Staps & Cems (w/ Angela Trimbur)

Summary

Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: "Staps & Cems" (w/ Angela Trimbur)

Release Date: September 11, 2025
Guest: Angela Trimbur
Theme: How life changes—sometimes forcibly—and how to find identity, joy, and health through transitions, self-invention, dancing, and honest self-care.

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Overview

This episode features a lively and deeply honest conversation between hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally, and their friend, actor, dancer, and cancer survivor, Angela Trimbur. Oscillating between laughter and raw vulnerability, the discussion centers on personal transformation, making deliberate choices around health and identity, living with intention after hardship, and the very real pursuit of happiness (plus a liberal dose of dance-floor philosophy).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. From Messy Nights to Mindful Living

Timestamp: 00:01–02:55

• Hosts open up about feeling hungover and caught in an endless social drinking cycle, recognizing old, unhealthy habits.
• Adam admits, "I'm on day seven in a row of at least two whiskeys at my house." (02:43)
• They express a desire for healthier routines but also acknowledge stress-driven choices: "It is Pavlovian. I find myself getting a negative phone call and walking downstairs and seeing my whiskey cabinet and being like, Japanese? Yes." (02:58–03:13)

2. Angela’s “Every Two Years” Life Philosophy

Timestamp: 03:29–06:23

• Angela reveals she sets a major personal goal every two years, a practice inspired by her cancer journey and its shadow of uncertainty.
  • "What if I just live like I only have two years left?... it's not like a five-year plan. And it’s not like bucket list, like six month plan. Two years is reasonable. There's breathing room." (04:13–05:02)
• Moving to NYC and becoming a dance instructor was one such goal.
  • "I want to be able to say that I was a dancer in New York City. So that’s why I moved to New York." (05:08–05:41)
• Gabrus and Pally reflect on how easy it is for people to say “this is the year I’ll change” without action.

3. Identity and Reinvention

Timestamp: 07:31–09:01

• The group discusses the challenge and value in embracing multiple senses of self—comedian, dancer, actor.
  • Angela: "Now my two-year plan is like, I want to direct something… That’s my new thing, man." (06:09–06:21)
• Struggles with being boxed in by others’ expectations are addressed: “How much of myself am I committing to? Because I don’t want anyone to see me as just that.” (07:41–08:05 – Adam)

4. Dance as Medicine: Smashing the ‘Cool’ Barrier

Timestamp: 10:38–16:41

• Angela’s teaching style focuses on rejecting the pressure to look "cool or sexy" and instead reconnecting to inner child playfulness.
  • "My ethos is not trying to be cool or sexy as a dancer, but leaning into the childhood, bad-news… through not trying, you will be." (11:16–11:35)
• They discuss widespread embarrassment around dance, despite its proven mental health benefits.
  • “Dance is the number one scientifically thing to make you happy. And so many people think it’s not theirs because they’re not gonna look like Beyoncé’s backup dancer.” (14:11–14:21 – Angela)
• Adam connects dance and acting: “So many times when you’re acting... you gotta get out of your head that people are watching you.”

Notable Quote

“Everybody has this block around dance…but you’ll play basketball and not be Kobe, why can’t you just dance?”
— Angela Trimbur (13:35)

5. Social Pressures, Self-Consciousness, and Letting Go

Timestamp: 15:40–18:59

• The discussion expands to public vulnerability: weddings, learning to dance, acting goofy, parents and kids picking up accents.
• “Nobody’s ever sitting down watching someone go for it and thinking, like, ‘They should not be doing that’. That’s an old frame of mind.” (18:13–18:20 – Angela)

6. Dealing with Stress after Cancer

Timestamp: 21:01–23:55

• Angela credits her post-cancer perspective—and therapy—for emphasizing stress reduction as essential to survival and happiness.
  • “I’m trying to stay as stress-free as possible. That was just something that I adopted…stress, you have to really regulate.” (21:04–21:33)
• Saying ‘no’ is cited as a mature self-care act, and the hosts share tricks to avoid overcommitting.
  • “If someone asks you to do something, in your head say, would you say yes if it was this Tuesday?” (22:44–23:23 – Gabrus, referencing Tim Ferriss)

Notable Quote

“Sometimes you have to say no because you know it'll stress you out. That’s some grown up shit right there.”
— Jon Gabrus (22:14)

7. Finding Exercise that Feeds the Soul

Timestamp: 24:14–26:32

• Angela describes “TrimBurn”, her dance-based aerobics class—and asserts teaching dance is her physical activity. No need for extra workouts.
  • “When I feel like I need to work out, I’ll just do a class because it makes me work out harder when I have to infect other people.” (24:29–24:43)
• Discusses her love for vintage leotards, shoes for dancing, and practical fashion choices post-cancer treatment.

8. Cancer, Survival, and Ongoing Impact on Identity

Timestamp: 28:38–34:12

• Angela speaks frankly about the permanent reminders of breast cancer—bodily changes, early menopause, impacts on dating and self-image.
  • “Now I’m trying to date...I have to tell a person about what you know, and that there’s all these things that happen from it.” (29:35)
• Describes “Angela 2.0”: “I do really like Angela 2.0...a little softer...more about storytelling than becoming famous. It's a new perspective.” (30:49)
• Gabrus shares that his mother’s own cancer journey helped her conquer lifelong fears and try new things.

9. The Four Agreements, Dating, and Emotional Hygiene

Timestamp: 38:50–43:43

• Angela swears by “The Four Agreements” (Don Miguel Ruiz) as her “bible”:
  • Always do your best
  • Don’t take things personally
  • Never gossip (about yourself or others)
  • Be as clear as possible in communication
• She confesses “not taking things personal” is the toughest.
  • “That’s the hardest one…especially for an actor.” (39:08–39:10)
• The trio analyzes self-deprecation in comedy, the social function (and toxicity) of gossip, and the challenges of navigating friendships in showbiz and life.

Notable Quote

“Not taking things personal is the hardest one. That’s so hard. Really good for an actor.”
— Angela Trimbur (39:09–39:10)
“Sometimes you start to listen to yourself [with self-deprecation], and when a part comes along that's not self-deprecating, you can't get there.”
— Adam Pally (42:29)

10. Dating, Humor, and Compatibility

Timestamp: 45:04–48:51

• Angela emphasizes needing a partner who appreciates humor: “I want to laugh all the time...that’s really what I’m looking for.” (47:21–47:27)
• Light-hearted riffing about dating profiles, astrology, and the unique challenges for creative people.

11. Communication, Balance, and Chilling Out

Timestamp: 49:01–51:27

• Struggles with direct communication versus burying feelings in the name of “being chill,” and the emotional boomerang effect.
• Adam draws a parallel between Angela’s dance grace and her life’s search for emotional balance.

12. Mushrooms, Psychedelics, and Therapy

Timestamp: 51:28–54:47

• Angela discusses using psilocybin (mushrooms) therapeutically, encouraged by her therapist.
  • Recalls a transformative trip: “It was kicking in, and I...saw myself in this ice castle, and there was this spider who wore a pearl as a crown, beckoning me...” (52:25–53:51)
• Hosts ask for her therapist’s info; laughs abound.

13. Surgeries, Accepting Change, and Finding Peace

Timestamp: 54:58–56:32

• Multiple reconstructive procedures post-cancer led Angela to new perspectives.
  • She describes going under anesthesia as “the ultimate surrender...it's peaceful as hell.” (54:59–55:06)
• Shares the oddly comforting ritual of having doctors talk about lunch as she’s put under.

