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A
Hey, guys. Welcome back to story time with Kayla Jade. I am here with Amanda Gough, Australia's most famous ex escort, also known as Samantha X. Welcome to the podcast my client book the most.
B
Get ready.
A
Oh, my God, you guys do a pack. My. How do you find the industry has changed?
C
Like, I mean, so much.
A
Yeah, I was gonna say from when you first started to, like, now it.
C
Must be saturated now. Yeah, it's saturated now.
A
Well, I hear, like, even from my friends who have been in the industry, like, like 10 years, they say, like, it's just. Even in the last 10 years, it's changed so.
C
Changed so much.
A
And now it's like, a lot of it is, like, online and people, you know, staying at home more like, you know, like, I know strippers are struggling a little bit with, like, clients coming in. Really?
D
Yeah.
A
Because a lot of people choose to stay at home now.
D
Yeah.
C
Why? Yeah, why would they go out and risk being seen? And I still think there's a market for that. And I hate saying high class, but.
A
Oh, there definitely is. Like, there's a lot of people that make a lot of money.
C
Is it consistent, though? Like. Like, I sort of felt it was never consistent.
D
Yeah, it was.
C
You make a lot of money and then it can be dead for a bit. And then you can make a lot of money, then it'd be dead.
A
Oh, absolutely.
C
And I never saved my money. I never saved a cent. Really? Well, because I thought it was the gift that kept giving, you know?
D
Yeah, yeah.
C
And I never. I don't. I didn't buy clothes or how. Well, I did buy clothes, but I didn't buy handbags. I didn't buy that kind of stuff. I just had a nice life, supported my family. Exact when I had to support, you know, so.
A
Oh, yeah, definitely. Like, for the first good year, like, of being in the industry, like, I just wasted so much money, like, on trips and, you know, you just think, like, oh, it's gonna last forever.
C
Exactly. Pay for your own flights, you pay for your hotels, you pay for travel.
A
You're your own boss, so you have to pay for everything. So, yeah, I definitely wasted a lot of money. It took me a good while to be like, hang on, like, I need to get my shit sorted. You know, I don't want to constantly. I didn't want to be in the sex industry forever, so I was like, I need to try and save as much as I can before I feel like my time is done.
C
Yeah. And I remember once a. A boss of an establishment said to me once, see this job as a business and save your money. Pay yourself a wage and save your money. Of course, I never listened to.
D
You.
C
Know, I had one boob job, two boojo, three, five, six.
A
You have to figure it out yourself. It's like me, I had two bbls and like, you know, I had to figure it out. But you get there.
C
Did you have those done in Australia?
A
So I have one in Turkey and that was like a botch job. Nearly died on the operating table. But the second one was like a, like corrective, like in Australia and like, it was amazing. Yeah, I had like such a good experience with that. So. Because you had just recently got a reduction. Hey.
C
Yeah, my boobs were massive.
A
So how big were your boobs?
C
Wow.
A
I mean we can do like.
C
Hey, they were. That was an accident by the way. They were 1050 cc. So 50, so that is massive. I'm just gonna do.
A
That's like double.
C
So what are your people?
D
My.
A
I'm just like a D cup. I don't.
C
Mine were F or yours were F, A, B, C, D, E, F. Yeah. So I was 1050. They're 7, 6, 5 now. So that's a third. They're a third small. I'm not very good at maths, but I think they're a third smaller now because my lifestyle changed. I was doing Pilates.
D
Yeah.
C
I just felt really self conscious and women were judgy, you know, it's always the women that were judgy.
D
Yeah.
A
It's a really sad thing. Like that's what I sort of found out when, you know, people were outing me for having kids and stuff. A lot of the time it was like women talking about it and it made me like really sad because it's like, you know, I love like women supporting women and I talk about it a lot on my page. So like, to see that, I was just like, oh, it's really painful. But you know, like, obviously there's a lot of supportive women, like in my comments as well.
C
I think people think when you become a mother, you don't become sexual anymore.
D
Yeah.
C
Part of you should. Should die.
A
Should die.
C
And the ironic thing is most sex workers are single mothers.
A
They are single.
C
A lot of single mothers out there.
D
Yeah.
