#155 - Demi Adejuyigbe

Summary

Stavvy’s World #155 - Demi Adejuyigbe (November 17, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this lively, laughter-filled episode of Stavvy’s World, comedian and musician Demi Adejuyigbe joins host Stavros Halkias and co-host Eldis for a deep-dive hangout. Touching on topics from the chaos (and comfort) of communal living, the joys of baking, cultural upbringings, comedy movies, friendship dynamics, family obligations, relationship anxieties, and the darkly hilarious state of American politics, the trio brings their trademark blend of heartfelt honesty and razor-sharp silliness. Listener voicemails get the crew’s signature blend of empathy, commiseration, and roasting.

---

Main Themes & Talking Points

1. Roommate Woes, Baking Obsessions, and 'Domestic' Turf Wars

Communal Living & “Bad Roommates”

• The group reminisces about the universal struggles of apartment living:
  • How one person letting dishes pile up can change the whole vibe (“I truly was...the bad element in every single apartment I’ve ever—” Eldis, 02:31).
  • Stav and Demi commiserate about being “worse roommates” in the kitchen, especially when cooking a lot means making a mess.
  • Demi shares the horror of having a roommate reorganize the kitchen without consulting him—“Oh no, you need to move out.” (05:08).

Baking as Therapy

• Demi describes how he took up baking “for control” during the pandemic, likening it to “microdosing control” (04:49).
• Baking fruit pies—especially a legendary mango pie with graham cracker or gingersnap crust—became both a creative outlet and a way to connect with others (“That’s now a recipe in the New York Times...I’ve got it down, it’s in my brain.” Demi, 07:31).
• The group jokes about the fine line between doing something out of love and just being obsessed (“If he writes you 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets.” Stavi, 10:09).

“I felt like that’s the closest I’m gonna get to feeling like how a mother feels, where she’s like, ‘You don’t appreciate anything I do, you little shit.’”
— Demi (05:51)

2. Cultural Upbringings, Family, and Where to Raise Kids

Culture, College, and the Immigrant Experience

• Demi shares his Nigerian-Texan upbringing and how large immigrant communities form via family, college, and church (14:16).
• Conversation shifts to how cultural values impact career choices and family life (“With black and African communities…you have to go to college. Past that, you’ll figure it out.” Demi, 16:07).

Community & Religion

• Stav and Demi debate the pros and cons of raising kids in big cities versus having a strong ethnic/cultural community—do you lose and gain different things in each scenario? (19:22)
• Church as a community anchor, less for belief, more for social structure—Stav reflects on wanting kids to “figure it out for themselves.”

Do You Want Kids?

• The conversation turns personal as the hosts reflect on their desire (or not) to become parents and the appeal of being a “fun uncle” instead (20:54).

3. Friendship, Gender Dynamics & Dating Realities

Being ‘A Girl Dad’ vs. The Bro Crew

• Demi admits he’s “destined to be a girl dad” and has always found it easier to click with women as close friends (26:41).
• Stav relates his own lifelong comfort with bro friendships and how “being dumb as shit with your bros” is uniquely comforting (27:43).
• Both reflect on the pitfalls of learning (too late) that “being friends first” is usually a losing strategy in dating (32:00).

"It's like girls are video games: I put in enough time, I've nice’d her 15 times, then they give me pussy."
— Stavi (32:44)

4. Comedy Movies, Success & Perspective

Movie Nostalgia

• The group nerds out about their favorite comedies (“Hot Rod,” “Night at the Roxbury,” “Ocean’s Eleven”), the strange construction of SNL movies, and the joy of watching not-so-great comedies in a group (45:11).
• They praise “Night at the Roxbury” as an underappreciated classic—and laugh about Will Ferrell being the supporting star to Chris Kattan (47:01).
• The resurgence (for better or worse) of parody films, and debate over which vibes are coming back in comedy (40:46).

Making It—Or Not

• Demi and Stav reflect on how their own careers have outpaced their early dreams (“I just wanted to headline shitty comedy clubs…It’s been surreal to be like, what do I do now?” Stavi, 51:34).
• The stress of social media, public perception, and not fitting the classic “I made it” mold (53:40).

5. Listener Advice Calls (Timestamps Below)

Cheating Friend Dilemma [58:01]

• Listener’s friend cheated, bragged about it, and then the girlfriend came to the listener’s partner devastated.
• Consensus: Callers should confront friends about sleaziness, especially when it’s so egregious. Silence isn’t virtuous.

“If a guy comes to you being like, ‘Pretty cool, huh?’—your gut is to just let it go, but you gotta be honest, like, ‘I don’t know, I don’t think this is cool.’”
—Demi (62:06)

Family Obligations Overload [66:45]

• A woman is overwhelmed by her boyfriend’s constant family gatherings and wonders how many she “has” to attend.
• Key advice: Find what’s truly expected. Communicate with your partner about what’s important, and negotiate attendance—don’t be guilted by the family’s “culture” (72:45).

Proposal Cold Feet [74:50]

• A 25-year-old man, together since college, is nervous about “never being with someone else” as he shops for engagement rings.
• Demi and Stav validate “cold feet” as normal—finding other people attractive doesn’t mean you’re making a mistake, but check your real reasons for proposing (77:21).

When Politics Break Friendships [81:09]

• Caller is politically left, friend is MAGA, wants him to join ICE (!). The tension causes rifts.
• Stav and Eldis: Cut people out when it becomes demeaning or beyond debate; but give people a chance before writing them off (85:39).

“How Weird is Too Weird on Dates?” [93:25]

• Caller wonders how much to let their freak flag fly right away on dates.
• Demi: Be authentically yourself—a freaky date is “high risk, high reward.” Stav: But maybe save your weirdest bits for later, so you don’t “hit everyone with…guns blazing” (98:23).

Bonus: The Cartoon Porn Callback [100:04]

• A previous caller, roasted for liking “cartoon thirst traps” on Instagram, calls back—Stav and Demi lovingly roast him again, but urge honesty about desires (101:32).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Baking and Control:
  “It gives me—I keep saying—it’s like microdosing control, where I’m just like, I have a task...”
  — Demi (04:49)

• On Partner’s Cleaning Without Asking:
  “Oh, no, you need to move out.”
  — Demi (05:08)

• On Making It In Comedy:
  “It’s nice being old and mediocre and not really giving a fuck.”
  — Stavi (51:19)

• On Meeting Your Heroes’ Timeline:
  “You hear about a 22-year-old starring in a FOX show and you’re just like, god damn it, I’m really fucked up. Nah, you’re not.”
  — Demi (50:40)

• On Dealing with a Friend’s Cheating:
  “At the end of the day, you want honesty from your friends—even if it means telling them ‘this thing sucks.’”
  — Demi (64:29)

• On High-Risk Dating Vulnerability:
  “The best way to date—the times I’ve ever had the best date, has always been like: be fucking crazy.”
  — Demi (97:31)

• On Cartoon Instagram Follows:
  “The fact you felt the need to call back and be like, ‘Stop saying I jack off to cartoons’…”
  — Eldis (101:32)

---

Key Voicemail Segments & Timestamps

• [58:01] — Cheating Friend Dilemma
• [66:45] — Family Obligations Overload
• [74:50] — Cold Feet About Proposing
• [81:09] — Political Rift with Friend (ICE)
• [93:25] — Dating and When to Show True Weirdness
• [100:04] — Cartoon Instagram Callback

---

Takeaways & Tone

This episode delivers Stavvy’s World at its best: honest, hilarious, sometimes profane, and always a little heartwarming beneath the goofball energy. Demi fits in beautifully—quick-witted, open, and slightly self-deprecating about his baking, his upbringing, and his own weirdness. Advice is given with clarity, wisdom, and plenty of laughter (“We’re not anti-cheating, but we are anti-bragging about it!”). And at every turn, the crew isn’t afraid to roast both themselves and their listeners—but always with a big-hearted wink.

---

Side note: Demi’s new special “Demi the Ju Bay is Going to Do One Backflip” is out (or about to drop) on Dropout.

Transcript

[Stavi]

Here for the Lowes early Black Friday deals. You're right on time. For some of our biggest savings, we're talking up to 50% off. Select major appliances, plus up to an extra 25% off when you bundle. Select major appliances. Holiday lights going up soon. Select ladders are up to 50% off. Right now. Get Black Friday prices without the Black Friday crowds.

[Eldis]

Lowes we help you Save.

[Stavi]

Valid through 1119. Selection varies by location. Select locations only while supplies last. See lowe's.com for more details.

[Eldis]

Hey, gang. In order to support our show, we need the help of some excellent advertisers, and we want to make sure those advertisers are ones you'll actually want to hear about. So we need to learn a little bit more about you to make that possible. What I need you to do is go to podsurvey.com stavi and take a quick anonymous survey that will help us get to know you better. That way, we can bring on advertisers you won't want to skip. We. Once you've completed the quick survey, you can enter for a Chance to win $100Amazon gift card. Terms and conditions apply. Again, that's podsurvey.com s t a V V Y. Thanks for your help, Opa. Welcome, everybody, to stop his world. 904-800-stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We got Demi Duibe on the couch. Thanks for coming, big dog. Thank you for being here.

[Stavi]

There's such a large audience in front. That's not a sound.

[Eldis]

Yeah, this. The bedroom goes back. The bedroom goes real back. We are here. This is actually the first time.

[Caller/Guest]

You.

[Eldis]

Know, listeners of the show know that we have since rented half of the studio to our friends who just live here, but this is the first time they've been going about their business and are just in their living room listening to a podcast happen.

[Stavi]

I feel like they should have free reign to pop in. Wait, a roommate would.

[Eldis]

That's true. Just fucking be like, did you take. Well, my roommates would be like, hey, did you see where my Insert literally anything toilet paper. I mean, not that I was.

[Stavi]

Hey, we need to have a. I.

[Eldis]

Would love to just talk real quick.

[Stavi]

About the dish situation. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah.

[Stavi]

Like, I don't want to be. I don't want to be that guy. But, like, we all live here, man.

[Eldis]

Yeah, dude, I am a much better. My podcast is a much better roommate than I am because I really. I truly was. I. And just. It's just. It's just reality. I'm the guy who. I'm the guy who set the floor. I'm like, broken window theory. Giuliani was like, one broken window. And it's like, just crime just happens.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eldis]

I don't know that that's true of society, but in a fucking small apartment, one guy doesn't do his dishes, everything. One guy leaves a fucking shirt on the ground. And believe me, I was the bad element in every single apartment I've ever.

[Stavi]

I feel like I was always like, I got to keep the living room clean just because that's the common area. But it would be like, the kitchen would be the place where I'm like, I'm trying, but I also. I cook and I bake all the time. So I'm just. At a certain point, I'm like, you gotta accept it.

[Eldis]

Of course.

[Stavi]

Gotta accept that that's gonna be that way.

[Eldis]

Oh, we're talking communal goodies.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Oh, dude. That they see. I would. I cooked. I would cook and use every dish. I would use every. And they would be like, one and a half servings for me. And then I would be like, no one would get anything out.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And it would just. So your two options were. I'm trying to be healthy. Let me, you know, make vegetables and use literally every pan we ever had. And then while be pissed off because it wasn't so good and not really clean the fucking thing. Or I'm ordering so much takeout that it's like the trash is just filled with. There's a new bag of.

[Stavi]

Do you feel like that is a measurement of, like, how you're doing, where it's like, I'm cooking a lot versus, like, I'm ordering takeout?

[Eldis]

I'm not.

[Stavi]

I'm in a bad spot.

[Eldis]

For me, it is absolutely. Well, there's no good spot.

[Stavi]

Okay.

[Eldis]

Yeah, we're.

[Stavi]

We're at a six is the best, dude.

[Eldis]

Literally for whenever. Whenever I had, like, I don't think. Because me and elders used to live together for a while. I don't know that I've ever been. I was gonna say, I don't know that I ever been mentally stable when I had roommates, but I don't know that I've just ever been mentally stable.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldis]

Like, I think that's.

[Stavi]

I mean, part and parcel for a comedian. It's like, yeah, we're doing the best when it's just, like, we're on stage a lot, but that's because we're running from something.

[Eldis]

100% love. Running from everything. Love being away from my Thoughts?

[Stavi]

Absolutely.

[Eldis]

It stresses me out to be busy. But, like, when I see the calendar filling up, like, the last couple of weeks, we've. I've been trying to, like, plan and take it easy. I'm useless. In the next couple of weeks, we fill up the calendar, I'll. I'll be pissed. I'll be like, oh, I'm so busy.

[Stavi]

But yes. And you have to talk about it. Like, just like. I'm just. I need a break, man. The second Get a break. What the fuck would I do? What do I do? I need a routine. Goddamn. When I was. The last time I was living with someone, I had a roommate through the pandemic, and it was like I was baking every day. Just as a thing. I needed a task. I needed a thing to do.

[Eldis]

A baking guy during the. We all went different ways.

[Stavi]

You were baking. I was a baking guy a little bit before and then a lot during the pandemic. And still.

[Eldis]

Still a lot.

[Stavi]

Just as I feel like it's like. It gives me. I keep saying it's like microdosing control, where I'm just like, sure. I have this thing that I have a task with.

[Eldis]

Very precise, too.

[Stavi]

Yes. And it feels great. And. But I remember there was one day I came home, and my roommate at the time was just like, hey, I reorganized the kitchen. You're welcome. And I was like, oh, no, you need to move out.

[Eldis]

Oh, no.

[Stavi]

And I texted, like, the next morning, just like, I remember. You remember how when we moved here, you told me that you were gonna look for your own place? Do you. And he was like, yeah, okay. And it was like, that was the breaking point for me. I was like, I actually need to be crazy. This one, like, square foot of.

[Eldis]

That's so funny.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

He was like, oh, yeah, it's all good. I got. Don't worry about the measuring cups. They're somewhere completely different.

[Stavi]

He straight up, was like. I was like, oh, where are, like, the spoon. Like, the. The big spoons? He's like, oh, I put them away. I didn't think you used them. I was like, the.

[Eldis]

What about that banana bread you've been munching on every other day? You.

[Stavi]

I baked all the time for both of us. And was like, oh, yeah, take this. And so the idea that he was just like, he's not using this.

[Eldis]

I'm like, this would kill me.

[Stavi]

I felt like, did he ever cook? Occasionally, but not really. Wow.

[Eldis]

It also.