14. Creativity, Teaching, and Joy in Dance

Timestamp: 57:02–57:48

• Angela invites the hosts to her “TrimBurn” and “ballet recital” classes, blending performance, inner-child energy, and zero-pressure ballet—all in character.
  • “It’s a ballet class I teach in character… my goal is that you feel like you’re in the world of ballet, but there’s no technique...just doing fun choreo.” (57:29–57:48)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Intention:
  “Don’t get caught up by the fact that I’m cool and sexy. That’s a you problem. In here, we’re all going to be silly.” — Adam Pally (12:00–12:06)
• On Vulnerability:
  "Dance is the number one, like, therapeutic, endorphin, happiness thing... but so many people think it’s not theirs." — Angela Trimbur (14:11–14:21)
• On Survival:
  “I do really like Angela 2.0. She’s softer. It’s more about storytelling than becoming famous or making money.” — Angela Trimbur (30:49)
• On Growth:
  “Not taking things personal is the hardest one.” — Angela Trimbur (39:08)
  “Iron forges iron, right?” — Jon Gabrus (48:51)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Drinking & Habit Change: 00:01–02:55
• Angela’s Two-Year Life Plan: 03:29–06:23
• Dance Philosophy, Social Anxiety & Embarrassment: 10:38–18:20
• Cancer, Survival & Identity: 28:38–34:12
• The Four Agreements in Practice: 38:50–43:43
• Dating & Humor: 45:04–48:51
• Mushrooms & Psychedelic Therapy: 51:28–54:47

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Episode Tone & Style

The tone is candid, irreverently funny, sometimes crude, but always caring and deeply human. Angela’s sincerity is scaffolded by Gabrus and Pally’s cheerful, self-mocking humor and occasional serious reflection. The trio trade stories, vulnerably discuss past pain, and underscore the possibility of true personal change.

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For New Listeners: Takeaways

• Set intentional, tangible life periods—even two years at a time—to pursue goals
• After hardship, you might craft a stronger, gentler, and more honest version of yourself
• Dance isn’t about looking cool—it’s about access to joy, play, and physical therapy
• Learn when to say ‘no’ for your own health
• Direct communication and emotional balance make everything better
• A sense of humor and the willingness to try (and fail) are essential
• Living life post-trauma is forever changed—and that’s not all bad

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Closing Thoughts

This episode is a moving, relatable, and hilarious exploration of what staying alive really means when health, identity, and the urge to dance collide. Angela Trimbur shines as the embodiment of self-reinvention, offering wisdom drawn from hard-fought battles. Whether you’re looking for tools for self-care, reasons to brave the dance floor, or just need assurance that you’re not alone, this conversation delivers—heart, truth, and serious laughs.

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Hosts: Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally
Guest: Angela Trimbur
Podcast: Staying Alive (SmartLess Media, SiriusXM)
Original Air Date: September 11, 2025

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Transcript

[A]

Smart.

[B]

Bless me. Little hungover today. I'm gonna be honest. That's okay.

[A]

Yeah, I'm glad you're honest. I mean, I. I heard you coming in and. And I heard you say what sounded like a bar's name. Where were we at last night?

[B]

Sunny's.

[A]

And I was like, he's drunk.

[B]

He's drunk. He's drunk. Drinking. Fernet with our. Like.

[A]

Yeah, I was at Sunny's. I'm like, in my head, it's like, that's not.

[B]

It's not a gym. It's not a coffee. No, it's a Red Hook dive bar, which is now kind of like a Red Hook hipster bar. It used to be, like, a place that would. They'd be mean to you because you weren't like, a crazy old local.

[A]

It was like a real bar.

[B]

Yeah. And now it's like, so many wealthy people have moved into Red Hook that it's like something else now. But still got the same old vibes. Still has live bluegrass, like, almost every night of the week.

[A]

That's. That's great. Yeah, the. The Upper west side has a bar that I. That I really love. Like, that. That is. That doesn't have live music or anything. It's just, like, sports. It's like an old Irish. Yeah, but it's like, still. They're mean to you. And there's a dog in there.

[B]

Oh, I love.

[A]

You know, it's like, yeah, I had.

[B]

A couple of frenettes. Didn't, weirdly enough, didn't settle my stomach for today.

[A]

It didn't. You said a couple.

[B]

A couple of tall. For nets, for beers. And then I switched back. Justin.

[A]

I switched back.

[B]

Well, we were like, o. This is too real of a conversation. But the bartender was beautiful and, like, tatted up and, like, in a tank top. And she's like, do you guys want anything else? And we were like, yeah. Yes.

[A]

I don't want to leave.

[B]

Yeah, we wanted to go. We talked.

[A]

You're like, I don't want to leave you.

[B]

Yeah. She's like, I'm like. And I had bought dinner, so Justin was buying rounds, so it didn't feel crazy. I was like, yeah. But I'm like, He's like, I can't have another for net. I'm like, me neither. Then we have. So we had. Go to this bar after we've been drinking, eating. We go to a bar.

[A]

We have three beers. Bottle of wine. At dinner.

[B]

No, we had beers at dinner.

[A]

Cocktail and beers.

[B]

Yeah, three. At Sunny's, we have three beers. Then we switched Fernet, have two Frenettes, then we switch back and have two beers. And then I'm like, all right, well, it's 1:30 in the morning and we. I'm recording at 9. Let's rip. You know, so I'm like, living like that and it's like.

[A]

But New York is really great to live like Los Angeles too. Like, it's. It. If you calmed your body down and. And just took the city, took what it gives you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It really is a good place to live like that too.

[B]

Right. I don't necessarily need to make drinking plans like six nights in a row with friends.

[A]

No. Because that bar's not going anywhere. Right.

[B]

My issue is like, oh, I want to catch up with this person. Catch up with this person. Like, almost every person's like, yeah, let's go grab beers or let's go grab. And I'm like, oh, that's going out day. Like seven in a row.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, baby. Yeah. I. I'm on day seven in a row of. Of having at least two whiskeys at my house.

[B]

Ooh. And you were trying to limit that.

[A]

I was trying to limit that. Yeah.

[B]

But I just am, like, got upcoming stress.

[A]

I got some stress. I got stress. And like, it is Pavlovian. Like, I find myself getting a negative phone call and. And walking downstairs and seeing my, like, whiskey cabinet and being like, Japanese. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. They're all Japanese.

[B]

My fucking guy. Well, enough about our problems. Let's hear about solutions from our amazing guest, Angela Trimber.

[A]

So, Trimmer, you. I met you in Los Angeles, but when did you move back here?

[C]

I moved back like three years ago.

[A]

And do you like it? Are you.

[C]

I do like it. Yeah. I kind of like moved with this goal. I was like, I need to. I have like this thing where I'm like, every two years I need to do a new goal.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It's like this thing that I'm doing for myself.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And I decided that's.

[A]

That's incredibly self intuitive, like, to go into yourself and be like, every two years, I got to shake it up. That's a lot.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I'm on like year 25 of. This is the year I lose weight. So I totally kind of wrap my.

[A]

Head around I'm on year 43 of being like, this is the way it is.

[B]

So every two years you have like, you set some two. Two year goal for yourself where you're.

[C]

Like, yeah, it kind of like stemmed from like a, like a. Not. Not a dark place, but like, you Know when I went through cancer, like I had these like people that kept sharing their stories and they kept saying like, oh yeah, my mom went through it. And then it did come back two years later. Two years later it came back. And. And so I kept hearing this too from the universe and I'm like, okay, what's the sign here? Like, I'm always trying to connect with it, like, what's this? What's this puzzle? And I'm like, okay, what if I just live, like I only have two years left. But it's not a dark thought because actually some of my other friends like that haven't gone through that. They've adopted it too. And they're like, it's a perfect time frame because it's not like a five year plan. We got time. And it's not like bucket list, like six month plan where you're going to do anything rational.

[B]

It's December and I didn't do anything. I jam it all in now before Christmas.

[C]

Exactly. It's more like two years.

[B]

Reasonable. There's like some breathing room in there. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So what have you.

[B]

Can you give us an example of.

[A]

What are your goals?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, at the time when I decided it, I was living in LA and it was like my 14th year in the same apartment. Rent control, piece of cake. Post pandemic, post healing from all this stuff and looking at the same thing every day. And I thought, you know, what if I had Cheers left? What would I do? And I really thought about it and I said I'd want to be say that I was a dancer in New York City. And so I want to move to New York. I want to teach dance in Manhattan at like the studios.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And just see if I can do it and just throw myself in there. And then. So that's why I moved to New York.

[A]

And then you do it and you're doing it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's so awesome.

[C]

Yeah, it's really cool. And now I'm.

[B]

I almost made the joke what dance based goal that you set because I know you as a dancer, but it is like we know you as the person who does comedy who's also a very good, like very into dancing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you were like, it's time I just became the person who lives in Manhattan and fucking dances.

[C]

I know. But now I'm like, wait, but I also do comedy. I'm also an actor.

