.

[Stavi]

Another classic Foley reference. Yeah, I always wanted the. I always wanted the van from Hogan's Heroes.

[Elvis]

They didn't have a van. It was the 40s. But they did have tunnels under Stalag 17 style. Like 13.

[Stavi]

You know what I've always said, Elvis? If you're still overpaying for wireless, it's time to say yes to saying no. I've always said that. At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS Bull s. To be more specific, here's why I said yes to making the switch and getting Premium Wireless for 15 bucks a month. That's right, the Stavi. The Stavi Baby Enterprises official business line is with Mint Mobile ditch overpriced wireless and their jaw dropping monthly bill, unexpected overages and hidden fees. Plans start at just 15 bucks a month. Over at Mint, use your phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all existing contacts. Easy as pie. So quick to make the switch. As we've said before. Wasn't it eldest?

[Ryan D]

Yes, it was. I did it. I legitimately did it. So easy on like my phone.

[Stavi]

And Elvis can barely produce this podcast. He doesn't even edit him, folks. Do you understand that? He sits there, press a couple buttons. Buttons. Somebody else edits them. He can do. He could do it. You can.

[Ryan D]

Well, I manage the editing.

[Stavi]

Yeah, sure. No, it's really hard.

[Elvis]

Anyway.

[Stavi]

Are you ready to say yes to saying no. Make the [e-mail] that's minmobile.comstavi Upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month. Limited timing. New customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees. Extra C. Mint Mobile for details. Fuck Elvis. Don't you think it's about time we. We took these two? Scholars and gentlemen.

[Ryan D]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavi]

Picked their brains and helped our viewers.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

So we're here for. For you guys.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Stavi. Eldest, esteemed guest. Me and my wife been married about four years now. We ended up bringing someone into a relationship. And things have been kind of interesting, I guess. Yeah, it was fun. We enjoyed it. She's about two months since then. She's pregnant now. And so we're not really sure what to do. I say we. It's more me. She's denying that there's any chance it could be someone else's. But I'm also there. And I saw him fucking cream pie my wife. So I would have to assume there's a chance it's not my kid. Not really sure what to do. I really love this woman. Obviously don't want anything to happen that would be bad, but just ruin my day. Any advice you have would be fantastic.

[Stavi]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. No, she's the best. But who's the best? Greenfight by another guy. And that's also your wife for this. Kind of put a little damage on our marriage and relationship. So we'll see what happens.

[Stavi]

Wait.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

She's not really up to the.

[Eldest]

You said he cream pied my wife.

[Caller 1]

The test to get tested. But as far as whose kid it is, because. Yeah, the guy's. But I'm thinking there's a chance. You always have the deep thought. Anyways, thank you. You're the best. Live on. Thanks, Eldon.

[Caller 2]

Bye.

[Eldest]

I think I have that right.

[Elvis]

So hold on. So when you freeze the gummy bears.

[Eldest]

Spread beans G. Okay, okay.

[Stavi]

I misheard it. I heard it as, like brought a lady in the lady. And he was like, I don't think it could be mine because I cream pie my wife.

[Ryan D]

He said, I'm also there. And I saw him cream.

[Eldest]

I saw him cream pie my wife. I mean, you're letting another guy cream pie.

[Stavi]

I want to be a prude, but we've reached my limit of, like, sexual. I mean.

[Eldest]

Yeah, I know, but then you. I think, dude, listen.

[Stavi]

I think it's hot. Somebody nuts in your wife. That's. I mean, this is. I mean that.

[Eldest]

You let the guy. Cream pie. I'm out of here.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I mean, listen, I think if.

[Eldest]

You'Re letting that happen, that's you. That you. You live that life where I don't.

[Stavi]

I mean, I see what you're saying.

[Eldest]

You gotta.

[Stavi]

I mean, even though it's not your technical seed, you were. You were.

[Eldest]

I mean you're at the poker table. You know what I mean?

[Stavi]

A group project. You decided your wife is a group project.

[Eldest]

Yes, listen, I did not. I just had a kid and I did not do that with my wife and another man. And I was thinking about getting a DNA test still. So buddy, you test away now.

[Elvis]

What does that. What. What's that look like? So they brought a guy into the relationship. I wonder if it was. If it's. What's the word for that? Poly.

[Stavi]

Poly. Sure.

[Elvis]

If they're like interrupt like if they're dating and doing stuff. If it's just sex, that's just the threesome. Right?

[Stavi]

Right. Yeah.

[Elvis]

That's just getting freaky on.

[Stavi]

But it seems like he was in the. This third is in the mix in a more.

[Ryan D]

Seems like it's kind of a. More formal in a more.

[Stavi]

Yes. Legislated in way. Yes.

[Elvis]

Okay.

[Eldest]

Yeah. I mean I think if you don't. I mean I. Listen, I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Stavi]

Why the wasn't she on birth control?

[Eldest]

It's also like. Yeah. Like the first couple times. Like let them come in her tits or something. What are we doing here? Let's foot into this a little bit.

[Stavi]

They probably did those said it's been a couple months.

[Eldest]

I'm sorry.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, it is.

[Ryan D]

It is crazy that she's straight up. Like there's no way it could be anyone else's. What are you talkious to say?

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's true. That is actually a good cuz. What happened. What's happened could be date.

[Eldest]

She could know her cycle and be like. It's like. It's like not. Was not feasible those days.

[Stavi]

But I see what El saying.

[Eldest]

That's all I'm saying.

[Stavi]

Screams. This screams. It's actually a third guys.

[Eldest]

It screams as she goes. Stop flipping over rocks here. You're not going to like what you find.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah. This is.

[Eldest]

I mean you got to get a test, dude.

[Elvis]

It's inSU. Maybe the third guy. The third guy. The second guy and her might have had sex solo without him.

[Eldest]

I don't. No, he says he.

[Stavi]

I don't think so.

[Ryan D]

Listen, I mean it sounds like he Saw her, she saw this guy, cream pie. His wife.

[Stavi]

Cream pie.

[Ryan D]

That's all you need.

[Eldest]

That's nuts, dude.

[Ryan D]

That's the magic bullet.

[Elvis]

Can we stop talking about food, please?

[Eldest]

Yeah, also with his wife of. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Stavi]

It's like, listen, even if you're going to my wife, don't nut insider.

[Eldest]

There's got to be something reserved for you, you know what I mean?

[Stavi]

It's like, what, do you borrow my car? You don't get to redline it. You know what I mean? You don't get to take it to 140 miles an hour.

[Eldest]

It's my goddamn stereo. I paid for this conversion bin and I want to listen to my music.

[Elvis]

Who programmed Christian radio in here? Yeah, if I, I could quote the kids, I believe that's what they call a, A party foul, the kids.

[Stavi]

A party fouls slang from when we were in college. God damn, you're old as Foley.

[Elvis]

Am I right?

[Eldest]

If I can quote the great Golden Girls, I would say that's on fleek.

[Elvis]

Craig, Craig.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Dude, listen, this is what I, I, this is how I would handle it. That's going to be. It's your wife. This isn't like some girl that you think you're going to walk away from. This is going to forever hang over your head. So, like, have this shitty conversation now, right? So you can clear it up and move on with your life in whatever direction you choose. But you have to get an answer, otherwise you're. It's going to be. The next 30 years are going to suck.

[Stavi]

Yeah. You'll just either have this conversation once now or have it it in your head every day for the rest of your life.

[Eldest]

Exactly.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean?

[Eldest]

Have a shitty week or a shitty life.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I mean, I would need to know. I, I mean, every day you look.

[Elvis]

At your new Asian baby.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And then there is the school of thought that's like, if you are this.

[Eldest]

Much of a cuck, maybe get off on that.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elvis]

You know.

[Stavi]

Oh, also, there's the other thing of like, even if it's not my seed, I was there while it happened.

[Eldest]

That's a big jump for me.