C
And I had a real problem before I went public because I thought, you know, I've got young kids, it's going to be really challenging. And my psychologist said, Amanda, you know, what you do for work doesn't define you as a parent. You know, so doctors can beat up their kids, you know, lawyers.
D
Exactly.
C
They can still be bad, can be good mums. Yeah, but society doesn't see it that way.
A
No, it's a sad thing.
C
I think people like you, though, do change the narrative a bit. I try to. 12 years ago, still very controversial.
A
But it's all about timing.
C
It's all about timing. Then I look at women like you and I think, oh, God, that's. You're awesome. And if I'd gone public now, it would have been completely different story.
A
Yeah, I mean, but you're still out there, you know, educating and like, just you're so iconic in the industry. Like, everyone loves you.
B
So, you guys, I got something really exciting to show you. So I just got sent this fast day of Honey B, which is my favorite brand. So let's do a try on haul. I remember when I was younger and I had no money and all I wanted to do was buy honey bedette. So it actually doesn't feel real that I'm doing a collab with them. My God, I cannot wait to try this on. This is Eleanor. I just love how this fits so perfectly. Sometimes when you get the corsets, they have the little like bumps that go out, but this one just singes in. And then we're gonna try it on with the love lace full length row. Loving the full black. Like a little bit of goth. Could you imagine me dressing up like this to a booking? Not have a field day? A little bit of the bar. Let's try the red. Did one of those, like color theory tests and apparently one of my colors is like a warm red. I never wear red though, so I feel like I'm gonna start. I usually go like light blues. Like, I love a baby blue. I feel like blue just makes blue eyes pop even more. I go wrong with red. I feel like it just looks good on everyone. The way this pretty red set is the red Rosaline. I just had to show you guys these before I put them on, but these tights have like little bits of glitter in them. Like to try put the suspenders on the stockings before I put them on. Otherwise these nails are just going to rip holes through them. I have like such a heavy hand, so I'm known to break things easily. This is delicate, and I'm not delicate. Oh, we got them on. I first started buying Honeybee. I was like, how the hell do you get these things on? And now I'm just like an absolute pro. This is famous. I feel like this one's my favorite and I matched her with. What is your name, darling? Love Lace in ivory. I remember the first ever honeybirdette set I got. I was so proud of it. It was like this beautiful blue set that had like a corset at the front and like little bows on the side. And then the underwear had like a little bow at the back. I'll try and link it. I remember just like cherishing it at the time time. Because I didn't often get like nice things. I love honey bed. Like the quality is just unmatched. It always feels so luxurious in these sets. I think this is my favorite. What do you think?
A
I just love how pretty it is.
B
This is Haley. The heavy duty for a reason. I wonder if these are just for sure if I could actually peg someone with it. Only one way to find out. You can find all these sets@honeybirdet.com.
A
Bye guys.
C
I always said to the girls, because I used to have an escort agency and I always said, don't say you're younger, say you're older. If you're gonna lie about your age, say you're older than you are.
A
I think I was. I was reading. It was. I think it was something from you saying that like older s workers get so much money. Like get more money if so than the younger one. So it's like, you know. Yeah, say that you're older because the guys love it.
C
Well, you know, I always say guys, you know, there's a market for. For everything and anything. You would know that.
D
Yeah.
C
But I think women over 35 think I'm too old to do this job. You know, I'm over the hill, 40, 45, invisible to men, to society. It's absolute rubbish. And I really understood that when I became an S worker. So. And then when I had. When I became a madam of my agency, then, then I realized that men just wanted older women. I think men that I attracted wanted older women. And so for me personally, when I started working, I was 38. I left at 48. And I got more expensive as I got older. And I thought I'm just going to test the market and say fifteen hundred dollars an hour. And this was quite a few years ago. And I thought I was busier then in my late 40s than I was in my late 30s.
A
That's amazing because like a lot of the comments I get on like tick tock and stuff are being like, like, what are you gonna do when you're older? Like no one's gonna want you when you're older.
C
People say that to you?
A
Yeah, they do. They say it in the comments. All the time. And I'm like, hey, as long as people are still paying, like I'm gonna do it.
C
And they will. And you'll get. The demographic might change.
D
Yeah.
C
And I, and I found I employed a woman who was 65.
A
65.
C
And she was, we called her Granny. Granny. Angel.
A
Granny May.
