#161 - Kumail Nanjiani

Summary

Stavvy’s World #161 – Kumail Nanjiani

Release Date: December 29, 2025
Host: Stavros Halkias (Stav)
Guest: Kumail Nanjiani

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Episode Overview

In this lively and hilarious episode, comedy heavyweight Kumail Nanjiani joins Stavros Halkias on the couch to reminisce about their stand-up origins, discuss Kumail’s career trajectory, and dispense advice to listeners on everything from lingering high school drama to sex and familial boundaries. The conversation flows naturally between personal anecdotes, cultural observations, and acute industry insights—all delivered with signature wit and warmth.

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Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Meeting & Early Stand-Up (01:00–09:05)

• Recalling Their First Encounters:
  • Stav reflects on being a fan of Kumail before his acting days, describing his deep dive into the world of alt-comics taking off.
  • Both recount awkward college years, their struggles with romantic encounters, and their late-bloomer status in relationships.
    • Memorable Moment: "At certain, you know, 16, 17, 18, being like, I will just never have sex.” – Kumail (04:07)
  • Stav recollects his formative first “titties touch” during a Greek festival and subsequent teenage telemarketing job.
• Relatable Youthful Awkwardness:
  • Both share the anxiety and ineptitude of early sexual experiences, building camaraderie over shared insecurity and comedic reflection.

2. Cultural Backgrounds & Online Hate (13:19–18:11)

• Pakistan-Punjab Differences & Nationalism:
  • Kumail discusses growing up in Pakistan, touching on the enforced animosity toward India in education and society.
  • The conversation yields funny insights about border-hate traditions, and the still-lingering blood feuds in Balkan cultures.
    • Quote: "Our history was like, ‘these are the people you dislike.’" – Kumail (14:46)
• Online Hate Trends:
  • Kumail remarks that most of his hate online now comes from American right-wingers and Indians, especially over his marriage to a white woman.
    • Quote: "I'm a white supremacist because I fell in love with a white woman. It's fucking crazy." (16:39)

3. Reflections on “The Big Sick” and Shifting Cultural Moods (16:57–21:00)

• Changing Perceptions:
  • The success and subsequent evolving critiques of “The Big Sick”; from celebration as a multicultural story to being labeled by extremes as “white supremacy propaganda.”
    • "It's literally eight years later, people are like, 'This is fucked up.'" – Stav (17:16)
• Navigating “Importancy”:
  • Kumail muses about the burden of suddenly being perceived as an “important” cultural voice, when the original aim was just to make a personal, funny movie.

4. Stand-Up: Leaving, Returning, & “Alt” Scene (19:41–32:18)

• Kumail’s Standup Hiatus:
  • Details his 10-year break from standup comedy, focusing on acting ("Silicon Valley") and only returning during the actor/writer strike.
  • Discusses the challenge and skepticism actors face when returning to standup, especially amidst a climate where other “canceled” celebs take to standup after scandal.
    • Quote: "There's no dignified way from going to, like, movie star to stand up." – Stav (31:04)
• Comedy Scene Evolution:
  • Kumail recounts starting in Chicago’s alt scene, opening for Zach Galifianakis, and moving to New York—the importance of writing tight jokes that could work in any room.
    • "The math of that was always very, very important to me." – Kumail (30:07)
  • Reflects on the thrill of seeing masters improvise and the dreamscape of early comedy ambition.

5. Action Movies, Hollywood, & The Marvel Experience (34:48–51:05)

• Revenge Flicks & Pop Culture:
  • Both riff on their love for “fascist fantasy” action movies and the coded attempts in films to show “he's not racist though.”
    • “They do a little ‘tip to Black’ in the beginning and then you can just go kill a bunch of Black people and it's fine.” – Kumail (35:49)
• Hopes, Regrets, and Marvel:
  • Kumail is openly regretful he’s not in more Marvel films: “Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah. By now I'd be in like four Marvel movies. What a bummer.” (50:13)
  • Acknowledges the power and flexibility Marvel success could have offered for pursuing side projects.

6. Moviegoing, TV vs. Film, & Future of Media (53:14–59:39)

• Movie Theater Nostalgia & Cinephilia:
  • Exchanges favorite moviegoing experiences (e.g. “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” at the Cinerama Dome).
  • Laments the decline of communal moviegoing, hoping for a resurgence in repertory screenings.
• Hollywood’s Cycles:
  • Kumail analyzes how cinematic trends shift as reactions—from musicals to gritty 70s drama, 80s action excess, and indie 2000s. Hopes for cheaper, riskier, $5–10 million films in today's climate.
    • Quote: “There is no downside to being successful, Scavros.” – Kumail (50:54)
• Movies vs. TV:
  • Both express a preference for films over endless TV series, noting the exhausting nature of American “show bibles.”
    • Quote: “If we get to one [season], it's a home run. What are you talking about?” – Kumail (59:35)

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Listener Advice Segment

[Select Calls, Paraphrased & Key Responses]

1. The Estranged Friend Group – Sleeping With a Friend’s Little Sister

Caller at (62:01): Slept with a best friend’s little sister in high school; now, eight years on, the friend group is divided, and his former friend still won’t speak to him.

• Hosts’ Take:
  • Stav notes the absurdity of still being enmeshed in drama from high school: “You got bigger issues... talking about a hookup from high school as a 25-year-old.”
  • Kumail recognizes the small-town dynamic, where friend groups calcify for decades.
  • All agree: “The problem is this guy has made up his mind. He hates you… anything to mend? No.”
  • Quote: “It’s so over.” – Kumail (69:15)
  • Advice: Move on with your life; the social wound won’t heal, nor is it worth trying to resuscitate.

2. Sex with a Husband with Chronic Pain/TMJ/Antidepressants

Caller at (70:50): Wants less strenuous sex for her husband (chronic pain, on antidepressants, can’t eat her out due to TMJ), but worries about emasculating him.

• Hosts’ Take:
  • Kumail suggests medical interventions: consult a doctor about libido and erectile function; there are options for both antidepressant/ED side effects and TMJ.
  • Stav pivots to creative, playful options—sex swings, remote-controlled vibrators, and building intimacy using toys and non-penetrative approaches.
  • Both stress importance of mutual connection, experimentation, and not letting lack of “performance” erode intimacy.
    • “Sex can be vulnerable… a sexless couple, sexlessly romantic couple, I truly believe cannot survive.” – Kumail (78:06)
  • Normalize experimentation and communication; focus less on “doing it right” and more on what feels good and brings closeness.

3. Overbearing Immigrant Father-in-Law Takes Over House During Visits

Caller at (82:27): Loves his Mexican in-laws, but father-in-law is boundaryless—takes over kitchen, makes unwanted food, sleeps on couch, breaks things, and is sensitive to criticism.

• Hosts’ Take:
  • Both co-hosts and Kumail empathize, drawing parallels with their own experiences with immigrant families.
  • “Boundaries are such an American thing… There’s no word for boundary [in Urdu]; we have a word for border – we need that!” – Kumail (89:45)
  • Suggest a combination of positive reinforcement (“I love your carne asada, can you make more of that rather than the knuckle stew?”) and strategic surrender (“I’d be like, you win, this is how it’s going to be”).
  • The chaos is temporary and rooted in love—the father-in-law shows affection through cooking and overt presence. Ride it out, especially since they’re helping with childcare.

4. Hot Caller with Eczema

Caller at (98:41): Self-proclaimed hot woman with eczema on thighs and ass worries about sexual partners’ reactions; doesn’t want to seem “diseased.”

• Hosts’ Take:
  • Universal consensus: This is a non-issue, and the stigma is manufactured by impossible beauty standards.
  • “This would not stop me at all. Wouldn't even enter my body.” – Stav (103:08)
  • Only caveat: if it really could be visually mistaken for an STD, a quick, honest heads-up is best.
  • Kumail reassures her that it’s among the most minor things anyone could have, and the right people will not care in the least.
    • “I'd be like, oh, thank God she's human.” – Kumail (103:22)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Online Hate and Interracial Marriage:
  “I'm a white supremacist because I fell in love with a white woman. It's fucking crazy.” – Kumail (16:39)

• On the Stand-Up Return:
  “There's no dignified way from going to, like, movie star to stand up.” – Stav (31:04)

• On Revenge Flicks:
  “They do a little tip to black in the beginning and then you can just go kill a bunch of black people and it's fine.” – Kumail (35:49)

• On Cinephilia:
  “One of my favorite moviegoing experiences… I was vibrating afterwards.” – Kumail (53:31)

• On the Estranged Friendship:
  “It’s so over.” – Kumail (69:15)

• On Intimacy in Relationships:
  “A sexless couple, sexlessly romantic couple, I truly believe cannot survive.” – Kumail (78:06)

• On Women’s Body Insecurities:
  “I'd be like, oh, thank God she's human.” – Kumail (103:22)

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Early Comic Roots / College Awkwardness: 01:00–09:05
• Cross-Border & Online Hate: 13:19–18:11
• The Big Sick: Reception & Reappraisal: 16:57–21:00
• Returning to Standup: 19:41–32:18
• Hollywood, Revenge Movies, & Marvel: 34:48–51:05
• Movie/TV Industry Talk: 53:14–59:39
• Listener Advice Segment Begins: 62:01
  • Estranged Friend Group: 62:01–70:45
  • Chronic Pain & Sex: 70:50–80:09
  • Father-in-Law Boundaries: 82:27–97:04
  • Eczema & Dating: 98:41–103:22

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is true to Stavvy’s World: conversational, raw, self-deprecating, and compassionate—peppered with riotous jokes and a sustainable, lived-in wisdom. Kumail Nanjiani is a generous, candid guest, detailing his own insecurities, career pivots, and cultural acclimations while offering measured, empathetic advice to the show’s callers. The listener leaves with the sense that success, anxieties, relationship struggles, and familial absurdities are all universal—and can be processed with humor and humility.

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For Kumail's new stand-up special, check Hulu (released Dec. 19 or shortly thereafter), and catch him in the new season of Fallout on Amazon Prime.

Transcript

[Kumail Nanjiani]

TikTok for business is helping owners like you reach new customers every day.

[Advertisement Voice]

We saw up to a 10x return on our TikTok shop ads a few years ago. I started sharing my love for fashion on social media and Willow Boutique was born. We're not just a place to shop. We've really become a community. TikTok allows us to find more people to have that great experience. I cannot imagine my business without TikTok. It's completely changed my life and I could not be happier.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Head over to get started. Started.TikTok.com TikTokapps holiday PSA from DSW.

[Advertisement Voice]

This is a reminder that shoes are a gift.

[Elders]

Literally.

[Advertisement Voice]

So unwrap something good, like boots that inspire your next big adventure. Or cozy slippers that give you an excuse to stay in. Or sneakers that feel like pure joy.

[Elders]

Because shoes aren't just shoes.

[Advertisement Voice]

They're exactly what you wanted.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Let us surprise you so you can surprise them.

[Advertisement Voice]

Find shoes that get you and everyone on your list at prices that get your budget at dsw stores or dsw.com.

[Elders]

Papa welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World 904-800 Stop. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. We got on the couch. Kumail Nanjiani. We're pumped to have you here, dude. Thanks for coming. Night. Thoughts on Hulu. You like the promo? You like the professional intro?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That was a really. Until you said that, I was so impressed.

[Elders]

I was like, honestly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

First thought was, he knows the phone number by heart.

[Elders]

It took a while. Been doing the show two and a half years.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This guy's going places.

[Elders]

And by the way, the last four digits are st.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know, I know. Hey, that's professional, too. That's not a coincidence.

[Elders]

That's why people like, oh, are you from Jacksonville? It's like, no. We put in ST on Google Voice and whatever number came back, we took.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, wow.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's great. Love it, though.

[Elders]

But yeah. Got the new special out. Nice to have you here, dude. We're big fans. I mean, I. When. When we met at. We, like saw Naked Gun. Naked Gun, which was awesome. It's so really good.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So good.

[Elders]

Really good. I told you. Like, I, I weirdly was keyed in on because I was really into stand up when you were like, kind of taking off before the acting stuff at all. Like, we're talking just. You were like. I was like, really investigating. Hey, what Alt comics are on the rise.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

You know, and like, I have these very vivid memories of being. I worked at the Grad school at University of Maryland, Baltimore County. I was my jobs my senior year.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How's that school?

[Elders]

It's actually pretty good. It's not a bad school. Not a fun school. It's one of those, like, you'll get an education, but it kind of sucks dick. The parties were all. I remember being keyed up. I'm so pumped. I'm like, I'm in college, baby. Going to my first college party in a dorm. Fully 19 men.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

19 men.

[Elders]

Two girls. Two girls. Uncomfortable. The girls are like, we gotta get outta here. And it's just. There's just enough room for someone brought in a folding table in a little dorm. And it's just literally beer pong. And just like, people circling around it like it's the Coliseum.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

There's no way to talk. Everyone's trying to shuffle to get close to the girls. You know, obviously none of us got to fuck them. They all. They were long.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Somebody. Somebody got to fuck.

[Elders]

You're right. Somebody did. You know what one of my roommates did at a certain point? End up fucking them. So I did spend. I did. I got to know her through as, like, a girl getting fucked while pretending to sleep.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That was always the worst. I've been there when it was like sex was like a distant. Like, there's no way this will ever happen for me.