[Stavi]

It felt. I was like, that's the closest I'm gonna get to feeling, like, how, like, A mother feels where she's like, you don't appreciate anything I do, you little shit.

[Eldis]

Dude, that would fucking drive me insane. Yeah, I guess for me, the equivalent would be like, hey, I put. I organized all the weed and video game controllers. I guess I'm trying to think, like, what my. Or if you, like, put my. Put my pints in a different place in the freezer, that would piss me off. Yeah, I really was useless. I mean, I don't think I ever. On Christmas, I would buy a Christmas tree, like, for Europe.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Communally, that was.

[Stavi]

I love that. I feel like I stopped my parents. I'm always just like, hey, you come to California and visit me because I'm like, I want to decorate. I go home, they're like, hey, if you want to decorate, I'm like, I'm not decorating your house.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

So you come to mine and I'll decorate my place. But it was like, when I had a roommate, I was also just like, I'm decorating because I want to. I need to get in the festival season. He's just like, cool, yeah, yeah, I'll accept it.

[Eldis]

What were you. How, like, what were your roommates? Setups were like, friends. Were they randoms? Was it like.

[Stavi]

Ever since I've been in la, it's been friends. It's been like, really good friends. And then occasionally it's like, my friend will be like, two times it happened that it was like, a friend would move to New York and then another, like, comedian would move in. And I feel like there was a time where it would be like, I think I'm like, the good luck Chuck for comedians who then moved to New York. And I hear about them like, oh, they're doing really well. That's great for them.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah. They eat your fucking scones and now all of a sudden, they. Development deal.

[Stavi]

Exactly.

[Eldis]

What are your. What are your Go to baking? What are we talking about? What's your favorite thing to bake? What are some things you're excited about? Some new ones you want to throw in there. But what's like Old Reliable if you really had to wow someone with your. With a baked good?

[Stavi]

I feel like Old Reliable for me is like, pies in general. Like, my friend. My friend's mom wanted, like, one Thanksgiving, when I'd first met this friend, he introduced me to his mom's mango pie, which is now a recipe that's like in the New York Times. But it's like, I've got it down to, like, it's in my brain I can make it any time. It's fucking good. It's like a custardy pie with like a graham cracker crust. Sometimes you make a ginger snap crust. It gives it a little kick.

[Eldis]

Good God.

[Stavi]

Really good. Shit.

[Eldis]

I might need a second.

[Advertiser Voice]

I'm getting.

[Eldis]

My dick is getting hard thinking about.

[Stavi]

Let'S go to a commercial.

[Eldis]

I've never even considered.

[Stavi]

Matt, you're fucking blowing my. I don't think about it either. And then you think it's like it's going to. Yeah, it's like a gelatin.

[Eldis]

It's really good. That's awesome. Where's that? Where are they from? Where's that?

[Stavi]

Like, from India?

[Eldis]

Sick, dude.

[Stavi]

It's really good.

[Eldis]

All right, so then you. So mango.

[Stavi]

I mean, mango.

[Eldis]

If I came to a house and I saw mango pie, something I haven't even heard of, and it's executed beautifully. Yeah, that would be fun. And it's like, it's extra impressive because it's like, it's not. You're not Indian, right? Like, when you've got. When you've got a trick up your sleeve from a totally different culture.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Eldis]

You're like, I'm a learned, world traveled man. I completely nailed their like. Like A Friend's cuisine. And you've never heard of it. It's like you're scoring. Like, you're scoring so much.

[Stavi]

Wow. This guy's so cultured. I'm just like, yes. I learned this in Eagle Rock.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I learned it.

[Stavi]

I learned it 20 minutes down the road. But yes.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Oh, I love that. The mango pie.

[Stavi]

I also, I. I love pies in general. I feel like when I get really excited when it's like a. Like a fruit pie that I can actually do, like the lattice or shapes.

[Eldis]

On top of like an apple, then you're really flexible.

[Stavi]

That's really what it is. I love when it's like a friend's birthday. I'm like, I'm writing happy birthday on it.

[Eldis]

In the.

[Stavi]

In the.

[Eldis]

That's big. Yeah, probably. I mean, look, I don't want to tell you what to do. I don't even know what your situation is, but you kind of got your proposal ready to go.

[Stavi]

The problem.

[Eldis]

Marry me in fucking pie crust.

[Stavi]

The thing is.

[Eldis]

Yeah, maybe a plus sized gal. I don't know what your tastes are.

[Stavi]

You know what? It's like that Louis Primus song, The bigger the figure. I got a woman. It's bigger. I was like, I'm feeding her. She loves it.

[Eldis]

Honestly, dude, I would love to see you with A big. I think that's an awesome couple.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Everyone's just like, he can't handle all that. I'm like, I'm smiling back at him. Like, I can't. It's true.

[Eldis]

That is a classic relationship. Whenever you see, like, a. Some people that are, like, mismatched physically, you're like, every. You're always like, what the Going on there? And it's always something awesome.

[Stavi]

Yeah. You're like, there's always something, like, Danny DeVito and Ray up, and you're like, they're in love.

[Eldis]

And they can. They can save money on mattresses. They're in a twin xl. They got plenty of room, you know?

[Stavi]

You know, I. The thing about, like, making, like, pies for women or something is, like, you know that quote that's like, if he writes you a sonnet, he loves you. If he writes you 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh.

[Stavi]

It's like, at that point, at this point, it's like, such a thing that I do for myself that people are like, well, he does this.

[Eldis]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

She would be like, oh, how many. How many pies have you baked for other women?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And the answer is a lot. Both platonically and romantically. A lot of times I'll just be like, do you want a pie? I'm bored.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Dude. That's incredible stuff. I respect that. I. I dabbled in making my own pies for Thanksgiving years ago, and it was a nice experience, but I've never gone back, and, you know, I'm more of a roast. I'm more of a meat guy.

[Stavi]

Totally.

[Eldis]

I'm. I'm going in there, but I would really love to add dessert to my repertoire, or at least get one. Really get, like, three awesome things. Fuck, dude. You might have inspired me.

[Stavi]

I feel like for Thanksgiving especially, there's a few things that you can do where it's like, this is easy and shareable, and you can show up with a thing, and people be like, this is festive. But it doesn't feel like everyone's gonna do it.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

Like a bar with some cranberry in it or some sort of, like, a.

[Eldis]

Little twist on it.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Like something pumpkin, something pecan, something apple. Just. You got so many fall flavors. You can just be like, I made this little thing, and it looks so impressive.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Were you, like, lick the spoon when mom was baking, kid?

[Stavi]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Eldis]

This is where it's all started.

[Stavi]

Exactly. Yeah. And I'm just trying to get back to that. Just like, of course this will fix me if I can just get back to those primal days of being six.

[Eldis]

Oh, dude. Licking the spoon. I have a memory. One of my literally best fucking Christmas memories is like my mom would make. My mom would make like she makes these like honey olive oil cookies that are incredible and she'll. But. But like they're not that great. They're not really lick the spoon fodder or whatever. And one year she made. She decided to make like a more custardy based like dessert. We call it Galactoburico. And she'll. She'll. She'll throw it in there too. And I. That thing. I. All the like extra cuffs. I just had a bowl of extra custard.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

As like, you know, that was my dinner. And then like I came back maybe three hours later and we had a basement set up where it was like in our kitchen there was like a shitty TV where we used to play like video games and we would like, you know, and. And you just kind of throw on TV and like snack truly again. Never been happier. And we had a specific crab dip from. From Price Club now. Now Costco. And it was. And I've. And was with these pita chips. And I just have a. My only my Christmas memory is licking. Not eating the pastry. Yeah. Licking the leftover custard out of a bowl. And then when my family was gone, coming back and eating like crab.

[Stavi]

Crab.

[Eldis]

I ate the whole fucking.

[Stavi]

Like I got yelled at crazy on sauces.

[Eldis]

I went crazy on just.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

On just creams.

[Stavi]

Yes, exactly.

[Eldis]

I don't even. And that's. That'll show you the. The system of a fat child didn't affect me at all. I took that like.

[Advertiser Voice]

Like that.

[Stavi]

My.

[Eldis]

My stomach's chin was so strong back then. I probably shit solid somehow. Even though that's what I put my body today. I'm done for weeks. Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah. It'll take you down. But there's something primal about the idea. It's like, because it's all the same type of food whether it's solid or not. But when it's like just a cream, it's almost you going like, I can sit back. I can slurp this. I don't have to work the jaw. It's just, it's just going. And just give me the stretch straight. Like, I don't.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I don't. I'm gonna take it exactly my jaw. Limiting factor on calorie consumption.

[Stavi]

Oh, those muscles. That's A three muscles. I feel like nowadays when I bake, I rarely eat the thing. It'll be like, this is just for someone else. But if I. If I taste it at all, it's like, in the process of making, I'll have the batter. I'm like, that's good. That's it. That's all I need for. It's solid.

[Eldis]

You just know it's good.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You're on the next level, dude.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I respect that. What did you have? Were you, like, a. Do you have a big family? Was it, like, tough to get in the mix with the desserts? It was.

[Stavi]

I. We had, like, a big extended family, which is shocking to me, because my family is from Nigeria.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And we moved to Plano, Texas. We lived in Irving when I was a kid, and then we moved to Plano, Texas, where I live most of my life. And still, like, they'll have, like, alumni reunions. And I'm like, how are there that many people from your college around here? And it's like, I think there was just a big exodus of Nigerian people to Texas to the point that now they're just like, yeah, all of your family and your relatives live within striking distance. They can come over. And I'm like, the house is packed. I got to just sit in my house for Thanksgiving or whatnot.

[Eldis]

Oh, interesting. So it was like. Yeah. Because, I mean, we had that, too at our school. There was, like, a ton of Nigerians who just. It felt like they were all. It was like a. Like, family.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And, like, I'm, like, my stereotype for Nigerians that they love college. Every Nigerian. Like, like, dude, every Nigerian, like, every college in Maryland was like. Like, the foreign students were. There were so many Nigerians where I was like, dude, this is for these motherfuckers. Love going to college. You're just. You just.

[Stavi]

This feels like a. Like, a selection biasing, which is, like, a lot of Nigerian people here. Nigeria must. But it's also like, well, white people are here, too.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Well, there were no Greek. I guess I'm thinking of, like, pure.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Eldis]

Probably. Like, there would be, like, a handful of Greek. Like, we didn't see any Albanians over there. Like, and, like, the. The Nigerian, like, student groups were always lit as hell. They were always. And, like, on, like, kids I went to, like, kids I went to high school with who then went to, like, my college. They, like, knew a ton of people from. And they weren't from Baltimore. And I was like, whoa, this is fucking, like. And so I get why, like, a Whole group just fucking comes and then that they just have a community there.

[Stavi]

Yeah, exactly. That's the thing also, is, like, if you're moving to a new country, you're like, we have to go where other people like us are.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Which is also how people, like, get, like, sort of stick to religion in a way where it's like, we're going to church for no reason other than we need to be in a similar place than we were.

[Eldis]

Totally.

[Stavi]

But I feel like with black and African communities, it is very much like your parents from the. The youngest age, just like, whatever, do whatever. But you have to go to college. It's a source of, like, you got to do this to prove to other people, to prove to us, whatever, Right. Then past that, it's like, you'll figure it out. Yeah, so I get that it's like the immigrant.

[Eldis]

Yeah, it's like the specific immigrant groups where it's like, some. Some immigrants come over and they go, like, right into some industries. And then some of them just like, yeah, we're get. We're fucking. Give us a couple generations. We're going to, you know, doctorates, all this other shit where it's like, Every Greek motherfucker I knew was like, let's. We're gonna be contractors. We're gonna fucking work diners. Like, yeah, we're gonna. And I would get. I would get made fun of growing up because I wanted to go to college. So funny, because they were like, we're working at our dad's carryout. Yeah, we already make fucking three grand a week or whatever.

[Stavi]

Four years of their money. Okay, do what. We'll see you here. Back here after that.

[Eldis]

And they were. They were like, young as fuck with, like, Nextels and, like, you know, they were just like. Because they were 14, and they were essentially like the. The weekend manager of a fucking restaurant.

[Stavi]

I missed that. I missed precocious young business boys.

[Eldis]

Yeah, dude.

[Stavi]

Like, standing outside. I want to be walking around the city, standing around, seeing them stand around. Bodegas.

[Eldis]

Hey, no, come here.

[Stavi]

Come here. Real second. I'm like, who are you talking. It's like, you are 16.

[Eldis]

Yeah, dude, for real.

[Stavi]

They know you're Schwinn.

[Eldis]

They would, like, I would go in. You know, they give you free pizza, and they would, like. They would, like, admonish a worker who was like, a grown man.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And they'd be like, the. I told you. And I'm like, this feels wrong.

[Stavi]

This feels crazy. Feels insane. It's like, I should be like, I'll beat Your ass. Don't talk to me like that.

[Eldis]

It was like a little. It was like watching King Josh. We had so many. King Joffrey, but their. Their kingdom was like, shitty crab cake pizza and shit like that. And I just remember being like, this is wrong. The world. This is like, we have little tyrants.

[Stavi]

We have, like. Does not feel good.

[Eldis]

Like, pizza Nepo babies, essentially.

[Stavi]

Yeah. If I ever saw a child be like, come here to a. To a grown man, I would just be like, somebody hit him.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I would be like, I think child abuse is okay now. Somebody hit this boy.

[Eldis]

Well, they were so fudgeing spoiled. I mean, all those kids were, like, fudgeing spoiled. Everyone. Everyone thinks that their kid is like. It was. Dude, it was just so funny. Where in Greek Town, it was like everyone was trying to be. It was all, like, almost like warring factions of different people all just, like, wanting to have prestige within the community. There was no. No one was that. There was, like, one rich guy who, like, made a lot of money because the roof of his root. The roof of his, like, machine shop collapsed. So he sued the place, and then he just invested it back in, and he became, like, a millionaire. But it was like, if that roof wasn't faulty. Right. You're not rich.

[Stavi]

Does he have. Did he have the energy of, like, everyone bow down to me for, like, he's like, I worked hard for this, and it's like, kind of roof felon.

[Eldis]

Well, he kind of became like, yeah, he would be. And, you know, I remember going to, like, lunches, and this motherfucker's, like, having, like, local politicians come up, and it's just like, that weird. You're like, oh, this is the lowest level of, like. Like, not conspiracy, but, like, corruption.

