Blood Type: Marinara (Will Arnett, Part 2)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: “Blood Type: Marinara” (Will Arnett, Part 2)

Date: February 26, 2026 | Host: SmartLess Media
Guests: Will Arnett, with frequent contributions from Jason Bateman

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Episode Overview

In the second half of their deep, rollicking conversation with Will Arnett, comedians Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally (with Jason Bateman guesting throughout) dig into the messy, honest realities of health, wellness, and navigating turbulent lives as actors, dads, and perpetual party-guys. The talk ricochets from the absurdities of family life and showbiz, to the challenges of healthy routines, aging, and the humiliating grounding effect of loved ones. The banter stays both playful and introspective, with long, unscripted detours into comedic memories, career insecurities, and genuine admiration for their craft and each other.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. International Filming & Jetlag Mayhem

[01:24 – 07:07]

• Will’s in New Zealand for a TV show, with stories about tumultuous travel between NZ and London ("The shitty thing is that I've been going back and forth to London to do the Beatles movies." – Will, 06:22).
• Frequent travel derails healthy routines: “That’s when my wheels fall off health wise.” – Adam (07:07)

2. The Humbling Effects of Family

[03:10 – 05:59]

• Funny, humbling stories about kids and siblings keeping them grounded as entertainers.
• Will’s son asks for another writer’s number, dismissing Will’s own credits: “Yeah, but I want to talk to a real writer.” – Will’s son (04:09)
• Bateman’s son mocks his movie posters, and Will recaps teens' irreverent gags.

3. The Difficulty of Maintaining Healthy Habits on the Road

[07:07 – 08:02]

• Extended travel makes it near-impossible to stick to routines.
• “If I'm home and I have like a normal schedule, I'm. I'm a fucking monk...the second it’s like this weekend, don’t forget, you’re in San Francisco… all of a sudden the wheels are...I guess I’ll eat this Banh Mi off the floor.” – Adam (07:07)

4. The Challenge of Authentic Dramatic Acting

[08:02 – 13:18]

• Jason shares the nuanced challenge of “just being a person in the world” on film, appreciating subtle, behavioral acting versus character bits.
• Bateman: “So much of it...are really silent moments where there’s nothing said and it’s just behavior…trying to do that in a way that is believable...that’s the real trick.” (09:07)
• High praise for actors like Benicio del Toro and Wagner Moura and insights from a roundtable with them:
  • “There’s this moment...she goes, you know, the idea of imposter syndrome…he literally goes, what is that?” – Jason, about Benicio del Toro (11:23)
  • The awe at del Toro’s lack of imposter syndrome is contrasted with their own self-doubt.
• Comedy vs. drama: They discuss how comedy offers immediate feedback (laughs), whereas drama is ambiguous and harder to gauge.

5. Friendship, Trust, and Creative Collaboration

[14:05 – 15:15]

• Bateman and Arnett discuss the importance of having trusted collaborators, using Bradley Cooper as an example:
  • “It was such a luxury to have somebody that I trust…who’s gonna look at me…(and) just shakes his head…if he nods at me, we’re moving on and that—he feels satisfied.” – Jason (14:36)

6. Underrated Performers and Genre Talk

[15:04 – 18:01]

• Will and Adam praise Jason Bateman as both a comic straight man and underrated actor, referencing his performance in “Black Rabbit.”
• The group riffs on the unique difficulties and rewards of being a comic “straight man.”

7. Healthy Routines, Aging, and Staying Sharp

[20:00 – 25:02]

Jason Bateman’s Morning Routine ([20:00–23:18])

• 6:00 AM “best hour” alone, coffee, then outdoor word games on NYT (Wordle, Quordle, Octordle).
• “I’m dreaming about that morning coffee the night before…I can’t wait. It’s like the most—it’s downhill every day it’s downhill from the morning coffee.” – Jason (20:42)
• Discussion of cognitive and neuroplasticity benefits of word games and learning new things.
• Adam’s daily Duolingo Spanish streak: “I’m like 1800 days in...I started learning a language for dementia prevention and for like, neuroplasticity.” (21:44)

Exercise and Routine Disruption

• Exercise is fit in ad hoc around showbiz schedules, contrasting LA and NY lifestyles:
  • LA: mornings feel “longer,” easier to plan exercise.
  • NY: more frenetic, “a 9:15 dinner reservation in New York doesn’t feel crazy…in LA…I’m like watching the third episode of the show” (25:17–25:28).

8. Media, Content, and Self-Parody

[29:34 – 32:18]

• Extended riffing on the cult status (and box office flop) of The Brothers Solomon and a comedic idea to remake it on its meager box office earnings.
• Dissection of content-saturated media culture: “I’m just breathing content,” Will quips (31:42)
• Meta-humor: Joking about movies promoting themselves within themselves, like F1.

9. Long-Distance Parenting Logistics

[32:34 – 34:15]

• Will on keeping in touch with his kids from the opposite hemisphere, FaceTiming at odd hours.
• His youngest is obsessed with flying business class: “I just don’t think I can make a flight like that without business class.” – Will’s son (33:22)

10. The Absurd World of Spec Influencing & Social Media

[34:09 – 34:44]

• Adam and Will mock influencer culture—sponsored posts about dubious supplements and unsolicited “spec” content.

11. Inspiration and Real Talk on Aging & Body Maintenance

[35:05 – 36:59]

• “It was so inspiring to sit with him...The only thing that bummed me out was just how hard it seems to be thin.” – Will (36:03)
• Discussing the mounting challenge of healthy living through their 40s and how hard it seems in your 50s.
• “He’s not going to sushi because he’s gonna eat the rice. I’m about to go eat my weight in rice.” (36:43)
• Acceptance that health journeys, setbacks, and indulgences are all part of the ride.

