"Boutique Hotels" w/ Cole Escola RE-RELEASE

Summary

StraightioLab Episode Summary: "Boutique Hotels" with Cole Escola (Re-Released) Release Date: June 17, 2025

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Introduction

In this re-released episode of StraightioLab, hosts Matt Rogers and Tom Yamas delve into the intricate dynamics of boutique hotels and their place within straight culture. Joined by guest Cole Escola, a two-time guest and Tony Award-winning playwright, the trio explores how boutique hotels mirror societal norms and the subtle influences of gay culture on predominantly straight establishments.

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Section 1: Setting the Stage

The episode kicks off with Matt Rogers and Tom Yamas setting the context for Pride Month, intertwining humor with insightful analysis. As they transition from their regular banter, Bowen Yang briefly appears to address listeners about the temporary hiatus of StraightioLab due to various commitments, including celebrating Pride and promoting Cole Escola's acclaimed play, "Oh Mary." (Timestamp: [00:00] - [03:44])

Notable Quote:

Bowen Yang: "We're so proud of Tony Award winner and two-time StraightioLab guest, Cole Escola for all their success." (01:33)

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Section 2: Introducing the Main Topic – Boutique Hotels

The hosts introduce the main segment, focusing on boutique hotels and their place in straight culture. They propose that while boutique hotels might seem like straightforward hospitality ventures, they are deeply rooted in nuanced cultural exchanges and societal reflections.

Discussion Points:

• Definition and Appeal: Boutique hotels are characterized by their unique designs, personalized services, and distinct themes that set them apart from standard hotel chains.
• Cultural Influence: The discussion highlights how many boutique hotels incorporate elements traditionally associated with gay culture, such as open salad bars, stylish décor, and concierge services that offer personalized recommendations.

Notable Quote:

Matt Rogers: "This segment is going to gauge your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture." (30:05)

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Section 3: Straight Culture and Its Mirror in Boutique Hotels

Cole Escola provides expert insights into how boutique hotels serve as a "mirror to society," reflecting both overt and subtle aspects of straight culture.

Key Insights:

• Salad Bars as a Cultural Symbol: Salad bars, often seen in boutique hotels, are discussed as a nod to gay culture's emphasis on health and customization, allowing guests to pick exactly what they want without interference.

  Quote:

  Cole Escola: "A salad bar is like the salad's gay culture, but you can pick what you want. You're not improving on it." (42:23)

• Surveillance and Modernization: The incorporation of multiple surveillance cameras in hotel TVs is examined as a commentary on the increasing surveillance in modern society, drawing parallels with themes of privacy and security.

  Quote:

  Tom Yamas: "The poll at JFK airport has like 14 surveillance cameras on it. It looks like a commentary on surveillance dates." (41:26)

• Concierge Services: The role of the concierge is highlighted as an attempt to add a personable touch, often staffed by individuals from the LGBTQ+ community, who provide tailored recommendations, thus bridging cultural gaps.

  Quote:

  Tom Yamas: "Concierge is being like, we need a gay guy to tell us where to go." (49:14)

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Section 4: Stereotypes and Reality in Boutique Hotel Culture

The conversation delves into the stereotypes associated with boutique hotels, questioning their authenticity and the extent to which they cater to straight clientele while borrowing heavily from gay cultural elements.

Discussion Points:

• Sanitization and Standardization: Boutique hotels often strive for a clean, standardized look that appeals to a broad audience, inadvertently stripping away the uniqueness that defines them.

  Quote:

  Matt Rogers: "I think the straightness comes from the sanitization of them. Every room is the same, but different." (48:31)

• Gentrification and Cultural Appropriation: The hosts debate whether boutique hotels genuinely honor the cultural elements they borrow or if they commodify and dilute them to fit a straight narrative.

  Quote:

  Tom Yamas: "Boutique hotels start out gay, and then it becomes straight. That's just for the circle of life." (51:24)

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Section 5: Guest Segment – Cole Escola’s Perspective

Cole Escola shares personal anecdotes and professional experiences that shed light on the interplay between theater, straight culture, and hospitality industries.

Key Highlights:

• Theater Economics: Cole discusses the financial challenges of Off Broadway productions, emphasizing the lack of affordable ticket options and the necessity of government subsidies, which are more prevalent in Europe.

  Quote:

  Cole Escola: "I wish it were much, much cheaper to see theater, but I didn't understand the economics of it." (75:25)

• Cultural Subscriptions: The influence of Italian restaurants and their design inspirations, such as the Sistine Chapel, is explored, highlighting how certain aesthetics become mainstream through commercialization.

  Quote:

  Cole Escola: "I thought it was so ugly because they cleaned it in the 90s. Now it's like a 90s Italian restaurant aesthetic." (60:00)

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Section 6: Rapid-Fire Segment – Straight Shooters

In the "Straight Shooters" segment, Matt and Tom engage Cole in a series of rapid-fire "this or that" questions designed to uncover his alignment and participation in various aspects of straight culture.