[Elders]

I didn't lose my percent.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know, I was like, fairly, like, into my college career before I lost my virginity.

[Elders]

Me too.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You were?

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Oh, we. We were not getters in high school. Me and this guy, we grew up together. And we really, really pathetically tried to have sex our whole adolescence, and it did not work out for us.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I mean, I remember at certain, you know, 16, 17, 18, being like, I will just never have sex. Oh, it's just not gonna happen for me.

[Elders]

That was exactly. You know why?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because I don't deserve it.

[Elders]

My dick. Why would I have said a little dick? I got ugly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I got a terrible personality. I feel like people with terrible dicks are fucking, but I'm like, I got nothing to offer a woman. Why would she. I don't deserve it. They're right.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's interesting, because I think I had a. Some kind of sexual. Like, I thought I was inadequate because I couldn't. Because I did. I could get girls to like me because I was always had, like, the. I was always, like, fun. But it was the moment someone showed that it was possible. I clammed you. I was a coward.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You choked, dude.

[Elders]

I blew so Many. Yeah. You missed free throws. Yeah, I'm at the last minute shaking.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You already know. Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

Like the crowd noise.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right? Right, yeah. Like Chris Weber.

[Elders]

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm calling a timeout. Absolutely. I had so many opportunities, like starting young. Like, the first time I, like, saw. I touched titties, I was like 15, 14.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, my God.

[Elders]

At night.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did she know?

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah. She was unconscious. I was volunteering in an old folks home. I was getting my. I was trying to pump up my college resume.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Still code.

[Elders]

I would dress. What I would do is I would dress up in a World War II outfit. I would say, dolly, I'm home. We got those krauts.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You've been waiting for this day for 40 years.

[Elders]

And you know, people say I didn't get consent. I made those old ladies day before. I come back with. With flowers.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's the best day she's had in decades. Since she got the letter. This is the best day she's had.

[Elders]

It was it. Yeah, it was like the Greek festival. It's at my church. That was the one night a year you would get drunk as a child at our church.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's a thing. Is. Is a Greek church like a drinky place?

[Elders]

Well, we would have the big money maker for every Greek church you go to. Like, if you ever been to any bum fuck town, they're having a Greek festival. It's because the Orthodox church in that town.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's interesting because where Emily's from, North Carolina, there's a Greek festival that she.

[Elders]

Talks about and that. And it's like the money maker that makes the church's money for the year because everybody comes. That's what it is. That's really all it is, is like the biggest fundraiser.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Why do they have a Greek festival?

[Elders]

Yeah. And so it's a scam. Exactly. And they loved getting and. And Greeks, you know, they'll. They'll let children drink, whatever. And it was like New Year's in. The Greek festival was like June and, you know, December. It was like your two nights to get up as a child and just like, try and, you know, make out. And literally the first time I touched titties was at my church, drunk as hell off of like. And like my brother's God sister was like, working the bar and so she's like, here's all the beers you want, little buddy. Like, I'm just getting served as a child. Right. I felt like the man.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So then. But anyway, talk me through this moment.

[Elders]

You know, it was just a girl who. Let's Just say great gal, fun gal. Right. She came with someone else and I just kind of waited for him to blow it. Like, I need that just kind of was on the periphery and it was.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

One of those like slowly circling closer and we. I knew spiraling.

[Elders]

I kind of knew her. She was like from my school and she. This was her like exotic come to. Come to East Baltimore. Yeah, yeah. Check out what gre. What the Greeks are up to. Like a white trash girl who was on a. Like a. Just a rough graphic.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

You know, she's surveying the natives. Yeah, exactly. And I just think whoever brought her kind of blew. It was like there was one at this Greek festival. There was one more timid pussy than me and I just had to outdo him, basically.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's like what they say about running away from a bear.

[Elders]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You don't got to be fast. You just got to be better than the worst.

[Elders]

His hamstrings. So the no pussy getting bear catches.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Him instead of me.

[Elders]

And yeah, you know, it was great. One of the. One of the highlights of my life.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Did you see her again?

[Elders]

Yeah, it was one of those classic. She. She was like such a seasoned pro at like getting.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Getting her titties.

[Elders]

Yeah. And getting her taste. That to her it was like. Like now, you know, like in your 30s, you might get drunk and be like, oh, I can't believe I made out with that person. I was kind of wild or whatever. You're like, you know, you're capable that. She was kind of in that Mode at like 15. So I remember being at my. My telemarketing job the next day. Which by the way, I was also a 15 year old telemarketer for American Government Mortgage.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Can I tell you something?

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I could pick that up from your vibe. When I first encountered you, I was like somewhere in his teens, this guy was selling bullshit on a phone.

[Elders]

I didn't. I didn't close a single app. I would like to. I didn't. I didn't help the housing crisis. In fact, I kind of took some of the money away from it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You were like guy in the big short.

[Elders]

Exactly. Basically. Yeah. Yeah. I was just a very incompetent guy at one of those offices.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I actually helped.

[Elders]

I was helping because I was getting $10 an hour from one of these horrible shell companies.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's what. You know what is so funny to me? Like, this is the thing that all those people who got stuck in the Riyadh Comedy Festival. By the way, funniest news story of the last 10 years.

[Elders]

It is really funny.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's so great.

[Elders]

So, I mean, I. Obviously, I wouldn't. I got offered. I didn't want to do it. I think we shouldn't support, you know, regime. Like, it's a monarchy that has so many human rights violations that it's like, I wouldn't have done it, but whatever. But I also, it is funny because Kamala wins. No one gives a fuck about this.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right.

[Elders]

Everyone is cashing their checks. Right, right, right. You know, and so many of these are the same people. Like, I bet you Gabriel Iglesias is doing a fucking private for, like, Deloitte. He's fucking. He's like, signing bombs for, like, you know, Northrop. Northrop Grumman and shit like that. Like, they probably named a bomb Fluff something in the past. He's probably gotten, like, $2 million to do standup. Like, all these guys.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm not murderous. I'm fluffy.

[Elders]

All these guys are used to cashing huge checks from evil people. They're like, now I have to. Now I'm getting in trouble.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, it's. To me, it's so funny because not one person was like, hey, I am taking money away from them. What I'm going to use it for is going to be better. What they will use it for. Why did nobody come up with that?

[Elders]

They tried, but it was too late. Yeah, they tried after they got caught. And then I think they were like, human rights groups were like, we don't want blood money.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

To me, that's the funniest. When people try to donate, they were like, we don't want it. Nothing you do.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough one. But anyway. Yes. So how did it end? Real quickly, put a button on and then we'll actually talk to our guest who.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm so interested in this.

[Elders]

I just remember being like. Like, going into my job, being like, well, it looks like I have a girlfriend now. And like. And then, like, is the MySpace days. And being like, oh, let's see if. Have I made her top eight yet? Like, truly. Because I had no. I had no. I had no. And never gotten any romantic attention from a girl. So I just figured, like, once she.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Kisses, it's so important.

[Elders]

She's your girlfriend.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. It changes how you see yourself.

[Elders]

And then it was like, not only that, but, like, it becomes clear by cruising her MySpace, she has a boyfriend. Yeah. And then she's messaging me like, lol. I don't even remember what happened last.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Trying to backtrack.

[Elders]

And now I'm like haha. Me neither. I'm crying. I'm crying in my.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You've been replaying it exactly as it happened in your head all week.

[Elders]

In my head. It's the start of video.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I could animate the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. I totally. My first kiss. I remember this was in college and I was late bloomer for sure.

[Elders]

Nothing going on in Pakistan. No.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, no, not for me.

[Elders]

Sure, sure.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm sure people somewhere were doing stuff. You know, it's such a different environment.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Different priorities.

[Elders]

Blame the culture.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

People trying to get laid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was focusing on math.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This really cute girl in college was like into me and the. When we. The first time we kissed, I was so bad that it completely immediately.

[Elders]

That was it. That ruined it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was so bad. Cuz I was like, well the goal must be to get as much of my tongue into her face as possible. Right?

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think part of me was like, you know when you're like hungry for a long time. Oh yeah, it's that.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, it's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I was like. I was like Tom Hanks from Cast Away. Back on land. Like what you got?

[Elders]

Yeah. Awful show at the buffet. Just shove it with both hands. Yeah, that's a tough one. That's using. What was the like, what was the culture like? Like hookup wise in Pakistan. Because like I remember going to Greece and being shocked at how much like kids were fucking.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Really?

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well at least in my experience from what I saw it was very. It was not like I went from first of all my school until. So we had 13 grades, we had a year extra.

[Guest Caller 1]

Wow.

[Elders]

Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Until the 11th grade. The school I was in two years.

[Elders]

Just like telling you to hate how much you should hate India. They do an extra.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, we start that.

[Elders]

That's. That's pre K. That's pre K. What.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Are you talking about?

[Elders]

I love countries that are still engaged in like medieval levels of like we must hate our border neighbor. Like it's like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, I mean it's. They're right there.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah. It's tough. I mean because we have a very.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They look just like us.

[Elders]

I know that the secret agent thing must be easy. There's very little disguise. No, no, no.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There's no prep required. Same langu, same pop culture. Just, just waltz in there. Nobody's going to stop you.

[Elders]

A little religious difference, but that's pretty much it. But like I remember because like we joke all the time because elders Albanian and I'm Greek and it's like There is funny, there are still, like, people who think we're engaged in this, like, blood feud. And there's hilariously, occasionally, like, a skirmish at the border where, like, two guards will be like, fuck Albanians. Like, fuck Greece. And they'll shoot at each other. But it's not. The whole country was constantly keyed up.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's really changed more recently. It's not cool.

[Elders]

Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's gone bad.

[Elders]

Oh, no.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's gone the other way.

[Elders]

I'm wrong. That's great.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, no, no, no, no. Well, you know, since we were kids, obviously, first of all, we weren't our history books. Like, our history was like, these are the people you dislike. These people are like. I remember what. There was, like, a trick question and a thing about some, like, Islamic war that was like, how many side were martyred? And the answer is zero. They went to hell.

[Elders]

Martyrs they were not.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you how many died righteously. Their lives were snuffed.

[Elders]

That's so funny to be doing, like, trick questions.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was a trick question. I remember. And the guy was so proud. It was like one of those tests with the. For some reason, the teacher was just going to, like, walk through and ask each other kid a question loud to everybody. And I remember how smug the teacher looked. I remember how smug the kid looked when they got it right. And everyone else was like. There were murmurs of like, pretty good question. Pretty good question. Yeah, like. Like in a courtroom when a new evidence is introduced, you know, it was that vibe.

[Guest Caller 1]

Of course.

[Elders]

Of course.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was very exciting. I feel like it's changed because for me, growing up, I personally did not feel any hatred towards India or Indian people. I grew up watching Bollywood movies. Culturally, we're the same. Like, I truly understood that, and we all liked each other, you know, and. But now the. When I'm mostly off social media, when I'm on, the hate I get is most from, like, the people you would think in America and then Indian people. That's the biggest demo.

[Elders]

I do think Indians have really upped their online hate. Like, they've gotten good at it, man. They're fucking awesome at it. Like, so being a Pakistani guy in the middle of, like, some culture wars, you're kind of like, getting it from both sides.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. You know, it's kind of like, to me, like, I'm married to a white woman.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's something both sides hate.

[Elders]

Yeah, everyone's. Everyone hates that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, nobody likes that. Like, how did fuck did that happen? I get why the right hates it, but the left also hates it. I'm a white supremacist because I fell in love with a white woman. It's fucking crazy. I mean, truly, genuinely.

[Elders]

Yeah, it is something. It's. It's really funny too, cuz it's like you can almost chart it with your career. Cuz it's like the movie you literally like, what was like a decade ago, 2017, almost. Not even, not even 10 years ago, the like, like you get an Oscar nomination for a heartwarming story about what's nice about that, about like breaking down, like coming together culturally. It's like literally eight years later, people are like, this is fucked up.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, this is white supremacy propaganda.

[Elders]

This is both white supremacy and disgusting race mixing at the same time. It's like it's gotten fucking.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I know, I remember, you know, you do test screenings, right? And I was so involved. I read like every single response and there were a few that were like, I just. I just don't think this kind of thing is good. And I'm like. And you stayed for the whole movie. You thought at the end maybe.

[Elders]

Everybody Loves Raymond. What do you. I thought, you know, I was here for a moment.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's right.

[Elders]

Great cast. For real.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Great cast. Great cast.

[Elders]

You guys crushed it. But yeah, that is very fucking funny that people were like, yeah, because that was in the height of like things were. I mean it was the tail, but it was like pretty woke around years.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, 2016 is the election and we make the movie in 2016 going into the election. Then 2017, we debuted at Sundance the day of the inauguration. It was the same exact movie.

[Elders]

Oh my God, that's so funny.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Conditions were real nice for us.

[Elders]

That's really. Well, you know, I bet you there was kind of like a. Cuz there that was like in the height of the liberal backswing of like we have to support everything that Donald Trump would hate. So I'm sure there were some like resistant libs that were like, we think this is good. You know what I mean? We love this. They're not even paying attention. They're like, yep, I'm a good person.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Totally was like, oh, we've, we're now important.

[Elders]

So. Which is.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'll take it.

