#158 - Beck Bennett

Summary

Stavvy’s World #158 – Beck Bennett

Date: December 8, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guest: Beck Bennett (with Eldis producing / co-hosting)

Episode Overview

A hilarious, freewheeling hangout between comedian Stavros Halkias and SNL alum/actor Beck Bennett. The duo riff on fame, raising kids as comics, childhood stories, navigating the entertainment world, growing up religious, and the perpetual struggle to be a functional adult. Blending raunchy stories, deep-dive therapy talk, and playful jabs about Greek and Albanian culture, this episode mixes big laughs with genuine wisdom—especially as they take calls from listeners with life dilemmas both trivial and thorny.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Names, Family, and the Fear of Raising “Dickhead Kids”

[01:00–05:00]

• Beck and Stav riff on the dangers of giving kids “last name as a first name,” the lure of prep-school vibes, and Christopher Storer (producer, present at the table) talks about giving his child his wife’s maiden name—Hodges—to keep things feminist and real.
• Quote:
  • Beck Bennett on last-name kids:
    “You are in the danger zone of raising, like, a prep school kid.” [02:26]
• Both worry about their own privileged careers resulting in spoiled children, with jokes about the dangers of LA private schools:
  • “Are you scared of having, like, a dickhead child who’s, like, rich or whatever?” – Beck [02:44]
• They laugh at the impossibility of making your kid feel ‘normal’ when their classmates have parents like James Cameron.

2. Trying to Avoid Out-of-Touch Celebrity Children

[03:46–06:00]

• They joke about George Clooney raising his children on a farm in France, discussing the pitfalls of overcorrecting as a parent and the inevitable rebellion of children.
• On Clooney's parenting: “You turn the dial way too far the other way.” – Beck [05:16]
• Advice for rich/famous parents: Let kids blend in, have iPads, and “watch Mr. Beast or Mr. Bean” to stay culturally connected.

3. Nostalgia, Cultural References, and Generational Shifts

[06:48–09:46]

• Stav and Beck reflect on the gap between what adults want kids to watch/listen to and what kids actually prefer—lamenting the demise of Pee-Wee for overstimulating computer-generated content.
• Beck: “You try to give them, like, good music and they’re like, no, I just want… whatever.” [07:33]
• Beck recalls being mocked for classic rock as a teen, spawning a funny tangent on fitting in, conformity, and the tragedy of being the kid who “likes Steely Dan.”

4. AI Romance & Teenage Tech Troubles

[09:36–10:38]

• They poke fun at a stat about 1 in 5 teens having had some kind of “relationship” with AI, highlighting the absurdity and the new ways technology shapes sexual coming-of-age.
• Quote:
  • Beck: “That means like a horny 14-year-old was like, do you want to suck my penis? And the AI’s like, yes...” [09:53]

5. Hilarious Childhood Masturbation Mishaps

[10:51–15:15]

• In the episode’s peak raunchy nostalgia, Beck and Christopher recount the clumsy creativity of teenage masturbation, including (for Beck) sock-em-boppers, the ever-present “practice with condoms” phase, and awkward discoveries by siblings.
• Beck: “I have a friend who cut a hole in a cantaloupe and heated it up… burned his penis.” [11:06]
• On prepping for sex with a condom for years:
  “I was like, gonna need to practice jacking off with this, because I’ll be getting any day now. It was maybe eight years after that...” – Beck [15:14]

6. Religion, Eastern Orthodoxy, and Cultural Roots

[16:32–20:18]

• Stav and Beck share stories about their religious upbringings—Greek Orthodox and Episcopalian.
• They affectionately roast the rituals, like communion from the communal spoon, and highlight the difference between symbolic religious identity vs. zealotry.
  • On Greek communion:
    “You have to eat it after some old lady… and she’s like, God cleans it.” – Beck [17:15]
• Greek Orthodox, they agree, is about tradition and family, not strict rules:
  “It’s enough to keep your society having some order, but it’s not enough to, you know, everybody being homophobic or.. go crazy.” – Beck [20:44]
• Christopher raves about Easter in Greece (“best lamb I’ve ever had”), and they joke about fidget-spinner komboloi beads.

7. Corruption and the Greek “Public Sector” Lifestyle

[21:45–24:14]

• Beck shares anecdotes of Greek relatives having “no-show” government jobs in the old days—clock in, then go home for the night shift.
• “My godfather worked… would just clock in, go home, sleep, then come back in the morning and clock out.” – Beck [21:59]
• The system’s idiosyncratic but “awesome,” and some relatives now live off the grid on islands, bartering honey, rabbits, and moonshine.

8. Study Abroad, Theater Kid Memories, and Clowning

[24:55–29:35]

• Christopher recounts acting studies in London, hilarious “mask work” and clowning classes, and the weird competitiveness of theater kids.
• Beck roasts the new LA clown scene:
  “If improv is too strenuous for you, try clowning.” [28:07]
• On clowning’s weird appeal:
  “Hot women have gotten into it… Guys that want to f*ck them are gonna do it…” [29:08]

9. Pursuit of Pleasure and Grown-Up Hedonism

[31:05–33:51]

• Beck and Christopher get candid about the struggle to balance base instincts (sex, food) with healthy adulthood.
• “My biggest problem is obviously eating… I can stop every other drug, but man it’s hard to get my diet in check.” – Beck [32:31]
• Christopher relates to the temptation of a drink or indulgence “when things are going well,” and they agree: pleasure—and podcasting!—is about feeling good.

10. Comedy, Status, Life Advice, and Culture Wars

[34:12–51:05]

• Wide-ranging riffs about Donald Trump’s hedonism, Rosie O’Donnell as a childhood TV idol (“pretending she wanted to f*ck Tom Cruise”), and late ‘90s TV as a formative influence.
• Christopher: “I want her [Rosie] to be my teacher.” [36:21]
• Hilariously dark takes on the entertainment industry—including Beck’s sketchy audition stories for Nickelodeon (“just him… me and one guy” [44:20]) and how parents/teachers can overlook red flags.
• Playful, then pointed, debate on whether being an SNL cast member is more fun than shilling voiceovers for Buffalo Wild Wings (“B-dubs is the best job ever!” – Christopher [59:59])

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Listener Calls & Advice Highlights

Call #1: Smothered by Affectionate Girlfriend

[70:41–82:36]

• Situation: Guy feels smothered by his girlfriend’s constant need for attention after moving in together.
• Advice:
  • Beck: “Have the uncomfortable conversation ASAP… You have to hurt her feelings a little, because you should have done this in the beginning.” [78:47]
  • Christopher: “Bring up codependency—it usually kills relationships. Set specific times: here’s when I go out with friends, here’s when I play video games.” [80:22]
  • Eldis: “This only works if you’re compatible in terms of togetherness. Odds are, it’s doomed.” [77:43]
• Memorable Line:
  • Stav: “You gotta be able to sniff this out… This is an early vibe check. You moved in too early.” [79:16]

Call #2: Faking Religion for Church Gig Money

[83:25–90:31]

• Situation: Black lesbian caller, fired from a church for racial reasons, now wants to keep playing at churches (despite being atheist) for high-paying gigs.
• Advice:
  • Stav: “Have you seen what choir directors in Atlanta look like?… There’s a whole world of gay guys with paisley bowties running around Atlanta churches.” [87:33]
  • Christopher: “Go get that money. It’s just a gig. They fired you for being right. Sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it—it’s work!” [88:10]
• Memorable Line:
  • Beck: “Depending on the city, every musician plays bachelorette-party jazz or gospel for fat tourists—don’t sweat it.” [88:23]

Call #3: Dad Wants to Give Estranged Sons Part of Estate—Wife Objects

[91:47–103:40]

• Situation: Caller’s dad wants to give his estranged sons (the caller’s half-brothers) $10k each from the estate, against the late mother’s wishes. The caller’s wife objects, seeing it as disrespectful to the mother.
• Advice:
  • Stav: “Your dad’s an asshole for abandoning his first family. If anything, they deserve more.” [98:20]
  • Christopher: “Just let go of whatever anger there is and move on. Ten grand is a token—don’t make this about principle. It’s your dad’s money.” [98:44]
  • Eldis (channeling Albanian wisdom): “When brides enter the family, they rot it from within.” [101:38]
• Memorable Debates: The gang gleefully roast Balkan misogyny, comparing Greek and Albanian family values.

Call #4: Debating Circumcision for Their Son

[106:26–112:47]

• Situation: Expectant dad (“clipped” himself) wants to keep his baby uncut, but wife (influenced by nurse mother) is adamant about circumcision for hygiene.
• Advice:
  • Stav: “You can’t clip a kid. It’s f*cked up to put a knife to a baby’s penis three days into life.” [108:03]
  • Eldis: “It’s noble not to do it. Just learn how to clean a [son’s] uncircumcised penis and teach him.” [110:08]
  • Christopher: “Ultimately, it probably doesn’t matter... but it’s more important it doesn’t affect your marriage.” [111:31]

Call #5: Should a Vacation Fling Be at The Child’s Birth?

[113:31–121:20]

• Caller: Responding to a prior call—a man who impregnated a woman in France, unsure about involvement.
• Advice (satirically debunked):
  • The caller suggests “even if you’re not in your kid’s life, be at the birth.”
  • Beck & Christopher skewer the advice: “Maybe the worst advice I’ve ever heard in my life… that would be confusing and awful for everybody.” [115:00]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You’re single? I’m not. I’m married. It takes a lot off the table… that used to be a lot of dark nights." – Christopher [31:03]
• "My biggest problem is obviously eating... Let me get some pussy, let me get some al pastor..." – Beck [32:31]
• "You either get laughs or you don’t. With theater, it’s sociopaths convincing themselves they’re the best." – Beck [41:25]
• "Your wife says, ‘how could you do this?’, your mom’s a ghost, no one is happy." – Stav, on inheritance drama [101:01]
• "You have to. That’s the problem when you start from real forms of entertainment..." – Beck, on podcasting vs. ‘serious’ work [61:32]
• "You can’t care that it’s good or not. It’s slop. You piggies will eat it up." – Beck [61:58]
• "Costumes are back. Getting your dick hard is back." – Beck (on new “this thing is back of the week”) [68:06]

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Comedy, Tone, and Chemistry

• The whole episode swings between deep, sincere life talk—a fair dose of therapy and wisdom—and wild adolescent humor about masturbation, family schemes, and podcasting as the last stop for the brain-damaged artist.
• There’s affectionate ribbing among the crew, with running gags about Balkan family misogyny, clowning as a sexual racket, and podcast producing as a job for the incurably unfazed.
• The language is open, irreverent, and often explicit, with everyone on-mic comfortable dropping f-bombs and R-rated punchlines.

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Timestamps for Major Topics

• [01:00–05:00] – Names, last-name-as-first-name, “prep school kid” worries
• [05:00–10:00] – Parenting strategies in LA, cultural references, AI romance
• [10:50–15:15] – Hilarious masturbation memories, adolescent experiments
• [16:32–20:18] – Religion, Greek Orthodox & traditions
• [21:45–24:14] – Greek governmental jobs, bartering, family history
• [24:55–29:35] – Study abroad, acting school, clowning boom
• [31:05–33:51] – Hedonism, maturity, podcasting as adult daycare
• [34:12–37:52] – Rosie O’Donnell, ‘90s TV, comedic influences
• [40:07–47:55] – Acting, theater kids, SNL stories, Nickelodeon audition horror
• [70:41–82:36] – Call: Over-affectionate girlfriend, codependency
• [83:25–90:31] – Call: Playing church gigs as an atheist, work vs. authenticity
• [91:47–103:40] – Call: Family inheritance drama
• [106:26–112:47] – Call: Circumcision debate for son
• [113:31–121:20] – Call: Attending child’s birth after a one-night-stand

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Final Notes

If you want an unfiltered, sometimes-raunchy conversation about coming-of-age, the pitfalls of adulthood, and the security blanket of comedy, this is Stavvy’s World at its best—a mix of big, hard laughs and actual life advice you didn’t realize you needed. Beck Bennett slots perfectly into Stav’s hangout vibe, shining light on both the clownish and profound.

Listen for:

• The most honest advice on codependency you’ll hear on a comedy podcast
• Unapologetic takes on religious identity and family inheritance
• Nostalgic chaos about adolescence, masturbation, and why clowns have taken over LA improv

Best summary line:
“It’s slop. You piggies will eat it up.” – Beck [61:58]

Transcript

[Christopher Storer]

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[Beck Bennett]

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[Christopher Storer]

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[Beck Bennett]

Kids that you know about is actually.

[Christopher Storer]

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[Beck Bennett]

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[Christopher Storer]

Month required new customer offer for first three months only.

[Beck Bennett]

Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We have Beck Bennett here on the co Powerful. Dude, the double Bs. The double Bs. Beck Bennett with a.

[Christopher Storer]

That's right.

[Beck Bennett]

They pop out the alliteration. Beck Bennett.

[Christopher Storer]

Beck Bennett. It's my middle name too back.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh really?

[Christopher Storer]

It's my mom's maiden name. First name Christopher.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, dog.

[Christopher Storer]

That's dog.

[Beck Bennett]

Chris Bennett.

[Christopher Storer]

Forgettable man.

[Beck Bennett]

Chris Bennett sucks dick, dude.

[Christopher Storer]

They were like. That's actually what my mom said. I was like 1 years old. She's like, chris Bennett sucks dick, dude.

[Beck Bennett]

There's no way she's whispering to you.

[Christopher Storer]

Lights in a big freaking movie.

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Mother's maiden name. That's a power move. That's a feminist move.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it really is. My son has my wife's maiden name.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, nice.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Hodges.

[Beck Bennett]

Hodges. That's a good one too.

[Christopher Storer]

Hodges is a cool name. It feels very last name. Yeah, yeah. But it's a fun, fun option.

[Beck Bennett]

But it's not like there's a couple of those. There's like Parker like Hodges does. Isn't quite dickhead because last name can be. You're a dickhead. Yeah. Back two doesn't sound like a dickhead. Last name.

[Christopher Storer]

It does. It kind of. It sounds like a first name.

[Beck Bennett]

It does.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean it's my first name.

[Beck Bennett]

You're in there.

[Christopher Storer]

My middle name.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. It's your. As far as show business concerned, it's your name.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Beck Bennett]

You Know, but, yeah, like, his last names can definitely. It feels a little prep schooly.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

But I think you guys are good. Hodges. It feels almost like a working class.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

You know?

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. That's kind of. That's kind of where I came from.

[Beck Bennett]

Love that.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Yeah. Are you family from Detroit?

[Beck Bennett]

Love that. Well, you scared, though? Because, like, giving a kid a last name, first name, you are in the danger zone of raising, like, a prep school kid.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Are you also. Now, this is always my worry when, like, you start off a regular person, then you get to be on, like, SNL and movies and shit.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Are you scared of having, like, a dickhead child who's, like, rich or whatever?

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, because. Because I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. 1,000%. Oh, of course. Yeah. In L. A. Yeah. We, like. We, like, moved. I mean, we, like, Northeast L. A.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, as far away as possible from, like.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

We, like, really don't want west side schools. Because, I mean, the thing about, like. I mean, there are some private schools that are fine, but, like, there are certain private schools in LA where it's like, the parents have so much money and they're famous.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And that's just. That's a tough question.

[Christopher Storer]

What does that do to. I don't know. I mean, like.

[Beck Bennett]

And even if your kid. You do your best to, like, have your kid be normal. It's like, oh, he's going to school with a James Cameron son.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You know what I mean?

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Go over to James Cameron house. Come on. Be like, this place sucks. Yeah. Why don't we have three movie theaters? Why don't we have, like, why don't.

[Beck Bennett]

We have a Pandora jungle gym in our house?

[Christopher Storer]

Why don't we have the Titanic under the pool so we can swim through it?

[Beck Bennett]

Like, this sucks.

[Christopher Storer]

Fucking sucks. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Why can't we jack off to Rose's tits? She's got a big picture of it. And we don't even have a big picture of anyone's kids.

[Christopher Storer]

Feel free. It's just like, you can do anything there. You're supposed to be restricted as a child. Those kids have no restrictions.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Jacking off all over whatever movies their.

[Beck Bennett]

Father directed with tits in it, they get to jack off the stills of them.

[Christopher Storer]

They're losing their minds. I saw George Clooney recently, was like, yeah, we want our kids. They. They're raising their kids away from Hollywood.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, good. He's like, we're rad kids.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. I think he's got two.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Christopher Storer]

With Amal. Amal.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a Big one. That's a cool. You got to check. You got to tip your cap to Clooney for.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Ending up with Amal. She's an actually cool, interesting person, you know?

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, I don't know her. I've never talked to her, but she.

[Beck Bennett]

We go way back, me, and.

Yeah, we talk about, like, un and, like, laws and, like, that level.

[Christopher Storer]

Dude, I just love to get into it with her.

[Beck Bennett]

No, you're right. What the do I know. She could be a piece of.

[Elders]

Never.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, almost never having heard her speak or contribute to anything.