[Stavi]

And it's my wife, but it's my wife.

[Eldest]

I get it.

[Stavi]

And I could, I consented and even.

[Eldest]

Probably you bestowed that upon you. Yes.

[Stavi]

You know, there is an art. Like, I could see where she's coming from, where she's like, you want me to get cream pied by other guys? And now if it's his DNA, what you're Gonna divorce me. What did you think was gonna happen when guys were. When this guy from fucking Craigslist was letting batter off in my snatch?

[Eldest]

Sure.

[Elvis]

Who's his wife? Jazz Palminteri. The way you're saying that the. The matter with you. What'd you think was gonna happen?

[Stavi]

What'd you think. He nodded in my.

[Eldest]

That's crazy to me.

[Elvis]

That's quite the pickle you got going there.

[Eldest]

Now I you good luck with all that.

[Stavi]

It's hard for me to put myself in the heads of space of a man who lets his wife get cream. Like I'll even. I'll even entertain letting someone my wife cream ping is. And maybe this is where we said again, I'm a prude here. I admit this. This is my line.

[Ryan D]

I do wonder what was going on at the moment. He's like, yeah, two months we're all. And then he's like, oh, yeah, he's just her good right now, but there's no way he's going to cream pie inside.

[Elvis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ryan D]

He's like, oh, he's getting closer. Do I tap? Do I tap my.

[Elvis]

I go out to the fridge to get a crystal light and I come back in here and your mo.

[Stavi]

Pie in my broad Foley's just. Yeah, this is just Foley's dream scenario. Yeah, he's got crystal light. Someone else is taking on the chore of physical exertion.

[Eldest]

I'mma sit this one out, big dog.

[Elvis]

I'm going to eat the shower. Don't cre or nothing like that.

[Stavi]

I'm going to catch the end of the Phillies game in this recliner.

[Eldest]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know, man. That's crazy to me. Yeah.

[Stavi]

But I'm with you, though. I do think.

[Eldest]

Think to have the tough conversation if you want.

[Stavi]

If you feel like it's going to make a material difference to you whether this is biologically your kid or not. And I, we, by the way, understand if that's the case, it would actually be strange or not or. Or not even. Yeah. Or even just like you'd be a very specific kind of guy for this not to bother you.

[Eldest]

It's a great way to put that.

[Stavi]

And, and by the way, the kind of guy who lets his wife get cream pied and the guy kind of guy who's okay with it. With this scenario, there's a. I think the middle of that Venn diagram is pretty sizable, you know, potentially. But you're clearly not one of those guys. If you want, if you feel like you need to have a DNA Test. Get a DNA test. If your wife refuses. That would.

[Eldest]

That would make me just wait till he's, you know, six months or whatever and you know, surreptitiously. Yeah. You got to do.

[Stavi]

Oh, we're going to Disneyland father trip.

[Elvis]

Do you keep him around though? Is that.

[Stavi]

Does that the guy who creepied your wife and might have he.

[Eldest]

That Listen, that guy don't want a kid. He's. He's dumping clips in your wife. He's like. But it's just cradle.

[Elvis]

That's what I'm saying. It might like you guys are true.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I guess the two reads on this are. His wife either is around. There's a. There's a possible extra guy he doesn't know about or she's. She understands the situation. Of the two guys that could have impregnated her, one is a guy who was just getting his rocks off a stranger's wife and one is her husband. So she's like, who's more liable to take care of my kid? She doesn't want to do this coin flip. She's committed to you. But she's also like, I don't want to give him the out of this being the other guy's kid. God. And I hate to look. I guess there's one lesson here would be like if you are in.

[Eldest]

You think there's only one lesson here.

[Stavi]

If you're in a polyamorous situation, don't let the guy splooge in your way.

[Elvis]

Wife.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Blow it on her tits.

[Eldest]

Regardless of how many times he asked.

[Stavi]

Yeah. No matter how hot you find it, no matter how much. No matter how much it feel while you're. Well, you're sitting in that chair wearing stockings and they're rubbing up on your plug just right. And you're thinking, wow, you know, make this. Take this to the next level. This guy dumping goo in my wife. Just go ahead and skip that part.

[Elvis]

I never really got the cream pie thing. Thing.

[Stavi]

The enjoying it.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Never.

[Stavi]

Never.

[Eldest]

My thing is not the father.

[Stavi]

I think by that's biologically interesting because you would argue it's the one thing you're.

[Eldest]

It's not for me either. We're an anti cream pipe.

[Stavi]

You guys are coming out against cream pie.

[Eldest]

Coming out again.

[Elvis]

That doesn't mean just coming inside of her. That means you do it right there on the edge. So it's.

[Stavi]

It leaks out, right? No, no, no. Oh. Cream pipe inside. Oh.

[Elvis]

That's all it means.

[Eldest]

But then it comes out.

[Ryan D]

You have to see it maybe technically in like porn.

[Stavi]

Cream Pieing someone is just n. In.

[Eldest]

A. Oh, I don't gotta push.

[Stavi]

I. I'm sure about.

[Eldest]

I gotta push back on that. Let's call this guy back.

[Stavi]

No, no, he's not.

[Eldest]

He's falling cry. I thought there was. Okay.

[Stavi]

No, no, not the porn thing where they make you.

[Eldest]

That's my more theatrical.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comes back out.

[Eldest]

Oh, then I love cream pies.

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying.

[Eldest]

I'm CPing now fully.

[Stavi]

What about you knowing this new information? Are you. Are you still anti cream ping?

[Elvis]

Yeah, more of a ring Dings, man. Devil dog.

[Eldest]

That's when you do it in the butt. Devil dog. Coming her butt Coming her belly button.

[Stavi]

Better size matchup.

[Elvis]

Got to hit this broad with a crimp.

[Eldest]

It's a deep cut.

[Elvis]

Deep cut.

[Stavi]

I love a crimp.

[Eldest]

Regional cut.

[Stavi]

I'm a big crimping guy. I know. I know. I'm a big crimp guy.

[Elvis]

I love a crimping it.

[Stavi]

I do Baltimore to Boston. That's right. So good luck, man.

[Eldest]

Let's put a button in that.

[Stavi]

Yeah, good luck. Do whatever you need to do.

[Elvis]

Maybe hang in there, dog.

[Ryan D]

Call us with an update.

[Stavi]

I would love an update, actually. Yes. Call it. In fact, call into a live show. We would love to speak to you.

[Eldest]

Come to the show in Philly. We'll bring you up on stage. You can do it.

[Elvis]

All three.

[Stavi]

Is that. Is it. That is a quite an are you garbage situation.

[Eldest]

Yes, very much so. So.

[Stavi]

Well, let me have you weigh in on my are you garbage situation from this morning. What I had for lunch today. Boxed Mac and cheese.

[Eldest]

What name brand?

[Stavi]

It. It was a. Yeah, it was like one of those. Like.

[Elvis]

Was it Annie's?

[Stavi]

No, but it's like one of those, like, protein chickpea.

[Eldest]

Gotcha.

[Stavi]

Gotcha. So it's box. It's a little. It's a. It's a bit higher. End of boxed Mac and cheese. But then I also threw some lump crab meat in there to create canned Phillips.

[Eldest]

Just stirred it in, stirred it in for the pro.

[Stavi]

The easy protein. But I did ultimately have boxed Mac and cheese with lump crab.

[Elvis]

You had box chickpea Mac and cheese.

[Stavi]

That's right. Like a bonza pasta type of situation.

[Eldest]

Yeah. I gotta go classy on that. It's not trashy. I get why it would be. I think if it was like, name brand, it was cracked. Like the blue box.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

It's got like, a generic blue box.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Eldest]

And put in imitation crab meat. I'd have to push Back on that.

[Stavi]

This, this can of crab meat was expensive.

[Eldest]

And also you're doing it for the pro. You're doing macros. So there I gotta, I gotta defer. You get on a curve.