12. Closing Bits, Listener Callouts & Comedy

[37:38 – End]

• Adam and Will riff on conveyor belt sushi as the ultimate self-care (“lay sideways with your mouth open and just shit out the plastic container on the other end” – Adam, 37:18).
• Host outro: Encouragement for new listeners to check out more episodes with “truly awful people—you’ll have to figure out who.”

Notable Industry Anecdote

[39:04 – 40:12]

• Jason tells a story about being delightfully roasted by David Spade:
  • “He makes you look like you’re a good actor.” (39:18)
  • Discussion of the comic rite-of-passage, being roasted by Spade.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the absurdity of celebrity run-ins with infamy:

  • "One of our guests was Deepak Chopra, who ended up being all over the Epstein files. And in one of the files, he sends one of our sketches to Jeffrey Epstein and Epstein responds like, 'hahaha, they nailed it.' No. Yeah." — Will Arnett ([02:13–02:47])

• On kids keeping you humble:

  • “I have billboards with just a big middle finger in the foreground and then my head in the background.” – Will (03:25)
  • “Yeah, but I want to talk to a real writer.” – Will’s son (04:09)

• On imposter syndrome:

  • “She goes...the idea of imposter syndrome…is that something that ever...that you ever think about Benicio? And he literally goes, ‘What is that?’” – Jason Bateman recounting Benicio del Toro’s response ([11:23])

• On acting challenges:

  • “It’s much easier to go in and have a wooden leg and an eye patch and lean into it...than it is to just be a person in the world.” – Jason (09:08–09:41)

• On comedy as validation:

  • “Comedy...has a definitive resolution. Like, you’re getting a laugh. And so you’re…completing the task in a way where, like, you understand the binary of success.” – Adam (13:18–13:35)

• On healthy routines:

  • “I can’t wait. It’s like the most—it’s downhill every day it’s downhill from the morning coffee.” – Jason (20:42)
  • “It’s cool. It makes me feel powerful that—I set out to learn something and then started to achieve it. You rarely complete, in our industry…it’s kind of hard to, like, do exactly what you want to do ever.” – Adam, on Duolingo (22:13)

• On being inspired by peer success:

  • “I just am so inspired by…the work that you’re doing. Like, truly, it’s the hope that, like, I can do anything, which often you don’t get that.” – Will (26:26)
  • “It is true that if I can do it, anybody could do it.” – Jason (26:50, mocking self)

• On body maintenance in aging:

  • “The only thing that bummed me out was just how hard it seems to be thin…I would just assume that you hit a stride…but even him who’s in incredible shape...it sucks. Like, it’s a lot of hard work, it sucks.” – Will (36:03–36:32)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:24 – Will’s New Zealand trip, family banter, the realities of trans-hemisphere acting
• 03:10 – Kids and humility; showbiz life through a family lens
• 07:07 – Healthy living derailed by travel; food & exercise struggles
• 08:02 – “Behavioral acting” challenges and actor admiration
• 11:23 – Benicio del Toro & imposter syndrome
• 13:18 – Comedy’s clear rewards vs. dramatic ambiguity
• 14:05 – Importance of creative trust (Bateman/Cooper)
• 20:00 – Jason’s highly structured morning brain routine
• 23:32 – Exercise and life in LA vs. NY
• 29:34 – “Cult classic” comedy and the economics of making movies
• 32:34 – Long-distance parenting, kids & creature comforts
• 34:09 – Dark corners of influencer culture
• 35:05 – Real talk: aging, health, what it really takes to stay thin
• 39:04 – David Spade story and roasts as rite-of-passage

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Tone & Style

• Honest, highly self-deprecating, and never too far from a punchline.
• Will, Adam, and Jason shift between irreverent riffing and sincere, sometimes vulnerable confession.
• Freewheeling, sometimes chaotic, but shot through with genuine camaraderie and industry insight.

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Summary

This episode is an unfiltered hang among true friends, blending inside baseball takes on acting and comedy with raw admissions of health slip-ups and the everyday struggle to “stay alive”—physically, mentally, and comedically—as aging entertainers and parents. While the laughter never stops, the meat of the conversation reveals a universal struggle: how to keep one’s footing—and sense of self—amid shifting schedules, changing bodies, and showbiz absurdities.

Transcript

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[Jason Bateman]

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[Jason Bateman]

See terms smart less medium.

[Adam Pally]

Welcome back to Staying Alive for the second part of our interview with our pod father, the hilarious Will Arnett. Hard not to say his name like that. If you've come over from the Smartless feed, welcome, hit subscribe or follow or whatever your app says to do. Stick around. Listen to some of our other reps. Just a reminder, our episodes are available in full video versions on the Smartless Media YouTube page. But for please enjoy the second half of this funny and deep conversation with Will and do us a favor, please, from Adam, Pally and I to you, stay alive.

[Jason Bateman]

Wait, wait, Adam, are you, are you in New Zealand now?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

How long you been there?

[Will Arnett]

I've been here two weeks. I got four more to go.

[Adam Pally]

How is Friday? Tell us about what Friday's like. We're still in Thursday over here.

[Will Arnett]

It's nice here. I mean, yeah, four more weeks on

[Adam Pally]

this more Epstein stuff coming out on Friday.

[Will Arnett]

So I can't come back to all the rest of the files. Dude, I was in the files.

[Adam Pally]

I know. That's so awesome.

[Will Arnett]

I was in the files.

[Adam Pally]

I can't believe I said, I know. That's so awesome. We definitely need to contextualize that rapidly.

[Will Arnett]

I don't know if you remember this because it was not a huge success, but like, I guess about 10 years ago, 2015, I created a show called the President show that was Comedy Central.

[Jason Bateman]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

With Anthony Tammany.

[Will Arnett]

Anthony playing Donald Trump.

[Jason Bateman]

Yes.

[Will Arnett]

And we had on a lot of times we would have on these guests that were like, they, they knew it was an impersonator, but they didn't know it was like Borat esque. They didn't know how hard he was going to go and push them politically. And one of our guests was Deepak Chopra, who ended up being all over the Epstein files.

