Madison Pruitt Trout (0:00)

If I gain a man because of my body, then I'm also probably going to lose him for another body. So many of us flirt with sin and then wonder why we fall into it. We send out these messages of I'm so thirsty for attention. And the kind of messages that we're sending out are attracting the kind of guys that we don't want to keep. And then we're wondering why we're attracting the wrong guys. I want you guys to be confident in who you are. I want you to know your worth and value and not look to other people to give it to you. You don't want a guy that's just going to turn his head because your booty cheeks are hanging out. You want the kind of guy that's going to stop in his tracks because he's so blown away by your character. What's up, guys? Welcome back to another episode of Stay True podcast. I'm your host, Madison Pruitt Trout, and I'm so excited to be back in not the studio with you guys. We're still in our house in the one room that's mostly done. We do have now. Our dining room is pretty much done. Our bedroom is pretty much done, and our living room and kitchen is pretty much done, which is great. Baby girl's room at the point of recording this episode is still not done. But by the time this episode comes out, because I'm recording this about three weeks before it comes out, she may be here by now, you guys, which is. It's crazy. Like, she may actually be here by the time this episode comes out, which is just, like, mind blowing because I can't wait to see what she looks like. I can't wait to see her little personality. I can't wait to hold her. I'm just so, so excited. I can't wait to tell you guys all about the labor and the birth and the whole thing, because I'm going to get honest with you guys, because not a lot of people really prepared me. I got pregnant and there were so many things that no one prepared me for. And then I feel like I'm going to probably say the same thing when I have a baby. Like, whenever we. I give birth and then also become a new mom, I feel like there's just going to be so many things that maybe you just don't know until you know. Like, and also everyone's experiences, of course, just so different. So. But I'm going to tell you guys all the things, so stay tuned. But if you think about it, pray for Us. Because I'm either about to go into labor literally any second now, or I have just had our sweet, precious baby girl. And I've been keeping you guys updated. Updated with the fact that I am going to take a very good little maternity leave for about six weeks. And so I am batching out some of this content. And so, you know, this week, next week, the next week, the next week, like for the next probably five, six weeks, you're gonna be watching or listening to some batched out content. So I will still be very pregnant, I will still be looking large and in charge, and we will likely be in some of the same locations in like our little library. And I'm gonna have on hopefully some fun guests before I do my maternity leave. But I just wanted to bring you guys into all of that because always want to be super authentic, honest, real with you guys about, you know, this is not happening right here, right now. This is some, a few batched out episodes so that I can continue to love on you guys and share with you guys, you know, what God's laying on my heart and hopefully continue to weekly encourage you guys. And then there will be about three weeks in March where I'm gonna take a little pause, a little break, and can you guys believe it? We're coming up on one year of Stay True podcast. So the end of March will be one year of Stay True podcast, which is just insane. And I can't believe it's already a new year. I can't believe it's already 2025. It's insane, you guys. Like, how is it 2025? And so much is happening and so much is changing and God is moving and God is working and I'm just very excited about it. But I am going to be talking about today. We're going to be talking all about modesty. We're gonna go there. We're gonna be talking all about flirting. Yep, we're gonna go there too. And we're gonna talk about how far is too far. And I'm not just even talking about purity. I'm kind of addressing all things. You know, I think a lot of times we can really push the limit and try to get as close to sin as we possibly can get and then wonder why we have to suffer the consequences of it or then get frustrated at ourselves when we fall for it, but don't realize that far too often we're dancing on the line of impurity and then wondering why we're not living in purity. And it's because we're Trying to take it too far. We're trying to get as close as we possibly can. And so we're going to be addressing all of those things. I've been asked by a lot of you guys to talk about some of these topics and subjects and continue to send in, you know, the things you want to hear, the things that interest you, the things that are going on in your life. Sometimes I really just like look at your guys's dms and it kind of helps me with what we're going to talk about. And then sometimes God lays something very specific on my heart that I want to talk about and that I want to address. And for this, this was, I mean, a little bit of a combination of both. But a lot of you guys have asked about, you know, how to dress in a God honoring way and how to post on social media in a God honoring way, how to, you know, date and you know, like someone in a God honoring way, all of those things. And so we're gonna go there, we're gonna talk about it. And I also want to say I am not a professional in this. And I have learned through honestly failing, like I have been the person who's been called by some really good friends, who's even been called out by my own husband at the time he was someone I was dating. And I've been called out and the way that I dress, I've been called out in, you know, and how affectionate I can be with the opposite sex. And not in like a bad way, but just like I'm a very friendly person. And so I, you know, I, I touch a shoulder, I, you know, whatever. And I think that I had to learn it's not very loving for me to lead on other people. I had to learn it's not very godly for me to communicate that I'm interested in someone that I'm not interested in. Even if I wanted to blame that on my personality, even if I wanted to blame that on, you know, I got a thrill out of it, I enjoyed doing it. And we're talking about flirting here, if you're confused. But I, I have learned a lot throughout my life and you know, I've learned that sometimes I would post pictures just to get attention and just to get a couple comments or dms that I was looking for. But then it never, it never satisfied me. Like I always felt like I had to do it again and I had to keep up and I, I was constantly watching at what other people were doing and it was just exhausting. Like I