[Elvis]

Most crab cakes at high end steakhouses and stuff like that is canned crab meat.

[Stavi]

I would assume so. Yeah. Yeah.

[Elvis]

There's nothing wrong with that. And I'll tell you why. You're right there.

[Stavi]

Thank you. I'm on the cusp though, for sure.

[Elvis]

No, what do you say? On the cusp? I'd say why you're right there. Of not even have to worry about.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Elvis]

Okay. Is you got the. You got the chickpea pasta, right? Okay. You got high end stuff. Probably getting whole food foods or something like that.

[Stavi]

It was purchased at whole Foods.

[Elvis]

There you go. You got the. You got the. You got the high end.

[Eldest]

But that's more about Rockefeller over here.

[Elvis]

All you're missing from putting that down on the table at a dinner party going, oh my God, it's a little chopped up scallion.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you're right. I ate it out of a plastic tupperware container, so.

[Elvis]

Out of a wegmans bag.

[Eldest]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Stavi]

I shook it up in a bag. Yeah, yeah. I cooked it by boil by putting it in hot, hot water and dunking it like it's prison sous vide, though.

[Eldest]

That's good. That's push back on that, dude.

[Stavi]

All right, all right.

[Elvis]

You're okay with that?

[Eldest]

I get it. Doesn't feel great.

[Stavi]

Doesn't feel great.

[Eldest]

But if considering all things. Thank you.

[Stavi]

I would say.

[Elvis]

Was it good?

[Stavi]

It was delicious.

[Eldest]

Do you have any left over?

[Stavi]

No, I.

[Elvis]

Did you add any personal cheese into it or anything?

[Stavi]

No, because I am watching my figure. So I just went with whatever was on the box. Box. I made it as instructed.

[Elvis]

So you weren't cutting up pieces of pepper Jack and throwing.

[Eldest]

Which I think if you were to put a. Put a layer of cheese on top, throw that in the oven for a couple minutes.

[Elvis]

Oh, come on.

[Stavi]

Oh, you put that in a ramekin.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Put some cheese over it, broil it. It's the classiest meal.

[Elvis]

You're on a garden whatever.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, that was.

[Ryan D]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Ena. I believe. Yeah, but that's right.

[Elvis]

Yeah. I'm a Jeffrey fan. That guy's been making bank for years.

[Eldest]

I don't even know what you're talking about.

[Elvis]

Her husband Jeffrey.

[Stavi]

Jeffrey. You know, garden's husband Jeffrey.

[Eldest]

I don't know who in a garden is. What?

[Stavi]

I love her. She's a culinary legend. Yes.

[Elvis]

What's Your spot out in Hamptons.

[Stavi]

What's your show? Eldest?

[Elvis]

Do you remember Barefoot Contessa?

[Stavi]

Barefoot Contessa?

[Elvis]

She wasn't.

[Stavi]

Fine.

[Elvis]

I saw her thing. She was in finance back in the day, I think in the 70s. And the reason it's called Barefoot Contessa is she bought a. Like a. Like a bakery or something like that that was called Barefoot Contessa.

[Stavi]

Ah, she inherited the name.

[Elvis]

Yeah. Back in the Hamptons when nobody was hanging out. Got there.

[Stavi]

Shout out to her. Shout out to her. 1. This is maybe the most well versed you've ever been on any subject in your life.

[Elvis]

There we go.

[Eldest]

You gave 15 seconds.

[Elvis]

Give me something else. You want to talk about Three Eye Atlas 3.

[Stavi]

No.

[Elvis]

Okay.

[Eldest]

He's trying to shove that in.

[Stavi]

Take the next call.

[Ryan D]

I think it's called Atlas Rug Fully.

[Elvis]

That's right. What he said.

[Eldest]

And with your help, we can catch that monkey.

[Elvis]

Fountain head. I also tell people I read that.

[Stavi]

That's. So why are you reading these libertarian books?

[Elvis]

Is that what they are?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

I didn't know. I thought it was. I thought they were all space.

[Stavi]

You thought it was like sci fi fantasy.

[Elvis]

Yeah, I thought it was. They're in the future. That's a stranger to strange land. I tell people I read that. I always thought that was sci fi.

[Stavi]

I don't remember that one.

[Elvis]

It's about an alien. That might have been a hidden meaning.

[Stavi]

You know, this summer I've tried to get in tune with my body. You know, I've been experimenting. I've been dabbling. One of the greatest experiments that I've conducted has been with mud water. That's right. I've cut out other sources of caffeine. Mud water is an incredible little blend of cacao chai, turmeric and adaptogenic mushrooms to help you feel focused without the crash. And I drink it iced. I'm an iced. I'm an iced coffee boy. I'm an iced iced tea boy. I'm an iced mud water boy. That's right. You just mix it with cold water or milk. I'm a water guy, okay? I like to start my days. Little peek behind the curtain. I haven't been eating early in the morning. I've just been slurping sustenance for my delicious mud water. And I've been ready to go. Every single ingredient in mud water is there for a purpose, okay? It ain't. Now, look. I hear mushrooms on, like, nice. And though they aren't nice in the way you might think they are, they're nice in the way that they give you sustained mother freaking energy. Okay? Do you understand that? I'm feeling awake, I'm feeling ready to go. No crashes, no spikes from coffee. Like I said, we got cacao, we got chai for a hint of caffeine. Just a little bit, just little smooch. And a hot chocolate like flavor, which I like. I'm a little chocolate boy. And then we got lion's mane for focus. Nice. We got cordyceps to promote natural energy. Nice. And both Chaga and Reishi to support a healthy immune system. Nice. I have been healthier. Have been. Look, this isn't scientific. I'm just telling you as I've been drinking, I've been feeling better about it. I've cut out energy drinks, caffeinated sodas, coffees, all that kind of. I would usually. I usually get that for a little pep in my step. I've actually. I've replaced that with mud water ever since they came on as a sponsor and I've been loving it. Ready to make the switch to cleaner energy. Head to Mudwater M u D w t r.com and grab your starter kit today. Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal. Up to 43% off your entire order plus free shipping and a free recharge eligible frother when you use code Stavi. That's right up to 43. Off with code STAVI@M u d w t r.com after your purchase they'll ask how you found them. Please show your support and let them know we sent you. Let's play the call. There's some crab meat up here.

[Caller 1]

Hey, what's up, Stav? I'm gonna get straight to the points here. I think I've accidentally been getting tattooed from a Nazi. Yeah, crazy. I live in the south and I've been getting this sleeve done. Not Nazi related. And this person has been super cool so far and does a really great job. And then the last session just came out of nowhere with some like conspiracy theory stuff which I'm not into. And then I think I know know who.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Might have been targeting the polish.

[Elvis]

Not a big Thai food guy, huh?

[Stavi]

Keep going, Elvis.

[Caller 1]

Super crazy anti Jew stuff. And like people didn't die in the Holocaust. Muslims are taking over. And I'm sitting there like, what the do I do? You can't necessarily just get up.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Caller 1]

So yeah, I've got. I'm mostly done. But just have one more session and obviously I don't want to give this person more money.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Caller 1]

But I'm really struggling with like now I have this tattoo on my arm and I've loved it so far, but now it's associated with this person and I don't like that at all. All.

[Stavi]

Well, hold on though.

[Caller 1]

I have like weird feelings about it and I'm just wondering if I should just get over it and go to another person and get it touched up and get it finished or. I mean, obviously I certainly don't want to go to this person again or just like, should I get it removed or. I don't know, man. This whole thing has been crazy and it's just throw me for a loop. So I think I could just use some advice in general on how to proceed with all this. So appreciate it, big fan and congrats on the success.

[Eldest]

Bye.

[Stavi]

Okay, so first of all, I understand the knee jerk reaction to be like the emotional reaction. I'm gonna look at this. A Nazi made this. But I'll say this like, have you ever had drywall done in your house?