C
Because my agency was Samantha X Angel. So we called her Granny Angel. And I couldn't believe how busy she was. And she used to get all the young hot clients and, and she, I think, I think she was 800 an hour. She wasn't 800.
A
Cuz they just love the maturity. The maturity. I feel like it just depends on the guy. Like there's obviously going to be those guys that want the like your younger girl to like almost control and like feel like they can control in the way or either they want to like relinquish that power. So like. Yeah, it's very interesting.
C
And they want to be seen with a woman who if they go for dinner or they want to be seen with a woman that does like matching like their, you know, young daughter.
D
Yeah.
C
Which is quite a shock because I thought they just want to shag young hot things. And look, they do. There's, there's definitely a market for that. And you're a young hot thing to. In my eyes. But yeah, sometimes I think, oh, if I went back to work now, you know, I could work until I was 75.
D
Yeah. Wow.
A
But so when did you actually quit?
C
About two years ago.
A
Two years ago. And what made you quit?
C
Well, in my third book. Misfit.
D
Yes.
A
Congratulations. Third book.
C
Thank you. Thank you.
A
My gosh. I feel like your book Hooked was just like everyone in the industry talks about it like that is just like you were just like an icon. Like they just like Samantha X. Oh my God.
C
Well, I sort of think, I really hope women didn't read my book and think I'm going to become a sex worker. And I was, that was something I was worried about glamorizing the industry because you know as well as I do it's not all five star hotels and not at all. Yeah. So I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 probably a few years ago. And it kind of made sense to me. And I stopped drinking, I stopped everything and I became super healthy and I became mentally healthy. And not to say I wasn't unhealthy, but I didn't need to create this Persona anymore. I just wanted to be myself and I'd never really been myself. I was sick of being called Samantha. That wasn't my Name I was sick of. A sex worker told me once, you know, when it's time to leave, and I thought, I'm just tired. I was tired shaving my legs every five minutes, you know.
D
Yeah.
C
Or having to be sexy. I was tired of it all.
A
So two years ago, did you say.
C
About two years ago? Yeah.
A
Yeah. I recently got diagnosed adhd. And, like, just growing up throughout my life, I was just, like, you know, constantly had these symptoms but had no idea that it was a problem. I just thought it was me.
C
Yeah.
A
And then, you know, being diagnosed, it was just like this weight lifted off me being like, oh, my God. Like, it's actually something like, I'm not just, like, lazy or like, what did you.
C
What were your symptoms for adhd?
A
So I struggled a lot in school. I struggled a lot with, like, focus and, you know, even things like just keeping my space tidy. And in my head, I, like, struggle to, like, even, you know, finish sentences. Sometimes I'll be, like, constantly thinking about, like, a thousand things and, like, nothing is sort of making sense. So, like, when I become medicated, it was just sort of like putting those pieces of a puzzle together.
C
Yeah, I felt that. Yeah. When I was diagnosed, I thought it makes sense, you know.
A
Did you find even stepping away from the industry, like, that was just so much better for your mental health? Because I know when I, like, see a lot of clients, I feel like my mental health declines and it's like it slowly declines because, you know, you put yourself out there so much for people.
D
Yeah.
A
So for me especially, it's very draining, 100% draining.
C
And you just. Well, I disassociated. And when you disassociate, it's really hard then to connect again. So I found relationships. I still do find relationships really hard because I spent so many years as Samantha disconnecting. How can I then be Amanda and intimate with someone? I. I said. I said in one book that it's like being James Bond. Like, you have. You have to make up your mind very quickly whether they're going to kill you or not. Number one. Yes. And then you. This is all in, like, 10, 15 seconds. And then you have to work out what kind of client he is. He's going to be, whether he's going to be hard work, whether he wants this, that the other. He's going to be a talker. They always are. You know, what his story is going to be. And then. So when you meet someone in the real world, how can you not go into that mode? Yeah, how can I not Go into that mode.
D
Yeah.
A
It's a very hard thing.
C
And it intimidates men.
A
It does. Especially when, you know, you know, you have a lot more money and, you know, you're very successful. Like, it's intimidating.
D
Yeah.
A
That's what I, like, I loved about escorting is, like, you can sort of be more private about it. You know, it's like with the online industry, you sort of have to, like, make a name for yourself and, like, push yourself out there as much as possible.