It just was not a healthy place to be in. And so if that's you, if you've posted pictures that you're not proud of, if you have sent text messages that you're not proud of, if you have been dressing a certain way or posing a certain way, I think sometimes it's not even about necessarily what we're wearing, but also what our facial expressions are. I think we can have. We can. We can pose a certain way or make a certain facial expression that can communicate a message that maybe we. We want to sin just to get attention, but we actually don't want. Because we want to find someone who will love and respect us. But we send out these messages of I'm so thirsty for attention. And the kind of messages that we're sending out are attracting the kind of guys that we don't want to keep. And then we're wondering why we're attracting the wrong guys. And so you guys, this is gonna be a message for really mainly my ladies out there. And so I'm not saying men can't listen to this message, but this is definitely going to be a lot more focused on the ladies. Okay? It says in 1st Peter 3. 3, your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or a fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty. The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. And I think that that's so good because it's talking about. It's not in what we look like. It's not in what even how we're presenting ourselves or in how other people see us. But it's in the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which shows us it's. It's a much more deeper inner beauty, what's inside of you rather than what's what you look like on the outside. For man looks at the appearance, but God looks at the heart. And I think if we're honest, that there's a lot of us out there who focus way much more of our time and energy on what we look like on the outside and, and how other people perceive us and what other people think about us and, and what we're putting out rather than what's actually inside of us, rather than focusing on how we can invest on an. On a beautiful inward spirit and Because God looks at the heart. That means that men of God will look at the heart. Because God cares about our inner spirit, Men of God will care about our inner spirit. And so for us as women of God, as Christian women, we should not be putting out these messages that say that we care more about what we look like on the outside than what the inside looks like, than what our heart looks like, than what our purity looks like, then what our spirit and our intimacy with Jesus looks like. Because when you focus on those things, you will attract the right man. You will attract the man that you're actually looking for. Many of us end up attracting the wrong people because we're putting out the wrong messages, because we're showing that we care more about what we look like on the outside, how we dress, what's to our name, how, like how we pose the message that we're putting out is confusing. And it's attracting worldly men when what we want deep inside are men who love God, men who will respect our bodies, men who will treat us with respect and love and pursuit men who are gentlemen and who will open our door and take care of us and provide for us. Like that is what we want as a woman. Yet most of us put our worth in what we look like. And we, you know, try to pose a certain way or look a certain way or, you know, post certain things, but then wonder why we're attracting worldliness when. When we're walking in godliness, naturally we will attract those kinds of people, including friendships. Right. I think for so many of us, we want to have really strong godly friends, yet where we go to look for them, yet what we put out, yet how we act towards the world and other people is going to attract the kind of people that come near us and the kind of people that are drawn to us. And so if we're acting worldly, if we're dressing worldly, if we're going to worldly places, if we're posting worldly things, then we're going to attract those kinds of people romantically. Friendship, all of it. And when we're in the word of God, we're dressing modestly, we're posting modestly, we're going to places to find godly people, you know, and we're living our life on mission to seek and save the lost and to love God and love people. We're going to attract those kinds of people. We're going to the. The people that are going to be drawn to us are the people who either need Jesus or who already Love Jesus. You know, like the people who want to have Jesus, that they want you to share the gospel with them, or the people who already have Jesus. Love Jesus and to do life on mission with you and champion you on, in your race. And so it's so important as it's talking about in this scripture that we should not put our beauty in the outward appearance. We shouldn't put our beauty in what, you know, this world can offer us. We shouldn't put our worth and value and what can so easily be taken away and what so easily can be lost and what so easily can tarnish. We should be putting our worth and our, our beauty and our hope and our confidence in something that can never be and a treasure that can never be stolen and a treasure that can never fade away. And those are eternal things. And that's a relationship with Jesus. And so for me, it's been a journey. Like I, that is not something that I kind of like went through seasons. Like there were seasons where in high school I cared a lot about what people. Oh, my goodness, she's moving so much. I don't know if you'll get, if you guys can, like, if you're watching this video, if you're literally seeing her move, like across my belly, and if that freaks you out, I'm really sorry. That's just the reality. But in high school, you know, I really wanted to be liked by guys. I was boy crazy and I really put a lot of my worth and my value in what guys thought about me. And I don't really know, like, where that stemmed from. I do know that some of it was my own sin struggle. Like I was, I've opened up on this podcast before about how I was stuck in pornography and watching pornography. And that was a struggle for me starting at like 13, 14 years old. And I think that began to shape, I know that began to shape how I view myself, how I viewed the opposite sex, what I expected from the opposite sex, and also how I carried myself. You know, all of a sudden now I'm thinking more from a promiscuous, sexual, seductive viewpoint rather than a pure, innocent, godly viewpoint, you know, because of that sin struggle, because of falling into that sin and, you know, not knowing how to get free from it for a long time. And so that shaped how I viewed, and it shaped how I viewed my own body. You know, it shaped how I viewed relationships. It distorted so much, it perverted so much, it hurt so much. It hurt my true God given confidence. It hurt my true God given