Zorb Whippit (w/ Eric Andre)

Summary

Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: “Zorb Whippit” (w/ Eric Andre) — January 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This riotous episode of Staying Alive welcomes comedian and chaos agent Eric Andre for a personal, unfiltered, and hilarious discussion about health, aging, drugs (lots of drug talk), and the strange realities of trying to care for yourself as a professional fun-lover. Hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally dive into stories from Gabrus’s recent “regression weekend,” Andre’s legacy of absurdist comedy, the societal contradictions of drugs and wellness, and their own messy efforts to “stay alive.” The episode stands out for its self-aware, no-holds-barred banter, surprising vulnerability, and constant hot takes on health, addiction, comedy, and the systems propping up (and failing) modern man-children.

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Episode Structure

• Catching Up: Gabrus’s “Boys Weekend” (00:41–05:24)
• Comedic Bonds & Eric Andre’s Persona (05:55–15:15)
• The Craft of Chaos: Behind the Eric Andre Show (15:24–19:44)
• Drugs, Whippets, and Pandemic Vices (20:05–25:20)
• Drug Culture, Propaganda, and Policy (29:15–37:44)
• Modern Health & Aging: Medications, TRT, and Weight-Loss Drugs (40:31–54:57)
• Random Riffs: OnlyFans, Hasidic Flip Phones, Famous Longevity (38:12–43:56, 61:31–62:37)
• Wrap Up & Love Fest (55:58–59:49)
• Post-Episode Extras: Bloopers and Jewish Technology (61:31–62:37)

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Boys Weekend & Regression (00:41–05:24)

• Gabrus recounts an epic weekend of tailgating at Notre Dame, reconnecting with childhood friends, surviving the Chicago winter, and regressing to “full-blown 23-year-old mode” with 25-year-olds who “aren’t party animals” but business grad students:

  “I was just above miserable… because you’re drunk.” – Jon Gabrus (02:51)

• A major correction: Turns out his friend’s dad isn’t dead (“Shout out Chris!”).

Friendship & Comedy Circuit Origins (05:55–15:15)

• Pally and Gabrus recall their evolution from “fans” of Eric Andre to peers and friends.
• Deep comedic respect expressed both ways:

  “I was friends with him and then he became huge and then still stayed friends, which is like… a victory for him.” – Adam Pally (06:16)

• The room riffs on show business anxieties, midlife, and Marvel movie dreams slipping away.

Eric Andre: The Persona vs. The Person (15:24–19:44)

• Andre shares how his wild persona confuses industry people about his actual vibe:

  “If people knew how normal I actually am, I’d be way more successful… people would hire me!” – Eric Andre (15:53)

• Pally concurs: “We both have that rep where people are a little scared… we’re actually normal.” (16:01)

Writing The Eric Andre Show: Controlled Chaos (16:54–19:44)

• Peek behind the curtain: The show is run tightly, with “brilliant minds trying to outstupid each other.”

  “The room was: smartest comedians, dumbest ideas possible.” – Eric Andre (18:32)

• Hilarious sketches discussed, including abandoned bits (“face and genitals through the wall, mafia-style”).

Drug Technology, Quarantining, and Whippets (20:05–25:20)

• Eric and Adam open up about their “whippet phase” during the pandemic, how party habits escalated, and the line between fun and dependency:

  “All my gal pals were like, you have to stop doing whippets.” – Eric Andre (20:53) “They make mushrooms more awesome… cocaine and whippets are best friends.” – Eric Andre (25:01)

• Discussion of “drug tech” making excess easier: “There’s no more roll another joint, it’s just dab rig to the face.” – Gabrus (26:42)

Societal Drug Policy & Propaganda (29:15–37:44)

• Andre drops knowledge (via his friend Hamilton Morris) about the arbitrary distinctions between “good” v. “bad” drugs:

  “Ketamine and PCP are kissing cousins… all the scare stories are propaganda.” – Eric Andre (29:44–30:20)

• The conversation goes deep:

  “It’s all this irresponsible journalism… a vestige of Nixon and Reagan, just a way to have an excuse to arrest poor people.” – Eric Andre (30:29) “All drugs were legal until 1914 and the rate of addiction hasn’t changed.” – Eric Andre (35:00)

• Crack v. powder cocaine sentencing disparities discussed, plus the CIA’s role in flooding Black communities with crack.

Health, Aging, and Modern Medicine (40:31–54:57)

• Discussion turns to testosterone replacement therapy (“dancing with the devil”) and how influencer podcasters appear “like they’d split open if you touched them with a scalpel.”
• Gabrus and Pally compare their statin, baby aspirin, blood pressure, and SSRI regimens.
• Pally is on GLP-1s ("Wegovy"/weight loss drug), which he says cut his risk factors; Gabrus is denied by insurance (“You won’t believe this… the moment I need to use my fat to get medicine, they’re like, no. Welcome to the American health care system.” – Gabrus, 54:57).
• They riff on genetic luck versus chasing health fads:

  “Some lady in Des Moines is 114, been drinking Dr. Peppers for 30 years.” – Eric Andre (49:58) “Life’s a genetic crapshoot.” – Eric Andre (49:42)

• Andre’s wildest health exploration: getting stuck in an Australian hyperbaric (oxygen) chamber.

Drug Use: Experience vs. Stigma (multiple)

• Open, thoughtful talk about the value of psychedelics and the misguided “war on drugs.”
• Pally’s dad’s PCP story (“guy hands him a joint, says that was PCP – parks car for 12 hours, shitting and tripping” 31:36–32:04).
• Andre: “The government doesn’t want you to do your drugs, they want you to do their drugs. That’s why Oxy, Xanax, and Adderall are legal.”

Random Round-Up: OnlyFans, Celebrity Longevity, Hasidic Flip Phones (38:12–43:56, 61:31–62:37)

• Andre dunking on OnlyFans (“I jerk off the old-fashioned way… on a school bus with a gun to my head.” 38:46)
• Bizarre talk about celebrity anti-aging rituals: blood transfusions, stem cell baths, back-to-tanks, “Keith Richards has 250,000 miles on the odometer.”
• Hasidic flip phones and running communications “through a sheet.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Whippets & Pandemic Regression:

• “We did like Bootsy Collins, Hunter S. Thompson amount of junk… but the only thing that stuck post-Covid was I was doing whippets all the time. They’re so fucking great.”
  — Eric Andre (22:40)

• “Cocaine and whippets are best friends. And Tusi and whippets are even better friends. Oh, really good friends. Is this a health podcast or an unhealth podcast?”
  — Adam Pally (25:08)

On Persona vs. Reality:

• “If people knew how normal I actually am, I’d be way more successful… people would hire me!”
  — Eric Andre (15:53)

On Drugs, Policy, and Stigma:

• “Ketamine and PCP are kissing cousins… all the scare stories are propaganda and journalism that goes into the war on drugs, a vestige of Nixon and Reagan… a way to arrest poor people.”
  — Eric Andre (30:29)

• “All drugs were legal until 1914 and the rate of addiction hasn’t changed.”
  — Eric Andre (35:00)

• “You won’t believe this. The moment I need to use my fat to get medicine, [insurance says] no. Welcome to the American health care system.”
  — Jon Gabrus (54:57)

Miscellaneous Gems:

• “I just served the best goddamn appetizers you ever had, cause you’re about to get a small, overcooked steak, no sides.”
  — Jon Gabrus, on cunnilingus as compensation (14:17)

• “We could get this guy, but Adam’s palatable.”
  — Eric Andre/Adam Pally riff on Hollywood casting (27:49)

• “My friend’s dad isn’t dead – shout out, Chris!”
  — Jon Gabrus, after a much-needed correction (05:23)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:41 – Gabrus recounts “regression weekend,” Notre Dame & Chicago trip
• 05:55 – Introducing Eric Andre, discussing comedy relationships
• 15:24 – Eric on his persona versus private self
• 16:54 – Inside the writers’ room at The Eric Andre Show
• 20:05 – Pandemic whippet stories
• 29:15 – Drug propaganda, PCP/keta discussion
• 40:31 – TRT, medicine, and influencers’ body changes
• 49:42 – Genetics versus effort in longevity
• 54:57 – “Welcome to the American health care system”
• 61:31 – Hasidic flip phones and analog living

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Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• Exercise & Therapy: Eric’s only “non-negotiables” for staying alive: “Exercise is non-negotiable and therapy is non-negotiable. Have to do therapy at least once a week and exercise almost every day. Even if it’s a middle-aged man walk.” (20:24)
• Drugs and Pleasure: The crew’s open, harm-reduction approach to “unhealthy” pleasures. They balance joy and caution, discussing how society’s health narratives are shaped by class and politics as much as science.
• Aging & Masculinity: Candid, comical confessions of their evolving bodies, dependence on modern medicine, and attempts to stay in the game—bolstered by friendship and self-awareness.
• Eric Andre’s Genius: The episode underscores Eric’s range—not just a chaotic comedian but a thoughtful, disciplined craftsman with sharp insights on society, health, and everything in between.

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For New Listeners

This episode showcases the unique comedic chemistry and candor of Staying Alive—an unvarnished window into the lives of aging funnymen, the lines between self-care and self-destruction, and the real stories behind showbiz masks. Whether you’re concerned about your own health, curious about modern masculinity, or just in need of smart, unfiltered laughs, this one delivers.