Examples of Questions and Responses:

• Baby Carrots vs. Cupcakes:

  Matt Rogers: "A body shaped like an hourglass or a potty molded perfectly to your body?"
  Cole Escola: "Shaped like an hourglass." (30:43 - 31:00)

• Wait Preferences:

  Matt Rogers: "Would you rather people be overly polite but you don't know what they're thinking or overly curt and honest?"
  Tom Yamas: "I prefer curt but honest." (15:14 - 15:32)

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Section 7: Fashion and Cultural Trends

The hosts and Cole speculate on upcoming fashion trends influenced by straight and gay cultures, humorously blending iconic styles with contemporary aesthetics.

Discussion Points:

• Tim Gunn and Rachael Ray on the Runway: The idea of pairing well-known personalities with fictional roles to comment on cultural stereotypes.

  Quote:

  Tom Yamas: "This season on the Runway, we're seeing Tim Gunn walking as Roxy." (77:16)

• Hybrid Styles and Retro Revival: Predictions about the resurgence of 90s fashion elements like ill-fitting jeans, fleece vests, and flamboyant accessories.

  Quote:

  Tom Yamas: "Maybe next year we’re gonna be seeing Tim Gunn and Rachel Ray as Will and Grace." (79:05)

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Section 8: Conclusions and Takeaways

As the episode wraps up, Matt and Tom reflect on the complexities of boutique hotels as cultural institutions that both reflect and shape societal norms. Cole Escola emphasizes the importance of recognizing these subtle influences and encourages listeners to critically assess the environments they engage with daily.

Final Thoughts:

• Cultural Reflection: Boutique hotels serve as microcosms of broader societal trends, mirroring the ongoing dialogue between straight and gay cultures.
• Consumer Awareness: Guests and patrons should remain aware of the cultural underpinnings of the services and aesthetics they encounter in luxury and themed accommodations.

Closing Quote:

Cole Escola: "I really appreciate you filling out why hotels are straight. I came in with an idea and I didn't know." (81:58)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Matt Rogers: "Sometimes I think, make it make sense is such a stupid Internet phrase..." (05:01)

2. Cole Escola: "A salad bar is like the salad's gay culture, but you can pick what you want." (42:23)

3. Tom Yamas: "Concierge is being like, we need a gay guy to tell us where to go." (49:14)

4. Cole Escola: "I'd prefer not to be Mary Todd Lincoln in a Marvel movie." (22:15)

5. Matt Rogers: "The only thing I'm waiting for that was worth it was...?" (38:03)

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Insights and Conclusions

The episode "Boutique Hotels" with Cole Escola offers a humorous yet insightful examination of how straight culture intertwines with influences from gay culture within the hospitality industry. Through witty banter and sharp observations, Matt Rogers, Tom Yamas, and Cole Escola uncover the layers beneath seemingly mundane aspects of boutique hotels. The discussion serves as a reminder that cultural exchanges are pervasive and often go unnoticed, shaping our experiences in subtle ways. Listeners are encouraged to remain mindful of these influences and understand the broader cultural narratives at play in everyday settings.

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Final Promotion

The episode concludes with a promotion for Cole Escola's play, "Oh Mary," highlighting its success and encouraging listeners to attend.

Matt Rogers: "Please, thank you for promoting the last week of Oh Maryplay.com." (82:08)

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Conclusion

This episode of StraightioLab masterfully blends humor with cultural critique, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of the societal reflections embodied by boutique hotels. Through engaging discussions and memorable quotes, Matt, Tom, and Cole Escola deliver a compelling narrative that entertains while enlightening.

Transcript

[Bowen Yang]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Matt Rogers]

Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos, but now the old gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast, Silver Linings with the old gays, brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veiv Healthcare. Hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to sex, love, community and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. So check out Silver Linings, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tom Yamas]

Taking over the helm of NBC Nightly News, a 75 year old broadcast, it's a great responsibility.

[Bowen Yang]

Good evening.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm Tom Yamas. You have to go out there to bring people at home closer to the story. Wildfires continue to be a threat. With that massive hurricane comes the massive response. The best reporters in our business know how to listen. And when you listen, you get the truth. For NBC News. For NBC News. For NBC News, I'm Tom Yamas.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what we do every night. NBC Nightly News with Tom Yamas. Evenings on NBC. This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas.

[Matt Rogers]

And I'm Matt Rogers. And we're the hosts of Las Culturistas.

[Bowen Yang]

It's Pride month, and you know what that means.

[Tom Yamas]

Friendship parties. Dancing. Correct.

[Bowen Yang]

And do you know what the perfect thing to bring to any Pride event is?

[Matt Rogers]

Bowen, we talked about this. I'm not a thing.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, not you. I met Casamigos.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, Chic.

[Matt Rogers]

And honestly, the only other correct answer.

[Bowen Yang]

A Casamigos margarita during Pride.

[Tom Yamas]

Now that's a slay. Ah, Casamigos.

[Matt Rogers]

Anything is a slave.