purpose. It hurt how I did relationships. And because of that, I attracted the wrong kind of guys. My. My very first boyfriend cheated on me. He literally lost his virginity to some random girl at a party. Like, that's. That was the kind of guy, even though I wasn't doing that with him, even though I had decided I was going to save myself for marriage just so I could say that I had my virgin card, I was still, you know, pushing boundaries with him. I was still trying to dress a certain way and wear my skirt a little bit shorter. And, you know, I was trying to send some risque text messages. Like, you know, I was still trying to push those boundaries and ask how far is too far? And I was trying to flirt with sin. Like, I was truly living on that. That line of pushing boundaries and pushing it and then wondering, you know, ultimately why he cheated on me and wondering ultimately why, you know, the relationship didn't work out. And it's because I attracted the wrong kind of guy because I. Because of what I felt about myself and how I felt about myself and what message I was putting out, how I was dressing, how I was acting, how I was flirting. It was communicating this message that be. I don't really value, you know, my body. I don't really value sexual purity. I don't value my relationship with Jesus to the utmost priority. And because of that, I attracted the kind of guy that didn't really value my body, didn't really value my heart, didn't really value, you know, any of those things. And so because of that, you know, the relationship ended in me being cheated on. And that was really hard. And then it led to years of me having trust issues and years of me feeling like I had to prove myself to get other guys attention. Like, then it became a game. It was like, oh, I got cheated on. And so now, you know, I want to get a guy to fall for me and like, me just so I can reject him because I felt rejection. Now I just want to reject guys, like, now because I've been hurt. Now I just want to hurt other guys. Like, it was not a good mindset, clearly. And I even entered into college, like, kind of struggling with this same thing. And it wasn't until I really went all in with Jesus and started getting super, super serious about my faith and knowing that my true worth and value and identity came from who I was as a child of God, who I was as a daughter of the King. And once I knew that, there was nothing no one else could take from me. There was nothing, no One else could steal from me. There was nothing I could lose because I was rooted in who I was in Christ. Therefore, I wasn't dependent upon another human being to tell me who I was. I wasn't dependent upon another human being to accept me or reject me. I already knew I was accepted by the most High God. I already knew that I belonged to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Therefore, I wasn't walking around from a place of lack. I wasn't walking around from a place of needing other people's approval, of needing other people's attention, because I already knew who I was. And I think the problem for so many of us is that we're so needy for attention. We have this pick me mindset. We have this, you know, desire for someone to chase us or the thrill of being chased or the thrill of being wanted, that we're willing to lower our standards. We're willing to compromise, we're willing to sin. We're willing to post things that, you know, maybe are a little risque or do things that are a little too much just to get attention, just to get a thrill, just to get, you know, to have someone be interested in. In us. And I actually think that that says way more about how we view God and how we view ourself than it does about how we view relationships, than it does about our relationship history. You know, I think it says way more about ourselves than it does about, you know, the men that we're drawn to. I think I hear so often, like, I'm just drawn to, you know, toxic men. I'm just drawn to the wrong kind of man. No, there's something missing in you. There's something off with you. There's something lacking with you. And I don't mean that in a mean way. I'm not saying you got, you know, you got issues. You're the problem. I'm just saying if you constantly are looking and drawn to the wrong type of person, it's probably because there's something missing in your own heart and in your own life that you need to address. And if you don't fix you, that will continue to carry with you throughout your entire life. Like, you will continue to walk around, you know, drawing in the wrong kinds of people, wondering why you keep getting hurt, wondering why you keep going through rejections and breakups, wondering why you keep drawing in the wrong kind of men, wondering all of these things because you're not fixing the actual lack and problem and insecurity in your own heart and life. And it wasn't until I addressed that I was looking for something that only Jesus could give me, that I ultimately was able to get to the root of the problem. And then once I addressed that, then I was able to enter into relationships from a whole different perspective. It was no longer, I need you to complete me. It was no longer, I need you to affirm me. I need your attention. I want your attention. I'm thirsty for your attention. You know, I'm willing to compromise my standards. I'm willing to compromise who I am just to, you know, get a, get a Snapchat from you, just to get a DM from you, just to get a comment from you. It's like that whole, that whole thing flipped because once I went all in with Jesus and I knew that his love fully satisfied and that he was the only one who could tell me who I was because he was the one who created me. Only from there was I able to enter into relationships from a place of confidence, abundance, contentment, you know, and I, I wasn't trying to find that in, in another human being. And it was so freeing because then I experienced my first really healthy godly relationship in college. And this guy and I dated for four years. He ended up becoming the, a youth pastor at the church. And you know, that was the first example for me of what it looked like to have a really godly relationship. But it didn't even start with him. It started with me. It started with, I knew my worth and value. I knew my relationship with Jesus was the most important thing in the entire world. So therefore then I attracted that kind of person, you know, and it took me getting my heart right with God and my heart right with myself before I could ever, you know, have the right kind of relationship with another person. Cozy Earth products are my newest obsession. 