No need to listen to ads, intros, or outros—just dive in when you want to learn about staying barely alive and fully entertained.

Transcript

[John Gabris]

Smart. Last.

[Adam Pally]

There's a couple good young bands right now. Are you into Geese?

[John Gabris]

I like Geese. I like Idols more.

[Eric Andre]

My.

[John Gabris]

My favorite, like, new band, favorite young person band is Wet Leg right now.

[Adam Pally]

Well, like, they're so hot. I like them. I like Fontaine's dc. I'm into Fontaine's dc. I'm into music again. I feel like I like a band dance.

[John Gabris]

DC is fun.

[Adam Pally]

There's like a lot of good bands. I feel like I know. Dude. No one wants.

[Eric Andre]

What is this podcast? It's nothing, guys.

[John Gabris]

Eric, thank you for asking.

[Eric Andre]

What the is this podcast?

[Adam Pally]

It's not even.

[Eric Andre]

Is there a premise?

[John Gabris]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

No.

[Eric Andre]

Or am I just looking at two meatballs, two calzones over here, two before pictures.

[John Gabris]

Mommy's. I said to the guy, he goes, two before pictures. We got to do a couple of big follow ups. I had a fucking insane travel day to get here. But also I did the boys weekend with Notre Dame and the Chicago Bears this past weekend. We're film. We're recording this on the Tuesday after. I was drenched to the fucking bone in South Bend, Indiana for Notre Dame. Smashing Navy in the night game. Tailgated all day long with 25 year olds and my two childhood friends who I haven't seen in 30 years.

[Eric Andre]

Wow.

[Adam Pally]

And so you flew. So, so you, you this weekend. You, you. When did you leave la?

[John Gabris]

I left LA Friday.

[Adam Pally]

And you went to Indiana?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I went to Chicago to just have drinks Friday night, then drive Saturday morning to Indiana. Spent two and a half hours in traffic from the Uber to my hotel. Went out to dinner with my two.

[Eric Andre]

My two.

[Adam Pally]

What's that?

[John Gabris]

I was at the Radisson Blue. It was just because we picked the cheapest one that was closest to my buddy's apartment because we were leaving the next day for South Bend. Went to Notre Dame, tailgated at Notre Dame game, which was fucking awesome. It didn't start raining till we walked into the stadium, so it made the tailgate pretty okay. We had ponchos. I had the most layers I've worn in my entire life. Like, I.

[Adam Pally]

You're not a layers guy.

[John Gabris]

I'm not a layers guy. I'm not a winter clothing guy. That's why I just put on all my gear, my one pair of gloves, my hat, my Patagonia shell I bought on 101 places. Well, True TV bought me on 101 places to party before you die.

[Adam Pally]

Yep.

[John Gabris]

That you put in the pile for me. You're like, no, no, you get this. Get this. And then I had all these layers on poncho we watched the fucking game. It's a great fucking time.

[Adam Pally]

How many people are in that same. It's huge.

[John Gabris]

It's enormous. And it's so crowded. They don't have chairs. It's benches with the little marks on it. So it's absolutely. And those collect water and get.

[Adam Pally]

I wouldn't be miserable.

[John Gabris]

I was just above miserable.

[Eric Andre]

Because you're drunk.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. I can't believe I had a good time based on like the kind of other specifics around it.

[Adam Pally]

And was it awkward with your two friends? Because these are childhood friends we've talked about.

[John Gabris]

I haven't hung out with as grown ups.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

I don't even know what they're really.

[Adam Pally]

Was it awkward?

[John Gabris]

It was not awkward. It was. I mean we're also all giving each other so much grace. Cuz we're just so giddy to be there for the first time in 30 years. We're not. I'm not gonna like bust balls the way I normally do. Like I don't wanna get in someone's head. Get someone in their head about something, you know. But also my buddy. Cause he went back to school at a late age. A lot of his friends are 25 year olds. So we're tailgating with 25 year olds. But they are 25 year olds from like a business master's program. So they're not necessarily party animals either. And I just showed up and was like absolute. I'm like, no one smokes weed here.

[Adam Pally]

They were like, it's illegal in Indiana.

[John Gabris]

Yep. I'm blasting fucking J's in the fucking. And I'm. And we have a great fucking time. That's the night game. We crash at one of his friend's grandpa's houses outside of South Bend.

[Adam Pally]

You didn't even know where you were staying. Dude. This is like you're 43, dude.

[John Gabris]

I know. It's a full blown regression weekend. We wake up Sunday morning, drive to a stranger's house. In a stranger's house. A stranger's grandpa's house. So twice removed.

[Adam Pally]

Don't even know the grandpa smelled great. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Just met the lady whose grandpa it was. Crash in their house, shout out thank you for letting us stay there. Zoe's grandpa. And then we wake up the next morning. Chicago Bears kickoff is at noon from Soldier Field. From Soldier Field. So we drive back from two and a half hours. Yeah, it's like two hours straight to his apartment. Get in there. Relayer up. And now we add Giants jerseys to our layers because all three of us are from New York. So we have them. Including. I have a Rodney Hampton jersey that says Gabris on the back.

[Adam Pally]

Hell yeah.

[John Gabris]

That my friend Jim, the Notre Dame business guy, he got for me for my 12th birthday. I found it in my dad's closet last time I was home. I put it on over my hoodie and it like cut the circulation off on my arms. It just did not really fit. But I was so stoked to wear it. Show up to Soldier field. There's like 12 Giants fans in our section. It's so much fun. Soldier Field. Fucking awesome.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, the new Soldier Field.

[John Gabris]

It's so sick. You walk along the lake there and back, it's freezing, fucking cold. Flurries falling the whole time, getting a full blown winter experience. And those of you who are watching or listening to this podcast, just look up what happened in the Giants. Bears smoked Jackson dart, got a concussion, his fourth one. The Giants lost. Like the Bears put up 21 points in like the fourth quarter and then.

[Adam Pally]

They fired the head coach.

[John Gabris]

Yep. And then table got fired. Crazy fucking weekend. And the one thing is, I have to make an amends to the last to the Manzoukas episode. When I came on, I was like, I'm gonna be reconnecting with these friends and we all have dead dads. My friend Chr. Chris just would like to stay for the record, his dad is not dead. Shout out. My buddy. I did not know.

[Eric Andre]

I thought he was.

[John Gabris]

Correction, I thought he was. I assumed because he had been sick in the past and I never heard anything. Well, we got a wonderful guest today. Enough of our bullshit.

[Adam Pally]

Amazing. One of my. One of my oldest comedy friends.

[John Gabris]

One of those dudes that turned from. I turned from a fan of. To someone who I'm friends with, which is like a very cool experience to be like look up to someone and then eventually work with them and just become.

[Adam Pally]

I was friends with him. Like I was friends with him and then he became huge and then still stayed friends with him, which is like one of those.

[Eric Andre]

Victory.

[Adam Pally]

Another victory for him.

[John Gabris]

It's a testament to how cool both of you guys were about him too.

[Adam Pally]

I think it's a testament to him that like he became huge.

[John Gabris]

And God help you when I blow up.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, I know.

[John Gabris]

I'll call into this podcast.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, right. Call in.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, it's me. I'm on set doing. Yeah, okay. I can't even make up a. I can't even riff a fake job.

[Adam Pally]

Are you kidding?

[John Gabris]

That's how bad unemployable I am. I can't even rip a Hyp riff.

[Adam Pally]

A hypothetical gambling on speed dial.

[John Gabris]

No, please take it.

[Adam Pally]

When you get your job.

[Eric Andre]

Your Marvel job.

[John Gabris]

When I'm finally Marvel. We're like hoping for Marvel and 2026 is a crazy bet.

[Adam Pally]

It's so sad too, to still be clinging to the idea that we could make it.

[John Gabris]

Oh, I know all the. All the roles I wanted to play growing up. I'm too old to play now, and so I've had to readjust what I want to play and I still can't get it.

[Adam Pally]

Still can't get it. Yeah, no, it's really sad. And then I'm like, diluted. Like delusional. Be like, I just got to get something going.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Once I get something going, then I'll be able to play a Navy.

[Adam Pally]

Like, you know, you got to get going. You got to get going. Your car into the river.

[John Gabris]

You know what? You got to get going. Your 401k. You have a. You have to have.

[Adam Pally]

I don't even know if I have one. I don't think I have one.

[John Gabris]

I'm guarantee you better. I'll call your dad. Your dad's been calling me like every day for like six months. I'm going to call him Fine.

[Adam Pally]

And he will tell you he's fine.

[John Gabris]

I'm more concerned with your.

[Adam Pally]

I'm concerned.

[John Gabris]

All right, let's fudgeing. Get to Eric.

[Adam Pally]

Andre. Andre.

[John Gabris]

I had to buy this because I. My luggage has not arrived yet, so I had to buy. These are two day old sweatpants.

[Eric Andre]

What do you mean your luggage has not arrived?

[John Gabris]

I landed last night and they lost your. Yeah, Allegedly supposed to come today.

[Adam Pally]

He was on a government sanctioned.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Plane.

[John Gabris]

I was on Air Force 4.

[Eric Andre]

Wow.

[John Gabris]

It's a puddle jumper.