[Beck Bennett]

I just see her.

[Christopher Storer]

Her vibe is.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And she, by the way, is hot as.

[Christopher Storer]

She's hot as.

[Beck Bennett]

So he picked, like, a smart diplomat lawyer. But she wasn't busted.

[Christopher Storer]

She still looks like a Clooney kind. She kind of that dark sort of classic.

[Beck Bennett]

Totally. Totally.

[Christopher Storer]

But they're, like, raising their kids on a farm in France. He's like, I just want a normal life for them. There's no way that.

[Beck Bennett]

Too far the other way.

[Christopher Storer]

Too far the other way, too far.

[Beck Bennett]

You turn the dial way too.

[Christopher Storer]

You got to be careful because, like, you're like, oh, I just feel like with raising kids, I mean, I have no clue.

[Beck Bennett]

Nobody. How old's your kid?

[Christopher Storer]

He's. He turns 4 in December.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

But, like, you're like, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna raise him with this. And then they, like, often end up being like, I fucking hate that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I just want to go the opposite way.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes. You know what I mean? And then it's like, like, well, like, you want your kids to kind of like. Yeah, like, I get. You, like, want to have them have a certain life, but then it's also, like, you want to let them do their own thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Of course.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, I don't want, like, my kid to just be like, yeah, dad, like, I'm an actor like you, and I'm into everything that you're into, and we're best friends. I mean, that would be. That'd be better than, like, you Dad.

[Beck Bennett]

I hate, of course.

[Christopher Storer]

But, like, I want, you know, you want them to do their own thing. You kind of want to, like. I feel like you want to, like, keep it vague enough, you know, like.

[Beck Bennett]

Give them some options, give them some.

[Christopher Storer]

Room, give them some breathing room, but.

[Beck Bennett]

You can't have them be, like, somewhere in a fit. Like, a farm in France is like, that's not the real world.

[Christopher Storer]

That's not the real world.

[Beck Bennett]

You literally. They might as well be wearing 3D goggles and living in Pandora as far as they might. They might as well think they're avatars.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, they're going to, like, talk to real kids and they're going to be, like, not have any cultural reference. Yeah, totally. Like, I don't. I don't get this. And then it's going to be not well equipped. And George Clooney, Amal, you're blowing it.

[Beck Bennett]

You're blowing it.

[Christopher Storer]

In a big city. And get them an iPad.

[Beck Bennett]

Let them watch Mr.

[Christopher Storer]

Beast. You say Mr. Beast, huh? I think you going to say Mr. Bean. Let them watch Mr. Bean. Come on. They need to be with it.

[Beck Bennett]

They need to be cultural. They got to be cool.

[Christopher Storer]

They got to watch.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I mean, that is funny because I think about that too. Like, my. My brother had a kid. My friend has had a, you know, kid. And like, I'm very much in the. It's like, you know, holiday season. You're going home. And I'm like, oh, I want to, like, show these kids. I want. They're gonna be cool kids. They're gonna not watch, like, dumb, right?

[Christopher Storer]

They're gonna watch and watch Paw Patrol.

[Beck Bennett]

They're gonna watch that I liked. Or they're gonna watch peewees.

[Christopher Storer]

You know, whatever. That's exactly what I said. Peewees are like.

[Beck Bennett]

And no baby's gonna give a. About peewee.

[Christopher Storer]

Unfortunately, absolutely not.

[Beck Bennett]

Their brain has been. Is mushed by, like, computer. Like, computer generated.

[Christopher Storer]

It's all computer generated. It's so fast.

[Beck Bennett]

And yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, wide eyes.

[Beck Bennett]

You can't compete with that. Peewee can't compete with that.

[Christopher Storer]

You try to, like, give them, like, good music and they're like, no, I just want.

[Beck Bennett]

Whatever, Right? You don't want to be. Because that's the other thing. It's like, even if it takes, then they're the kid. Like, you remember a kid growing up who's like, everyone's listening to, you know, whatever, Spice Girls. And he's like, I like Steely Dan, right? And I was like, shut up, you fucking pussy.

[Christopher Storer]

I had a little bit of that. Well, I was like, very. Like, which girl? Conformist. That was the word. That really was buzzy back then.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I grew up in north suburbs of Chicago. Well, okay. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Christopher Storer]

Hell yeah. And like, yeah. I remember being like, classic rock. Just being clowned on by my friends. Just like, I remember, like, one of the dads dropping us off at a dance, being like, yeah, Beck gets it. And I was like, yeah, like, that's definitely stuck with me.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, you want to hang out with.

[Christopher Storer]

If you. If you Are interested in girls at all. Right. Just listen to some regular music.

[Beck Bennett]

Of course, whatever.

[Christopher Storer]

I like this music. But I was like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I like Fish, Widespread Panic, cuz my brother was into it and I was like, yeah man, I'm not all about the man and like the corporation.

And so instead I just listened to people just like plug away at their guitar for a half.

[Beck Bennett]

Of course.

[Christopher Storer]

Like a big field.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, exactly. It's like the actual parties happening over here. People are doing drugs, looking, you know, maybe touching a titty or two.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And you're like. You're watching Dueling Wonder Walls.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

At like a fire. Yeah, yeah. You're on the gem bay.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, you're on the gem bay.

[Beck Bennett]

On the Jam, the guy who couldn't play the, the instruments but hanging out.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely. Just kind of playing quietly.

[Beck Bennett]

Tough guy to be.

[Christopher Storer]

But yeah, yeah, you gotta, you wanna, you wanna tap into the. A little bit of the culture.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure, sure.

[Christopher Storer]

Your peers.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's also like inevitable, I think. Like I just can't even imagine. Like it's so funny to think this like, you know, going home, visiting my family, seeing my little fat nephew. He's like not even a year old. I'm like, what the does the world gonna look like in 11 years?

[Christopher Storer]

No idea.

[Beck Bennett]

What the kind of weird shit is he gonna be into? Is his first girlfriend even go?

[Christopher Storer]

No, probably not. I just read that on the. I was reading, I was scrolling on the way here in the cab and I was like, oh, get this shit out of your head. You don't want this in your head.

[Beck Bennett]

Before you go talk.

[Christopher Storer]

One of the things I saw was one out of five teenagers has had a relationship with AI or knows somebody who has.

[Beck Bennett]

Which by the way, that's. That reporting is ridiculous. Because that means like a horny 14 year old was like, do you want to suck my penis? And the AIs like, yes, your penis is awesome. And he's like, nice. Do you have big tits? Yes, I have big tits. Please splooge all over them. And they're like, that's. He's just sexting a fucking robot, basically.

[Christopher Storer]

I would definitely do that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean that's definitely like when you put it that way, that's above. That's a step above porn visual, you know, pictures. Videos.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh yeah. If they get some pictures in there. Because I think essentially it's like the way again in a world before computers, people everything physically.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Including like livestock, like couches, pillows. But like people would put their dicks in pumpkins.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean American pies are classic.

[Christopher Storer]

Especially with American pie. Like, what can I eat up? Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I was too fat to desecrate a pie like that.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But I thought about it. I really considered it, but I never did, ultimately, for fat reasons.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I was like, man, I kind of want to have this.

[Christopher Storer]

Every single time.

[Beck Bennett]

All right.

I can't a pie unless. Yeah, maybe if only I'd come across like a subpar pie. But it did seem like a good idea. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. I have a friend who cut a hole in a watermelon. Or no, a cantaloupe and heated it up, put it in the microwave too long and was like, burned his penis. Yeah. I, I. And I. I think I'm like, oh, you know. No, you know what I did? This is. I've passed this around at this point for a while. Like, no, I didn't do that.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. But now.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, but. And you're a father. I apologize if I tell this on every single podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no, no. This. In terms of stuff, you. This is the podcast.

[Christopher Storer]

This is where.

[Beck Bennett]

This is where this will be. It'll be boosted the most great. By this audience.

[Christopher Storer]

This is where my. My story finally.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I.

[Christopher Storer]

You know, Sock and boppers.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Christopher Storer]

If you.

Said and them too. That's the song that I heard.

[Beck Bennett]

All that fish had melted your brain.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

More fun than a pillow fight.

That's enough, elders. Thank you. Wow. Showing off for Beck. First time in your life you've ever. You've ever produced in real time without being right there for minutes.

[Elders]

I'm always ready, always on go.

[Christopher Storer]

I love your voice. It's a little bit of, you know. Have you gotten this before the room? A little bit of kind of Tommy.

[Beck Bennett]

He has specific rhythm to his speech.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Our entire friend group loves to annihilate him for.

[Elders]

I hate hearing my voice, but I feel like it is a fun voice to, like, mock and just do your own.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes, it definitely is a fun voice to Mark.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a good voice to Mark.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes, it definitely is.

But, yeah, with the sock and boppers, I, you know, I had him for a while. It took me a little bit.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure, sure.

[Christopher Storer]

But then, you know, I don't know whether it was, like, in a movie or in some sort of magazine that my brother had.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Christopher Storer]

But sex dolls.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Christopher Storer]

They're. They're. They're. They're caverns. That's not a good word.

[Beck Bennett]

They're holes.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, that looks exactly like the sock embarrassment.

And I got a little vaseline And I went to town on those things. That's awesome. It was incredible. Better than anything I could have created. And then. And then one day, my brother has his friend over my younger brother. Oh, no. I got them in the. Like, the closet, and they're like, oh, sock and bobbers. And his friend puts his hand in. It's like.

And they knew immediately, like, g. I didn't. I didn't. Complete and stuff.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Lubrication, The Vaseline, the remnants.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. They, like. They blushed and walked out of there pretty quickly, I don't think. Me and my brother talked about it for a couple years, and I was like, you know that time he's like, yeah, you. The soccer bobbers.

[Beck Bennett]

To put them back in the area that they normally are after you.

[Christopher Storer]

Them.

[Beck Bennett]

That's the diabolical part.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Here you go. Somebody play with these.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

That's when I would jerk off.

[Beck Bennett]

Now I'm curious, because I was never a big stuff guy.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, I mean, I did a pillow maybe early on when I really didn't get the hang of jacking off, you know, are we. Are you getting full strokes on the sock and bopper? Are you using it more like a pocket?

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, we'll see. I've never used a pocket post.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. But it's more of a. Like, you jack off with it, or are you, like, really rearing back and the sock embopper, I think. Do you remember?

[Christopher Storer]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. Because that'd be kind of fun if somebody, like, pinned down the soccer bopper.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Really gave it full strokes. And, like, I have to practice for sex.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

Because that's the funny thing you do when you're, like, 12. You're like, I have to. I'll be getting any day now. Absolutely. Got to get my stroke right.

[Christopher Storer]

You got to get your stroke right. You got to get your.

[Beck Bennett]

Your reps. And I don't want to be embarrassed. I remember, like, the first time they gave us a condom. The very first time I took one home. I was like, gonna need to practice jacking off with this, because I'll be getting any day now. It was maybe eight years after that that I even came into contact.

[Christopher Storer]

And you were like, I have to jack off with it.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right.

[Christopher Storer]

To see what it feels like.

[Beck Bennett]

Exactly. To be like, because. Yeah. I don't want to be embarrassed when I get pussy. Not be able to get harsh. My dick must. Latex. Must be like a second skin to my.

[Christopher Storer]

You don't want to be thrown off by the light.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right, right. It is a little and again, no problem whatsoever.

[Christopher Storer]

That's fantastic.

[Beck Bennett]

Was not. You know, by the time I. I actually did, literally eight years after that.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I was good to go.

[Christopher Storer]

That's awesome. Yeah, man. Thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

It was really cool to finally get well into college.

[Christopher Storer]

And there was that. So that's when you lost your virginity?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Yep.

[Christopher Storer]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. 17.

[Beck Bennett]

Nice dude bragging.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I was before you.

[Christopher Storer]

But I wasn't like. Like I didn't have casual sex.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Christopher Storer]

College, they took me a while. I was like, you gotta love the person right up.

[Beck Bennett]

What I love is jam bands and. And. And monogamy. Saga boppers. Monogamy. Loving the woman you have sex with.

[Christopher Storer]

I was very cool.

[Beck Bennett]

It's funny to be like into like. Yeah. Anti conformity. The man. But like, like he had some good ideas about relationships.

[Christopher Storer]

Don't listen to that. But like. Yeah. Don't drink. Yeah. Don't smoke.

Save yourself for the Lord.

[Beck Bennett]

Did you grow up religious in the Chicago burbs?

[Christopher Storer]

I. I grew up. I not. I mean, I grew up going to a church. The church was called the Holy Comforter. Love. Sounds like a master store.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that is. The Holy Comfort is awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it was Piscopalian, so. Which is like very light. Light, you know, like very chill. How about you? Did you.

[Beck Bennett]

We were. I grew up Greek Orthodox, but Orthodox again. People hear Orthodox and they think of like every other religion where. That's insane.

[Christopher Storer]

Right?

[Beck Bennett]

Greek people did not give a.

[Christopher Storer]

It was like, yeah, what does that. What is the Orthodox level? Is it like another.

[Beck Bennett]

I would put it at like. It would be like if think about all the pomp and circumstance of Catholicism but with like really not as much.

[Christopher Storer]

Guilt or like, oh, great.

[Beck Bennett]

People. Not they. You know, it's really. It's similar in that like they kind of split from the. That's the big split is like the Catholic Church kind of comes from the Orthodox Church. And they. I don't know what the they. They fought over. I mean, I know we have different. Our communion is literally a little piece of bread in wine and they give you in a golden spoon. You go. And you have to eat it after some old lady. Like, that was a spoon. And I'd be like. I'd be like. As a little kid, you're like, that's gross. What the mom. And she's like like, God cleans it. And you're like. That was.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And you just have to be like. And then. But I remember distinctly having to go after like an old ass lady with like.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, you don't know what's going on? No.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a tough mouth to follow.

[Christopher Storer]

So many mouths.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, somebody's got to have herpes.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I mean, probably. Probably somebody has gotten hurt. Like, oral herpes at a Greek Orthodox communion.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

There's no way. It hasn't happened. But that's the Lord, right? Yeah. So I guess Catholics were right. You want a cracker? Is definitely the. Like, those things are safer way to do it.

[Christopher Storer]

And in our church, they had a fresh bread broke off a little piece like that. Some wine, separately.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. So you're closer to us.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah, we're a little closer.

[Beck Bennett]

But it was literally like a golden spoon in his chalice, and he would, like, kind of break off a little piece of bread. It was kind of weird.

[Christopher Storer]

Dip it around. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Get a nice piece.

[Christopher Storer]

Soggy. Open up.

[Beck Bennett]

I was an altar boy, so you got the crust.

[Christopher Storer]

Nice, dude.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Hell, yeah, dude.

[Beck Bennett]

Eldest, too. Russian Orthodox, though.

[Elders]

Is that a Russian Orthodox church?

[Beck Bennett]

We didn't want him at the Greek Orthodox church they sponsored.

[Elders]

My family got us set up in Baltimore, so we kind of had a ride for them.

You know.

[Christopher Storer]

Did you drop it, or is your family still going to the. The Russian Orthodox?

[Elders]

We moved when I was in fourth grade and just never went to church again.

[Beck Bennett]

I didn't realize that you completely never went again.

[Elders]

We maybe went back once or twice for, like.

[Beck Bennett]

You didn't even go to, like, Easter? Because that's the classic Orthodox.

[Elders]

Maybe literally once or twice.

[Beck Bennett]

It's Easter.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

It's not. It's not Christmas. We don't give a about Christmas.

[Christopher Storer]

I was in Greece. I studied abroad my junior year of college, and then I went traveling and I went to Athens. Oh, you were. During Easter, everything was shut down. They were just roasting lamb.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

It was like. And we went to a restaurant that day, and I had the best lamb I've ever. Dude, it was just unbelievable. All these people just. Just roasting.

[Beck Bennett]

It's incredible.

[Christopher Storer]

Their businesses.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And I remember this is. That's the cool part. The lame part is that I got the. What are the beads?

Because they're everywhere. And I like. I was like, flipping Combolo.

[Beck Bennett]

It feels.

[Christopher Storer]

Well, come back. Back to la. And I was like, check this out.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Like a Hacky Sack sack.

[Beck Bennett]

It is. It is kind of like a cooler Hacky Sack, though. I like a gobolo. It does make me feel like I'm connected to my roots. It's just like these little beads that an old Greek man plays with, basically.

[Christopher Storer]

Is it for Counting prayers.

[Beck Bennett]

It's not rosary. It's a fidget spinner.

[Christopher Storer]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

It's an old Greek guy fidget spinner.

[Christopher Storer]

I wasn't sure if it was like, the.

[Beck Bennett]

No. And again, I, like, I need to stress Greek people do not really give a. About religion. Like, it's. It is the kind of thing for religion. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

You care too much.

[Beck Bennett]

Totally.

[Christopher Storer]

It becomes something different.