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They're cozy enough to cuddle up on the couch with your favorite book and have some quiet time, but they're also cute enough to feel like you're put together and you're looking good. Trust me, once you try these products, you'll never want to try anything else. Cozy Earth is seriously the best and to get your own Cozy Earth products go to cozy earth.com/stay true and use my exclusive 40% off code stay true and if you get a post purchase survey say that you heard about Cozy Earth from this podcast. Create your own sanctuary with Cozy Earth. I also want to just say, I think a lot of times we don't take the time to really reflect and search our own hearts. Because if you would have asked me in high school if I love Jesus, if he was the biggest priority in my life and if I was living a life that honored him, I would have said absolutely. I would have said, of course. If you would have asked me if I was confident and if I knew my worth and if I was, you know, firm in my identity, I probably would have answered absolutely. Because I've always been a very sure person. I've always been a very strong willed person, passionate person. But I didn't like now looking back, that I've grown so much in my faith that I now have this spiritual maturity and that I now have years since then where I can reflect and look back. I was not confident. I was not sure of who I was. I was not looking for the right things. I was looking for the wrong things in all the wrong places. And I was confused and I was allowing culture to determine, you know, and sin to determine what how I felt about myself and how other people felt about me. And it wasn't until I went all in with Jesus where that began to change. But I think that the problem for a lot of us is we don't take the time to to ask ourselves the hard questions. We don't take the time to really reflect and we just keep falling into the same toxic patterns. We just keep doing the same unhealthy things and wondering why we get the same results. And it's not until we stop and we ask ourselves why. Why does this keep happening? Why do I keep getting the same, you know, response or the same kind of relationship, or why do I keep being drawn to the same person? Why do I keep feeling these same things? Until we begin to really ask those questions and get to the root, we're going to continue to have the same results. And a lot of times we don't realize that we're the problem and that we have some things to own and that we have some things to work on, and we have some things we need to change. And so one thing I would just love to start off by asking you guys is a question we should always ask. When it comes to flirting, when it comes to social media, when it comes to relationships, a question we should always ask is, does this glorify God? Does this glorify God? If I post this picture, does this glorify God? What is this picture communicating? Is this picture pointing others to me or pointing others to Jesus? Is this picture communicating that I care more about what I look like on the outside than. Than my heart? Is this picture communicating that I'm really thirsty for attention and approval and that I'm looking for some guy to. To give me a comment? Like, if I'm posting a picture that's making some type of seductive face or it has some type of pose where maybe it's showing off my curves or showing off my, you know, my figure or whatever it may be, like, ask. Truly, ask yourself. It can. It's kind of awkward and it's kind of embarrassing, but, like, we got to be honest with ourselves if we want to change, if we want something different, if we want to honor God with everything that we are and everything that we have? You really have to ask yourself, you know, what am I trying to communicate when I post this picture? What am I trying to communicate? What do I want people to see when they go to my profile? What do I want people to see when they click on. They click on my. My name, you know, what do I want people to see when I walk into a room? What do I want people to think when they think about me? Is it that, oh, that girl is always trying to, like, post, you know, cute pictures? She's always trying to, like, show off her figure. She's always trying to. And not that again. We don't live for the approval of people. We're not trying to, like, focus everything around, what are people thinking about me when I post this? But truly, it's like, when we post these pictures, we should ask, does this glorify God? And what is this, like, what message Is this sending? Because I think so often we just do things and we don't really think about it, but then we wonder why. You know, it leads to random consequences down the road, but we never relate it to the same thing, right? It's like we wonder why we end up, you know, getting a DM from that person and then we date that person for six months and then it ends up in them cheating or it ends up in them, you know, breaking our hearts or whatever it may be. And it's like if we could trace it all the way back to, okay, I haven't been putting my worth and my value in the right thing. I haven't been taking my worth and value to Jesus. Instead I've been trying to put it in getting attention from guys or in what other people think about me. And therefore I've been posting pictures that communicate that I'm really obsessed with my body and that I also don't really respect myself. And so therefore I've been attracting men that are after me because of my body. But if I gain a man because of my body, then I'm also probably going to lose him for another body. Like he's probably going to not only be drawn to me for my body, but then he's also going to find another body that ends up being better or looks younger or looks, you know, whatever is, is curvier is down to do more things. Like if that's what is drawing a man to you, then that's probably how he's going to lose you and how you're going to lose him. And so make sure that the message you're, you're communicating, you know, is one of unfading beauty, is one of a, of a, of a spirit that says, I am unashamed of the gospel that saved my soul. And you know, when we're not just like posting, but also how we're dressing, like, ask yourself in, in what I'm wearing and in how I'm dressing, is it honoring and glorifying God and how I dress? Is it communicating that I live my life to please people, that I live my life to get attention, that I live my life to turn heads? Or is it communicating that I respect God, I respect my body, and I respect either my spouse because I'm married or my one day future spouse because I hope to be married. And a lot of us is like, well, that's why I dress this way to get a spouse. And it's like, no, no, no, if you're dressing that way to get a Spouse, you're going to be attracting the wrong kind of spouse. That's not the kind of spouse that you want, is, I promise you, it's not the kind of spouse that you want. You don't want a guy that's just going to turn his head because your booty cheeks are hanging out. You want the