[Elders]

Which is tough to be important because you just wanted to make a personal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You just wanted to make a funny movie. Yeah, a personal, funny movie. Exactly.

[Elders]

Which. It is fun. And I can't believe it was. I felt like it was longer, I think probably because I was just aware of you, what I was trying to say, because When I. At the. When I was working at that grad school where, you know, I guess. I guess I had gotten by then. But it was close my senior year of college. I remember because I was aware of both you and Emily. I also, like, I listened to your video game podcast, the Indoor Kids. Yeah, the Indoor Kids, which I was. Because I was just trying to find comedians. I remember listening to a different podcast that played a clip of your. The cheese bit.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

The heroin and Tylenol PM bit. And I was like, this is good stuff.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

And it was. Yeah, it was just like fat. You were a fascinating guy because it was like all the trappings of just like good alt comedy, like good joke writing, like whatever. Nerdy shit.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And then it was also like you. You would talk about the bizarre story of how you and Emily. Because, like, that is true. The Big Sick is like, it's insane that you guys were casually dating and then she has like a life threatening illness to the point where you have to like meet her family.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Which that was crazy to me. And then it was interesting to me to like know about a guy who was. Because you're an immigrant. Like, I'm an immigrant too. But you're like, you came here for Fudgeing College 18. You know what I mean?

[Guest Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Elders]

It's like you're an immigrant. Immigrant.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I'm an immigrant.

[Elders]

As immigrant.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, it's totally true.

[Elders]

But you went right into that, like American Apparel hoodie alt comedy zone.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

By being foreign as fuck. And I just, I always, I just appreciate. I was like, this is a weird, interesting guy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, it just sort of happened like that. I didn't choose to be alt versus love. It's just the people I like, the people I thought were really funny were just sort of in that world. And in Chicago. I started comedy in Chicago. We didn't really have like alt versus club scene. We just didn't really have a club scene because there was one club in the city and they didn't book us.

[Elders]

Zany's, baby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Zany's used to be a strip club.

[Elders]

You can feel it happens a lot. You go to a lot of comedy clubs. Like, you know, this used to be a strip club. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

A lot of poles.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

A lot of bad seats because you're stuck behind a pole. They went from really good seats to really bad seats. That was the seat you wanted. And now. Oh, I can't see. I can't see Jimmy Pardo's face. I only say that because I saw Jimmy Pardo at Zany's have one of the best sets I've ever seen in my life. When I first started doing comedy, you know, I was sort of. I would get Zany's would let me do guest sets, so. And I would just go and just watch. Sometimes they let me in and I remember seeing Jimmy pardo, their riff 45 minute set, and I was like, I don't think anybody's ever done better than that guy is doing right now. Him and Paul F. Tompkins, I saw do like fully rift sets that I was like, nobody's ever like, those have to be like the top 20 sets in the world of all time.

[Elders]

But there's also something, because I know that feeling of being a comedian who's in the guest spot zone that they'll let you. It's also the thing of like, you're so in love with the art form that you're like, there's something so magical about seeing that and being like, whoa, this is possible. And it's like, like, maybe I can do that someday. It's like the way you think, like, you know, when you first date someone, you're like, this is the most perfect person.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

I've ever met in my life. And then like now you probably would see these same sets. You're like, do some material. Yeah. You know, like, oh, write a joke, Pardo. But like at the time you're like, oh my God, it is magic.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I remember. Yeah. You know, you see like some like road dog in his 50s who's hammered and hitting on all the waitresses and you're like, someday.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This is a perfect life.

[Elders]

That was all that was. My only aim in life was to make 75 grand touring. Be like, if I, like, I could.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Do one nighters in the Midwest.

[Elders]

I'm not kidding. That was like my vision board was like, like just doing that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And so.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So in Chicago, all we had was the alt scene. And when I moved to and. And the reason I fell into the old scene is I remember Zach Galifianakis who was like, you know, I. This is before hangouts. Tell me he was. I mean, he's still the funniest guy. He came into town to do a show with Will Oldham, who's an incredible musician. Bonnie Prince Billy, he performs under. And he was like a big, like comedy fan. And this local, like, I think it was Drag City Records, they're not local, they're a big record label was doing a show and I was like, I gotta get on that show. So I opened for Zach, that show, and then Zach had me on tour with him, so I toured with Zach.

[Elders]

Oh, hell, yeah. That's awesome.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This was right around the events of the big six. So I had to cancel some shows. Cause I had to be like, hey, my girlfriend's currently in a coma, so just this weekend, find someone else. But I'm gonna make it. I'll be there next weekend. I remember when I finally was able to, like, hit the road with Zach again. He's like. I saw him, and he's like, how's Emily? I'm like, she's good. And he's like, and what she had. Is it contagious?

[Elders]

And so.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And then when I moved to New York, the people that, like, I remember. I went. There was a show called Invite Them up at Rafifi that Eugene Merman and Bobby Tisdale used to run. That was, like, the center of the comedy scene here. This tiny bar. You could go and see, like, people I'd seen on TV one after the other. I saw, like, Gaffigan there, you know, Aziz. All these people who are, like, already, like, well known. And Zach just happened to be there and introduced me to the booker, and I got booked on that show, like, a month after moving to New York. So I was really, really lucky. And then that's how I just got into the alt scene. So I never really did clubs until.

[Elders]

Makes sense, though.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

I mean, your sensibilities are. That's what was interesting to me. It was like kind of one of those. You know it. But I'm also pretty young, right? I'm talking. I was, like, 18. And it was like a real, like, oh, people are the same everywhere.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

This is just some dork from Pakistan who's like, you know, you're in your home. You're talking about, like. And this was pre. This is before being jacked. You really were a dork from Pakistan.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're, like, still a dog from.

[Elders]

But, you know, you look, you. It is the funny thing, because I'm watching the special, I'm like, I think this is the most jacked guy who's doing three straight minutes of puns. I don't think I've ever seen a guy with. With triceps like that that's doing cat pun wordplay for this long. You are blazing new ground.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Doesn't sound like a compliment, but.

[Elders]

No, it was. I was. Yeah. The special is fucking awesome, by the way. Go watch. It's on Hulu. Yeah. Thank you. I believe it's out. Yeah, we're not very professional here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's out December 19th or it's.

[Elders]

It's. Yeah, it's either about to be out or it's out.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right, right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

Get right.

[Elders]

You're at Thanksgiving, your annoying aunt is yapping. You know what'll take care of that? Some smooth twisted tea brewed with real iced tea. 5% alcohol by volume. No pesky carbonation to get in the way. You can guzzle that, that sucker down. It'll. No matter how much cranberry sauce is in your system, a delicious twisted tea will pair just right. So this holidays, here's what I want you to do, folks. Keep it twisted. Grab a refreshing twisted tea today and keep it twisted.

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[Elders]

But yeah, I did love the. Yeah, it was, it did strike me because it was like. And I didn't realize you didn't do. You just didn't do stand up for 10 years. You talked about that in the special.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, right around the big.

[Elders]

Which is crazy. I just like, I just assumed, you know, you weren't hitting it like you used to, but it's like it's crazy to me to think about not doing it for a decade.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, well, I didn't.

[Elders]

I just makes sense.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, you creatively satisfied doing other stuff and you know when we were shoot Silicon Valley, tj that night would be like, oh, what's the thing doing tonight? I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm gonna go to bed. I just didn't have that kind of energy and I didn't feel the need to do it. I was feeling like creatively satisfied doing what I was getting to do. And it was like a whole new world, you know, like acting and stuff. It was so different from Stand up and you know, going back to it. I went back in the actor writer strike because I was like, I gotta do something. That's why I started up again.

[Elders]

You pussies. You guys are broke. I'm gonna go fucking do a couple one nighters.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make hundreds of dollars. Watch me.

[Elders]

You're talking to a guy I just told you who just did the Greensboro Comedy Zone. So I know all about it, baby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that a good comedy town, Greensboro?

[Elders]

Oh yeah, the Mecca. They call it the Mecca of western North Carolina.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know what's cool though?

[Elders]

It literally is maybe the bottom four city in. I'm sorry, eastern North Carolina. Yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's, it's, it's, it is fun though. Like when I go to like these small towns and I'll just pop into. People are. Stand up is popular.

[Elders]

No, no, I.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Local comics are funny.

[Elders]

They are.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

No, that's, that's actually the reason I did. I was like, I felt like I was getting too far away from the essence of stand up because like these theater like I love theaters, but it's like, it's that grimy shit. It's being in a place that clearly was a strip club. Yes. You're next to your. The parking lot is like a business that's like. You just do vinyl flooring. You have, you have a huge warehouse in North Carolina and all you sell is vinyl flooring. It's like, like no way. That, like how is that? Yeah, it's all. You know that and you're, and you're sharing that. This is where I'm coming to do entertain people. Yeah, yeah. You know, across Marshalls or whatever.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, of course. Like a strip mall or like inside a mall. The comedy club inside a mall.

[Elders]

Those are brutal. But I've gotten real affection for the levity lives of the world. Yeah, you're like, you know what, let me go hit the Ferris wheel. That's also in this mall. Anytime a mall is like an ice rink, they have, they have a comedy club in there too. Yeah, let's go check out yard house.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Let's go.

[Elders]

Nice Yard House meal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, it's like you know, with the, with the, the high tops. Like everything's high tops. Like long high tops where you're sitting next to people. You don't know that vibe. Absolutely everything was a little too shiny. But, but because I, for me it was always. Even though I was doing the alt rooms, I was like, I want to do good in every kind of room. Cuz I would see Comedians in Al rooms. That I was like, you're very funny. You're only doing well in this room, though.

[Elders]

You wouldn't.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So for me, it was always like, that's why for me, it was always about, like, writing. Like, how short can I get my setups? How many punchlines can I get in a row? How many tags can I get? It was always, for me, like, the structure of a joke and having laugh density in there, like, the math of that was always very, very important to me. Yeah.

[Elders]

I also loved in the special, you made it very clear that for like, you were like, I'm not an actor doing this. I've been. Cause it's true. You usually have to, like, rape your way out of show business. And then you start doing comedy. That happens all the time where you're like, like, this guy's doing comedy. Why? And then you're like, let me do a quick Google. Ah, X allegations.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Vulture did a deep dive and found some.

[Elders]

It's always like, yeah, I didn't know this guy did stand up. And then you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Why is this guy actually kind of good at stand up?

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, I see. Right, right, right, right, right.

[Elders]

And so it's like you. It is very funny because you do have to make it clear because there's no dignified way from going to, like, movie star to stand up. You have to have already been grandfathered in his.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right, right, right.

[Elders]

Because if it's like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No. Yeah.

[Elders]

If you see fucking Austin Butler doing stand up, something bad, something catastrophic happened.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

To him back when, you know, all those stories were happening, which obviously. Great, great that all that happened.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There were some websites that I only know, like, oh, you had that one story and then you went under, like. But it sustained you for a year.

[Elders]

Of a me too think piece. That was really happening. That was. That was. That was happening a lot. That drove traffic. But it's true. It was like, guys who have no business doing standup are just all of a sudden, like, you know, at these. But it's also funny because you're like, he's not really moving that many tickets. He was on a huge show.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, that's the tricky thing.

[Elders]

It's. It's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You kind of, like, the audiences are a little different. Like, standup audiences are kind of different from movie audiences.

[Elders]

For sure. For sure.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And so you kind of. So when I was like, touring again, I was like, okay, how do reintroduce myself as a stand up? How do I tell people, like, oh, hey, I'm. I actually know how to do this.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And get those people to buy tickets.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is. That's super interesting. But it was true because I remember it was a surreal. I mean, I'm sure it was much more surreal for you, but it's like I really felt like I was on the ground floor of. Of like finding you as a comic and then you. You blowing up was like, holy, this is awesome. Like, it was one of my first, like, damn, that's one of my guys who's like now fucking big. Like the big sick was cool because it was like, all right, well, that was his personal story. And then you just kept doing. And Silicon Valley was awesome. Yeah. And it was very. It was like. I am fascinated by that. Where you're. Where it's like, did it feel fucking insane to just because 10 years no standup. Was it like non stop? Did you just feel like in the middle of like a little tornado? Because just. I'm on a much smaller scale of that shit. And I'm like, this is insane. I feel insane every day. Where like. Every day is like something bizarre in you. Yeah. And I can't imagine, like. Cause you got to the fucking, you know, shit just kept going crazy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I was very aware at the time. I was like, oh, a thing is happening right now. I have access to opportunities that I've not had access to. And I may not have access to these opportunities for a long time. Especially happens with comedy people where they get like a two years. I could name them totally. There's a little window and then it goes away. And you. You don't really get to control very much how long that window stays open because you get opportunities. You make the best decisions you can given the things. You know, like someone like your ghost asked you. That's amazing. It's out of your control, though.

[Elders]

That totally was where I was like. I told everybody. I was like, I'm done. I'm gonna fucking kill myself if I keep working. I need a year off.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And I made a list of people. That was hilarious. It was like, you know, he was on it. I'm like, I guess if Mark. I was like, I guess that. And Yorgo. Yorgo's one of those people. And then they called me. I was like, shut. I literally. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's lucky that you got. Not lucky. You deserve it. It's all great. But I could also imagine getting a call from someone who's not on the list. And you're like, they could have been on the list.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know what? I totally forgot to Put that guy on the list. I should probably go do this.