[Beck Bennett]

It's totally symbolic. And they're. Obviously, the church is kind of powerful. And there was, you know, there were times where it was too powerful in Greece, but there was like, there were fashion. There was like a fascist junta in the late 60s, early 70s that was very, like, military, you know, church. And I think ever since then, people are like, all right, the church gets to be symbolic, but you don't get any. You don't get to be in the affairs of our country anymore because you tried to, like, you know, subvert our democracy, whatever.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And now it's like, you know, you go to church on Easter, everyone is Christian. Even, like, my cousin who, like, truly, like, was in mourning for months when. After Ozzy Osbourne died, like, loves metal, is just like a, you know, just hasn't really had a real job. He's like 40 years old and, like. But even he's like, yeah, he would identify as a Christian, but is he. You know what I mean? Like, that's kind of the vibe, which. Which I think is good because I think it's like, it's enough to kind of keep your society having some order, but it's not enough to, you know, everybody being fucking homophobic or, you know, you don't. You don't go really crazy. Obviously, those exist in Greece.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm not here to say they're enlightened. I've certainly overheard some. Some interesting conversations.

[Christopher Storer]

Come on.

Not a chance.

[Beck Bennett]

They're good. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

They don't have. Have sex.

[Beck Bennett]

Very, like, very straight and narrow.

Yeah. It didn't almost wreck their economy from embezzling and not showing up to work.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. I mean, my godfather, the Bounce back a little bit, right?

[Beck Bennett]

I guess. I mean, it's fine. It's a little better now.

[Christopher Storer]

Better.

[Beck Bennett]

It's just chill. I mean, literally, I had family members who just worked. They just had, like, regular people had no show jobs in Greece. Like, they're in the mafia, where it's like, you could just get a public. Like, my godfather worked. He was a contractor and he had his own business. And then he worked technically for the Department of Power or something. He was a handyman for them. And he just straight up would go in there, clock in, and then go home. And he worked the overnight shifts. He would just clock in, go to sleep, go back in the morning and clock.

[Christopher Storer]

This is just kind of a known thing that was just like, you kind of got a job. You kind of got a rapport.

[Beck Bennett]

It was like, yes. If they need something every once in a while, get pissed. Like, we would be out at dinner and his phone would ring. He'd be like, I gotta go to work for like, 25 minutes. And he'd be pissed off. But that's just how the society ran for a while, which I think is awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it's kind of like. It's kind of like having, you know, I don't know, you know, people just get money.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, exactly. That'd be nice.

[Christopher Storer]

Government. Everybody gets a little bit. A little bit job. We get to calling you when we need you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. But we're not going to overdo it. Yeah, you can still fudgeing, you know? And now it's like he moved to, like, an island, and he kind of went back to living like it's the 1800s. Like, they have, like, a barter system. Like, he has. Honey.

[Christopher Storer]

Which island does he live?

[Beck Bennett]

He's. He's on Naxos.

[Christopher Storer]

Okay. As if I would know. There are thousands. I've been. I've been a couple times.

[Beck Bennett]

But if it's like. It's the. It's the main. It's like the capital of the chain of islands that all the famous ones are in. Like Santorini, further out, like Mykono, all those islands. Like, it's the big one at the center. It's a great island. You should go. It actually is a great one to visit because it's. It's huge. It's a lot of to do. But it's not super crazy with, like, tourists because they're all in the other ones. But he just has, like, he has honey and he likes. And he has, like, rabbits that he, like, shoots on his property. And, like, him and his boys truly, like, trade. He'll come home and be like, my boy left. Eddie had some. Some fresh beans and moonshine. I traded him a rabbit for it. And like, we had. We had, like, rabbit stew and moonshine. When I was, like, 20, I would go visit them because it was a fun vacation because you didn't have. If you paid for the plane, you could just crash with your relatives.

[Christopher Storer]

Right, Right.

[Beck Bennett]

But, yeah, he's. It's very interesting.

[Christopher Storer]

Greece is, like, my favorite place to go.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Where'd you. When you studied abroad, where'd you study?

[Christopher Storer]

I studied in London.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Christopher Storer]

And then I was just like, traveling from there. Yeah. And I went to that time. I went to Athens and Santorini, and then I went back with some friends and we took a. Like a catamaran around the islands, like Hydra. And closer.

[Beck Bennett]

Closer to Athens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are great islands, too, though.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it was. It was beautiful. And, like, the food is just so good. Like, anybody can eat in Greece and not get sick.

[Beck Bennett]

It's the best.

[Christopher Storer]

And not get diarrhea.

[Beck Bennett]

I know.

[Christopher Storer]

It's crazy. And it's just, like, great.

[Beck Bennett]

And they're emerging.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, they are, like, good. It's. It's so good. It's so fresh.

[Beck Bennett]

It's awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it's red.

[Beck Bennett]

How so? When you were. What was the. Like, study abroad? Because I remember being in college and being like, like, I'm gonna go abroad and, like, be. And I never did. And be like. And be like a man of the world. I never. I just, like, dropped out of college just to do stand up comedy. But that's better.

[Christopher Storer]

That's a better option.

[Beck Bennett]

For me. Yeah, it probably was. And honestly, I was probably gonna study abroad in Greece and like, that's barely.

[Christopher Storer]

And just clock in at night.

[Beck Bennett]

Honestly, that was the plan. I literally wanted to go to just watch soccer, even in. During the season instead of. Because we would always go during the preseason, basically because we were there in August. But would you start when you were. When you were out in London? What were you studying?

[Christopher Storer]

I studied theater.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, you were doing some Shakespearean shows.

[Christopher Storer]

I was doing Shakespeare, which I like. I was in acting at usc, and then I did this. But I Like, what I loved about USC is that you didn't need, like, a Shakespearean monologue. Didn't do a lot of that. But I wanted to study abroad. It was like a Shakespeare.

[Beck Bennett]

You did like a monologue from Point Break to get in.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

Pretty good, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I rewatched Point Break.

[Christopher Storer]

Man.

[Beck Bennett]

Brody was just right about everything.

[Christopher Storer]

It was.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, he really.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it's incredible.

[Beck Bennett]

He's completely nihilistic. He's the man that is like.

[Christopher Storer]

I feel like a lot of people know that movie and it's respected, but it's still not really at the level of respect that I fully agree.

[Beck Bennett]

It's so good.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But sorry. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

You're a usc, so I studied Shakespeare.

[Beck Bennett]

So at the time, you're like, you're on. You're on theater kid mode.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You're like, I'm a actor.

[Christopher Storer]

Actor. Actor. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Christopher Storer]

I played Edmund.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Christopher Storer]

Lear.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Christopher Storer]

Really cool stuff.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

We had a clowning class which I really love. Oh, mask work.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow.

[Christopher Storer]

Father. Awesome.

[Beck Bennett]

So you have to act like they would put a mask on you and you have to be like.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, well you'd like, you'd like look at the mask. Mask. And it'd be like these, you know, sort of like the Comedia dell' Arte issue. But like just sort of like. Yeah, you'd like look at it and you would. It was just fun because you'd be like, you come up with a voice and a name. Right?

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Christopher Storer]

I don't even know. Like this class would be sitting. It'd be like improvising.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Thing that you. And just coming up with the craziest. And it was really, really fun. It was like very. It was the opposite of Shakespeare.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right, right, right.

[Christopher Storer]

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[Beck Bennett]

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[Christopher Storer]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line big man up north. And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Beck Bennett]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer.

[Christopher Storer]

Offer for first three months only.

[Beck Bennett]

Speed slow after 35 gigabytes. If network's busy, taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com I do think clowning has gone too far recently. Yeah, well, I mean clowning has become like. If improv is too strenuous for you, try clowning. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. Somebody's fucking dog is barking.

Good job, elders. I was doing it earlier but you just noticed. Right on, right on cue.

[Christopher Storer]

Don't worry, I've got the barking dog.

[Elders]

Watching commercials from the 90s over here.

[Beck Bennett]

He's been letting the sock embopper YouTube video play and his headphones. The fucking.

[Christopher Storer]

I'm doing producer.

[Beck Bennett]

That is fun though when you're like, when you're 20, like that's the time to do dumb like that. Like clowning yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

You know, and now with the clowning, I, I don't like, I respect.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't. Let me put. Let me, let me, let me go on record that I do not.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. I mean, like, I just feel like, you know, the clown. It's become popular again. Like at least in la, like there are a lot.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, it's gone crazy.

[Christopher Storer]

It's just like, you know, a lot of. It's like the buffon style. Do you know that's like. No, I don't know. The gross clowning. You know. Okay, okay. Getting naked kind of blood.

[Beck Bennett]

And there are people who are good at that. Don't be wrong. But it's like everything else where it's like. I would say clowning is worse. I mean, stand up the same way where it's like three. There's like, you know, half of the percentage of people who do stand up are good at it. Improv the same way.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

Clowning is even worse where there might be like four people on or that I'm interested in seeing clowning from and everyone else is like, you want to be a more interesting guy at your office, right? Or what it is, is like.

It'S like hot women have gotten into it to be like, I don't know. And then there's like a bunch whenever like hot women are into some kind of very low stakes creative pursuit. Guys that want to them are gonna do it. And it's like.

[Christopher Storer]

And it's just you get all these awful people involved in it. You bring in a lot of people that's really.

[Beck Bennett]

Or you see like some old fat French clown who' like he got to like some girl. Cuz that's how it works. Like some old guy gets he doesn't deserve from some dumb.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And then, and then if. If that's viewed at the right time, that'll create an army of dumb ugly disciples that are like.

[Christopher Storer]

This thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh yeah. I mean it's. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And don't get me wrong, everyone does everything to.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Ultimately I really do believe like humanity can be boiled down to that. That why at least some.

[Christopher Storer]

At least. Yeah, I guess that. Or at least some pleasure. Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, sure.

[Christopher Storer]

Do it to like. I feel like people do it to then like drink or to like smoke or.

[Beck Bennett]

But I think it all leads back to getting your nuts sucked or your licked. You know?

[Christopher Storer]

It is. It is. Wait, what?

[Beck Bennett]

You say you're not your nut sucked or your licked? Yeah, yeah, it is.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, you're single.

[Beck Bennett]

I am, yeah. I'm.

[Christopher Storer]

I'm Not. I'm married. It does. It does take a lot off the table. Like, that brought me back to like, you know, when you're single, like, and you like somebody, but then it kind of falls apart or you're like, friend.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Talking to them. It can really. That used to be a lot. Not a lot of dark nights, but like.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Emotional, dramatic. Oh, so intense. And that's just like off the table for me now.

[Beck Bennett]

No, that's nice. I mean, I've gotten to the. This is a theme in my life and we talk about on the pod where it's like, you can't live like a child forever. Which is what I'm doing.

[Christopher Storer]

You know, I kind of try. I try to like, live enough as an adult. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every now and then.

[Beck Bennett]

But that's. But I'm saying, like being in a relationship and having a kid and shit, it's like you're doing plenty of adult stuff.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

So that you can be chi. You can do childlike shit in a nice, wholesome way. What I'm talking about is like the impulse that got you to fuck sock emboppers. What if that. That ruled your life?

[Christopher Storer]

Still ruling my life. Oh, man, I'd be in so much trouble.

[Beck Bennett]

I know I would be.

[Christopher Storer]

I. I would not. I don't know if I'd be sitting.

[Beck Bennett]

Here, which is like, I've. That's my. That's my issue. It's like, I love the idea of like being in a nice. Just having that off the table completely. I also love the idea of having all this, like, all just trying to. And like being ruled by your base.

[Christopher Storer]

You like having that off the table.

[Beck Bennett]

I would love to not be ruled by my most base instincts.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Which is a real issue for me. Whether that's, That's. I mean, pleasure. Like, my. My biggest problem is obviously eating. I can't stop. Like, I re. I can get. I can stop doing every other drug. But man, is it hard to get my diet in check.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Even while I'm doing a bunch of other shit. It just really is a crazy psychological block.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's like it re. I am just the most old fashioned glutton in that. Like, let me get some pussy. Let me get some fucking al. Pastor.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Especially when, like, life is good. Like, things are going well. You're like, well, I might as well have some fun.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I. I can relate to that for sure. I mean, like, yeah. If you're, like, if you're. If you're kind of doing what you want to do. And things are.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Kind of fun. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna have a drink. I'm gonna have a fun meal.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And just like, enjoy this.

[Beck Bennett]

Totally, totally.

[Christopher Storer]

That was kind of the whole.

[Beck Bennett]

That's the whole point. Yeah, but that's. That goes back to my idea of, like. I do think that's ultimately what everyone is doing it for, but they grow out of it at some point. Point.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But, yeah, I don't know.

[Christopher Storer]

It does shift. For sure. I know.

[Beck Bennett]

It's.

[Christopher Storer]

It. It's like I. I was talking to a friend recently, and it's like, you know when you start working and doing stuff, whether it's like stand up or going somewhere for a job, and they, like, fly you out and put you up at a hotel, and it's like, yeah, I'm going to hit the mini bar. Then you get to a point where you're like, ah, I can't really do that.

[Beck Bennett]

So tired of this.

[Christopher Storer]

It's like, man, this is a different thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I know the exact shift.

[Christopher Storer]

The what? What? Feels good. But, yeah, I definitely go back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

There's nothing. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

[Christopher Storer]

You know, Kevin. What's his name? Kevin McAllister. And Home Alone 2. Being at the Plaza, just going nuts. Yeah, that's.

[Beck Bennett]

For me.

[Christopher Storer]

That's me. Like, it's like, that's what life is about.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that does look awesome. Hanging out with Donald Trump.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes, exactly.

Like, that's a guy who doesn't hold back. He does whatever he wants.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a guy who says what he feels.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

He's not worried about getting canceled.

[Christopher Storer]

We were talking about living to Donald Trump.

[Beck Bennett]

We're talking about getting trumped up, baby. It's the only way to live, unfortunately. Yeah, he is. He's having a good time at the expense of literally everything else.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, that is the. That is the ultimate. Like, what would I do with that much power? Would I just ruin the whole world?

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Just be like, all you.

[Beck Bennett]

You saw what you did.

[Christopher Storer]

When I got out of office last time, everybody came after me. I'm gonna just knock everybody around and go crazy. Like, so all those. All those people, like, they're all, like, jacked up on anger. They're like, it's a real drug. Whether it looks like cocaine. They might be doing cocaine. They might. Might be Adderall, whatever. Totally. I feel like they're all just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, just crush your enemy. I mean, it really sucks. It's got to be tough to be Rosie o'. DONNELL.

[Christopher Storer]

It's got to be.

[Beck Bennett]

Cuz he was his like number one enemy forever. And like look, he's a piece of ISIS fascist. They should all go to jail. But he is winning. Like he is, he is stunting on all his enemies in a way that it's got to be brutal to be Rosie. Like because she was winning for a while. She had a better career. He was kind of of the Apprentice is canceled. He's a lunatic who's going after Barack Obama and he's fucking president and he's got your ass.

[Elders]

And he like chased her out of the country in a way.

[Christopher Storer]

Like she doesn't even live here anymore.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know. She's a dream guest.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

We love.

[Christopher Storer]

Have you reached out?

[Beck Bennett]

I know, but. Right. Consider this my official, you know.

[Christopher Storer]

Have you always loved Rosie, dude?

[Beck Bennett]

The Rosie o' DONNELL talk show.

[Christopher Storer]

I love that. I love that.

[Beck Bennett]

Me too. Exactly. It was the Koosh balls. How. Yeah, I'm 36.

[Christopher Storer]

Okay. I'm 40. 41.

[Beck Bennett]

No, I was like a little ass kid watching that.

[Christopher Storer]

Dude.

[Beck Bennett]

I was, I was like since second grade being like Rosie's awesome fun man. She's.

[Christopher Storer]

I want her to be my teacher.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, absolutely. Oh yeah. That's kind of what it felt like. And I was also, it also felt, I wonder how much of this show basically, I bet you if you watch the Rosie o' DONNELL show, it's exactly like this show. Vibes wise, I probably just stole all her whole swag.

[Christopher Storer]

That's tight. That's a cool influence to have.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Makes me want to go back and check it out.

[Beck Bennett]

I might want to check it out because it was, it was afternoon talk show which is a very rare thing.

[Christopher Storer]

Like yeah, it wasn't daytime cuz she.

[Beck Bennett]

Was doing it like a late night show. But it came on at 3pm Right. Which is an interesting kind of a.

[Christopher Storer]

Vest there on the couch. Yeah. She wasn't going like, you know what like asking people about their relationships or like their pregnancies and trying them and having like emotional tearful conversations.

[Beck Bennett]

No, just having a good time pretending she wanted to Tom Cruise. I remember that.

[Christopher Storer]

I remember that all the time.

[Beck Bennett]

That was awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

That was so cool. We all now like she was, I mean maybe honestly way ahead of us. But like it dipped off for a while with Cruz. Now everybody's back. Everybody's just like, yeah, Cruise.