[Eric Andre]

Tact controller of New Jersey.

[John Gabris]

I was telling Adam before we started recording, I got served this week, like four different clips of you on interview shows being an absolute menace. And I was like, we have Eric coming on on Tuesday and I'm watching you absolutely make. What's his name? Larry King. Disassemble Larry King went fucking spiraled. So it was awesome.

[Eric Andre]

He fucking. He like. He like control deleted his brain.

[Adam Pally]

He really did. I think you were the cause.

[Eric Andre]

He was like in a K hole.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, he really did look like he was in the K hole.

[John Gabris]

He was like, so what do you do for fun? At one point you were like, I kiss Larry King or something like that. He could not process it.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, that's art.

[Eric Andre]

I go, larry, why do you hate me? He goes, I don't hate you. I'm Trying to conduct an interview with a maniac.

[Adam Pally]

That's high art to me, dude.

[Eric Andre]

That's. You know, he was like, so I'm a Jew from Miami. He's a Jew from Miami. And he's.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you would have hit it off.

[Eric Andre]

He. Well, he thought I was Puerto Rican. The whole time he sounded like he's, like, Jewish, but he. He was like, such a degenerate gambler. Stole money from people. Total Miami's comeback. Yeah. Like, he got one of his biggest ups, was he paid for a hot dog at a hot dog stand with a check, and the check bounced because he was constantly going bankrupt.

[Adam Pally]

So many kids, and yet he's like a sultan. And yet the thing I always loved is that you could sit. See him regularly at Nate N's if you went to Nate Nate. Nate N is the really, truly one of the only good delis in Los Angeles that, like, feels authentic.

[Eric Andre]

Old school.

[Adam Pally]

Old school. Like, Langers is good, but, like, a lot of those delis in the canters.

[John Gabris]

And Langers have, like, a different vibe.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. But, like, a lot of them feel like Uncle Paulie's deli or something.

[Eric Andre]

It's like. It's a remix.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

This is like old, old Nate nows. And they have on the men shout.

[Eric Andre]

Out to Uncle Paulie.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

No disrespect.

[Adam Pally]

No disrespect, Uncle Paulie, but there's, like, I would love.

[John Gabris]

I'm so honored to pay 17 dol for bacon and cheese. It makes me feel just like I'm at a New York hotel.

[Adam Pally]

Like, they have.

[Eric Andre]

What.

[Adam Pally]

We're just talking about Larry King on the menu. Larry King's order, which is burnt egg white matzah Bry, yo. And he. It's awesome. He would get it every day, and you could see him. Like, I would go, looks like he.

[Eric Andre]

Ate that every day.

[Adam Pally]

And you would see him, and he would be there. Like, that's where he would be 45 years old. He would see him in the wild almost.

[John Gabris]

He has, like, a hundred kids. They keep being born, and, like, he's hoping not his. But then they have little suspenders on at birth. It's yours, Larry.

[Eric Andre]

Check again. Check again. Mor.

[John Gabris]

He's dancing to Mory.

[Eric Andre]

I'm trying to conduct that interview, but.

[Adam Pally]

That is like that to me. That's like one of your comedy specials. Like, your Lion King interview is like a piece of art. Like. No, it's like a truly. It's like, thank you.

[Eric Andre]

I'm very proud of that.

[John Gabris]

While we're gassing Eric up Here, glazing gas me up.

[Eric Andre]

Glaze me.

[John Gabris]

My favorite fucking sketch bit you've ever. The one that makes me laugh the most is when you're in. It's. I think it's from your old TV show. When you're in a fucking deli and a domian comes in as a cop and starts arresting you and then pins you up against the wall and you.

[Adam Pally]

Guys start kissing and then it goes.

[Eric Andre]

Like.

[John Gabris]

Homophobic.

[Eric Andre]

He's got.

[John Gabris]

And there's also the racially tinged like white cop pinning a black guy.

[Eric Andre]

We were like, we were like shooting in Brooklyn and I went to my line producer, I go, new York's so progressive. What's going to be the most homophobic place we can film? And he went, Jamaican restaurant. I was like Jamaican. So we like sourced a Jamaican cafe and then went full blown. The lady was so offended by the bit that the Jamaican lady that. That own the restaurant usually you got to. So. So this is how prank production works. If you're filming inside, if you're filming outside on the streets, just let it rip. But if you're filming inside, you got to get permission from the owner. But then she doesn't tell the employee, she doesn't tell anybody. Then you prank people, you bring customers in, you prank. Nobody on camera knew. And that lady, the owner wasn't even there that day. But then through the grapevine she found out what happened, what the bit was. And she was like, I don't play those games. And like gave us the money back. We gave her a thousand bucks for a location fee. She gave us the money because it cuz her homophobia overrod money. She like, quick, that's a quick gram.

[Adam Pally]

That's the devil's cash.

[John Gabris]

The Jamaican stereotypes of being hardworking and homophobic coming head to head right there.

[Adam Pally]

God forbid you went to like a Nigerian house.

[John Gabris]

What if you ate someone's while you were in the restaurant?

[Eric Andre]

What if you ate DJ Khed's wife's in the restaurant?

[John Gabris]

Another one.

[Eric Andre]

Did he historically be like, I've never ate my wife's vagina. I was like that I have such a weird divorces. You. You don't have to say who. Nobody gave you a question that laid that out.

[John Gabris]

That wasn't the answer to a question you were asked.

[Adam Pally]

Is that now like it. It's such a weird like if you're.

[Eric Andre]

Middle Eastern or African, I guess. So what. But even that comes out of sexism. It's like homophobia comes down to sexism. It's like men should act this way Women should act this way. Tony, your wife's for whatever I, I love be really bad in bed.

[John Gabris]

It's like Uncle Junior kills that guy cuz they're talking about how much he likes eating Sopranos.

[Adam Pally]

That's one of the weirdest.

[John Gabris]

So real, dude.

[Eric Andre]

They're like if you eat that means you're gay. Which is like. I couldn't even. I couldn't think of something less gay on this earth. I don't know lesbian thing you could do.

[Adam Pally]

You think this guy's going to be.

[Eric Andre]

Able straight man to eat a. I can't. I can't think of a more heterosexual.

[John Gabris]

God help every woman I've ever been with if I couldn't. If I didn't eat. She would have liked 30 seconds of story time.

[Eric Andre]

That's my whole strategy.

[John Gabris]

I gotta eat.

[Adam Pally]

I live down there for a half hour. Cause I know when I'm coming up, the timing is gonna start to.

[John Gabris]

I just serve the best goddamn appetizers you ever had. Cause you're about to get a small overcooked steak, no sides.

[Adam Pally]

I hope you like the amuse booze.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, I was just about to make.

[John Gabris]

An amuse boo fill up on the fucking aperitifs cause I got nothing else. I already came twice at the bottom of the bed in sniper position. Pussy with like one leg up.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, I love that, that scene in Bad Grandpa where Johnny Knoxville goes up that lady in the old man makeup and he goes hey, just cuz I can't stir the soup don't mean I can't lick the ladle. The best thing you can say if your erection doesn't work.

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[Eric Andre]

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[Adam Pally]

Eric. So we, we. We've been friends for a long time and I, I find that like your reputation. Like we like you were watching those clips about you. Your like who you. Your comedic Persona and then just you being Eric. It's like they're kind of in contrast a lot of.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Adam Pally]

Because I feel you to be one of my actually rounded like truly like you are terrifying.

[John Gabris]

Like if the world knew how actually normal and easy you are to talk to.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, but you know what I mean.

[Eric Andre]

I think I'd be a lot more successful, but people would actually hire me.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, he's actually kind of fun to be around. It's not as Stressful as it seems, we both.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, I feel like we both have that reputation in a certain way where, like, I feel like people are slightly, like, don't know that we're fairly, like, normal.

[Eric Andre]

Well, clearly, it's shtick. I mean, like, how could I. I, like, write and produce for a show if I was as insane as I am on the Eric Andre show?

[John Gabris]

I'm like, yeah, final product is insane. It got there via production.

[Eric Andre]

Nothing would last. It was. I did six seasons.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

And.

[Adam Pally]

And, I mean, I was in that room for only a little bit, but, like, it was so awesome. Like, being in there was, like, awesome. That was like a murderer's row.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

When I was in there, it was like, me, like, just being. Watching you run a room.

[Eric Andre]

We got that. Jamaican homophobic.

[Adam Pally]

That's where that came from. But, like, she wrote the bit.

[John Gabris]

Watching you run a room, Adam Pally.

[Adam Pally]

Watching you run a room was also like. You're like, oh, this is just high. This is comedy at the highest level in a run room, the way any sketch show at a high level would be run.

[Eric Andre]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Adam Pally]

But it's like, the things on the board were. The realtor sketch that we wrote where we.

[Eric Andre]

We.

[Adam Pally]

We were gonna.

[Eric Andre]

Did we ever put it in?

[Adam Pally]

I don't know if we got in, but it was like, we were gonna. We were gonna have you. We were gonna have someone else be a realtor, like Rory or me be a realtor, and. Oh, and they would go open a. Be, like, look at this room. And you were gonna be in the wall, like, trapped in the wall with your face and your. And your genitals out and your belly. So it was just gonna be, like, a front place, like, Harrison Ford style. But face, belly, and the mafia put me in there. I think they put you in there, and you're like, help.