[Bowen Yang]

Cause anything goes with my Casamigos.

[Matt Rogers]

Anything goes with my Casamigos. Beau, you're a poet.

[Bowen Yang]

Please drink responsibly. By Casamigos Spirits Company, White Plains, New York. Casamingos Tequila, 40% alcohol by volume.

[Tom Yamas]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th, score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno, Cheez it Crackers, Oscar Meyer lunchables and just bear chicken bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. Details. Hootie Hoo, everyone. It's me, George. I have bad news and I have good news. The bad news is that there's no new episode this week because we are both traveling and working and of course celebrating Pride, which is a full time job with terrible benefits. And also some of us are getting married and there's just a lot going on over at Straighter Lab hq. But I promise we will be back next week with a whole new episode. We are quite literally recording two new episodes tomorrow in studio in New York with some really great guests. So I promise we will be back very soon. So that is the bad news. The good news is that to celebrate our friend Cola Scola's Tony Award win for their smash hit play oh Mary, we have decided to re release their episode from a little over a year ago when I believe they were promoting the Off Broadway run of the play before it had even extended Off Broadway. So a lot can happen in a year. We are so proud of Tony Award winner and two time Stradio Lab guest, Cola Scola for all their success. And Cole, if you're listening, please text us back. We really want you to connect us to Nicole Scherzinger. We think she'd be such a good guest on the podcast. I think we would have a lot to talk about. I think we have a lot in common and so we are looking forward to your response. Enjoy the episode. Bye.

[Matt Rogers]

Podcast starts now.

[Tom Yamas]

I already have a thought which is I'm gonna bring back Zip It.

[Matt Rogers]

You're bringing back Zip It?

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. You brought back Methinks, which I think first of all worked.

[Matt Rogers]

1. It swept the world by storm.

[Tom Yamas]

People think we might. People might think we're joking if they were not up to date with our Instagram stories, let's say. But literally a week after you said we're bringing back Methinks, none other than Taylor Swift posted Methinks Me things.

[Matt Rogers]

The Methinks movement was a huge success.

[Tom Yamas]

I do think the Methinks movement. Well, you know, now with the benefit of hindsight, did it go too far?

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe it did get too big. Where it started as sort of a, you know, alt community and then it became so mainstream so fast that even I found myself being like, no, I.

[Tom Yamas]

Don'T even like, Methinks, you know, the Methinks movement started as people telling their stories and they were necessary, but at some point you start thinking, do they just want attention?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So you're gonna do that with Zip It.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm gonna do that with Zip It. By the way, I don't actually believe what I just said. That was a sort of harmless bit.

[Matt Rogers]

We play characters on this podcast.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, we play characters on this podcast. I'm A huge feminist, and everyone knows that. I do think I'm gonna. I think zip it is such a fun way to say shut up.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, it's so 90s.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And even like the bit like the zip.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Playing with it.

[Tom Yamas]

To have a word that starts with a Z is so rare.

[Matt Rogers]

So rare.

[Tom Yamas]

So rare.

[Matt Rogers]

Getting rarer.

[Tom Yamas]

Logical. Yes, Zelda.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I've said that a fair amount in my day.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay, well, I'm not a gamer like you. You know, I had a friend who had launched a bottled cocktail company called Zuzu. I said that is the best name for this is not a joke. Actually, a very good friend of mine and I was like, that is such a genius name, because everyone wants to say more Z's.

[Matt Rogers]

Everyone's craving more Z's in their life.

[Tom Yamas]

So I think zip it could be big.

[Matt Rogers]

I think zip it could be huge. And I told you this last night, but I'm actually loving the semi irony of exclaiming, make it make sense.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, you love make it make sense.

[Matt Rogers]

I think make it make sense is so funny. It's just vintage enough where it's like some people still say it for real.

[Tom Yamas]

And it's rooted in truth. Sometimes you are like, make it make sense. Show me the work.

[Matt Rogers]

But it's such a stupid Internet phrase that is like, saying it out in the wild as if it's normal is very like blurg core.

[Tom Yamas]

So true.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you think? Does everyone understand blurrg as shorthand?

[Tom Yamas]

Wait, hold on. You mean blerg as a meta. Metanom's not the right word. Blurg as a categorization. Categorization of a specific Internet language and.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, type of humor.

[Tom Yamas]

And type of humor. That's very sort of like, on the spectrum of love these beautiful humans. Yeah, love these beautiful humans is one end and the other end is the interwebs.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, exactly.

[Tom Yamas]

And blurg is in the middle.

[Matt Rogers]

Blurg is center.

[Tom Yamas]

To be clear, the entire spectrum is morally bankrupt, of course.

[Matt Rogers]

But it's important to recognize that there are differences within the culture.

[Tom Yamas]

I swear to God, someone needs to write an essay about how I've been saying this for years. It's my term that I coined, half humor, which is when something gestures at being funny but is not actually funny.

[Matt Rogers]

Is blurghcore different than half humor?