[Jason Bateman]

Right.

[Will Arnett]

And in one of the files, he sends one of our sketches to Jeffrey Epstein and Epstein responds like, hahaha, they nailed it. No. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, that's so. I don't know how to respond.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're going to end up in the Epstein files, people credit giving you credit for your sketch. TV shows.

[Will Arnett]

Speaking of, like, speaking of like funny 14 year olds. Then my son told all his friends that his dad was in the Epstein fight.

[Jason Bateman]

My son sent me a picture of the poster from my movie at a bus stop over on Ventura in Studio City. Had his friend take it and he's got his ass next to my face pretending to fart and then. And sends it to me.

[Will Arnett]

I have so many of those. I have billboards with. With just a big middle finger in the foreground and then my head in the background.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I don't have kids, but I have two younger brothers who are assholes. And it is like a great way to stay humble every time you start to think your job is like super serious and like, yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, my goal. Cole came home the other day and he goes, can I have David Casp's phone number? And I was like, yeah, why? And he's like, well, I want to. We have to interview someone who does a job that we may want to do. And he's a comedy writer, so I thought I'd interview him. And I was like, oh, well, you

[Jason Bateman]

know,

[Will Arnett]

pretty much any show David created, I wrote it with him. And he's like, yeah, but I want to talk to a real writer.

[Adam Pally]

That'll get you go.

[Will Arnett]

I was like, this whole house, this whole. I'll burn this whole fucking house down.

[Jason Bateman]

My 15 year old also sent me. He sent me a picture of. He sent me a picture of. I guess they were at their school and there was like a game there and there was another school there. And he sends me a picture of Bateman, who he's with Bateman. He says, I just ran into this little twink. Oh, I love that because you know,

[Will Arnett]

you know, he didn't. Jason didn't see that. So the picture's like.

[Jason Bateman]

And he wasn't include. Yeah, Jason wasn't included on the, on the text. I told him, baby's like, that killed him.

[Adam Pally]

That's so awesome.

[Jason Bateman]

So good, right? That's great. That's so good.

[Will Arnett]

I feel like that's. Those are the moments where I feel most like, oh, I did good. Like, those are the moments where I'm like, grades. I'm like, I don't care. Like, but when something like that happens and I feel like humor and intellect, even if it's at my expense I'm like, oh, that's, this is great.

[Jason Bateman]

It's so good. And I have like. This morning I was trying to get them out the door to go to school. I was like, guys, you gotta go. My 17 year old drives, so they both go together and I go, and I go to my 17, I'm like, hey man, you gotta. And my 15 year old over my shoulder goes, how many times do we need to tell you? Like, he starts doing this and I'm like, dude, relax, hang on a second.

[Adam Pally]

Let me just. Dad for a minute here.

[Jason Bateman]

But I'm also like, God, that's so funny. That's such a funny instinct.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, it's great. Oh my God.

[Jason Bateman]

Wait, what are you doing in New Zealand? Tell me.

[Will Arnett]

I'm doing a New Zealand television show about an American billionaire who is extradited to New Zealand.

[Jason Bateman]

Is it based on a true story

[Adam Pally]

or it's just based on how culturally all the billionaires.

[Will Arnett]

Because all the billionaires. Yeah, but it's by these, it's. Yeah, it's by these really funny New Zealand comics. And they're, they're, they're great. And the script was funny, you know, and I was like, that's fun, man. Yeah, I was like, this is great. And it's, it's, it's such a good part. And I was like, fuck, that sounds great. The shitty thing is that I've been going back and forth to London to do the Beatles movies.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, that sounds like a really shitty thing.

[Jason Bateman]

No, no. Are you really? No, it does sound shitty.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, yes, yeah, yeah. Champagne problems, but, but definitely a gi problem.

[Will Arnett]

And this week, this week was like, I did not know where I was,

[Adam Pally]

but that's when my wheels fall off health wise. Like will, I'm sure, because, you know, you're bicoastal and have to travel for work. That's when my fucking. If I'm home and I have like a normal schedule, I'm. I'm a fucking monk. I'm in that. I'm doing the best shit for myself. Yeah, the second it's like this weekend, don't forget, you're in San Francisco doing shows and then Monday you got to go and all of a sudden the wheels are. And I don't just go like, oh shit, I skipped exercise. I'm like, okay, I guess I'll eat this Banh Mi off the floor or whatever, you know?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, that was, that was actually going back to the last three months, like doing all this stuff. I was all over the place. And that was the tough Part was trying to eat right and forcing myself to like, go to the gym at the hotel. And it's 6am There, but it's actually 1am In LA and, or, or 9pm the night before, actually. And, you know, and just trying to do it. That, that part was hard, but I

[Will Arnett]

do think that there's. There, There is something to that. And the movie that you just made, which is almost more. More chat. Why was going to say it's almost more challenging to do what you just did? Because, like, I find the hardest moments that I have as an actor on set are where, like, someone gives me a. A video game controller.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Will Arnett]

You know what I mean?

[Adam Pally]

Something that actually is in your bones and. Yeah, yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Or like. And they're like, okay, so you're playing video games and you come in and then it's like this small thing has taken up all my mental space of like, I look real playing it and

[Jason Bateman]

whatever, dude,

[Will Arnett]

it's like, boom. Real life. Like, you don't feel it.

[Jason Bateman]

It's all real life. And that was, that was a challenge. You. You hit it right on the head. You. That. That was the, you know, so much of it with the, you know, it's a talkie movie. But there are also a lot of like, really silent moment, quiet moments where there's nothing said and it's just behavior. So it's a lot of like, coming home and, like, coming in the apartment and. And putting your keys on the counter and then walking into the other room.

[Adam Pally]

So easy to overthink.