[Elders]

I'm like fucking the guy who did Rush Hour 2.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Scrolling. That was a banger. Rush Hour 2 was a banger.

[Elders]

Who was it? Brett Ratner. I'm like, brett Ratner. I gotta take Ratner. Go. Speaking of raped your way out of show business. I was like, I gotta take his call. He's on the come up. He's got.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's. I'm gonna be a part of the comeback.

[Elders]

Oh, Weinstein's producing something from jail. I think I could play a fat idiot in that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah.

[Elders]

I'll be a fat guy that Mel Gibson kills in one of his Republican revenge movies. Which are awesome. Shout out to Republican revenge movies dragged across concrete. Vince Vaughn bangers, dude. Cell block 99.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Anger that animates them, I think is what so good.

[Elders]

Dude, those movies are awesome. I love. It's like. Yeah. Yes. This is actually a great, like, vehicle for this anger.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And there's like a whole, like, there's like a history to that. Like Death wish and all those, you know, where they're just like killing gang members for very extra judicial ways.

[Elders]

I love it too, because they make. They go through pains to be like, he's not racist though. Like, they have like. He's a skinhead who has like black friends.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. He's nice to the coffee guy who's black. It's like the save the Cat. But yeah, it's tip the black.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They do a little tip to black in the. In the beginning and then you can just go kill a bunch of black people and it's fine.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why so. But yeah, it was anyway, great, great stuff. But yeah. I don't know. Do you?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I was very aware, you know, it was, it. It felt. I understood that it was crazy. But part of you. And I'm sure you had the. You've had this where you have to convince yourself it's not crazy so you could be like. Like, I should be here. I deserve to be here. That stuff. Not in an arrogant way, but just in a way so you don't fucking freak out and have panic attacks.

[Elders]

Oh, yeah, dude. My first. Like, I have to do a scene with Jesse Plemons. How fucking insane that is. I talked about it before, but I was like, there was takes where it took me like seven seconds to start my lines because I'm like, damn, this guy's fucking.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

When I saw that movie. What's the movie about? Like, the Civil War with him and Kirsten Jackson.

[Elders]

Civil War.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Civil War. It's not called Civil War.

[Elders]

It's not called Civil War.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That movie's called Civil War. Not the one with Captain America?

[Elders]

No.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

No, no, no, no.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Are we sure it's called Civil War?

[Guest Caller 1]

I just watched it a couple months ago.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's that name of the big bird that's yellow on Sesame Street?

[Elders]

The. The. You know, the movie about the ship, The Titan. It's like sailing the Titanic.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. What's the movie that's got Forrest Gump in it? Civil War.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I run into him here and there. He's such a nice guy. Kirsten Dunst is so nice. I'm not friends with them, but I run into them. But in that. He's like that. Got that scene where he's so scary and at some party, I want to go up to him and be like. Because he's so calm and normal and he's fucking terrifying. I want to be like, how did you do that? What was that? Because you're not screaming, you're not doing anything, and you're fucking terrified.

[Elders]

It's a quiet menace. Yeah. Because, you know, he's. It's just like, he's projecting how sure of himself he is in a way that's, like, truly terrifying. And it's. That's a hard thing to do.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's hard to.

[Elders]

The subtext of a guy being like, everything I say, you have to take seriously. Right. There is no bluffing.

[Guest Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Elders]

In fact, I'm way scarier.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Christoph Waltz in the beginning. Glorious Bastards, where we didn't know his work, and suddenly, like, he's speaking very politely.

[Elders]

Yeah. But I've never been more scared. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's going on?

[Elders]

And that was awesome, too, because it's like, we had no idea who that guy was. Some fucking German guy say, what the fuck is this? I was. Yeah. I was like. I thought Brad Pitt is gonna, like, where's Brad Pitt? Why are these two foreigners starting this movie? Why is this one Act Play. Yeah. And then very quickly, the gun started. Thank God.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Have you seen. There's a weird backlash now to Inglourious Bastards. Like, they call it, like, Jew propaganda and all this stu. It's crazy. I was just looking about it today. There's a big thing where they're like, oh, it's like. I saw. They called it Talmudic propaganda. It's like, wow. It's like you looked up a new word for this. Yeah, that is good. Racism.

[Elders]

It's also like, fellas, if I. I'm not trying to counsel racists. But it's like, leave, not let Nazis go. You know, you're not going to win that one. That's your low. That's your worst point.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

That is like, you couldn't even. We, like, if. Although to their credit, they're like, if we get Nazis approved.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right, we can run.

[Elders]

I think that's probably what's going on.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think that we can get a little. There's like, they've bifurcated. Like, they're like, all right. 5% of us are gonna work on this project. You guys are shooting the moon.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You guys. You guys are doing the Hail Marriage.

[Elders]

Gonna work.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's not gonna work, but what it's.

[Elders]

Buying the racist Powerball, I would say for.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's totally true. That's exactly right. 5% of you are gutting for it. You know, like, if you. It's not gonna work, but if it does, the other 95% got it easy.

[Elders]

All this vintage SS stuff in our closets, we could start wearing it, you know, it's good. Yeah, it is. It's fucking. I mean, that there's also.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What they do is then everybody else gets to be like, well, we're not that guy, of course.

[Elders]

No, no. That's a big problem. And it's like, the second. It's crazy we have to say this, but it's like. Like, I am against any media that speaks highly of Nazis.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right, right, right. I want to be clear on that.

[Elders]

But it's up that that is something.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Where you're like, they really are doing that. They're like, we're not. However, should they be getting married?

[Elders]

These two types of people, the, like, the openly saying rate, like, they're like. What we were joking about earlier about race mix.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They're literally saying the word race mixing has never been used in a good context.

[Elders]

No. And it's. It's. They literally unfroze it from 1964.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The Encino manned that back. They really did.

[Elders]

There's a lot of Encino going on.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Look at this. You thought this was for, like, video games and horror movies.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Yeah, that's. I. I haven't seen that particular one, but it doesn't surprise me.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, you know what? Emily was, like, big in the punk scene in North Carolina in, like, the 90s. And the punk scene has a big, like, white supremacist contingent. You know about this?

[Elders]

I knew. I thought of punks more as, like, they actually would fuck Nazis up. But I guess it was like, well.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Those Were most of them. But there was. There was like. And so she says she's has stories of like, you know, house parties where Nazis show up and then they fucking kick them out. Have you seen the movie Green Room?

[Elders]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That stuff is real. Like totally. The color coded laces. That's what I love about racist too. Is that like we gotta be color coordinated?

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, I know. There is. It is funny how like, like, like prim and proper some racists are. Yeah. Where they're just like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, you know, there was that thing that was happening 2016 or whatever where they had the Nazi haircut back and they were like, I don't even remember their names. Where like New York Times did profiles on them where they were like, this Nazi is actually really well dressed. Right. But they were always very well dressed.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Their uniforms are great.

[Elders]

Styling was never the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, looks good in that movie.

[Elders]

It's awesome. No, no, the, the. The iconography is really, really.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's a sharp silhouette.

[Elders]

It is good. Absolutely. And we could keep the silhouettes and leave the ideology. We could do that. I mean. Yeah, all the, all the insignias look cool.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's like that eagle thing. Whatever. I mean, yeah, don't leave this in. But swastika is a good looking symbol. That is good graphic design. A swastika is good graphic design. Yeah.

[Elders]

I mean, they did ironically, didn't they? Take it from. What is it?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, Hinduism, I think, where it's like flip and I think it's turned a little bit.

[Elders]

That's my favorite thing that some.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It actually means peace.

[Elders]

It's a symbol of peace. It's a symbol of peace when the scariest guy you've ever seen has it in the middle of his forehead.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right.

[Elders]

He's trying to be peaceful, you fucking idiots. Yeah, it is. It is fucking hilarious graphic design. You know, hopefully that stops. I'd love for this kind of weird white supremacist thing going on to end. That would be fucking awesome. But you know, I'm not betting on it. No, no, I'm not. You know, we'll see. Look again. Go back. Just make revenge movies.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, that's a good lane for you guys.

[Elders]

Death Wish is really like. Yeah. I mean, some of my favorite movies. You look at coat like cobra. I go back to. It's a complete fascist fantasy. It's incredible. The Stallone movie Cobra.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Are you. I had a poster of cobra in my room.

[Elders]

Cobra.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I feel like that movie's a little. Isn't his name in it like John Cobretti or Something like that.

[Elders]

His nickname was Cobra.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know what I love also? Where they made a big deal out of the name of the characters. Where, like, there were all these comedies in the 80s and 90s where the trailer was like, stan Lipsets has a problem.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know, absolutely. Or no. It'll be like, stan Lipset has the perfect life, a great life. You know what they really like? The full first name, last name being a big part of the campaign. Yeah, I missed that.

[Elders]

Commando. John Matrix.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

John Matrix.

[Elders]

They have some great names. Casey Ryback is Under Siege. Is Seagal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that right?

[Elders]

Yeah, dude. Casey Under Siege. Absolute banger. Of course, all of the. The other thing I liked about Seagal was like, his first three movies were all like, steven Seagal is marked for death. Steven Seagal is, I think, above the law. Steven Seagal. And there was one Under Siege. Yeah, yeah, Under Siege. And then what was the one we watched?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Steven Seagal is eating a lot.

[Elders]

I think it was Mark. Yeah, yeah. I think he was a chef.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And what was the one he was. Was that Under Siege?

[Elders]

That was Under Siege.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's a chef.

[Elders]

He's a chef.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I buy that.

[Elders]

And that's why, you know, he. He had to go there because he was too sick. He was too fucking awesome. He was too dangerous. But the Navy let him stay as a chef, and that's why they were like, well, just a chef. Who cares? But little did they know, that was no ordinary chef.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That guy's had a solid pivot, I would say in real life.

[Elders]

Absolutely.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's really gone.

[Elders]

He is interesting. He is kind of like a medieval figure where it's like, he's. He's going from like, like strong monarch to. He's going in the court. He's. Now he's in literally the court of Vladimir Putin. He went from being like a. A world famous entertainer in America to like, that's like an old fashioned thing where it was like a famous entertainer would go to different kings and be like, will you give me a little palace? I feel like that's like a classic.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's literally in the court factors. Yeah.

[Elders]

And he does propaganda for him. Talks about how fucking cool he is. Yeah, I, you know, I respect him for that.

[Guest Caller 1]

He.

[Elders]

He knows what he's doing. And I'm still. Look, we watch a lot of seagull around here. Have. Do you think you'll ever get. Because you've kept you. You know, you stay. You stay jacked. Do you think you'll go action movie? Like, I know you've Done like, you know, like, I mean, you've played the. The not jacked guy. Stuber.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I played the not jacked guy who's thrust into.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, Jacked. But now it's like, you know, have you thought about going back?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I would like to. I'm actually trying to lose weight and. And muscle some because, you know, the hard thing is I am jacked. But I don't have the vibe of a jack. Like the meanest comment I've ever gotten. Because it's true. Someone was like, well, his voice didn't get abs. I was like, yeah, that is true. I don't have the vibe. I have a vibe of the vibe of a dork from Pakistan.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah. But it is cool. And I do. And you. That's another. Not to spoil the special, but one of my favorite lines was just like, I'm the first guy who ever got shit for getting jack. Which is so. I was like, you're so right. No one has ever. I mean, look at my comments. They're like, you know, fat piece of whatever. It's like if to get jacked and people getting pissed off is so.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's like such a. Yeah, I do talk about it. It's so crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

You're trying not to be.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, there is, you know, listen, I don't want to get into it, but there is a little bit of like, stay in your lane.

[Elders]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It thinks it can do this. Of course it can't.

[Elders]

Well, also, I think part of it is like. Like no one thinks about South Asian guys as jacked guys.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think that's part of it here. I mean, if you look at Bollywood, those guys.

[Elders]

But here is one of the greatest movies of all time.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

If you like that, I. I could give you a list. I would like. Awesome. I would love to crush Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. Because I grew up watching them. I still watch him.

[Elders]

Yeah. I love. I'm fascinated by that guy who's like the most famous guy on earth who's like. Yeah, yeah. And you can see the aura is unbelievable. Like I don't know anything about him. You just see a still image of him. You're like, who's that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That head of hair is like.

[Elders]

That's like a piercing eye.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. And I've been a big fan of it. What's cool about him is that he started off, he. He started off doing like character y movies. So he did a rom com and then he did this thing that nobody was doing. This is back like 80s 90s that nobody was Doing where the actors were like good guys and the actors were bad. There were actors who were good guys, actors who were bad guys. And he did two back to back movies as a leading romantic lead who suddenly did like two psychopaths. And that put him in a whole other category. And nobody was doing that, you know, like Tom Cruise, other than Magnolia. Never really never. Never played a bad guy.

[Elders]

Oh, Collateral.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's a good movie.

[Elders]

Yeah, the one of the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Collateral is one of the best movies.

[Elders]

And you see Tom, you're like, yes. You're like, holy fuck. Tom Cruise is the man. That was the beginning for me of like, I always liked Tom Cruise, but I saw that, I was like, he's the fucking man.