[B]

Alvin Ailey. I know improv.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like getting to the point where I'm like, okay, actually now my two year Plan is like, I want to direct something and.

[A]

Awesome.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

And like, that's my new thing, man.

[B]

I like the idea of a two year goal.

[C]

Yeah. What would you do right now? Two years.

[B]

That's a good idea. I think, for two years. And I think it's possible. I'd like to be conversationally fluent in Spanish.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And I'm on the path and I've been studying for a while, so it's a little.

[C]

Can we hear something?

[B]

Two, two. Necessitas oyer algo que se llama Porque yo no hablo muy bien. Necessito mas despacio Porque yo hablo sobra yo nino.

[A]

I'm in charge of subtitles on the show. So no matter what you say.

[B]

Honestly, we want this podcast to be more successful. We be learning Mandarin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you to our sponsors.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mandarin oranges and the language. And the bad guy from Iron man, played by Ben Kingsley. I don't mean to interrupt your meal, but I love Geico's fast and friendly claim service. Well, that's how Geico gets 97% customer satisfaction. Yeah.

[A]

I'll let you get back to your food.

[B]

So are you just gonna watch me eat?

[A]

Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico. I always feel that way sometimes when, like, you, you. You show yourself a new side of yourself as an interest. You're like, wow, I'm good at this thing too. And this isn't more than just a hobby. This is actually part of myself. And then you're like, but wait, I'm also an actor and can be anything.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, it's like, it's. I feel like we're always running up against that is like, how much of myself am I committing to? Because I don't want anyone to see me as just that.

[C]

It's true.

[A]

I feel like that feeling is natural.

[B]

But also the two years of it all is kind of interesting because it's like I could do two years of focus on this and not lose my identity elsewhere. And then like, okay, steer the ship a little this way and go two years in that, like.

[C]

And it is kind of a. It feels like a calling. And it reached a point where I'm like, okay, this is what. It's like what my mom did when she, like, she had a dance studio and. Really? Yes.

[A]

So your. Your mother, when growing up? Florida.

[C]

Pennsylvania.

[A]

Pennsylvania. Sorry, you have a Florida. You have a Florida. Pennsylvania and Florida have similar kind of lawlessness. You know what I mean?

[C]

My dad lives in Florida now.

[A]

Yeah, but you don't have a Pennsylvanian accent.

[C]

I feel like I do. I always kind of talked like, there it is. When I was a kid, like a New Yorker and my mom would call me out on it like, stop talking like that. You're not a New Yorker. But I've always had.

[A]

Well, it's close.

[C]

Water.

[A]

You know, there's like, yeah, but I've.

[C]

Never been a water person.

[A]

Yeah, I'm only like a dog person. Water dog.

[B]

Water dog. That reminds me when my little nephew, my godson, was learning to talk. That was on FaceTime. They're like, no, look, he can say dog now. And my, my brothers and my sister in law are like, say doggy. Doggy, Doggy. And I'm like, I just see how it all happens. And my little nephew's like, doggy. That's right.

[A]

Cut to like 50 years from now when he's running like a watch station in Grand Central. And dog, your dog is on my stuff.

[C]

There's not a lot of kids with New York accents anymore.

[A]

My kids, all three of my kids. Well, actually my daughter grew up in the Valley.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And she very much will, like, it will come out sometimes in this way with like these long things. And you're like, whoa, California chill.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

But for some reason my sons are like, they all have these little kind of like, oh, yeah.

[C]

Like really?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, they're very much like I was at school. It's like all this kind of like staccato.

[C]

Okay, so good that it's still happening.

[B]

It's wild. Yeah. My little nephew, like, Uncle Nani, how come when you go to the store, you always gotta buy so many beers? And I'm like, what? You're eight, you can't talk like that. Yeah, they sound like I too, like miniature construction.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Yeah. You know, like, oh, yeah. Joey won't let me play with my toys downstairs.

[A]

And I feel like my son spent so much time with my mother in law that he'll, he'll say things like, you'll be like, come on, kiddo, you got to get up for school. And he'll be like, oy vey.

[C]

And you're like, oh, yeah. Oh yeah.

[A]

You're like, what is that in your lexicon?

[B]

Like, what other parts of this? And we'll get into more stuff. But I'm very curious, like, when you decide, you're like, fuck it, I want to do this. Two years as a dancer in Manhattan. What other stuff comes into play there? Are you like wearing exclusively leg warmers? Are you like, you know, are you doing, like, flash dance? Like, like, what. What's. What are you.

[A]

That wouldn't be a big change. I pretty much know you're kind of like that.

[C]

Anyway, I had a lot of Reeboks, like, High Top Reebo. Yeah.

[B]

Like, what else are you doing to, like. I'm not saying they're all put ons, but what are you adding to your. Like to feel that in Fuller, besides the obvious of, like, dancing and getting a Manhattan apartment?

[C]

Um, I guess I. I don't know. Kind of like. Well, my whole, like, ethos is. Is not trying to be, like, cool or sexy as a dancer.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And lean more into, like, the childhood bad news.

[B]

You look cool ain't sexy. Donuts.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

Well, that's what I say, too. I'm like. And through not trying to do that, you will be.

[A]

I know you. I. I pretty much predominantly know you as, like, one of the cooler, sexier comedians. So the fact that you're. So it's interesting when you read the. When you read the. The piece in. Was it Vanity Fair? That.

[C]

Which one?

[A]

About. About your studio.

[C]

And it's like, about New York Times.

[A]

The New York Times.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The opposite of that thought is what everything you're preaching. It's like, don't get caught up by the fact that I'm cool and sexy like that. Like, that is.

[B]

That's your. That's a new problem.

[A]

That's a you problem. Like, in here, we are all going to be, like, silly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is kind of nice. I mean, like, I feel like that is. Anytime I'm in a workout class, which is the closest I've ever. Or even in, like, a choreographed dance thing where I have to learn something for. I'm doing a dance for my daughter's b. Ms. With her.

[C]

You are?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Who's choreographing it?

[B]

I'm hyped.

[A]

Maya Moves.

[C]

Who?

[A]

Maya Moves. She's a children's dance studio that my daughter has gone to since she was a little baby.

[C]

My Moves is the name of the studio.

[A]

Okay. I never looked into her last name being Moves. Maybe that's not real.

[C]

Probably not.

[B]

That seems.

[A]

That I'm saying it seems a little.

[B]

Too good for business.

[A]

Now that I'm saying it so much. I think she might have a different last name in real life. But Maya Moves is the company, is it Maya?

[C]

Not my.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Maya is her first name.

[A]

Yeah, I guess.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now. Okay, so now to just unpack that miscommunication. Angela said who's choreographing it. And you went, my moves according to her. So you're like. Except to her, it sounds like you're saying it's my moves.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no.

[B]

But it's all my moves.

[A]

I'm learning it. And one things that is hardest is. Is letting. Is like not being self conscious is like letting go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I feel like that's. That's like almost an antithesis of cool and sexy sometimes. It's like cool and sexy is laid back and, you know, it's like mysterious and not, you know, giving.

[B]

It always feels like trying hard is antithetical to being, like, cool. But it also is the opposite of. It kind of works in a different way too. Well, everyone's skilled. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah. It feels like everyone has this block around dance, and this is like my. My whole thing. It's like, why is it that people are like, I'm. I'm not. I can't do that. But yet you'll go and, like, you'll play basketball. No one's saying, like, I'm not gonna. I'm not. I'm no Kobe Bryant. I'm not gonna do any of that. Like, Right. It's just like, you don't have to be, so.

[B]

You suck at that too, man.

[A]

Yeah, right?

[B]

Like, that's how I. That's how I get in my. I get in the right headspace for dancing is like. Well, you also stand up on stage and you're like, now I'm a baseball player. You know? I mean, like, you do dumb shit all the time.

[A]

You're like, I everything. Why should this be different?

[C]

Right? But it's like, dance is like the number one scientifically thing to make you happy. And so many people think it's not theirs because they're not gonna look like Beyonce's backup dancer or something.

[A]

Is that true? Is there like an endorphin release from dance that is like, scientific, truly.

[C]

It's the number one, like, therapeutic, endorphin, happiness thing.

[A]

Is there something that you do, like, when you're feeling down? Is it as prescriptive as that? Where it's like, you're feeling down?