[Advertiser Voice]

Yeah, whatever.

[Eldis]

Like the absolute lowest level.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Of corruptions. But it was. It was nice to dabble in it, I guess.

[Stavi]

Totally. Do you want kids? This is. This feels like a big jump. But I'm asking because I'm like. I'm thinking, would you raise a kid in this city? Would you go back to Baltimore?

[Eldis]

Yeah. Well, the community is really important. I don't know how you feel about it. Like, I don't know what it was like, because it sounds like you grew up in a big Nigerian community. And, like, I both hated and liked growing up around, like. Well, those specific Greek people was like, they kind of. Everyone moved from different parts of Greece, and then they all had this, like, provincial villager attitude, where Greek Town, a shitty neighborhood in Baltimore, became like, a village again. And they didn't want to explore the rest of the world. And it was like. Or if the. The biggest idea of their world was like the sub. The nice suburbs of Baltimore. But the idea that they would do anything kind of different didn't really exist. They were. And I. I just didn't like that. But I do. And I'm not religious anymore. But even I'm like, there's something to going to a. Most communities are anchored around a church.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And there's something about the non religious elements of that that's like that. If I could figure it out culturally, I want my kid.

[Stavi]

Like, I almost Boys and Girls Club or something. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Like. And even part of me is also like, I came out this way because I went to church, realized it was dumb.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And it's like.

[Eldis]

Like when you start with a kid who's like, I don't want to tell my kid God's not real.

[Stavi]

You know what I mean?

[Eldis]

Like, I want to be like, yeah, go to church. We all had to go to church.

[Stavi]

You got to let them figure it out.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

You know, stand up to you at some point. Be like, I don't want to go to church. And you're like, yeah, great, you're here.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Now I can tell you you didn't have to do that anyway.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I don't know. So. And who knows? I might just be. I might be on uncle mode. I'm kind of built to be kind of ideal. It's the best.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But I know so many people around me are having kids and thinking about having kids that I just feel like my whole life I've been dragged into adulthood. I've always been the last one. Yeah. So I could. I don't know. What about you? Would you?

[Stavi]

I have always imagined myself having like one kid and being like, I'd be a really good dad to, like a daughter.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I wouldn't know what the fuck to do with a son. I'd just be like, what do you. What do you guys like? What do you want to fucking. I don't know. But I also feel like, in terms of, like, where to raise them, there's some times that I'm like, it'd be great to raise a kid in New York. So it just feels like no matter what I do, like, community is around you. You have to take the train. You have to be around people. It's not like I'm isolating you from the world.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I am. Like, it. It feels like it'd be good to raise them in la, but it would just be boring and like a lot of work in a way that just feels it's like the idea of like building community for this kid in New York is like you have to actively be like, I got to take you to this thing. I got to make you like the church thing where it's like I have to.

[Eldis]

It's interesting. Work it hard folks. Running a small business, you know the tasks are never ending. Now I get to mostly focus on my art. I'm a podcaster and thespian, let's not forget, but I used to do it all. Sell my own merch, edit clips, post my own stuff, book my own shows. If you're running a small business, finding the right tool that not only helps you out but simplifies everything can be such a game changer for millions of businesses. That tool is Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10 10% of all E commerce in the US including US. We use Shopify to help us sell our merch, our calendars, our T shirts. They are the best. Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. Turn your big business idea into sales with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify. Go to shopify.comstavi shopify.coms t a V.

[Advertiser Voice]

D V Y Planning a trip this year? Travel smarter and connect deeper by learning the local language with Rosetta stone. With over 30 years of experience, Rosetta Stone's immersive intuitive method helps you live the language, not just memorize it. Choose from over 25 languages including Spanish, French, Japanese and more. Their truaxent speech recognition technology gives real time feedback to help perfect your pronunciation. No translations, just natural learning that builds words to phrases to full conversations. Whether you have five minutes or an hour, you can learn anytime on desktop or mobile. Get a lifetime membership and unlock all 25 languages. Learn as much as you want whenever you want. Rosetta Stone Learn confidently. Connect authentically. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50 off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit rosetta stone.com pod50 to get started and claim your 50 off today. Don't miss out. Go to roset.com pod50 and start learning today.

[Eldis]

That's interesting because I always thought of like I always thought it was up when a kid grew up in Manhattan. Really like, it just feels like it's not a place they should be around. Like, I just feel like on the island you shouldn't allow kids after like 6pm yeah, you should get like, waivers to go see Lion King or whatever the. Yeah. And then it's only good for midtown. And you have to go back like.

[Stavi]

Like an express train. It's like back to your house.

[Eldis]

Child only express trains. And we gotta promote. We gotta patrol those big time.

[Stavi]

Yes, we have.

[Eldis]

To the nypd. Instead of at your fucking phone and doing Candy Crush, maybe fucking make sure.

[Stavi]

Those states IDing children on the board. And it's like, that was a trick. If you have an id, get the fuck off here.

[Eldis]

Yeah, you're right. Fuck. All right, we'll figure it out.

[Stavi]

We'll figure it out.

[Eldis]

Maybe a trolley. That's kind of Wimbledon.

[Stavi]

As with all of my ideas, the problem comes down to, ah, I forgot about pedophiles.

[Eldis]

Fuck.

[Stavi]

That doesn't work because of pedophiles.

[Eldis]

I had a. I had a joke. Nab pedophile.

[Stavi]

I had a joke I used to do on stage where I was like, they should do a program at Disneyland where, like, because people get jaded and it's like, you can sponsor like a child. Like a poor child's trip to Disneyland where you're like, they're chaperone. You see through their eyes and you're just like, oh, maybe this is magical. And I'm like, ah, forgot pedophiles, though. Yeah, yeah, you can't do it.

[Eldis]

You can't be doing it.

[Stavi]

You can't do anymore.

[Eldis]

You can't. Pedophile. You can't open up the whimsy. I think Bill Burr had a good joke about that where he's like, pedophiles ruined. Just like going up to like a little chubby kid on the. On like the kinder on, like the playground and mussing up his hair. So you can't do that.

[Stavi]

You cannot do that. They would be like, ah, get out.

[Eldis]

Of here, you little slugger. And like, you know, give him a little tap on the back. And it's like a big pat on the back. But it's like, no, don't do that. You cannot do that. You have to really be friends with the babies.

[Stavi]

Probably should have never been doing it. But also, there's something that, you know.

[Eldis]

I listen as a fact here that used to get mussed around quite a bit. I think it did help my development somehow.

[Stavi]

You think it made you more confident. You're just like, all right, I guess this is the thing people are gonna do.

[Eldis]

I think so. It made me. It sort of. I was the. You know, you're. This. You know, you're gonna get your cheeks pinched. You know, you're gonna. You know, people are gonna come up and kind of with you a little bit.

[Stavi]

Absolutely.

[Eldis]

And I don't know, was it positive? Was it negative? It made me more resilient. It made me know.

[Stavi]

Did you. Did it make you more bitter where you're like, this is gonna happen every.

[Eldis]

Time after a certain point. Yeah. But you know what? It's good. It teach you to stand up for yourself.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldis]

Because at a certain point, I was like, all right, enough cheek pinching.

[Stavi]

You started sounding like those kids in the pizza place is just like, hey, I don't gotta take this from you. It's like, okay, well, I'm still 35, so calm down.

[Eldis]

Yeah. No, it was. You know, I don't know. So we'll. We'll. We'll see about uncle Mode Might be fine. But it's interesting you say you. You wouldn't know what to do with a little. You prefer a daughter?

[Stavi]

I think I. I think I'm destined to be a girl dad. Like, I think even in the way that I live my life, sometimes I meet a guy and I'm just sort of like, what do we.

[Eldis]

What was the crew like growing up? Was it. Were you with a bunch of. Do you have a bunch of bros? Was it, like, hanging out with girls?

[Stavi]

It was like I had, like, a couple of good male friends. And then as I. It was like. It is mostly women now, and it's like. I think my best friends almost every age past, like, seven was a woman.

[Eldis]

Interesting. Cool, huh? That's. So. Because, like, I. That's. I've never. I've always just had this, like, bro. It always feels like being a dumbass bro is like the sort of, like, the default setting.

[Caller/Guest]

Sure.

[Eldis]

And that, like, I've been. I've definitely had. I always had, like, friends, you know, I always had, like, very close female friends. But it does feel like. And part of it is because I've known my best friends for, like, me and I've been friends. We were, like, five, and we just. I think I feel like I locked into a specific dynamic.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

When I was. We were literally five and that, like, it was me eldest. Another one of our friends, and it was just like. I don't know. I feel like from a young age, that vibe of just, like, being fucking dumb as shit with your bros. Yeah. Was just the like, like the absolute. The most, like, comforting. Not. It just wasn't, you know.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I don't know what it is. Where it was like. And when we were little kids, should I think the first time, I mean, our friends.

[Stavi]

Do you feel like there's a thing of, like, you don't have to perform when you're around your bros, and you kind of feel like you might have to when you're around girls.

[Eldis]

Oh, interesting.

[Stavi]

Yeah, maybe I feel like I always felt that a little bit, but sometimes it felt more like it's like, well, now I have to perform around the guys when it's like, well, I guess I gotta do the guys or I gotta be like the dumb. I don't know.

[Eldis]

No, that's interesting because I've definitely met. I have met guys who have gotten attention who either were comfortable around women or the. The one that really sticks out to me is guys who were like, always good with women and always had, like. Like, female attention and weren't nervous around women.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldis]

But were. Didn't know how to make friends and were, like, more nervous around a group of bros. And they weren't even, like. It wasn't like a cultural thing. Right. It wasn't like, this guy's like, sensitive or into fucking, you know, whatever. It was like he was like a sports. He was like a run of the mill bro.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But he just. He couldn't get the respect of men in a way that he could get the attention of women. And I think that made him nervous. Whereas, like, I don't know, I was always the flip side where it was like, I was the best at making friends. Like, I would. I feel like being a good hang is my best skill.

[Stavi]

Yeah. That's how I am now.

[Eldis]

Totally.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But I was. When I was younger, I was so nervous to talk to girls and I was so. And I wonder if it kicked in before puberty, but I mean, by puberty, forget about it. It was like. I think part of the problem is that some of. Yeah. It's like there's a general nervousness for most of my life around and just not understanding once it. Once it became a thing where you're like, oh, I have to get girls to like me.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

It kicked in them, like, my social anxiety. And I didn't have that. I had no social anxiety before because I was like. Like, I'm fucking great at being social.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But once it was like, get a girl to like you. It made me so nervous that it took me. I don't know, like, now I Have a ton of female friends.

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldis]

But I will say it's still. It still feels like the absolute CRO Magnon. Like, just fucking dumbass caveman version of my brain.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

It does feel like there is something about just being totally free that it's like the. You got to be with the bros on some level.

[Stavi]

I get that.

[Eldis]

Where it's like, I don't know that that's true. Like, but it's just like, a night where we're just getting high as and, you know, just completely destroying each other. Saying the most mean things to your best friends.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I would feel bad on some weird, like, I guess, is it chivalry to, like, have to, like, have a girl around in those kinds of atmospheres?

[Stavi]

You're like, we should be protecting her from this. Almost. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Although there are definitely women who pass that.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Test, but they're, like, lifelong friends who I've been through. You know, we've been through so much with.

[Stavi]

I think, for me, and this is just theorizing, I think there was a thing where, like, as a kid, I always felt like if I hung with dudes, I would become, like, the butt of the joke or the word be. Like, oh, I can't really, like, hang in the same way that, like, I don't pass the test in the same way that you guys do with each other. I don't have the same interest. And when I hung out with women, it was just like, oh, I don't have to pass that test. And it became, like, a thing where it becomes like, it's so easy to be friends with women.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavi]

And then it became a thing where it was like, well, now someone who also dates women, it's hard. It's like, I can very easily make a friendship with a woman. And then it's like, well, now try and date women. Like, I don't know how to flip that switch.

[Eldis]

Oh, interesting.

[Stavi]

And then when I hang with men, I'm just sort of like, there's almost this thing of, like, I don't care if you like me.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stavi]

I'll hang. But also, ultimately, I'm just sort of.

[Eldis]

Like, you're free now. Yes, we're both free in that way where it's like, you lose that, like, those childlike childhood anxieties. But, yeah, it was just. That's interesting, though, because you were, like, comfortable. What was your first approach? Were you, like, be friends with a girl first, then tell her you have feet? Like, did you ever.

[Stavi]

I used to do that so much, and ultimately I was like, this is such a bad way.

[Eldis]

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

It's never once worse. And it's, it's. I'm Charlie Brown kicking the football, being like, this time I'm gonna hit the football. After a year of being friends, I think I'm gonna spring it on her.

[Eldis]

No, it's awesome.

[Stavi]

Yeah. And I now it's just sort of like, I will just ex. It's like if there's someone that. It's like I'm interested in them and I become friends with them and then very quickly I'm just like, oh, we're too friendly. It almost. My brain shuts it down just being like, you don't like them enough. You're friends now. And it's like comforting and nice, but I. Yeah, I just feel like I never. The. The being friends thing is I feel like it's something every guy has to always try when they're young and then quickly learn that it's like this won't work. And also they'll be frustrated.

[Eldis]

Of course.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Because. Because when you're young, you're like, well, when do I tick off enough toke? Like, when do I do it? You just feel like, well, it's like girls are like video games where I put in enough time. I learned them, I've nice little 15 times they give me pussy, you know, and you're like, no, you have to actually talk about how you feel and like make it. And they think you just want to be friends. It's not like some secret game that you get. You get to just like unlock. You just got to be a human being. But.

[Stavi]

But it is also tricky because there are some times where it does feel like you reach this mutual feeling of like, well, we have become friends now. And because of that, someone who feels closer and is like open to a relationship, but it is like, it's that thing of like, every woman is different. You can't really.

[Eldis]

Of course.

[Stavi]

But it can't be from the get go, just being like, all right, gonna hang around for a bit.

[Eldis]

Laying the cut. Yeah, put it. You put in my time. Yeah, yeah. Although I have. I've gone back to being like, maybe that's how I'll find a wife, you know, on some real romantic comedy. Yeah, friendship.

[Stavi]

Just hang with the bros. Like, hey, you've been hanging out with Rachel. Like Rachel. Nah. N. No, we're just friends. I've never.

[Eldis]

Dude, she's just at the office. Yeah, she's actually a idiot, if you ask me.