[Eldest]

Have you ever been to McDonald's?

[Stavi]

Have you ever gotten roofing done?

[Eldest]

The only problem is, you know, this guy's an idiot. Like, he's shared those thoughts with you.

[Stavi]

I promise you, you've enjoyed the work. Work of anti Jewish conspiracy theorist many times. If you've, if you've had any infrastructure done in the. Have you been on the roads in the south? Yeah, I mean, like, that's the thing. Dude is like, it's. It sucks that he, he felt comfortable enough and it sucks that he has these opinions, obviously, but you just go fiddle.

[Eldest]

I mean like, I would just. You got one session left with the. It's not like you're funding like the American Nazi party or something. You're giving this guy this money who's like gonna, you know, it's not. I don't know.

[Stavi]

And if his work is good and you be. It'd be different if it was like you're at the consultation and he dropped and he hasn't started working on you and he does some weird shit. And look, if you feel like you don't want to go back, I get that too. But I would say you're not even in the wrong to just finish this piece with this person.

[Ryan D]

It just.

[Stavi]

This sucks because this shows you how bad the world is that now know. It's like this used to be like a crazy, like, can you believe this fucking nut job? And now it's like, oh, he's part of Trump's army. He's part of like now you're like, oh, am I? Am I Helping to fund the fascism that will be running this country in nine years.

[Eldest]

I also think too, it's like this guy's just probably ended up on some of the wrong fucking, you know, webs. Like he's reading the wrong shit. He's probably an idiot in every sense word. And he's just like, he's focused on this.

[Stavi]

No, no, I'm with you. But I'm saying like 20 years ago, it would be easy and almost funny to be like, can you take.

[Eldest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

Now it's like it seems to be a sizable part of a number of Americans agree with him. You know, it's like. That's the scary part is like, you're like, fuck, I hope my tattoo artist and his friends don't take up arms against me and the local government here. But yeah, dude, he's pulling up the.

[Elvis]

Sleeves, he's coming in the house. You did my arm, remember?

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

Also I will say, if you're Jewish, don't go back find you guy. I will say that that would be my only thing. Otherwise, let a. Let it roll.

[Stavi]

I say, even if you're Jewish, get a little silly Putty. Make it look like you're uncircumcised. Pretend your. Pretend your pants fell down and you had a wardrobe malfunction. But yeah, hey, look, as long as he's not sneaking in any.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

SS symbols in your full sleeve Dragon Ball Z tattoo. I like.

[Eldest]

Yeah, don't.

[Stavi]

Again, it's like, this sucks. Whatever. But you're totally. You don't. I mean, it's not your fault that this guy was harboring these opinions that.

[Eldest]

You had no idea and now you're.

[Stavi]

Going to get it removed. Dude, no, it's like, again, like I said, if you've had roofing done. My father was a contractor. I know who his associates were. If you've had any, like, unfortunate, especially in the south, if you've been to.

[Eldest]

Any of my family parties, like, you.

[Stavi]

Like, you just happen to know that this guy was a piece of shit. And it's like, look, just fucking get the tattoo done and move on. Don't ever go back. Don't get new tattoos there. But whatever your level of comfort, finish it either there or somewhere else. But you don't have to take it all. I mean, you, you shouldn't have to do. Because removing a tattoo is hard, brutal.

[Eldest]

And like thousands and years, you know, so finish up. Maybe check out some of the literature has too.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And it's like, let's have an open mind. I Mean, are things going well right now? Yeah.

[Eldest]

I mean, you're calling in to stop for. For advice, maybe. This guy's got the. You know, the website.

[Stavi]

Him. He's right. It's not that. You know, the richest people are hoarding more and more resources. It's. There's a secret cabal. I love this. Like, there's se. There's secret. It's like. It's not a secret. They just. Every. Rich people just steal from the poor. We've been watching it happen, like, in our. In our faces. They are taking everything from us. There's secret group. They're just like, yeah, we're just gonna pay to get the president we want elected. He's gonna give us tax cuts, and you don't even get healthcare.

[Elvis]

That.

[Stavi]

It's just happening in our. In front of our fucking eyes. But, you know, good luck, buddy. Don't remove that shit. Don't remove that shit, cuz you came across a Nazi in Alabama.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You don't deserve. You don't. You shouldn't have to fucking go through that because some guy.

[Elvis]

I know. It's not like you got a gun in Martin's vineyard or something like that.

[Eldest]

You don't need to. I would. You don't need to connect the two at all to me. Those are two independent events and just move on. You shouldn't emotionally connect.

[Elvis]

Plus, if you're single and progressive chicks are your thing, you get to.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

You know what happened, though? This guy was. I.

[Stavi]

What. What's your. What do you think? If you're single and progressive, you think it's a conversation starter that you have a Nazis work on your arm?

[Elvis]

Exactly.

[Stavi]

I say don't bring that up.

[Elvis]

No, bring it up.

[Eldest]

This is from when I was undercover.

[Stavi]

Oh, fuck.

[Elvis]

The Italian Klansman.

[Stavi]

What?

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

What else we got?

[Caller 2]

LD hey, Stavi, Longtime listener. So I was watching one of your older episode episodes, and I remember you said that your parents split up, like, when you were in a.

[Caller 1]

Adult.

[Caller 2]

I now find myself in this position. I'm 27 and my parents are splitting up. They've been together since they were teenagers, so it's definitely kind of a big thing. I'm an only child, so I guess my question is, I'm wondering if there's anything, like, looking back that you wish you had done differently while you were kind of processing this. Do you have any advice just for, you know, how to deal with this as an adult? I know, like, every situation's totally different, but I'm wondering if there's something that you Wish you had done differently. Looking back on it. Thanks, Bobby. Love you.

[Eldest]

Bye.

[Elvis]

What do you think, bud? How old?

[Eldest]

I didn't know how old were your parents and they split up.

[Stavi]

I mean, dude, or were you. It was recent. It was like a few years ago.

[Ryan D]

Okay.

[Stavi]

See the thing I would say to you, even the premise of this question, like, do I wish I had done anything different? It's like, this isn't about you at all.

[Eldest]

My take is like zero. That's where you got everything you could from your parents to get you to this point. And it's like, great. Everybody's now individuals.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I think like, is it your.

[Elvis]

Fault that they stayed together for you? Sure.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I would have been a shittier kid to drive them apart earlier. You know, I don't. Yeah. I don't think. I think actually one of the only good parts is that you didn't. You're a fully formed adult and if you let, if you're letting this affect you, there's something wrong there. You're like falling into this. This trap of like, I don't know, nostalgia.

[Elvis]

They're gonna be happier.

[Stavi]

Yeah. This is better for everybody.

[Eldest]

Sure.

[Stavi]

Is it a little annoying to have to figure out out holidays, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, sure. But I don't know, just make time for both your parents where you can and like, you know, it's. Honestly, it shouldn't. It doesn't really matter. I would say just like, I don't know the specifics of your guys situation but like one thing that I did was I didn't really humor anyone. I didn't. I didn't pretend to take their side. I was just like, here's what I believe. Leave. I don't care what hap. Like, it was almost freeing because I could be like, great. Now I don't have to get involved with your guys relationship. We can focus on our. The only thing that matters is how we get along and how you treat me. Now I don't have to worry about your up.

[Eldest]

Yeah. This overall bigger picture. It's like, this is. I don't have to continue to try to solve this anymore and move on.

[Stavi]

I find it so much easier.

[Elvis]

Nice.

[Stavi]

I find it so much easier. I relate to them as individuals. I don't have to go into my up family and. Exactly. Like you said, like manage, try and avoid. You know, they're being.

[Eldest]

Oh, it's weird eggshells on this. How is it gonna.

[Elvis]

I mean, are they somewhat cool or.

[Stavi]

No, they're cool enough. Cool.