[Guest Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And I wish that hair, great hair. Such great hair. And I'm kind of, I'm very hopeful, like he's in that, in a RITU movie. I'm really hopeful that after Mission Impossible he does some interesting, he does some pivot. I think he will, he's, he loves movies too much not to.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Intensity and presence. By the way, the big sick has a lot of driving scenes of her in the back, me in the front. Yeah, those are in there because of Collateral. Because I love those scenes with Jamie Foxx and Jada Pinkett. I was like, this look looks so cool. Totally, totally stole it from that where I was like, yes.

[Elders]

That thing should have had a postcard of you like doing Madison Square Garden.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'll go here with big like rubber bands around it, big cab driver rubber bands. Where are they getting those rubber bands? Those are sturdy. Yeah, yeah, no, totally. 100% from the. And I said it to like, I was like, I know car scenes are a pain in the ass to shoot, but this thing where you can look at her through the rearview mirror and they look through, you just see the eyes back and forth. It's so exciting.

[Elders]

It gives you an opportunity to act as the per because like you're not face to face with them. And so there are like, you get private moments in the middle of a.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Conversation, look up, they look at you. It's very exciting. And it is 100% from collateral.

[Elders]

Interesting.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

That Tom Cruise is interesting because it's like he did do Mission and I love the Mission Impossible movies, but it's like, I, I, it's like you kind of give so much of your. He like, like that was like over a day. Like the first one came out in the 90s, right? Yeah, the Palma, it was like De Palma. And now it's like, yeah, 90s. It's like 20 years. Which is, Is there a part, like, is there a part of you that's like, man, because you were signing, you were clearly going for. It was going to be like, oh, this will be my. If like the Marvel takes off. Because I saw you talking about it where you're like, this is my life for a decade.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Is there a party that's like, like, that seemed like a lot like, are you kind of happy you're not in the like.

[Guest Caller 1]

No.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah. By now I'd be in like four Marvel movies. What a bummer. Oh my God. This guy's movies have made 2 billion at the box office. But you know what?

[Elders]

Money.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. With my luck, that would be the backlash of that too. Like this guy's movies are making, making too much money. Fuck that guy. No, because you know, if you do one of those a year, the rest of the year you could do whatever you want. And suddenly, you know, I can make like 10 million dollar movies that with my name get made just, you know, like you could like, like look at Sebastian Stan. Right?

[Elders]

Like, he's a great point.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Does great Marvel movies and then there's really interesting stuff on the side.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There is no, there is no downside to being successful, Scavros.

[Elders]

I'm, I'm trying to convince. I'm really trying to stop, stop getting more like. I'm just like. I was really hoping you'd be like, yes, it's a prison.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh my God. Yeah.

[Elders]

I'm so much happier now.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, that would have been great. Are you kidding me? Oh my God.

[Elders]

That's a good point. The Sebastian Stan comp is a good point. Yeah. But I do, I don't know, sometimes I want. I do think like some real talents have given a lot of their lives.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Sure. 100. And I think there are people in those movies who just don't like those kinds of movies.

[Elders]

That's a good point. And so that's probably a comic book guy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I love those movies. I love comic book movies. I love, you know, I love like those big action things. I was watching the new Jurassic park on the plane on the way over and I was loving it. I couldn't finish it because the plane was landing.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I wouldn't need it to take a nap.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like you're really committed to these kinds of movies. I'm asking on my phone. No, no, no, no.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I feel like on a. I do watch Emily watches things on her phone. I never do. I don't watch things on my laptop. It's always that. The only exception is airplanes.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I watch. But I do think you really locked in on an airplane.

[Elders]

I agree. I think that's a good viewing experience. It is. Especially if you're doing something like. Like a. More like a. Comedy's great because it's about the writing. It's about the vibe. Yeah. One of my friends was like, I was telling the story about how I was. Was in London and I had like a week. I had a couple days off, and they happened to be playing Space Odyssey like, on film on like 70 millimeter. I was like, holy. And I had seen it, but it was like seeing it like that. I was like, dude, have you ever seen, like, you should go see it. He was like. He's like, I tried watching it on a plane once.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No.

[Elders]

And I can't think of a worse movie.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, you can't do that on a plane.

[Elders]

It's all about the spectacle.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And it just like you're immersed in it. I like movies like that I feel like are a problem on a plane. But a nice, low budget action movie, a nice comedy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

Those are fun on it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah.

[Elders]

Yeah. Some super, like a superhero movie. You're not that into. It's like, that's always fun because they're perfect. They're very entertaining.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I cannot wait to finish Jurassic park on the back. You know, what's your. Okay, let's we both. You love movies.

[Elders]

I do. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They're my favorite thing in the world. One of my favorite moviegoing experiences, you just reminded me, was not that long ago at the Arc Light the Dome, which is now closed, which is like one of the best. Best theaters in the. In in the country. I went and I watched Close Encounters of the third kind.

[Guest Caller 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And I was vibrating afterwards. I was like, this is gonna ruin the next five, like, things I write. Because then you're like, oh, it should all be like that. And it can't all be like that.

[Elders]

Yeah. And there really is something to the experience of. I do think, unfortunately, movies are gonna get a little more niche, like the cinema. Going to an actual theater, unfortunately, is just not. It's gonna be. It's gonna be like. Like being a cinephile now feels like when I was growing up being into, like, records, you know, I mean, for like, young kids, it's like almost like a retro thing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

But I will say I hope that at least one silver lining is that people go in on seeing classics like that starts coming back more because it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is coming back more because people are going to see them. I saw Batman Returns in the theaters like, a couple months ago here in New York. That movie.

[Elders]

Yeah. Is so incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Weird.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That is like Penguin is the lead of that movie. It's his story. Total actor.

[Elders]

Batman is not.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Batman is barely enough.

[Elders]

Barely. Like, they put him in the. At the very beginning because it's like, all right. But then he's not.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's not really in it. It's all Catwoman.

[Elders]

She's awesome. She's so hot. She's so incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I love the scene where Danny DeVito is, like, just giving, like, a speech to an amphitheater of penguins.

[Elders]

Yeah. He's a Jesse.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He does make some good.

[Elders]

They like talking back.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I also love the fish.

[Elders]

A real fish in front of some dude.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's when Max Shrek, who is Christopher Walken, brings him out because he's like, this guy's got to run for mayor and win. And they bring him down and he doesn't know he's going to be at like, this big party. It's like he's like coming out like, this is the new candidate. And he's literally eating a raw fish with black goo dripping from his mouth. And everyone looks at him. He's like, yeah, we should vote for that guy.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What a great movie.

[Elders]

A pretty. A pretty subtle metaphor.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know, what.

[Elders]

For politicians.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know what's interesting that I hadn't thought of, obviously movie. You know, it's. We're in like a tough time right now. But someone said to me, they were like, there's always. It's back and forth in terms of, like, commercial stuff that's not good and then, like, artsy stuff that is so like the.

[Elders]

The.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

All the movies in the 70s, like, you know, we were, you know, Taxi.

[Elders]

Driver, that whole, like, new Hollywood stuff.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah. Was a reaction to. Musicals were the biggest thing for a long time.

[Elders]

Right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And so that was a reaction to that. And then the 80s and the 90s with all the action movies we're talking about, were kind of a adjustment from.

[Elders]

Those that was grounded.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes. Became over the top. And then in the late 90s, 2000s, there were all those indie movies that got big, which was a reaction to that. So like, you know, Swingers and Little Miss Sunshine, all those movies. So right now we're in like the superhero big spectacle phase. And hopefully. And I love those movies. There'll be a reaction to that where we get more like, you know, the stuff that Yorgos makes and that kind of Stuff. Some sort of reaction to that will happen, and hopefully those movies will. Will do well and be interested.

[Elders]

Yeah. I mean, my. My worry is that it's just such a. Just as an industry, it's shrinking, unfortunately. I do think my theory and my hope, because this is kind of where I'm at, is like, I think hopefully somebody just starts letting people make $5 million movies, $3 million. Like somebody just starts now making 10 of those instead of making one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I could not agree.

[Elders]

$80 million thing. Make fucking 10. $8 million movies.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I could not agree one of them.

[Elders]

Is going to be a hit. And so that's my hope. And I also feel like a lot of. I feel like I see a lot of people that kind of are contemporaries of mine that, like, a lot of Internet people are. Do want to move on to movies more than they want to do TV in an interesting way. I think a lot of people. It gives them kind of more or. From my perspective, I don't want a job. TV is a job. Yeah. Movie is like a cool project you work on for.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You do like three months, and then you're done.

[Elders]

Yeah. Yeah. And even if you're writing, let's say it's a year of your life, a year and a half, it's like you're laser focused. I feel like a lot of people have come of age looking at shit like that. So I hope that the big swing is like, you know, sorry, Baby's a great example. Have you seen that movie?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No. Emily saw it.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She loved it.

[Elders]

And. And it's like, that's someone who I knew from, like, Internet. Internet videos she had. Great. Or they. I'm not sure. I'm not exactly sure. I don't want to be fucking offensive. I think they. But like, Ava Victor, like, just was making Internet videos that were fun, but you. And you could see there was something to the creative output. But that. To make that your first feature, it was like I was like, holy fuck.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

This world of crazy sway. I mean, the other.

[Elders]

And I hope there's a lot of. I don't know. That's my guess of, like. Cause, you know, I hope that happens. I want to make, like, a movie that's made a little movie. But it's like, I'd love to make, like, a something with a little more money.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

But that's pretty small. And like, you know, that's what I'm trying to do.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I have a movie that I'm gonna direct.

[Elders]

Hell, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Looking like I'll get to do it. Next year, make it as cheap as possible. You know, I think the advantage of movies to TV is with movie, you know what you want to say, story you want to tell. You're like, this is the beginning, middle, and end. I want to watch these characters go on this journey. It ends right here. With tv, it's a lot of like, all right, season two. What do we do now? You gotta, like, keep coming up with stuff.

[Elders]

Well, particularly the way America does tv, where it's like. Like Greek tv. Like, watching that growing up, we got satellite pretty young. And then even you see it, like, London, you know, British stuff. It's like, those are. A lot of them have ends. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Inside, it's like, I would do six episodes a season.

[Elders]

And now America. Not only that, but it's like they've. They. We've started pretending we're doing limited series, and they just be like, why the Is there so many seasons of White Lotus? Part of the thing was, it was a limited series. Series task I love, but it would, like. I would kind of be pissed if they came back because it's like, you lied to me about this being one story.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

You know what I mean? It's like. And I don't know, that's because a lot of TV in America is like, all right, let's just keep selling fucking commercial. Like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, I mean, you know, when you pitch a show now, you have to tell them what's gonna happen in, like, season four and five. And it feels.

[Elders]

Which is hilarious because it's like, you're not letting me get to season four. I'm getting. Getting canceled. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

If we get to one, it's a home run. What are you talking about? It's.

[Elders]

It's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It is. It's all. It's so weird. Like, so, you know, you go and pitch a show and you have to write a bible that tells you what's happening. Like season four and five. And it's all. Feels so, like, made up anyway. You're like, I have a new TV show. It's gonna be this. It's so stupid. And then to be like. And then seven years from now, this is what's gonna be happening on it. It's all.

[Elders]

Which blow my brains out. Out. I have to know what I'm doing in eight years. That seems.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, you just have to prove that you could.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And then you.

[Elders]

You just have to lie till they give you money.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like we were talking about before we started. Nobody knows what they're doing.

[Elders]

Nobody know. No one knows. Yeah. No. Least of all our callers. Great segue, elders. Why don't we do something? We. We have a man with a wealth of life experiences, and I think it's time that we, you know, see what he has to say to our bedraggled, our lost callers.

[Guest Caller 2]

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

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[Guest Caller 3]

What's up, Stav? Eldest guest. So my issue is back in high school, one of my best friends. He's part of our whole friend group. I slept with his little sister.

[Elders]

How little?

[Guest Caller 1]

He's like she was in middle school.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean it's high school, so any little is getting close.

[Elders]

Little stuff in high school. I hope he graduated, you know what I mean? But let's let him finish.

[Guest Caller 3]

And from that point on, we haven't talked at all. That has been about about eight years holy now and he still will not talk to me. The friend group is basically split where wow, they'll either hang out with him or they'll hang out with me. But we haven't all hung out together ever since this happened. And back in high school when it happened and he found out, I apologize.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I like the passive use of it happened. Yeah, yeah, you did it.

[Elders]

That. You know, like how a police. Is a police bullet struck a child.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's exactly that. Yeah. This person died in an altercation.

[Elders]

Oh, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They had a heart attack.

[Guest Caller 3]

You know, maybe it wasn't the best apology.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So did you do anything?

[Elders]

Oh, man.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Probably lose the word. Maybe that sentence.

[Elders]

That's awesome. Sorry if I just. Sister dude not making.

[Guest Caller 3]

Didn't do anything. And even over the years, I've seen him a couple times and one time he was drunk. We were at a party and he saw me and he tried to start a fight with me, but nothing really happened.

[Elders]

Awesome. It's on site because you fucked.

[Guest Caller 3]

But anyway, I'm kind of wondering if there's anything I can do to mend the relationship, at least enough so that our whole friend group cares and hang out again.

[Elders]

Friend group.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know what?