[B]

I just gotta dance. Yeah.

[A]

Is that.

[B]

Flip the music on Real?

[A]

Is that real? Is it like, you can't fire me? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I. I mean, I think it is if you ever really try it. But you have to, like, let go of the blocks of, like, that this isn't meant for you.

[A]

Right. That it looks weird.

[C]

Right. Or that anyone cares or is judging you for what it looks Similar to.

[A]

Acting in that way. I mean, like, so many times when you're acting, the people. Like, especially when you're acting on location, people walking by don't know that the senior shooting is, like, integral to the plot of a movie about something that they don't know about. They just see some guy running down the. The BQE in a bathrobe. You know what I mean? And it's like that you have to see this film, but, I mean, you gotta, like, get that out of your head. You know that, like, people are watching you.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Do this because you are just running down the street.

[C]

But also, think about it. Is anyone even, like. No one's like, oh, my God, what's happening? Like, in New, like, people.

[A]

No, not in New York.

[C]

No one even cares. Right. But.

[A]

But sometimes. But it's, like, hard.

[C]

Maybe not even anywhere.

[B]

Yeah, but. Yeah, you'd be in your own head. Well, I think about it, like, not to keep finding analogous moments, but, like, I don't consider myself a good singer, but if I'm driving in my car in the shower and a song comes on and I sing along, I feel good. Like, you know what I mean? I enjoy the. I enjoy singing poorly. Like, why wouldn't I enjoy. Also. And I also, for the record, love to dance. And I'm bad at it, and I really enjoy it, and I do it very frequently. Yeah.

[C]

When will you do it?

[B]

What? Whenever I dance at weddings. I dance at parties. I'll dance at bars. If people. If. If the thing. I have, like, a disease. We joke about it because we hosted a travel show, and we kind of live by the mantra of, like, when in Rome. I have the disease of when in Rome. If people are like, we're at this evening, we're dancing. I'm like, so am I. Like, I'm not gonna be the guy dancing. I don't want to be the guy who's not doing this, you know, Especially at a wedding.

[C]

A wedding is, like, the place to dance because it's almost, like, rude to the bride and groom if you're not. You're like, I'm not celebrating your relationship.

[A]

Agreed. You have to dance at a wedding. You have to, like, get up at least for a little.

[B]

Yeah. You just got to, like, also, like, you know, being married for so long, you know, even when you don't feel like dancing, your partner's like, I feel like dancing and I'm not going up. Like, I'm not letting you go up there. Yeah, that handsy groomsman's over there. I'm coming with you, babe.

[A]

Yeah. You're gonna walk down. Well, you're gonna be able to guy to walk you down the aisle.

[B]

I hate that he works in finance. Yeah, I'm a fucking improviser. Like, what's going on? How Dancing my drink. I knew I shouldn't have brought that flask.

[C]

What song are you doing for your daughter's bar mitzvah?

[A]

It's a. It's a mashup that Maya made for us. Three of Usher. It's only two of Usher's. Yeah. And that's how it starts. It's how it starts. And then turn the TV off. Oh.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It goes like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's like mustard.

[C]

How does it transition?

[A]

It's really just like that scream of mustard. And then it gets quiet. It's like people are named as I'm, honey, gotta do it. And like, we do this whole, like.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

I'm so excited. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I'm not that.

[A]

I'm not that good at it. She's really good. She's really good. I'm not that good at it, but it is fun.

[C]

Like, that's what it is.

[A]

It is really fun.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And also, just think about, like, on the macro, what that is for, like, her memories, your memories. Everyone at the Benais, I feel like.

[C]

Nobody'S ever, like, sitting down watching someone go for it and thinking, like, they should not be doing that. Like, it's like an old. That's like an old frame of mind.

[B]

Yes, you're right. That is like the characters, like, drinking martini, like, good luck, honey. And if they are real, they're the shitty ones.

[C]

They're the shittiest.

[A]

I've been that shitty person. Like, I've been at, like, a corporate function or like, a Hollywood party where like, all of a sudden two people will start, like, hitting the dance floor.

[C]

And you've been. I've been like, get.

[A]

God damn it.

[C]

Oh, really? Wow. See, I. In my mind, no one does that.

[A]

Oh, no. I'm old school. Like oil salesman in the Muppets. You know, I'm like, where. God, people are having fun.

[B]

Forged in the fire of bullying.

[A]

You know, that's how you get that when you're the new kid. Enough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The way having fun. You're like, why? They. They hate me.

[B]

They don't tell you this, but one way to avoid being bullied, become a bully. That's true.

[A]

And you're looking at two bullies.

[B]

I've been a victim and I've been A nightmare.

[D]

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Mom.

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Honey, stop.

[C]

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[B]

We ask all our guests this and this one. This question might hit you a little differently, but. Angela Trimber, what are you doing to stay alive?

[C]

Mm.

[A]

Mm.

[C]

I think I'm trying to stay as stress free as possible.

[A]

Oh, I like it.

[C]

Sort of like the hard. The hard life lesson that I learned through going through cancer. I had this therapist that kind of like package deal with the hospital situation. You get 10 sessions with her for free.

[A]

That's amazing that we.

[C]

Yeah. Not too many people know about that, actually.

[A]

I can't believe that America has a public service like that.

[C]

They don't offer it. It was like something that I eventually.

[B]

Found out you had to find on your own.

[C]

Yeah. And she wasn't someone that's like, let's talk about that or let's unpack that. She's just like, let's. What's the decision we can make that's gonna be the least stressful? And that was just something that I adopted. Cause I used to be a super crazy overthinker kind of control freak person before or any of that stuff. And that really does contribute to health. Like the stress, you know, you go to anything, you make a complaint and a doctor's like, are you stressed? It might be that. And like, sometimes I'm like, that's what they say. But that is literally like a thing you have to really regulate and take. You know, say no to something because you know it'll stress you out or.

[B]

You know, ooh, that is some grown up shit right there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And cause because a. Not just because of. Yes. Ending the facet that. But in our industry, when you're like, when being asked to do something is like a slice of validation or vindicate. Like, and so you're like, yes, I'm down. Yes, I'm down. I would love to. And then you're like, in the moment, like, I'm actually like really overwhelmed and I'm running, I'm out of bandwidth. And then when you say no, that's such a powerful thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're like, oh, my God. I like. Tim Ferriss, a wellness podcaster with 25x the amount of listeners we have. He always says something. He calls it the next the this Tuesday principle. If someone asks you to do something in your head, say, would you say yes if it was this Tuesday that they were off?

[C]

What's that mean? What does that mean?

[B]

Because it's so frequently you say something, say yes to something.

[A]

Those things that really take a long time.

[B]

Something that's like three or four weeks away, you might just say yes to it because you're like, oh, three or four weeks from now, I want to do that, you know, and you kind of agree to start. But if you imagine if it's this Tuesday, you're like, I don't feel like doing that in four days or whatever.

[C]

Interesting. Yeah. Because I do tend to get the.

[A]

Question on on Wednesday. Well, then you're like six days. Yeah, well, I could go. The world can change that.

[B]

Right? But that's, I guess what the. The, the attitude behind it is, like, because I do that, because I'm like, oh, yeah, May 6th, I'll do your podcast. Or like, oh, yeah, I can do that. And then like, it gets to be like May 3, and you're like, wait, what do I have this week? And I. You're like, you punted like three things there and you're like, fuck, now I'm unhappy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So saying no, like, avoiding stuff that would make you stressed.

[A]

What else?

[B]

What an interesting. It should make total sense. It should be pretty clear.

[A]

What else are you doing to like, de stress Because I feel like that's a term that is thrown around so much and everyone, everyone would love to de stress. Like, how are you specifically? Like, you know, are you yoging? Are you.

[C]

No, I mean, dancing is a de stressor, obviously. And I do that a lot. I teach like three, four times a week, so it's a lot of.

[A]

Do you exercise on top of that?

[C]

No.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's a good idea. If your job is physical, you can exercise.

[C]

Yeah. You can double dip sometimes I do like a class. It's called trim burn. It's like trim and burn. You know my last name or whatever. And it's an aerobics class. And so when I feel like I'm like, I need to work out, I'll just do a class because it makes me work out harder when I have to infect other people. People.