[Elvis]

So it's not like when you're hanging out with your mom, she's complaining about your dad or vice versa or anything like that. It's just you guys.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I mean, it's still a little weird. There's still the remnants of it, but it's like, you know, everyone is kind. It's been a few years. Everyone is sort of like, we know the score now. Everyone's fine.

[Elvis]

And like, positive.

[Stavi]

The thing, it's positive. The thing to remember is that your family will never be good. You know what I mean? Like, this is slightly better. It doesn't make it. It doesn't make it much. It doesn't solve everything. Because sure, shit's probably dysfunctional to begin with, but yeah, I would just say, understand, it's not about you. Don't get sucked into any more drama. Because they could. Because if you've got a drama queen.

[Eldest]

They start pinning each other.

[Elvis]

This is, this is a get out of drama free card right now. All right? You're doing, doing this. I don't want to hear like, hey.

[Stavi]

I'm happy for you, but this has nothing to do with me.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I would just, that's my only thing is, like, don't get too sucked in. Because I would argue I maybe did get a little too sucked in for my tastes, where I was like, you know, I got really in the middle of making sure everything could happen, whatever, you know, and part of that is that poor people just can't get divorced because it costs money.

[Eldest]

It's devastating.

[Stavi]

I sort of just like, I basically bankrolled my parents divorce. You know what I mean? Like, good for you. And so, and, and I would just say, like, and I should have drawn like, firmer boundaries around that where it's like, look, I'm going to make this happen because this is the best thing, but I don't want to. I ended up being a little more in the middle than I would have liked in certain aspects. So I would say to you, don't get in the middle. Let them go through their thing. Make sure you're there.

[Eldest]

Be.

[Stavi]

Be there for them in any capacity that makes sense for you. But ultimately, even though you're an adult, you're still the kid here. Right? And it's still their responsibility to figure this out. I'm.

[Eldest]

So you think my parents got divorced when I was three. Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavi]

So I'm like, yeah, because you have, you already have an. How are you?

[Eldest]

What.

[Stavi]

How did it feel with your ex stepmother when that happened?

[Eldest]

That had happened at a time when I wasn't. I don't currently talk to my father. It's been a while. So that happened like around that time. I was older anyway.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldest]

But yeah, I mean, I come by. It's very messy. Like my family doesn't talk. There's certain factions that don't talk or passed away. And then once they're like. Once they're dead, you're dead to me. That kind of thing. The last time I'll see you at the funeral, a lot of that. And it's like I've just stepped back from like all of it. And the fact that when I moved to New York, I removed myself from like the day to day of it, you know, and you're just like. That gave me perspective that you can have now of like. Like you're out of. I think if you're 27 and your parents have raised you and it's like there's no. There's no other. There's no more responsibility or burden. It's like you have to, like you said, just stay, stay away and go. Like I can watch from afar and come in when I'm needed. Of course, for your mom to cry on your shoulder or whatever, whatever. But like, stay the out of it. That's, you know, boundaries.

[Stavi]

I fully agree. But yeah, you know, good luck out there.

[Eldest]

Knock them dead.

[Elvis]

Two Christmases.

[Stavi]

That's right.

[Elvis]

Two Thanksgiving dinners.

[Eldest]

Or two hunters. Hanukkah's.

[Elvis]

Or two Hanukkahs. Sure.

[Stavi]

Or a Hanukkah on a Christmas.

[Caller 1]

JD here, just had a quick question for you. I need some advice on a situation in my current relationship. Been with a girl 3 years. Love her to death. We worked at the same place. Worked at a grocery store together with her. I worked there seven years. Thing that's eating away at me that I keep keeping from her. Before her, I ended up having sex with three different girls in the same department before her. And everyone at my grocery store would call me the Deli Jecker because I worked in the deli department. And she knows about two of them, but the third one, that she doesn't. Everyone else in my friend group, everyone from that job knows but her. And I feel bad not telling her, but the main reason I don't want her to ever find out is she was 17 years older than me. She was a raging alcohol.

[Stavi]

And what a save.

[Eldest]

Whoa. I was.

[Stavi]

What a save.

[Eldest]

I was gonna go dump it. Dump it.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was 17 years older than me. He gave us the dramatic pause too. I was like, eldest fucking delete this, man. I don't want to be accessory to this. Anyway, keep going.

[Caller 1]

She was a raging alcoholic and she was into ddl. Daddy daughter love, if you want to look that up. But she ended up getting me drunk at a work party, drugging me with high doses edibles she told me that were low. Coming back to her house and then hooking up with her for the first couple of weeks. Nights, but a couple nights, that's it.

[Stavi]

But two to three times. I'm sure that getting. She got me drunk. She got me drunk for weeks at a time.

[Ryan D]

Come on.

[Elvis]

Misery.

[Caller 1]

After that I got grossed out and ashamed. Never called her back. And then I started dating the girl I've been with for three years after. So just having a problem not telling her. It's not like she needs to know. But since everyone I know knows, even my best friend who works at a hospital dealt with her having a alcohol overdose. He found out two nights after I hooked up with her and I just found that out last week. He told me. He just never told me that he ended up meeting her. Anyway, just some advice. I know a piece of shit. I just don't know. Would you tell someone this? Would you ever bring it up? Would you continue to hide it? Just let me know.

[Caller 2]

Thanks.

[Stavi]

Interesting. So basically he's saying there's a secret. I have a secret here. Do I let it lie? Do I come clean? It's been three years that he's been in this relationship. Yeah. I guess the question is like, what, why? What do you have to gain? What's the. In what context would you bring it up? Like, would you just say, hey, I just want you to know I. This lady I fucked.

[Elvis]

Marge.

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eldest]

I will say, as someone who's worked many years in a supermarket, those deli guys are bad news. Bad news. You know, it's.

[Elvis]

It.

[Eldest]

I know it all. Your co. The deli guys play by their own rules.

[Stavi]

Is this really a. Yeah. Yeah. True stereotype?

[Eldest]

Oh, a hundred percent.

[Stavi]

Did you do any hooking up at the grocery store?

[Eldest]

No, I was quite young. There was. But no, I mean I was still in like. We were like 15, 16.

[Stavi]

So the. What were the.

[Eldest]

Yeah, because they're all older. They're all like.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldest]

Mostly drug. You know, there's a lot of drug use either prior or during or during or whatever. And also like criminal and like it is the. It is a good kind of landing pad for someone coming out of a bumpy place. Cuz it's like, you know, probably like 15, you know, it's like a decent paycheck Right. That you can, like, kind of get back on your feet.

[Stavi]

Foley's got a couple applications out right now.

[Eldest]

Wait. I'm waiting to hear back from Wegmans.

[Elvis]

I heard old drugs and lunch. Me. That's what I heard.

[Eldest]

Slipping out of his seat.

[Elvis]

I was. I was for a second. I forgot you guys were all here.

[Stavi]

Yeah, interesting.

[Eldest]

But it is. It's very. It's. So. I get it.

[Stavi]

Did you ever work in any incestuous workplaces like that at all? Not really, no. Yeah, me neither. Really, about you, do you have any restaurants and bars?

[Elvis]

Restaurants and bars. Everyone's.

[Stavi]

Yeah, everyone's.

[Elvis]

You get a good group. Everyone's. Everyone's at the right point in their lives. Everyone's partying and. Yeah, it's all right.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Yeah, it's all right for a few months. It's all right.

[Stavi]

Of course. Yeah. So I guess, like, my thing is, here's where I would be if I were you.

[Elvis]

Me?

[Stavi]

No, no, no, no.

[Eldest]

I'd be at that goddamn deli counter taking a ticket, I'll tell you that much.

[Stavi]

I'd be getting versed in different types. Pastramis.

[Ryan D]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

No, if I. If I was this guy. She knows about the other two. Ostensibly, it came up organically. If this ever comes up, you don't lie.

[Eldest]

Right?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Just go, oh, it was one. It was so long ago.

