Transcript

Sophie Buttle (0:00)

Smart.

Jared Frank (0:02)

Bless me.

John Gabris (0:09)

Give it up for staying alive with john gabris and adam palace. Where do you want to sit?

Adam Pally (0:27)

I don't know. There's so many options.

John Gabris (0:30)

Spoiler alert. We're going to have two more people join us shortly, but for now. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming out to Staying Alive.

Adam Pally (0:38)

Live alive.

John Gabris (0:39)

Staying Alive. Alive.

Adam Pally (0:41)

Staying Alive.

John Gabris (0:41)

You're seeing Staying Alive Live. How does that feel? You're in rare company here. We are health and wellness influencers in Austin. You've met the only two of them.

Adam Pally (0:52)

Yeah. And we're the healthiest ones.

John Gabris (0:55)

Yeah.

Adam Pally (0:56)

Right now we kind of look like the Sklar brothers if they both died in different ways.

John Gabris (1:03)

Yeah. If they were both victims of what? Jonathan Doe from seven.

Adam Pally (1:07)

Yeah. Different. Different crimes. Different.

John Gabris (1:10)

I think. I think I'm always gluttony, baby.

Adam Pally (1:13)

And I'll always be sloth.

John Gabris (1:17)

We are in Austin, Texas, the sauna capital of the world. It just overcame Finland. We're very proud of you guys.

Adam Pally (1:26)

Yeah.

John Gabris (1:27)

This is a hot climate with more cold plunges than Iceland. We are super stoked for you guys.

Adam Pally (1:33)

This is the dumbest smart city in America and I'll give you an example of that. Your coffee shops today closed at 2pm what the fuck is wrong with you?

Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: Rangooning: A Live Staying Alive from SXSW (w/ Jared Freid and Sophie Buddle)

Date: March 26, 2026

Podcast Network: SmartLess Media

Episode Overview

Broadcast live from SXSW in Austin, this episode is a classic Staying Alive blend of comedy, confessional health talk, and barely controlled chaos. Hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally—known for their irreverent, self-lacerating takes on wellness—are joined by comedians Jared Freid and Sophie Buddle. While billed as a health and wellness podcast, the format is loose, with honesty and absurdity taking center stage. Expect stories of travel mishaps, dietary disasters, shoplifting confessions, audience banter, debates on butthole wellness, and unexpected insight on self-care and aging.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Health & Wellness, SXSW-Style

Jon and Adam riff on the health scene in Austin—joking about saunas, cold plunges, and influencer culture.
- “We are health and wellness influencers in Austin. You’ve met the only two of them.” (Jon, 00:51)
Both recount struggles to "stay alive" while traveling, trying to work out, enduring jet lag, and eating poorly:
- Jon’s green juice disaster: “On the walk back to my hotel, the green juice opened in the bag and flooded and soaked my tacos… Did that stop me from eating three of the most disgusting breakfast tacos you can imagine soaked in pineapple apple celery juice? It was brutal.” (Jon, 03:05)

2. On Being (Questionable) Health Experts

The hosts gently roast themselves and the crowd over not really living up to “wellness” branding.
- “We needed our bona fides that we are health and wellness podcasters. I soaked my food in green juice and I went to the gym.” (Jon, 04:17)

3. Civil Disobedience and Shoplifting for Health

Sophie Buddle reveals her secret to staying alive: shoplifting.
- “For me, two words. It might be one word… Shoplifting.” (Sophie, 12:14)
- She explains the dopamine hit helps with her low blood pressure: “I have really dangerously low blood pressure, and so doing anything that gives you a little hit is important.” (Sophie, 12:46)

4. Chairs Broken & Bodies Broken

Running joke about Jon breaking chairs, culminating in an onstage chair break that sparks friendly roasting.
- “This is not the first chair I broke…One of the chairs I broke was a barber chair. Those things are like—like a dentist chair.” (Jon, 09:00–09:17)
- “Thank you, Adam. Adam is doing what I requested—if this ever happens, to pretend like it happens to everybody.” (Jon, 09:29)
The group spirals into a bit about who should be the butt of the joke, literally and figuratively.

5. Medicalized Wellness: Ozempic, Wegovy, and More

Jared shares he’s on Ozempic, Jon is “on Zep”, Adam is on Wegovy, leading to a digression about prescription weight-loss drugs and Big Pharma commercials.
- “I am on Ozempic.” (Jared, 17:58)
- “That’s what we’re all going to be saying to each other in the old person’s home. Do you remember the Skyrizzy song?” (Jon, 18:22)
Office-home sex talk: “Old people can still come.” (Jon, 18:55), leading to speculation about the sexual lives of older adults.

6. Comedy, Race Stories, and Fire Alarms

Sophie’s tale of Canadian high school “race wars” and the genius “fire alarm cheating system”:
- “…Some of the Somalian boys mid-exam would pull the fire alarm. And so we’d all file outside and tell each other the answers and then go back inside—and our test results were through the roof that year…We got more funding at our school, we got a new portable, like, it was insane.” (Sophie, 16:11)
- The escalation: “Our school turned off the fire alarm when you pull it... So the Somalian boys started lighting actual fires.” (Sophie, 16:47–17:00)

7. On Aging, Sex, and Netflix’s "Age of Attraction"

Discussion on Netflix’s "Age of Attraction,” intergenerational dating, and old people’s sex lives.
- Sophie: “As a woman, as you get older, you get to know your body better. And so I feel like old ladies are probably coming more than young ladies.” (19:17)
- Adam: “Old people’s homes are, like, rampant for sexual Florida, right?” (18:37)