[B]

That's awesome. You should, by the way, we'll take class. We should. We should follow up and we should do a follow up. We should do it.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Or straight up dance class.

[A]

I feel like I need a trim burn.

[C]

Yeah, it's usually the gateway to the dance class.

[A]

Really? Yeah. I feel like that would start me. I want to. I don't want to skip any steps.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta. I just want a lily pad.

[B]

I just want to dress like the substance and dance.

[A]

Yeah. So what. What's your. What kind of fashion dancing are you doing? Are you. Are you like a retro, like, I feel. Feel like your style is very vintage. You're carrying that into the dance world. You look like Jamie Lee Curtis in Saturday.

[C]

Perfect.

[A]

What's the movie where she's like, I.

[C]

Don'T know her and John Travert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have maybe like 200 vintage leotards. Like, they're all over the place. And that's. And it's always what I'm searching for.

[B]

And they're for sale on ebay.

[C]

Yeah. For like 80 bucks. They're like expensive. Yeah. I'm always looking for those. Always. I have tons of tons tights. Yeah.

[A]

What's the sneaker situation? Are you. Are you in high top Reeboks like that anymore?

[C]

Yeah, I do that. I do that. But sometimes brands give me shoes and stuff. So I have on sneakers and on.

[A]

Is it like on cloud? Do you like them? Are you like into that or are you like vintages away?

[C]

No, I need a wide because I got crazy bunions. So I need a wide shoe.

[A]

How could you not?

[C]

I know.

[B]

Yeah, I got. And we hate this word Here on the podcast. But these shoes have the wide toe box.

[A]

Right.

[C]

That's what all shoes should be, actually let you out.

[A]

Yeah. No. And I'm just bound in my.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't get rid of these bad boys. How would you know? I own a boat. How would you know? I come from old money.

[B]

Can you. When you go out to dance, does it feel. If you go out at night to go dancing for fun, does it feel weirdly like work?

[C]

I don't really go dancing for fun because my whole. My other whole theory is, like, there's no dance floors that are actually equipped for true kind of dancing.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It's really based on.

[B]

Based on social media. You're like, fucking rolling around and shit. And you can't do that at the Limelight.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I think it's because it's a pizzeria now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was gonna say it's a movie rip, but no. Like, I wanted to open my own nightclub in LA before I moved to New York, right Before the pandemic, I got investors. There was this, like, ice cream factory that I was gonna take over. And when I was meeting with investors, I was like, I want the biggest dance floor. And all of them were like, oof. It's just tough because you want the smallest dance floor, so it always looks packed. And I'm like, but then how are. If I wanted to go like this, I would be an asshole, because people are like, whoa, I'm fucking right here. And so you have to be a bopper on a dance floor.

[A]

Everyone's like.

[C]

And you can't really go for it. And so I'm like, why would I want to go where I'm limited in movement?

[A]

I also feel like I don't think of dancing as much. Like, I guess when I was a kid and you were watching movies and stuff, and it was like, the. The older characters, and they would be like, we're gonna go out dancing or something. Now I. When I think of people dancing, I think of, like, Skrillex and people jumping up and down in a.

[C]

Right. And more of, like, a techno sense.

[A]

Yeah. I don't. I don't know.

[B]

I might be a little la pilled because there's, like, those dance nights that, like, you know, you hear people. Like, people are like, I'm a dance night or salsa night or whatever. And, like, then. So you get. But that is, like, possibly a very much a coastal city thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm sure you can find. I'm sure you could find weird. Like, weird is not the right word.

[A]

But like, where do you go dancing?

[C]

I mean, people out here, it's like this place called Night Moves, which is like the dance floor is as big as this rug right here. And also it is more like I want the kind of music I like to dance to, which is like lyrics I know. And I don't really like techno and those kind of like the house of. Yes. And like those kind of places that are more of that world.

[A]

Can I ask you a question about your illness?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Do you. How does it feel being a survivor of that? Like, do, do you. Does. Does that like, is it always in the back of your mind that it's there? And so does it affect your day to day choices that you make to de. Stress or just to stay alive? Like, because I feel, I feel like so often we think of, we think of that as like the end, but you're through, you're on the other side. And like, how does that feel day to day?

[C]

Well, I mean, to be honest, like with my kind of cancer, you know, breast cancer, it was really. It's really a constant reminder because, you know, it's like as a woman, it's like your breasts, it's like a thing that makes you feel attractive. It like, you know, it's a sexual thing. It's also a motherhood thing. It's. You're looking at it every day when you're getting in the mirror.

[B]

It's visible in the mirror.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Something you have to see all the time. And it's like my body's in menopause and so I'm going through all this stuff earlier than anybody else. So there's just like constant daily reminders. So it's not anything like that I can put behind me because I have to kind of like go through it. And now I'm trying to date and I took a long time off dating. I haven't dated or even been in love in like four years. And so I'm trying to like dive back into it. And that's like another thing where I'm like, what do I do? I have to like tell person like about what you know, and that there's all these things that happen from it. And so it's kind of like I'm facing it in a different way. So yeah, it's not like it's never behind me, but as a survivor, it feels cool. What mainly feels cool is that all the life lessons that I feel like I learned from it because that's just something that, like when I was first diagnosed. All these like survivors would come out of the woodworks to say, like, trust me, I know this is gonna be like hell. But in retrospect, you're gonna, you'll never not wish it didn't happen. Like you're gonna love who you became afterwards. And I do really like Angela 2.0. I think she's like a little softer in a way that like, I don't know, like I always describe it like in Com. Like, you know, I did more comedy back then before cancer and I felt like I was like zinger and all this stuff. And now I kind of of I'm not like always on in that way. I'm a little more like introspective in a sense that sometimes I do miss the other part where it was like, I don't know, I just. But I, I see myself as like. Like I just live life in like an easier way. Like I don't feel as like what do I have to do? Like I have to say yes to this job. What am I going to do next? What it like it doesn't feel like that's the trajectory anymore. It's more just, just like a day to day taking it easy, doing the stress free thing and really just trying to like storytell more so than like become an actor like and get famous and make money. Now it's just more about like storytelling and that's like my new perspective on art and things like that.

[A]

Yeah, it's such a, it's such a hard thing. And I feel like, you know, age will do that for some people, but it takes longer and I feel like you, you didn't have that luxury and like you, you had to, you had to come to that right now face.

[B]

You have to face mortality in a crazy mortality.

[C]

And in also in a sense like to hit an ugly stick. Like to go to have your hair completely gone and like have like two long little like I felt like, I felt like a comparison photo of like me and Doug and I was like, I look exactly like the cartoon Doug. Like I had like, yeah, yeah, I had like it was. Is like just to see photos of that and you know, you like your body is all in different places and so you really kind of like even look at beauty in a different way. Like it's like to feel so humbled by a lot. And so that's also where I think a different perspective of things come from. Like hair. I used to be so particular with hair. I'd be at the salon. Like I think I need like one more Highlight right here. You know, now I've never had a bad haircut or a bad color. I'm just sort of like, yeah, it is what it is. Like, there's just so many things that don't seem like a, A, a big deal to overthink about anymore.

[B]

My mom is. Never flew my entire life because she was afraid of flying. But then she survived breast cancer and lymphatic cancer. And after that she was like, I can't believe we never flown. Like, get in the. Get on a plane. We're going to Bahamas today. And now my mom is like, she just loves travel. Loves to travel. She was. Got over her fear of flying because she was like, I'm gonna die having never flown anywhere. And like, it, like, it gave her the.

[C]

This, the two year kind of. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And now. And now she. I want to shout her out. She just flew to Paris with her sister, my aunt. And my mom is too. Was too afraid to fly over water for that much, but she got over it. And then. And this is like the most Joanne ever is that I go, well, mom, what you think? And she goes, well, they were right. I wish I would have done this years ago.

[A]

She's mad.

[B]

She's mad because she should have been going to Paris more.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Like, but we're all so, mom, you're a nurse.

[A]

Yeah. You're not like, I should have gone with your father.

[C]

Did she used to take trains or. She just never really went.

[B]

She doesn't like trains either because she's claustrophobic. So we drove the most, you know, middle class Long island shit ever. We drove to Florida every winter break, you know, but now she's flying all the time. She's flying by herself.

[A]

I'm a medallion.