[Stavi]

But it feels like the kind of thing where bringing it up out of the blue is kind of weird.

[Eldest]

Sure.

[Stavi]

Right. Like, I get the fact that everybody around him knows, but it's not like they're snickering behind her back because you fucked up.

[Eldest]

No one's talking about it or thinking about it.

[Stavi]

No, no one except you is thinking about it. About it. And it's. You didn't betray her. It's not like you cheated on her early in your relationship. It's that before you met with her, you hooked up with someone that's kind of embarrassing to you.

[Elvis]

Very. I think that's what it is. From the way he was trying to throw that old lady under the bus.

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly.

[Eldest]

That old lady. Then use that as you go. I was going to tell you, but I'm just like. I was pretty shameful about it. It was a bad time in my life. You know, whatever.

[Elvis]

I'm just playing devil's advocate here. If that does come up in the break room, like, oh, that's the time. Fuck, Tony. Whatever it is. Yes. And she hit What? That's gonna. She's not gonna, like.

[Stavi]

I don't think that comes up. That's weird.

[Eldest]

Yeah. I mean, something.

[Stavi]

Still working at the grocery store.

[Eldest]

It's a. Let's pad.

[Stavi]

Let's talk about. Let's talk about different things here. Different issues. You've been with this girl for three years. You were there before. You were there long enough to three women.

[Eldest]

He's been there for at least seven years.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you've been there for. For a while, brother. What are we doing that's a good gig?

[Eldest]

I mean, you know, it's. It's. It's a solid paycheck. A lot of those. I don't know where in the country it is, but, like, ours was unionized, okay? Deli workers and, like, the meat workers or whatever. Plus my boy. My boy got me bumped up to the meat room. And he would get there every day and turn the crock pot on, throw a bunch of meats in there, let it cook for like four, five, six hours. At the end of the night, he had a. I mean, everybody was eating.

[Stavi]

That's awesome.

[Eldest]

It's a good time.

[Stavi]

And look, if there. If there is a way for you to get whatever.

[Elvis]

Access to the crock pot.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I. I didn't realize there was some good. I didn't realize there was crockpot access here. I take back what I'm going to say. Crock pot. Yeah, dude. I mean, I don't think it's the kind of thing where it's just funny that she knows about the two you're not ashamed of, but you hid the one you were ashamed of because you didn't technically do anything wrong. You know, you just kind of.

[Eldest]

You're embarrassed by it.

[Stavi]

You're just embarrassed by your behavior. So I would say it, you know, if it ever comes up, you don't deny it. And if she's like, why didn't you tell me? You're like, well, why would I? I mean, like, yeah, it just never came up. I never denied it, but it doesn't. Does it really matter who I fucked before?

[Elvis]

You talk about all the old guys you fucked?

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you, you fucking whore? How much cock were you sucking before you met me?

[Eldest]

When you were working in prison? Vodos. Yeah, I don't know about that.

[Elvis]

That's what I'm talking about. That's what they call flipping the script, putting her on trial and then things I done.

[Eldest]

Tell her you're going to kill yourself.

[Stavi]

I thought you loved me.

[Eldest]

I thought you loved me.

[Stavi]

And then threaten to overdose on pills.

[Eldest]

Classic.

[Stavi]

There you go. So, yeah, man, those are your two options.

[Eldest]

That's what I would do. Do.

[Elvis]

Yeah, but get that crock pot going.

[Stavi]

As get crock by going, hopefully you're a manager of the deli section. And listen, if you haven't had a raise in years, maybe think about, you know, sprucing up the resume, putting some extracurriculars together, interning somewhere, I don't know what.

[Elvis]

But you know, unless you're bottom special skills, you're good at closing with older bronze.

[Stavi]

I could see there being some upward mobility though, you know, maybe even man managing a grocery store for sure.

[Eldest]

Those are pretty good jobs. Those are tough jobs.

[Elvis]

You know what you do?

[Eldest]

Store manager.

[Elvis]

You want the Machiavellian, whatever that is.

[Stavi]

Machiavellian, Yep.

[Elvis]

You want the Machiavellian approach.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Elvis]

You become general manager, get rid of anybody that knows anything.

[Stavi]

Right, right, right.

[Elvis]

And you're in the clear.

[Stavi]

Smart, smart, smart. Beautiful, beautiful.

[Elvis]

Or if you want to keep tapping the old lady, bring her up to assistant general manager.

[Eldest]

Start working late nights, weekends.

[Stavi]

Folks. You know, starting your own business can be damn intimidating. It's a lonely task. All the hat you got to wear, all the hats. You're wearing a top hat, you're wearing a bowler, you're wearing a koofie on top of that. Too many hats. I know that as a one man band, podcaster, comedian, merch salesman, I did it and it was a pain in the ass. That was before I had my friends over at Shopify involved. And look, you're probably starting your own small business. You're probably. You got too many hats on yourself. You know what I mean? I don't know what you're doing. Maybe you're selling soaps. You're mixing the soap, you're doing the website. You're trying to keep track of everything. Well, why don't you stop messing around and help with the number one free frickin e commerce platform. That's right. It's Shopify. Wait, what is that? We just made another sale on the Stavi baby on Stavi biz store. Must have been a T shirt or a calendar. Those are coming up quick. Shopify is the commerce commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all E commerce in the United States. From household names like Mattel and Gymshark Sharks to brands just getting started. We're one of them. Like I said. Look, get your damn business off the damn ground with Shopify. If you're ready to sell, you're ready to for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com Go to shopify.comstavi shopify.comstavi Holy crap. What else we got? LD okay, take your time.

[Eldest]

More.

[Caller 2]

Hi, long time listener, first time caller and I'm having a bit of a dog dilemma. You see, back at home, I'm in college, so I different, you know, you get it. Okay. So back at home I have this super cute little fluffy black and white dog and my mom takes her on walks in the morning and at night. We just recently got these new neighbors. The guy happens to be a cop. On two occasions, these people's dogs have gotten out and I guess you could say like attacked my mom and my dog. They never really got their teeth on her or anything like that. This is unfortunately something that has happened before. So there my mom kind of has a drill. She'll pick up my dog and like, you know, yell at this dog, dogs. Because on the same road they have been attacked by a different neighbor's dog who got let out and did manage to get their teeth on my dog. She's fine now, but a traumatizing event. And this happened now with these same people twice. And we don't know what to do. We, you know, we thought of calling animal control, but we just don't want to start beef with like this cop neighbor of ours. But I mean, at this point, his dogs have ran up on my dogs twice. And every time like this lady comes out and is like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like I thought they were on a leash. And it's like, you dumb bitch. Like, you know your dog is on a leash because you put them on the leash. What do you mean you don't know? So we just don't know what to do. We tried like talking to them and stuff, but like after the first time and it happened a second time. So clearly nothing got through to them. So, yeah, just let us know, huh?

[Stavi]

This is interesting.

[Elvis]

I mean, the cop things are relevant.

[Stavi]

You think it's irrelevant?

[Elvis]

You think he's the only guy in the town with a gun?

[Eldest]

What are we doing here?

[Elvis]

Out of here.

[Stavi]

I like that over here. I like that. I like we're an old guy with.

[Elvis]

A up face and two thumbs up dogs.

[Eldest]

As a guy with a crazy dog.

[Stavi]

You do have a crazy.

[Eldest]

I got a crazy dog. They know. They're well aware. If you have a dog that is like doing that multiple times, you know how your dog react. It's just like, that's not the Only two times it's ever happened. They act like that. And I think the guy that. This guy being a cop is a positive. It's like he's aware of what will happen if they bite your mom or that dog.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

If they kill that like those dogs will get put down essentially if they bite your.

[Elvis]

Which you don't want, but you don't want.

[Eldest]

So I think you just go to the cop, go like guys, we have to figure out how to. Otherwise my mom's gonna get bit, my dog's gonna get killed, your dog's gonna get put down. Like.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Nobody wins in this.