kind of guy that's he's, he's going to stop in his tracks because he's so blown away by your character, because he's so blown away by your love for Jesus, because he's so blown away by your heart for people. You want a guy that 20 years from now is going to be faithful to you, is going to be serving you, who's going to be loving your children, who's going to be setting example for your daughters, who's going to, you know, like, help you love Jesus more and, and, and get on his knees and fight with you against the enemy that, that seeks to separate the two of you. Like, you want that kind of man of God. And we just get so caught up, I think so often in like, passion and in whatever is pleasurable or quick or satisfying in a moment that we forget to think long term, that we forget to think about what we actually value most over what we want right now. And so really asking ourselves those questions and taking time to sit and reflect and be like, God, how can I honor you with my body? God, how can I honor you with my social media platform? God, how can I honor you in the way that I dress? And maybe we don't dress immodestly. Maybe we just dress like we have such a materialistic mindset. Maybe we're trying to keep up with the Joneses. And it's not even that we're trying to impress guys. We're trying to impress the girls around us. Like, we're trying to have girls tell us that they love our outfits. And, you know, we're trying to impress that friend or whatever it may be. And so we're buying all of these name brand purses and we're buying all these name brand things, trying to fit in or trying to look cool. And you just have to again, ask yourself, like, what is this communicating? What message is this sending? These are things that I personally have to continue to do every single day. Like when I go out, I love shoes, okay? I'm a shoe girl. I love jewelry. I love some gold jewelry. And it literally just talked about it in scripture. So, like, these are questions I have to wrestle with. And I also need people around me to Call me out. I can't see my own blind spots, and so I need other people to call me out. When Grant and I were dating, like, he really called me out in how I posted on social media and in the way that I dressed. And he just, you know, in love and gently was like, hey, I'm not saying crop tops are bad, but, like, what are you trying to accomplish with it? Like, what is your goal with it? He said, I'm not saying crop tops are a sin, but what message do you think it's sending? Do you think it's telling other Christians that it's okay? Do you think it's telling other young girls that they should dress in a way that their. Their bodies are. Are being shown and flaunted? Do you think it's communicating to boys that you. To other men that you honor and respect the guy that you're dating and that you honor and respect the God that you love? Like, what kind of message do you think it's sending? And he's like, if you think that it's totally God honoring and you have no conviction whatsoever, okay. But he would just continue to challenge me and encourage me. Hey, dive into the word of God. What does God's word say? Hey, spend time praying about it. What. What do you feel when you take it before God? Hey, spend time talking with your accountability and mentors about it. What do they say about it? And he would just continue to challenge me in those ways. He would also challenge me in. In what I posted. You know, are. Are you posting. Are you smiling that certain way because it gives off a seductive look and you want people to comment, wow, Maddie, you're so beautiful. You know, like, are you posting those pictures? Because maybe that'll get you more likes, but it's showing off your body more, you know, And. And he would really challenge me in those ways. And I needed him to call me out in those ways. I needed. Need friends who will call me out in those ways if I post a picture that's a little inappropriate, if I post a picture that's communicating the wrong thing, and that's not really my heart, but it. It sends a message that maybe I don't want to put out there. I need people who will call me out and call me higher, and so do you. We all need those kinds of people in our life. And so when it comes to modesty specifically, you know, just again, asking yourself, like, what. What am I communicating with? How I dress? What am I communicating with? What I'm putting out there, with what I'M showing other people. And what kind of people am I drawing because of that? What kind of, you know, what am I attracting because of that? And I think that that's going to be really helpful. Obviously, it talks about all throughout Scripture, there's lots of verses I could find that, that specifically speak to, you know, the importance of modesty and the importance of, of, you know, clothing yourself in, in strength and dignity, clothing yourself in humility, clothing yourself in purity. And so the importance of not only, you know, pursuing modesty and not only doing it in a way because like, we want to attract a man of God, but also clothing ourselves in purity and in humility and in gentleness and in generosity and in all of these things because it honors God, because it's who we're called to be as followers of Jesus Christ. And so, you know, again, as followers of Jesus Christ, this is just scripture. This is truth. If you're listening to this and you're not a follower of Jesus Christ and you're like, I don't really get why this is important. I would just say, you know, even just looking at it from a very like, logical, like science, emotional, logical, whatever this category it falls into, like you're going to attract what you put out. I mean, naturally. And if you are, if you are putting the message out that you, you know, are down to dress a certain way and you're down to pose a certain way, then naturally you're going to attract the kinds of people that are going to be after you for your body, that are going to be you for what you can give them physically, that are going to be after you for the wrong reasons, and you're going to attract those kinds of people. And so it's just really important that we take the time to just really ask ourselves those questions, reflect, take it before God, like, pray about it. You know, if, if you really are wrestling with man, do I care more about name brands? And am I spending too much money on, on how I dress? Am I posting things that are inappropriate? Am I dressing inappropriately? If you feel at all a conviction as I'm talking about this, like, I would encourage you to really pray about it. I would encourage you to take it before God and just say, you know, how can I dress in a way that honors you? How can I steward the life you've given me, the body you've given me? You know, the word of God says that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, that