Podcast Summary: "Life after s-work with Amanda Goff (aka Samantha X)"

Storytime with Kayla Jade dives deep into the intricate world of sex work, mental health, and personal transformation in the episode titled "Life after s-work with Amanda Goff (aka Samantha X)." Hosted by Kayla Jade (MIK Made), this episode features Amanda Goff, Australia's renowned former escort known professionally as Samantha X. Together, they explore the evolving landscape of sex work, personal struggles, and the journey towards self-discovery and mental well-being.

1. Evolution of the Sex-Work Industry

Amanda Goff begins by discussing the significant changes in the sex work industry over the past decade.

Amanda (00:22): "It's saturated now."

The conversation highlights how the industry has shifted from traditional in-person engagements to a predominantly online presence. Amanda notes that many sex workers, including strippers, face challenges as clients increasingly prefer to stay at home.

Kayla Jade (00:34): "Now it's like a lot of it is, like, online and people, you know, staying at home more."

They discuss the impact of this shift, emphasizing that while there's still a market for in-person services, the consistency of income has become unpredictable due to market saturation.

2. Financial Realities of Sex Work

The duo delves into the financial aspects of sex work, highlighting the inconsistency of earnings and the common pitfalls of spending without saving.

Amanda (01:07): "I never saved a cent. Really? Well, because I thought it was the gift that kept giving, you know?"

Amanda shares her personal experience of rapidly spending her earnings on trips and luxuries, believing her income would be endless. This pattern led to financial instability, compelling her to eventually reevaluate her spending habits.

Kayla Jade (01:42): "Pay for your own flights, you pay for your hotels, you pay for travel. So, yeah, I definitely wasted a lot of money."

Amanda recounts advice from a former boss to treat sex work as a business and prioritize saving, though she admits she did not heed this advice initially.

3. Navigating Personal and Professional Identity

Amanda discusses the challenges of maintaining a professional persona and the impact it had on her personal identity. She shares her experiences with cosmetic surgeries to align her appearance with industry standards.

Amanda (02:20): "I have one in Turkey and that was like a botch job. Nearly died on the operating table. But the second one was like a corrective, like in Australia and like, it was amazing."

The conversation touches upon the pressures to conform to specific beauty standards and the lengths to which sex workers may go to remain competitive.

4. Stigma and Motherhood in the Sex-Work Industry

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the societal stigma associated with being a sex worker and a mother. Amanda challenges the misconception that motherhood and sex work are incompatible.

Amanda (04:13): "I think people think when you become a mother, you don't become sexual anymore."

She highlights that many sex workers are single mothers, battling societal judgment while striving to provide for their families.

Amanda (04:45): "Society doesn't see it that way."

Amanda shares her internal struggle before going public about her work, fearing it would negatively impact her role as a mother. Her psychologist's reassurance that one's profession doesn't define their parenting capabilities was pivotal in her acceptance.

5. Mental Health Challenges and Support

Amanda opens up about her mental health journey, revealing her diagnoses of bipolar 2 disorder and ADHD. She emphasizes the importance of mental health care and how stepping away from the industry aided her recovery.

Amanda (10:03): "I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 probably a few years ago... I became super healthy and I became mentally healthy."

Kayla Jade shares her own ADHD diagnosis, drawing parallels between their experiences and the mental toll that sex work can exert.

Amanda (12:02): "Stepping away from the industry, like, that was just so much better for your mental health."

They discuss how the constant demands of the industry can lead to dissociation and challenges in forming genuine relationships outside of work.

6. Complex Relationships within Sex Work

A particularly poignant segment features Amanda recounting a tumultuous relationship with a client, highlighting the blurred boundaries and potential for manipulation inherent in the industry.

Amanda (17:42): "We went on holiday together to Italy. It was very romantic. I thought I was gonna marry him."

The relationship escalated into stalking behavior, forcing Amanda to obtain a restraining order. This story underscores the emotional vulnerabilities sex workers may face when personal and professional lines intersect.

Amanda (18:44): "He would turn up at my cafe in Sydney. It was just a nightmare."

7. Advice for Aspiring Sex Workers

Amanda offers candid advice to women considering entering the sex work industry, cautioning them about the challenges and the difficulty of leaving once involved.

Amanda (14:57): "It's a job that's not for everyone. You need to have a bit of grit about you."

She emphasizes the importance of building a career first and viewing sex work as a last resort, advocating for financial stability and personal well-being above all.

Amanda (23:22): "Get a job first, get a career. If you want to have kids, go and have kids."

8. Gender Dynamics in Escorting

The discussion shifts to the unique challenges faced by male escorts, noting the scarcity and societal perceptions that hinder their success compared to their female counterparts.

Amanda (15:58): "That's why there's only, like, very few male escorts and very few male porn stars."

Amanda explains that societal expectations and misconceptions make it difficult for men to succeed in escorting, as many underestimate the complexities involved.

9. Transitioning Out of Sex Work

Amanda shares her journey of leaving the sex work industry, focusing on rediscovering her true self and building a life beyond the persona of Samantha X.

Amanda (21:05): "I lost my identity. I didn't know who I was. And when the psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar, he said, finally, once you get you medicated, you will finally know who Amanda is."

She discusses the importance of therapy, support networks, and the continuous process of self-discovery in establishing a balanced and fulfilling life post-sex work.

Amanda (22:10): "You need to have a good support network around you... Always have an exit plan."

Amanda emphasizes that leaving the industry requires careful planning and support to navigate the psychological and emotional transitions involved.

10. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Amanda promoting her books and resources for those interested in her story.

Amanda (27:13): "My book Misfit and my third book, The Unraveling of Samantha X Misfit, is out in all good bookstores."

Kayla Jade expresses gratitude for Amanda's openness and the invaluable insights shared, encouraging listeners to seek Amanda’s work for further understanding.

Kayla Jade (27:37): "Keep doing, honey. You too. I'm so excited to see what happens in the future for both of us. So yay. Bye, guys."

Key Takeaways

• Industry Saturation and Shifts: The sex work industry has become more saturated and has shifted significantly towards online platforms, affecting the consistency of income and the nature of client interactions.

• Financial Management: Many sex workers struggle with financial instability due to inconsistent earnings and lack of savings, often spending liberally in the early stages of their careers.

• Personal Identity and Health: Maintaining a professional persona can blur personal identity, leading to significant mental health challenges. Diagnoses of bipolar disorder and ADHD emphasize the need for mental health support.

• Stigma and Motherhood: Balancing motherhood and sex work is fraught with societal stigma, despite the fact that many sex workers are single mothers who successfully support their families.

• Complex Client Relationships: Relationships with clients can become complicated and sometimes dangerous, underscoring the importance of setting and maintaining clear boundaries.

• Gender Dynamics: Male escorts face unique challenges and societal misconceptions that hinder their success and visibility in the industry.

• Transition and Self-Discovery: Leaving sex work involves a profound journey of self-discovery, mental health care, and rebuilding one’s identity beyond the professional persona.

Resources

• Amanda Goff’s Instagram: Amanda Goff Official
• Amanda Goff’s Substack: Amanda Goff Newsletter
• Books:
  • Misfit
  • The Unraveling of Samantha X Misfit

This episode provides a raw and honest exploration of the multifaceted life of a sex worker, shedding light on the personal and professional challenges faced, and offering invaluable advice for those considering the industry or seeking to understand it better.