[Jason Bateman]

And there's a lot of shit going on right in that moment with him, with this guy. And what is that? And so trying to do that in a way that is believable and just to try to really make it authentic is. Yeah, that's the real trick. I mean, it's. As we just said, it's kind of easier to go in and have a wooden leg and an eye patch and lean into it. Yeah, it's much easier to do that than it is to go and like, just be a person in the world. And so you look at. And you look at these guys, like, the guys who I, you know, who are amazing. You look at a guy who is just so effortless. I look at like, Benicio Del Toro, man, this dude.

[Adam Pally]

Great, Paul.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, this dude, he does stuff we don't know. I don't think that we all appreciate how good he is at what he does. It's so insanely good what he does because he's. He's doing so wagner Mura in that movie, the Secret Agent. Same thing.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, yeah, I gotta see that.

[Will Arnett]

Everyone's talking about.

[Jason Bateman]

It's just behavior. What he does in that movie is so insane. Both those guys. And that was one of the cool things was going on this ride for the last few months. I got to do a roundtable with Wagner Moura and Benicio del Toro.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, you got to do like a couple.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, that's the fact that. Dude, that's worth the price of admission.

[Jason Bateman]

Table. Yeah. And I found myself. And I. And I knew Jesse Plemons a little bit before in Wagner. I've known him for a bunch of years. And we were talking before and I was saying, like, I was telling them, like, yeah, for me, it's so weird that I'm here because I've always. This isn't my world. And so then we. I'm sitting there in Wagner, it's Wagner and then it's me. And then Benicio Del Toro and then Jacob Elordi and Stellan Skarsgard and Jesse Plemons, right? And I'm like, I'm this ding dong from Toronto. What am I doing here? And, and, and talk. Talking about all this stuff. And it was, it was so dope listening to those guys talk about it. And I just. But one of the coolest moments because again, I just, I really don't think people appreciate how good Benicio really is. Right?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

And he. There's this moment, this woman who's running the thing, she was really cool and she was. And she goes, so she'd ask a question, she'd ask him, and she goes, you know, there's that. The idea of imposter syndrome. I don't know if it's in the thing or not. I didn't end up watching the thing, but it was on the LA Times, if you want to go check it out. She goes, you know that idea of imposter syndrome, is that something that ever. That you ever think about Benicio? And he literally goes, what is that? And I'm like, oh, my God, he doesn't even know the concept of it. And by the way, he's not even being funny. He goes, no, literally, he goes, what are you talking about? She goes, you know, the idea that he's like, no, I don't even. And I look at Jesse Plemons, we're like, wow, this is on a different level, man.

[Adam Pally]

He really is. That's. I believe that.

[Will Arnett]

I believe he's got Brando shit.

[Jason Bateman]

Of course I believe it. I mean, this Guy's a fog genius, man.

[Adam Pally]

He's got. He's got that energy that I think a lot of really great actors who are in the pocket, like Benicio is. He's got that energy where you watch his movies and you go, like, this is easy for him because this is who he really is. This is. But then you watch 10 of his movies, you're like, well, there's no way he's the fucking Sicario. Day of Solidado and. And the Sensei and this guy and fucking Usual Suspects. No, he's just that good of an actor that when you see him and you're like, oh, that's who. Benicio, really.

[Jason Bateman]

But all those guys have in common, whether it's. Whether it's Wagner or Benicio or Jesse or Stan Skarsgard or even. And Jacob Elordi, all those guys, they do it so effortlessly. And that's the kind of the gold standard that I. When I look at. I'm like, that's. That's where I want to play.

[Adam Pally]

Meanwhile, you're suffering from.

[Jason Bateman]

You know what I mean?

[Adam Pally]

Your Benicio doesn't know what imposter syndrome is. And you're feeling it at that table and you're like, I'm experiencing it right now, 100%. But it's just a different.

[Will Arnett]

It's like a different muscle, though, because comedy. Comedy is, like, has a resolution at the end of it is like a definitive resolution. Like, you're getting a laugh. And so you're. You're. You're completing the task in a way

[Adam Pally]

where, like, well, you understand the binary of success, where you're like, if the person. If the scene ends up being funny. I did my job. Yeah, but then you're like, I can't really tell the subjectivity of. Did I dramatically affect someone from this moment in my thing? And you're like, I've. I need that. Honestly, even doing comedy, not in front of an audience is, like, difficult sometimes because you're like, was that even funny? I don't even know anymore. I'm spiraling, you know, like, you lose confidence in, like, your own taste in those moments.

[Will Arnett]

And Bradley. But you got Bradley there to bring you back.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, exactly. And so when I'm. That. That's exactly true. And that's why. That's why it was such a luxury to have somebody that I trust who I know is gonna tell me the truth, who's gonna go, who's gonna look at me? We're gonna do a take and he's gonna put the camera down and all you know, and they sort of yell, cut. And everybody's sort of moving around. He looks at me and just goes like this and just shakes his head, and there's no fanfare. There's no nothing. And I go. I know that he's been looking down, and if he nods at me, we're moving on and that. And that he feels satisfied that we got. That's it.

[Adam Pally]

And that's not true for every collaborator. Like, if someone else nods, you're not like, I don't know if we got it. But Bradley, a friend who you trust, who is a proven talent as a director and actor, do you feel.

[Will Arnett]

Do you feel now a sense that you need to be Bradley for Sean?

[Adam Pally]

If each one of you guys took turns directing the other two in dramatic movies, that would be such a fun. I would. I would be part of the raising money.

[Jason Bateman]

Jason could do it. Jason's Jason.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Become such a great director in his own right, you know, and he's got such a great sense of it, and it's funny, too. And he's such a great. He's such a great actor. I think Jason's a really underrated actor too.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, man. He's king of straight.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, I inhaled black rabbit.

[Jason Bateman]

I inhaled black rabbit.

[Adam Pally]

My friends created it, and I was like, oh, I'll check it out.

[Jason Bateman]

Think about how super funny he is. You're right. And he's the greatest straight man of all time. Right?

[Adam Pally]

I mean, he's very funny and the greatest straight man all time. That's a very difficult combination.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Adam's got people entering his hotel.