our body does not belong to us, that it belongs to God. And because of that. We can't just flaunt our body however we want to. We are to steward our body. We are to give our body as a living sacrifice back to God. And that is our worship to Him. That is. That is what he deserves. And it's. And it's not in a way that it hurts us. It's actually in a way that it. It very much blesses and benefits us because we protect ourselves from what's not of God, which is sin, which is, you know, toxicity, which is Satan's schemes against us when we walk out the will that God has for us when we follow his word and we follow his commands and we give him our body, and we reserve ourselves for blessing. We reserve ourselves for his promises. And the people that come into line with alignment with that are going to be people that honor our bodies, that are going to be people that respect our bodies, that are going to be people that love our bodies in a way that also is honoring to God. And so it's so important that we really take the time to just, like, reflect on those things. And so that's kind of all I want to touch on for modesty. As far as flirting goes, I think I've told you guys, you know, I got voted biggest flirt in high school. Your girl got voted biggest flirt. I was a big flirt because, like I said, I really cared about getting attention from guys. And I also am a very outgoing, crazy, loud, passionate personality. And so for the longest time, I would just blame it on my personality. Like, I. I blamed flirting on my personality. I would say, no, I'm not a flirt. It's just my personality. That's a lie. That's not true. Okay? Because Jesus was the most loving person of all time, and he wasn't a flirt. Like, you can still love people well without flirting with them. And I think so often girls think I'm just being nice. Like, I'm just being nice. It's not. It's not mean. It's not. I'm not flirting. I'm just being nice. It's like, no, being. Being nice, being kind, being godly is setting boundaries, is not only respecting yourself and your God and your body, but it's also respecting the person that you're talking to. And if we're leading someone on, if we're confusing someone, if we're causing someone to have. Have, you know, lustful thoughts or lustful feelings, or we're, you know, leading them to think that we're interested in them when we're not, that's not Godly, that's not good. And we shouldn't be doing it. And it took me a long time to figure that out. Okay. It took me a minute to figure that out. I'll be honest with you guys. I, in high school, definitely was, like, the biggest flirt. I flirted with all the guys. I just love the attention. Like, I, I, I had no interest to like, like go do anything crazy. I literally just love the attention. I loved to dance. I loved to, you know, snuggle. I, I'm a very physical touch person. Like, my husband would tell you, my number one love language is physical touch. Okay? And it's true. It's my favorite thing. Even my friends would tell you that I'm always, like, playing with my friend's hair, and I want them to, like, come up and cuddle me and I want them to play with my hair. And I'm a big hugger. Like, I've always been a very physical touch person. However, we can't blame sin or, you know, compromising God's standards and God's word and God's way of living based off of, you know, I don't even know, like, trying to fit in with culture, trying to get attention, or just being honestly ignorant and oblivious to how it affects other people. Because even if it's not hurtful for you, or even if it doesn't feel like a sin for you, if it's hurtful to someone else, if it's a stumbling block for someone else, then it's a sin. Then it just, it's still a sin. And so for me, I found the rush in, you know, getting guys to like me. And then I just, But I never liked them back. And so it was like, I would just, like, flirt with guys, and then as soon as they would start to like me or pursue me, I was like, oh, no, I'm not, I'm not interested. Sorry, I'm not interested. And that, that's just not loving. That's just not kind. And it also communicates something about you that I don't think you want it to. I think it also communicates that you're a very selfish person. It communicates that you don't really know your true worth and value. It communicates that you don't really care about people and love people well. And I think if you really look at it from that perspective, it'll shape, like, how you, how you view flirting. And though, like, the words flirting are not necessarily mentioned in scripture, like, we are told that the most important commandments, the greatest commandments that Jesus gives us is to love God and love people. Found in Matthew 22, it says the two greatest commandments of anything I could tell you, of anything I could give you. Everything holds on these two things. That you should love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and that you should love your neighbor as yourself. Everything hangs on those two commandments because the Lord knew. And the Lord is telling us that if we truly learn how to love, it will trans. That. That'll bleed into everything that we do. That'll bleed into how we live our life and how we. I mean, how we treat people, how we, you know, treat ourselves and our bodies if. If we truly love God and love people. And so when it comes to flirting, you know, just be really, really careful and make sure you're, again, reflecting and asking, God, does this honor you? Is this loving you and loving people? Well, and if it's not, then I need to stop doing it and make sure that you have friends in your life that will call you out. Like, none of my friends really called me out. Or if they did, it was like a joke. It was like, oh, Maddie's a flirt, you know? Oh, yeah, that's just Maddie. She's a flirt. It's like, no. If we're truly godly friends, like, we should 100 be calling each other out and say, no, that's actually not who you are. You're not a flirt. You're a daughter of the most high God. And because you're a daughter of the King, you know who you are. Therefore, you're not trying to get that in someone else. You're not trying to get that from attention from a guy. You're trying to please God in such a way that when he. When you return to him, you hear the words, good job, my good and faithful servant. That's. That's how you're living. You're storing up for yourself eternal treasures. Not treasures here on this earth. Not a platform, not a comment, not a boyfriend, not a. Not an affirmation, not a. You're. You're storing up for yourself eternal treasures. Those are the kind of friends that we need around us that remind us of what really matters. Flirt. That's not who you are. Like, if. If you're. If you're a follower of Jesus, make sure you're not allowing these labels to be put on you or you're not coming into