[Beck Bennett]

Well I guess if you were a lesbian, that is the body type. Who, if you're a lesbian who liked femme? Tom Cruise.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Twinkish.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

Elvish you know, I remember one episode being, this is how being a kid. There was just one. I don't remember who it was, but one lady was in Playboy and they showed the picture, but they put band aids over her tits. And I just remember being like one of those. Yeah. I just remember being in fourth grade or whatever and being like, awesome. Yeah. I remember being like, thank you for showing me tits, Rosie. You're.

[Christopher Storer]

Thank you for showing me on the show.

[Beck Bennett]

It was like a fun like. And that's. That's a cheeky thing to do in the middle of the day. Dude. Shout out to Rosie, man.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, dude. She knew. She knew we were watching this for my boys.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You know, when you get home from.

[Christopher Storer]

School, it's like, there's a C for you boys.

[Beck Bennett]

Dude. Kush is very seven year old boycotted.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, he really is flinging him out there.

[Beck Bennett]

So did you do. So you go to England, You're. You're playing.

Othello and blackface.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes, I'm doing black.

I'm like going to town.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Loving it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And then you come back and you want to be a. You're like, I'm a thespian.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. And I was like. Like, I came back and I was like, I'm not gonna do. I was in a improv and sketch group with Kyle Mooney and brother Good neighbor.

[Beck Bennett]

Very funny stuff.

[Christopher Storer]

Thank you so much. And yeah, we were all in a sketch group and I was like, I'm gonna take the fall off and. Because I'm gonna do three penny opera on the main stage.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Hell yeah. Mack the Knife and.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, dude, that song. Yeah, I know. Mack the Knife song.

[Christopher Storer]

He doesn't sing that song, though. I know, it sucks.

[Beck Bennett]

They sing it about him or.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, they sing it about him. The narrator sings it, Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Damn, that's a banger.

[Christopher Storer]

So I did that and then I came.

[Beck Bennett]

Mac was cool as. Huh.

[Christopher Storer]

He's a badass. He's a serial killer.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, Okay. I didn't realize he raped.

[Christopher Storer]

I didn't mean to say rape was cool, but. No, but he's like, he's got like serial killer girlfriend that he goes to visit. And like, it's a. I think it's. It might be Brecht. I think it's Brecht. So it's like, it's weird.

[Beck Bennett]

I. I just know that song's cool. And not knowing about the play, you hear like.

You'Re like, oh, he's cool. He stabs somebody. Who's the knife?

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Cool guy.

[Christopher Storer]

Really cool.

[Beck Bennett]

He'll stab you.

[Christopher Storer]

I assume he's kind of having fun with it. He's like, yeah, I'm a bad guy. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

That is. Yeah. So you're. You're playing Mac the Knife.

[Christopher Storer]

The Knife.

[Beck Bennett]

You're like, comedy's not for me, fellas.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm Max the Knife.

[Christopher Storer]

I studied abroad. I'm bringing and bringing Europe back, and I do that play. And then I. Yeah. And it was fine.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I remember being on stage, and, like, we had this really great actress in our class, and she was in it, and, like, I remember being on stage afterwards and some of the actors in our class coming up to her and being like, you were amazing. Oh, my God. And then being like, dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was great.

[Beck Bennett]

Pretty good. While they're waiting to talk.

[Christopher Storer]

You memorized all those lines. Cool, man. You really went for it with that one, huh? Yeah. You, like, really shot for the moon, man. Good for you. Oh, yeah. Then went back to my.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh. Actors will let you know. That's a funny theater Kids are hilarious. They're crazy how they are literally more competitive than athletes. And so.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, I think so.

[Beck Bennett]

Because sports, at. At bottom, you do play the game.

[Christopher Storer]

Game.

[Beck Bennett]

There is a close. It's not fully objective. There's refs, there's whatever. There's a close to objective.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Somebody wins. Somebody.

[Christopher Storer]

You're either good or you're not. Same with comedy. You're either. You either get laughs or you don't. With.

[Beck Bennett]

But even with comedy, you can. You can get the right review. You know, people get sometimes reviews that are crazy. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Or people know how to work an audience or class.

[Beck Bennett]

Totally. Totally.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, drop references and improv shows.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, exactly.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

They know the little tricks or whatever.

[Christopher Storer]

Whatever.

[Beck Bennett]

But even, you know. But I really feel like in theater, it's like there is really no objective. Like, some people are just super talented. But it's sociopaths that convince themselves they're the best.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

And nothing will ever truly convince them it's not true.

[Christopher Storer]

Right. They can be an awful thing.

No. And they're like, no, but I think it is.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And usually, like, you don't record stuff and watch it back. Right, Right. Living in that moment. Living in their feelings.

[Beck Bennett]

100.

[Christopher Storer]

Whether it's like, dance, singing or the act. Yeah. And they're just like. And it's not a team thing.

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, with improv, it kind of is. You know, with. With sketch and whatever. Like sports, definitely. Like, you're working together. And in theater, it's. You're kind of like, I guess you are a little bit, but you're looking out.

[Beck Bennett]

Everyone is always competing.

[Christopher Storer]

They're the. They're the star. They want to be the star in.

[Beck Bennett]

Like a hilariously, like, sociopathic Machiavellian way.

[Christopher Storer]

Like.

[Beck Bennett]

And it starts young. Yeah, it starts fucking young. I mean, you know, I. I don't know. It's just a very funny. And you don't. And you have parents that are like sports parents.

[Christopher Storer]

I'm sure your parents.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Your parents weren't theater parents, were they?

[Christopher Storer]

No, no. My mom, she would take me. She took me to auditions, like the children's theater. And she signed me up for. She lied about my age so I could take improv classes at Second City.

[Beck Bennett]

That's pretty cool.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. And then. Then from that I got an agent and went on like 10 auditions.

Yeah. In high school I was like 16.

[Beck Bennett]

Did you get fresh faced? Were you ever in, like a.

[Christopher Storer]

A weird situation? What's Fresh Face? Because that sounds.

[Beck Bennett]

How bad do you want to be in a Twix commercial, kid?

[Christopher Storer]

I did have a shady audition and luckily nothing. This is crazy. So, like, we go downtown. We're at like, I forget which hotel. It's a big fancy hotel.

[Beck Bennett]

Already a problem.

Already an issue.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. You feel like it's like. Yeah, you got. You just signed a kid. His mom doesn't know anything about auditions. Okay. Yeah, yeah, send them.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, send them in.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, send them into my room. I went up to this person's room. My mom's in the hallway.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no.

[Christopher Storer]

So there's no bed, but, you know, still got the. The pocket doors that open up into.

[Beck Bennett]

The bedroom if it's at least a suite. But still, man. Yeah, you're on thin ice.

[Christopher Storer]

And it was for Nickelodeon.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, wow. It's Dan Schneider.

[Christopher Storer]

Honestly, it might have been. I could. I could look up in my. No, I mean, I don't. My mom would have gotten the email that was prob call. But yeah, they were like, looking for like the next all that or something. And I had to sing and dance.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow.

[Christopher Storer]

And maybe do like a monologue. And I remember it was like back Street. Like, boys were big.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And they just. In the back streets back, you know, where they kind of do the whole thing. Like the zombie thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And I remember playing that song on, like, I brought in a little CD and like, put it in the boom box. It was like, like dancing for some.

[Beck Bennett]

Man in his sweet.

And how many people are in the room?

[Christopher Storer]

Just him.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no. You and one guy.

[Christopher Storer]

Very good. Yeah. He's like, all right, that's Very good.

[Beck Bennett]

Christopher.

[Christopher Storer]

Christopher.

Like, yeah. You know, you do the thing. You audition, you sit on their lap, you bounce up and down, then you leave. You leave them your underwear and then that's fine. That's how you audition. I'm a pro.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh.

[Christopher Storer]

But yeah, luckily there was. There was no weird comment or anything. But looking back and everything that's happened.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, that's insane. The whole thing.

[Christopher Storer]

No casting director to hold.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, exactly. And like auditions for children in a suite.

[Christopher Storer]

And sing and dance for me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, that could have been like. Now it's dawning on me. Maybe that was the whole. That's all he wanted.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. He's not connected. Nickelodeon whatsoever your mom got.

[Christopher Storer]

He's not looking. He's not looking for the. But then now we're getting dark. He's not looking to go the next step with any of these kids. He's just looking to have kids come and sing and dance. I mean, that could have been a sexual thing for whoever that guy was.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, just that.

[Christopher Storer]

Because I mean, when you look at the Dan Schneider stuff, it's like the stuff he was making the kids do. I like, I can't really watch those.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

But like. Because I was abusing out right now. But yeah, like just making them do kind of like suggestive things. Get wet or something. Yeah, yeah. It's up.

[Beck Bennett]

It's crazy. And I would love. It would be interesting to go back and see if they even cast any new. All that members in that year.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, probably. Definitely not.

[Beck Bennett]

Because I feel like it was pretty locked.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

No, there wasn't that much movement.

[Christopher Storer]

They were like, we're looking for the next one.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Come and sing and dance. Yeah, I mean, I guess they kind of did a little bit of that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. When you. When you met Keenan, were you like, how about singing and dancing in that guy's hotel by yourself?

[Christopher Storer]

He was like. He's like, yeah, no, I can't. I've never tried to kill him. No, man.

Don'T Person.

Yeah, yeah. I'll run it by him next time I see him. Say, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

He seems to be the only non molested one of that entire. That entire group.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. He's just too good of a guy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You hear that, kids? If you get molested because you're bad.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, you're bad. It's your fault. If you're just kind of nicer to.

[Beck Bennett]

Be around, like Keenan, she smiled more, maybe you'd be spared.

[Christopher Storer]

Go to work and don't bring your baggage to work. And you kind of just like, cool to everybody and deal with your own on your time.

Then you won't get abused.

[Beck Bennett]

Then you won't get punitively molested for setting production back a day.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely. I'm glad we could address this.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, now, did. Do you think in. When you were in London and do you think they prepared you to be like, clark Kent's annoying a coworker? Did that get you? Did they. Did you. Did they get you primed for that? You know, I'm trying because you crushed that.

[Christopher Storer]

Thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

You did.

[Christopher Storer]

You were.

[Beck Bennett]

You were truly hilarious in that role.

[Christopher Storer]

Thanks, man. Appreciate that. You know, I don't know if it was. Yeah, no, I'm. I wish I had something funny to say. No, they didn't. It did not. I don't know where that came from. Probably just my personality.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, just, just. I love playing obnoxious idiots.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's the best.

[Christopher Storer]

It's so freeing, you know, it's like.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Christopher Storer]

There's a. There's a part of me that probably likes to be that in my real.

[Beck Bennett]

Life, you know, and just you have to keep kind of locked away a little bit and they let you free it. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Well, at this point in my life, I think. I think there's enough self awareness now where it's like, I don't want to be that guy.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure. You know, but that's lurking.

[Christopher Storer]

It's lurking.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Like, yeah, yeah. There's a different path in your life.

[Christopher Storer]

And you're just like, I'm having a good time. And then you, like, think back and you're like, oh, I guess I am kind. That is in me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Oh, totally. I get that. I mean, every, like, you know, everyone who's good at playing something, I just feel like they have just a little piece that they let out on the leash.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely. And I don't know if it was like growing up and seeing the sort of, like that kind of behavior a little bit.

[Beck Bennett]

Chicago is probably pretty well, like, in terms of loud, obnoxious loudmouths.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely. Who think they're funny.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Big, big time.

[Beck Bennett]

Because it's a. Culturally, the city is funny.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. And they're like, I'm here. I'm a funny guy. People are funny, but they like. Yeah, there's something about. I don't know if it's generational thing either, though, because it's like my dad's and my parents friends or whatever. But there's like, definitely like that sort of like, I'm gonna give you a Hard time.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Christopher Storer]

You know what I mean? But that's also like when people aren't that funny, they're offensive.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

So it's always. I feel like there's a lot of that back there. Like I'm joking. I'm giving you a hard time.

[Beck Bennett]

Relax.

[Christopher Storer]

That's not funny.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, totally.

[Christopher Storer]

Just as something obnoxious.

[Beck Bennett]

Come on.

[Christopher Storer]

You said I look stupid and fat.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And that I look like I got these clothes out of the garbage. Like I haven't seen you in pretty good.

[Beck Bennett]

Actually. Both. That's actually not bad.

That's not bad to hit you with in quick succession.

[Christopher Storer]

It would be.

[Beck Bennett]

I'd have to see the timing.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

To see if it was good or not.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it was.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You look stupid and fat. Where'd you get those clothes? The garbage.

[Christopher Storer]

Those clothes. The garbage can got you shaved today. Nice to see you. Nice to see you. It's also like, people try to be funny because I was on SNL and they're like, yeah, I'm gonna be funny. This is fun.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, that's tough.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So it's that. That behavior is right there. Ready. Ready for me to pick up.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Don't need to do much.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, do they. And, and let me ask you, as like a gift, when they, when the movie's over, do they let you look at Superman's penis?

[Christopher Storer]

Yep.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow, that's awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And is it the actors or do they give him a prosthetic because they never see his dick? But you gotta think Superman's gotta have a big hog.

[Christopher Storer]

Right. It's.

[Beck Bennett]

And I don't know what sweats working with, but no disrespect, any human man probably has a smaller dick than Superman. I. You have to.

[Christopher Storer]

And that's part of the casting process. They show the penis gun gets in there. Perfect. It's like, it's. It's just big enough, just small enough, just kind of.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Christopher Storer]

It's going to fit in the mold.

[Beck Bennett]

Cuz that's how. That's how they put it in a mold.

[Christopher Storer]

They have a Superman penis mold. And they're like, will the body fit the mold? Right? And so like about the casting, they're like, they just have this mold and everything. Recession.

No, that's not Superman.

[Beck Bennett]

If you, if you don't get in the mold, they don't even let you read the lines.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. You got to get in the mold. That's really interesting. It's like, it's kind of like Cinderella, you know, fit. The mold sits. Oh, it Just came to life. It was beautiful. Dude, he's great. I mean, he's like one of those guys. When shooting with him, I like felt very. I like felt safe with him.

[Beck Bennett]

He seems cool. Like, it's so easy to hate on.

[Christopher Storer]

Like Jack. Someone torches guys.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Seem to get everything.

[Beck Bennett]

He really does seem like the most perfect guy because he's also like what we were talking about earlier. He's married. He seems to love his wife.

[Christopher Storer]

Like adorable. Yeah, it's.

[Beck Bennett]

And he's like a dork about the shit. He like.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes, he's a real dork. He cares about all this stuff and loves it.

[Beck Bennett]

He might be the only benevolent straight theater guy I've ever, ever even been aware of. Because mostly they're sinister. Yeah, straight theater guys are mostly.

[Christopher Storer]

They're very.

[Beck Bennett]

You get the worst of gay and straight into one guy usually.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot of intense energy. I mean like, that's why I think like I was in. Into theater in high school and I was like, I kind of don't. Yeah, this crowd is. It's a lot for me. So I think that's why comedy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. It just ended up going that way.

[Beck Bennett]

That shows you how bad it is that you're like feel more comfortable around comedians.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, this is a better.

[Beck Bennett]

This is a better welcoming environment.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh man, it is. I am friends with a lot of like, I would. Well, I would also say theater actors. Maybe theater brought like music.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, I think music. I think the. The musical is where it gets dicey. It's a.

[Christopher Storer]

It's like cuz it's.

[Elders]

It's just.

[Christopher Storer]

It's just more intense.

[Beck Bennett]

Totally.

[Christopher Storer]

But like I'm friends with a lot of actors. Friends with a lot of comedians. Comedians. And it is, it's interesting. They kind of like roll their eyes at each other.

[Beck Bennett]

Of course. You know, like you got.

[Christopher Storer]

The actors are so genuine. The comedians are so bitty they can't have a real conversation. But the actress is so genuine.

[Beck Bennett]

You can't like sometimes too genuine, dude. Oh, I know. That is.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, I love them both.

But.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, but yeah, comedians are scared to be earnest.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And like actors can overdo do earnestness sometimes.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

It is cool you meet just a cool actor. Like, I was shocked when I did. I mean, I wasn't shocked because I didn't think they were gonna be weird, but it was like, you just don't know what to expect. Like, you know, begonia out now. Go see it. You need me to promote it. But Both. Both Emma Stone and Plemons were awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Just regular people. They were funny and just like. Yeah, it was like I was. Because you. You expect like, oh, I'm gonna go there. Emma Snow's gonna throw hot coffee in my face because I look. Because I made eye contact and do.

[Christopher Storer]

Something wrong where it's like, you don't do that. On this felt with Superman, I was like, oh, it's gonna be different. It's like, no, it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. It's just like you just the same. It's the total thing. It's just bigger.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

How did you. So like, have you always acted? Were you. I mean, like, because you're doing more of it.

[Beck Bennett]

I liked. I mean, I always liked acting. I kind of was. I mean, maybe all this like talking about how theater kids are piece of shit is projection because like, yeah, I kinda dipped my toe in like the theater kid, like Waters. But I just, you know, I don't know. When I was like, really, like, me and Elders were in some elementary school productions together, you know, I kind of did think. I think there was a moment where I was like, I'm a fucking. I'm a triple threat, right? Sing, dance, act.