[Eric Andre]

We should have done that.

[Adam Pally]

I know. Oh, my God.

[Eric Andre]

We ran out of time. We did one realtor bit that I kind of want to show you if I can find it, but it's not as good as that. I forgot about that. Oh, my God. That was.

[Adam Pally]

I just. I don't think I've ever seen a comedy room start, like, building and pitching what everything looked like so quickly, you know? It was just awesome.

[Eric Andre]

There's some. There's some days better than others, but, yeah, we just, like, like, disarmed the writers by saying, like, that Conan line where he says, if you over. If you overthink, you start to stink. So we would, like, warm up the room with, like, who can Come up with like the smartest people I know. What, who can come up with the stupidest idea ever and that would like, I don't know, just disarm people. And then we'd try to stupid each.

[John Gabris]

Other like out bottom each other on it.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah.

[Eric Andre]

I was like, how about that was the whole writing process for the Air Garden show. It's like the stupider the better. Find the smartest comedians you can and them write the stupidest jokes possible.

[Adam Pally]

Is that how you did the movie?

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, kind of. I mean, no, the movie, the movie was a different beast because it, it, it needed a narrative that like if you had a prank that was not on story, it never would make it into the movie. Like we had some killer pranks that never saw the light of day because that needed like narrative structure because it's.

[John Gabris]

A 90 minute horned in there.

[Adam Pally]

I mean that. Tiffany.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, I mean we had like that gorilla prank where the gorilla me in the ass. But at least I went, went, you know, oh, Maria, the girl I'm in love with, she loves animals. Like I should take a selfie with the gorilla, right?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

We needed at least that little piece.

[John Gabris]

Of narrative connective tissue before we get to the gorilla.

[Eric Andre]

Let's pitch that around Harambe. We're like, what if you have a Harambe moment but the girl starts you the ass. But we're gonna have another gorilla ride a train on me. Like we just could. Only that gorilla suit was like a sophisticated special effects build. So we didn't really have the budget for more than one.

[Adam Pally]

It's so funny. I have two gorillas on you.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Gabris]

That'll be the someday to get by.

[Adam Pally]

Two gorillas.

[Eric Andre]

Oh yeah. We wanted like rhinoceros just to come in and start me and all this.

[Adam Pally]

You being passed around the zoo is so funny.

[Eric Andre]

Like a rag doll. Caligula.

[Adam Pally]

Bukaki Caligula. The animals.

[John Gabris]

I hope my girlfriend likes this.

[Eric Andre]

Anyway, I hope she. I hope the girl I have a crush on likes this. Not even my girlfriend.

[Adam Pally]

How are you feeling? Like physically? Because you've been. You look good.

[John Gabris]

You asked us at the beginning what is the premise of the show? And you're about to find out. What do you do to stay alive, Eric? Andre? That's the only question we have.

[Eric Andre]

Exercise is non negotiable and therapy is non negotiable.

[John Gabris]

Okay, those are.

[Eric Andre]

I have to do therapy at least once a week and I have to exercise almost every day. Even if it's like middle aged man walk.

[Adam Pally]

Green flags. Those are green flags.

[Eric Andre]

But it's like, because when I fall off and I'm not like perfect at that philosophy, but when I fall off, like, all the demons come in.

[John Gabris]

You have no idea how well you fit into exactly how we go by, like, if I don't exercise, I'm still not perfect.

[Eric Andre]

I had to quit.

[John Gabris]

Clearly I haven't figured it out.

[Eric Andre]

I had a whippet intervention. Like recently. All my gal pals were like, you have to stop doing whippets.

[Adam Pally]

I was doing whippets. I was doing whippets two nights ago.

[Eric Andre]

Oh yeah. I'm like, day five.

[Adam Pally]

This is like recent two nights. No, me too. I'm serious. I was in Philadelphia doing fish. A fish. No, I. I filled in for Paul Shear's podcast and then I was there and I had a cousin in Philadelphia. So we went out to dinner, had a few drinks, and then I was walking him back to his place and he's like, let me stop off of this smoke shop to get a cigarette. And I hadn't been a smoke shop in like a long time, but as.

[Eric Andre]

Soon as you walk, you saw those whipped cream canisters.

[Adam Pally]

Exactly. And I was like, give me that.

[John Gabris]

Galaxy gas you have.

[Adam Pally]

The guy was like, nitrous. I was like, yes.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

So we, my cousin and I eat beach, bought like a thing of nitrous, went back to my hotel and just laughed for like three hours.

[Eric Andre]

I used to just do it like at my birthday party. It was like a once a year affair.

[Adam Pally]

A legendary affair then.

[Eric Andre]

And thank you then in quarantine didn't matter anymore. You know, everybody was drinking white Russians at 11 in the morning.

[John Gabris]

That's a weird. Like a lot of people started drinking earlier and earlier. But adding like increased whippets in the pandemic is a little different than cracking a 2pm beer, which is.

[Eric Andre]

Dude, we started, we did like Hunter S. Thompson. Loads of. I had my quarantine team, which I had like a group of like eight, ten friends that were, were all. I was in a long term relationship at the time. We were all like couples. So we would all cook outside. I have a little barbecue set up outside the house. We would all get tested for Covid once a week and we'd all cook outside and drink outside all day, every day. And then I had just finished tour February 2020 and I had just did my Netflix special. So I had a little bit of nut.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, that's a good.

[Eric Andre]

I had a little bit of money to live off of. And then we just. Then we did like Bootsy Collins, Hunter as Thompson's amount of junk. We were drinking so much and doing so much. But the only vestige of that that stayed post Covid, I was like doing whippets all the time. They're so fucking great.

[Adam Pally]

They're the best.

[Eric Andre]

They're the best. You're high for seven. But the thing is, you're crackhead instantly because the high is so trans. It's seven seconds that you need that you keep going.

[John Gabris]

So it's so easy to do it multiple times.

[Adam Pally]

And then if you're doing it. If you're doing it like with old.

[John Gabris]

School style health and wellness podcast, unpack the dangers of whippets with pure experience.

[Adam Pally]

If you're doing it with like the one balloon cracker, like, old school style, because that doesn't even. That you don't even need that anymore. That's like passe, you know?

[Eric Andre]

Now you can get the galaxy gas or the tanks.

[Adam Pally]

The tanks, yeah. But like, if you're doing it like that.

[John Gabris]

I remember Pally has the blue velvet mask.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

For real, dude. I saw the other. The other day, I was.

[Eric Andre]

It's like the bong. The bong.

[John Gabris]

The bong gas.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I was driving like, on like 86th and 3rd, picking my daughter up from volleyball the other day, and like a white van, like, peeled out in front of me and I was like, whoa, hit the brakes. And I look over and the guy's.

[John Gabris]

Like, what are you doing?

[Adam Pally]

I'm like, I'm in the lane. He's like, man picks up a galaxy thing. And like, I was like, jesus Christ. Is everybody on the road? Like, like, it's so easy to get, but it really is the best. And like. But what I was saying was like, you, you crack. I remember being young. You crack one balloon into the thing and you do one balloon. You're like, oh, that was awesome. And then the cracker would come around again and you'd be like, I'm gonna do a double.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Boom. And the next time I come around, you'd be like, I wonder if I could full triple.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah. You know, by the time you get this big ass balloon.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. By the time. By the time the was on, you were doing, like balloons that big.

[John Gabris]

You're kicking Wayne Coin out of his big bubble. One of those zorb funging, absorb, whip it. You get inside it and just fill it up.

[Eric Andre]

They also make every. They work with every drug.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

So like, they make mushrooms more awesome.

[John Gabris]

Yes.

[Eric Andre]

They make drinking more awesome.

[Adam Pally]

They do.

[Eric Andre]

And they make more molly more awesome. They're like friends with Everybody, Cocaine and Whippy hangover.

[Adam Pally]

Cocaine and Whippets are best friends. And you and Tusy and Whippets are even better friends. They're really good friends. Oh, really good friends. And that's a bummer.

[Eric Andre]

Is this a health podcast or an unhealth podcast?

[Adam Pally]

It's a health podcast that we host.

[Eric Andre]

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[John Gabris]

Drug technology has gotten so powerful that it doesn't have the old built in limitations of like, hold on, let me roll another joint. It's like you, it's like, no, just put the dab rig to your fucking edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eric Andre]

And it's like that I can't do. Weed is the only drug I can't do.

[John Gabris]

Really?

[Eric Andre]

If I smoked the teeniest bit of weed right now, I would say, I have to go now. And I would grab all my stuff and I wouldn't make eye contact with anybody and I would get in an Uber and go home.

[Adam Pally]

Is it just too psycho?

[Eric Andre]

Whatever autism I have, it just fucking cranks it up.

[Adam Pally]

It's weird because I feel like it, it dulls my autism. Like I feel like it, like it makes me more palatable for the human.

[Eric Andre]

Palatable.

[Adam Pally]

I become Adam Pal, you know, middle.

[John Gabris]

Of the road superhero.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, well, because otherwise I'm like, if.

[John Gabris]

You'Re a cook and your name is Adam Palatable, it's like, yeah, it's pretty good.

[Adam Pally]

Honestly, that is great.

[Eric Andre]

But you know, it's edible.