agreement with these labels that aren't godly, that aren't of God. Oh, I'm a people pleaser. No, you're not. You're a child of God. And it says in Galatians110 that you either live for the approval of people or you live for the approval of God. You cannot do both if you live for the approval of people. If you live to please people, you are not a bond servant of Christ. Therefore, as a follower of Jesus, you are not a people pleaser. So don't come into agreement with that. Don't allow that label, that identity to define you. Don't speak that over yourself. We have to be so careful with the I am statements we come into agreement with and that we speak over ourselves. Oh, I'm just a flirt. Oh, I'm just boy crazy. Oh, I'm just, you know, I'm just stupid. Oh, I'm just. That's just how I am. That's just my personality. No, because what happens is, is when we become. When we become a follower of Jesus Christ, he makes us a new creation. Therefore, we can't continue to walk in the same old sinful patterns. We can't continue to look like the rest of the world and call ourselves Christians. We can't dress like the rest of the world and call ourselves Christians. We can't date like the rest of the world and call ourselves Christians. No matter how logical or justifiable it may seem. Oh, I'm just gonna live with my boyfriend because it saves me money. No, that's. That's just not the most godly thing that you should be doing. Because it tells us to flee from all sexual sin. It tells us to flee from anything that even appears to be a sin. Like, we shouldn't even as a believer, as a follower of Christ, we should also be like, okay, the appearance of sin is also confusing to people. Like, I. I don't want to even have an appearance of sin. I don't want sin to even be near me or around me. I don't want to flirt with sin. Talk about flirting. I don't want to flirt with sin. And to be honest, so many of us flirt with sin and then wonder why we fall into it. So many of us try and dance with the line of impurity and then wonder why, you know, down the road, we didn't pursue a lifestyle of purity. So many of us are living as close to the line as we possibly can and then wondering why we're falling off the cliff. We shouldn't be trying to get as close as we can to sin. We should be trying to get as close to holiness and purity as we possibly can. The Question is not how far is too far. The question is, how close to Jesus can I get and how can I glorify him with my life, with my body, and with my relationships? If we are followers of Jesus Christ, we're not trying to push boundaries. We're not trying to get close to sin. We're trying to flee from it. We're trying to run from it. We're trying to cut it off. It says in Matthew 6 that it is better for us to cut off our arm, it is better for us to cut off our hand, than to fall into sin and to enter into hell. You know, with two perfectly good hands. It's like, it is better for you to go through life lame. It is better for you to go through life crippled and enter into heaven than to go through life with all of your body parts and go to hell. Because Jesus is being so intense about it. Because if we don't kill sin, sin will kill us. We have to be intense with sin because sin is intense with us. We can't tolerate sin, we can't flirt with sin, we can't befriend sin. We have to run from it, we have to flee from it, and we have to cut it off. I was actually reading the other day in Second Corinthians 7, and it was talking about how we should throw off and cut off and get rid of anything that contaminates body and spirit out of perfecting holiness, out of reverence for God. And so we should be constantly looking for ways to cut off, get rid of, you know, die to anything that is not of God, that does not glorify God, that is not from God, anything that contaminates our body or our spirit. Because we are called to be holy. He is holy. Therefore we are holy. We are to pursue holiness out of reverence for God. And it talks about in Proverbs 31, you know, we all know Proverbs 31. We want to be a Proverbs 31 woman. We say that, right? But then sometimes our actions don't follow that. And so I just want to continue to encourage you guys, like, be a woman of the Word and be a woman who follows what the Word says. And so not just a. A hearer of the Word or a reader of the Word, but a doer of the Word. Be a doer of the Word. Be a actual Proverbs 31 woman. And not just someone you want to be one day or someone you hope to be, but be that now. Like, you can choose to be that now. And it says in Proverbs 31, 30, charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Because charm, it's gonna. It's. It's deceptive. It's. It's deceiving. One day you look cute, and another day you don't. One day, you know, you're attractive and. And another day you're not. Because that's just life. Like, sometimes I wake up and I got zits all over my face. Sometimes I wake up and your girl doesn't know how to dress. Sometimes I wake up and my breath really stinks. And so if Grant was only drawn to me because of, you know, my. My charm and how I charmed him, well, that's going to be a very, very, very unsatisfying, unhappy marriage. And it also says beauty is fleeting. Like my. My looks. Your looks. We're getting older, guys. Every day, we're a day older than we were the. The day before. And so we're. We're. Our looks. Looks are fading. Our looks. We're getting older, you know, and that's why we don't put our hope in what we look like, because our beauty is fading. Our beauty is go. And that's why we want to have an unfading beauty of an inward, gentle, and quiet spirit. We want our spirit to have this unfading. No matter how old we get, no matter what we go through, our. Our spirit is constant. Our spirit is rooted in Jesus. Because the woman who fears the Lord is the one to be praised. That's who we should, you know, strive to be. We should strive to be a woman who fears God. We should strive to have it said about us. Not that we're the most beautiful person in the room, you know, not that we have the best style in the room, not that we have the most aesthetic Instagram in the room, but that we are a woman who fears the Lord. That's the best compliment any of us could ever get. Hey, I love the way you love Jesus. You're someone who really fears the Lord. Hey, what. What would. Something you would say about me? How would you describe me? You're someone who fears God. You're someone who. Who has strong convictions, and you're unwavering in those convictions because of your love for Jesus. That's what we want said about us, guys. Not that we turn heads. Not that we have a cool Instagram, not that we, you know, have great style and an awesome closet. Those things are Fading. Those things don't matter. Those things you can't take with you to heaven. Those things will pass away in 10 years, 20 years