D
Yeah.
A
I guess with escorting, it's a little bit more like, you don't have to, like, advertise yourself on social media as much.
C
No. And if I. I've already decided if I ever go back, I'm going to keep it very, very private and very exclusive.
D
Yeah.
A
I feel like you would have, like, a bit of a cult following now where you can, like, you know, just sort of like, see if you. If you were to go.
C
Of course I'm not.
A
There's an.
D
If.
A
You would have. You could have that sort of, like, exclusivity.
D
Yeah.
C
And I think it's a hard industry to leave. And that's why I say to young girls, think very carefully about this, because once you're in it.
A
Oh, yeah.
C
Extremely hard to leave, because where else can you make the money that you're making and the freedom and the flexibility? And then you go and take an office job and you're getting $40 an hour, $30 an hour.
A
I'm not yet at the point where I'm like. Because I know a lot of girls say, like, they know when it's time to leave.
C
Yeah.
A
They'll say, like, I just can't do it anymore. I'm not yet at that point.
C
Like, how long have you been doing it for?
A
Only a year. Like a good, like, year and a half with, like, escorting itself. Like, I had a dabbled a bit, like, early days, but, like, full.
C
Yeah.
A
Escorting. But before that, I did, like, online work for about three years.
C
Yeah. I interviewed Nova Hawthorne.
D
Yes. Yes.
A
She's awesome.
C
And she. She told me something quite interesting, that most women make less than the average wage.
D
Yeah.
C
Only fans. Which I think is really important for young women to know.
A
Absolutely.
C
I think a lot of women come and they want to be like, Bonnie Blue or you. Yes, you.
D
Yeah.
C
And it takes a lot of hard work and you've got to have something different about you.
A
That's why it's so important. Like, I always talk on my page about, like, why I wouldn't recommend being a sex worker and, like, 100% agree. You know, I've, like. Because a lot of people would, like, compare themselves to me or like other sex workers compare themselves to me, but it's like I've, you know, I've done the online work. I've done like the America porn, Star Trek. Like, I've done all that sort of stuff. So you can't really compare in that way, you know?
D
Yeah.
C
And some girls, I remember when I was working, I'd mentor women and they think they can come on the scene as an unknown and charge fifteen hundred dollars an hour. And it's like, that's not, you know, that doesn't happen or they don't. They. They want to do that without showing their faces.
A
And yeah, it's the same with only fans. You know, people like, go on thinking that they can just selfie pics and it's just like, it's not as easy as that. Like.
C
No. And also I sort of find that with men especially, they think. Every man thinks they can be a male escort.
D
Yes.
C
Do your clients sometimes think they can be male escorts?
A
The amount of messages that I get being, like, asking for advice or, like, from men, and I'm like, do you respond to them? No.
C
Yeah.
A
I'm like, it's not cut out. I'm sorry. It's not cut out for everyone. It's like the same with the porn industry. A lot of men just think they can whip their dick out in front of a camera or like, it is so complicated. So, yeah, like, it's. That's why there's only, like, very few male escorts and very few male porn stars.
C
Very few. Good male.
D
Yeah.
A
Just because it's not cut out for everyone.
C
Exactly. You know, every man thinks he can do it, though. And I say it's not shagging, it's not getting paid to shag, mate.
A
It's like, like probably half of my clientele is like, yeah, like, I could do it. I could do it.
C
So funny. I'm like, babe, and you're. I've got to mention Peggy Sue.
D
Yeah.
C
So when I went public, got one of my clients who I actually fell in love with, and we had a. Yes. Ultimate. No. No.
A
Okay, I need. I need to hear more about that.
C
So I got him on Channel seven. So when I went. I went on Channel seven show, it was called Sunday Night.
A
Okay.
C
It was like the 60 Minutes channel 7. So that's where I launched my career. Career. And I got him to go on, like, you can manipulate some lights to do whatever you want.
A
Absolutely.
C
So he went on Channel 7.
A
Like face out. No, I was gonna say changed his voice.
C
Did exactly what you did.
A
What we did.
C
And was interviewed about being, you know, a client's client.
D
Yeah.
C
And then we were in a relationship, and then I had to get restraining order against.
D
Wow.
C
My second book was about him. I called him Mr. Big. You've got Piggy's Peggy Sue. I have Mr. Big.