[Christopher Storer]

You were singing and dancing.

[Beck Bennett]

I wasn't dancing. I was singing though.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, I thought I could sing when I, I was like in third grade. Like, I'm. I'm watching Rosie o'. Donnell. I'm sit. I'm in there. I'm like, I'm gonna be a star like Rosie.

[Christopher Storer]

That's.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, I can sing.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And then I do think there was a little. Just like, you know, plenty of toxic, masculine, you know, like.

Sort of influences on me where it's like, I don't.

[Christopher Storer]

Want to do that.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't want gay.

[Christopher Storer]

I'm cool.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, back when gay was bad.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Ab.

[Beck Bennett]

Now it's awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

Mean, you were gay, you were not cool.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like, I'm a cool guy. I'm. I'm a jock. I'm awesome. I like, I went. I literally, like, I had one. Any. The only training I've ever done in acting is I. I went to the Baltimore School for the Arts, like after school program for middle schoolers one year and I, I kind of liked it. It was pretty fun, whatever. And then I auditioned. Auditioned for like the school. I don't know if I. Or I went to like one audition and I kind of. And I got a call back, but I remember being like so what's your guys sports teams like? And they were like we're the school for the arts.

[Christopher Storer]

We don't have sports teams.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't have sports. And I was like sorry Ma, I'm not gonna be able to even go to the call back. I gotta play football.

[Christopher Storer]

Wow. Nice.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You ditched and then I did. I probably wouldn't gotten it. Also it's like I don't think I was like I couldn't sing first of all.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Like I thought I could sing. Look back I did les mischievous my senior year of high school. Jean Valjean.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, huge deal.

[Christopher Storer]

Huge deal.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Looking back at the DVD. Oof. Yeah. Like 24641. It's just like.

You'Re an opera singer.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Maybe for the time it was fine. But like yeah. Looking back and be like oh, that how good I like we were saying like how good I thought I was before my head. Now that I can watch a back.

To yeah. Oh, a lot of stick to the non singing.

Comedy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Do you play football?

[Beck Bennett]

I played. I wanted to play football and I got very lucky that our JV I. My parents didn't want me to play football. They were actually fully correct.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes. I would not let my son play football.

[Beck Bennett]

Like they were very ahead of the Europeans were ahead of the curve on like this is barbaric. We shouldn't have child children smashing their heads into each other other. But my j. So I played soccer, you know my pretty much my whole life. And then our JV soccer coach gave pornography to one of the kids in 10th grade. And not even in a molester way. In like a I want him to think I'm cool way. Which isn't worse. But it's weird.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, but it's still weird. Worse than the molested.

[Beck Bennett]

No, you don't want to get to get molested. I'm on record. We're anti that we're anti one time.

[Christopher Storer]

Said it a million times today.

[Beck Bennett]

And we even tried to give kids tips earlier on how not to do it.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, be fun, be smart at the workplace.

[Christopher Storer]

Be have boundaries. Don't let them in.

[Beck Bennett]

It's on you again.

[Christopher Storer]

On you again. You're going to work. You're going to go to work. Go to work.

[Beck Bennett]

Your next project's. You're doing a children's show, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. Just me and the kids.

Filmed at your suite at the Waldorf Astoria.

[Christopher Storer]

You're allowed to do that actually. You're allowed to shoot a kids show in your hotel. Room by yourself? Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

It's not technically illegal.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. You played football.

[Beck Bennett]

And so he got shit canned. And I got to kind of sneak into playing football because I was a lot. My parents didn't need to know because they just thought I was going to soccer practice. And then I, you know, I played for a couple years. It was just. It was truly just some, like, you want the American experience.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Kind of where I was like, I'm a cool jock. I play football.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And that wasn't ultimately for me, but I do like. I do like that. I got to play actual football with pads. And for a couple years, I had that experience. It was pretty fun.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I got to play on the Raven. We had, like, a rivalry game, the. The Poly City game, and I got to play on Raven Stadium. That was sick. But, yeah. Yeah. Were you. Would you play anything?

[Christopher Storer]

I played. I played football. I played a lot of sports growing up, and then I played football. I was fullback.

[Beck Bennett]

Nice, dude. I wanted to play full. That was a classic. Like, Mike Allstott was around at the time. I don't know if you remember. He wanted to be. And I was a fat white boy, obviously.

[Christopher Storer]

What. What's. He was.

[Beck Bennett]

He was at the Bucks.

[Christopher Storer]

He was on the Bucks.

[Beck Bennett]

It was him and big neck thing.

[Christopher Storer]

And I. I got some of those, too. Yeah. I loved watching them.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I got elbow pants. Just, like, barrel through people.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Yes. But I was too dumb to get. Get offensive plays. Like, my brain just doesn't work in terms of understanding football at all.

[Christopher Storer]

Really. Yeah. That's going to hurt you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. So I played defensive line, which was fun.

[Christopher Storer]

Defensive, more fun.

[Beck Bennett]

You just. Just go try and tackle the guy. It was awesome.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. So. But yeah, football was. It was fun because you got to be like, I'm. I'm a badass.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. You just, like, go insane. Like, I took out the football. Yeah. I took out lot of anger issues out football. It was definitely. Or maybe it created them. Looking back at CT now, maybe ct. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe a little sprinkling.

[Christopher Storer]

Just losing my mind a little bit. Bashing my head into other kids.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, that's the. That's the kind of. I mean, you're bringing the right brain into podcasting. I know you. That's. You should have brain damage to get into podcasting.

[Christopher Storer]

It feels like that's what's making it possible to keep going.

[Beck Bennett]

It's the perfect it like, mix of, like, already established show business career plus brain damage.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Because if I was a little sharper, I'd be like, why am I doing this.

[Beck Bennett]

Why am I doing this? This is a. This is. I'm debasing myself. I have a good career. I've been major movies. I was on snl.

[Christopher Storer]

I don't need to do this voiceover stuff happening.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm. You ever try and buy buffalo? You know, parm garlic wings? You know what I mean? You're gonna hear your voice.

[Christopher Storer]

Hear my voice. I got that.

[Beck Bennett]

You're the Buffalo dude.

[Christopher Storer]

Best job. Everett job. I mean, SNL was great, but no.

[Beck Bennett]

Is B dub dubs, guys.

[Christopher Storer]

I love my B dubs.

[Beck Bennett]

We're big. We're big B dub dubs, guys.

[Christopher Storer]

It's fantastic. Incredible environment.

[Beck Bennett]

Very jealous. If you can put in a good word.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe Hank has a little. A little friend.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, you want to go to one of the restaurants? Yeah.

I can probably get you in one.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like, for Charles getting a. Getting a reservation in Buffalo. Buffalo Wild Wings.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, it's really hard to get it. Can you give me.

Honestly, you know, maybe Hank has done some commercials with. He did one with Heidi Gardner.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, Right.

[Christopher Storer]

Little dicky.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Christopher Storer]

I don't know. Maybe. I think you'd be perfect.

[Beck Bennett]

Come on.

[Christopher Storer]

You could talk with Hank. Me there, improvise with you.

[Beck Bennett]

I would love that.

[Christopher Storer]

Put the CGI buffalo in. Okay. B dubs.

[Beck Bennett]

B dubs.

[Christopher Storer]

You guys heard here.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm a fan.

[Christopher Storer]

Make it happen.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm a fan. I'm not. This wouldn't be bullshit.

[Christopher Storer]

Stop. Is ready to go.

[Beck Bennett]

I put. I've put away a lot of Buffalo Wild wings in my day. True.

[Christopher Storer]

Truly.

[Beck Bennett]

But you and you and your boy Kyle. Very funny.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Have a podcast. And you. We should plug that before we get to our calls.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it's called. What's our Podcast? It's a podcast where we don't know what our podcast is about. So we have our guests come on and give us an idea. We talk to them for a little bit, and then we try it. Because we were like, let's just. Yeah, we were talking about this a little bit, but let's just do as little preparation as possible.

[Beck Bennett]

I love that because that's my. The philosophy of podcasting is you should do no work work. You should never edit anything. You should never second guess anything. This is a.

[Christopher Storer]

That's what I med into. I need to let that go.

[Beck Bennett]

You have to. That. That is the. That's the problem where you start from real forms of entertainment.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, I want to make this good. Like, I want to craft it and make it.

[Beck Bennett]

That will ensure you fail.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. I'm already I'm like, this is too much work. This is not what I signed up for. I signed up for hanging out and like, I like putting the clips out, but the. Yeah, it's just looking at it.

[Beck Bennett]

You can't, you can't, you can't care that it's good or not. You put it out.

[Christopher Storer]

You're right.

[Beck Bennett]

It's slop. You piggies will eat it up.

[Christopher Storer]

Right. Cuz we're all piggies. We all like.

[Beck Bennett]

I eat up other people's sloth.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I have to go on long walks and not be with my thoughts sometimes.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

I have to. I have to do laundry.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, it's so sad to do.

[Christopher Storer]

Laundry, dishes without hearing. Hearing people talking.

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, you're gonna reflect on your life. Oh, are you gonna think about what's next for yourself? No. You're gonna hear some comics, phone in a conversation.

[Christopher Storer]

Really what it is, is like I was saying that with my wife watches. I mean I watch it with her Bravo reality TV and she puts it on at night. It's like just fill, fill the silence in your hand until you're tired enough to go to sleep.

[Beck Bennett]

Don't engage with anything does. Yeah, don't engage anything hard intellectually. I've even started reading books that are easy.

[Christopher Storer]

You started reading books that are easy? Yeah. It's like, what do you want to give me one? I don't want to put you on the spot.

[Beck Bennett]

Just. I mean not. They're good books, but it's not like intellect, like.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, I got it.

[Beck Bennett]

I started reading mystery stuff, crime books.

[Christopher Storer]

I want to get into more of that. I. I read some. What's his name? Stephen King? Yeah, yeah, years ago.

[Beck Bennett]

He's good. I heard of that guy.

[Christopher Storer]

He's good, man. He's actually good. I'm actually the first one to realize that that guy's got some good. No, I mean really spooky. And scary too. Like talks to like right to the human experience.

[Beck Bennett]

But that's what I'm talking about. It's like that, like I'm read. I just read the book Jackie Brown was based on Rum punch. Elmore Leonard. Elmore Leonard is perfect, dude, because Elmer Leonard, he's. A lot of his books have been turned into movies because they're just fun and like. I mean they're crying and they're well written, but it's like you can be pretty dumb and enjoy them. Them.

[Christopher Storer]

It's. I mean I. I couldn't be more supportive of like basic simple reading because yeah, reading, it's like, people read and it just. They bring a little snootiness into it. And it's like, oh, I read this.

[Beck Bennett]

It's so funny, this book.

[Christopher Storer]

And I, like, won this award. Or it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. New York Times best books.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's like that I get.

[Christopher Storer]

Some people like to be challenged. But like, I used to read Goosebumps in second grade.

[Beck Bennett]

Exactly.

[Christopher Storer]

Great time.

[Beck Bennett]

Exactly.

[Christopher Storer]

And then it got into higher stuff.

[Beck Bennett]

And I'm like, this is the adult goosebumps, like, for. Bros are like, it's like a dumb crime. Not dumb, but like a mystery novel. Yeah, Crime. Like, I love action movies. I. Yes. This shit's kind of formulaic. You know, it's going to be. You're trying to guess who it is.

[Christopher Storer]

But you read a good one. You're just like, so in it.

[Beck Bennett]

I know. Well, listen, don't. But listen. Don't read books.

[Christopher Storer]

Don't read books. Podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

Don't read audiobooks either. That's a big. Don't do that.

[Christopher Storer]

Don't do books. If you're going to do it, listen to a podcast about the book. Not even the audio version version of it. Like, we'll just talk about a book.

Kind of like, what was that thing? And Cliffs Notes or whatever.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, Cliff Notes.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Shout out to Cliff Notes.

[Christopher Storer]

But yeah, we don't know what we're doing. It's been crazy. We banked 14 and now we just started to put them out. And I'm having to watch myself.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm like, another big mistake.

[Christopher Storer]

Another big mistake.

[Beck Bennett]

I could not tell you, actually.

[Christopher Storer]

Come here. Being like, I want advice on how to make this a thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And that is never watch anything thing.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like, it ne. And that's because nothing's going to matter.

[Christopher Storer]

You're like, oh, what did I say? It's going to be bad. It's going to turn people.

[Beck Bennett]

That's what I'm saying. You are. You are stuck. Your. Your brain is stuck in a place where people watch what you do.

[Christopher Storer]

Right?

[Beck Bennett]

And you're like, I will be judged for this. And that will not happen with podcasts. But it's also like, when it does, it's catastrophic. Don't get me wrong.

[Christopher Storer]

When. When something totally.

[Beck Bennett]

But it does. Then when a podcast clip breaks containment into the regular world. You are. But even then, you just have to be like, it'll be over in two.

[Christopher Storer]

Exactly. Whatever.

[Beck Bennett]

And more people will listen to my podcast.

[Christopher Storer]

It'll be like a headline. People be like, oh, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, but you have to.

[Beck Bennett]

Make peace with that too.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Because it's also the reason it's. I mean it's the reason why I like a lot of podcasts is like the looseness and just seeing people like.

[Beck Bennett]

Unfiltered barely give a. You know, tell their real. Say what they really feel about clowns. You.

[Christopher Storer]

You clowns. I mean that clowns. Clowns want that. Honestly, that's the clown dynamic we fed into them. They're going, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh.

[Christopher Storer]

And then they kind of now they're like pulling a little rose out and.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm like, you know, you. And I throw their rose at them. I'm falling right into their.

[Christopher Storer]

Falling right into that clown trap.

[Beck Bennett]

Honestly, I would. If a sexy clown tried to trap me, dude, I would allow it for sure.

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

I think. I think I do like when a woman has a dumb costume or like dumb ha.

[Christopher Storer]

You like that? I. Can you think of something that I mean like I'm trying to. I mean I. Again, I'm putting you on the spot. Sure. Your book.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, go ahead.

[Christopher Storer]

Your sexy clown.

[Beck Bennett]

What? Yeah, yeah. Can I think about a sexy clown? I would. Let me see here.

[Christopher Storer]

Like the lady from Weapons.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, a hot version of her. I honestly would the up so scary. Yeah, but I mean like if you put a girl with huge tits and a weird wig in that weird little cutoff wig and like over plastered makeup.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

There's cosplay. There will be some aunt. What the was your name? Aunt? Do you remember Eldis? Do you see Weapons Shivers. You didn't see it.

[Elders]

No spoilers, please. I hear it's really good.

[Beck Bennett]

You. Are you out of your mind? Yeah, you're too late on Glattus. That was on Glattus. Yeah, yeah. If sexy on glass. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

A sexy clown.

[Beck Bennett]

I I understand why cosplay has overtaken the Internet. I don't know if you're aware of this.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, I am aware of it because fed to me and it's like yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I want to a hot version of the cartoons I watched as a child. Yeah, you got me. I want to every X man woman.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, you know, costumes are sexy. Like I remember doing theater and like dancing in like seventh grade and being like these girls. Are we wearing these skirts and these. Yeah, like they're just like. Yeah. You know. Yeah, yeah, it's. I don't like.

[Beck Bennett]

This is good. Yeah, it's good.

[Christopher Storer]

Shake. Costumes are hot. Horny. Costumes are coming back.

[Beck Bennett]

Costumes are bad. Getting hard getting is coming back to.

[Christopher Storer]

People wearing costumes is bad. Come on. That's it.

[Beck Bennett]

That's our this thing is back of the week.

New segment called Give this this thing is back of the week. Getting your dick hard on the on the sidewalk.

[Christopher Storer]

People's costumes.

[Beck Bennett]

Because they have costumes.

[Christopher Storer]

Big old Tommy costumes.

[Beck Bennett]

On that note, why don't we take some calls from our our listeners here.

[Christopher Storer]

Buddy, let's do it. Let's solve some problems.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's solve some problems.

[Christopher Storer]

And when do these come in?

[Beck Bennett]

Who got. Who knows, dude? Years ago maybe at this point.

[Elders]

Yeah, usually they're not older than four months before, before the episode.

[Beck Bennett]

Before the episode is recorded. And then who knows when the episode comes out.

Some of these people are dead.

[Christopher Storer]

They're cooked.

[Beck Bennett]

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[Caller]

Hey Elvis what's going on? Featured guest. What's going on? So here's the thing.

[Beck Bennett]

It's coming out of your.

[Caller]

I've been dating this girl for about a year and a half now. She's awesome. Like, we have a great relationship.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

He'S buying sock and boppers online.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, we heard. Sagam Boppers, loud.

[Christopher Storer]

Soccer. Impossible.

[Beck Bennett]

But God forbid the calls come in. Clearly.

I think. Anyway, let me put the volume up.