[Elvis]

I think unfortunately it has to happen one more time. You miss your window.

[Stavi]

I kind of agree with you.

[Eldest]

I don't at all. I just. I'd go knock on the door and just say, hey, how do we. Not like a combatively but like how. How do we solve this?

[Stavi]

But it. Out of the blue, if it hasn't been a problem again, it doesn't have.

[Eldest]

To be a full.

[Elvis]

You look like a psycho.

[Stavi]

It doesn't have to be a full on attack.

[Elvis]

Unless she comes home from school on Thanksgiving. Hey, listen, while I was away, I know this happened a couple of times. Listen, my dog's already been attacked right By. By another thing. My mom's. My, my mom's, you know, older, whatever. You know what I mean?

[Stavi]

She doesn't want to stir the. But me, I'm antifa. I'm a. I'm in college. I'm getting my brain poison poisoned by.

[Eldest]

Liberals and I know that co.

[Elvis]

Problem name and badge number. Start hitting him with that.

[Eldest]

Just so you know, I am recording.

[Stavi]

I'm recording you. I am recording you. It is my first amendment right to record you. Yeah, go at him like that, he'll love that.

[Elvis]

Your ass beat by a cop.

[Stavi]

But I, But I like that though. But I. I see what F is saying where it's like it look it. It is weird to. You've had this conversation. It's happened twice and you've talked to them, you know, both times. You kind of. It doesn't have to be a full on attack, but if there's even like. If you even see them on without a leash or whatever, you just have to be like, hey, this has happened too many times.

[Elvis]

Yeah, she could step in here. She's home. I haven't been home. I haven't seen it.

[Stavi]

Right, right.

[Elvis]

She also said the lady was like, you know when they're really bad people, they don't even fucking say, well, it's your dog's. Fault. At least lady came. I'm so sorry. I thought they were on a leash. Whatever, you know, you get in that situation, you start. You start back. Backpedaling.

[Stavi]

That's why I'm saying. And because of her, like, behaviors, why I'm saying, like, okay, wait for a very small infraction.

[Eldest]

Be like, hey, if they're barking when you get out of the car, or whatever.

[Stavi]

You guys have been reasonable. I get that. But I'm sorry, if. If another attack happens, I have to call animal control. So please, please, we don't want that to happen. Please. And it sucks to tell you, like, okay, hopefully the next one could be horrible. But it's like, hopefully something minor happens or, like, fully says, you coming back. That is kind of a chance to be like, hey, my mom told me what's going on. I just want to, like, check in here because she's, you know, she's nervous.

[Eldest]

She's getting older. Whatever, whatever. It's not like she, you know. Yeah, she's not gonna be able to maybe save it every time or if it happens again.

[Elvis]

You said you're in college, you go home, you seduce the cop, right? Get that on tape.

[Stavi]

Get it on tape.

[Eldest]

Cream pile. Yeah.

[Elvis]

No, but I'm saying maybe when you come home, you can go over. Hey, listen, I brought over, I. I don't know, some dog treats for the dogs. I just wanted to ask you again.

[Stavi]

Really? Poison in the dog treats?

[Elvis]

Pull a Putin on him?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Plutonium at college.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

You know, you bring. You bring a little basket over stuff. Listen, I don't want to seem like a dick and, you know.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Elvis]

You know something?

[Eldest]

I don't know.

[Stavi]

And.

[Eldest]

And.

[Stavi]

But I see what you guys are saying, that the cop. I'm with her in terms of. Like, I would. Because just, you know, just what I know of the cops in my life, the cops I've been around. Let's just say I could see them not taking kindly to being reported and then making your life miserable. But I say if you've got. If you. That's why it sucks. You have to tread a little lighter here. But I also think you guys make a good point where it's like, he understands what's.

[Eldest]

Yeah, they're also dog. So it's like, listen, if your dog bites my. Kills my dog or bites my mom, like, we all lose our dogs here. Like, this is. It's not like one person wins. Like, this gets up for everybody.

[Elvis]

You're new, you're new.

[Caller 2]

You're.

[Elvis]

You're new here since you said they just moved in, right?

[Stavi]

Yeah, you know.

[Elvis]

You sure?

[Eldest]

Small town.

[Elvis]

Small town. You know what I mean.

[Stavi]

We don't do things like that around here.

[Elvis]

Differently out here. Okay. I know what you're used to in the big city.

[Eldest]

Yeah?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Getting real. Tulsa. King.

[Stavi]

You got something fun for us to go out on here, Eldis?

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Ryan D]

Here's a little health tip.

[Stavi]

Wonderful.

[Caller 2]

All right. Jesus Christ. Now I'm using this hotline as if it's your real fucking voicemail. What's up, Stav? Hi, Eldis. I'm watching episode one of season three. Stavi gets ripped.

[Caller 1]

Ripped.

[Caller 2]

As a fellow zepbound baddie. As a fellow fat ass. I'm with you, Stav. We're losing weight together on the juice. All right. I am a nutrition major and I work with several doctors. You are injecting too far away from your belly button, Stav.

[Eldest]

I did notice that.

[Caller 2]

You got to inject closer to your belly button. There's a whole thing about the injection site and how potent, how the potency affects you. When you inject it closer or farther away on your stomach, you got to inject closer, buddy. The needs to seep into those intestines. I love you. I'm there with you.

[Stavi]

This is insane. This is actually helpful.

[Caller 2]

You are having a great day. Bye, guys. I love you.

[Elvis]

Wow, that's so crazy, because they've told me the same thing. And with the. With the oic. It was. You went one here, one here.

[Eldest]

Is it naran.

[Elvis]

Yeah, no, through, like, one week here, one week here. I think maybe one week here, one week here. I think I'm doing one potato, two potato.

[Stavi]

Yeah, with the.

[Elvis]

Yeah, with the zeppelin. It's three inches from your belly button.

[Stavi]

What the.

[Eldest]

I saw you side.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I'm on the side. I'm around here.

[Eldest]

Yeah, just right around here. I. I mean, I don't know. I don't listen. I don't know. They told me two inches. So when I saw you side saddle it, I'm like, oh, maybe I'm doing it wrong.

[Stavi]

Maybe.

[Eldest]

Maybe I'm like, not. I got bet if. But maybe I'm like, oh, maybe I literally saw it when. Maybe the location occasion doesn't matter.

[Elvis]

I don't get. Unless it goes into a vein. I don't understand how it works anyway.

[Stavi]

Yeah, we're too stupid to get that.

[Elvis]

What? It goes into the fat, and then where does it go from there?

[Stavi]

Who knows, man? We're never gonna figure that out, right? Yeah, I know.

[Eldest]

We're also the three Guys eating ourselves to death.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldest]

Like maybe we're not the guys to crack.

[Elvis]

I know the cheeseburger goes here, goes through here, and it comes out my poopy hole.

[Stavi]

That's actually. I was so ready to be like, eldest you. Some guy telling me to. Hey, man, calories in calories. I love that note where it's like, you don't think I know that I don't have willpower.

[Elvis]

You.

[Stavi]

You think you're the. And part of the reason we even did this series is because everyone there's. If there's one thing people love commenting on, it's someone trying to lose weight.

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Stavi]

Because it's either they're. They're. They want to support you. They. Or they want to call you a fat piece of shit or they want to tell you that you did it wrong. Where they want to brag about the. Their own weight loss.

[Elvis]

Yeah. It.

[Eldest]

Really apologize for those comments. It's easy, dude.

[Elvis]

Just walk up here on a treadmill for half an hour. Chicken and rice, ground beef. No.

[Stavi]

Just stop eating. It's like, I am an addict.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

This is the. You don't think. Look at the rest of my life. I work hard to do a lot of. I've done a lot of. That's hard. You think if I couldn't. If I could just not eat, I wouldn't. I just have a. Hilarious. And I know you don't get it because you eat every day and it doesn't affect. Affect you. But I don't drink. I don't hit my wife. I don't do whatever.