[Stavi]

Just cuz she smells good and always wearing that perfume and does this thing with her eyes whenever she's laughed. It's like, all right. Okay.

[Eldis]

Yeah, dude, I'm back. Maybe I'll open myself up to a rom com.

[Stavi]

Do it.

[Eldis]

You know, that's the way to go.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

That little rom com lifestyle, like you.

[Stavi]

Can just opt into it.

[Eldis]

Yeah, why not?

[Stavi]

Okay. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Be whimsical. Medical friendship. I gotta think this through because usually I'm the. If we're. If, if. If it was a real rom com, I would have. I would be the best friend. You gotta have. A fat guy is the best friend. Sure, yeah, kind of. Although I guess that's what Hitch Flip it made the fat guy the star.

[Stavi]

But he also was the best friend.

[Eldis]

It's like, yeah, Schrodinger's fat best friend. He's both the star and the fat best friend.

[Stavi]

Yeah. The shallow Hal.

[Eldis]

Yeah, the shallow. Now there's some cinema right there. It's insane. That. That was like a, the, the. The Jack Black. Also. Jack Black was fat. Why didn't they pick a sexy guy?

[Stavi]

They.

[Eldis]

No disrespect Jack Black. He's a hot fat guy. Of course. And we, we don't badmouth, you know, the plus size community, but it's like, he's the guy that was shallow. He's the guy that wouldn't fuck a fat lady. Why? I don't believe that for a second.

[Stavi]

It's. It's so crazy also how, like, the message of the movie is sort of ruined by the movie itself of being like. And to show you that she's good on the inside, we'll have a sexy lady. And it's like, okay, then you don't. You really don't. You're not doing it. And then do you remember, like, how much. How well do you remember this movie?

[Eldis]

Movie? I don't remember very well.

[Stavi]

There's a scene where, like, he has his power and goes to, like, this burn ward full of children who have been, like, horrifically burned. And he sees them all and he's like, oh, they look great. Like, these are such nice kids. Why are they here? And then he realizes the burn ward and it's like, oh, they're all actually ugly. I see. And that's how he sort of. That's like the third act twist of like, I learned my lesson. Because the children with horrific burn scars are actually.

[Eldis]

Look.

[Stavi]

Actually they're like, lake look fine to me.

[Eldis]

Yeah. They've opened my eyes to realize the girl I've been seeing is a pig. Yeah. Thanks to these disfigured children.

[Stavi]

And they also have, like, Jason Alexander has, like, a tail. Like a prehensile, like, pigtail. And now when I think, God, even just saying this, I'm like, at some point in this movie, someone should just be like, does that work?

[Eldis]

Yeah. I mean, there was so. Maybe it was. There was so many of those moments that it just became, like, dazzle camouflage. They're also too much.

[Stavi]

Yeah, they're just like. Like, it's like, look, we got to get this in or people won't watch it at all. And so we'll try and, like, backdoor message in a little bit. And, you know, everyone came out of the movie just being like, bro, I'd. Gwyneth Paltrow. Absolutely. It's like, all right, well, we tried.

[Eldis]

Also her. Why would you make that choice? Why would they? Did they put a fat suiter? Was it cgi?

[Stavi]

But who her?

[Caller/Guest]

I think it had to be a fat suit that they did.

[Eldis]

Let's look it up. Let's look up.

[Stavi]

Oh, I just assumed it was, like, they cast another woman as the bigger Gwen.

[Eldis]

I don't believe so.

[Stavi]

Which also now I'm like, that's. That's awful.

[Eldis]

That would be tough.

[Stavi]

You're gonna play the fat version of this. It's like, okay.

[Eldis]

She did wear a fat suit. The 2001 movie. Wow.

[Stavi]

Insane. Holy God.

[Eldis]

Holy. That's crazy.

[Caller/Guest]

The lips are crazy.

[Eldis]

The. The lips, the chin. It's like, why couldn't she basically keep her face but plump it out a little bit? What the. That's nuts, bro.

[Stavi]

Dark.

[Eldis]

That's crazy. Was this before? This is 2001, so it's like, 911 really reset a lot of stuff.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Eldis]

Culturally.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Was not happening post 911. They're like, no. Frivolous.

[Stavi]

Yeah. 911 happened. Jack Black was like, we gotta respect our women, man. What are we doing to our beautiful queens?

[Eldis]

That's insane.

[Stavi]

I honestly, I feel like that's insane. The worst thing is, I don't think that. I think we're, like, five years away from this kind of thing, coming back in a way that we don't really see until we're then 20 years out.

[Eldis]

Interesting.

[Stavi]

Where it's like, oh, yeah. No. After Covid and the Trump presidency, we went really hard on this kind of thing.

[Eldis]

Interesting. What do you think? Like, what? Because everyone seems to be. I don't know how true it is, but people are saying woke is coming back in a big way, which I would love. I would make.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that would be great.

[Eldis]

I think it's very clear that ner, you know, tattletales society was better when it was ruled by tattletales instead of actual militant. Like, it's not an equivalency. Like Bill Maher was like, okay, we just need to. The, the left needs to stop with their WOKE nonsense and the right needs to stop with their slide towards authoritarianism. It's like, are those the Bill Maher. Are those really the fucking. Can you just admit you're wrong and annoying people? People are a little annoying and a little sensitive. It's better if they rule 100 guys.

[Stavi]

People you can ignore. By the way. You put your gun down. You shut up.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up, nerd. And go about your life. Versus like put the gun down. Yeah, please take your mask off. You have to identify what part of the law enforcement you are. And then you get butted in the head.

[Stavi]

Yeah. The thing about people complaining about WOKE is always just like, it's the same thing as that. Like Tyler, the creator tweets like, how is cyber bullying real?

[Eldis]

Yeah, just close the computer.

[Stavi]

I'm like, yeah, just don't listen to them for real. And it's like, I want you to listen to them, but also if you, you don't, you can live the life that you want.

[Eldis]

No issue whatsoever.

[Stavi]

They are not in the like trans people telling you to respect their pronouns are not in power. It's not this authoritarian thing.

[Eldis]

No. We're literally seeing just disappear people off the street. Yes. So I don't know, what do you like? I guess I'm trying to think culturally what the, what the shift will be. Because that's interesting you're saying like silly that we find problematic or what do you think?

[Stavi]

I think it's going to be like in 10 years time we'll be like, I can't believe we let that happen so many times.

[Eldis]

Interesting.

[Stavi]

But I don't know what that thing's going to be like.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Cuz right now, what are they even? I mean, I don't even. It's. It's hard to even say what I, you know, what it might be is like overly serious television. Like prestige, like prestige TV a little bit has gotten to like cookie cutterish a little bit. I mean maybe you see that with all the like Yellowstone clones or whatever, like building out that. I mean culturally that seems a little, you know.

[Stavi]

Like.

[Eldis]

Yeah, who knows maybe how serious everything got. Hopefully there's a. I mean this is comedians hoping that gets funny again.

[Caller/Guest]

Sure.

[Eldis]

They actually make comedies, but who knows? I don't Know, that's. That's an interesting question.

[Stavi]

They make one a year, and then they're like, it didn't work out that well. We're not gonna do it. We're gonna go back.

[Eldis]

Naked Gun was good, though.

[Stavi]

Fantastic.

[Eldis]

Naked Gun was really good.

[Stavi]

And my fear with that, though, is that everyone's like, oh, great. Then we'll do more like, like, parodies and, like, just do it the wrong way.

[Eldis]

Or, like, legacy. Yeah, parodies. Or, like, legacy seat. Because, like.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Eldis]

The whole point of that was, like, they took that into consideration and it made sense.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Yeah, you're right. The parody movie. Although I gotta tell you, the Wayne's getting back in the mix with that movie.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

That's got me pumped.

[Stavi]

Cautiously optimistic.

[Eldis]

I'm so. I cannot wait. The sinner scene. How long do you think that spit is gonna be that comes out of her mouth?

[Stavi]

Oh, they're gonna.

[Eldis]

They're gonna do such a long. I'm. I. I'm calling it. She's gonna spit into his mouth with the weirdest, longest loogie you've ever seen. It's gonna spit. I feel like they already did that in a movie. That's why it's in my head. I feel like there was a spit gag. But, yeah. When you give the Wayans back. Scary movie, bro. I'm so calm.

[Stavi]

Yeah. What. What. What are the things. It's like, they're gonna have kids running around, like, in weapons.

[Eldis]

They're gonna have.

[Stavi]

I. Is it. It's also, like, so many big horror.

[Eldis]

Like, like, long legs. They'll have long legs in there somehow.

[Stavi]

It's been so long that I'm like, will, that happened too long ago?

[Eldis]

Like, maybe. Who knows? But I.

[Stavi]

That.

[Eldis]

That's gonna be awesome.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And I can't. I haven't seen him. I can't wait. We are the biggest Wayans. We are the biggest Marlin guys in the world on this podcast.

[Caller/Guest]

You know, they're still informing, ready to go. I feel like marlin's made, like, 18 other, like, horror spoof movies since he stopped.

[Stavi]

So true.

[Eldis]

The ones that he was like, I'm doing them myself. One that was really. There was. It was really Annabelle heavy. And I think he fucked Annabelle, like, twice. I think there's, like, two, like, getting your dick sucked by Annabelle. That is the kind of thing where.

[Stavi]

It'S like, you're like, I'm not gonna wait for them to let me do my big one, because I can't do an Annabelle thing. And that was like, people will forget by Annabelle.

[Eldis]

I gotta do. Yeah, there's Annabelle texting him pictures of her tits. Of course, he also did.

[Caller/Guest]

What's this Paranormal like.

[Eldis]

No, no, the one. The sex one. The like with Dakota Johnson. He did 50 Shades of Black.

[Stavi]

Oh, yeah.

[Eldis]

Which was a banger.

[Stavi]

Wild to me also, like.

[Eldis]

And it was.

[Stavi]

In hindsight, all of these sound like they would be direct to dvd. I'm like, no, these all had theatrical releases.

[Eldis]

Oh, man. That sweet 4% on Rotten Tomatoes.

[Stavi]

Golden.

[Eldis]

These are bangers stuff. That's the way I feel about Marlo.

[Stavi]

Guy named Michael Titties in the.

[Eldis]

Who's Michael Titties? He's got no character name.

[Stavi]

If you cast Michael Titties, you're like, you can just self title. He's playing himself.

[Eldis]

Michael Titties, bro. Oh, director. Oh, insects. Tuplets. Remember that? We watched that on My brother's. On my brother's Bachelor Party. He just did a. A one where he plays all six that no one's heard of.

[Stavi]

I. Yeah, I was about to. This is the first time I'm seeing that.

[Eldis]

We are. I mean, I'm telling you, we're Marlin guys.

[Stavi]

He was just. He was like, I got to do my clumps.

[Eldis]

He's got. I got to do my clumps. Yeah, right. And he plays There's a fat Sister. I believe there's.

[Stavi]

Yeah, he's doing Little man again. There's a baby.

[Eldis]

They're running back a little man.

[Stavi]

Great.

[Eldis]

They're running back a little man. He's. He does like, I guess a red bone version of himself.

[Stavi]

What year was this?

[Caller/Guest]

I think it just said 2019.

[Stavi]

That's too late.

[Eldis]

No, dude, it's. It's all. That one was directed.

[Stavi]

Netflix, Molly, Shannon, Glenn term. Okay. Cast is great on that one, dude.

[Eldis]

It was good. So Michael Titties, it looks like is just. Is a marlin guy. Yeah, looks like he shows up in all Marlins Laugh.

[Stavi]

He directed them, it sounds like.

[Eldis]

Oh, yeah, dude, I would love to sit down, have a long talk with him about. I mean, we literally. I remember this because it was my brother's bachelor party and we put on. I think we put on one Marlon Wayans movie as a joke. And everyone was kind of like, oh, this is fun. We'll smoke weed. We'll have it on the background. And then like, we're like, all right, let's roll. Let's fire up Sex Tuplets. And like, my brother's friends who were like, not our guys were like, what?

[Advertiser Voice]

You're gonna.

[Eldis]

You're gonna Watch another Marlon Wayans movie. We're like, hell, yeah.

[Stavi]

That is a moment where it's. You are like. It's the kind of moment where you're like, oh, I thought this was a safe space to do that. And they're just like, whoa. We actually. We thought it was ironic, and this is sincere.

[Eldis]

Yeah, well, they. They were. No, no, they didn't think it was ironic. They were. At first, they were on board as like, oh, this will be funny. These guys. Are you funny guys? They have good taste. And so it was bad, obviously not good. But we just love. We love watching Marlon. We'll watch him do anything. And so they're like, oh, that wasn't so good. Let's do watch something else. And we're like, nah, they're. We're watching Sex Tuplets, man.

[Stavi]

There is an entire kind of movie this. That I think is. Is made to be good in a group. And I think people think of it like, that's an ironic watch. And it's like, no, it is the kind of thing where, like, if you sit there watching it alone, critically, like, you're gonna be like, this sucks. But the joy is like this sort of audacity that you're laughing with friends, you're high a little bit. You're just like, that's crazy. That's insane. It's like, they have fun making it, and you have fun watching it in a group, and that's like, that. It's the symbiosis of it being like, it's not good, but it is. It's enjoyable in certain scenarios.

[Eldis]

No, that's a great point that, like, we don't give comedies meant to purely entertain credit. It's like, they know this isn't the smartest jokes of all time.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But they also know it's gonna kill.

[Stavi]

Also, is there any comedy in the history of the world that you are like, I'm gonna sit down and watch Alone at Home, and it kills, right? It's like, not really.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I mean, for me, it's probably like, yeah, like, I'll watch new episodes of comedies I like. But the only thing I probably will throw. I'll throw on 30 rock. I'll throw on Eastbound and Down, probably. But even then, it's like, more. I mean, we're talking about the best shows of all time.

[Stavi]

Sure. Yeah. And that's. Even with tv. I'm like, is there a movie where you're like, I'm gonna watch this alone in my house?

[Eldis]

And it's like, that's a Good point. Probably the la. I mean, the last time. The last time I did the comedy is probably Night at the Roxbury. Because I loved it so much and I was like, let me see if this holds up. Yeah, brother, it did. I'm a. I tried to. I tried to get like a screening. I tried to do a screening of it at this film festival in Baltimore, but they couldn't get a film print of it. I'm sure it doesn't even exist. I'm sure they burned every film the Roxbury. But if someone can get me 35 millimeter night the Roxbury print, I need it for my private collection. That was. That was for real, like a huge movie for me.