[Guest Caller 3]

Any advice that you guys have would be helpful.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're like, out of high school long enough that phrases like friend group should not be. It's time to move on.

[Elders]

Well, yeah. This is insane because he's like, all right, it happened in high school. So we're gonna say he was in high school. I'm gonna say yes, exactly. Hopefully I'm gonna say he's 17. The little sister is. She got held back a grade. She's a 16 year old sophomore. We're just gonna say that for our peace of mind. Right. We don't. Let's not get too much mad off the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's say this happens when this guy's 17, eight years later, that he is 25.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And he's still. Your high school friend group is still hanging out. Not to be. Not to call you a fucking loser, but you got bigger issues. The fact they were talking about a hookup from high school school as a 25 year old. As a guy who's been out of college, ostensibly. You know, if you even went to college, you're. You're out of it for three to four years. It's like, yeah, you're an adult. This is crazy. The problem is not that you fucked like your friend's little sister or whatever. The problem is that you are letting. This is like a guy who keeps talking about how good he was at football in high school. You're just stuck in being in high school. It's not a real problem, it seems.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

To me, and I don't want to generalize. It feels like a little bit of a small town vibe, probably.

[Elders]

I agree.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Which. And I'm, you know, Emily's from a small town, and it's interesting to go back. Like, we're in our 40s now. We go back and they never stopped hanging out with. From like. So now they've been hanging out for 30 years. It's so much baggage.

[Elders]

I mean, look, we literally went to preschool together, but. But we both moved together. Like, we left.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, I'm not saying this, but I.

[Elders]

Know what you mean. This. This makes more sense in the context of. Of small town where, you know, you didn't. Nobody goes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're running into each other at Fuddruckers.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah. Still holding on, you know, Fuddruckers.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's time to move on, find.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah. Go to Ruby Tuesday. You're. Now you have to go to Ruby Tuesdays now you're out of Fuddruckers. Elvis, what do you think?

[Guest Caller 1]

I. I said, I think the problem is too. It's not just that. It's not that, like, necessarily that they're hanging out with their high school crew still, but it's like, like, the problem is this guy has made up his mind. He hates you. He, like, hasn't talked to you for eight years. It's not like, you know, you're not going to bury the hatchet now. He's, like, moved on.

[Elders]

That's more time than you were friends.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Eight years when you started 17.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You've been enemies longer than you've been friends.

[Guest Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Elders]

To him, he hates you more than. Yeah. He spent and he's not budging. And it's like, also. So you're this. Yeah. It's like, I don't know what to tell you, buddy. Anything to mend. No, no.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Also, what's in demand. Yeah.

[Elders]

The other thing is, like, what happened because he said he slept with his sister. It's like, what I have. We haven't heard her mentioned once.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, I know, exactly. She's just bad.

[Elders]

Like, is there more to this? Like, was she in love with you? And you were like, I just kind of want to get my dick sucked. Yeah, I don't care. Like, there's more to this.

[Guest Caller 1]

He's like, she got pregnant. I made her use her babysitting money to get an abortion.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But I drove her.

[Elders]

I drove her. I didn't even ask for gas. And like. Yeah, it's like, there. I think there is more to this story. It's like, what happened to the sister? Were you, like, dated? Because it's like, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What did she. How does she feel about all of them?

[Guest Caller 1]

Totally.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, is she pissed at a brother for Being upset at the guy that you hooked up with, like she's like a non factor through this whole thing.

[Elders]

I don't like that's the part of this. That's what's making me not totally sympathetic to you is like you haven't mentioned her at all. She's just a pawn in this friendship game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh great, I fucked this girl and now I don't get to smoke blunts and watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Roy. It's like, what. What happened to her, dude? Like so I don't know. Either way though, it's. This guy doesn't give a fuck. He fucking hates you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's over.

[Elders]

And by let. Maybe let this be a. You also didn't really do anything wrong as long as you treated her well.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And whatever the age gap is and.

[Elders]

Yeah, exactly. That's right. We are. We are going under the assumption that you. You. They were Irish twins. He was a year older than Irish twins. She's a month younger than.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The phrase little sister is tough. Little sister tough to hear.

[Elders]

Throwing it around his little sister in high school is a brutal sentence.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Little sister, not younger sister.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Little sister sister. You know his sister. Yeah.

[Elders]

But yeah, it's. This is kind of a fool.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You think the phrase little sister factored into the apology that he thinks maybe wasn't good? I bet it did.

[Elders]

He's like, I bought her some more. Some squishmallows. Why are you being so weird about this? Like, yeah, there are some very key factors that we're actually not sure we can even.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

We ate candy. Candy cigarettes afterwards. Yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

I offered her a Turkish blue. She didn't have any candy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I got her Hawaiian Punch afterwards.

[Elders]

He was mad. She was too hyper. Cuz I fed her all this sugar.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She wouldn't go to sleep afterwards.

[Elders]

So. Yeah, dude, I don't know. Eight years is just. This is. It's so over.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's over in.

[Elders]

In a. To a crazy degree. And yeah, this is a weird reason to have to start a new life. But also the friend group maintaining this fractured. You guys are living in like you have. The. The harder thing is you have frozen your high school dynamics in carbonite here. You have made it so that you. None of you can grow up.

[Guest Caller 3]

Up.

[Elders]

Because this is some kind of. That you do when you're 20. A friend group doesn't hang out with one doesn't get custody of a different friend. Yeah. For in your mid-20s. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

People just go grow the up.

[Elders]

Yeah. You gotta. You Gotta leave. You've been exiled. Basically.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I could not im. All I wanted to do was get away from high school.

[Elders]

Yeah, totally. And you have made. You have ensured that you are stuck in high school forever. And this is a big thing. It's like, this is a good lesson for you to learn. It's like, yeah, sometimes you up and sometimes the blowback you don't necessarily deserve. But instead of stewing over it, move on with your life. Start something different.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Elders]

You know, hopefully again, we. Are you under the assumption that you didn't do anything heinous here and if you didn't just move on, it's over it. Dude. It's like you're never. This guy's never going to be your friend again. And by the way, as long as you treated her well, whatever. He's being completely ridiculous.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, there is that thing of like, you know, guys have with their, like, sisters and stuff where it's like, I have to protect her honor, which is a whole other problematic thing.

[Elders]

Totally.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But also, that's not the guy who called us. This is the guy who called us.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And yeah, it's time to move on.

[Elders]

Time to move on. Hilarious. Yeah, I really hope. Anyway, next question.

[Guest Caller 4]

Hi, Starvie baby. Hi, eldest high esteemed guest I'm calling.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What if she's like my older brother's friend, me, and it ruined their group.

[Elders]

And I'm just trying to get some dick again.

[Guest Caller 4]

I'm calling with a sexual question.

[Elders]

Nice.

[Guest Caller 4]

My husband has a number of different illnesses. Just chronic pain, TMJ issues. So eating is like, really strenuous for him. You know, it's just kind of hard in general. He's also on like, antidepressants. That's also like, hard.

[Elders]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Guest Caller 4]

Anyways, I, like, want to initiate sex in a way that's like, not as physically taxing on him. I don't want him to feel emasculated. It's to ask him, like, hey, can I just like, you just lay there and I just use you? Like, I guess kind of hot, but like, like, I just want to know if there are ways of that are like, less strenuous on the male body. I know you're a sexual dynamo, but.

[Elders]

I wouldn't know, sister. I'm giving 110%. Every time I'm throwing my back out.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm leaving nothing on the floor.

[Elders]

I'm playing like a 16 seed versus Duke in the NCAA. This is my only time. This is the only time I'm being televised.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I got to.

[Elders]

So I really got to make it count.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's right.

[Elders]

So I wouldn't know. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

If I got a contract. It's from this one game.

[Guest Caller 3]

Sure.

[Guest Caller 4]

You have times when you just, like, want to chill out and let the girl do all the work.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Guest Caller 4]

That's awesome.

[Elders]

Nothing wrong with that.

[Guest Caller 4]

So that's my problem. I, I, I do that as often as he'll let me. But, you know, I would like to get my nut as well. Of course. And like I said before, I know him giving me head. It just hurts with his tmj. And yeah, it's chronic pain issues.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know, I like that. This guy's problem is his mouth hurts, but his dick doesn't work.

[Elders]

Yeah, I know. That's a tough combo. I at least could rely on my mouth for the many years I was too fat for my dick to ever get over 65% hard. Which we're out of now, folks. Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

We're at 100.

[Elders]

Well, let's not get crazy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know, about 190s.

[Elders]

We're, we're, we're hitting the 90s with regularity.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is there more?

[Elders]

No, I think there's a little more, but that's just.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, so there's a lot to parse through there. First of all, I totally do sympathize with her and with him, obviously, stuff. I mean, here's. This is maybe not the right thing to say, because I do if someone, you know, if my wife to me was like, I don't want you to do anything. Yeah, I'm going to take care of it. Love that. Obviously. Very exciting.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There are medical interventions that could help because it seems like he has issues with because of his antidepressants that he's got issues with ed.

[Elders]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There are medications I just can't bust.

[Elders]

I feel like a lot of people on Lexapro, whatever, just can't nut.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But, but the thing is, and there's no shame in this, doctors will give you medication that will help with libido, that'll help with ed. Like, that stuff is exists, and you just got to be. The hard thing is, I would assume that if you don't have a libido, you're not missing anything. So there's kind of like nothing that you think you need to fix. But there are medications that help with all of that tmj. You know, there's stuff you could do to help help that people get, like, Botox injections in their jaw to, like, relax it. A lot of TMJ comes from Stress and stuff. There's like stress that you could. Stuff you could do to lessen your stress. Yoga, all this stuff. You know, there are medical things that you can encourage him to do that would take. That would. That would, I think, alleviate some of this stuff.

[Elders]

Yeah, you could do that. I'm saying, you know, maybe you get a sex swing and he pushes you on it like you're a little kid where it's like like the, the George Clooney in Burn after Reading sex swing. You know, he could just kind of push her on and off and it. Can you, you know, you could do that. Kumail's like gets real like medical advice. I'm like, all right, what kind of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Toys can we get swinging like a little kid?

[Elders]

Yeah, but we get each.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

We each have our lens.

[Elders]

Can he have. Okay, for like, what about those like vibrators that like he can control from of his phone? He could just be lounging and just put the intensity up, you know what I mean? Like, I honestly think this guy needs to take a mech suit approach to where it's like, let's get as many sex toys in the mix as possible. Whatever you can like, you know, put a, put a vibrating on him while he's just laying there. Yeah, let him man a dildo. Let him do. I think that's he needs to look at himself as iron man, you know.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And he's like, this is just a starting point.

[Elders]

Yeah, this.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What can you layer on top of this?

[Elders]

Yeah. If she wants to get his. Get it. And also I think that can make him feel like he's kind of in the mix a little more, you know, instead of just laying there. Cuz I do think yes, right. Someone.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It is a little emasculating to be like, just lay there.

[Elders]

Exactly. Like, is that awesome every once in a while for somebody to be like, lay back. I'll. I'll do everything. It's like, yeah, but it's also like he might want to fucking.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Really? He.

[Elders]

Maybe he's sad because he can't the way he dreams of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And I bet. I think that's part of it. I think he feels like he's not good at. So he doesn't want to fuck. So he's not good at fucking. So he doesn't want to fuck.

[Elders]

It feels like it's like a cycle cycle. So anything get him to get him back in the zone, I think like, yeah, let it, you know, introduce him. I really look at it as like, like get some help, you know, with some vibrators. And some fucking wild shit. Get crazy with it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Cause I think a big thing with sex obviously, is intimacy, is how you're. You're connecting with your partner in a deep way that nobody else is. Obviously, you know, there's like, romance and stuff to it, but there's also, like, sex can be vulnerable. So I think that's what she obviously wants to get her nut, as she said. But there's also like a whole other thing that goes off the table that really can hurt relationships. I truly believe. And you know, I've got friends who are in all kinds of poly situations right now and stuff.

[Elders]

Not going to work.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't think it works.

[Elders]

It's cheating. It's like approved cheating, which is great, but I have no problem with it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And it just isn't sustainable.

[Elders]

Exactly. I. I don't. I don't really believe.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't think you could do it.

[Elders]

Other than gay guys. They tip my hat to them. They got it figured out, whatever they did. The gay dudes are crushing. Like, my gay friends. Like, you talk to some of my gay friends about the concept of cheating and they laugh at you. Yeah. Like, it's like. Like it's the way we talk to little kids who are stressed about Santa Claus where they're like, cheating's not real. Like, to them, it's like, you can't cheat. It's like, anyway, whatever. But I know what you mean. It's like so many people try and figure it out by some outside shit.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And I think, by the way, it can be fun if a couple is into that. If they want to. If they want to dabble, whatever. If you want to. I've said many times my dream would be be if. If I marry a bi lady. And every once in a while, we.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Get to every once in a while.

[Elders]

Together as a team, building opportunity.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right. I think that's exactly it. I feel like a sexless couple. Sexlessly romantic couple I truly believe cannot survive.

[Elders]

I agree.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I think it is important. I'm glad that she's, like, connected. I think it's important. Yeah.

[Elders]

And. Yeah. So I think that's.

[Guest Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Be connected. And look, have I was. I mean, I had crazy, like, a year of my life where I was addicted to every substance. I was fat as fuck.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Just like, what substances we talking?