[Tom Yamas]

No, I would say blurg, interweb. And these beautiful humans are all part of, like, the initial wave of half humor. And I think currently half humor is like Joe Biden posting dark Brandon memes. We do have to bring in our guests, but I want to I want to torture them even further by talking about something that I know they want to comment on while they're not allowed to speak.

[Matt Rogers]

Chastity play.

[Tom Yamas]

We were talking about how our. And again, they will say this themselves, but they were saying that they liked being part of a friend group of three. And my response was that is the worst number for a friend group because inevitably someone gets left out. There are two best friends and one sort of like flop third.

[Matt Rogers]

I completely disagree. I think a three group of friends is like there's checks and balances there.

[Tom Yamas]

From a social justice perspective, undoubtedly it's the right choice, but. And I'm saying in practice, listen, it's like how of course communism would work theoretically, but honey, show me where it works in practice.

[Matt Rogers]

I also like that it sort of has an engine churning to it. A3. When someone's out, then they're like, okay, well then I'll do something to get back in. And then they're like, okay, well now we need to catch up to this. And there's just sort of a. They progress. They push each other.

[Tom Yamas]

You're thinking as an improv comedian and I think for you and potentially for me, like for us a three way friend group would work because we all have a sense of play within us. I think the average person wants to be on top and the average person wants to win. And when the average person is in a group of three, they are looking. Our guest is vigorously shaking their head.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

It is also not to state the obvious, very meta, so to speak, that we are currently banning the third person in this friend group of people speaking.

[Matt Rogers]

We know who's on the bottom right now.

[Tom Yamas]

While talking about the benefits of slash drawbacks of groups of three.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, and this came up, I will say, because, you know, we were talking and saying we are potentially gonna do an episode with just the two of us. And we were like, neither of us seemed jumping at that and I felt like it was sort of like we were a couple that needed a third at all times in order to be engaged with each other.

[Tom Yamas]

It is a crutch, I guess, but.

[Matt Rogers]

It doesn't have to be.

[Tom Yamas]

It doesn't have to be. Maybe we don't even bring in our guest ever.

[Matt Rogers]

I would celebrate it and just sort.

[Tom Yamas]

Of do an episode, just two of us now. Why wait until the next session?

[Matt Rogers]

Why wait? I mean, their time is flexible.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

They are free. They're not for a fact all day.

[Tom Yamas]

They're not promoting anything. This is a favor to them, honestly.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. What else?

[Tom Yamas]

I don't even like them that much.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, no. What else would we like to say that they love to jump in on.

[Tom Yamas]

You know, what's the deal with Abraham Lincoln?

[Matt Rogers]

Say that.

[Tom Yamas]

I've always, it's always been a big question mark for me.

[Matt Rogers]

I pretty much get it.

[Tom Yamas]

Was he married?

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, let's do it. Our guest has steam coming out of their damn ears at this point. Please welcome Cola Scola.

[Bowen Yang]

Hi.

[Tom Yamas]

Hi.

[Bowen Yang]

First of all, half, humor is the lifeblood of work.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes, have. Humor is very much like icebreakers, corporate retreat, latitude, latitudes, aphorisms, badass culture.

[Bowen Yang]

It's.

[Tom Yamas]

You are a badass. Like the book. You are a badass. Have you seen that in airport? There's a book called I'm pretty sure it's called you are a badass. And it's like a self help book with like a punchy humor quality. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And. And okay, that was one thing. Yeah. The other thing is in, in, in groups of three, the pressure is off to be. The pressure's off.

[Tom Yamas]

I see.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, because two people and like it's silent. It's like I've. I like, I like being like, you know what? They've got this.

[Matt Rogers]

I love that actually. And do you feel that way in sex as well?

[Bowen Yang]

I do, I feel that way in sex. No, it's. Threesomes feel confusing, you know?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, totally.

[Bowen Yang]

Because you don't want to lay back.

[Matt Rogers]

There's more at stake Sometimes.

[Tom Yamas]

Sometimes you do want to lay back, but there's more at stake if you're a little silent in a three way conversation for a bit and you're taking a sip of water, you're not thinking, wait, do they hate me? You're just thinking, I'm taking a break.

[Matt Rogers]

Sometimes I'm not thinking they hate me, but sometimes I am thinking like, they're boring.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Like I'm thinking, like, this conversation's not.

[Tom Yamas]

That good because I'm not exacerbating.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, okay.

[Matt Rogers]

During a conversation, like, oh, during a.

[Bowen Yang]

Conversation or during a three way.

[Matt Rogers]

During a conversation.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, okay. Yeah, well, and that's fine because they've got it.

[Matt Rogers]

They've got it.

[Bowen Yang]

They've got it. You're like, okay, they're having their boring conversation.

[Tom Yamas]

Right, Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't have to engage. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Sometimes I'll do a performative yawn. I'll just be like.

[Matt Rogers]

That'S a key role that a friend can play.

[Bowen Yang]

But I think more people want to be cucks than they admit. Cucks. Cucked cucks. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay. Okay, wait, I missed the start of this.