[Adam Pally]

That's how I get cast. I'm in the middle of every list. They're always like, we could get this guy.

[Eric Andre]

But Adam's palatable.

[John Gabris]

I just remembered something when I was at south by one time with Eric and we were up on the same show show. And he goes, gabris, do you want any of this? And it's a Ziploc bag. And he's like, some fan gave me this. And I, I don't do. The Ziploc bag was like one of every drug. It was like acid fans in a smaller bag. It had dmt. And I was just like. And I was like, I'm. I'm like, what? I don't even know what all these are. By eyeballing them.

[Eric Andre]

You're like, I don't take, I don't take drugs from fan fans.

[Adam Pally]

You got. Yeah, that's all.

[Eric Andre]

That's a little bit sketchy.

[John Gabris]

No, I have not played because they.

[Eric Andre]

Could be like, I put 100 hits at that guy's crazy. I put 100 hit ass. You're this crazy, man. And then I'm like, in the er, I.

[John Gabris]

It's like, David Tell had to stop doing shots with people during insomniac. Cuz he's like going to kill him.

[Adam Pally]

I was always kind of weary about like taking drugs from strangers because my dad had one story about when he was a cab driver in the 70s and was your dad from here? And he was like doing the route of JFK was like a big route. So he, he'd drive by the hotels in midtown, pick someone up, take him to jfk. So he's doing that route from Times Square, pick someone, someone up, going, JFK. The guy rolls a joint. This is like 77, 78. Hands it to my dad. My dad's like, yeah, great. You know, I'll make work a lot easier. Takes two hits, coughs a lot. It's like, this is harsh. Guy gets out of the car, he's like, hey, thanks for that joint. And the guy goes, oh, that was pcp.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, baby.

[Adam Pally]

My dad, I did PCP recently for.

[Eric Andre]

Real, because my guy, my psychedelics guy had, had, had it on the menu. I was like, he has pcp.

[Adam Pally]

What's it like?

[Eric Andre]

Like? It's just like ketamine. Oh, all the scare stories out of the 80s.

[Adam Pally]

It's just not like Helen Hunt jumping out of a second story.

[Eric Andre]

So here's what happened. I'm friends with the Hamilton Morris from Hamilton's Pharmacopeia. He's the greatest fucking reference. He's like a reference book.

[John Gabris]

Future guest.

[Adam Pally]

Future guest, right?

[Eric Andre]

He goes, ketamine and pcp are kissing cousins. But rich, you know, upper middle class or rich white people do ketamine. Lower middle class, the poor white people do pcb, crystal meth and Adderall. One molecule different, virtually the same drug. And he goes, but poor white people do crystal meth. And middle class to rich white people do Adderall. So he goes, it's all this, what's he call it? Irresponsible journalism. He goes, there's all this propaganda and irresponsible journalism that goes into the war on drugs. And it's a vestige of Nixon and Reagan, and it's just, just a way to have an excuse to arrest poor people.

[Adam Pally]

Right? Just keep the industrial prison complex.

[John Gabris]

I've never smoked dust on purpose.

[Eric Andre]

Well, I snorted it. I had a little bit of it, and I did a little toot and it was fun. I, I'm not a big ketamine guy, though. My petting was getting ketamine and I was like, I'll do PCP while you do ketamine.

[Adam Pally]

I'm not a big ketamine person. I think it's like there's. It's talk about autism. Like, I, I think, think. I think it hits me.

[Eric Andre]

Oh, it is ketamine. I'm like, huh? You say something.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I know it hits.

[Eric Andre]

I'm like, what's his name? Oh, God. Oren. Oren Wilson.

[Adam Pally]

What's Owen Wilson?

[Eric Andre]

Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson in that interview where they're like interviewing him and he's like, yeah.

[John Gabris]

We all know Custer died at Little Big Horn. But what my book presupposes is, what if he didn't. Wildcat.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, no, I, I, the PCB actually.

[Eric Andre]

Was a little more. I was a little more social in comparison. But I've only done PCB once and I've only done ketamine a couple times. But I interrupted your dad's story. No, no. So your dad rips two like a cocoa puff, Like a cocoa something dipped.

[Adam Pally]

In embalming and 70s styles. You know, the way he tells bug spray on, you know, doing the 70s style joint. 12 extra puffs, 12 extra puffs in the hands, back. And so then the guy's like, hey, that's PC. Enjoy yourself. My dad then goes and parks the car under the bridge to Randall's island, like the, you know, where the skyline is. Pretty much stays there for 12 hours.

[Eric Andre]

Wow.

[Adam Pally]

He was tripping and shitting in the car. No cell phones. My mother is like, where are you?

[Eric Andre]

I hear these also the, the things that were total junk stories from the 80s, from like the Reagan era, where the PCP makes you. Gives you super strength.

[John Gabris]

It was an excuse to unload clips in the PC.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah. Journalism. And it allows cops to fucking blow people's brains out. Yeah. It doesn't give you super. So the only thing that gives you super strength is steroids.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Show cops, they would be like. And this guy was all. He had, smoked crystal meth. So we knew one bullet wasn't going.

[Eric Andre]

To do the trick.

[John Gabris]

Like, they would talk like that.

[Adam Pally]

I felt like the Hispanic version of that was bath salts a couple years ago coming out of Miami because, like.

[Eric Andre]

Totally. And that guy. That zombie ate that other guy's face.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

They did a drug test on him. He had almost no drugs in his system. They just found like a little trace of marijuana in the system.

[Adam Pally]

No baths, nothing like that.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, nothing.

[Adam Pally]

I feel like that was a propaganda model that was just for them to go in to, you know, fringe neighborhoods in Miami. Yeah, the guy was from Haiti.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, the guy was Haitian. They were like, great, poor, clean people. Let's. Yeah, dude, to our day. What's the guy from the Philippines that just goes into poor neighborhoods and kills everybody? I think there's a drug dealer in there.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

I mean, that's what we're doing. That's a boat.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, that's what Trump does. That's why you don't want to get on a carnival cruise. Because Trump is pretty much like C7.

[Eric Andre]

I think there's drugs over there.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Also.

[Eric Andre]

Chris Rock has the best joke. He goes, the government doesn't want you to do your drugs. The government wants you to do their drugs. That's why, like OxyContin, Adderall and Xanax are legal.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

But, you know, and alcohol is like, probably the most dangerous.

[Eric Andre]

Well, alcohol they tried to prohibit in the 30s and it was a total disaster. Gave rise to Al Capone and all the shit. But Hamilton also told me there's no more caustic drug for your organs than alcohol. So basically almost every drug you do is safer. I mean, it's all about the dosage, Right. If I do a fudgeing scar face, pile of ketamine or. Yeah. Or name it, you know, it's pretty bad. But he goes, alcohol is ethanol. Your liver oxidizes ethanol as this chemical called acetaldehyde. This chemical called acetaldehyde, which is this like nitrogen known carcinogen. That's what the hangover is from. It's like you're drinking one poison and your liver is converting it into a harsher poison. Through oxidation. It's bad for your pancreas, your digestive system, everything. So he goes, I basically. My buddy calls it organ Sober. He does every drug except alcohol and heroin. He doesn't do anything.

[Adam Pally]

Well, I was gonna say there is. There is like needles, stuff like that. That or it does.

[Eric Andre]

Well, you can put it. Anything in a needle.

[Adam Pally]

I know, but that needle is just a medium. But I get dangerous to me, I.

[Eric Andre]

Feel like needles are.

[Adam Pally]

Needles are dangerous.

[Eric Andre]

But the guys are Molly coon, shoot up, Jack Daniels.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I know, but they just needed that needle.

[Eric Andre]

Needles are dangerous. You got to read that book. You will die. The Burden of Modern Taboos. He talks about, like, the history of taboos. Spitting, farting, shitting, picking your nose. But he talks a lot about the war on drugs and a lot of. About sexism and homophobia. Like. Like sex taboos, really. And he goes into. He goes into the same thing how the. That Nixon explicitly said when he was caught on tape that he created the DA DEA to patrol black neighborhoods. And he trumped up that, oh, there's a drug epidemic going on. And people are like, what? But the. All drugs were legal and in the United States till 1914. But the rate of drug addiction has not changed at all since before that to like through the 70s till now. Rate of. The rate of drug addiction. I'm talking not drug use. Drug addiction has been like, whatever it was. And it says. Explains in the book better than I'm saying. And I read a while ago, I think like 1.5% of the population or something like that. So. But he was like, Nixon has this quote where he's like, the real problem in this country are the blacks. And we need to come up with a Gestapo bureau that monitors the black communities and throws black people in jail, but without looking like it does. So we're going to say, you know, and acid wasn't legal illegal until Timothy Leary and Ram Dass and all those guys were ripping it in Harvard.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

And then Nixon made it illegal, you know, so there's like, the second they.

[John Gabris]

See dissent, they being whatever the man. Power, power structure. The second you see dissent and it's coming from, wow, the hippies are flipping out and tuning out. It's like, let's make that illegal. They undid the hippies and they undid, like, the black revolutionaries using, like, the same tactics of, like, making what they're into illegal. Making protest and making. Bringing crack, making it illegal.

[Eric Andre]

Crack and coke almost exactly the same. Everyone's like, whoa, smoking crack. You're a crackhead Whoa.