A
Oh, my gosh.
C
So when I saw the Piggy sue thing, I thought, oh, that's so exactly what I did with bleep, bleep.
D
Wow.
A
So things got a bit heated between you guys, because I always say that, like, you know, if a client drops, like, the album, it's like, you got to get rid of them because, like, as soon as they start getting. Do they do that addicted, like, then it's just like, no, you've got to drop it.
C
Well, it's. It's. Yes, you do. But then you think I'm talking myself out of regular.
A
That's true. But then it just.
C
Money.
A
It starts getting dangerous, though.
C
Yeah.
A
You know, the stalker behavior. Like, you know, stalker behavior.
C
We went on holiday together to Italy. It was very romantic. I thought I was gonna marry him.
A
Oh, my gosh.
C
And then it just.
A
Okay, so how did it end? Because, like, I was sort of seeing a client for a bit. We're still like, a little bit on and off. So, like, tell me how it ends. Like, give me some.
C
Okay. So he started. He was seeing other women.
D
Yeah. Yeah.
C
Because obviously, if they checks out, you know, if they see escorts, if they see you, they'll see others.
D
Oh, yeah.
C
And I think the men get addicted to it.
A
They do. Yeah.
C
Just as women get addicted to the job, we. They get addicted to it, too. And I could never trust him. He was always lying about stuff. And I was not in a great space. And so I tried to end it many, many times. But he was the type to call me. 50 times I reported him to the police. He wouldn't leave me alone. He would turn. He lived in Melbourne. I was in Sydney. He would turn up at my cafe in Sydney. It was just a nightmare. Anyway, I got a restraining order in the end. Yeah, that was a few. Quite a few years ago.
A
Far out.
C
But, yeah. So don't worry. I'm sure it's not. I'm sure you don't forget restraint. Yeah, but mine was fun, but a bit psycho. So. So. So are you seeing. You seeing your client? Well, at what stage has become a boyfriend and what stages it.
A
It's like, we haven't Talked for ages. He's just con. Like, he just. Yeah. Messaged me again, like. Because I sort of. Like, I got a bit on a crush on him and then, like, we hadn't talked for a while, and so I got over it. But now he's been, like, messaging me again. I'm like, what?
C
To see him as a client?
D
Yeah. Yeah.
A
So we went out for a date, like, I want to say a month ago. That was paid, so. Because I was seeing him for a bit unpaid. Silly, silly girl.
C
Hence the boundary blur. You know, I did the same thing and I think most girls make that mistake once.
D
Yeah.
C
Don't they?
A
I feel like you learn.
C
You learn.
A
But, yeah, he's been recently messaging me and I'm like, oh, I feel like if I open that barrier up again, I'll start to get those feelings. Or I've, like, I work so hard to, like, disassociate. Cut it out of it. But, yeah, we'll see. We'll see.
C
I don't know. I think once you develop feelings, it's hard to see them as quiet.
D
Yeah.
C
I used to feel guilty taking money off them.
A
Really?
C
Well, the one. The one I had the feelings for.
D
Yeah. Yeah.
A
Oh, yeah. That's understandable. So how did you find, like, what helped you ground you and, like, you.
C
Know, stepping away from the industry.
D
Yeah.
C
For me, stepping away from the toxicity of Sometimes it was very toxic at the time, especially on Twitter, girls were really going for each other. Stepping away from clients and disassociated. Stepping away from being disassociative. So having therapy and just trying to have a normal life.
D
Yeah.
C
You know, letting the hair extensions go. Well, I didn't do that for very long. Bring them back.
D
Yeah.
C
Trying to have a normal life. But it's incredibly hard to do that when you're used to something else.
A
And when you've built so much for the name for yourself, it's hard to sort of.
C
Yeah.
A
You know, go back to a normal life.
C
I lost my identity. I didn't know who I was. And when the psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar, he said, finally, once you get you medicated, you will finally know who Amanda is.
D
Wow.
C
And I thought, wow, I don't really know who Amanda is. Like, I've been Samantha for so long.
D
Yeah.
A
You know, living this double life.
C
Living this double life, which I loved. But it's not sustainable forever. And everything changes and you evolve. I evolved as a person.
D
Yeah.
C
And the person I was in my 30s is not the person I am today.