[Bowen Yang]

No, you didn't. No, you didn't.

[Matt Rogers]

That's pretty much.

[Bowen Yang]

Pretty much it.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay, so do you think. So you think there are more people than are willing to admit it that want to be cucked?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Yeah. I think fear of being, like, cheated on is actually a desire to be cheated on. You know? And the last topic that I brought when I was on this show was cheating. Was cheating.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

This is very straight.

[Tom Yamas]

I do think you're so right. Well, of course. Everything.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you.

[Matt Rogers]

He's in silence.

[Tom Yamas]

Excuse me, I'm speaking. Of course. Every big fear we have, including like, nuclear war, is a desire for that fear.

[Bowen Yang]

Sure. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, that's the whole thing. I hate when people are like, we're living in the end times talking about blurk humor.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, my God. Living in the end times is so okay. Amy and I.

[Matt Rogers]

But it's like, clearly you're just like a narcissist. Like, you kind of want it to end, to be like, I was there. I actually was there when it ended.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So my story matters.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, that's also. It's again, everyone thinks they're living in the worst possible time. And it's not because they have this, like, incredible capacity for empathy or critique. It's because they have literally main character syndrome and think they are living in the most.

[Bowen Yang]

What is it called? Drive for death.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes. Death drive.

[Bowen Yang]

Death drive. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

Huh. Wait, write that down.

[Matt Rogers]

Write that. That's really smart.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you.

[Matt Rogers]

I have a question regarding. You brought up half humor in the workplace.

[Bowen Yang]

Specifically.

[Matt Rogers]

Would you rather there be half humor or humor? Because one thing, this is interesting, one thing that's tough about a workplace is I get the utility of half humor.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, absolutely.

[Matt Rogers]

Because you want to be able to, like, it's really like, we're friendly how.

[Bowen Yang]

How like Europeans are, like, either complain or are happy about how fake nice Americans are. Like, say, everyone asking, how's your day? But they don't really care.

[Tom Yamas]

You know, my grandmother used to do. This is going to be a visual thing. So.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, close your eyes, everybody.

[Tom Yamas]

Check it out.

[Bowen Yang]

On YouTub, pull over. If you're driving, pull over.

[Tom Yamas]

Full episodes, I repeat, full episodes available on our YouTube channel. My grandmother used to do this. This is her impression of an American. And she used to do this when we were kids. She would go, uh huh. She would do like, wait, I'm doing it again. She'd be like, nice to meet you. Yeah. She would like do a smile and then immediately retract the smile. Cause it's so fake.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow. Impressions queen.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, she was an impressions queen. She is actually still alive.

[Bowen Yang]

So is it.

[Matt Rogers]

She's lost her tal.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah. She's like, would you rather have. Not that. The absence.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, this is, you know, some would argue. Yes, yes. That, you know, that's sort of a New York versus LA question.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Yamas]

Would those people's name be Sam Daggart?

[Matt Rogers]

Look, I don't. I wish it were true. Well, it's just like. That is like, would you rather people be, like, overly polite but you don't know what they're thinking or would overly curt and. But, like, honest. But yeah, and I prefer curt but honest.

[Tom Yamas]

I agree. And I also think, like, when I.

[Bowen Yang]

Think you do the Sandra Hooler, but you have no idea.

[Matt Rogers]

Ow. That was so curt and honest. I feel like the Sandra Hooler interview cycle where she's being like, cold and they're like, do you love Mezzi the dog? And she's like, it is a dog. And I'm like, I love that, actually.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, my favorite part of the Sandra Hooler world is how people keep trying to make jokes about the fact that she plays a literal Nazi and zone of interest and she refuses to laugh along. She's just like, that is not funny.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, well, would you rather her laugh?

[Tom Yamas]

That's true. It's not funny, by the way.

[Matt Rogers]

She's like, wait, that's lol.

[Tom Yamas]

She's literally like, oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm just now realizing it's crazy.

[Tom Yamas]

Wait, how random that I.

[Matt Rogers]

God, no.

[Tom Yamas]

Talk about blurg.

[Matt Rogers]

I guess I'm a Nazi now, so that's normal.

[Bowen Yang]

Make it make sense.

[Tom Yamas]

Make it make sense. Make it make sense.

[Bowen Yang]

Make it make sense. Make sense.

[Tom Yamas]

So here's my thing with have humor in the workplace is it is keeping people just well behaved enough that they don't, like, start the revolution.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm so sorry. Capital. Yeah. It's like.

[Tom Yamas]

It's in fact neoliberal one.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Because that is literally what, like, the difference is between.

[Bowen Yang]

And soothing.

[Tom Yamas]

Exactly. Between cubicle culture and bouncy balls. What?

[Matt Rogers]

Sorry, What?

[Tom Yamas]

What?

[Matt Rogers]

Huh?

[Bowen Yang]

What's so funny?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I'm not trying to make fun of you, but you said it weird cubicle.