[Elders]

We're talking. I mean, mostly weed, pills.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Do you still smoke weed?

[Elders]

I'll smoke a little weed. That's the one that stuck around. But, like, you know, it's the.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I assume of all the stuff it's the least harmful.

[Elders]

Least harmful. But it just gets me in a weird.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Does it lose you? Does it hurt? Motivation and stuff hurts motivation.

[Elders]

I also eat like a motherfucker and it's just so easy to layer stuff on top of it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like.

[Elders]

Like, you know, I start smoking weed to go to sleep. That's how it always starts. Sure. And then I have to kind of up the ante and that's where like Xanax or like, you know, and then you're just taking fucking, you know, hydrocodones and shit like that. And they're awesome. But you know, I would be eating like shit, smoking weed, taking a couple, you know, downers. I was not an upper guy. Although I would take some Adderall. I guess. I did actually do a little Adderall. I think that's kind of where the pills also started. It was like the balancing act which famously works out really well for obese comedians. Upper. An upper downer combo works out for everybody. Everybody. Dude Works out for everybody. And. And I was a lot. Because I was just. I had such an like addicts mindset. And yes I. My dick like barely worked in those times. But it was about. So it's the. What I'm. The point I'm trying to illustrate is that it's about I still like animalistically needed to fuck. So you know, even if I'm just like finger popping someone like he's got. It's. It's the will that we need to. To instill in him again is basically what I'm saying.

[Advertisement Voice]

Right.

[Elders]

Make him feel like. Because like against all like think of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yourself as a sexual being.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's like gotten that he's out.

[Elders]

So anything you can do to kind of make him feel that way.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Call him hot.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And that even the like all that stuff.

[Elders]

That's why I'm saying the like. Like the you know, vibrator or the like making him feel like he's in control.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And I feel like if his dick and mouth doesn't work, I think a.

[Elders]

Lot of do it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Men feel inadequate with vibrators. Vibrator stuff. So I think that's another thing to get over. Like you know, you're. You're a couple experiment go nuts. It can be really, really exciting. Bring other in. You know, like see, see, see what works. Because we're so used to seeing now porn where it's just people really hard. We don't see like all the other stuff that's. That's possible. The only thing that changes is the number of people involved. Whereas one on one.

[Elders]

Really there's of course dick and the number of people.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'll tell you man, I know that the world is in a bad place right now, but I feel porn is it needs to calm the down.

[Elders]

I kind of agree. I did like I stumbled upon a video of the guy with a little dick and it actually made me feel awesome cuz I was there needs to.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Be like there needs to be a category on pornhub or whatever that's like relatable normal dicks. Yeah, yeah yeah. Total, totally totally.

[Elders]

But yeah, good luck. Hopefully he's busting pretty soon. And more importantly, you're also busting. But yeah, take some of what we said to heart. What else we got Little Eldest VRBO.

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

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[Guest Caller 3]

What'S up Stavi Baby Eldest Esteemed guest Question for you about a very loving but overbearing father in law. So my wife's parents come and stay with us periodically to help out with the kids. Most recently they came because we were having our second kid and so they came to stay and look after our 3 year old while we were in the hospital. My wife is giving birth. That's nice and I love them. I just want to preface this with like they're really great people. I feel grateful for them which makes this kind of a sensitive situation. But her dad is just like he has no boundaries at all. He takes over the house when he comes. He won't sleep in the guest room with his wife I guess because he snores, but the house isn't very big, and so he ends up sleeping on the couch, which means no one else can really be in there.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What?

[Guest Caller 3]

He completely takes over the kitchen. He has, like, he brings, like, his entire pantry.

[Guest Caller 4]

It's like.

[Guest Caller 3]

Like canned goods, like, all over the counters. And he cooks all this food like it's all love, you know, he wants to, like, he wants to create that family, that sense of home, but it's like he makes food that, like, no one wants to eat. Like, it's always like, mystery meat. And like, there's a cultural component here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Here we go.

[Guest Caller 3]

They're Mexican, and I love the culture.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And I. I like.

[Guest Caller 3]

I say I love them, but, like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'll tell you this just to hit pause when people say. Whenever you're. Someone is saying I love the culture. Yeah, it's a very complicated. Yeah, you've already lost the argument.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Caller 3]

But, like, you know, you're eating something, there's always like, a knuckle or, like, something in it. Or he makes food he doesn't like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I love all cultures, but the ones who are eating knuckles.

[Elders]

Yeah, I do love. This doesn't help for me because I love the weird.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You love a weird. Like, I'm traditional and I'm come from a culture where we're eating knuckles and brains and all of it, you know?

[Elders]

No, I. I'll eat a brain. Like, when I go to a taco place, I like to try the. The cabeza and the lengua. Give me the head and the tongue. Yeah, I'm interested in that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Last caller wanted, too.

[Elders]

Yeah, that's my. That's my taco order. And that's my sex order, too. Give me some.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Give me some tong head, please.

[Elders]

Yeah, I'll take them both. Served by a Mexican lady, too.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I'm basically like, I'll get a chicken breast.

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Guest Caller 3]

It doesn't, like, cover things with saran wrap. And so anyway, like, the refrigerator is, like, so packed that, like, literally I can't put bottles in it. Like, I'm doing 2am feedings and there's no space to put the bottle. Bottles.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't buy that. I don't buy this. No room to put the bottles. He's got knuckles in there.

[Elders]

Feels like we're getting a little. Yeah, now you're like the hyperbole.

[Guest Caller 3]

Yeah, he broke my 200 blender and didn't say anything. He just. He always ends up, like, costing me money. And it's, It's. He's A very sensitive guy. Yeah. And I know if you try to like sort of like say something to him and like kind of set a boundary, he gets like, he goes very quick to like, you're ungrateful.

[Elders]

Like.

[Guest Caller 3]

Yeah, you kind of thing. Like. I've never broached that. This is really boundary with him.

[Elders]

I know this.

[Guest Caller 3]

But I've seen other people in the family do it. And so like I say, I feel, I feel lucky to have, you know, a father in law that's like fun loving. He brought his big karaoke machine. I love that he thinks karaoke.

[Elders]

This man's practicing sing his selena covers at 3am oh my God, here comes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Father in law with his knuckle sandwiches and karaoke machine. This is the premise of an 80s movie. It really is.

[Elders]

This is like what about Bob? But with your Mexican father in law.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Harry Bradford had it perfect until his mad Maria.

[Elders]

Yeah. He thought he had it on a beautiful wife.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Until he met her dad. That's exactly. Is there more?

[Guest Caller 1]

That's the gist. He just wants to know.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I like the specificities. Are there any more specificities?

[Elders]

No.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay.

[Elders]

So. Yeah. Okay, this is interesting. I mean we both have experience with foreign fathers. We both have them.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's, what's yours?

[Guest Caller 1]

Yeah, my father in law. Well, I'm. My family's Alban. My family's Albanian. So you know.

[Elders]

Yeah. All three of us have dads that were born in other countries. You were all. You were born.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's the vi. What's Albanian food?

[Guest Caller 1]

It's like a mix of like Mediterranean and Turkish kebabs and stuff.

[Elders]

Like dirt porridge, goat souffles, kind of, that sort of stuff.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Fish.

[Guest Caller 1]

There's like budak. There's like a lot.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There's what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest Caller 1]

That's.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's the pastry. Y' all are making like savory pastries.

[Guest Caller 1]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I love cultures that. With savory pastries you can tell.

[Elders]

You could. Yeah, but so I know exact. This guy, his father in law, I really have a picture of. You know, this guy is like, it's. I know Greek guys like this. Like, my dad's not like this because he would never be this helpful, but he would be annoyed if you ever asked him. Set a boundary or anything, you know. And so.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, that's so true. Boundaries, I'll tell you, are such an American thing. People, Greek people love boundaries.

[Elders]

Foreign families don't.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There are no boundaries. Even like if I run into someone who's Pakistani, they're like asking me for favors. Where I'm like, I met you 30 seconds ago.

[Elders]

I know. It's like, I've been stuck doing favors for a friend of a friend, and it's because I have, like, I have friends who are. There's a degree of how foreign you are. And I have Greek people who are real Greek and who are just like, oh, yeah. And like, you know, my friend you've never met, we're going to be in a car with them for nine hours. It's like, oh, nice, you know, Or. I mean, dude, our. When we are. Are. We love her so much. One of our best friends. But she had a friend from Cyprus just stay in our apartment for what. How long was that?

[Guest Caller 1]

It was like eight weeks.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Eight weeks. So long.

[Elders]

It was great.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That is so long.

[Elders]

It was nuts.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That was the length of my Broadway run, and it was. That lasted forever. I had a great time.

[Elders]

But, yeah, it was. It. Yeah, it was insane. But, yeah, that's four inches.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's hard to say. We all. That is foreign.

[Elders]

Yeah. And it was. It was never like, my friend staying here eight weeks. It was like, no, it was like, hey, he's going to crash on the couch for like a week. And then it was like, oh, he's. Oh, the place he was getting fell through.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

And then it was like, well, I'm leaving for three weeks, so he's just going to take my room. And it's like, okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You know, it always stuff like when Emily and I were dating early on, and I talked with my parents, she's like, well, just talk to them about it. Like, you do not understand. What are you.

[Elders]

What do you mean?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That doesn'. Not.

[Elders]

We don't.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

We literally do not have words for that. In Urdu, there's no word for boundary. There's a word for border. We got that. We need that.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But Emily has now understood after, like, almost two decades, like, all right, there are certain things you just cannot talk to your parents about.

[Elders]

And look, I. I'm not even gonna. Like, in certain contexts, I understand end. Wanting to set a boundary. And then it's up to that foreign parent if they want to see it from your side or not. And you decide how close you want to be with them. This doesn't feel like one of those. Right. Like, I've definitely had that issue with my. You know, I. I've talked about on the show. Like, me and my dad have had, like, I tried to set some boundaries, and he never got all the way there. But recently, he's just made this much Progress, which is to me, that's good enough. Right? Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because you understand how hard he has.

[Elders]

Had to try to even get there.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right.

[Elders]

And, and, but look, that's also my dad. It's not in the context of a family, it's not in the context of doing any favors. You are this guy's son in law. Also, when he's there, it sounds like he's doing you favors.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's trying to be nice.

[Elders]

But also it's like they're there for child care, aren't they? Aren't they? They're there for like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They are.

[Guest Caller 1]

I would think it.

[Elders]

The.

[Guest Caller 1]

What he's describing sounds a lot like what my grandma was like. Cuz she lived with us and she was like doing a ton of housework. She's doing ton of that, you know, no one else could really do or had time to do or whatever. And she was like helping raise us. But there was also like, she's just in her own little world. She's on autopilot. She ain't learning new. She's not gonna learn how to not do whatever she's doing that, you know, she's like breaking the washing machine once every two years. You're like, I can't prove that it was her. But you know, she said something it wrong or something.

[Elders]

Of course, of course.

[Guest Caller 1]

She should take like our nice knives and like scrape ice off the stairs.

[Elders]

When like, like where's the de jewing setting? All the Albanian washing machines have them.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Literally. Ethnic cleansing.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Guest Caller 1]

He said break the blunder. My grandma like broke and up all the time and she thought she was just like helping out, but it's.

[Elders]

I kind of know what you mean.

[Guest Caller 1]

You're not supposed to like she's putting.

[Elders]

Like aluminum foil the fucking microwave.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean this is, this is. I also was interested to hear his wife's perspective. Does she think that he's overstepping? Like, is there something to be had there? Like can she help set boundaries or something close to it? It's also, it's not all or nothing. Right. It's not like you could be like, hey, no more knuckles too. We just don't like it. Other stuff. So like maybe little steps. I don't know. Also I. What I would do is I'd be like, you win. This is how it's going to be.

[Elders]

I do think there is. Yeah. I think you're at a point where you should manage this because first of all, how often are these people here? Is it that big a deal?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It sounds like he's really in it right now. He just had a new baby, so he's really from at the bottom of.

[Elders]

The well, you know, and like eldest does he. He says like they're here helping us with the kids kid. But he doesn't say they're there all the time.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, they're. You're helping the kid with the kid because the kid's three and they're having another kid or just had another kid.

[Elders]

And so I would say unless this guy's coming to your house and have spending six days every month or something.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, you gotta write it out.

[Elders]

If it's just like holidays or whatever.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That'S how I feel.

[Elders]

But. And I'm not saying you can't make some progress, but you're like him being so. You know, these four, these like immigrant dads do, are both act like tough, big macho tough guys, but are the most sensitive people in the world. Like in my experience, because it's like no one really like, it's like their mom coddled them and then their wife coddled them.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They never had a fence veneer of macho, but really soft.

[Elders]

And I really think everyone that I've met has kind of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's very true. I think that's true in general for very, very guys who try to be macho is that they're really like little boys.

[Elders]

Yeah. And so his feelings will get, get hurt. And again, if this was a, A peer, if this was a co worker, if this was someone who's. You could, you know, check him on that. But this is your father in law who you see what, 5. Who stays with you 5% of the year or whatever it is. Like if that, Whatever. So I would say instead of being like, hey, the knuckle stew sucks dick, be like, hey, you know what I really like is your carne asada.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Can you make, can you make that for me?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, positive reinforcement.