from now. We want to be women who have an unfading, gentle, and quiet spirit. We want to be women who fear God, who love God above all else. And therefore, we attract people. We draw in people. They're drawn to our spirit. They're drawn to our heart and love for Jesus. And, you know, that's something that I pray over my daughter. That's something that I have prayed over myself just as I've continued to walk with the Lord. And, you know, even when I was going on the Bachelor, like, one of my biggest prayers, truly, like, just being honest with you guys, was, I want people to be drawn to me. I want the Bachelor to be drawn to me. I want the girls, like the friends that I'm gonna make, to be drawn to me. I want, you know, the producers, the behind the scenes people to be drawn to me because of my spirit. I want them to be drawn to the fruits of the spirit, to the love of Jesus. I want them to sense that there's something different and unique about me. Not what I look like, not the clothes that I wear, not how crazy, fun, my personality. I want them to be drawn to my spirit because I want them to be drawn to Jesus. Like, what? The best thing I have to offer people is the Jesus inside of Maddie. The worst thing I could offer people is Maddie apart from Jesus. And so therefore, I don't want to separate the two. I want Jesus to be in every aspect of my life. I want Jesus to be represented on my Instagram page. I want Jesus to be represented in my closet. I want Jesus to be represented in my bank account. I want Jesus to be represented in my relationships. I want Jesus to be represented in how I treat people and how I. How I love people and how I. How I view myself. I want Jesus to be represented in all of that. And so I really, really pray you guys that this was encouraging to you because it's so easy for us to just kind of beatbop through life and not really think about these things, but then wonder why we suffer from consequences or wonder why, you know, we keep experiencing the same results or wonder why we keep falling for the same kinds of people or, you know, receiving the same feedback from people. And it's. It's not until we do something different that we're gonna get different results. And so I want to encourage you guys, it's so important, the way you dress, the Way you talk, the things you post, you know, the way you treat people, the way you engage with someone that maybe you're attracted to or someone that you're. You're entertaining. The. The way you go through life, how you date and handle relationships, how all of that should be a reflection of your love for Jesus and his love for you. It should. We, we are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We are called to radiate his glory to this world. We are called to. To literally be image bearers of God. And so what image are you bearing and what image are you trying to uphold? What are you trying to communicate with your image? Are you trying to reflect the image of culture? Are you trying to reflect the image of Christ? Are you trying to keep up with the Joneses? Are you trying to keep up with Christ? Are you trying to flirt with sin? Or are you trying to be as close to Jesus and holiness as you possibly can be? Because it says in God's Word, blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see, see God. Therefore, we. We pursue purity not because it's the right thing to do or because, you know we're going to get this big blessing from God. We pursue purity because it's in God's Word. Because. Because it leads us to God's presence. Because it leads us to God's purpose for our life. Because it leads us to more of a fulfilled, joyful, confident contentment within ourselves. Ourselves. Like, we pursue purity not just because God. Yes, because God commands us to, but also because of, like, it's a blessing for us. Like, He. He calls us to these things, not to withhold from us. He doesn't call us to purity, to withhold from us. He calls us to purity, to bless us. He calls us to purity because he knows that's what we were created for, that before the foundations of the world. It says in Ephesians 1:4, we were called and created to be holy and blameless in his sight. We were called to be holy before the foundations of the world, before we took our first breath. We were created to be holy. So when we go against that, we're going against our original design and we're going to constantly be left feeling frustrated, discontent, confused. And I don't want that for you guys. I want you guys to be confident in who you are. I want you to know your worth and value and not look to other people to give it to you. I want you to be so sure of who you are in Christ Jesus. I want you to know the Word But I also want you to follow the word. I don't want you to just have this cute little coffee, quiet time, and then just leave it there. I want you to apply it to your life. I want you to pray the house down. I want you to live it out. I want you to give it to other people. I want your faith to not just be for you. I want you to deposit your faith into other people. I want your faith to carry into your relationships. I want your faith to carry into your everyday life. We shouldn't have compartmentalized faith. Our faith should be everything that we do. It should bleed into everything that we do and in everything that we are and in who, you know, who we are at work, who we are in our relationships, who we are with our family, who we are with our friends. Like, we should have a consistent track record when it comes to our faith. It should be a part of our everyday life, and we should be doers of the Word in all aspects. And so, you guys, I didn't know where this episode was gonna go, but it just took off. And I feel like, you know, the Lord really. The Lord moved, and I hope this was encouraging to you guys. No matter where you are relationally, there's always ways that we can be challenging ourselves. Does this glorify God? What is this communicating? What is. What message is this sending? As someone who loves to shop, as someone who likes nice things, like, I'm just being honest. As someone who, you know, does care about what people think, there are. There are so many moments I have to continue every day. To choose to die to myself, to choose the holy route, to choose purity, to choose what God's word says over what culture says or over even what I feel. And so having people around me and asking those questions and taking it to God in prayer has been a lifeline for me. And I hope that that is encouraging to y'all. Encourage. I love y'all. I want to know how this episode encouraged you and challenged you. And I want to know what God's teaching you right now. I want to know what you want to hear next. I want to know who you want to hear on the podcast. And I just love you guys, as always. Be sure to stay you and stay true. I love you.