[Tom Yamas]

Weird cubicle.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

What did I say?

[Matt Rogers]

You said like cubicle, cubicle. Like, it's very cubical.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a cube.

[Matt Rogers]

It's more like cube.

[Tom Yamas]

Sandra, you work in a cubicle? Oh, yes. That's not fun. Cubicle, Cubicle.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's. I would prefer fake.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Fake humor. Half humor.

[Tom Yamas]

Recently I Said to someone, I was talking about, like, going to high school in Greece. And I was like, yeah, but, you know, I lived here my early childhood. That's why I don't have an accent. And they go, I think you have a slight accent. I was like, whoa. First of all, that's for me to decide, not you. Yeah, but I guess I said the word cubicle.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I think that was it.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that was a giveaway. That was such a deep Greek accent.

[Bowen Yang]

We're all like, ask George. Tell George to say cubicle.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, before I got distracted, you were saying something. Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

Who cares?

[Bowen Yang]

Just about half humor in the workplace.

[Tom Yamas]

Half humor in the workplace. Now I'm worried that I'm. I have to be the one to write this essay. And now that I've said it publicly, someone else is gonna write it. Gia Tolentino is gonna step in and write the essay about half humor.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you know what? It'll be a good essay.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. Hello. Excuse me. Yeah, I can do it.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, but do you have.

[Bowen Yang]

But you could do it if you.

[Matt Rogers]

Put your mind to it, right? Exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Gia puts pen to. Well, that's just true. That's not anyone else.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay, well, I'm. Okay. I'm committing that in the next calendar year, I will publish my essay on Half Humor. And I don't care if it's in Barry Weiss's substack.

[Matt Rogers]

Uh.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, it's gonna get published.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Tom Yamas]

That's right. I'm gonna go right wing so I can publish my essay.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm like, no one else will publish you.

[Tom Yamas]

I don't know. So.

[Bowen Yang]

Cole, okay, let's get serious, please.

[Matt Rogers]

Let's cut the shit.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's cut the shit.

[Tom Yamas]

So you have a show at Union hall or something?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, it's called Just Us Gals. And it's sort of like it's all, like, your funny friends. Like, it's just like listening to your funny friends.

[Matt Rogers]

Totally.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And this is a spin off of your previous show, lgbt. Lol, right?

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I love that show.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you.

[Tom Yamas]

That was a huge hit. Yeah. I mean, it was a different time. It was a lot.

[Bowen Yang]

It was a different time. I feel bad about, like, a lot of the stuff that we said, but.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, well, you can't publicly talk about a lot of it. Because of the lawsuit.

[Bowen Yang]

No, exactly. Exactly. Which is a blessing and a curse.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, monetarily, a curse, but, like, public relations wise, a blessing.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't have a show at Union Hall. Oh, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you.

[Matt Rogers]

We Are like, we're playing this weird game where we're not saying your show. And also.

[Bowen Yang]

That's fine.

[Tom Yamas]

It's funny because we. Of course, to us, it's obvious what the show is, but I realized that the. Not the whole point. Part of the point of us talking is to promote the show.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, not that it needs it.

[Tom Yamas]

Not that it needs it. Well, that's the thing. It is sold out.

[Bowen Yang]

It is sold out. But we just added one more week.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, well, this is gonna make all the difference. Cause I heard that that extra week actually is not selling.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, that one. The last week.

[Tom Yamas]

The last week is actually.

[Matt Rogers]

It sold.

[Bowen Yang]

Up until that last week, you thought.

[Tom Yamas]

You were like. You got really cocky, and you were like, wow, it sold out. Like, I had an extra week.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

But it turns out everyone that wanted tickets, they got them.

[Matt Rogers]

They got them.

[Bowen Yang]

They're good. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

But this is. Oh, Mary, if we're gonna be honest.

[Matt Rogers]

For a second, if we can be honest. If we can cut the bullshit.

[Tom Yamas]

Cut the bullshit and be curt and honest, like New Yorkers rather than Los Angeles. Than Los Angeles, sort of like talking, yap, yap, yap, without saying anything.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Tom Yamas]

And we've both seen it, obviously.

[Matt Rogers]

Of course.

[Tom Yamas]

Here's the thing. Here's my thing with a show, with. With this show is like, every superlative about it has been said, and I agree with all of them. And I'm like, what original thing can I say that will add to it?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

And also, I know Cole can see through fake praise. It's like. So I'm like, there's another layer where I'm like, okay, Cole has said that.

[Bowen Yang]

I think the best thing you could say is enough has been said about it.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's really smart.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's fun.

[Matt Rogers]

Enough's been said about it.

[Bowen Yang]

It's good. No, no, but let's not.

[Tom Yamas]

No, but is one of those rare things that is, in fact, as good as everyone says it is. And then you're like, well, it sort of sucks that we used up all the superlatives to talk about, like, Saltburn.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Soup and Saltburn.

[Tom Yamas]

Soup and Saltburn.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

No, it's an incredible show. Absolutely groundbreaking. It really is. It just is. You're one of the greatest we've got. And you know it.