8. Crab Rangoon as a Lifestyle

Prolonged and passionate debate about the merits of crab Rangoon, cream cheese, and the mystery of fast food:
- “So for your birthday dinner, you’re going to eat eight crab rangoons?” (Jon, 22:51)
- Jared: “Weirdly, the last time I came was from eating eight crab rangoons.” (23:17)

9. Social Media Algorithms & “Big Naturals”

The comedians bemoan social media feeds overtaken by “big titty” content, lamenting how algorithms merge interests (e.g., guitars + women, politics + women).
- “My entire algorithm is any one of my hobbies attached to a woman with giant 10…” (Jon, 34:49)
- Adam: “…It will be like guitar, guitar, big tittied guitar solo.” (35:13)
Sophie on cross-generational memes: “Every once in a while, one of the memes [from my dad] is just a big titty goth girl dancing. And he’ll reply and be like, I didn’t send that to you.” (36:15)

10. Travel & Wellness Routines

Sophie’s approach: staying fast, not just strong—interval treadmill training, motivated by her soccer background and perpetual road living.
- “I used to be a soccer girl…and so every—I feel like everybody goes to the gym to get stronger, and I’m just trying to get fast.” (Sophie, 40:54)
Jared: Living the Florida wellness life, golf, and resisting small-town gym socializing.

11. Audience Q&A: Meditation and Self-Care with ADHD

Audience member (the much-discussed “Old man Winkle”) prompts a thoughtful digression on meditation.
- Jon (wisdom from his therapist): “Sometimes just looking at something pretty for a long time...can feel like meditation.” (51:35)
- Adam: “I don’t meditate. I have ADHD…But similarly, I had a therapist who said that you can kind of achieve the goal of meditation regardless of how intense you do it, which is just taking time to reflect alone…with no screen and no info.” (54:08)
- Sophie: “One of the first steps, apparently, to loving yourself is called mirror work…[when] you see yourself in the mirror, [the goal is] to smile at yourself.” (52:56)
- Jon: “My therapist straight up said, have you ever spoken positively about yourself to yourself?...So now every once in a while, I get out of the shower, I look at myself when I’m wet and naked...‘You’re fucking beautiful.’” (52:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Austin and Health Culture:
“We are in Austin, Texas, the sauna capital of the world. It just overcame Finland.”
— Jon Gabrus (01:17)
On Shoplifting as Self-Care:
“Civil disobedience every day.”
— Sophie Buttle (13:03)
On Aging and Sex:
“Old people can still come.”
— Jon Gabrus (18:55)
Algorithm Hell:
“My entire algorithm is any one of my hobbies attached to a woman with giant 10…”
— Jon Gabrus (34:49)
Traveling Wellness:
“I go to the gym in the morning and then I go visit [my parents] and they yell at me about my weight…”
— Jared Freid (44:35)
Mirrors & Self-Love:
“…Have you ever spoken positively about yourself to yourself?...So now every once in a while, I get out of the shower, I look at myself when I’m wet and naked...‘You’re fucking beautiful.’”
— Jon Gabrus (52:14)
Audience Roasting:
“So you want to…go around, everyone say their weight and who they voted for?”
— Sophie Buttle (50:05)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Opening Riffs & Health Jokes (00:41–04:51)
Breakfast Tacos & Green Juice Disaster (03:05–03:44)
Jon’s Gym Style & Mutual Self-Roasting (04:17–05:51)
Chairs Breaking & Weight Jokes (09:00–10:16)
What Do You Do to Stay Alive—Shoplifting as Wellness (12:03–13:03)
Sophie’s High School Fire Story (15:54–17:00)
Ozempic, Wegovy, and Big Pharma Satire (17:46–18:22)
Age of Attraction & Sex in Old Age (19:16–22:16)
Crab Rangoon, Cream Cheese, and Eating Habits (23:22–25:07)
Social Media Algorithms & “Big Naturals” (34:49–36:15)
Audience Q&A—Meditation for ADHD (51:11–55:44)
Closing, Plugs, and Burnout Reflections (56:27–end)

Additional Highlights

Sincere Moments Amidst Chaos: Sophie gives a surprisingly heartfelt suggestion for meditation—focusing on being present because “you’re the only person in the world that will ever be experiencing this moment.” (55:18)
Insider Comedy & Audience Play: Ongoing friendly jabs with an older audience member (“Old man Winkle”) leads to surprisingly gentle and inclusive humor.
Plugging Stand-Up and Books: Jared promotes his dating book (“Walking Red Flag”), and upcoming shows at Esther’s Follies. Sophie plugs her Cap City Comedy Club run.
Self-Deprecation Over Fitness Credentials: The hosts and guests cheerfully admit they’re awful wellness models, capping things with mutual encouragement to “smile in the mirror more” as perhaps the truest take-home wellness tip.

Tone & Takeaways

This episode leans fully into the honest, raw, and ridiculous ethos of "Staying Alive," using gallows humor, gross-out confessions, and joyful roasting to normalize health struggles and self-doubt. Both irreverently funny and, in its way, unexpectedly supportive, it leaves listeners with a sense that wellness isn’t about perfection, but about getting through the mess with friends—and maybe a crab rangoon in hand.

For Further Listening

Follow "Staying Alive" with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally for weekly episodes exploring the absurd truth of health, wellness, and friendship—available wherever podcasts are found. Don’t forget to smile at yourself in the mirror.

wavePod

Rangooning: A Live Staying Alive from SXSW (w/ Jared Freid and Sophie Buddle)