[B]

She's Mosaic on JetBlue. Jonathan. I'm Mosaic on JetBlue. They can do a points match if I switch to Delta, but I have to book one. Delta One.

[A]

I have three snack boxes.

[B]

Mom is like, she's calling me. She's like, when can I come to California? And I'm like, when do you want to come? She's like, well, here's the thing. I need to use my miles by. I'm like, okay, I want to be part of, like, a scam. Like, if you want to visit your son, you're welcome to come, but if it's like some sort of money thing, I don't. We don't.

[A]

I have an aunt like that that's always like scamming a little bit. And the other day I saw her. And she was like, when are you next going to California? And I was like I don't know, a couple weeks. And she's like, what aline taking? And I was like, I don't know. And she's like, you know what a line you're taking? And I was like, I don't know what airline? She's like, you, you fly one a come on, what a line you taking? I was like, I. I don't know, United or something. She's like, united? You freaking fly it. And I was like, oh my God. This my, my aunt is trying to get my freaking flyer information for me, you know, like.

[B]

So you use a credit card?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like could you use one? Yeah, I took out two in your name.

[D]

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[A]

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[C]

Yeah. I mean, I would also say I'm like, oh, I find myself lonely. I'm wanting to date. You know, I'm not, like, no one's ever really, like, happy.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You know, But I do think that I found a way to, like, surf. Kind of, like surf a. A float. Like, I can't. I don't go too dark. Dark anymore.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. Stay on the surface.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Just kind of like you're on the wave.

[B]

You probably could. You probably want to drop in and carve it up a little bit more, but you're not gonna wipe out.

[C]

I'm hopping in, though. I'm diving in. Like, that's why I'm, like, saying. I'm like, I'm gonna start dating. I'm gonna start on any. Yet. I did go on a few dates. Yeah. And anything good? I don't know, like, this will come.

[B]

Out late enough that none of them will be able to trace back if it was them or not.

[C]

No, no. I mean, no. It was like, I tried to go on a few dates with women, and then I went on one with a guy, and there is a woman that I do like, but I'm not. I'm not like, hey, I'm not. I don't know. I'm still a little, like, scared to not be independent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And with the guy, I feel like it didn't. Like, I liked him, and then it didn't work out, and I got ghosted. And so I was like, the. Something where I'm like, okay. Like, I don't know what happened there, but that's. That's what you got to do. You got to put yourself out there, and it might not work, and someone might not be able to communicate as an adult and say, didn't feel something after a while. Like, you might just get ghosted. And, like, what is that? How do you deal with that? You just have to be like, okay, that's, like, one thing I'm always trying to do to be less stressed is to, like, not take anything personal. So there's this book, the Four Agreements.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Have you read it?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like my Bible. And it's eight bucks. Like, I give. I buy it for people and give it to them as gifts all the time. Four Agreements. It's like, like, always do your best, and your best is going to change. That's one of them. Not take anything personal is one of them. And that's the hardest one.

[B]

That's really difficult.

[C]

That's so hard.

[A]

Really good for an actor.

[B]

Yeah. Especially because you attach your, your like self worth to like, oh, they didn't book me on that. That means they hate me as a person. And it's like, I'm taking that personally.

[A]

I would. Even into the job itself, like, I would. The worst actors that I've ever worked with are the ones who take direction personally. When someone goes, hey, try it again like this. And they go, I was like that. Like the best actors, the ones like, got it, I'll change it, no problem.

[C]

Right? And that's the thing with taking something personal. Like if somebody were to even say like, I don't like you, Angela, you're like this, like, I have to not take that personal because it's like, well, that's that person's nuanced opinion of me based on how they were raised and this weird thing and their insecurity here and la la la. There's just so many little things that if you remove yourself, you know, and so for this situation with this dude, it's okay. Like he didn't like me for whatever reason. And you know, I can't take it personal because in the same way with casting like you if you're on the other side of it, like you're writing a project and you're casting it, you know, like, oh, I can't. This person's got this thing, this like weird thing about like the voice that might be better with this person's voice, like you don't even know what it is. And same thing with dating. Like they might be like secretly want someone that's more like their mom. And I have no idea how I wasn't like their mom. You know what I mean? Like, there's just like things fit you.

[A]

Don'T want to be.

[C]

But yeah, not taking things personal. Never gossip about yourself or somebody else and like venting.

[B]

Yeah, gossip about yourself. We're doing that now. Describe that.

[A]

What are we doing that now?

[C]

Well, I would say like sharing is different and venting is different than gossiping. But like, I think gossiping is like talking shit about yourself. Like, I'm not that, like, you know, I don't know.

[B]

That's funny you say this. This is something I've been coming around to I long lifelong self deprecating and I really like to like on myself and use it myself as a punchline for. But every once in a while you get one of the two negative, the bad reactions to that. Frequently someone just laughs and you're like having A good time. It made you laugh. But sometimes they give you sympathy and then you have to like, they're like, oh no, you're not that fat. And I'm like, no, I don't think that. And then all of a sudden you're like defensive. And then the other one is when people are, when you're like, yeah, man, I don't know, what am I doing in this industry? And someone's like, yeah, seriously, what are you doing? And like they agree with you and you're like, what? And then you're like just trying to self deprecate and someone's like piles on. And you're like, oh fuck no, you're not permitted to do that. So I've been trying to self deprecate. Yes. Especially with strangers.

[A]

I feel like it's one of those things in comedy especially, I don't know where I heard it, but like they teach stand up comedians, like when you take a class at like Danger Fields or whatever, that the, you want to start out with a joke about yourself because it puts the audience at ease and it lets them know that we're all on the same team. I realize that I'm no better than you. I'm making fun of myself. And like, I find that to be kind of hard sometimes to come out to. Like, I like taking a shot at myself here and there and I kind of based a career on it being self deprecating. But what that does is that you start to listen to yourself eventually and you start to think of new self deprecating bits. And then when a part comes along that's not self deprecated, you can't get there because you're like, I'm not a cowboy, right?

[B]

I'm a Don't be guinea, you know.

[A]

Like, I'm just a Jew, I'm not a cowboy. But like I could be, but I, but it's like that I've, I've stopped myself before I even got there, you know?

[B]

Yeah, so that's like a little self gossip there. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I think it's tough with comedy too because like it's different. Like you're not like you're, you're trying to relate to people or like share something about yourself that maybe makes people think, okay, this person's not some cocky, but you know, whatever. So I get it. But I think just like in real, in real life, in so to speak, like, yeah, talking shit about yourself or other people and that the gossiping about other people is tough because it is a way that people bond Sometimes, you know, movie stuff. Right, Exactly.

[A]

I love a villain.

[C]

I know, I know, I know.

[B]

Almost. Almost every situation has a villain.

[A]

I love a villain.

[B]

Like, a woman was talking on speakerphone at o', Hare, like, waiting, and everyone was kind of like, making eye contact with each other. Like, we hate her. Right. And then we're like, the flight's delayed. And we're all like. I think we all lowkey are putting it on this woman who's like, well, mom said. And we're just like this. And like, we're all looking like. And you just see. And I'm like, what are we doing here? And how frequently have I accidentally been that person?

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. No, there. I like on a movie set that, like, I love you sitting down with the. With the cast after, like, day two. You don't really know each other well, but one other person in the cast is like, wardrobe just, like, is pissing me off. And then immediately it's like, me too, you know?

[B]

And you're like, sound guy is a creep.

[C]

And you're like, yes, yes.

[A]

It's like, I had nothing.

[B]

But you feel validated.

[A]

But you feel validated, and you can both now have a common thing. It's like day three comes in and it's like, how was Marie today? Was she all right with you? It's like, you know, it's like I. I live for that.

[B]

Yeah. It makes sense that it's probably toxic. It is.

[C]

Because think about the wardrobe person and, like, you know, they maybe their dad just died and found out, and, like, they're having a bad day. And now that person's, like, in everyone's mind, like a dick, and they can never bounce back because that person's labeled that way. I don't know. This is just my own, like, peace of mind, but I get it. It is tempting to gossip. No, I love.

[A]

I think what you're saying. I'm saying that it's. I think I need. I think that.

[B]

That.