[Caller]

We moved in together in January. Right now it's August, so.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Caller]

You know, at eight months been going really well. But the thing is, she's kind of annoying as. And I mean this, like.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, I.

[Caller]

Sometimes I just need a little bit of space. She doesn't exactly know how to do that.

[Beck Bennett]

And here's things going great.

[Caller]

Like, if I decide about my friends for the night or whatever, if I'm not, like, responding to, like, a text message within, like, 20 minutes, you'll send me, like, a sad face and, like, it's cute, but at the same time, it's like, no, it's not like, you know, like, it's. It's like I don't want to be on my phone texting her, but the same time, I feel bad not to answer, so it's like, fuck. Like, I'm like, you know, like, I.

[Beck Bennett]

Play to it a little bit.

[Caller]

So it's kind of my fault as well.

[Beck Bennett]

Leaving.

[Caller]

Aside from that, like, even, like, when we didn't live together, it was, you know, like, we spent the whole weekend together because we miss each other all week now we see each other every day all week. And there are nicer, like, just other times where, like, maybe I want to play a video game. I want to do something outside my girlfriend. And, like, if I do, she's like.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, come on, like, you don't want.

[Caller]

To hang out with me? And it's like, you know, of course I hang out with you, but I also need time for me. So the thing is, my question for you is, how do I bring this up in a nice way to, like, I need a little bit of face because I'm feeling a little bit smothered and it's kind of giving me chest pains now. Stop.

[Christopher Storer]

So how do I bring this up.

[Caller]

So this doesn't become a fight? And she still shows me as much affection as she does now.

[Beck Bennett]

Hilarious.

[Caller]

So that's where I'm at right now.

[Beck Bennett]

How does everything stay the same except my.

[Caller]

Yeah, feel a little bit smothered right now. I just want to bring it up in a nice way. Anyway, thanks. You Guys, you guys crack me the up. Keep this going, please.

[Christopher Storer]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, well, yeah, I think like you said, she is abusing him.

[Christopher Storer]

It's abuse.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

This is like, like if, if it was a guy, he'd be like, what are you doing? You can't go anywhere where you, where are you? It's like. But then like with a woman, it's like, oh, she loves me so much. It's kind of cute.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how long have they been together, did he say?

[Elders]

A year and a half. Sounds like they're living together.

[Beck Bennett]

They've been living together the last half year. Whatever, eight months or whatever the you said. I mean, okay.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, right off the bat I'm like, get out. Get out of there. It seems like immediately it seems like, you know, maybe you met her at a time where you couldn't really. You didn't really know how to talk to girls. You didn't really know how to figure, like you met somebody, you're like, oh, she's cute enough. She's great. I like her. And then she's like clinging on and you're like, well, I haven't been able to find a better situation out there.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Christopher Storer]

So this, this has got to be the, the best. Yeah, but she's turning on you.

[Beck Bennett]

There is this thing where you. It's. This guy might be a little insecure because this has happened to me in the past where like, I was insecure so I would date women that made it really obvious they liked you to the point where they're the ones that text you constantly. And when you're, you know, when you're two months in, you're like, does this girl even like me? You want someone who's constantly checking in, gets mad if you don't text back. And then, then when you settle into a normal, the normal rhythms of a relationship, you realize like when your neuroses have faded, but you're like, well, I've attracted someone who. Now that now that this behavior is not. Now that I'm assure she likes me, I'm annoyed at her, even though I kind of trained her or like I kind of set the standard of this relationship being I'll text you whenever.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

It's acceptable.

[Christopher Storer]

This is a good way of communicating.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Christopher Storer]

I love you. You're so cute.

[Beck Bennett]

And some people listen, some people, you meet these weird ass couples that like really constantly talk to each other and they're like locked in and it's like, you know, if it works for you, it works for you. Yeah, clearly that what I'm thinking. What it seems like to me is this motherfucker set this. This standard where this is acceptable. And now he's like, okay, actually, see, the. The thing I, you know, pretended to love about you, I think is annoying.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

So you gotta switch your whole. Up. You. That's gonna be because I'm trying to play battlefield.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't want to hang out.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. You know, and you're stuck now.

[Beck Bennett]

And you're stuck and. I don't know. I mean, has he even tried talking to her? Did he say anything else?

[Christopher Storer]

He didn't say. He doesn't want to hurt her feelings. He's too scared.

[Beck Bennett]

So he's a coward.

[Christopher Storer]

He's a coward, which is tough. And he's letting her abuse him.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. And he deserves it.

[Christopher Storer]

Y. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

He really like those kids auditioning for all that 3.0.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

He deserves what's coming to him.

[Christopher Storer]

I. I've been here. Do not sing and dance for her. You're not gonna get what you want. You gotta do your own thing. I mean, you gotta. You gotta be like, this is a classic thing. Totally move in. And you're like, look, we gotta set some ground rules here. Yeah, yeah. And you just gotta. You gotta be like, I want to. Well, I was gonna say, like, I want to want you. Yeah, but then that could hurt her feelings.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I mean, I think it's the kind of thing where these conversations. The rule is always like, you need to have these conversations as soon as possible. And you've already waited a little too long because you kind of set the ground rules for this relationship, and she's behaving, and I think you should take ownership of that and so now.

[Christopher Storer]

And not put it all on her.

[Beck Bennett]

Exactly. And it's like. And now she's going to be pissed. She's going to be like, either sad or mad. You are kind of bringing this out of nowhere because this is how you've related to her the whole time. But you have to be like, hey, I like. You know, I liked all this stuff. I definitely. I find it endearing. But now that it's like, we're here dayto day, I see you all the time. I'm happy to do it, but, like, I need a little. It was great when we weren't living together and I missed you constantly, but now it's like, I need to live little. And you don't even have to say, like, explicitly, like, give me some. You just have to. You just have to be like, hey, Thursdays are my Day that I do blank or you just kind of have to. Because I think when you live together, and you guys probably would know better, you would definitely know better than me. I've literally never lived with a significant other. We got two married men on the.

[Christopher Storer]

Pod other than me.

[Beck Bennett]

But I do feel like a lot of it does become about your routines and about your, like, your regular life. And now that you've settled into normal life, you kind of have to figure out what your actual routines are, because it's when you're dating someone and you don't live in the same place, when you. They're, like, sleeping over, it's like a va. It's vacation vibes. It's not what your life is really like, even if you spend four days in a row at somebody's apartment. Whereas now it's like you just need to carve out time for yourself and almost, like, put it on the relationship calendar, I think.

[Christopher Storer]

I think so too.

[Beck Bennett]

But you guys tell me, what are your eldest over there chomping at the bit I see you get in there.

[Elders]

I mean, I kind of agree with Beth. Fact that this probably is just doomed, like, long term.

[Christopher Storer]

Just sounds rough.

[Elders]

I mean, this is. This is kind of like.

[Christopher Storer]

It's aggressive. Too. Aggressive.

[Beck Bennett]

Don't even try and have a conversation.

[Elders]

You can.

[Christopher Storer]

I'm guessing you can. I wouldn't. I would run.

[Elders]

I've been in this situation before, too, and it's like this kind of is like a young person, young relationship kind of thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure, that's fair.

[Elders]

And it's like. It's. It's like exactly what you said. Stuff like, the ground rules have not been set. And even what you just described, no matter how you word it, it will just kind of hurt the person's feelings.

[Christopher Storer]

It will.

[Elders]

Because you're basically saying, like, which is a very, like, male thing, but, like, I like you and want to be around you, but you're basically saying, like, I want to talk to you when I feel like talking to you, not like, every single single second or whatever. Or that's just how it comes across.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, sure, I.

[Beck Bennett]

But you, by the way, you have to hurt her feelings a little bit because you should have done this in the beginning, and she should have chosen whether that's acceptable or not.

[Elders]

This is. I think this is.

[Beck Bennett]

And now your only option are. Are hurt her feelings a little bit to a place that's acceptable for you and she can get over it and see that you're being reasonable or it's too much. She doesn't want that kind of relationship and you break up.

[Elders]

I might just be a coward.

[Beck Bennett]

You are, first of all.

[Christopher Storer]

Yes, you can.

[Beck Bennett]

That's true. But go ahead with the second part of your sentence.

[Elders]

Be a coward. But I think like, this is such a basic thing. This is like an early vibe check. Like in a relationship, moved in too early, moved in. But also like the person you're dating, you should be able to like sniff this out.

[Beck Bennett]

You need to be compatible.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You need to be compatible with how much you spend. Like, you know, I've dated people where it's like they want to hang out all the time. I've dated people where it's like you cannot text them for weeks. They don't fudgeing, give a fuck. Right. And it's, it's like. And you're right, that's. People have to be on the same.

[Christopher Storer]

Similar rhythms because some people spend money.

[Beck Bennett]

The way you like.

[Christopher Storer]

They just have to be.

[Beck Bennett]

This is a fundamental. Yeah, this is one of those fundamental things of like. Yeah, there's people who like, have different, like move in together, have different bedrooms and might not even fucking see each other in a day. But that's not weird to them. And I think you're right. I agree with you. Are the odds great? No. But the only chance you have is re. Is in a semi painful way trying to reset the ground rules now that you've. And your chance was moving in together. Because when you move in together, everything changes. And you should have done it then.

[Christopher Storer]

But you know, I think setting some specific times is important. Like this is when I do this, or I do this once a week. I meet, go out with my, my friends or like I play. This is when I play video games. And like setting those times right and also talking about code. Codependency.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Because we all, it's a, it's a very buzzy word. But codependency kills relationships usually. And it's like, because then you don't have two individuals. Like my therapist used to say something along the lines of, like, if you have two people who are together, like if, if you're attracted to somebody, they need to not be you, they need to be somebody else. If you meld your lives to where like she is on top of you all the time, you're not going to be able to be attracted to that person. Sex is going to go out the window. Window. You're gonna be bickering all the time. So like, I mean, I don't know. I, like, I don't have the codependency. You know, stuff.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Christopher Storer]

All right. There. But, like, just look that up and be like, yeah, yeah. This is for the relationship. I don't want us to fall into this, like, glob of one being. We need to be our own selves. You figure out your times during the week. I'll figure out my times, but I think that's also important. It's like, not just keeping it too loose.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Like, setting those times, especially with somebody like this, and. And also setting the times. It could be seen as a middle ground. If you are a coward to not directly have the. Oh, it's not that I don't want to be with you. It's just that during these times, I have to do XX and X, which I think the middle ground is ultimately just delaying shit.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I think you got to address how you actually feel. But, you know, you could try it. You could just milk this for another couple, another year and a half.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

This way. And then. And now you have more. More skin in the game. It'll hurt more when it is doomed, like Elda says.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah. And then you. Then it'll be too late to really have a relationship or maybe, I don't know, have kids or something like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right. You know, but, you know, you're a man. It's probably easier for you. She's probably more than you are.

[Christopher Storer]

Always have kids.

You can never not have kids when you're a guy. Look at Al Pacino. Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

He's still nothing. And whoever will let him.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Respect.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, respect.

[Beck Bennett]

Respect to big Pacino.

[Christopher Storer]

So, yeah, rip the band aid off. Set some time aside. Bring up codependency.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Good luck.

[Christopher Storer]

You're screwed.

[Beck Bennett]

Go ahead, Eldis. What else we got?

[Elders]

Hold on. Some. Wait, something's up here. What's going on?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no. What the hell's going on? Holy.

[Elders]

What?

[Beck Bennett]

What the. This is insane. Oh, my God. No, it's something even crazier. It's time to keep it. It's time to keep it twisted. It's the ass. Twisted Ass up. Question of the week, brought to you by Twisted Te.

We know you're a up guy.

[Christopher Storer]

Back. I'm twisted.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, look what Elis has for us from.

Wow, El, you are a up guy, but I love when we keep it twisted.

All right, what's this week's up ass Question of the fucking week? Eldest.

[Caller]

Hi.

Potential esteemed guest. Thank you for answering my call. Here's. Here's my issue. I am positioned in Atlanta, and I have been for a while now. Before I was positioned In Atlanta, I was a music pastor sister in Birmingham in like 2015, I went to a Christian college, all that stuff and did all of that. And I got fired from that church for, you know, kind of being black. Honestly, not gonna lie, it was Birmingham.

[Beck Bennett]

Can we just say on the record, that is not the kind of keeping it twisted we condone on the motherfucking ask twisted ass question of the week week. So let's just be on the record there. Twisted T does not like when people are fired for ra for racial reasons.

[Christopher Storer]

That's not.

[Beck Bennett]

I feel safe saying that on behalf of the company. They are against racist firings. Keep going, Eldis.

[Christopher Storer]

Gotta look out for the team, Emma.

[Caller]

I could. I could give a whole separate call about that. But.

Since. Since I've left the church ultimately, I'm kind of. Kind of a liberal godless atheist now.

I'm doing okay in Atlanta, booking myself and things of that nature. But I still have a lot of friends who are in the church still who get way more high paying gifts. And a lot of them think the same way I do. They just feel like, hey, let me just go in there and Play. Play for 25 minutes and get a really nice check. And there's a part of me that is like, do I just. Do I just like, pretend for Sundays and get this check? Because I still can. I still have a way in.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Caller]

To get these checks. But at the same time, I'm like, I don't believe any of this. I'm not here for any of this. I feel like it would be morally bad to do, but it would be financially. I just had a baby. I got a wife. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, I'm looking, I'm like, bro, I got. I gotta make. I gotta make money doing this music.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And I don't know, do you think that I should pretend to love Jesus for Sundays or just. And find other places to book gigs? Okay, all right.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Caller]

That's my issue.

[Beck Bennett]

Can I just say, really, really great. You know, Twisted T pays us. No minefields in this question. Just a question about a black woman, a black lesbian who was fired for race reasons, talking about faking Christianity for money. I'm sure our sponsors are thrilled with the twisted fuck it up question. You check. Chose something nice and easy that has no implications on our greater world whatsoever. It couldn't have been, hey, stop. Should I nut my girlfriend? I don't want to have a kid, but it feels good. It couldn't have been something like that, could it? Elders.

In fact, eldest kept it too twisted.

You're keeping it too twisted with this producing you piece of.

[Christopher Storer]

Damn, dude.

[Beck Bennett]

You pull a bop it, all of a sudden you think you're untouchable.

[Elders]

Now even more twisted questions than this. This doesn't seem like such a big deal.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, listen.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. The question itself isn't too twisted, but the tw. The position it puts us in is twisted.

We're getting twisted around.

[Beck Bennett]

I say keep it twisted. Look, you're afraid that. You're afraid to be a gay person in doing religious music in Atlanta. Have you ever seen us just because.

[Christopher Storer]

You don't want to fake?

[Beck Bennett]

No, no. But here's what I'm saying. Have you ever seen what choir directors in Atlanta look like? Have you ever seen a fucking like the gayest guy you've ever seen in your life with a paisley bow tie?

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, talking about. I. I just haven't. Well, I just haven't found the right woman yet. You know? I mean, this. The Lord Jesus, Atlanta might be. There might be the highest per capita of closeted gay guys in charge of quiet fires in the world is in Atlanta.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And you know, who gives a. And you know what?

[Christopher Storer]

How many pastors, priests, don't care about God or devils, their faith and are still doing. Totally.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a gig, baby.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

And also. Yeah. Just go in there and make the money. Like, it makes perfect sense. You were fired from the church.

[Beck Bennett]

Yep.

[Christopher Storer]

Because you. Because you believe. Because you were right.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Christopher Storer]

So, like, go in there and get the money. And yeah. You can still be atheist. And just. Just like also, like, if you play. Well, that's what they totally. That's what they care about.

[Beck Bennett]

You're in. You're in Atlanta. Like, depending on the city you're in as a musician, you have to do certain gigs. You think everybody in New Orleans loves jazz? No. Fat tourists want to hear.

That's what they want to hear. So you play trombone or whatever. You don't love gospel, which, by the way, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I don't believe. You know, I'm pretty atheist. Whatever. I just don't. I just think we have no clue the reality. I mean, I think something's out there, but it ain't some fucking book that a guy. That a guy wrote 4,000, you know, whatever. I just don't think that's the case. But gospel music's good sometimes. You know what I mean? Gospel music will fucking. Sometimes that's After I saw Cam Newton do that workout video to gospel. Sometimes I lift, I get pumped, and maybe it's the angels helping me hit prs.

[Christopher Storer]

It could be.

[Beck Bennett]

And in those moments, I guess that's the closest I get to being religious. So you could even say little loophole for our sponsors here. Are you faking it or in those moments, are you religious?

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. That's how we connect to God. Through religion.

[Beck Bennett]

You let the music come through you. And I'm just saying you're exploring yourself. Let's not even say you're faking it. You just happen to sign up for a high paying gig where you get to test your faith. Yeah, every time. You know what I mean?

[Christopher Storer]

Just see how it feels. Boom.

[Beck Bennett]

Book those gigs. You got. You got mouths to feed. And listen, if Jesus is real, he wants your baby to have a. He want formula. You know what I mean?