[John Gabris]

Crack, crack, crack. The only difference between you're a celebrity.

[Adam Pally]

Baking soda and then smoking it and smoking it.

[Eric Andre]

But it's like the same drug, but it's all that. Yeah. There's harsher sentencing for crack. Possession over coke. You can have 5 milligrams of crack and 5 milligrams of coke. You'll go to jail for longer for the crack because it's a. That's a law that came out of Reagan, you know.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, and that and that. And getting crack into the. Into the black community was.

[Eric Andre]

Was like a CIA operation. They got it from Belize, right?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. They first.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah. They introduced. Don't even deny it.

[John Gabris]

Jeremy Renner in the film Kill the Messenger. Highly recommend checking that out. It's kind of like the story of the journalist who broke that and really ended up dead.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

The tracks.

[Eric Andre]

I'm. I'm surprised.

[Adam Pally]

More journalists.

[John Gabris]

Finally we're getting into conspiracies and shit on this podcast. This. This is going to do Boku numbers.

[Adam Pally]

No.

[Eric Andre]

You know you did like seven influencers with like huge Sydney Sweeney boobs like bouncing around.

[John Gabris]

Are you getting served? These guys who are a podcast where they are interview porn stars and the porn stars just tell porn stories or that's like.

[Eric Andre]

That's got to be the only way to get somebody to listen to a podcast or see it on. There's a whole world of that.

[Adam Pally]

I've seen like there's a whole. And they're there different cultures that have. I've seen like the. The like heavy metal tattooed one and then I've seen like the like new wave porn of like the website. Are you on Only Fans? Do you do only fans?

[Eric Andre]

I did it as a. Not as a joke, but I did it like kind of publicity stunt when Bat Trip was coming out. But do you go and then I donated all the money. I got money quick. Really not. Not like to retire off of. But I got a big chunk of change quick and I donated it to all these like sex workers.

[Adam Pally]

But do you. Do you ever go on and. And are you a consumer? Consumer of only fans?

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Oh, no.

[Eric Andre]

I jerk off the old fashioned way.

[Adam Pally]

I'm on an only fan on a school bus.

[Eric Andre]

On a school bus with a gun to my head and a single bullet. American.

[John Gabris]

You know, I kind of analog this way.

[Eric Andre]

No, on only everyone's going analog, dude. I got a hidic flip phone and a gun to my forehead and I'm jerking off to the Maps app. Amazon Pharmacy presents painful thoughts. 20 more minutes to kill in the pharmacy before my Prescription is ready. Maybe I'll grab some deeply discounted outof season Halloween candy. I never had a chocolate pumpkin with raisins before. Those were raisins, right? Next time use Amazon Pharmacy. We deliver and no, those were not raisins. Amazon Pharmacy Healthcare just got less painful.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

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[Adam Pally]

Well, testosterone is.

[John Gabris]

We gotta get on that.

[Adam Pally]

That's the thing that I'm so interested.

[Eric Andre]

In because I always think about it. I'm like, let me get on that and get ripped Kumail Nanjiani style. But I think it's.

[John Gabris]

We got Kumail on the pile.

[Eric Andre]

I think it's hella cancerous. Yeah, it's scary and I think it you up. I think it makes your body comes dependent on it. It's like you're dancing with the devil in the pale moon.

[Adam Pally]

Your skin turns to like hot dog pink hot dog pink consistency of the outer part of the hot dog. You know, it's got like you. Yeah, you're like. In a way, you get baloney ish. It's like. And that can't be good. Like when. When your eye, when the whites of your eyes are the same red as the skin.

[Eric Andre]

The only person that works for is Sean Penn's character. In one battle.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

All the.

[John Gabris]

All these like real juice head like test guys that are all, weirdly enough podcasters and comedians, they all feel like if you like touched a scalpel to their skin, they'd completely split open and like be born again out of their old car.

[Eric Andre]

Like they all have like this white flaky. What's the Demi Moore movie like this.

[John Gabris]

Skin that feels like it's about to crack off of them. Like, like old, like nursing ankles.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah. I think suckling pig at a Filipino barbecue.

[John Gabris]

I didn't hear what you said.

[Adam Pally]

It does Joe Rogan.

[Eric Andre]

I was like, laton didn't work suckling pig at a Filipino or Cuban barbecue.

[Adam Pally]

Joe Joe Rogan does look like you could walk up to him and pull his ear off him, gnaw on it, you know? Yeah, yeah.

[Eric Andre]

Like a dog. Like a dog.

[John Gabris]

Man will pick him up, snap into a slim J.

[Eric Andre]

Bit his head off. Anyway, we got to get on that tea dog. I don't know what's the worst. I walk away from the Charlie Sheen documentary being like, I need to do more drugs. Well, Eric, you're not listening.

[John Gabris]

There is an element of seeing someone who's. Who's pushing even further where you're like, well, I'll never go there.

[Eric Andre]

I'll never go that far.

[John Gabris]

But I guess there's a little bit more Runway than I thought.

[Eric Andre]

Well, he should be dead, like, 20 times over. And he will not live to see. He definitely won't live to see.

[John Gabris]

President Butta Judge.

[Eric Andre]

President Macy Gray.

[John Gabris]

I tried to take him.

[Eric Andre]

President. Doctor Jones, in my opinion. I like prefontaine fried chicken with Vice.

[Adam Pally]

President T Bone Burnet.

[John Gabris]

Everyone with the most gravelly voices.

[Eric Andre]

Captain Beefheart. Like, how much longer do his organs. Your organs have odometers? You know, like, how much longer till his heart does?

[Adam Pally]

Keith Richards, infamously.

[Eric Andre]

That's true.

[John Gabris]

He's got 250,000 miles on that vehicle, but they've been redlined at 8,8000 rpms. His entire.

[Adam Pally]

I'm pretty sure Keith Richards is still out there. There, dude.

[Eric Andre]

You think he does those illegal Lithuanian backdoor blood transfusions? I think where they get, like, a. A pregnant Lithuanian, like, nine and a half months pregnant. They, like, suck plasma out of her and, like, put it through their. It's like, she's like, oh, you give me 400 rupees, right? They're like, yeah, lady, this is for my family. I think I'm crowning. Can you keep the noise down? We're trying to suck the plasma out of you.

[Adam Pally]

Don't put me back in Chappelle's van. No more Chappelle V. You ever been in Chappelle? Like, Dave Chappelle, when he rolls up in that big, like, sprinter van, it pulls up, and every time I've seen it, and, like, the door opens.

[Eric Andre]

You mean when he's on tour? Yeah, tour bus.

[Adam Pally]

There's an eye, There's a Lithuanian woman. There's an IV hanging.

[John Gabris]

There's always Dave Chappelle Tours.

[Eric Andre]

And that's like, hangover cure.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, Whatever it is, he's getting it.

[John Gabris]

He tours in an ambulance.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, like, whatever. He's got Dave has got another person bleeding for him. He comes, he rolls into that. He Rol.

[Eric Andre]

That's why he does those seven hour sets.

[Adam Pally]

No, because he comes in, rolls into that van after drinking a full bottle of like High Noon during a seven hour gig and he's like, someone hook me up, hook me up, hook me up. They hook him up and they roll over to like eight hours to the next city and he comes out fresh as a daisy in a new pair of Rick Owens.

[Eric Andre]

Him and Keith Richards might be onto something.

[John Gabris]

It would be fucking awesome to just do a show, get into like a bacta tank and they drive you to the next show. Just like hook up to like oxygen and IVs and just ROL City.

[Adam Pally]

They really relied on that back to tank in that show.

[Eric Andre]

I went into an oxygen chamber. Like a hyperbaric. Like a Michael Jackson chamber.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

When I was in Australia recently, I was filming a movie out in Australia. I don't.

[Adam Pally]

Who was in that movie? You? Andrew Santino?

[Eric Andre]

No, I wish. I love said I miss Santino. It was, it was a street fighter movie. So we just filmed like, like, just got back from Australia for this a few weeks ago.

[John Gabris]

Who are you playing again?

[Eric Andre]

I was trying to get Blanca Kitao, the guy that I basically created.

[Adam Pally]

Erica directing it.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, he's directing it. Oh. So. And I'm so proud of him and it was so awesome to see him just thriving on set. So he's, he's been working on it forever. So I keep being like, I'm Blanca.

[John Gabris]

You gotta get.

[Adam Pally]

I'm Blanca fit.

[Eric Andre]

And he goes, I got you.

[Adam Pally]

We gonna wear all that.

[Eric Andre]

I got you, I got you. Right? When they start casting Jason Momoa calls him out of nowhere. He goes, yo, dude, I want to be blonde. And he's like, I got a text. Eric. Yeah, yeah. He's like, no problem.

[John Gabris]

And then he's like, I hope Eric likes doll sim.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, no, it was, it was like way more. He goes, hey, man, Jason Momoa took Blanca. I was like, momoa. And then it's always me and Mimoa neck and neck. You almost got beautiful Clydesdale. Super nice, easy to work with. He's trying to fat Kit. Kit goes, I love Jason. He's fucking amazing.

[Adam Pally]

He is kind of. I love Jason.

[Eric Andre]

Don't body shame him.