[Tom Yamas]

And you know it.

[Matt Rogers]

And this is such a perfect encapsulation of it, all of your humor and taste and performance.

[Tom Yamas]

And, you know, I say this as someone who goes to a lot of theater. Cool.

[Matt Rogers]

And I go to very little.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm Always. I'm always. Instagram.

[Bowen Yang]

I get both ends high and low. Yeah. High, low, high, low.

[Tom Yamas]

And I'll tell you something. A lot of it is not good.

[Bowen Yang]

Theater.

[Tom Yamas]

Theater. That's why I never called theater in New York City.

[Bowen Yang]

There's a lot of gorgeous theater.

[Tom Yamas]

A lot of it is also good.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

But would you not agree that a lot of it is not good?

[Bowen Yang]

I'm trying to.

[Tom Yamas]

You're trying to.

[Bowen Yang]

Awards right now. So please.

[Matt Rogers]

Campaigning, campaigning, campaigning.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, I gotta. I can't burn any bridges right now.

[Tom Yamas]

Here's a question for you. So in this play. Oh, Mary, you play Mary Todd Lincoln.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

If, let's say, suddenly you're cast in a Marvel movie as Batgirl.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

You have to leave the show.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Who would you cast to play Mary?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I am. I am already, like, a thousand steps ahead. Like, I can't wait for other people to play.

[Matt Rogers]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. I would prefer not.

[Tom Yamas]

You don't want to say.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, to be. No, I would prefer not to be.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. That's.

[Matt Rogers]

That's shocking to me.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, it's exhausting. I mean, it's fun. It's the most fun I've ever had.

[Tom Yamas]

It sounds like hell, to be honest.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Eight shows a week.

[Bowen Yang]

Eight shows a week.

[Matt Rogers]

That is crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what theater people do, you know? That's what we do. That's what we do. That's what we do.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, I have one podcast in a day, and I say, ugh, yeah, I can't do this anymore.

[Bowen Yang]

I would love. I've fantasized about Titus Burgess playing. Ooh, that is Mary Todd Lincoln.

[Tom Yamas]

That's really good.

[Bowen Yang]

Donna Mur. Oh, my God, she'd be amazing, the two of them together, sort of like every other word.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, you know, arms linked.

[Bowen Yang]

Arms linked, like, looking at each other, sort of like.

[Tom Yamas]

I mean, you're on the Martin.

[Bowen Yang]

You say incredible. Yeah. Any but, like, I would love. When I was in auditions for the understudy, I was like, oh, this is a good role for someone.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, it absolutely is.

[Matt Rogers]

That's so shocking to me.

[Bowen Yang]

Really?

[Matt Rogers]

Just because it was like. It's so you. And it's so, like, it's hard for me to write you down.

[Bowen Yang]

Trust my writing. What are you trying to say here? Structure doesn't.

[Matt Rogers]

It's. It's hard to imagine. I'm sure it would be possible, but.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

I think this is something people have been surprised or not surprised by, but, you know, you hear Kola Scola doing a. Let's say I initially thought it was like a solo show, like a one person.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what I was hoping. Like, now I'm sort of like, I'm sad that the moment's over where everyone was like, oh, this is gonna be Cole throwing on a wig on a stage alone.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And then the surprise of it being a capital oh.

[Tom Yamas]

So that was planned. The surprise of it, like, you.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, yeah, sort of. I mean, I knew that's what people's expectations might be, but I do think that is.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. I mean, that is the big surprise where you're like, oh, this is like, full on a play.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

With a cast.

[Tom Yamas]

The cast.

[Bowen Yang]

Gorgeous. Incredible.

[Tom Yamas]

Of actors.

[Bowen Yang]

I wish I could tell you any of their names. Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Sweet people.

[Bowen Yang]

Sweet, sweet people. They smile at me every day. I just love them all.

[Matt Rogers]

They respect all my boundaries. Don't make eye contact. Don't ask me how I'm doing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's really nice.

[Bowen Yang]

Have any of them been like, James Scully or Conrad?

[Matt Rogers]

James.

[Bowen Yang]

No, we haven't had Tony, Ma, Bianca Lee. None of them. Nobody.

[Tom Yamas]

She's so funny.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. She's so funny. I saw her when I was 18. My first year in New York. My first Christmas alone in New York. I saw Transamerica and she. That movie with Felicity Hoffman.

[Tom Yamas]

She's in Transamerica.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Do you remember?

[Matt Rogers]

She goes.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't even remember what it was, like a sex toy party or a Tupperware party. She's like, the hostess of that party. And then I saw her in Taylor Mac's Five Hour, the Lily's Revenge at Hero Arts Center. She played a cuckoo clock. And I was like, who is she? Diva.

[Matt Rogers]

Dibs.

[Bowen Yang]

Debs. Mine.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Tom Yamas]

I. Sorry to ask the most basic question.

[Matt Rogers]

I have only basic questions, but, like.