[A]

That it's that that I can be confident enough to get to know someone based on mutual likes and mutual dislikes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This is pretty comedy specific, but something I'm working on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is not tying whether or not I think the person is funny to me liking them.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

And that's been really. I'm like, eventually I'm like, but they're really nice and I enjoy hanging out with them just because that doesn't mean I can't be friends with them or like them. But for so long, I just equated that with, like, oh, if you're trying to be funny and not. I, I have like a little bit of like a disdain for that or something and I've gotten over that because there are people you're just not going to find funny. I'm in the same industry, same clique for 20 years. It's eventually like, well, I, I guess I got, I'm wondering which one of my friends is wondering who, if they're one of them.

[A]

Right now I'm thinking it's me.

[B]

No, I wouldn't collapse with someone I didn't think was funny.

[C]

Right. Exactly. Yeah.

[B]

But yeah, that was something. That's something I'm, that's like a growth I'm going through of just like, well, hey, I'm glad we're friends. Like, I don't, we don't. It doesn't have to be.

[A]

Well, could you, could you date someone that wasn't a good dancer?

[C]

Yeah. Because my whole idea is that everyone is a, is a dancer, but they.

[B]

Have to be maybe open minded to the idea of dancing.

[C]

I would like, you know, like sometimes if I'm on hinge or whatever and someone's just like, I, I can't dance. Like I'm, you know, I'll be open. I'm like, oh, I maybe could get them around to it or open their idea to it, but it is a little bit of like red flag. It's a little bit of like self deprecating.

[B]

The only thing about me is the way I walk, you know, the way I won't dance.

[C]

There's a lot of people unhinged that like their prompts are, they have a negative thing to like bitch about. Like, like they'll complain about the app on the app.

[A]

Or that's like, yeah, that's a red flag. Right?

[C]

I feel like it's just sort of of like it's like, okay. Or they're complaining, like, tell me something about astrology. Don't you know, just something I'm like, okay, you're not.

[A]

You're like that. Okay. What a widow?

[C]

Doesn't sound fun to me.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, I'll tell you something straight man. If you want to meet women, let's. You don't have to be openly hating astrology. Yeah, Save that for when you're married. You can kind of poo poo it when you're, when your wife wants to do your cards or your birth chart all the time. But when you're single, I think you should be just. Let's not all over astrology. You know, you're really writing Off a lot of interesting dating witchy people. If you just blow that. If you blow past that, I would.

[A]

Guess that it would be harder for you to date someone that wasn't funny.

[C]

That's. I feel like that's like, really what I'm looking for is like, I want to laugh all the time.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I'm specific. I feel like everyone's always like, sense of humor. Sense of humor. But, like, right now I'm like, no, I really want someone.

[A]

You've seen some of the. That I've done on stage. You want to laugh. Like, you know what I mean?

[B]

You're like, I understand. I. I could probably date someone that wasn't funny but thought you were, but. But at least had, like a sense of humor. Yeah, they thought I was. Or if they didn't try, like, if they weren't, like, I couldn't date someone who was doing comedy that I didn't think was funny, but I could date someone who wasn't in the field I did think was fun.

[A]

You know, I don't know if I could. I feel like I. I feel like it's one of the. It's like the main thing, you know? Like, I feel. I feel like if. If I wasn't on the same humor wavelength so that I could be free to think and make whatever joke at whatever time and know that it was gonna be. Yes. Anded or reciprocated or. Or even sometimes heightened in a way that is dangerous, you know? Like, I don't think I would be attracted. I think it would be an instant turn off tonight.

[C]

Well, I feel like. Especially when who you surround yourself with is like, if I were to hang out with all improvisers and comedians all the time, I'd probably sharpen my tool as. But. But if I was hanging out with someone that wasn't as funny or like, they didn't, like, I would. I would feel like it wouldn't be helpful. So I'd rather date someone that, like, I feel more creative and Steel.

[B]

Sharp steel.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[B]

Iron forges iron, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Beer makes beer. I think I lost the last. I don't think that last one is true at all.

[C]

The other fourth agreement is be as clear on communication as possible to avoid misunderstandings.

[B]

I need to work. I need work on.

[C]

Ask questions.

[A]

I'm so bad at that.

[C]

I'm so bad at it.

[B]

I'm so bad. I'm so afraid to, like, straight up just say something Sometimes what I'm feeling, and I'm like, how do I get this Person to.

[A]

To do it without me saying yes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, I use sarcasm. I use, like.

[A]

Procrastination.

[B]

And then every single time you just straight up rip the band aid off, you're like, that felt so much better just being straightforward.

[C]

Yeah, seriously. And I. I challenge or I get challenged with that one. Because I try chill. Like, my whole thing, like, in the last few years, I'm like, I just want to be chill. Like, if a friend. Well, this is a little. Like, if a friend's like, oh, I can't hang out with you. If they cancel and then you see them on Instagram, you're like, so you did go out, like, right? I'm trying to not. Like, I won't use that as an opportunity to communicate. Like, then hurt my feelings. Like, I. I'm like, that had nothing to do with me. That's the, like, don't take something personal section. But then there's a part where you're like, oh, the friend said this and this kind of hurt. Like. Like, instead of me being chill, AKA bury something that I could just say, hey, when you said that made me feel this way. Usually it's something that, like, you can clean up real quick. Instead, you're just kind of burying things. So.

[B]

And the longer you bury something, the, like, the worse. The worse it gets. And, like, the sudden you're like, snap. And you're like, what is this about? You're like, why didn't you respond to my text? And it's like, huh, I was on airplane mode. It's interesting.

[A]

This may be a reach, but, like, it's interesting that you're so. That you're so good at dance and that and that you're so naturally talented for it. And then what you're. Which takes so much balance. And then what you're describing is truly finding, like, the empath balance of caring, of caring for yourself enough, but not too much that it affects other people. And that's a really interesting thing. You know, that you're. You're balanced, but you're searching for balance. Yeah, it's an interesting place.

[B]

We balance a lot here, right? Like, that's, like, a big thing of ours. It's like, yeah, you can party, but maybe you should also drink your water and get your sleep and take your vitamins and, yeah, you could do drugs, but maybe you should also get on the elliptical for a little while or whatever.

[A]

Right? Yeah. I don't think anyone said, yeah, you should do drugs to us, except each other.

[B]

But, yes, yes, I'm saying that that's. That's our. That's our frontal cortex.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I mean, I do mushrooms a lot.

[A]

Are you a mushroom girl?

[C]

I am, yeah.

[A]

What, are you going to the party? Cams or saps and cams and cams or doclet chocolates?

[C]

Well, actually, my therapist is a big. She's all about, like, mushrooms. So she sent me this, like, Willy Wonka chocolate bar of mushrooms and was like, this is a specific strand. You gotta eat the whole thing. It's gonna take you to the other side. And I. And you know, she's like, they call.

[B]

That a heroic dose.

[C]

Truly. And so I ate, like, half of it. And. And I was the most tripping that I ever was in my whole life. And I'm texting her, like, I don't think I should, and she's like, you have to. And so I ate the whole thing, and it was.

[B]

You have to. I need this doctor.

[A]

Who's this doctor?

[C]

She's in la. She's amazing. I'll send you her info, please.

[A]

Her name is Dr. Josh Radner.

[C]

But I did have the most. Like, sometimes you have to go for it like this. And that's the thing. And that. I'm like, oh, shit. Because I would have stopped halfway and maybe would have, like, some of this. But I went to a wild place, like, it was kicking in, and I. My loft that I was in at the time, like, it had all these blue and purple lights, and all of a sudden I saw myself in this, like, ice castle. And then there was this spider who was like, the Charlotte's web spider. And she wore a pearl as a crown, and she kept, like, beckoning me into this.

[A]

No Southern accent, right? Let's not do the Southern accent.

[C]

And then each room was a part of my childhood. Like, I went into one room, this part at, like, a cave or whatever in the cast castle. And it was all pressed, like, pale yellow pressed wood. And I'm like, what is this pale yellow pressed wood? And then I realized that's the. What my wood was made of in, like, my childhood, like, treehouse. And so I had all these weird hangs in the treehouse. And then we'd go into a dark room where it was sad. And then we go in this other room, and I'm remembering all these things. And then at one point, all the dogs. Like, my dog started licking my tears. And, like, all the dogs from my past were then licking my face, like, so there was, like, Star Wars.