[Jason Bateman]

You don't want. Turn down. No, turn down. I always say every time just to make my kids. Every time they make my kids sick when they come in and I go. I look at my kids, I go, turn down for what? And they're all like, oh, my God. They're like that. That's the worst. But you only get those opportunities every once in a while. You got to take those shots. I had an opportunity once. I don't know why I'm telling. This is so stupid. It's so off topic. I was in a bookstore on Long island, and I was in there, and the guy was putting some books. I was buying these books. He was putting them in a bag, and he had a cat that was running around, and the cat jumps in, and he goes, oh, no. And I had the bag, and I looked at him, and I got to say in real time, do you want me to let the cat out of the bed? I couldn't believe I had to call a friend after I was so giddy that I got to use it in the wild.

[Adam Pally]

I hope that's what the press pulls from this.

[Will Arnett]

You are the least Canadian. Canadian, and that is the most Canadian story. I'm always waiting for your Canadianness to show up.

[Adam Pally]

It's only twice. Once when you said, I'm from Toronto. And then that moment, your story about

[Will Arnett]

how you had to call a friend and be like, dude, I said, cat in the back. The only other person had to be a good. Like, it must have been a Canadian that received the call.

[Jason Bateman]

It was an Englishman. You're not calling an American. No, no.

[Will Arnett]

Like, America be like, are you all right?

[Adam Pally]

I'm just surprised to hear they still got bookstores on Long Island.

[Will Arnett]

Why are you calling me? I thought someone died when I saw you called me. Text me. That could have been an email.

[Jason Bateman]

Why are you calling. Did they finish the wall? Did they finish. That's all Americans talk about.

[Mint Mobile Announcer]

Wall.

[Jason Bateman]

The wall. We're like. We're like, days away from talking about the wall again, aren't we?

[Will Arnett]

Well, I think Canadians are now. Like, should we build a wall?

[Jason Bateman]

Eh?

[Adam Pally]

It's gonna end up being like Game of Thrones. We're gonna have, like, a big ice wall that Jon Snow stands on and doesn't let us in. Doesn't let the fleeing libs in. When. When this. Well, you know, we don't have to get into that. Let's stay on a positive.

[Jason Bateman]

Let's keep.

[Will Arnett]

Let's keep Will from having a tagline put.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I don't have no position on anything.

[Adam Pally]

No positions.

[Jason Bateman]

You're J. Ro, baby. I don't even have. I don't even have a position on that.

[Adam Pally]

I don't know who I mean. I love him or I hate him. What's going on?

[Will Arnett]

Well, when you look at them from both, it's. It's fine.

[Jason Bateman]

Let's talk more about what I eat in the morning.

[LifeLock Announcer]

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[Adam Pally]

Visit optum.com to learn more ABC Wednesdays in comedian Nate Brigetz's new game show. To win, you don't need to know the right answer.

[Jason Bateman]

Just what most Americans think is Right.

[Adam Pally]

It's not about being the smartest. You just have to be the most average.

[Jason Bateman]

We asked 100 average Americans, do they

[Adam Pally]

keep an empty gas can in their car?

[Jason Bateman]

No. Have they ever broken a bone? No.

[Adam Pally]

I said a lot of no.

[Jason Bateman]

That's all right. My wife says a lot of no as well.

[Adam Pally]

The greatest Average American. Wednesdays 9, 8 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

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[Jason Bateman]

What do you have to lose?

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Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time

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50 off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required 45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months or 180 for 12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy see terms.

[Jason Bateman]

Do you want to know my morning routine? Do you want to. Are you interested in my morning routine?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I'd love to hear how you. Because I do believe.

[Will Arnett]

What do you mean morning routine?

[Jason Bateman]

It is. I have a routine. What does it do like 5, 6, 7, 8. And it just keeps me in shape. No, I have.

[Adam Pally]

I do the rhythm nation dance every morning when I wake.

[Jason Bateman]

I have a. I have every morning I wake up. I wake up. I'm an early riser. I'm a 6am guy and I get. Because I want that. I want an hour before everybody else.

[Will Arnett]

Right?

[Adam Pally]

So it's the best hour.

[Jason Bateman]

It's the best hour. And I wake up, I think about my morning coffee the night before.

[Adam Pally]

Relatable.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm dreaming about that morning call. I can't wait. It's like the most. It's downhill every day it's downhill from the morning coffee. And I wake up and I make my coffee and I go outside and I play my little word games.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, New York Times games.

[Jason Bateman]

I play the wordle a quartal and Akturtle which is the eight. Quartal is the four boards. Octurtle is the eight every morning I never miss a morning on a little

[Will Arnett]

and is that prescriptive for dementia or is that like I like.

[Jason Bateman]

It does wake up my brain for 100 and I just.

[Will Arnett]

And I know like I. I've been told by people that word games specifically like ones that are not. Not like crosswords but like actual. Not where you're finding information but where you're using the information given.

[Jason Bateman]

Yes.

[Will Arnett]

Is are supposed to be really stimulating.

[Adam Pally]

I do duolingo on the toilet every single morning.

[Jason Bateman]

What are you learning?

[Adam Pally]

Spanish. I'm like 1800 days in. I have like an insane streak.

[Jason Bateman]

That's great.

[Adam Pally]

Crazy. Yeah, I'm jealous. I started learning a language for dementia prevention and for like, neuroplasticity and all that stuff, and now it's, like, stuck with me and I'm like, on the path to being bilingual. It's like, really exciting.

[Jason Bateman]

That is cool.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it feels. You can't really like. It feels crazy to, like, learn stuff after 40. Like, to like, learn new things feels like really impossible. But then all of a sudden you're like, oh, it is possible. Like, it's great.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It makes me feel powerful that set out to learn something and then started to achieve it. It's like, it doesn't feel like you rarely complete in our industry, it's like, kind of hard to like, do exactly what you want to do ever, you

[Jason Bateman]

know, it's so you've inspired me. I'm gonna do it because I. I did get dualing you because I wanted to do that myself. I wanted to learn a language and then I kind of let it go and I. I am going to get back into it.