[Stavi]

I've still never seen. Seen it.

[Eldis]

It's pretty. I mean, it's funny. And it's also a funny artifact of like, whoa. This is when they thought Chris Kattan was going to be the star and Will Ferrell was going to be the supporting actor.

[Stavi]

Oh, yeah.

[Eldis]

Like, it's kind of. Kind of a hallucinatory experience because you're like, wait, Will Ferrell just goes away and we follow Chris Katan. This is insane. And for that. And then it's got like hilarious various Richard Grieco cameo. Dan Hadiah just also plays their dad. The dad in Clueless. They just get him to be the dad. He's the man. Yeah, Molly Shannon's very funny in it. And it's just. It's so stupid. I feel like it's probably like 74 minutes long or something. Crazy.

[Stavi]

Every SNL movie, they were just like, they're like, wrap this up. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Barely a movie.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

This should have been 20 minutes. If we're being honest with ourselves, it's.

[Stavi]

Because it feels like they started as a sketch and it's like, make it a little longer. And like, we don't know what to do. This is all we got. We got 70 minutes for you do that 40.

[Eldis]

You start with a two minute sketch, like plump it up a little.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And you just do that 40 times and it's like, all right, I guess the fucking movie. Who fucking cares?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But yeah, I made my father take me to see that in theaters, literally. Because I was such a fan of the sketch as a boy.

[Stavi]

They do the thing.

[Eldis]

Did you have any like, like sort of cornerstone comedy movies or like you just. Just movies in general?

[Stavi]

I mean, the two big ones to me were Ocean's Eleven and Hell yeah.

[Eldis]

Those are like, dude, hot rods. Another one I saw in theaters.

[Stavi]

God, I wish I was introduced to it in college, just like some friends brought over DVD and they were like, this movie's awesome. And I was like, okay. And I remember just watching it, like slowly smiling as if I was discovered. Just me. Like, this shit's pretty good, dude.

[Eldis]

It's so good.

[Stavi]

Every time I watch it since then, it's like it makes me laugh the same amount. I show it to people and I'm like, this is. This is fucking. You can't do this. This is insane.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And it's one of those movies where if you break it down, it's like. Like he never successfully does a jump. The plot is so bare bones. It's that he wants to beat up his day. It's all. It's like every level of it is so brilliant and funny and insane.

[Eldis]

Yeah, no, I'm so with you. That movie was. I w. I would watch the director's commentary of that. Yeah, that was actually the director's commentary. When I learned how old those guys were. Cuz they're the lonely line guys. I used to follow them when they were on, you know, just off the Internet. And in my head I'm a kid, you know, I'm like, like in high school or whatever. I think when it came out, maybe I was graduating and then I was in college and I'm. I'm like an open micr and I'm like, well, I'm. I guess I'll be famous in three years, you know? Like that's. That's what's going on in my head. Like I'll. I'm crushing these open mics, barely doing okay. You know what I mean? But in my head and then I hear the director's commentary and I think like Sandberg in 2007 was like in his 30s or some.

[Stavi]

Yeah, like.

[Eldis]

Like probably, probably. Like when he got. When he got like, look how. Look up how old Andy Sandberg is. Yeah, look up andy Sandberg, age 47. So yeah, he's like 10 years older than me. So he was like. So. Yeah, I don't. I don't even know. Maybe, maybe. Maybe I got the DVD in college or whatever. Or I guess he's 11 years old me. But either way he was like 30.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And when you're a teenager, that's the oldest anyone ever is.

[Stavi]

Yeah, you're just like, have to wait that long to. To make it. And like what. I think he was also maybe on SNL at that time, but it is. He had to work to get to that point.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Stavi]

And then the movie wasn't a hit. So you're like, if that isn't even like it for him.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

And he's. He's on snl. That's the biggest thing in the world. Yeah.

[Eldis]

You're like, well, no, I was. Because they just mentioned how old they were when they got to make the movie. And I was like, yeah, but they're. And exactly, they're on snl. Same thing with like when I realized how old Mulaney was when he did his in half hour. He's like 24 or something. I was like, what?

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's all you only hear now of the ages. That it's like miraculous that someone did a thing. Like everyone now being like, PTA was 26 when he made Boogie Nights. And it's like, yeah, everyone kind of did things when they were younger back then. It's hard to compare. But now it's also like, you hear about like a 22 year old that's starring in a FOX show and you're just like, God damn it, I'm really up. And it's like, no, you're not. But it's hard to not think that all.

[Eldis]

It's like, sorry, man. You're not an incredibly. You're not one of a handful of people that was incredibly lucky and had incredible talent.

[Stavi]

Yes, exactly.

[Eldis]

Like, big fucking deal.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You can't compare yourself to that.

[Stavi]

So you're not the son of Channing Tatum.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And luckily, you know, fuck, who gives? It's nice being like, old and mediocre and not really giving a fuck.

[Stavi]

Do you feel like at where you are in your career, you're like, I'm doing good, or like, you've made it.

[Eldis]

Yeah, dude, I passed every dream I had.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Like, so I just wanted to headline shitty comedy clubs.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

I wanted to make $72,000 a year with insurance and play Magoobi's joke house and every funny bone and every like. And it's been very surreal to be like, oh, what do I do now?

[Stavi]

Yeah, you know, you're like, I guess I'll do Bonia.

[Eldis]

By the way. You saw it. Oh, it's where. I'm really excited for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's what I'm saying though. It's like, like that has started happening where I'm like, what?

[Stavi]

I think there's something to it. It's like that stuff happens when you are not someone who is trying so hard for it to happen.

[Eldis]

Yeah, true.

[Stavi]

And I think the people who are like, I gotta make this. It Sometimes just feels a little like. It's almost like, ah, you want it too much.

[Eldis]

Totally. No, there's definitely like a fat. A classically trained fat actor who's gonna watch that movie and, like, shoot like, and. And take my. A picture of my headshot to, like, a gun range. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's like, with this fucking guy.

[Stavi]

Paul Walter Hauser making a dark horror. Not me. Huh?

[Eldis]

I'm coming. Pwh. You're fucking rain. Is the fat guy in. Hollywood's coming to a close.

[Stavi]

They're going to run one at a time.

[Eldis]

Exactly. Exactly. No, there has to be a coup. There's got to be a fat actor coup. I'm taking the top spot. But yeah, dude, it's crazy. But, you know, it is interesting how. How things have gone because it's like, you know, I mean, same thing for you where it's like, you should do a bunch of. You got. You get to do a bunch of, like, interesting, creative. And that's what's. That's what is fun about comedy right now is that. Yeah. There's no, like, system that you thought was gonna happen. Yeah. But you get to do a bunch of different, you know, like. Yeah.

[Stavi]

And I. I have to keep reminding myself that, like, I'm so lucky to be doing what I'm doing because there are times I'm just like, I'm not doing what I thought I'd be doing or like, well, I want to be doing this instead. And it's like, people always ask me, like, well, you've made it. How do you get. And I'm like, I don't think I have. But when everyone thinks you have, you have to at least accept it a little. It's like, to, like, when people are asking you for advice or being like, how do I get there? And you're like, I don't know, I haven't made. It's like, you kind of.

[Eldis]

Yeah, you definitely have. When it's like, I mean, the first step is making a living from it.

[Stavi]

Yes.

[Eldis]

Right. That's number one. That's really. When you don't have to do other annoying. That's number one.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And then it's like, you know, it's just like a different. It's a different, like, landscape than when we grew up. We were like, oh, I'll be on tv. I'll have my own show. I'll do whatever. But it's like so many people interact with your. Yeah. And people. You also have. No, the hard part is a little bit. It's like you don't really have any control of what people. How people look at your stuff, what they. What they even know you from. You know what I mean?

[Stavi]

You have no control. Like, there are times now where people will just be like, oh, my God. The. The guy I know from this thing also does this. I'm like, yeah, I've been around 39. Yeah. For 33 years. Yeah. I've done other stuff.

[Eldis]

Guys can do more than one thing.

[Stavi]

And it's like you just the way that people interact with you is never about you. It's about their perception of you.

[Eldis]

For sure. For sure. And you have to just kind of accept that and be like, all right, who gives a. As long as I don't have to go to a fucking shitty office.

[Stavi]

Right?

[Eldis]

I don't fucking care. Let's take some of this beautiful expertise to our callers, Demi, and let's hear at the halfway point if there's anything you'd like to plug. A new special coming either soon or it's already out. We don't know yet, folks, if this.

[Stavi]

Is if it's past, I think. November 19th. I have a special that's out right now on Dropout called Demi the Ju Bay is going to do one back on Flip.

[Eldis]

Hell yeah.

[Stavi]

The entire premise is I'm going to do one backflip and there's 59 other minutes.

[Eldis]

I love that dude. So go see does he do it, folks? Only one way to find out on Dropout right now or soon.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Or something's happening. They're like, hey, we can't put this out. There are three options.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Or he killed himself doing the dropout.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

You just fell onto your head. They. They're not going to air it. Yeah, but you know, we'll see. Only one way to find out.

[Stavi]

True.

[Eldis]

Did he survive? They won't tell me. Survive the attempt. In this crazy age, aura frames keeps your family connected even when you're miles apart, making it the perfect gift to give. With aura frames, you can share photos and videos effortlessly straight from your phone all year long. Plus get unlimited free photos and videos with the Aura app. Just connect to wi fi. I have an aura frame. I've got one from my mother. I post. I send her a little updates from us on tour. Maybe I should get an aura frame for my brothers and send them lewd photographs perhaps of parts of Eldis body they weren't expecting to see. That's the beauty of aura frame. No matter if you're a traditional, wholesome guy that wants to Send your family pictures of puppies and your kids. Or you're a dirtbag who wants to maybe show your bare ass to your friends. AuraFrames makes that possible for a limited time. Visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off Aura frames best selling Carver matte frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code STAVI at checkout. That's auraframes.com, promo code Stavi. This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so order now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Out terms and conditions apply or frames.com promo code STAVI planning a trip this year?

[Advertiser Voice]

Travel smarter and connect deeper by learning the local language with Rosetta stone. With over 30 years of experience, Rosetta Stone's immersive, intuitive method helps you live the language, not just memorize it. Choose from over 25 languages, including Spanish, French, Japanese and more. Their truax and speech recognition technology gives real time feedback to help perfect your pronunciation. No translations, just natural learning that builds from words to phrases to full con. Whether you have five minutes or an hour, you can learn anytime on desktop or mobile. Get a lifetime membership and unlock all 25 languages. Learn as much as you want whenever you want. Rosetta Stone Learn confidently. Connect authentically. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life. Visit Rosetta Stone.com pod50 to get started and claim your 50 off today. Don't miss out. Go to Rosetta Stone.com start learning today.

[Eldis]

Did a bag flip. What do we got? Big Eld.

[Caller Eldest]

Hey St. Eldest. Esteemed guests, appreciate you taking the call. So I've had this issue with one of my buddies. We've been friends for, you know, maybe five years, something like that. We've gotten pretty close over the five years. We both have long term partners, long term girlfriends. We both live with our girlfriends. And recently, like a couple months ago, my buddy came to me and told me that he cheated on his girlfriend. Now he was kind of like bragging about it, which really turned me off from the dude, you know, just like shitty behavior that was, I don't know, kind of acceptable in our early 20s, but now we're, you know, in our 30s, so that kind of of turn me away from the guy. And then a couple months after that his girlfriend called my girlfriend late at night, came over crying and just kind of unloaded a bunch of stuff about Their relationship, how he's kind of shitty to her. Yeah, all this stuff. So I guess my question is, you know, and since that night. Night, we haven't spoken at all. Like, we went from hanging out, you know, a couple times a month, maybe once or twice a week.

[Eldis]

Even has. No idea.

[Stavi]

It's been kind of weird after I.

[Eldis]

Told him that awesome story, probably. I'm sure he's busy or jealous.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

He'll get out of his system and hit me up to play madness soon.

[Caller Eldest]

Once or twice a week, even to not speaking at all. And it's been about two months. My question is, do I just let that friendship die, or is it my responsibility to be a good friend, step in, check in, kind of see what's going on with the dudes, if there's a path to redemption. I don't know. Kind of stumped here.

[Eldis]

Interesting.

[Caller Eldest]

Appreciate any advice and. Yeah, love it. Pod. Thanks.

[Eldis]

Did he say how long they'd been friends? Eldest at the beginning.

[Caller/Guest]

He said about five years.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

So they're friends for five years and their girlfriends know each other through, like. So it's not like they're friends through the girlfriends. They've been friends.

[Stavi]

Yeah, they've been friends.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

That's what it seems like it the. I feel like there's definitely an option between let the friendship die and, like, check in to check, like, how the friend is doing. Because I feel like the ultimate thing is, is as soon as. Well, as soon as it happens. It's like, you should have been. You kind of want to go like, oh, I don't think I'm taking this in the way that you want me to. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't think this is cool.

[Eldis]

It's like, oh, okay, yeah, like, cheating.

[Stavi]

Is one thing, but, like, the idea of, like, bragging about being, like, pretty cool just feels like a bad read of your friend and also of your own self.

[Eldis]

Right. That's the thing. It's like, look, is cheating on a partner a. Like, you got to excommunicate someone? Not necessarily. Really? Context really matters.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And like, look, like, all sometimes you have to decide are your friend. Is it really your business what your friend's relationship is? Sometimes it is, right? Like, if they're a close friend and they come to you and your life is, like, interconnected and you care about the partner and whatever. But look, I have friends who are not. I'm not very close with it. It's like, I don't even know what's going on with their. With their Relationship. And ultimately, it's like, if a friendship is, like, kind of tertiary or, like, I'm not gonna get involved on every. Everybody's morality. Whatever. Whatever the. But this guy thinks you're a scumbag. That's the crazy. Like, this guy came to you like, dude, isn't this awesome? We should go cheat. Like, the. And almost like, you. Like, he was expecting you to be like, hell, yeah, dude. Right? Let's go cheat on our girlfriends together. And it's like, this doesn't seem like a guy who. If you had this kind of reaction to him judging you this way, you guys are just not aligned at all here. You know what I mean? This is not a guy you want to be close with. It's also.