A
Wow. I'm Just like soaking this all in. Yeah. Oh my God. Like, listen to her advice.
C
Most of it.
D
Yeah.
C
Because we, you know, I feel like.
A
You need like such a good support network around you when, like, because when hits the fan for me, like, I'm just, just so glad that I have those, you know, family and friends that support me no matter what.
C
You're very lucky.
A
Like, if I didn't have that, I would just.
C
Yeah, you know, it'd be hard. Always have an exit plan. I always tell girls. Yeah, you know, it's not going to last. The job lasts forever if you want it to, but your, your state of mind won't last forever.
A
Exactly.
C
Your mental health, your mental health won't last forever. And it's not sex work that causes the damage. It's, you know, you lawyers can kill themselves, police officers kill themselves. You've got to look after your mental health in any job. But it is not a job for the faint hearted. It's not. You know, so many women asked me even today, can I just have lunch with clients, can I just be a dinner companion?
A
It doesn't work.
C
It doesn't work like that, you know, like, of course that would be the ideal job.
A
It's a job that's not for everyone. You need to have a bit of grit about you. You need a. Be able to stand your ground and, you know, just have that. Because guys can easily try and manipulate that and they, they sense that sort of fear in a way, you know, So I feel like you need to sort of have that like being able to stand out for yourself, things like that, to look after yourself.
C
It's on the job, learning. Like I, when I was mentoring women, I couldn't teach them that, you know, you can't teach gut instinct. You can't teach the James Bond thing.
A
It just comes with, I guess, practice and learning. And I was so glad that I had that experience in the sex industry before I became an escort because like, if I went straight to escorting, I would, I would have no idea what to do. I needed that experience before I got into that. Like I always say to girls, like, make this be your last resort. Like try everything, Try the career, the job, anything.
C
You really say that? Yeah, I say get a job first, Get a career. If you want to have kids, go and have kids.
D
Yeah.
C
If you want to get married, go and have. Because once you're in this job, you will never get out of it. And also, I didn't used to mentor women under 25. I just really didn't. I, I would say them. I. I just think you're too young.
D
Yeah.
A
You know, I felt like I lived like a whole life before and as well. Because you started 38. Hey. So I would.
C
I mean, I mean, even then I was young, you know, Like, I felt like I was quite naive.
D
Yeah.
A
That's such a. Like, I. I think that would be an inspiration to so many women because a lot of the time people think like, you know, I'm too old or, you know, I'm this. I'm this on this. So, like. Yeah, that's amazing.
C
I know. I never lied about my age ever, because I thought I saw other girls lie. So I thought I didn't have a mentor or anything. Like, I didn't know anyone in the industry. I just looked at what everyone else was doing and I thought, I'm going to do something completely opposite.
A
That's amazing.
C
Brand myself as a businesswoman.
D
Yeah.
C
And, you know, if they're all wearing lingerie, I'm going to wear suits, you know, And I just thought, I'm going to be different. And I'm not going to lie about mine because I knew girls were lying about the rest. If anything, I say, say you're 10 years older, you know.
D
Yeah.
C
It's a point of difference because I was looking actually at Scarlet Blue the other day.
D
Yeah.
C
Just having a nose, little gaze. And I noticed there aren't that many older women on there.
A
No, there's not.
C
So the 50 plus bracket, I reckon, is untapped.
D
Yeah, I love that.
A
I love that.
C
And I've tapped.
D
Yeah.
A
I'm sort of at the, like, stage where I'm like, I don't know where this is gonna go. I don't know how long I'm gonna do escorting. You know, sometimes I'll like, have a meltdown and be like, what am I doing? And then other times I'm like, I love this. So it's like, that's the job. I'm sort of in that limbo where I'm just like, I don't really know at the moment, but. But you don't have to just run with it sometimes.
D
But.
C
But can I just say, from your grandmother. Your grandmother. That's the job. That's the nature of the beast. Even when I was in my 40s, I was like, what am I doing? This is. I should get a normal job. This is so bad. You know, I can't do this forever. And then I go, I love this. This is amazing. And then it just continued. It continued. It will never stop. That, that, that Feeling will never stop the older you get. You think I should settle down. I don't want to be, you know, I don't be the washed up hooker.
D
Yeah.