[Elders]

Start ordering. Considering the things you really like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right, right, right.

[Elders]

You know, like, look, the sleeping on the couch thing, it's like whatever, you're. Get a bigger house brother. I don't know what to tell you. Like, like, I don't think that'll. Yeah, right now that ain't happening. Or get a, get a, get a, get a camper for him to sleep in in the driveway. Be like, dude, I got you your own personal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, you got to spend it positive.

[Elders]

It's decked out with all the. You like. But yeah, I think you can do some stuff with the margins. But this is why people are. You could have this guy and he's not helpful. Not saying like, think about how much worse it could be. I know that's not always helpful because you're still. This is your experience and it sucks. But it's like as far as like father in laws go, he's trying his best. Some little positive reinforcement. What does your wife think? And also you haven't even tried setting even a light boundary because he said says like he's seen it happen with other people in the family. Sometimes like father in laws don't respect their kids, but they might listen to like, you know, I feel like this is a trap. I mean, look, I don't know. I'm not, no, I'm just, I'm just saying that the dynamics are different from you than the other people you've seen in the family. So you can. As long as you're coming at him from a. He's still the thing. You have to always frame these things that it's. He has all the power. He needs to feel like he's in complete control, 100%. You almost have to like be groveling and be like, hey, can you, you know, whatever, can you do this? Or whatever, I have to be up tomorrow. Or you know, can you, you know, I don't know, not sleep. I don't know what the issue is, but I don't know, man. I just think you have to kind of eat this. Especially when you think of it in the context of, you know, what are they helping you with? How long are they there now? If we're getting this wrong and they're there three months.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It doesn't sound like it. It sounds like they're there right now because. But the kids there, you know, so it could be, at this point, it could be a couple months. Months. Because it's the first couple months with a new baby.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Guest Caller 1]

Could also see down the line all these people moving in together at some point. So this might be. Need to address more head on in the future. I don't know. But just, you know, I think you'd.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Have a bigger place at that point if you're like moving in together.

[Elders]

Eldest did grow up with his grandmother sleeping in the living room.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I, I, yeah, I grew up with my grandfather.

[Elders]

Yeah, no, me too. My grandma, my grandma lived in our house too.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

So we, yeah, we, we all have that background. So. So. But I think on a visit it's more of like he gets to peacock around. He's like the guest of honor and he's never not gonna feel that way.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And it is obviously coming from a good place, which is why he gets hurt when you call him on it. Cause he's like, this is how I'm showing my love. So I think understand that this is his way of showing you love. And you just have to, you know, it's a love language thing kind of. You just have to. I think what you said about being like, I like this, I like this. That's kind of your.

[Elders]

That's the closest thing you can get because like, yeah, that's the close thing you get to. And look, dude, pros and cons and everything, this is. This is a sort of mixed. This is one of the mixed bags that comes with your, you know, marrying your wife. And I'm sure the pros way outweigh it. And it's like being a little annoyed at your step or your father in law ain't the worst.

[Guest Caller 1]

I think this is also like an era of chaos in your life. You just have a second baby. Just. Man, it's like not gonna get.

[Elders]

I kind of agree. I kind of agree.

[Guest Caller 1]

Next few years.

[Elders]

I think he's calling us in the. He's in the middle. The middle of the storm right now.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right, right, right.

[Elders]

I think when he's gone, you know, you'll. Yeah, it's not that big a deal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But, you know, it's like, you know, have you. This is a. I'm prefacing with one of the worst analogies I've ever made. But you.

[Elders]

Great.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But you. Have you heard that call where a woman's calling because her friend is being attacked by a chimp or like a pit bull? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what that is.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's like, it's. It's literally just happening right now.

[Elders]

I think so. But, you know, if we're wrong, call back, let us know you got something fun for us to go out on here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, let's go.

[Guest Caller 1]

Yeah. This is a question.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Fun. Solving other people's problems is so easy.

[Elders]

It's so fun and easy. Yeah. I have no. I have no skin in the game. I have no personal experience with any of this. I'm a stunted, you know, child.

[Guest Caller 4]

Hey, Savvy, baby, I love you and your podcast so much. You're my big king. I had a question. And not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty fucking hot.

[Elders]

Nice.

[Guest Caller 4]

Huge tits. Huge. Great ass.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Dude. You. I think she's into you too.

[Elders]

Quiet down, Camille. I'm down. I'm listening to our caller. Please don't interrupt her.

[Guest Caller 2]

Camille.

[Elders]

She has huge tits. I don't know if you heard.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't mean to block you over voicemail.

[Elders]

Go ahead, Elvis.

[Guest Caller 4]

I do have eczema. Like, specifically my thighs and my ass. So I just wanted to know what your perspective and the esteemed guest opinion would be on. Like, if you're hooking up with a girl and it sort of looks like, I don't know, rash or something on her ass. Like, I don't want to freak anyone out, but, like, I have a hot vibe. I want to show it off, of course, but I don't want anybody to think I'm like, diseased. It's just this condition that I. I can't cure. Yeah. So what would you do if you're hooking up with a girl and. And you see she's got some eczema? Otherwise, 10 out of 10. Well, maybe eight out of 10, depending on. I just wanted to know what your opinion was as a. As a guy. Thanks so much, babes.

[Advertisement Voice]

Love you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I said you. You really are tackling like the entire spectrum of problems. Yeah. From like my grand. My father in law is making knuckle stew to axemana hot ass.

[Elders]

I mean, this is so, like, how much women are just mentally tortured in our society. It's like, this is a beautiful woman who has a skin. Now, the only thing that I could think of that takes out of the realm of like, if she had eczema on her arm or something, I'd be like, shut the up. No one cares. This is totally in your head. The ass thing. The only thing I'll say is, like, if you. If it could possibly read as an std, that's the only negative I can come up with. Right. Because it's like, how rashy does it look? I don't. Eczema.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Eczema can go.

[Elders]

It's a lot.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

I could go pretty far a lot of different ways.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Elders]

So I don't know. I mean, I don't even exactly in my head know what that just like reddish, flaky skin. Is that kind of what it is?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. But image search, eczema, it can get fairly. I assume if she's dealing with it, then it's something if she's so concerned about. But also, you're right. We've really done a number on women.

[Elders]

Crazy. Because it's like, basically you're saying like a minor skin condition and everything else.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is, you know, truly one of the most minor conditions you can have in life.

[Elders]

So many people have it.

[Guest Caller 1]

I'M seeing. So there's like a spectrum. Some stuff looks really gross. I think for me it would come down to like. Like the texture. Like can you feel it or is it just like redness?

[Elders]

You know what I mean? Scaly.

[Guest Caller 1]

Because if you. If you come across like a weird scaly patch, depending on how bad it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is, you close your eyes, you might. You think you're reading Braille?

[Elders]

Maybe I'm the lizard woman. Which could be hot actually, now that I think about it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That you got to. Where does the tail go?

[Elders]

I think you know. I think you know where it goes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That sound pretty good, right?

[Elders]

You know, small tail.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, as long as the tip is small, I can work up. I can work up to the base. Cuz, you know, tail's like in there.

[Elders]

If it's wiggly.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

A lot of possibilities.

[Elders]

Worst case scenario, it's tickling your nuts. Worst case scenario. This is not an issue at all. This is insane. This is. You're. Yeah, you've been. Our beauty standards have really, really crushed women's self esteem. This is nothing. I mean, eczema. I mean, I'm thinking about first move to New York.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's just like dandruff, right? It's just non head dandruff.

[Elders]

I believe so. I think that's mostly what it is. But I also think like. You know, I guess I'm not gonna tell you because I'm sure she's done the research on curing it. It feels curable. I feel like you cured it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That was the first thing I thought of too. But then you know the problem I have. What Emily is like. She's like, I don't need you to offer a solution.

[Elders]

Yeah, I'm just listening.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So that's why I didn't say it but.

[Elders]

Right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I would think that would be.

[Elders]

Get a second opinion from a better dermatologist.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

A good derm. Yeah.

[Elders]

But no, keep. Keep at it. You know, you're doing great. It's. This is a very minor thing. And this would not stop me at all. I wouldn't even consider. Wouldn't even even enter my body.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'd be like, oh, thank God she's human.

[Elders]

Yeah. Yeah. I would be. There would be too many awesome things. We're talking about those huge titties, that big ass. You seem fun. We've probably had a nice time. You think I'm gonna be like, what the hell is that? Do you need to put a little lotion on a 2 inch by 2 inch patch of your ass? You fucking disgusting. Get the fuck out of my house. I'm fat as shit. I look like this. I'm like, you got eczema, bitch. I have medically rosy cheeks that will never go away.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Medically rosy.

[Elders]

Yeah. I don't know what this is, but it's just, you know, it's never going to. I can't grow hair here. I don't.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You can't. This is the beard.

[Elders]

Yeah. I can't. This is it, baby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's a good look, though.

[Elders]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Cherubic.

[Elders]

Yeah. I have. I'll be cherubic my whole life.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Elders]

So, yeah, you're doing great. And look, if we can. If you need a, you know, more detail. You want to send me a picture of your ass so I can really know we're looking. Looking at. For clinical reasons only, my DMs are open. As a practitioner. As a mental health practitioner. That's the thing. I have no licensing. You should not listen to anything that we say. But where the other place we differ from therapists was. We will look at your nudes. If you ask, and it's not unethical.

[Guest Caller 1]

You'Ll throw in the free titty screening, too.

[Elders]

I will also do a visual mammogram.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Anything. Yeah, yeah. Any other ailments you got?

[Elders]

Yeah. Do you have. Yeah, Goose. Goose pimples on your titties. What are those, like, goose. Goosebumps. Do you get goosebumps on your titties? I'll look at those, too. Anyway.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. He's lucky to be there. Or she.

[Elders]

Whoever it is, whoever's getting in those cheeks should have no problem.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. By the way, look at this guy's head of hair. Huh?

[Elders]

Oh, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That is like. Oh, that is one of the best heads of hair I've ever seen.

[Elders]

Wow. Look at him blush.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're never gonna. Your whole family. Everybody's got full head of hair.

[Elders]

My dad was bald. As what?

[Guest Caller 1]

He had, like, crazy male pattern baldness.

[Elders]

He had the most traditional male. Better and boldness you could ever.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

My mom had going back into the island and then back here. That thing.

[Elders]

Oh, no, not even an island. Pure horseshoe.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay.

[Elders]

It was awesome. He had great. My dad, too, has that going on. He has, like, two hairs up here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He.

[Elders]

When I was a kid, he would. Like when we had to go anywhere, like, important, he would spray his, like, four hairs down. It was hilarious. Pretending he had hair. Can you imagine somebody that pathetic? What the hell, Eldis? Why are you laughing? I mean, that would be sad. What's going on up here. You like the back of the. Are you looking at the background? K. I saw you black back there.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, man. You got to really.

[Elders]

Yes, we've mentioned it before. Eldis had to be blessed with height and a great hairline. He's too weak to live in my body. He would have crumbled under the weight of this. Of this look. And so I'm happy for him.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It is a great look. Thank you. It really is. Appreciate. It works.

[Elders]

I appreciate it. Yeah. I think. Were we wrapping it up and then you got a comment compliment? I think so.

[Guest Caller 1]

But hey, we can keep that going.

[Elders]

No, no, that's enough compliments.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, holy.

[Elders]

No more complimenting the employees, Camille. That's it. You've reached your guest limit for how many eldest compliments. You've also addressed him with respect, which I don't really like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that. Is that not standard?

[Elders]

It's not really, you know, just cold and impersonal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Okay.

[Elders]

From now on, you didn't know any better.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, next time I won't talk.

[Guest Caller 1]

I can't look the guest in the eyes.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah. I dock his pay every time he makes eye contact with a guest.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, you know, depending on where.

[Elders]

Their IMDb star meter is, of course, you know, certain comedians can look him in the eye. You know, some of my friends I did open mics with, you know, Patreon episodes, we were a little more lax. But the free ones with guests that have been Oscar nominated have boundaries. Absolutely not. No respect of boundaries. But that is going to do it for the app. Kumail, thanks for coming, man.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, thanks for having me. Yeah. So great on Hulu. I'm also in a couple episodes of the new season of Fallout, which is also out right now.

[Elders]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

On Amazon Prime.

[Elders]

That's awesome. Go see it. And yeah, I mean, you've been to so much great stuff. Go check out all the. I mean, you know, all the back catalog.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

One Marvel movie and one Marvel movie.

[Elders]

Exactly one.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Maybe the only guy to be in just one. Just one for me. Thank you. I will never forget that you. You were like, in a way, it's a blessing in disguise. Right.

[Elders]

I really think that we can keep talking about it off of our philosophies. Off. Off Mike. But yes, listen, no complaints.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I feel very, very lucky to be where. I mean, so lucky.

[Elders]

Yeah, yeah, no complaints. That totally, totally comes through. You did. But it is very. I know I am stupid in hindsight, but watch the special, folks, and we will talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

So go ahead.

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Elders]

Good different.

[Advertisement Voice]

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

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[Advertisement Voice]

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[Elders]

Hey listeners. Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast+ on Apple Podcasts, or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus+ to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.