[Adam Pally]

Hell yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

That's a good one.

[Adam Pally]

So. So your coffee and then you're doing

[Will Arnett]

octurtle or whatever are you doing outside? Are you while you're doing that?

[Jason Bateman]

No, I'm outside.

[Will Arnett]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

Shooting outside.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm in the outhouse. I'm in a. Yeah, I'm sitting outside, like on the deck or something like that. And. And I just do that. I doctoral, which is eight quartal, which is four boards, and then end with wordle, which is one. And. And I'm. And I'm killing a dart with my

[Will Arnett]

car early in the morning for a dart.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, yeah. First thing, gotta wake up an hour

[Adam Pally]

before anyone else gets up to have solo dart time.

[Jason Bateman]

Coffee in a butt. And man, it's just. That's what I did.

[Will Arnett]

That's actually.

[Adam Pally]

We did supermodel breakfast, right?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, I did that this morning. It was amazing.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, it's really, really good. And then. And then from there on in, I can. I feel like I can hit my day. I can do anything. So I always build that in no matter what I'm doing.

[Adam Pally]

Do you exercise then or you exercise when it fits in kind of guy or how strict are you for your, like, routine that way?

[Jason Bateman]

Kind of when it. Kind of when I can fit it in, you know. Yeah, I don't have a sort of prescriptive time just because as you guys know, with our schedules are always changing and so it's like sometimes it's after the kids go to school, you know, I spend half my time in New York, so I, I quite literally half and half and, and so I always go a little different time when I'm in. I don't know. Yeah, mix it up. Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

I feel like when I'm in la I have a more. I have a better attitude towards let. Not cramming my exercise in. I feel like in New York I have this sense of like, well, I have to know when I'm exercising because it's just harder to do. There's like more things going on. But in la it's like the day is later, you're up earlier, like, you know what I mean? LA's days feel longer to me.

[Jason Bateman]

Longer and then shorter. Like what, what's weird is they're longer but the.

[Will Arnett]

It doesn't get dark there, it's always purple.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, it's always like, it's always magic hour. Yeah, yeah, I like. But like I find myself. Here's the difference. In LA, like it gets to be 7 o' clock and you're like, well, that's it.

[Adam Pally]

Well, I was just about to say I used to work out like after, like I would work out at like 9pm When I lived in Brooklyn if I had to to get it in. Now I'm like, well, it's dinner time at seven and after that literally nothing else can happen. But.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. Are you in LA now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's the way it goes. Exactly. And I, it's, it's weird. And then when I'm in New York, when I'm in New York, it's like seven o'. Clock. I'm like, well, I might have time for a quick nap and then I'll go for dinner.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I know like an 8, like a 9:15 dinner reservation in New York doesn't feel crazy in LA it's like I, I'm like watching the third episode of the show.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh. By 9:30 I won't fill up my gas tank after 9:00 clock in LA because I'm worried I'm gonna get fucking shot. You know what I mean? I'm at the mobile station, like looking over my shoulder, I'm out in the

[Adam Pally]

middle of the night.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, imagine Jay Leno in that vintage Nazi truck.

[Adam Pally]

Well, he's got the Kevlar denim suits now, so he's safe.

[Jason Bateman]

He's safe.

[Adam Pally]

They puff up like. Like, those motorcycle crash suits.

[Will Arnett]

If he. If he rolls down a hill, he' nervous. He's like, did you hear this?

[Adam Pally]

Did you hear this, Kevin? Kevin? Have you heard this, Kevin?

[Will Arnett]

Have you heard this, Kevin?

[Jason Bateman]

Did you hear that, Kevin?

[Will Arnett]

Mavis, dude. Well, this was amazing. We thank you're.

[Jason Bateman]

You're.

[Will Arnett]

You're such a men. And thank you so much for doing this and we appreciate you.

[Adam Pally]

And, yeah, thanks for helping us get a podcast and then thank you for guesting on it. We're so stoked to have you and

[Jason Bateman]

you guys, the best. You guys are so funny.

[Will Arnett]

And I'm so. I'm so, like, I just am so inspired by the. The. The, like, the work that you. That you're doing. Like, truly, it's the hope that, like, I can do anything, which often you don't get that, you know.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it does open up some, like, other exits off the highway of, like.

[Jason Bateman]

It is true.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I guess I didn't know I can drive there.

[Jason Bateman]

It is true that if I can do it, anybody could do it.

[Will Arnett]

And that's. Thank you for distilling my compliment down to its truest insult.

[Adam Pally]

Well, while we're. While we're in the vague territory of compliments and insults, my brothers would be so furious if I didn't tell you how frequently we watch Brother Solomon growing up.

[Jason Bateman]

Really?

[Adam Pally]

We fucking love that. The moment where it's either you or Will drinks the foot puddle is like one of. Yeah, it's like one of the.

[Will Arnett]

Bob.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, and Craig, baby, we're so. We're so obsessed with that movie in my house. So I just. I needed to say that for the record.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, good.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, thanks, man. You know, that was. I will say it didn't. It's one of those. First of all, it was the funniest script I ever read. Forte and John Sullivan wrote it. I mean, Bob Odenkirk and Bob Odenkirk directed. I was talking about this last night, actually, with somebody. I love Bob, and I've known him a long time, and we had done the year before or two years, whatever it was we had done let's Go to Prison that Bob directed with Dax at me. And then. And then Will had the script, and then we ended up doing. And then he was like, I'm gonna do this too. And I. You know, I was trying to explain to somebody yesterday who doesn't know a lot about comedy, I was saying, you have to understand, Bob Odenkirk is a legend. Like, to me, Like I feel like a freshman and he's a senior.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

You know, like he's just. He was just it. And is it Farley? Yeah, I mean, exactly.