[Stavi]

It's like. It's also that thing that women say where it's like, men need to check their friends. Where it's like, this is a. This is one of those scenarios where it's like, if a guy comes to you just being like, pretty cool, huh? Like, you. Your gut is to be like, I don't want to rock the boat. I don't want to make him. But it's also, you got to be. Be like, I don't know. The least you got to do is be like, I don't know, man. I don't think.

[Eldis]

No, I don't love that. Yeah, exact. Exactly. And it's like, look, that he might not give a. At all, right? He might just go be like, all right, well, I'm gonna go find cool guys to hang out with. Right?

[Stavi]

At which point it's decided for you.

[Eldis]

Exactly.

[Stavi]

All right. Not my friend.

[Eldis]

But you're right. It's like, if this is something you feel strongly about and it's a close friend of yours, you should be like, look, man, it's not cool to cheat on your girlfriend. You know what I mean?

[Stavi]

Like, and when she comes to you complaining about the relationship, that's another moment where you turn your friend and be like, hey, you really got us. It's like, she's like, she's clearly unhappy. Like, you've done this thing. It's like, there's no way for you to be impartial. Just like, ah, who knows what's going. It's like, you know, you know the score. You kind of got to be like, dude, you're fucking up. Let her go. Or fix this.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I mean, I think the element for me is that clearly their girlfriends are friends. If she's coming over, this seemed. And, you know, he says they've been Friends for five years. I don't, we don't know how long their relationships are, but we can assume they're pretty serious relationships where it's like your lives are sort of intertwined in like a double date sort of friend group way.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

So yeah, I agree with you. Judging all this, you should have been like first, like, you probably care about his girlfriend where you're like, it's, it's one thing if it's like your, your like best friend comes to you with a confession about cheating on his like significant other who you're not as close with and he has like, he's coming to you as a friend for like support.

[Stavi]

Like I.

[Eldis]

Right bad. How do I fix this? What do I do? And it's a completely different thing where this guy's comes looking for a pat on the back because he's up not only his relationship, but also probably your social life.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Like now you kind of have to lie to this girl. You know, this secret. He's put you in a up place place. This feels more like you can blow up this friendship and you can even be like, hey man, this is why we're not friends anymore. Because like, there is something to being like, it's not cool to cheat and it's not cool for you to put me in this position. And you shouldn't if you feel this way, you should, you know, break up with her also.

[Stavi]

Don't you kind of want, like, don't you kind of want that from a friend? Like a friend who's gonna be honest with you and be like, this thing kind of sucks. As opposed to just like quietly being upset with you and you being like, what happened? And then later being like, well, it's this thing you just did three months ago. It's like, oh, I didn't.

[Eldis]

Oh, 100%. That's one of the nice things you would think about friendship is that like you could just be. That's what you want. Just be being honest.

[Stavi]

Cuz my best friends are the ones who'll just be like, I think it's weird that you did this. I'm like, thank God, thank God you said that.

[Eldis]

That was up, man.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And yeah. So I don't know. And again, we're not, you know, this show, we're not even prudes here. We're not even necessarily anti cheating. If I'm going to be completely honest with you, you know, like, it's not.

[Stavi]

I don't really give me more than deets.

[Eldis]

Like, but this situation in particular, it's like we're probably much more. We're probably much more forgiving of cheating than an average advice show, but this particular one just sums. Sums very off vibes wise with this guy.

[Stavi]

It could be anything. Also, though, it's like, it's. Take away the aspect of cheating, and it's like your friend did something that you are uncomfortable with, and it makes you see them a certain way, and that has created distance between you. It's like the answer is like, you got to talk about it. I don't.

[Eldis]

That's a great point. That's, as a general rule, advice. Address it, and either it will be too big a gulf for you guys to get across, or. Or you figure it out and you move forward, and you're actually better friends. Watch.

[Stavi]

Our next piece of advice be like, dude, don't tell her anything. Don't tell your.

[Eldis]

Don't snitch bro code brother. In fact, when she comes up with problems, you say, that's not true. He treats you great. I see it. Gaslight her for him. No, don't.

[Stavi]

Someone was hitting on him the other day, and he was like, I couldn't. I couldn't possibly.

[Caller/Guest]

We were getting wings at the bar last Thursday.

[Eldis]

What are you talking about? It was wing night with the guys. He wasn't out there. Apple's tracking must be up. I heard. I heard with the new. You know, the new phones and the aluminum, all the systems got gone crazy. You should go to the Apple store. Here's a gift card. Get yourself some air.

[Stavi]

Imagine working at a genius bar, and it's like, someone comes. He's like, yeah, I just. My boyfriend's been seeing at this spot, and it's clearly not there, and you're just like, what do I do here?

[Eldis]

Okay. Oh, okay. We'll reboot your phone, ma'. Am. What else we got?

[Caller Neighbor]

Hey, Savi. Love the show. I have a question, and it's probably a pretty classic one, but my boyfriend has family things, obligations, birthday parties, me, meetups with his family probably twice a week. Or not twice a week. Sorry. Twice a month. And they're nice people, and I don't mind to go sometimes, but I don't particularly hang out with my own family that much, and I don't attend every single birthday party. We don't gather quite as much as they do. And I think that that's great, but do I have to attend every. Every single one of these things? I feel like I get guilted into it and made to feel like a bad person for just wanting to skip every once In a while. I don't skip the big things, but I just feel like sometimes I'm obligated to go to these like little kid birthday parties and I don't go to some of my own families. Like my family just doesn't do that. So maybe I'm a dick. I don't know. Let me know your thoughts.

[Stavi]

Thanks.

[Caller Neighbor]

Bye.

[Stavi]

I wish I could ask them who's guilting them because I'm like, if it's your boyfriend, that sucks, right? It doesn't matter if it's the family. It's like that Al. That doesn't matter.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I mean, I think this could be some classic like American person dating an ethnic person thing. This to me feels like. Cuz this reminds me of what we were talking about like growing up in like a. Even though we didn't have a big extended family. Like it was always someone's fucking birthday church. It was always. There was always a thing to go to. And to be honest, you, I. My default is. I think that sounds kind of nice, right?

[Stavi]

It does. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Like even though now maybe I'm a hypocrite because I have moved four hours from my family and I don't see. And it's like maybe I'm being kind of like, oh, come on, that's nice. It's community. And it's like if I had to do this, maybe I'd be going fucking crazy myself.

[Stavi]

I think it's the thing of having to do it more than like getting, getting to. Like when you get to opt into those things, be like, oh, I'd love to see my cousin. Oh yeah, I got this thing for him. Like that's fun. But when it feels like a thing, it's like, I can't miss that. It does start to feel like.

[Eldis]

And I, I get it. But it's also like who's. Who's guilting her? It's probably no one in particular. Right. And it's probably. Overall people don't really give a. But like every one person will say something every time she skips it and it just feels like the collection.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Guilting her. If it's.

[Stavi]

If that is the case, I'm like, you kind of just gotta accept that that's like a comment they'll make and it doesn't mean anything. And if it does feel like it means something, then it's just sort of like accept like that's part and parcel of the relationship.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stavi]

But you, you deserve to not have to do those things. I like, I don't think you're a bad person for not wanting to do. If anything, I would be like, you're gonna hate me more if I show up to all these things. And I feel like I have a.

[Eldis]

Bad attitude, want to be there. And also it's like, do you have reasons not to go? You know what I mean? Like, because you could have where it's like, oh, you know, you're busy or you have your own, you know, you have your own thing to do. And like you also at these things, you just kind of need a general excuse. It doesn't even have to be like airtight.

[Stavi]

No.

[Eldis]

And I know you're saying I shouldn't even have to worry about this if I just would rather be in my house than eat shitty pizza and watch my fat nephew on a bouncy house. That you shouldn't have to admit. You shouldn't have. You shouldn't even. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your nephew in law or whatever. The fuck. Is it her husband or boyfriend?

[Stavi]

Boyfriend.

[Eldis]

Oh, boyfriend.

[Stavi]

That's another thing. This is a boy. If it's a husband, I understand a little more of it being like the family's just like, you're committed, you're in this family. Why not?

[Eldis]

But that is the thing here. If it's a boyfriend and it seems to be getting serious enough where you're expected to go to these things. Certain families come with certain bullshit, right? Like, like, so you might marry into a run of 5K on Thanksgiving.

[Stavi]

Fan.

[Eldis]

My greatest nightmare, the family that does a.

[Stavi]

If I married to a family like that and they were upset that I wasn't doing the 5K, I'm like, I don't, I would be like, I don't care. Yeah, I'm, I'm supporting you so much. I'll be the finish line. You, you're not making me do that.

[Eldis]

Still though, because you're marrying into that family, you're going to end up running more 5Ks on Thanksgiving than you ever would have otherwise.

[Stavi]

100%.

[Eldis]

And if you marry into that this family, you're going to end up going to more annoying little kid birthday parties than you ever would have otherwise. And so some of this is like the, some of this is like you have to decide. I mean, if, if, if, if this just might be how this family rolls and you might have to know that you give in to certain things and maybe. And compromise is usually where like this lands where you're not going to get to go. You're gonna have to go to more than you want to want, but you're gonna and you're gonna miss more than his family wants you to. Sure. And sort of nobody's happy. But un. I do think when you enter, when you're looking at being serious and into like a family, it is important to at least sort of maintain like the tradition, like the cultures and traditions. Because you don't want to be like, you know, if it's really important, you just have to take that into consideration. Like, okay, I have to do this.

[Caller/Guest]

I feel like she can. She probably hasn't even like told him this. He just assumes like, oh, yeah, family thing. You'll come, we'll eat well, yeah, we'll get some food, blah, blah, blah, be great. It's like when, when I started, like, you know, when I was dating like my wife years ago, I like this kind of tongue in cheek. But I just started, she would be like, oh, this nephew is having a birthday thing. Or these friends are doing like a brunch. And I just straight, straight up have been like for years, been like, am I on the hook? It's like, it's like, just ask what you're on the hook.

[Stavi]

Which is also like a good closeness to have with someone you're dating and being like, let's be honest, like, be.

[Eldis]

Honest with me, right?

[Stavi]

Do I have to do this?

[Eldis]

That's a good point.

[Caller/Guest]

I'll go, I'll go if you want me to. But like, you know, is this one like important?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Am I gonna be like the only guy there and a bunch of little kids or some. Or like, are the other boyfriends, husbands, whatever?

[Stavi]

That's huge also. Yeah, it's just like I'm the only one that's not in this family at this engagement. It's like, then what the fuck am I gonna do?

[Eldis]

Totally, totally. No, that's a good point. El. This is like, yeah, let's. Let's open up some dialogue. He might not even give a fuck if you go. We don't know. We don't know. We don't have all the info. But that's really good. It's just be like, hey, I'm not going to all these fucking kids birthday parties. So let's pick the ones I let me know the ones I absolutely need to go to. And different families have their, you know, and she says, I don't skip the big stuff. It's just. And look, hopefully this is also. Little kid parties do change, right? Like at a certain point the kids. 12, you're not going to a. You're not going to 14 year old's birthday Party. Like, yeah, right now, this might just be a really annoying next few years for you, cuz this is only really an issue from ages 0 to, like, 5.

[Stavi]

But it's also, like, how many nephews in their family.

[Eldis]

True. Yeah, you're right. And it might be a renewable resource of new children.

[Stavi]

Absolutely. Yeah. The nephew's having nephews.

[Eldis]

My.

[Stavi]

My mom, sometimes she'll call me, and I'll just be like, where are you? She's like, oh, I'm in London. Your cousin's brother's girlfriend is graduating. And I'm like, why did you. It's like, what's their name? You mean, why are you there? You flew there for that? Okay. And I'm always like, thank God. I don't have to. But I do feel like older generations of immigrant families are like, I'm going.

[Eldis]

To as many as I can. And.

[Stavi]

And ultimately, like, sometimes they're like, oh, it'd be nice if you showed up. But they just. They just kind of want. It's like the people in the family, they're just like, well, if you're part of this family, like, check in every.

[Eldis]

Once in a while. Sure, sure.

[Stavi]

It's not. How dare you not come to everyone?

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

But I get the feeling that that's an imposition.

[Eldis]

Yeah. I see. I really do see both sides because I do think it's nice when a family sees each other that often. But I also, like I said, moved away from my family the second I financially could.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

So I don't want to be a hypocrite here. L.D. what else? Little. Little. Hey, Stav.

[Caller Eldest]

Elvis, esteemed guest. I'm 25.

[Eldis]

Nice.

[Caller Eldest]

With my girlfriend here for five years, coming up on six here, and decided I want to propose here months. And the issue really is I just. Since I've started telling people I'm gonna propose and started, like, making it real, like. Like, really looking at rings and stuff. And, like, I think I finally found the one I want. Like, I've been. I don't know, just. I find myself, like, looking at other girls more and I guess just, like, in general kind of, like having these, like, weird, random thoughts where it's like, I don't know. Is this really what I want?

[Stavi]

I don't know.

[Caller Eldest]

I know I love her, but, like, I don't know.

[Caller/Guest]

It's just.

[Caller Eldest]

I can't help but feel for context, she's, like, pretty much the only girl I've ever been with.

[Eldis]

Pretty much, huh?

[Caller Eldest]

At least, like, this.

[Stavi]

Seriously.

[Caller Eldest]

And, like, obviously, we met when we were really young. Like, we were both 19.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Caller Eldest]

And that, like, first freshman year of college and been together since. And so I don't know. I'm also, like, surrounded in my work. There's a. Like, it's very female dominated and there's a lot of very attractive women. So I feel like that might not help. Anyways, just some general advice for a guy who, like, really still committed to.

[Eldis]

My girlfriend, obviously, but is it obvious?

[Caller Eldest]

Just having these, you know, kind of cold feet, stressing out feelings. Anyways, thank you.

[Eldis]

That's really funny. I love how he's like, there's a lot of hot women in my office. So that doesn't. It's like, there's a bunch of hot women. I also shouldn't. On top of cheating. It would be weird to. Yeah, yeah. In my. It's at my job. It's like, having said that, I don't know that this is that crazy.