A
You know, but I remember thinking that like in my early 20s, I was doing like, not even in the sex work industry, but thinking like, oh, you know, just like stressing so much about my future and it's like just try and like live in the moment a little bit more, you know?
D
Yeah.
A
Take the risk advice, Take the opportunities.
C
Yeah.
A
If I didn't do that, I wouldn't be in the position I am today and you wouldn't be in the position you are. So.
C
And I look back on my career and I don't regret a single thing.
D
I love that.
C
I'm sorry that it's affected those I love very much and I've made my amends for that. And not everyone is as open minded as we are. I understand that. But I would do it all again. Honestly, these days, my pajamas from Big W, a cup of tea, a hot water bottle, my dog, peace and quiet, no man sticking his dick in my back, you know, like, I just want to go to sleep and wake up.
A
Me too. I don't really have sex unless I'm getting paid for it.
C
And nor should you go.
A
Hopefully. I mean, maybe that'll change. But right now it's just like, it's just too hard, you know? Absolutely. Oh, it was lovely having you on the podcast. Thank you for coming on.
C
Thank you for.
A
And I guess where can everyone find you?
C
Instagram Amanda Goff official my sub stack which is Amanda Goff 2. I think it's 2Amanda underscore. You'll find it. My book Misfit.
A
Feel like people even just Google you.
C
You just Google me?
D
Yeah, it would come up.
A
You got some stories.
C
Just Google me. And my third book, the Unraveling of Samantha X Misfit is out in all good bookstores.
A
Us.
D
Yay.
C
It's been a pleasure. I've been really excited to meet you because I think you're amazing.
A
Keep doing, honey. You too. You too. I'm so excited to see what happens in the future for both of us. So yay. Bye, guys.
Podcast Summary: "Life after s-work with Amanda Goff (aka Samantha X)"
Storytime with Kayla Jade dives deep into the intricate world of sex work, mental health, and personal transformation in the episode titled "Life after s-work with Amanda Goff (aka Samantha X)." Hosted by Kayla Jade (MIK Made), this episode features Amanda Goff, Australia's renowned former escort known professionally as Samantha X. Together, they explore the evolving landscape of sex work, personal struggles, and the journey towards self-discovery and mental well-being.
Amanda Goff begins by discussing the significant changes in the sex work industry over the past decade.
Amanda (00:22): "It's saturated now."
The conversation highlights how the industry has shifted from traditional in-person engagements to a predominantly online presence. Amanda notes that many sex workers, including strippers, face challenges as clients increasingly prefer to stay at home.
Kayla Jade (00:34): "Now it's like a lot of it is, like, online and people, you know, staying at home more."
They discuss the impact of this shift, emphasizing that while there's still a market for in-person services, the consistency of income has become unpredictable due to market saturation.
The duo delves into the financial aspects of sex work, highlighting the inconsistency of earnings and the common pitfalls of spending without saving.
Amanda (01:07): "I never saved a cent. Really? Well, because I thought it was the gift that kept giving, you know?"
Amanda shares her personal experience of rapidly spending her earnings on trips and luxuries, believing her income would be endless. This pattern led to financial instability, compelling her to eventually reevaluate her spending habits.
Kayla Jade (01:42): "Pay for your own flights, you pay for your hotels, you pay for travel. So, yeah, I definitely wasted a lot of money."
Amanda recounts advice from a former boss to treat sex work as a business and prioritize saving, though she admits she did not heed this advice initially.
Amanda discusses the challenges of maintaining a professional persona and the impact it had on her personal identity. She shares her experiences with cosmetic surgeries to align her appearance with industry standards.
Amanda (02:20): "I have one in Turkey and that was like a botch job. Nearly died on the operating table. But the second one was like a corrective, like in Australia and like, it was amazing."
The conversation touches upon the pressures to conform to specific beauty standards and the lengths to which sex workers may go to remain competitive.
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the societal stigma associated with being a sex worker and a mother. Amanda challenges the misconception that motherhood and sex work are incompatible.
Amanda (04:13): "I think people think when you become a mother, you don't become sexual anymore."
She highlights that many sex workers are single mothers, battling societal judgment while striving to provide for their families.
Amanda (04:45): "Society doesn't see it that way."