[Will Arnett]

That's. Yeah, that's same game.

[Jason Bateman]

So anyway, so thanks. It was a really fun time doing that. And. And it is. It's had a bit of a cult life after, I think, that movie.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, I would put that one in your positive category.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

There you go. Because the binary of comedy. Is it funny? It doesn't matter if it like does. You know, here's.

[Jason Bateman]

Here's an idea that I thought would be funny. So Tom Werner produced both those movies and you know, of course you. Warner fame and.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, that logo. That little.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. And he owns Liverpool Football Club, which is even more now valuable. I mean, to me as a Liverpool fan. For a ticket. But anyway, so Tom. So the movie came out Brother Solomon. I think it made like $585,000 at the box office. So I said, Tom, like, like two years later, I go, what if we make a remake a Brother Solomon. But we make it for the. But the budget is what we made at the box office and see. And see what kind of Franken movie we could put together that. And I said it to Will too. That'd be a funny idea.

[Adam Pally]

That's a good.

[Jason Bateman]

Right?

[Adam Pally]

That's a great, like zero waste. Yeah, yeah. It's like made with the profits from the original, which by the way, is SAG ultra low.

[Will Arnett]

It feels like. Feels like someone would have to make that movie after flying on a private jet to offset it or something. I am flying on a private jet, but I'm also making the Brother Solomon sequel for the budget that it would it made.

[Adam Pally]

So it's like, yeah, I'm reducing my carbon footprint.

[Will Arnett]

Phineas and Billie Eilish called and they want to offset their carbon footprint by making Brother Solomon too.

[Adam Pally]

Somehow ends up being like a tax write off. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

I mean, if there are any billionaires listening and you're looking for some carbon credits, just called me up. Call my agent, we'll do it.

[Will Arnett]

My whole career is based on carbon credit. All my stuff airs on airplanes anyway, so.

[Adam Pally]

And listeners, if you haven't yet, you can get. Is this thing on? It's available on VOD and streaming right now. So check it out. Check out See Will's small moments. Putting the keys down. See Will doing stand up. It sounds fucking exciting. I know I'll be watching again.

[Will Arnett]

I heard it getting the F1 treatment.

[Jason Bateman]

It's getting the F1 treatment.

[Will Arnett]

We're gonna blast this thing everywhere.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Pally]

F1 got blasted everywhere to the point where it's the 10th best picture nominee. That's crazy.

[Will Arnett]

They literally promoted that movie into a best picture.

[Adam Pally]

Good for them. It's. It's capable. It's possible.

[Jason Bateman]

I. They promoted that movie in that movie.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, I saw a commercial for that movie.

[Adam Pally]

In the movie, Brad Pitt's like, hey, have you guys checked out this film F1 yet? Like in the middle, right in the middle of watching F. By the way,

[Jason Bateman]

they should have done that. He should be like driving. And then you see a billboard for the movie, like, as he's driving through the.

[Will Arnett]

And then when, like when you come in and you see the. His kid playing a video game. It's the F1 video game. Puts it down.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm sorry.

[Adam Pally]

I finished the race early, but I.

[Jason Bateman]

By the way, I'd vote for them, right?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. They win.

[Will Arnett]

I mean, that's what Stranger Things like pretty much. It's like, I can't tell. I'm going to see two day plays about Harry Potter over the course of a week. The whole thing is like a. I'm just breathing content.

[Adam Pally]

I'm in like an alternate reality game on behalf of 11 or something. So good we don't even realize that this is Stranger Things content that we accidentally just did.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh my God.

[Adam Pally]

This airs exclusively on the Stranger Things.

[Jason Bateman]

I am both the Duffer Brothers.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, fuck.

[Jason Bateman]

Wait, pal, what time is it there? Where, where you're at that.

[Will Arnett]

It is 1:30 in the afternoon tomorrow.

[Adam Pally]

Saturday. Friday.

[Jason Bateman]

Friday.

[Will Arnett]

Friday.

[Adam Pally]

I don't even know what day it is.

[Jason Bateman]

1:30 Friday. Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

We're shooting nights.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And Will, you're in New York right now.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm in LA right now, but.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, nice.

[Jason Bateman]

New York tomorrow.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. We're shooting nights, but nights is a little better actually, because like I get to do this thing where I FaceTime the kids when I go. Like I get to talk to them before they go to school in the morning when it's like, like eight at night here or something, like nine a night and I'm just at work and then I get to talk to them when they've. When they're going to school and you're

[Jason Bateman]

going, you're about to go to bed

[Will Arnett]

and I'm about to go to bed. So like it kind of works out, but it is a challenge.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

And my youngest son, Drake, he's like, like they're coming out here at the end, obviously, so we can take a trip. And like every time I talk to him, he's like, did you get me business class? Did you get. Are you sure? I'm flying business class.

[Adam Pally]

The dude is, like, 4ft tall.

[Will Arnett]

I'm like, what's. He's like, I just don't think I can make a flight like that without business class.

[Jason Bateman]

Then. No way. That's amazing.

[Adam Pally]

All right. Jesus Christ. Adam. Doing Instagram posts for Air New Zealand now.

[Will Arnett]

Anyone know how? Like, anyone at Qantas? Yeah, Lewis. I'm like, lewis, I need someone to

[Adam Pally]

Quantus or I can't see my kids.

[Jason Bateman]

You should just start doing unsolicited, like, in this, right?

[Adam Pally]

Spec.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, why not? Spec influencers. By the way, that is an. Oh, that is such a great area.

[Adam Pally]

A dark, dark corner of the industry there.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, that's a dark corner of the world.

[Adam Pally]

Come with me. As I take 12 hymns pills and see if I die, My hair grows 10x and my dick explodes.

[Will Arnett]

Want to see what happens? Click the like and follow button.

[Adam Pally]

Still. Still not hard that. I think that's a me problem.