[Christopher Storer]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

And you know, and by the way, as soon as your baby's 21 years old.

[Christopher Storer]

Twisted tea.

[Beck Bennett]

Crack open an ice cold twisted tea. Keep it twisted with your son or daughter. Daughter. Whatever your. Whoever your child is, when they grow up, they're gonna love the smooth flavor of twisted tea brewed with realized tea. Beck, I don't know if you know that. Oh, actually, yeah, it's actually realized tea.

[Christopher Storer]

But it's nice to hear it. It's a good reminder.

[Beck Bennett]

And just, you know, who gives a keep it twisted sign up for any gig that can put food on the table?

[Christopher Storer]

Get that money.

[Beck Bennett]

And we, you know, we don't even think you're particularly twisted. Eldest was the twisted one this week.

[Elders]

I think if we know anything from years of ad advertising on this show, it's that there's so much room for nuance in marketing.

[Christopher Storer]

It really is really open. Anything goes.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, there's some of the most creative people you come across as podcast advertisers. Oh, well, that was this week's up ass.

[Christopher Storer]

God.

[Beck Bennett]

Twisted. Nice. Dude, how are you this up every time? That's me.

[Christopher Storer]

That's you? Yeah. Yeah. That's great. I was hoping it was you.

[Beck Bennett]

We are trying. Listen, B Dub Dubs doesn't come calling Twisted tea. What the is it gonna take to put me on a national commercial?

[Christopher Storer]

Come on, you.

[Beck Bennett]

What the is it gonna take?

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. I can't believe are they putting other people on?

[Beck Bennett]

Let me be the twisted tea guy. They have like, sexy people having a good time drinking twisted teas, dude.

[Christopher Storer]

Be perfect. Put.

[Beck Bennett]

Get me in there.

[Christopher Storer]

You're. You're a good time. You're a good vibe. You set the Part party.

[Beck Bennett]

And come on, let's be honest. Twisted tea. A lot more people that look like me are drinking twisted tea than jacked six. Two fucking beautiful beige people of all ethnicities.

[Christopher Storer]

Those people are alienating.

[Beck Bennett]

All right, well let's, let's go back to some non sponsored calls here.

[Christopher Storer]

Let's help some people.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's help some people out, man.

[Caller]

Okay, I'm gonna try to speak faster because I ran out of time. The last message was I said so to be quick about it. My dad was married to another woman before he married my mom and he had two kids with her. They got divorced. He met my mom, he had with my mom, my brother and I. So I have two half older brothers and a full brother. The entire time that my parents were together 40 some odd years. At the end of it, when we're. They're trying to sell things, they tell us, hey, we don't want the half brothers to essentially get any of the estate. We just want you guys to have the estate. We, we created all of this while we had you. They don't get anything interesting. And keep in mind that my dad had sort of become estranged with my two other.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, that's cool. Your dad's just a piece of shit.

Hey, hey, that was my practice family. They don't get a dime.

[Christopher Storer]

I made them. But like I started making, making money after I had my kids and so like my new kids get that.

[Beck Bennett]

You guys are good. Go ahead, let's keep going.

[Caller]

My mom passed away.

[Beck Bennett]

Sorry.

[Caller]

One of the good things that happened in this passing is that my half brothers reached out to my dad and have sort of rekindled this relationship. Sort of just being like, hey, why are we fighting?

[Beck Bennett]

Like here's our chance.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, okay.

[Caller]

Kindling has gone on and my dad and come up to me privately and has told no one else. Hey, I would like to give your two half brothers after I die $10,000 each from this estate. Okay, dad, it's your money if that's what you want to do. Cool. I go to my full brother and I ask him, hey, dad just talked to me, this is what he wants to do. My full brother says, whatever, it's his money. If he wants to give some of that money to our half brothers, great. So it's not about a greed thing. This question. I talked to my wife about it. Hey, this is what my dad wants to do. He wants to give my two half brothers $10,000 each after he goes. My wife.

[Beck Bennett]

Keep going.

[Caller]

Half brothers $10,000 each after he goes. My wife has an issue with it in that she thinks it is besmirching my mom's last wishes. Because my. My mom's last wishes were. She was adamant. Hey, this is an estate that I built for you boys, me and my other brother, my full brother. And it shouldn't be going to your half brothers. And at the time of my mom being alive, my dad was in agreements, so my wife is very much like. No, your mother's last part of your.

[Christopher Storer]

Mother'S last.

[Beck Bennett]

Wife says, keep going. Sorry.

[Caller]

Get all of that. This. So I don't know.

[Beck Bennett]

This is a better twisted question, by the way. You.

[Caller]

Yeah, I mean immediately.

[Beck Bennett]

The first question afterwards is a better twist.

[Christopher Storer]

So much more twisted.

[Caller]

My half brothers, who my dad, since now he has rekindled a relationship. He wants them to have something too. Thanks, man. I've been beating myself and my dad's healthy, so it's not like he's going anywhere anytime soon. So that's not part of it.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, we'll see. Maybe your half brothers. As soon as that ink dries, they're. They're up and they're. They're across the street with a sniper rifle.

[Christopher Storer]

They're going to be like, that's $20,000 between the two of us. If I kill him, then I kill you. I get 20.

[Beck Bennett]

It's the beginning of Dark Knight.

[Christopher Storer]

These boys were left by their father. They are wolves. They're going to. They're going to get whatever.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, dude, these are feral wolves. You grew up with a family of love. They all they knew was a deadbeat father.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Okay with the experiment.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Here's the thing, dude. There's a lot of things that piss me off in this question. Your dad is a fucking asshole. He left his first family and just wasn't around at all. And you don't feel any fucking sympathy for these. Any empathy for your brother and I also, can we cool it with a half brother, full brother? I mean, it's like you're not. You're not. It's not about your claim to the fucking British throne. Own. You're some fucking guy who. Your dad has like a hundred fifty thousand dollars property in Jersey. He's gonna divvy up.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

So let's fucking relax. Also, what's the percentages here? 10 grand of the estate. I'm guessing you're getting more than 10 grand. Like 10 grand is not that much fucking money.

[Christopher Storer]

That's like a little piece of it. They're each getting over around a hundred.

[Beck Bennett]

Who knows, right? He gives us no indication Right, right. He doesn't even say what this is. Compare what this compares to. So. Okay. Sorry, Beck, I'm just in the zone.

[Christopher Storer]

No, I. I love to see you.

[Beck Bennett]

So there's a.

[Christopher Storer]

You love to get twisted.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm getting twisted, actually. Again, this was a better choice. You idiot eldest.

[Elders]

We'll give him a little kickback on a couple extra drops on this one if the first one was too morally dicey for them.

[Beck Bennett]

I know, it's like we. Anyway, anyway, whatever. So that's. That's number one, right? Your dad. These are people that. Your dad. I mean, unless we're missing something. You said they're estranged. Ostensibly. Your father was a deadbeat here. Right? Which is fucked now, if he wasn't and he supported them in some other way, whatever, that's fine.

[Christopher Storer]

But yeah, maybe there was something with him and his ex wife. Maybe she pushed him out. Maybe they. She was toxic and she talked to her sons about how awful he was. They hated him.

[Beck Bennett]

And so the second thing is, look, your mom passed away. Sorry about that. That sucks. Having said that, in these situations, from what I'm reading here, she's holding a grudge against these kids whose. It's not their fault her husband nutted in his ex wife or even whatever girlfriend had kids that to her is a reminder of his last relationship. And she's like, we're freezing them the fuck out. To me, me, that's kind of a cruel stance on behalf of your mom. Unless we're missing something again, then we might be. But like whenever somebody takes out their clear, like kind of hatred on the previous relationship that their, you know, partner was in on the kid, like, the kids are fucking innocent in this and they deserve a little something again, especially if your dad fucking abandoned them. They deserve a little peace. Right? So it seems like to me your mom's wishes were coming from a fucking up place of like vengeance. Like, vengeance.

[Christopher Storer]

Maybe, Maybe your dad, I don't know what his. What he's like, but he's probably like, yeah, okay. And now that she's gone, he's like, yeah, you're definitely. Part of him is like, oh man. Like, I'm gonna die and my children, I'm gonna leave them nothing.

[Beck Bennett]

Right?

[Christopher Storer]

It seems like the 10 grand, he's not. You're. You didn't even say like 10.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no.

[Christopher Storer]

Like 10 grand to me is like, it's just a little something. So you'd be like, yeah, my dad.

[Beck Bennett]

Left me a little, like a token.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. It's like I might even be Thinking about it's just like a little something. It's like, honestly, you want that?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

You. Because you're gonna have to. If like your wife and she's like all this with money and families. I've seen it a lot in other families. In my family. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

It gets up. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Like just let go of the anger. Whatever anger is happening, like just. Just let it go and just get. Move on as much as possible. 10 grand. Like you're gonna have to hold on to that for the rest of your life. That you like didn't got in the way of your dad trying to leave his kids a little bit of money. Get a little bit more. No. I guess it's so that they don't principle of their.

[Beck Bennett]

Which.

[Christopher Storer]

And by the way, it's your dad's money too.

[Beck Bennett]

Totally.

[Christopher Storer]

He's. He's trying. He's living up to her wishes and like just giving him a bit.

[Beck Bennett]

Especially if you get a ton. Way more of it. And then the third thing that pisses me off is like, I know it's your wife, but shut the up.

[Christopher Storer]

This is not your family.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, I know you. You married into a family and you're, you know, a couple. Obviously she has an opinion, but clearly she's projecting. Now, again, these are all my reads, right. And maybe I'm projecting my own stuff on here. To me, this feels like. Well, if you would disrespect your mom's memory, what happens if we're in a similar situation? I die. You're not going to respect my memory. Like, to me, it feels like she's getting involved for personal reasons. And maybe I'm just fucking projecting onto this. But it's just a very like, shut. Shut the fuck up here. And. And I really come back to the basic, let's throw out everybody's wishes. Let's just look at how this thing goes. You have a family where the guy leaves, kind of abandons his kids and puts a lot more love and care into his second family. I think the first one deserves more. You got.

[Christopher Storer]

You already got father.

[Beck Bennett]

You already got the good parts of that. Tony.

[Christopher Storer]

You.

[Beck Bennett]

If anything, they deserve the money. You were raised by your fucking father. And you know, like, I would flip. Who fucking deserves the money? Again, maybe we're missing stuff. But anyway, that's my take on it. It's fucked up for you to be like, in terms of ultimate justice, they deserve a little. This is not even, you know, a real fucking token of anything.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And, you know, I think it's a bet it's a positive for children to reconnect with their parents.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And even if. If, like, a ghost is mad, like, what is really the downside? Your mom's like you for giving them $20,000.

[Christopher Storer]

Deal with this. Spooky.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Have a.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, apologies and reconnecting are so powerful. Like, if she saw her husband reconnect with his kids, her, like, it can just, like, melt away so much.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, totally. Who knows?

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, this is so beautiful. I can't believe I was holding on to that anger for so long. Of course.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Just so I don't know, Give them the money for sure. Tell your wife to have a little bit of empathy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Tell her to shove passion.

[Elders]

This reminds me of something my uncle told me in the car when we were driving.

[Beck Bennett]

Go ahead, Eldis. I was wondering if red pill sula would decide to say this quote. Go ahead.

[Elders]

You know, whether you're talking about the dead mom or the collar wife. It's like my uncle said, when brides enter the family, they rot the family from within.

[Christopher Storer]

Wow.

[Elders]

They rip apart the siblings, and they only cause problems between the in laws and everything. And I think that's like, the takeaway we can all agree on here. And twisted tea as well.

[Beck Bennett]

That's too. That's too. In Albania, what passes for normal is very twisted in America, Elders, you cannot not. You cannot out look, hint around misogyny, but don't outwardly say it. And by the way, that is literally advice that eldest's uncle gave him in Albania. That's a true. That is an actual conversation that he had, I think, when you were about to get married.

[Christopher Storer]

Right.

[Elders]

No, this was. This was before I was gonna get married in 2013.

[Beck Bennett]

That was just general.

[Christopher Storer]

Who marries into a family, rips it apart from the inside. Inside all women are witches. Yeah. Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Real quick.

[Elders]

I had one of my other uncle's friends, you know, in Albania, like, the old people have pretty sick lives because they're, like, retired. They got their pensions. They're just drinking, like, coffee all day.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Elders]

I was out with my uncle one morning and a bunch of his retired buddies, and one of them, like, was looking at me. You know, I'm just like a. American.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, yeah.

[Elders]

You know, they're just judging me. And this guy looks amazing. He's like, a man should only ever show his wife what's down here, never up here.

That was some other little wisdom I received on another.

[Christopher Storer]

What does that even mean? Like, obviously, show them your penis. Don't show them your mind.

[Beck Bennett]

Don't show them what you're thinking. It's not. It's not up to them. They don't need to know that.

[Christopher Storer]

Don't let them. Okay. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Would you show your dog your tax returns?

[Christopher Storer]

No.

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Elders]

It can't.

[Beck Bennett]

It can't make any sense of it. So a woman can't. You can't show her complex thought. It's the Albanian way of thinking. Not mine. I'd like to see. Say. I like to put that on record. The. The Greeks are somehow less misogynistic than Albanians.

[Christopher Storer]

Somehow it worked out that way.

[Beck Bennett]

And you wonder why. The country's a backwater. Still, you wonder why Albanians.

[Elders]

It's a young country. But we are coming up.

[Christopher Storer]

You guys are coming up. That's the way you guys think of it. We're coming up.

[Elders]

We are coming up.

[Christopher Storer]

We're just. It's kind of like, you know, the whole sleeping giant thing with. I know. We're just like, don't mess with Albania.

[Elders]

Greece has been sliding down for 5,000 years.

[Beck Bennett]

You're. You got nothing.

[Elders]

Albania' passing them on this.

[Beck Bennett]

No chance. Are you passing. You.

[Elders]

We'll see.

[Beck Bennett]

You're not passing.

[Christopher Storer]

We'll see.

[Beck Bennett]

How did you.

[Christopher Storer]

What did your wife.

[Beck Bennett]

Hey, remember when you. You took your wife to Albania and Greece in quick succession. Which country did she like more? Which country?

[Elders]

Nice beaches. That has nothing to do with the culture.

[Christopher Storer]

You know what I love? Albanian food.

That's my favorite. I love going to a nice Albanian restaurant.

[Beck Bennett]

Play us a couple more before we send our pal back home. Fellas, you already know what time it is. It's time to level up. And Bluechew just dropped something crazy. I'm talking next level championship belt, gold plated energy. Bluechew gold. I cannot wait for this innovation. I'm a man of science. It's the new innovation from the number one chewable Ed brand, a four in one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. We're talking two ingredients for blood flow mixed with apomorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and body. Bluechew Gold dissolves under your tongue and it works in as little as 15 minutes elevation without hesitation. Bluechew built different. Discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our Link. Listeners get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code STAVI. That's promo code ST A VVY. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and in very important safety information. And we thank you. Bluechew for sponsoring this podcast. Thank you, Mr. Bluechew. Hey, everybody, it's Rob Lowe here, if you haven't heard.

[Caller]

I have a podcast that's called Liquid.

[Beck Bennett]

Literally with Rob Lowe. And basically it's conversations I've had that.

[Caller]

Really make you feel like you're pulling.

[Beck Bennett]

Up a chair at an intimate dinner.

[Caller]

Between myself and people that I admire, like Aaron Sorkin or Tiffany Haddish, Demi.

[Beck Bennett]

Moore, Chris Pratt, Michael J. Fox.

[Caller]

There are new episodes out every Thursday.

[Beck Bennett]

So subscribe, please, and listen. We're ever.

[Caller]

You get your podcasts.

[Christopher Storer]

Is it fun?

[Caller]

Eldest guest. Thank you so much for all you do for the community.

[Beck Bennett]

Of course.

[Caller]

Looking for some advice? My question is simple. My wife and I are having our first child in the new year.

[Beck Bennett]

Nice, dude.

[Christopher Storer]

A baby boy.

[Caller]

I'm a cut man myself, but have strong feelings about leaving the baby uncut, as nature intended.

[Elders]

Respect.

[Caller]

My wife feels very strongly the other way. He wants a cut child. For context. Her mom is a nurse, so she's a ton of old people getting circumstances, decisions because they can't clean their piece properly anymore.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, wow.

[Caller]

So she thinks of it more as a hygiene issue, which, to be fair, listening to eldest over the years, that doesn't really help my case.

But what can I do to convince my wife to leave her baby uncut? She wasn't very receptive to this conversation previously. Anytime I feel like I'm making points, have her on the ropes, she gives me the, I'm making this child, and I don't want to talk about this anymore.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, bro.

[Caller]

Kind of a loss here. Help a brother out. Let me say. My poor baby's foreskin.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Caller]

And if Ian finances on this episode just haven't put this one out.

[Beck Bennett]

He's not.

[Christopher Storer]

He's not. Wait, so he is uncut?