[Stavi]

I think this is a feeling that a lot of people have once they get into committed relationships. Because I think everyone has this idea that, like, once you find the one, there's no one else. And it's like, no, there are beautiful people everywhere all of the time. That's not what it's about. It's about being like, wow, that person's beautiful. And yet it's like, it's the same thing as, like, when people are like, women and men can't be friends. And it's like, well, that's only if you think every time you see a beautiful person, you're like, if I don't fuck them, I'm going to die. And it's like, no, you can have feelings for a person. Just be like, but no.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, totally. And that's. That's a really great point. Like, you're not. Once you get. Once you commit to someone, you're not saying, like, well, I'll never see someone I'd like to on an animal level ever again in my life. No, you're gonna keep seeing that. You're choosing to commit to someone because it's. Your relationship is more important than that. Now, does this setup go against a lot of my gut reaction for success in marriage night met. When you're 19, you're kind of a dumbass. Even though we love you, you're. You know, just. The way you're describing this is you're a simpleton. You know what I mean? Like, you're having these cold feet. You're 25. To get to play devil's advocate, it's like, you know, are you too young or whatever. Maybe. But also, the answer is just, do you want to do this for real?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Are you doing this because you feel some kind of pressure? Are you doing this for, like, you know, why do you want to commit? And. And if you really do, if you really search your thoughts and all that's give. You're just kind of, like, worried about these feelings. No, man. Everybody wants to. Everybody still stays attracted to people. It's just you've decided you're marrying this person, and also to sort of, you know, go back to the original argument. It's like, yeah, okay, you met kind of young, but you're not that young now. You're in your mid-20s. You're at a completely reasonable age to grow into, you know, know, to. To. To get married to somebody. So, you know, it's really just. I wouldn't worry too much if. If you're just like. You're basically just having the, like, wait, I'm really never going to. Another woman thought. That's basically what this is, that you're. You're having a hard time with that. If that's all it is. Right. If you're just. Then I think you're fine.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

But if there's more stuff and you're not being honest with yourself and you're just. Just, you know, proposing because you think you need to, but you're not really sure, then, you know, there's hopefully still time. I don't know. This call might be from three months ago, and it's coming out in a month, so maybe you're. I don't know.

[Stavi]

But this also. This is something I had to remind myself because I've been in scenarios where I feel this, where it's like, I've been dating this person for a while, but I'm like, oh, there's all this. It's like, there's a hubris to men where she's like, I see these beautiful women. Obviously they're all options. And it's like, all right, man.

[Eldis]

Right?

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Gonna stop from these. Yeah, yeah. I think Morill had a great joke where he was like, something about. Or he was like, he's in a committed relationship. It's like, you know, sat down next to a beautiful woman on the plane and didn't even look at me. So didn't cheat that, you know, like, we dodged the bullet there, boys. I didn't have to cheat because she didn't even have any interest in me whatsoever.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Eldis]

But yeah, that's. That is a good point.

[Stavi]

I think there's also like. And this is the, like. Like living in a big city, knowing these kinds of people sort of feeling that I now have with stuff like this, where it's sort of like. I think if you talk to your partner at a certain point, you, like, you can talk about this kind of thing. Just be like, these are the reservations I have. And it's like. It's not, like, necessarily needing to approach, like, polyamory anything, but, like, just communicating. That kind of thing sometimes makes the feeling go away.

[Eldis]

Sure.

[Stavi]

And sometimes makes it. Where it's like, well, you both understand that that's how attraction works. And also, maybe you're like, she's having the same feeling. You're like, let's take a year apart. And then, like, in that year, you'll be like, actually, she's the only one I want. It's like.

[Eldis]

And then she's already had. You know, she's. She's like in a. She got a harem of sexy guys now. Now you. Yeah. You spend the rest of your life being like, I was stupid.

[Stavi]

And you're like, well, I. I'm. Take me back. I've been talking a lot to Trisha at work.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah. You're on suspension at work. Oh, you got something else for us, little eldest?

[Caller Eldest]

Hey, Savi. Ld Esteemed guest. I called earlier, but dogs were barking, and I didn't leave a lot of details.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Caller Eldest]

So I've been getting a little bit more politically involved here recently, and, you know, go to protest and stuff like that.

[Eldis]

Nice.

[Caller Eldest]

And it's.

[Stavi]

It's nice.

[Eldis]

Depending on which protest, which. Depending on which protest, you're going to keep going.

[Caller Eldest]

Causing a lot of friction between, you know, the people I know, like, my family and some of my friends, like, really maga. To, like, the point. It's not really, like, a healthy debate. It's them.

[Eldis]

What?

[Caller Eldest]

Screaming as hard as they. And it's gotten to the point I don't even talk to these people. Like, a good friend of mine, he tried to convince me to join ice.

[Eldis]

Oh. And it did not go well.

[Caller Eldest]

I talked them since, and I don't know, dude.

[Eldis]

That makes me sick.

[Caller Eldest]

Handling the situation. Am I?

[Eldis]

Join us.

[Stavi]

That's. That's not even.

[Eldis]

Like, we need to get our immigration under control. He's like, let's join us. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Yes.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's. That's a left.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I mean.

[Eldis]

I mean, signing up to be a stormtrooper is what your friend wants to do.

[Stavi]

It's.

[Eldis]

Anyone who joins ISIS is a piece of Absolutely. I mean, there's no way around that. Like, like, and what they're doing now where they're like, hey, we're salaries start at 50,000 and we, you know, we're forgiving debt for joining ICE. It's like, do that for teachers, you pieces of.

[Stavi]

And also.

[Eldis]

And society will be better.

[Stavi]

50,000 or what?

[Eldis]

It's some kind of.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I know, but I just mean like the number you would have to. It's like if you're going to be like, sign up to do the devil's work. It's like, start at 250k, all debts cleared.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

I have like diplomatic immunity. But even then it's like, yeah, like, absolutely not. It's also. This is. Sorry, I know we got to finish the.

[Eldis]

No, no, no, please.

[Stavi]

The idea of like, we should join ice, I'm like, that is a pivot from whatever. It's like, unless your life is weird, doing nothing all the time, it's like, quit your job and join ice. That's crazy. Sorry, continue.

[Eldis]

Insane. But yeah, go ahead.

[Stavi]

I already have my answer for whatever this going to be. But continue, please.

[Caller Eldest]

Like, how I should be handling the situation. Am I doing it wrong by just like outing these people? Just like not talking to them anymore? Because it's not just like, uncomfortable, it's like demeaning.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Caller Eldest]

So am I being a little about it or should I really just cut these people out? I don't know. Because it's super uncomfortable. Anyway, well, thank you. You have a good one. Love the show and bye.

[Eldis]

Yep. Mean, this is a. You know, obviously this is a issue that a lot of people are going through and have gone. I mean, it's not. It feels worse now, but it's also been an issue that's like every generation there's things that. That are sort of like breaking points where people can't. You just have to have your line. And I think, in general, I do believe in general that you can get along with most people and that I think a lot of the time the biggest issue right now is how crazy the fucking political rhetoric has gotten. I think, like, like, you know, Trump. I mean, literally, as soon as Trump. Trump was like, smart politically to heighten everything because he knows it's all entertainment. But that's. That's one thing when it's a reality show, but when you're the actual president and you're talking about, you know, taking out your enemies and doing all this other shit, there becomes like a culture of like, real violence that like, has. Has really spread in A fucked up way. And, and there's been incredible. There's like, there's like, there's, that's like. And I think when we're talking about ice, like, it's one thing to be like, we can disagree and it's like, yes, we can, but not when you want to join a fucking masked like, Nazi organization. Like people that are literally. And it's like, this isn't even, this isn't even hyperbole at this point where they are, it is a fascist organization where they're, they are disappearing people with no due process. It's like a fundamental American thing, right? Like, this is shit that if you are gleefully participating in or supporting it, to me that is a deal. That's where I'm like, I don't know that I can fucking. Now if it's your friend who you think is just parroting dumbass talking points and you feel like you can have a real, like, hey, don't these fucking people deserve basic dignity? And even if you agree with them political, politically, don't you think we should keep fucking rule of law and we should keep, you know, like we said your day in court, like very basic American shit. May, you know, maybe you can have a conversation. And I think it's important to try and be civil with people and not automatically think, you know that because you disagree with everything that you couldn't get along. Because I do think as trite as it is, if we were off the Internet and we didn't, you know, all this shit is so divisive when you see regular people that you don't even necessarily agree with, you agree with 90% of shit. Right. You know what I mean? And I think most people right now are. There's anger because of how fucked our, you know, the economic system is.

[Stavi]

Really, everyone's just looking for someone to blame.

[Eldis]

Exactly. And the easy thing, if you're the easy thing, a tried and true thing, is blame the other person, right? Blame immigrants, blame gay people. You don't understand, like, blame whatever the fuck. And at the end of the day, it's like, if you feel like you can empathize with the anger these people have because their lives have been completely fucked up and point them in the direction of what's actually doing it and you think there might be a solution, that's okay. But if people have really dug their heels in and you know, you have to know when there's a time for you to be like this, this relationship is not going to get, get me.

[Stavi]

Anything when it becomes Demeaning. And when people are shutting you down, it does feel a little like, this is work that I'm doing, where the end result is never gonna be. It's like they. They've dug their heels in so much, it just feels a little like, yeah, maybe take a break from that relationship. But it does suck to just feel like, where did this happen? When it's a good friend, it's just like, how did this radicalization happen? And in such an invisible way that you are now on the support of. Let's join ice.

[Eldis]

Totally, dude.

[Stavi]

It's also like, ICE has been around for a while, but it's like, was there a point at which you guys talked about stuff and it felt like, they're on my side, and then, like, silently, they somehow switched. That's the thing that I always don't get in scenarios like this where it is just like, people like. And they're good friends of mine. I'm like, when did this happen that you didn't notice? Or like, was it all overnight? Was it just. You never really talked about politics? Because that feels. That feels like a such a pivot that it does feel like either this is something they just picked up overnight, like, I've decided this. And you can easily be like, no, sorry, that's dumb.

[Eldis]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

But.

[Eldis]

Well, I mean, I definitely think it's probably just. I mean, ICE has become this, like, cultural touchstone for, like, a lot of Trumps. Like, they just. They see it as, like, being in. In fucking Trump's personal army.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Like, it's become this thing where it's like a badge of honor to be like, we're gonna make this country. I get to be racist. I get to fucking. I get to actually, you know, a lot of presidential candidates talk about being racist, but he's going to give me a badge and let me be racist for him. You know what I mean? Like, anybody. And I think, yeah, it's. Everything's just heightened in a way that's fucking scary. And legitimately, some of these jobs are probably. That's how fucked up our economy is, where it's like, for some people, they're like, okay, it's like joining the military. Yeah, exactly.

[Stavi]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Eldis]

Exactly.

[Stavi]

Here's my thing. If. If to their friend, just be like, would you join the police? Like, at any point in history? And it's like, if they're in, like, I don't do that.

[Eldis]

Oh, 100.

[Stavi]

Then why, like, ice being way worse?

[Eldis]

This guy would love to join the police.

[Stavi]

But it's the kind of Thing where I'm like, why hasn't he? Yeah, yeah.

[Eldis]

Well, because the. Probably because it's too hard. Yeah, it's a lot easier. Like, that's. The other thing is that they're just taking a lot of guys that probably couldn't have been in the police, which is fucking scary to think about. Guys that couldn't cut the fucking police exam are now like, all right, man, here's a fucking sheisty. Here's a shiesty. Go fucking grab any brown person and we'll figure it out later. So anyway, dude, good luck. It is a classic thing. And it does feel like thing. It does feel like things are even more politicized in a way. But if you can try and have positive discussions and if they come to the point where, like you said, it feels like it's demeaning and it's a. Then you're. You're fine to cut these people off.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I think I've spent too much time on the Internet because I'm just like, don't just leave.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah, just cut it.

[Stavi]

Who gives a fuck?

[Eldis]

I know. I know what you mean. And some. And don't get me wrong, plenty of times that will be the answer. But like, a big thing we like to say is like, you gotta give people the chance to fail. Absolutely. Yeah. So it's like. And a lot of times it's like. And you know, we're pretty inspired by Zoron's campaign where that motherfucker's a smiley ass nice guy who will talk to people who fucking hate him and try and make his point. And will it work on 90% of them? No, but it might work on 10%. And I do think we do need a little of that because a lot of these are. Have just been. There's just anger at how bad the world is. And unfortunately, nobody is offering them anything coherent outside of hate.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And. And like, maybe you could be a person who's like, no, man, it's not left or right. It's literally up and down. And it's. It's the ultra wealthy that are doing this. And your quality of life, you deserve more. And it. But it's not immigrants or trans people that are taking it from you. It's your bosses and your boss's boss's bosses.

[Stavi]

There's also this thing right now where it's like, hate is the only thing that is culturally beneficial in. In times where people have nothing. It's like if you're in a room and everyone's talking about something everyone's just like, yeah, I liked it. Or it's fine. The one person who's like, I hate it. Feels like a little like, ooh, now you explain everyone there's a voice.

[Eldis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stavi]

Just because it's like. It's such a stronger feeling to hate for sure than it is to just sort of feel like, I feel no way about that.

[Eldis]

Right.

[Stavi]

So they get power just by having a voice and, like, speaking passionately about, like, this is the problem. From a false place of authority. And that happens in so many things that I'm always just like, oh, these people are, like, talking about this movie in a way where, like, everyone's really stupid about this movie because it's like people start going like, oh, I guess we don't like this movie.

[Eldis]

Oh, you're wearing me to be that guy.

[Stavi]

Like, yeah.

[Eldis]

When something's awesome, like, I can't wait for someone's going to be the first one battle after another. Contrarian. You know what I mean? Like, you're gonna get. And that's fine. Doesn't matter. Like, that movie rules. But it's like, but you're right. No matter, sinners, there's always someone who's like, this sucks. They'll just pick a movie that's awesome or any cultural thing that's awesome. And you do get attention by being like, this thing sucks.

[Stavi]

Yes. Because, I mean, how Trump became. It's like 100. Yeah. Just being a person who's like, I'm gonna say the insane things that no one is. It's like, that's. You get attention 100. And then everyone friends like, did you see this thing? We all got to share this.

[Eldis]

Crazy, too. This is awesome.

[Stavi]

100%.

[Advertiser Voice]

Planning a trip this year. Travel smarter and connect deeper by learning the local language with Rosetta stone. With over 30 years of experience, Rosetta Stone's immersive, intuitive method helps you live the language, not just memorize it. Choose from over 25 languages, including Spanish, French, Japanese, and more. Their true accent speech recognition technology gives real time feedback to help perfect your pronunciation. No translations, just natural learning that builds from words to phrases to full conversations. Whether you have five minutes or an hour, you can learn anytime on desktop or mobile. Get a lifetime membership and unlock all 25 languages. Learn as much as you want whenever you want. Rosetta Stone. Learn confidently. Connect authentically. Don't wait. Unlock your language learning potential. Now listeners can grab Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for life.