Amanda shares her internal struggle before going public about her work, fearing it would negatively impact her role as a mother. Her psychologist's reassurance that one's profession doesn't define their parenting capabilities was pivotal in her acceptance.
Amanda opens up about her mental health journey, revealing her diagnoses of bipolar 2 disorder and ADHD. She emphasizes the importance of mental health care and how stepping away from the industry aided her recovery.
Amanda (10:03): "I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 probably a few years ago... I became super healthy and I became mentally healthy."
Kayla Jade shares her own ADHD diagnosis, drawing parallels between their experiences and the mental toll that sex work can exert.
Amanda (12:02): "Stepping away from the industry, like, that was just so much better for your mental health."
They discuss how the constant demands of the industry can lead to dissociation and challenges in forming genuine relationships outside of work.
A particularly poignant segment features Amanda recounting a tumultuous relationship with a client, highlighting the blurred boundaries and potential for manipulation inherent in the industry.
Amanda (17:42): "We went on holiday together to Italy. It was very romantic. I thought I was gonna marry him."
The relationship escalated into stalking behavior, forcing Amanda to obtain a restraining order. This story underscores the emotional vulnerabilities sex workers may face when personal and professional lines intersect.
Amanda (18:44): "He would turn up at my cafe in Sydney. It was just a nightmare."
Amanda offers candid advice to women considering entering the sex work industry, cautioning them about the challenges and the difficulty of leaving once involved.
Amanda (14:57): "It's a job that's not for everyone. You need to have a bit of grit about you."
She emphasizes the importance of building a career first and viewing sex work as a last resort, advocating for financial stability and personal well-being above all.
Amanda (23:22): "Get a job first, get a career. If you want to have kids, go and have kids."
The discussion shifts to the unique challenges faced by male escorts, noting the scarcity and societal perceptions that hinder their success compared to their female counterparts.
Amanda (15:58): "That's why there's only, like, very few male escorts and very few male porn stars."
Amanda explains that societal expectations and misconceptions make it difficult for men to succeed in escorting, as many underestimate the complexities involved.
Amanda shares her journey of leaving the sex work industry, focusing on rediscovering her true self and building a life beyond the persona of Samantha X.
Amanda (21:05): "I lost my identity. I didn't know who I was. And when the psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar, he said, finally, once you get you medicated, you will finally know who Amanda is."
She discusses the importance of therapy, support networks, and the continuous process of self-discovery in establishing a balanced and fulfilling life post-sex work.
Amanda (22:10): "You need to have a good support network around you... Always have an exit plan."
Amanda emphasizes that leaving the industry requires careful planning and support to navigate the psychological and emotional transitions involved.
The episode wraps up with Amanda promoting her books and resources for those interested in her story.
Amanda (27:13): "My book Misfit and my third book, The Unraveling of Samantha X Misfit, is out in all good bookstores."
Kayla Jade expresses gratitude for Amanda's openness and the invaluable insights shared, encouraging listeners to seek Amanda’s work for further understanding.
Kayla Jade (27:37): "Keep doing, honey. You too. I'm so excited to see what happens in the future for both of us. So yay. Bye, guys."
Industry Saturation and Shifts: The sex work industry has become more saturated and has shifted significantly towards online platforms, affecting the consistency of income and the nature of client interactions.
Financial Management: Many sex workers struggle with financial instability due to inconsistent earnings and lack of savings, often spending liberally in the early stages of their careers.
Personal Identity and Health: Maintaining a professional persona can blur personal identity, leading to significant mental health challenges. Diagnoses of bipolar disorder and ADHD emphasize the need for mental health support.
Stigma and Motherhood: Balancing motherhood and sex work is fraught with societal stigma, despite the fact that many sex workers are single mothers who successfully support their families.
Complex Client Relationships: Relationships with clients can become complicated and sometimes dangerous, underscoring the importance of setting and maintaining clear boundaries.
Gender Dynamics: Male escorts face unique challenges and societal misconceptions that hinder their success and visibility in the industry.
Transition and Self-Discovery: Leaving sex work involves a profound journey of self-discovery, mental health care, and rebuilding one’s identity beyond the professional persona.
This episode provides a raw and honest exploration of the multifaceted life of a sex worker, shedding light on the personal and professional challenges faced, and offering invaluable advice for those considering the industry or seeking to understand it better.