[Beck Bennett]

He's on. He's clipped. But he doesn't want. He doesn't want his son to go through that kind of pain. The moment he's fucking, he's in the world. He doesn't want to welcome his son three days into his life with a knife to the cockpit. Yeah. But his barbaric wife, on the other hand, wants to mutilate her son as soon as he can. As soon as he's even barely sentient.

[Christopher Storer]

Let's get the upper hand on him.

[Beck Bennett]

Yep, exactly right. She wants to mark him.

[Elders]

Let me refer to my uncle's wisdom that I just passed by elements ago.

[Christopher Storer]

This is just the first step in ripping your family apart.

[Beck Bennett]

It starts with your son's cock.

[Christopher Storer]

With your son's cock. And Then it's gonna.

[Beck Bennett]

Who knows where it is, brother? Who knows where it is? It ends. Next thing you know, she doesn't want to give your half brother $10,000 of your million dollar inheritance.

[Christopher Storer]

She's going to be going after the penis of everybody in your family.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

She's like, I'm a nurse. I'm a nurse. Cutting your dad's penis. I'm saving his life.

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

We are staunchly, staunchly anti circumcision on this podcast as two uncut warriors. And I just think, you know, I don't know what to tell you. This is fucking. You know, you can't, you can't clip a kid. It's fucked up. His dick will be fine. This whole, this whole clean, it's. It's a hygiene thing. Propaganda that the fucking that the west has started sickens me. It's natural to have your fucking dick look like that. And that's really all there is to it. Do you want to cut, truly? Do you want to put a knife to a baby's pee penis as soon as it's born? That doesn't seem up to you for real? That's really my whole argument. I don't need more than that. Yeah, I'm sure you're a clipped man.

[Christopher Storer]

I'm a clipped man.

[Beck Bennett]

Now, obviously, I've on the record, I do have a bit of a tight foreskin. Elvis is like a loose sock. We've said that he has no cleanliness problems.

[Christopher Storer]

Damn.

[Elders]

Yeah. You just have to. I think it's noble. It is. It is a scary thing to break, break with tradition with all, you know, what your father and his, his father have done, which is, you know, clip.

[Beck Bennett]

By the way, when did that start in America? I bet you, you know, like, when did really it take off? I bet you it's not even that long.

[Christopher Storer]

I don't think it's probably.

[Beck Bennett]

I bet you it's like three generations tops.

[Elders]

But, but it's, but it's so like, it's so like prevalent that it is like scary and hard. It's like this is a lifelong decision, which even though it is like a barbaric practice, it is. It's just scary to deviate from that. So I, I get it.

[Beck Bennett]

But if you're a sheep who wants to, who wants to harm your baby three days into life.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it's really.

[Elders]

But it's noble to not do it. It is to open your eyes and.

[Beck Bennett]

Open your eyes to the truth.

[Elders]

Open your eyes to the truth. And I think, and I think like, you know, it's your duty as the father.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Elders]

To learn how you're supposed to clean a circumcised penis.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Elders]

Like, hold your.

[Beck Bennett]

An uncircumcised.

[Elders]

An uncircumcised penis. So, like, teach your son to pass that on to do the research that you need.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. There's so many, many things that you have to explain to your kids. So many things you have to clean. And it's like, it's just, it's a thing at first before you have a kid, but then it's just like, it's whatever.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

It's not going to get in the way. I mean, I would also say, on the other hand.

It doesn't matter. Yeah, it really doesn't matter.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right, right.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, so, like, I don't remember my penis getting cut. I, I, I don't think you don't. I think you don't. I mean, when you wake up in.

[Beck Bennett]

A cold sweat, it's, yeah, I do do that.

[Christopher Storer]

My penis is burning. But.

It'S, I mean, if anything, it's going to be the most. What I would say is, regardless of if, if you do go through with it and you don't want it, your wife wants it. Just be careful for the time after because it is going to be hard for you if you don't want it and she does.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Christopher Storer]

It's, it's stressful. Maybe not if your pediatrician or your, whatever, the obgyn does, do it right away when they come out screaming and it's really intense and whatever. But yeah, I would, I would honestly say it doesn't matter. Like, yeah, it's like you can't, you can't, you know, relate anything, a behavior or development to circumcising or on. And like, I think it's, I don't really matter.

[Beck Bennett]

I think it does.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, there's not really proof that like, like, it's, it's super. It's, it's, there's no, I don't think there's proof that it's harmful or helpful. You know, it's just kind of a thing. And it's like, which is why that's.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, we obviously, you know, we love to joke about how important it is to be uncircumcised, but ultimately it comes down to for real. For me, it's like, I agree with you. It probably doesn't matter. So why take a knife to a baby's. The tiebreaker is you don't have to slice a part of a baby's off as soon as it's born. That's what I would tell your dumb wife. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Tell it to her like that. I would say.

[Beck Bennett]

Keep it twisted.

Oh.

[Christopher Storer]

I would say the most important thing is to make sure it doesn't get in the way of your relationship early on.

[Beck Bennett]

True.

[Christopher Storer]

So, like, if she wins.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Just let it go. That's fair. That's actually great advice.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But don't let her win, man. If you love your son, don't let her win. Fight her tooth and nail to the. To the end.

[Christopher Storer]

Get a little chastity belt on that kid right away, slips out, put the metal belt right on. Keep it on for two weeks, and then it'll be too late.

[Beck Bennett]

You got something fun for us to go out on here, little eldest.

[Elders]

Yeah, I know we've covered a lot of controversial topics in these questions. Sure. I want to end on a hopeful note. This is a respect response to a question from the Josh Johnson episode about the guy who called in and said he knocked up a woman in France while he was on his vacation.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Elders]

So this is another caller who just wanted to.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, a different color. Not him. Okay. I was really hoping it'd be the guy. And he's like, psych. She's not pregnant.

[Elders]

He's probably still. He probably still doesn't know what the to do, but here we go.

[Caller]

Hey, Stabby.

I guess the reason I was calling is because I listened to last week's episode with Josh Johnson and there was a caller that called in.

Because he impregnated a woman in France. I just, for some reason, felt compelled to call in regards to that caller. I guess maybe because I have two boys to kids myself. And one piece of advice that I absolutely feel like I needed to tell this. This man was. If nothing else, maybe he never is a part of this child's life. But absolutely, I highly recommend try to be there for the birth. That child.

[Beck Bennett]

You might be.

[Christopher Storer]

That's crazy.

[Caller]

Questioning what to do for the rest of this child's life and, you know, pain, child support and whatever, but everything will make sense. I guarantee it. You are given a gift here. Everything will make sense. When you see that child born, it is a gift.

[Christopher Storer]

Wrong.

[Caller]

As a man who. The two little people.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Because you're in love with your wife.

[Caller]

Definitely be there for that.

[Beck Bennett]

Watch some lady he.

[Caller]

Everything will make sense.

[Christopher Storer]

That would be a confusing, awful experience for everybody.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like, you know, like, horrible.

[Christopher Storer]

You're, like, not supposed to be somewhere like. Yeah. Like, yes. You're like, I'm trying to Think of a good situation.

[Beck Bennett]

You get to a party too early and it's just. Yeah. And you don't really know the guy.

[Christopher Storer]

Or like, you find out people are hanging out, you're like, oh. They're like, oh, yeah, you can come too. And you're like, oh, you got. This was like planned and I was definitely not invited.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh, man, I should be. And you, like, try to get out, but then you don't want to make it weirder.

[Beck Bennett]

Totally, totally.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, it's kind of. That's what it feels.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I mean, this is maybe the worst advice I've ever heard in my life is he's like, even if you're not around for the kid's life, be there for the birth.

[Christopher Storer]

What? Find out where the baby's being born. He doesn't know the lady.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's a one night stand. Like, it was a magical moment for you because it's about you and your wife or the girl. Like, he says he's had two kids. Right.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, it's not about starting a family together. And it's like, it's a beautiful symbolic.

[Beck Bennett]

Moment, I would guess. I mean, you've experienced it. Like. Like, I also know guys who are like, straight up, like, I don't feel the connect.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, mom, you don't feel the connection until, until like a year and a half sometimes.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, it takes their moments where you feel it. But. But yeah, it's like when he. When they're born, it's like, it's not.

[Beck Bennett]

It'S not as a dude, it's like, even my brother who. Who wanted a kid more than anything, he was like, obviously I loved it and I was happy. But it was like at first it's just a crying.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You're like, little lump that doesn't look like anything that destroys your sleep. That just, you know, just caused insane pain to the person you love the most.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. Just fucked your wife up.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And. And like. And it takes a couple, once they start like kind of smiling a little bit. Like first they can't see. Like, this is not what this guy needs to do at all. This is maybe the worst advice I've ever heard in my life.

[Christopher Storer]

I don't know. I mean, I'm sure this. He impregnated this woman, what, recently?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, if she didn't want to have the baby, she probably could have.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. She could have figured something out.

[Christopher Storer]

She could have taken a pill. She. Afterwards, she could have figured it out.

I mean, it's up to her to have the baby if she wants to. Totally. And if she hasn't been in touch, then she probably doesn't want him around.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, I think she has. The call was basically like, she did hit this guy up. And he's like. And he's like, what the fuck do I do? He's like, do I move to. And it's like, look, either way, we gave this guy advice already, and this guy's giving completely different advice. That is truly, truly horrendous advice that, like, that's not. I wouldn't wait.

[Christopher Storer]

Start a life with somebody. No, you don't want to.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, listen, if this guy ended up moving to France, if he ended up staying in contact with her, that's one thing. But, like, he's like, I. It's such. I have a hard time because this guy started being like, look, even if you're not in the kid's life, go to the birth. That's insane.

[Christopher Storer]

That's insane.

[Beck Bennett]

Because first of all, it's way more important to support this woman and the kid financially.

[Christopher Storer]

Like, send some money and then if.

[Beck Bennett]

You can, then to attend the. That's the most symbolic I've ever heard in my life. That's not how the world.

[Christopher Storer]

Imagine being that guy and being like, telling that story. Like, me being like, yeah, so I'm pregnant with this woman in France. And then I was like, no, I'm not going to be in their lives. But I went back for the birth.

[Beck Bennett]

But I went back for the birthday. It was like, so magic.

[Christopher Storer]

And now I, like, totally.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I get, like, life and, like, everything, and I don't. I mean, I've never seen her. I mean, also, it's so funny because it's like, this is a guy who hooked up with this woman once. Like, he. If they didn't tell him, like, I don't even know if he'd be able to find the fucking room. Like, he'd be like, I think that's the girl I like.

[Christopher Storer]

I think. Are you the girl that I.

[Beck Bennett]

She's not wearing makeup. She looks kind of fat and busted right now. Like, he would not. It's just. That's. That's hilarious advice to give this guy. I mean, it just couldn't be more wrong, in my opinion. Yeah, because, like, the act of the birth is not. Not that. It's like, people really love symbolism. And it's like sometimes it's just a weird up. Were you there? I mean, you. You.

[Christopher Storer]

You were in the room.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

I mean, it was. It was powerful, but it was there. Was a lot of intense stuff going on. Like this. Like we had this music playing and a song came on that was like oddly Seren, master of puppets. M. Yeah, absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

Everything alive change.

[Christopher Storer]

You know, Cuz we were like, we're the puppet masters. Little puppet all connected. We saw go first, of course, of course. But like he put him on a little table and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like, you know, it's. It's just a lot. And then they kind of like they're wrapping stuff up and they're cleaning the floor and they're like, you got an hour until we move you to the next ward. And like, try to eat some food. It's just like you're exhausted. It's not.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it seems way more. I mean, giving birth is. Is still really dangerous, like for a person. And it's like even in like it seems so much more about getting through it healthy, like making sure the kids are right. Making sure. It's like let.

[Christopher Storer]

Let her have that moment with her baby. Like if she's keeping. You know, might not be in their life. She doesn't want you there.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

You know, she doesn't want you to be a part of this moment.

[Beck Bennett]

You know what it's like?

[Elders]

It's.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like at a wedding when like the youngest sibling in a family brings their shitty boyfriend that they're going to break up with in two months and he's in all the pictures and it's like part of this.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Like he's not even. He didn't wear a real suit. He's wearing like a, you know, like a skinny tie and like a shitty. A shitty jacket ruining every memory. Every memory.

[Christopher Storer]

I love her.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

That's like what it would be like if you abandoned these people but were at the birth. She'd be like, God, that was weird.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, you would ruin it.

[Beck Bennett]

So anyway, I really read that differently than you, eldest. You said it was a hopeful note. I thought it was. Really. Again, you're really off this episode in terms of. Your instincts have been pretty atrocious.

[Christopher Storer]

That's sort of like. I hope. I mean that sort of. That sort of misguided morality more than anything.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, right, right. You know, just don't work hard at it and reconcile these difficult feelings. Just. Just be there and it'll all go away.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like, no, it won't.

[Christopher Storer]

No, no.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, maybe will be st. As stupid as you are.

[Christopher Storer]

It's almost like that almost kind of feels like the Advice of if the real your relationship is having problems because you haven't had a baby.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I have a baby.

[Christopher Storer]

And then have another one. Every time you have problems, have another baby and see that baby. Maybe it'll bring you together, solve your problems. No, no.

Really.

[Beck Bennett]

Anyway, great stuff. Elders on a bang up producing job. Honestly, you started off so that's the problem. You came out of the gate with sock and boppers in a way that you truly have never been proactive. And then you've been. You rested on those laurels. We gave you such a nice compliment on that that you. You really pitched them. Maybe you were maybe like 1 in 5 for the calls.

[Elders]

I did anti usual thing. I set the bar too high early on. Really left myself no margin.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Hey, like you did so bad. We didn't even comment on the fact that you somehow up the twisted T song on the way out. You. Those buttons up. I could see that you're struggling button wise recently.

[Elders]

Yeah, I the loop up.

[Christopher Storer]

But you didn't hear the dog.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, you didn't hear the dog. It's been going this whole time. Time. That's fine though. We couldn't do anything.

[Christopher Storer]

It seems like that's one. One out of five. Is that. That's pretty good for you or before.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, for sure. He's definitely had way worse episodes, both technically. And there have been some episodes where I'm like embarrassed to the guest from like we're answering the same shitty question four times in a row.

[Christopher Storer]

But he's not embarrassed.

[Beck Bennett]

He's not. No, no, no. That's. That's his greatest strength. He can't be embarrassed.

[Elders]

Man, I'll stop dead in my tracks.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, that's the beauty of him. It's like. It is just like having. He's the podcast equivalent of like an ox in the field. He's just going. He's plowing through. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Chewing a little cud like that's what you need.

[Christopher Storer]

That's like to do a podcast. A little brain dance.

[Beck Bennett]

Exactly.

[Christopher Storer]

Plowing.

[Elders]

I'm like the Simpsons episode where Homer was a boxer. It's like, I can give you 14 rounds.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely. That is the best. That's the best, best analogy for your talents as a podcast producer. You'll never be knocked out, you'll never be good, but you'll never be locked out.

[Christopher Storer]

That's impressive. Know your strengths.

[Beck Bennett]

So yeah. Yeah. Give yourself a little applause at the end there. Eldis back. Thank you so much for coming, man. This was a great. It's Great having you listen to the pod guys. It's out now. There's an episode. They've got bank. They got 14 banks. Got 14 banks by now, who knows?

[Christopher Storer]

We got Meg Stalter coming out.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, Meg's the best.

[Christopher Storer]

She's so funny.

[Beck Bennett]

She really ripped us apart good.

[Christopher Storer]

She was with us in a while. I was like, wait, what?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh no.

[Christopher Storer]

Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. Wait.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. She's the best. She's so funny. And that episode will probably be out weeks before this one.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, it's gonna be.

[Beck Bennett]

Check out Mex Dalter on the podcast. That happened like a month ago probably. Yeah, cuz it's like mid November right now.

[Christopher Storer]

Yeah, we got new episodes coming back coming out soon. By the time you listen to this, I will have taken Savi's advice and implemented it and just not watching the edit.

[Beck Bennett]

It'll be. It'll be a worse podcast, but it'll go down smooth.

[Christopher Storer]

Easier.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it'll go down smooth, brother. That's all you want. Thanks guys. We will talk to you next time. Bye bye.

[Christopher Storer]

Byebye.

Hey everybody, Ted Danson here to tell.

[Elders]

You about my podcast with my longtime.

[Christopher Storer]

Friend and sometimes co host Woody Harrelson. It's called Where Everybody Knows your Name.

[Elders]

And we're back for another season. I'm so excited to be joined this.

[Christopher Storer]

Season by friends like John Mulaney, David.

[Elders]

Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to Where Everybody Knows yous Name.

[Christopher Storer]

With me, Ted Danson and Woody Harrell Carlson sometimes, wherever you get your podcasts. Ah, dsw Earth, place of the humble. Brag here. The shoes are so good.

[Beck Bennett]

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[Christopher Storer]

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[Beck Bennett]

Great prices, we'll definitely give you something to brag about. So go ahead, stock up on fresh.

[Christopher Storer]

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