[Caller/Guest]

Life.

[Advertiser Voice]

Visit RosettaStone.com pod50 to get started and claim your 50% off today. Don't miss out. Go to RosettaStone.com pod50 and start learning today.

[Caller Neighbor]

Hey, neighbor. Celebrate the holidays with Birch Lane. Our timeless furniture and decor are delivered for free in days, not weeks. It's classic style for joyful living. Shop Birch Lane, a Wayfair specialty [e-mail].

[Eldis]

Play another 1LD and then begin to wrap it up here. But.

[Caller Neighbor]

Hi, Savvy. I was wondering, in dating, like, what is the line between kind of being yourself and, you know, not, like, coming on too strong or, like, revealing, I guess, too much. I like to talk to people weird and just say a lot of strange shit. And I want to make sure that, you know, they can keep up with it and, like, be funny with me. But sometimes I worry that, like, if I'm just, like, too strange, like, right away, that it's the. A bit overwhelming. So I don't know, like, how to. How to balance that. I'm also, like, I'm a pretty open person. I have. I. I have a hard time maybe not.

[Stavi]

Oh.

[Caller Neighbor]

So kind of how to, like, reel it in without, like, sacrificing who I am.

[Eldis]

Okay.

[Caller Neighbor]

All right, thanks.

[Eldis]

I'm going to say you sound annoying. Just, just off the top, it's like.

[Stavi]

I disagree, but I also, I also think. I also think my take on this is a controversial one.

[Eldis]

But you go, no, no, but okay, annoying in that, like, if your problem is like, I just can't stop. And by the way, I say this because I'm someone who has a hard time. If. So if I don't like something, it's coming out no matter what the, no matter what the, like, social ramifications are. Or like, like, and also be. Anytime you have to be like, how do I reel myself in? It's like, yeah, I mean, I do think that there is a little reeling in that happens in polite society. And on first couple dates, it's like, you know, are you yourself at a interview, at a job interview? Like, like, that's the thing. It's like, there is. And true intimacy is letting somebody in on your. On your weird shit over time as you grow, as you grow. Like, you know, I think there is something to being a, you know, being the sort of accessible version of yourself, being the, like, blockbuster, Marvel movie version of yourself before you're the art house. Sort of like, oh, there's no real plot. Oh, this. This third act was just fucking weird or whatever.

[Stavi]

Like, vibes based.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Being vibes based. It's like, you know, know, don't we all have good and bad in us?

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Eldis]

And I'm not even saying your personality is bad. I'm busting your balls by saying you're annoying. But. But, like, I just think in general, it ain't bad to be 80 per. Like, just like, if you got some shit that's particularly, you know, just. Just to, like, not full, you don't have to fully be yourself immediately. Right. Even though I would, you know, if you're confident enough, there's one, you know, we can get there.

[Stavi]

But.

[Eldis]

But I see it as a. Like, let's leave a little something to show to. Because you do want the person you're with, the person you're dating, to get fully who you are, and I don't know that you need that at all times. Sure. This sort is a. Is my philosophical idea. And it seems like she's only asking if this has become a problem. You know what I mean? Like.

[Stavi]

Yeah, like.

[Eldis]

Like, if she's asking us this question, people have been like, all right, you know, what the Was that about?

[Stavi]

Yeah, I'm a little like, what do.

[Eldis]

You mean by like, what.

[Stavi]

Give examples?

[Eldis]

But I was like, I like to pull my gun out at bowling. It's my thing.

[Stavi]

Yeah, don't.

[Eldis]

No, no. I'm just Lebowski.

[Stavi]

My thing here is. And this is a feeling I have about dating where it's like, my big problem with dating is that everybody has their own rules and no one wants to share them. So sort of thing was like, people go on to dates, and it's like, well, if a guy does this, or, like, I don't like when a girl ends up, like, all these things that they take in, and you feel like you have to read each other's minds, and I think it's insane. And I think the best way to date, the only. The times I've ever had, like, the best date has always been, like, be fucking crazy.

[Eldis]

Yeah, I love.

[Stavi]

Because it's also, like, you get to be yourself. You don't feel like you're performing. And also, if you find someone who vibes with that, it feels so good. And the times I'm most attracted to anyone I'm dating is when I'm like, you're a little weird. I'm like. I kind of like. Like, we're vulnerable. Like, this. Dates gonna go for a while. Because I'm like, what is that? Why are you doing that? Or, like, what do you mean by. It's just. It's so Fun to not feel like you're performing for this other person and then having to be like, do I want to go on a second date to figure out more? Do I want to go on a third date to finally figure out the questions I had on the first date? But I also think that's the thing that you can only do when it's like, you're so comfortable with being weird that you're like, I don't care if.

[Eldis]

They didn't like that.

[Stavi]

I had a good.

[Eldis]

Yeah, well, that's the thing. I think the ideal that people would like to get to is to fully be yourself in all situations. Yeah. I just think that's a very hard thing to do in practice.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

And so, and like. And I'm with. I think that strategy is high risk, high reward.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

Where it's like, if you hit it off with someone when you really feel like you're being yourself. And I. Again, what does that even mean? Because I'm not convinced that that isn't a little performative.

[Stavi]

Sure.

[Eldis]

Yeah. They'd be like, I'm crazy. It's like, are you. Or you know what I mean? Like, what is it so nuts about you?

[Stavi]

Right.

[Eldis]

And like, are you overdoing it to be. Because you, because you identify as a, as a weird person or a crazy person. It's like, as long as what you're doing is not. I would just say it doesn't have to be performative. And I would even say sometimes being the like subdued version of yourself, you know, is that a little, is that a little bit of a performance? Sure. But I think you're, it is kind of realistic where it's like, you know, you just don't, you don't hit everyone with, you know, you don't, you don't go guns blazing right away.

[Advertiser Voice]

Right.

[Eldis]

If, especially if she's asking the question. Right.

[Stavi]

If it has become a problem in your life, then it's like, maybe try and figure. Yeah. Figure out what the balance is. But you also don't want it to be like, don't perform at any level where at some point you'll have to be like, okay, we're five dates in surprise.

[Eldis]

I'm not Irish.

[Stavi]

Yeah. I'm not Irish. And it's like, I know you are. You are a dark skinned black man with an American accent.

[Eldis]

I was lying this whole time.

[Stavi]

Yeah. Pronounced Guinness wrong. Yeah.

[Eldis]

I don't know. It's like, I, I just would, I actually would like to know what, what she's been doing.

[Stavi]

Yeah.

[Eldis]

So so many of These questions, I'm.

[Stavi]

Just like, tell me a little. Explain that a little bit more.

[Eldis]

Of course, that's. That's most of this show, to be honest with you. You got a nice one for us to go out on here. Little eldest.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, this is from a caller who has a bone to pick with. How hard you ragged on him? Oh, interesting. It was from the Julio and Ricky episode. The guy who called in who said his girlfriend was mad because she saw his Instagram feed and it was like all chicks showing ass. And he even mentioned like, he was like, sometimes it might be like a sexy cartoon or something.

[Eldis]

Yeah, the cartoon I remember. That's wild. Wild.

[Caller/Guest]

So he just says.

[Eldis]

And we just called him a loser, basically.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, he's just responding.

[Caller Eldest]

Follow up call, Elvis. I know you screen these, so if it doesn't make the pot again, then.

[Stavi]

It is what it is.

[Caller Eldest]

But thank you for having my back stoppers. What the hell, man? My girlfriend was on my ass about lust and obscenity on my Instagram reel.

[Eldis]

Oh, I remember this dude.

[Caller Eldest]

You got on my ass about the car.

[Eldis]

I was trying to be.

[Caller Eldest]

I was being vulnerable and I got ripped apart. You were talking about all these genre dunks and highlights. Yeah, I get those too. I'm a fan of Pokemon. There's some Pokemon trainers that were badass in the game. That alone got my ass hot water from my girlfriend. Still together, by the way. So your advice did help. We met a middle ground. I appreciate Yalls expertise, but Jesus, I got torn apart like I'm some sort of cartoon creeper. Banking it to.

[Eldis]

You were getting horny to cartoons.

[Caller Eldest]

A bunch of cartoons. You were for comedy's take, but golly, I should have added some more context. Love you guys.

[Eldis]

You think this helps?

[Stavi]

You think?

[Eldis]

The fact you felt the need to call back and be like, stop saying I jack off the cartoons. I just. They were just badass. Yeah, the Pokemon, they're really cool. I respected their ability as Pokemon trainers.

[Stavi]

Yeah, I can't. I thought it was powerful how she could walk with tits like that.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what do you. I didn't. I didn't think about Misty while the star shaped one. Shot a jet of water up my ass. I wish I knew what was licky tongue. Licky tongue ate my ass while Misty sucked me off. I wasn't jacking off to that idea. You're. Why. Why did you make fun of me for that?

[Stavi]

Here's my thing about like cartoon, like cartoon porn. Stuff like that. I'm like, own it.

[Caller/Guest]

Right?

[Stavi]

And I'm not saying that like, like you should be proud, but I'm just like. I think it's a kind of thing where it's like you having shame about some of these things feels like a self defeating where it's like I have to hide it. So now I'm liking these things and it's just, it just, it's like it becomes this weight and I'm like, I think you can just be like, yes, I think this is hot. And it's like to your girlfriend, it's like, that is not going to be something where she's like, well, my insecurity here is you want Misty and not me.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Stavi]

You can just be like, I think this is hot. It's completely separate from you.

[Eldis]

Right, Right.

[Stavi]

But in general, like the other stuff, I'm like, I don't, I don't. That is.

[Eldis]

Yeah. Listen, man, don't. Yeah. Why did you call? Only being mad about the cartoons. You know what I mean? You were horny about other stuff. We made fun of you for being horny about that too. So. Yeah. Own it if you want it. If your dick gets hard at cartoons, nothing wrong with that now. And now does that mean we're not gonna make fun of you? No, it doesn't mean that.

[Stavi]

I don't think you should call into this show if you're like, I got a serious thing I want to say about these cartoons.

[Eldis]

Yeah, these cartoons make my dick hard. Don't make fun of me about it. Come on, dude, what are you talking about here? And we're not even guys who haven't looked at cartoons with their tits out. Everyone's gonna take a G. It's just.

[Stavi]

But it is whether or not the.

[Eldis]

Fact that it's on your Instagram is kind of, kind of hilarious that that made into his algorithm.

[Stavi]

What I will say is that like al Instagram algorithm. I'm like, there's a little bit of your input there.

[Eldis]

Hundred.

[Stavi]

I think in general on the Internet, it's like, whether or not you're trying to see that, you will for sure. But the fact that it's on your Instagram algorithm, I'm like, except that there's a little bit of like. Either you are liking Pokemon in general.

[Eldis]

A lot and it's just sort of.

[Stavi]

Like, well, you like Pokemon, you like these beautiful women or whatnot. But I also think it's like, I. I think there's is. This is advice that I also need to take myself where it's like, there is a thing about sexuality within relationships that People get, like, in trouble just being like, I saw this beautiful woman, and I. I liked it. And it's. And it's like this thing where, like, their partners are like, is that what you secretly want and not me? Am I comparing myself to that? And you are secretly being like, well, I like this thing also. And I. I like my girlfriend, too, but I also am, like, hoardy, and I should feel shame about it.

[Eldis]

I'm like, I think if you.

[Stavi]

If everyone was just sort of like, this thing is hot to me also. It doesn't feel like this thing that you are. You were, like, hiding in shame as opposed to just being like, I just have to not think about it at all. It just feels a little like it's just gonna make it worse.

[Eldis]

Yeah, look, this is hot to me. I have Marge's clothes. You wanna put on Marge's green dress and the pearls, great. You wanna put on the big blue wig, great. If not, no big deal.

[Stavi]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Eldis]

You're out to say it that way.

[Stavi]

I'm gonna call up a hotline and have a girl.

[Eldis]

Oh, homie. But I'm thinking of you.

[Stavi]

I'm thinking of you. Yeah.

[Eldis]

You don't want to do the voice. That's great. You want.

[Stavi]

You first writes a refusal.

[Eldis]

You don't want to take the voice acting lessons I set up. That's on you. You don't want to get the surgery to permanently make your skin yellow. That's fine.

[Stavi]

You don't want to let me wear the glasses that make your skin yellow. Whatever.

[Eldis]

But yeah, man, sorry. We're obviously going to make fun of you for that, but good luck, you know, Good luck. And by the way, your girlfriend also, we. We made fun of her for talking about life lust. Because there was tits on your Instagram.

[Stavi]

It's very Catholic code.

[Eldis]

Totally. Lust is so funny to hear from your girlfriend. Not like your grandmother. Anyway, good luck. Keep beating off to those cartoons and, you know, we'll talk to you next time. Demi. Thanks so, so much.

[Stavi]

Thank you for having me. Yeah.

[Eldis]

Go watch the special on Dropout. Either now or soon.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Stavi]

At some point in the past, present, or future. Right?

[Eldis]

Right, Exactly. It exists in time. Maybe at some point in comparison to your. When you're listening to this right now, we will be on the road, too. We're actually probably on the road right now. We'll. We'll put the. You'll. You'll know about it. Who cares? See you next week. Bye. Bye, guys.

[Caller Neighbor]

Hey, neighbor. This holiday season, Birch Lane is here to help you celebrate with friends and family. From guest ready dining tables to cozy sofas that fit the whole crew, our classic furniture and decor are crafted to last. And with fast, free delivery, you can be ready for holiday hosting in days, not weeks. So you can spend time on what matters most, its classic style for joyful living. Shop Birch Lane, a Wayfair specialty [e-mail] holiday PSA from DSW. This is a reminder that shoes are a gift.

[Advertiser Voice]

Literally.

[Caller Neighbor]

So unwrap something good, like boots that inspire your next big adventure, or cozy slippers that give you an excuse to stay in.

[Stavi]

Or sneakers that feel like pure joy.

[Caller Neighbor]

Because shoes aren't just shoes, they're exactly what you wanted.

[Stavi]

Let us surprise you so you can surprise them.

[Caller Neighbor]

Find shoes that get you and everyone on your list at prices that get your budget at DSW stores or dsw.com.