[Eldest]

Yeah. Are you giving me a pill for that?

[Elvis]

Stop me. Do you not drink at all?

[Stavi]

I kind of stopped drinking. For health reasons. No, because I'm trying to. I'm trying to just like I was sober for a year and then I kind of was. You know, I would drink a little bit. I would smoke a little bit.

[Elvis]

Smoking a little bit still.

[Stavi]

I gotta get. I gotta cut that too. That's kind of.

[Elvis]

Any shrooms or anything like that?

[Stavi]

I will do shrooms on a special occasion. I haven't in a while.

[Elvis]

But never micro dose. You mean you. If you're doing a them you're getting.

[Stavi]

I would get up, but I would do that when I'm like, you know, I've made a plan. It's vacation. I'm not stressed out.

[Elvis]

I got you.

[Stavi]

And even a cocktail. I honestly have realized weed is so much more my problem than drinking.

[Elvis]

Oh.

[Stavi]

If I Like when I was in Venice, I'm gonna have a couple cocktail you know, I go to. I go to, like, if I. If it's a beautiful day, I'm with my friends, we're on a rooftop.

[Eldest]

I'll have a apple spritz or something.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

If I'm. If I'm barbecuing, I'll have a brewski. But it's like, it's not.

[Eldest]

It's more of a vibe thing.

[Stavi]

It's totally.

[Eldest]

You're not drinking to get up.

[Stavi]

Yes. I have stopped drinking to get up.

[Eldest]

I have not done.

[Elvis]

That's the way. I can't drink. I can't go to a barbecue.

[Eldest]

I'm not a vibe guy.

[Elvis]

I can go to a dark bar in LA and be like, we're going to be here for eight hours and we're going to get obliterated.

[Stavi]

That sounds fun as. And don't get me wrong, I will probably have one of those every year. Time to treat myself.

[Eldest]

That's also a vibe thing. Yeah. Like, I go golfing once, but if I go to.

[Elvis]

If I go to a barbecue bar, if I go to a barbecue and I have like one or two beers, I like, I. I like, feel weird. Like, I want more.

[Stavi]

I know you mean. Honestly, at barbecues, I've actually started going na. Beer.

[Elvis]

Nice.

[Stavi]

Because it's so much about the vibe of just holding a beer in your hand.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know, and having a dog or whatever that I. I used to just have a beer or two, but then I did. Even that kind of gets you feeling like, I should have 12 of these.

[Elvis]

Yeah. Like, you get to that point, it's like, we're. We're off to shore. Let's go, yo. But I just lower the sales and hit the gas.

[Stavi]

It just does suck, though, because a lot of the comments will be like, cut out sodas, cut out drinking. And I'm like, I have done all this. Wait, what? Yeah. And the. The worst part is, like, I have got out a lot of. Right. Like, that's supposed to. People. Like, I stopped drink. I stop. I switched to diet sodas and I dropped 40 pounds. Like, I did that 10 years ago.

[Eldest]

Yeah. This is me doing a lot of things pretty well.

[Stavi]

Doing a lot of stuff. Except when I'm. You know, every once in a while I will hit the kitchen and just throw 3, 000 calories down my gullet.

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Stavi]

Like, it's nothing.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I love it. And nothing makes me feel better.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

It's crazy.

[Stavi]

So up. I love it so much.

[Eldest]

I did it yesterday.

[Elvis]

I was telling somebody about this, like, you know, a Few weeks ago, I was at. I was home at my mom's house. And, you know, she's up to bed at like 8:30. It's just me in the refrigerator.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And you. You won't go to bed till 9, 9:15.

[Elvis]

Night owl. So I got 45 minutes to kill. But it's like, I go in, I pull out. I pull out a sleeve of Thomas's English muffins.

[Stavi]

A sleeve of.

[Elvis]

You know what I mean? I take the English muffins out.

[Stavi]

Look at them.

[Elvis]

She got the butter on the counter. It's right next to the toaster.

[Stavi]

It would be.

[Elvis]

No, I can't just have one of those, right? I eat like five.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

I got one go going. Water, one. And the first one, I'll do it light so I can get it in me. Let the other one, you know, prime the pump. Yeah.

[Stavi]

First one just to get it started.

[Elvis]

It's not.

[Stavi]

It's not.

[Elvis]

And like, I know it's not like, I mean that, like. Wait a minute. A box English muffins.

[Stavi]

No. You just can't stop.

[Elvis]

Can't stop, won't stop.

[Stavi]

I'm with you. Even the pro. The protein bars start getting that way too. At first it's like, and a. And a Dasani. And then it's like.

[Elvis]

You know those barbells, they're like stickers bars.

[Stavi]

They are like. They are like.

[Elvis]

You know what's really good? I. I don't know what the name of them is. Swoop or Smooth or something. They're like marshmallow.

[Stavi]

Oh, the puff ones. Those are unbelievable. Those are straight up candy.

[Elvis]

Candy.

[Eldest]

They.

[Stavi]

Those barely have any protein. They have like 11 grams of protein.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And they're like, it's a protein bar. So I get a. It's a candy bar. Yeah. Yeah. But they are good.

[Elvis]

They're great.

[Stavi]

But that's very good. That actually is good advice. I will. I am due for another shot in a couple days, and I will take your advice and I will see how it affects me.

[Ryan D]

That just shows truly how shitty your doctor actually is. Like, didn't even, like, think to mention.

[Stavi]

I need a real doctor. I just got a nurse practitioner that would. That would prescribe me whatever I asked for.

[Eldest]

Dude, I went to this.

[Elvis]

I put it in your eyeball.

[Eldest]

I went to this woman in midtown. I just typed in fat doctor. And dude, she was like, did you, like, 75 years old, came in with. Wearing high heels, big fake tits. I love that baseball back. She's like, what do you want?

[Stavi]

I'm like, now we're talking now we're talking.

[Eldest]

She's like, it's a combo. It's Ozempic and zepbound. We fused them together. Dude, I would do. I feel like my eyes were falling out of my head, dude.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I need a real doctor. But yes, thank you. That actually is great advice and I can't wait to.

[Elvis]

Yeah, it is.

[Stavi]

To see what happens now that I will be going closer to the belly button.

[Eldest]

Hopefully it affects me with somebody else before that. That don't.

[Elvis]

No, it's belly button for sure.

[Stavi]

Oh, you guys are both zip bound guys.

[Elvis]

Yeah, it's all about the belly button.

[Eldest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And it's working great.

[Eldest]

Hey, I'm down. I'm down £40.

[Stavi]

You know, maybe I'll stick to how I'm doing. It matters.

[Elvis]

Mac and cheese. I was promised a meal when I came over there. Take a nice joint like this. You're not putting out something. You complain about the venison festival. I don't see a charcuterie board downstairs.

[Stavi]

Guys. Thank you so much.

[Elvis]

We love you.

[Stavi]

We're always happy to have you here. Go see the boys at the Met, December 13. We will get this out around that time. We don't know when exactly, but you know, it's fall, winter season here at Stavi's World. Go see the boys, come see us on the road. We probably, I think that same week. That's when we're in Boston.

[Eldest]

Right.

[Stavi]

Eldis, you go the 13th. December 13th.

[Ryan D]

Right.

[Stavi]

We're at the Wilbur. So if you're in Boston, come see us. You're in Philly. Come see the boys and we will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye, guys.

[Elvis]

Bye.

[Stavi]

Bye.

[Eldest]

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[Stavi]

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[Elvis]

Play social casino void where prohibited.

[Eldest]

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[Elvis]

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[Eldest]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

[Elvis]

Cut the camera.

[Eldest]

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[Ryan D]

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[Eldest]

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[Stavi]

Are you.

[Eldest]

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