[Adam Pally]

I'm not body shaming him. I'm just saying of all those guys that, that are ripped, I like him the best because he.

[John Gabris]

He's not ripped.

[Adam Pally]

Not ripped. He's just.

[John Gabris]

He's muscular.

[Adam Pally]

He's looks like he has a good time.

[Eric Andre]

So this is what I'm trying to say. Now I'm playing Chun Li. No, no. So. So.

[John Gabris]

So Kell goes.

[Eric Andre]

Listen. Goes the whole Street Fighter universe. It's like you only played when you were a little kid. There's Street Fighter 3 through 5000. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

There's million Varia character never heard of.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So. So he goes, I got you this guy. He's going to be. His name is Don Sage. And I looked him up and he goes, don't even worry about it. Nobody knows this character and it's a blessing. He goes, just improvise and be crazy and let's do our Eric Andre show style shit. And it was the funnest gig I've had in a million years. It was the only time I ever worked with Guital because we've been working together for 20 years where I had no produce, oral responsibility. And I could just show up and really riff like Robin Williams at the height of his coke addiction. Like between takes on Popeye, the Popeye movie. I was just like. And then the. The crew was like, this guy's bloody brilliant. It was the most fun I got to ever have with Kitao.

[Adam Pally]

Also my buddy. I don't know who else is in the cast, but you're probably the funniest person I want.

[John Gabris]

50 Cent than you.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, well, no, but, like, you get. You show up on those.

[John Gabris]

He's Balrog, right?

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, it's Eddie Murphy. He's Chun L. He's Ken.

[John Gabris]

Hercules.

[Eric Andre]

Hercules. You see the clumps, right? It's like that. But 50 Cent, he's doing.

[John Gabris]

Your boy's doing everything down there.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, he's in the clumps.

[Eric Andre]

The clumps are in it, too.

[John Gabris]

I was in.

[Eric Andre]

Wait, why did I bring up Australia? I didn't even bring it up to brag about Street Fighter.

[Adam Pally]

You did oxygen check.

[Eric Andre]

So I go to this spot and they're like, ask about our hyperbaric chamber. I'm like, what the fuck is this? And it's like this two young Chinese people working. Working at the counter. They're like in their 20s, right? And I go, can I do the hyper bear? They're like, yeah, we never used it before, but we can. We can figure it out. I get locked in it, dude, they lock. They put me in this thing. It's like a cage. And it's like, blah, blah, blah. It starts saying, like, weird Siri voice things. And then it went like something was broken and I couldn't get out. And I Was like, oh, this is like, they're murderers.

[Adam Pally]

That's a nice.

[Eric Andre]

And this is like solos murdered. Yeah. No, I was like, this is a knife. I'm gonna. I'm gonna fucking basically, like, drown.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

In this. And then they finally got me open, and the girl was like, I'm so sorry. Let me try to fix it. She went in there, closed it, and.

[Adam Pally]

Her co workers are doing.

[John Gabris]

Then she got locked in longer than.

[Eric Andre]

Me, and I was like, let's unplug this thing.

[John Gabris]

Let me just hit the steam room.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, but maybe we gotta start doing that transfusions.

[John Gabris]

Former guest of the podcast did the hyperbaric chamber for a hundred straight eight days.

[Eric Andre]

What was it? What was the result? They. Is it all a crock of. Or is there really in the middle?

[John Gabris]

It's in the middle, yeah. It's like a proven thing. It's. It's proven.

[Eric Andre]

I don't know really what it does.

[Adam Pally]

It's. It's like anything. Like. I feel like that what we've heard about all this shit is like, it kind of works. It doesn't work.

[Eric Andre]

It's like, you know, I think life's a genetic crapshoot. I think you. You meet the. Whenever they interview, like, some, like, lady in Des Moines, they're like, honey, Martha, you're 114 years old. How you do it? She goes, I drank four Dr. Peppers every day. That's a real carton of cigarettes.

[John Gabris]

That's a real person. I saw this clip. She drinks three Dr. Peppers a day, starting at the age of 80. She is 104 now.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah. So, like, what's the. What's the.

[Adam Pally]

That's how I think. I feel like. So, like, something.

[Eric Andre]

And then you meet Jack lalanne and they're dropping dead.

[Adam Pally]

So does anybody know that reference? Yeah, Jacqueline, the exercise guy. I mean, I feel like that's the tiger.

[Eric Andre]

The.

[Adam Pally]

The unfortunate thing. All this is like.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

An oxygen bearing, an oxygen chamber might help a person whose genetic makeup fits that and needs that and. And. But for other people, it's like, man, doing it.

[Eric Andre]

I think. I think the presidents of the United States. And at that level, like, billionaire level, you have access to, like, the Lithuania. Like, Jimmy Carter.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

If Jimmy Carter was just like, a guy that worked at a factory, he would have died 35 years ago. Well, like, he was like, 101.

[Adam Pally]

Why they keep driving Trump to the hospital? Do you keep seeing toes?

[John Gabris]

He's got a car can only have so many accidents and miles on it before. You know what I mean?

[Adam Pally]

Like, I.

[Eric Andre]

And he's big. Bringing all that weight into your 80s is like.

[John Gabris]

They're rinsing him in stem cells every morning. Like, they're doing everything. They're, like, doing Jean Crisper. They're, like, you know, adjusting his chromosomal makeup and like that. Yeah, dude, they're like, swimming, like, you know, they're just, like, scrubbing it with stem cells. He's like Baron Harkin in fucking Dune. He's getting the dip and all that shit. And he's still just. He's just too far gone to, like, not to come back from that. But Biden was kept alive by, like, electro. Like, there were people operated. No, we don't know.

[Eric Andre]

Well, he died, like, 10 years ago.

[Adam Pally]

That Dave Biden. Like, do you know in the movie.

[John Gabris]

Dave, the reason they find out it's not the president is because she sees his dick and recognizes that it's different.

[Eric Andre]

That's the plot. I don't remember.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I might have to rewatch it.

[Adam Pally]

I don't think that's how it happens.

[John Gabris]

It's not.

[Eric Andre]

I'm more of a King Ralph kind of guy.

[Adam Pally]

I. I hit a vape before my vape and before he came, and something's weird about it.

[John Gabris]

And then.

[Eric Andre]

So he goes, is it weed or tobacco?

[Adam Pally]

It's weed. No, it's only weed. I can't do vape tobacco. But. But it's something I do.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Vape.

[John Gabris]

Cialis gives me rock hard to laugh at dull hits with the boys.

[Eric Andre]

Pass me that.

[John Gabris]

We're all just rock hard, hanging out.

[Adam Pally]

What's this new.

[Eric Andre]

Just hit it.

[John Gabris]

You'll see, bro.

[Adam Pally]

Why are you hitting weights?

[Eric Andre]

What are you doing?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, why do you look so good?

[Eric Andre]

I've been in better shape, but I.

[Adam Pally]

I'm on Wegovi bogovi. I'm on Korean barbecue right now.

[John Gabris]

Oh, wait. That's why I'm not losing any weight. My doctor's giving me bulgo. I'm injecting Korean short ribs into my stomach every morning.

[Eric Andre]

What is that, a semi gluten?

[Adam Pally]

It's a GLP one. Yeah, but I was giving it for diabetes and heart issues because it is a wonder drug that has cut stroke and heart attack in people over 35 by, like, 50%.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, I heard. I. I hear about that, too. And I heard baby aspirin. I take one.

[Adam Pally]

Baby aspirin. I do a baby aspirin.

[Eric Andre]

I do a cholesterol. This is real middle age.

[John Gabris]

I'm on statins and blood pressure meds.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, Crestor.

[Adam Pally]

Crester.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I'm on lipitor that or I.

[Eric Andre]

Got a new SSRI try.

[Adam Pally]

I'm on Vyvanse and Prozac.

[Eric Andre]

It's called Trintellics. This was pretty good because I had too much side effects. The Zoloft. I gained like 30 pounds right away and didn't. Couldn't get a. I got a boner, but I couldn't come.

[Adam Pally]

Well, Butrin was a nightmare for me too.

[Eric Andre]

Vibrid. I. Vibrid was better. I lost the weight and I got some sexual function back, but I couldn't. I had no libido. Trintellix is just back. I have no side effects from this. I mean, it sounds like an bad, but like, you know, amazing. So far, so good. So I got the ssri. Like crester. There's one. Oh, I'm doing the baby aspirin one today.

[Adam Pally]

I'm. I. I was also recently given a reflux one. So now I'm on six. I think I have a six. A six?

[Eric Andre]

You shoot it in the gut every once a week?

[Adam Pally]

No, in the thigh. Once a week?

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It's 0.25 of Wovi.

[Eric Andre]

The only thing I worry about is losing muscle and losing bone density from that stuff.

[Adam Pally]

He's keeping up his resistance training pretty. I'm in. I'm in the gym a lot.

[Eric Andre]

Oh, good for you.

[Adam Pally]

But it's not. I'm not on enough of it to have an effect that will. Like, I'm on the.

[Eric Andre]

Just gotta keep your protein up and go to the gym.

[Adam Pally]

Exactly. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Stavi was on the podcast and he called out. He's like, it's pretty crazy that Adam's on GOP one.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

Would you do it?

[John Gabris]

Would you ever want to? Yeah.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

But you.