[Will Arnett]

Teeth still yellow.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you again.

[Jason Bateman]

All right, boys.

[Will Arnett]

Thank you. King.

[Jason Bateman]

Good hang. Good hang.

[Will Arnett]

Good hang.

[Jason Bateman]

Dudes, you guys are the best.

[Adam Pally]

And let's get a tattoo.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Let's get tattooed.

[Will Arnett]

The best dude ever.

[Adam Pally]

Dude that I. After just talking to him, I want to, first of all, work out. Second of all, go make a film.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Hopefully Bradley Cooper's at the gym.

[Jason Bateman]

What?

[Will Arnett]

It's. It is nice to. To speak to someone who's. Who's, you know, he. He used the analogy freshman, senior.

[Jason Bateman]

And.

[Will Arnett]

And so, you know, we can use that as well, like someone who's a senior to us who is still excited about the game, you know, who's like. Who's like.

[Adam Pally]

Who's trying new. Yeah, it was making moves like, that's cool. And then also, like, he has the same struggles, you know, he's an ice cream freak. It felt good that a guy like that looks that good is an ice cream freak still. Blasting darts, popping zins, you know, like, it feels. That's. That's what I like to see, you know, it's not someone who's, like, in cryo sleep 11 hours out of the day, like, because some of these people with that level of success can kind of start to do whatever they. You know what I mean?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It's nice to hear he's normal.

[Will Arnett]

He's not measuring his son's boner, but we found out that's because his sons won't let him.

[Adam Pally]

Good on them.

[Will Arnett]

Good on them. Good on them, boys. Was. But the. The. The it was so inspiring to sit with him. And then the, the, the only thing that bummed me out was just how hard it seems to be thin, I

[Adam Pally]

think in your, in, in your, in when you're in your 50s, like you said it get. I mean we're, we experience how much more difficult the 40s are than the 30s. And so it's hard not to imagine 50s are a little more. Are difficult.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

I would just assume that you hit a stride in it, I guess where you're like, oh yeah, I'm good at it now and I know how to do it. But even him who's like in incredible shape and he's like, it sucks. Like, it's a lot of hard work. It sucks. It's like, oh God, like he's not going to sushi because he's gonna eat the rice. I'm like, I'm about to go eat my weight in rice, you know, like.

[Adam Pally]

But that's okay. Whatever works for you in different, in different times.

[Will Arnett]

That's part of the journey.

[Jason Bateman]

I know.

[Adam Pally]

You know, you ever like, I feel like a fucking like Kate Moss when I knock some of the rice off my nigiri or something like that?

[Will Arnett]

I'm literally going to walk to a conveyor belt sushi place right now so that I don't have to deal with the time between meals. Like, I don't want to wait to order. I just want to take it.

[Adam Pally]

I don't even want to interact with the waiter. I just want to be ripping things off the fucking belt. And don't. You're going to lay sideways with your mouth open and just shit out the plastic container on the other end. Yeah. Let them fall into your mouth and, and have like the little grass and all the like accoutrements fall out of your ass.

[Will Arnett]

It's like Lucille Ball.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. It's gonna be like the chocolate. Well, if you were a new listener who came on for Will Arnett. Well, thank you for staying all the way to the end. We've got tons more episodes in our feed. Check it out. A lot of funny people, a lot of interesting people. Some really truly awful people. But you'll have to figure out who they are.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

And I would love host, by the way.

[Jason Bateman]

Short answer.

[Will Arnett]

Stay alive. Got one back.

[Adam Pally]

You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pally. A smartless media production in association with Sirius xm.

[Will Arnett]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also also wrote the music associate

[Adam Pally]

producer and video producer is Matty McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano, assistant engineer Kyle McGraw.

[Will Arnett]

Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at SiriusXM.

[Adam Pally]

Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh, me. Adam Pally. Ooh, you. Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminsky. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[Will Arnett]

Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.

[Adam Pally]

Don't reach out to us.

[Will Arnett]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands.

[Jason Bateman]

Spade. I think I've told this once when he maybe was on our podcast, maybe, but he one time said to me, and it made me laugh so hard, he said so many funny things to me over the years. You know, he'll just.

[Will Arnett]

He's the best. He's funny. He's one. He's a sniper.

[Jason Bateman]

He's a sniper. So we're at some point, some thing. This is years ago. And like, we're backstage, we're on the side of the stage. I'm about to go in and. And present something or something, and this guy's up there doing this bit, but it's kind of like an anti comedy bit. Like he's doing it to try to bomb or whatever it was. It was some sort of like, meta thing and it was not working either direction. And. And so this guy's up there by me and we're on the side of the stage and Spade's in front of me and he just turns over his shoulder and he goes, goes. He makes you look like you're a good actor and then turns back. I. It made me laugh so hard, I could barely.

[Will Arnett]

He's the best. That is to be roasted by Spade. Oh, that's better than having like a.

[Jason Bateman]

Your charact.

[Will Arnett]

You're like a weird anti Semitic character drawn at Sardis.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, that's a. That's a big rite of passage. Yeah.

[Mint Mobile Announcer]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It's better than your dry cleaner saying, no, thank you. I don't need your head shot.

[Jason Bateman]

Smart. Lifelock.

[Will Arnett]

How can I help?

[LifeLock Announcer]

The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't.

[Adam Pally]

One in four taxpaying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud.

[LifeLock Announcer]

What do I do?

[Will Arnett]

My refund, though.

[Adam Pally]

I'm freaking out.

[Will Arnett]

Don't worry, I can fix this.

[Adam Pally]

Lifelock fixes identity theft, guaranteed, and gets your money back with up to $3 million in coverage.

[LifeLock Announcer]

I'm so relieved.

[Mint Mobile Announcer]

No problem.

[Jason Bateman]

I'll be with you every step of the way.

[Adam Pally]

One in four was a fraud. Paying American. Not anymore. Save up to 40% your first year visit lifelock.com special offer terms apply.