[A]

Like, the end of Star Wars.

[C]

Is that the end of Star Wars?

[B]

There's like the Jedi's who have died are up in the sky kind of like nodding like proudly.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was like just like beautiful.

[C]

Yeah. And that. And she just sent me another one and she's like, I think it's time for another one.

[A]

So she could send those in the mail.

[C]

She did send them in the mail.

[A]

I gotta get her.

[C]

No, you got it.

[B]

Yes. Let's go.

[C]

Well, I've had so many surgeries that I used to be scared to go under. And I now I. I've had 12 surgeries going under since cancer. And that's also because I'm. Thank you. I really. It's also like elective because I chose to do so many reconstruction surgeries. There's all these like. I got the implants out and then I heard that you can build breasts out of fat and like that would take like four different surgeries and all this stuff.

[B]

Oh man. You know, like locks of love. I would love to just donate fat.

[C]

I know. Trust me, everyone's told me that. And I them about it. Cuz I had to gain weight to do it. And he's like, for some reason your body will reject anyone else.

[B]

It makes. That makes total sense.

[A]

But that to choose where they take it from.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. We got thigh.

[A]

You made the right knee.

[B]

All right.

[A]

You made the right choices.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm checking out. I want to make sure we're not.

[B]

Throwing the baby out with the bath water here.

[C]

But I got, I am. I love going under because it is the most. So like the first time I went under, I was so nervous about, about it, but it was so peaceful. It's the, it's the ultimate.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Right before you go under, it's like surrender. You have. Who knows what's going to happen. And it's peaceful as hell.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And then so the doctors at the time, they were, they were randomly talking about lunch when I first had my double mastectomy and it was a very mundane conversation, but I remember it. And when I woke up I was like, wow. I remember them talking about lunch. And then so the next time I had a surgery, the anesthesiologist is like, is there anything you want? Like, do you want us to read you a Bible, scripture, like any songs, countdown, whatever? And I was like, like, could you talk about lunch? Like. And he was like, huh? And I was like, you know, I don't know. I found it soothing. And so they went all above and beyond for it. And it was so funny because I'm like not even moved from the one chair to the table yet. And they're coming in, and he's like, who's. What are we having for lunch today? Like, the whole group was in on it.

[B]

We initiated a group game for you.

[A]

This is actually too much.

[C]

Yeah. I was like, let's focus a little.

[B]

But it's like the whole hoagie with, like, me dripping out of it while they're, like, looking, like, putting iodine on your body. You're like, okay, okay.

[A]

Giving you the thumb. This is what you wanted, right?

[B]

You said lunch. Right.

[C]

It just was so funny, and it was like, oh, okay, I'm gonna roll with this. But every time I've gone under, I'm like, oh, this is just. It's the. My. It's my favorite.

[A]

We.

[B]

We.

[A]

I feel like that feeling is, like, the.

[C]

Have you gone under?

[A]

I've gone under, yeah. Like, I had a colonoscopy, and, like, it's so funny that that feeling is so great when the. When the rest of it is such a horrible mess. But then you get that feeling, and you wake up and you're like, that was the greatest sleep I've ever had in my life. And my stomach feels amazing. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, shit, I got to do a colonoscopy.

[A]

You haven't done one yet.

[B]

We should do an episode on it.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

But I heard the prep is less invasive now. But I don't know anything.

[B]

I have a camera that's in there now, but it's facing out.

[A]

Your tail cam.

[B]

My tail cam. I don't know if I need a colonoscopy, because all the cameras. All the toilets in my house have cameras in them. Do not use a bathroom at my house.

[A]

You're the best.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on.

[C]

This was so nice to hang with you guys.

[B]

We want to take a trimburn class. For real. We're going to come through.

[C]

All right. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're here, come to the ballet recital.

[A]

I would love that.

[C]

It's a ballet class that I teach in character. I mean, I act through the whole thing. I come in, and I'm wearing, like, a 1940s, like, black dress. I'm Ms. Angela. I do, like, a French accent, and I basically, like. My goal is that if you're in a ballet class with me, like, you get to feel like you're in the world of ballet, but there's no technique to it. And we're just doing, like, the Swan Lakes, and we're doing, like, some fun choreo.

[B]

But oh, that's really fun.

[C]

Yeah. And so the whole goal is to feel like you're in, like, a movie, like center stage or something like that. So the ballet corps recital is like, we've done a year of working on these routines, and now you get to feel like a professional ballerina. But it has a very inner child. Like, it feels like a child recital as well, you know?

[B]

That's awesome.

[C]

I like that. It's really cool.

[B]

Well, it's like combining, like, doing stage comedy with, like, dancing.

[C]

I mean, everyone laughs so much. I'm like, oh, I still got it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[A]

Yeah. You're the only comedian that's also a dancer. It's like you gotta have it cornered.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I might. I have to learn some weird skills so I could be like, the funniest juggler. Patreonberg, thank you so much. It's a pleasure.

[C]

Thank you so much. Yeah.

[A]

Why was today so much fun?

[B]

Because we had beautiful women as guests and. No, we. We maybe shouldn't even talk about this because then other people are like, wait, was I considered a beautiful woman Amazon then?

[A]

Yes, you were.

[B]

Yeah. And I think most people are. Everyone's a beautiful woman. To me, that's true. It's 2025. Anyone is a beautiful.

[A]

I don't see race. I don't see religion.

[B]

I don't see level of attractiveness, attract or gender.

[A]

I just see.

[B]

I just be.

[A]

If you out in the streets, I'm.

[B]

Out in the street. I'm paying, baby.

[A]

I got cash jokes.

[B]

Sex trimmer's. The conversation with Angela was. Was inspiring.

[A]

I was so happy to speak to her, and I don't think I had spoken to her. I spoke to her not recently, but, like, recently enough that I knew things were going well. Yeah. But it was just nice to catch up and hear everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've been like, we've known her for so long, and she was. She's so funny and so cool. And then, like, I really. I really glommed on to the. Like, I decided I was gonna, like, live like a dancer in Manhattan. I'm like, that's something you could just do for own happiness if you want. If you want to be like, I'm gonna pretend like I'm a basketball playing stoner in Manhattan.

[A]

But I like. I also like that it wasn't pretend that it's like.

[B]

Right. It's not. She's.

[A]

She's like, she. She's doing this thing that so many people talk a big game of, which.

[B]

Is like, that's I guess more what I'm saying is like, she pulled the trigger. She pulled the trigger.

[A]

She's like, you know what? I want to live in New York and be a dancer. Am I gonna give up acting? No. But acting doesn't come around as much, so. So I'm going to be a dancer. And now I think of her as a dancer. And you know what? Angela is so good and talented that you don't know. You don't know what role comes around the corner. It's like, but. But that won't change that she's a dancer. And that's what I took from her was like, she found herself and now the industry doesn't matter.

[B]

Yeah, well. And she's a fucking survivor. She.

[A]

She.

[B]

We name checks the four agreements and, like, runs us through that. This was a very informative episode. I'm inspired and I'm ready to dance, too.

[A]

Yeah. If she's there, I'll dance. If Angela's teaching me, I'll do anything.

[B]

Yeah, just whatever you say, babe.

[A]

Yeah. Standing at attention.

[B]

I want to date my mom and you.

[A]

Why is that weird?

[B]

Wait, was that weird?

[A]

Oh, no. Stay alive, buddy.

[B]

Will do.

[A]

You do now. I'm trying to. When we do these things because I see the point coming. I'm trying to beat you to it.

[B]

Yeah. Rather than say it at the same time.

[A]

Like Charles beating Kenny to the backboard.

[B]

And we're staying alive. You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pally. A Smartless media production in association with Sirius xm.

[A]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[B]

Associate producer and video producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano, assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw.

[A]

Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at SiriusXM.

[B]

Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh, me. Adam Pally. Ooh, you, Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[A]

Just so everyone knows we do not have a discord.

[B]

Don't reach out to us.

[A]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands.

[B]

When I go to the fruit stand, I'm like, can I get a watermelon and lube it up? I don't have a bag, so I'm going to carry it home the old fashioned way.

[A]

I like to order three and juggle them down the street.

[B]

I'll have a couple of lubed up watermelons and large black coffee. Smart.

[C]

Medium.

[B]

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