[John Gabris]

You won't believe this. My fucking health insurance. Shout out SAG Health Insurance. Great fucking union. But they denied me GLB1. Like. And my doctor is like, I don't know what to tell you. Like, you're obviously a guy who needs. He's like, you have to call him and talk to them. The idea that my whole life I've been called fat. And then the moment I need to use my fat to get medicine, they're.

[Adam Pally]

Like, no, you can't.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, welcome to the American health care system. I know, but I need to get.

[John Gabris]

Fatter to get the help I need.

[Adam Pally]

But I've told. I've told this before. When I first started on it, I was a little heavier, but I. And I was having trouble losing like that weight.

[Eric Andre]

Cuz I drink and alcohol and Chinese food do do it for me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Gabris]

And I love par. They go together.

[Eric Andre]

Beautiful parents.

[Adam Pally]

I get like. I get like a marriage baby in a baby carriage.

[John Gabris]

It's like booze. Chinese.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Post drinking is like, the best.

[Eric Andre]

Oh, my God. It's happened.

[Adam Pally]

So they.

[Eric Andre]

Especially in New York. York. It's like. It's a city built on alcoholism and Chinese.

[John Gabris]

Whenever I visit New York, it's, like impossible not to eat 1600 calories right before bed of sweet and sour. Something and like, just falls.

[Eric Andre]

Dim sum.

[Adam Pally]

Dim sum.

[John Gabris]

Young dumb and full of dim sum.

[Eric Andre]

Forget it.

[Adam Pally]

I think you should get that tattoo.

[John Gabris]

Enough.

[Eric Andre]

That's Ali Wong's new special, actually.

[Adam Pally]

But, I mean, she's 46.

[John Gabris]

I just crossed. Crossed off. Young cross it out.

[Adam Pally]

Just full of dim sum.

[John Gabris]

Just dumb and full of dim sum. 0 come.

[Adam Pally]

Dumb 0 common. Full of dim sum.

[John Gabris]

Sorry, I come.

[Eric Andre]

Never mind.

[John Gabris]

Stop back.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you for being here.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, thanks. Did I contribute to the premise of the show? Did we?

[Adam Pally]

Did we?

[John Gabris]

We're not gonna hold you to a different standard. We hold ourselves.

[Eric Andre]

I was like, do you want anything out of this?

[Adam Pally]

You're here. Honestly, your presence is a present.

[John Gabris]

No, what we are. What we. What want out of it is $185 after taxes every week.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. Yeah, I get that.

[Adam Pally]

I'm not even making enough on this to take lessons to find out what a pied. A tear means.

[Eric Andre]

Okay, so it's just an apartment that you occupy Partially.

[Adam Pally]

Okay.

[Eric Andre]

Like, part of the year.

[Adam Pally]

I can't even dream of something like that.

[Eric Andre]

Can you guys do my podcast anytime? I'm doing a podcast about bombing. Oh, please do it.

[John Gabris]

I've definitely.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah, I just asked people for bombing stories.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I have done.

[Adam Pally]

Have me Terrible shit.

[Eric Andre]

Have me whenever in Brooklyn or downtown in Dumbo. All right. Yeah, please. How long are you in town?

[John Gabris]

I'm only in town for a couple of days. This run, my brother's wedding.

[Eric Andre]

But we're doing some LA shows this week. Yeah. When's your brother getting married?

[John Gabris]

I was a tough Saturday, but I.

[Adam Pally]

I live here and would love to.

[Eric Andre]

See you hang out with me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I would love to come.

[Eric Andre]

I got to get your number.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I think you have it. I think I have. You have my number, but I only get the. I get that birthday text every year, which is always fun. The craziest flyer you can get to your phone. Hey, friend. Hope to see you here. Just like, it's in the sk. Scariest neighborhood you ever heard of. It's a place that you've literally never been in.

[Adam Pally]

Your Hometown flyer just has, like, a bunch of inflatable pools on it.

[Eric Andre]

Thank you. All right, thanks, you guys. Love you.

[John Gabris]

Love you.

[Eric Andre]

Bye.

[John Gabris]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

That dude is. We didn't. And we. There's so much more to cover. We didn't. He's, like, a genius musician, you know.

[John Gabris]

Berkeley School of Music.

[Adam Pally]

Berkeley School of Music. OG Comedy. New York comedy guy. But the thing, again, that I love about my relationship with Eric and now having here is, like, it's mostly normal.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

We never, like, when we have dinner together. Like, it's mostly that.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You know, and it. And I like that about him because it makes me feel that when you see him do his work, it's even more impressive.

[John Gabris]

Right. It's not. He's not just a psycho who the camera's rolling on.

[Adam Pally]

No.

[John Gabris]

He's, like, an actual creative genius, and he can, like.

[Adam Pally]

And all those bits had a. Had a. A thing to them.

[Eric Andre]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You know, and, like, that is amazing.

[John Gabris]

Oh, yeah. He, like, I get some friends that show up on my Instagram reels algorithm. He's one friend who. I just don't skip their shit because that's always. I'm like, oh, fuck, I've never seen this bit.

[Adam Pally]

Like, and that movie Bad Trip is one of the best comedy for the last 20 years.

[John Gabris]

If that was. If that. And thank God it did, because it was, like, a true treat to watch at home. Get stone and put that on. But if that was. If that came. If they put that out in theaters now, people would.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, I can like, the list of bits from that movie alone that are like, the Tiffany Haddish bit. The him little rel with their dicks in the Chinese trap. Like, there's just so many.

[John Gabris]

Vacuum sucking all his clothes off.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, my God.

[John Gabris]

The. And he mentioned it in the interview, but the gorilla him, like, was so strong.

[Adam Pally]

It's just like, all those bits are so funny and well done, and it's not.

[John Gabris]

And I think a part of it that I appreciate even more, too, is that that's not. I can't do the prank comedy.

[Eric Andre]

Like.

[John Gabris]

Like, that's not my wheelhouse.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

So, like, sometimes, like, when it's something I think I'm good at, like, analyze it for, to me, he's doing, like, he's painting in a medium I don't even understand too.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, true.

[John Gabris]

So it adds, like, a whole nother layer of appreciation.

[Adam Pally]

Amazing. And. And then it's also like the other.

[Eric Andre]

The.

[Adam Pally]

The other side of him is that he's so intellectually open and advanced that like talking to him about narcotics and psychedelics.

[John Gabris]

Well, he has like our grown up view of drugs, which I really appreciate. It was like talking about drugs is like, no, I get a lot out of it and I do it safely and I'm like, I'm healthy and we definitely need to get this scientist.

[Adam Pally]

I gotta get this number. I'm get that number right now. And it seems like it's local.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I know. I might have to move back.

[Adam Pally]

What was that?

[John Gabris]

Oh, I don't know. Oh, my phone fell.

[Adam Pally]

No, it's hand San and hand sanitizer fell out of your pocket.

[John Gabris]

Oh, okay. Rooney, shut the up.

[Adam Pally]

You couldn't get that joint last night.

[John Gabris]

I've been sipping on hand Sany all morning.

[Adam Pally]

Hey, stay. Love you. I saw my opening. I got it.

[John Gabris]

You have been List to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pali A smartless media production in association with Sirius.

[Adam Pally]

XM Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[John Gabris]

Associate producer and video producer is Matty McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.

[Adam Pally]

Assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at SiriusXM.

[John Gabris]

Executive producers are John Gabris.

[Eric Andre]

Ooh, me.

[John Gabris]

Adam Pally.

[Eric Andre]

Ooh, you.

[John Gabris]

Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[Adam Pally]

Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.

[John Gabris]

Don't reach out to us.

[Adam Pally]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands.

[Eric Andre]

Do you know about the Hasidic flu? What is. The hot seats are complex. I don't. I kind of. I'm not the one to break. I'm not the Jew to break it down. Break them down for you.

[Adam Pally]

But bad news in either they have.

[Eric Andre]

You know, certain do's and don'ts. Many, many do's and don'ts. One of them can't rock the iPhone, so they have this. This middle ground where it's not all the way old school. Flip phone. It's a flip phone with apps preset and you can't download apps, so it has a maps function. You can put music in it and talk in text. So it's pretty sweet.

[Adam Pally]

My.

[Eric Andre]

My buddy, I don't director, he got. Because he's like, I'm so sick of being distracted by my iPhone. And then he went back to the iPhone. Yeah, but the Hasidic flip phone, I'm gonna look it up and then send.

[Adam Pally]

It over to you because yeah, I'll buy you one.

[Eric Andre]

They're like 10 bucks.

[Adam Pally]

I've seen the light.

[John Gabris]

They come free with a minivan.

[Eric Andre]

They come free with that big.

[Adam Pally]

I gotta use it through a sheet. I gotta put a sheet up to.

[John Gabris]

My ear to use it you on Saturdays. You have to get somebody else to dial it.

[Adam Pally]

But apparently it's great in tunnels.

[Eric Andre]

It works underground. Oh, I forgot about that.

[John Gabris]

That was fucking secret tunnels. Smart plus.

[Eric Andre]

Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of angie. One thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home.

[Sponsor Voice 3]

And for decades, Angie's helped millions of.

[Eric Andre]

Homeowners hire skilled pros for the property projects that matter. Get all your jobs done [e-mail].