[Tom Yamas]

Please, why Mary Todd?

[Bowen Yang]

I just really feel like women, like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I really don't remember, because I had the idea in 2009.

[Tom Yamas]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

Whoa.

[Tom Yamas]

And it was basically like an idea that was born out of just the humor of it. Not using, like, a history buff.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no, no, no. I just thought, like, the. The idea of me playing a historical figure like that.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Was. Was fun. Yeah. And then all those years later, we finally got to the Lortel.

[Matt Rogers]

Are you, like. Are you, like, super regimented right now? Like, if you have to perform eight times a week, are you like.

[Bowen Yang]

I really don't do anything besides, like. Yeah. I mean, like, sleep and then go to the theater. Stretch, stretch. I try to eat at 4:30. See, this is one meal a day after the show.

[Tom Yamas]

One meal a day.

[Bowen Yang]

I try to eat two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if I'm not up early enough, I only get the one meal. It's a difficult life. Here's a question, boys. I don't recommend it.

[Tom Yamas]

Do you feel are the endorphins such that after the show you want to go out?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I. No, no, no, no. I want to go right home.

[Matt Rogers]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Right to bed. Hot creamy meal. Right to bed.

[Tom Yamas]

Hot creamy meal.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Tom Yamas]

All dairy meal. Right to bed.

[Bowen Yang]

But I do need a life outside of it because otherwise the play can't be my only reason for existing. So now I'm trying to find things to do. If you have any suggestions at home, comment below on this video and like it and subscribe and just send us email and vote and vote and vote.

[Tom Yamas]

Please vote. Vote for votes.

[Bowen Yang]

Women in your local city elections.

[Matt Rogers]

They matter, y' all.

[Tom Yamas]

Should we do our first segment?

[Matt Rogers]

Um, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, right.

[Tom Yamas]

I think we have.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

If anything. Yes, please, please, if anything to get it out of the way so that we can keep talking.

[Matt Rogers]

Of course.

[Tom Yamas]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th, score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent and kinder seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pick up or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. You know what's great about your investment account with the big guys? It's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more.

[Bowen Yang]

You can even put your cash to.

[Tom Yamas]

Work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky outdated platform behind. @Public.com Go to Public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Pay for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full [e-mail] disclosures taking over the helm of NBC Nightly News, a 75 year old broadcast. It's a great responsibility. Good evening, I'm Tom Yamas. You have to go out there to bring people at home closer to the store. Wildfires continue to be a threat. With that massive hurricane comes the massive response. The Best reporters in our business know how to listen. And when you listen, you get the truth. For NBC News, NBC News, NBC News. I'm Tom Yamas.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what we do every night. NBC Nightly News with Tom Yamas. Evenings on NBC. At Amica Insurance, we know it's more.

[Tom Yamas]

Than just a car.

[Bowen Yang]

It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive. The hatchback that took you cross country and back. And the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Ameca Auto Insurance. Ameca. Empathy is our best policy.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, Cole, our first segment is called Straight Shooters. And in this segment we're going to ask you a series of rapid fire questions. It's basically this thing or this other thing to gauge your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture. The only rule is you can't ask any follow up questions or we'll scream at you.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, that reminds me of a story I've heard about Shirley MacLaine. Later. Later. Okay, so, Cole.

[Tom Yamas]

I love these beautiful humans or I hate that ugly ass tunic.

[Bowen Yang]

I love these beautiful humans. Cole.

[Matt Rogers]

Curling up with a good book or curling up with Succession's own Sarah Snook?

[Bowen Yang]

Curling up with a good book.

[Tom Yamas]

Tap water is fine. Or FAP every day at 9.

[Bowen Yang]

FAP every day at night after your all dairy meal. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. A body shaped like an hourglass or a potty molded perfect to your body.

[Bowen Yang]

Shaped like an hourglass.

[Tom Yamas]

Respectable. Giving it up for your next comic or living it up before we all get hit by a comet?

[Bowen Yang]

Giving it up for your next comic.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Bowen Yang]

You have to.

[Matt Rogers]

You have to give it up. Okay. White gold or black mold?

[Bowen Yang]

White gold.

[Tom Yamas]

I demand an appeal or I don't understand her whole deal.

[Bowen Yang]

I demand an appeal.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, being on the list or lancing off Assistant.

[Bowen Yang]

Lancing off Assist. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

I have an idea.

[Bowen Yang]

What?

[Tom Yamas]

This is crazy. I'm like. You know, usually we rate our guest performance on a scale of 0 to 1000 doves. Here's what I've been feeling recently.

[Matt Rogers]

What have you been feeling?

[Tom Yamas]

Maybe that scale is over. Maybe we need to figure out a new way to rank. I've been feeling.

[Matt Rogers]

Tell me now.

[Tom Yamas]

I think. Don't you feel like we've been sort of like, okay, we've done every version of that answer.

[Matt Rogers]

I guess I like you.

[Bowen Yang]

But you see, this is what's great about, by the way. Threes.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Now you can. I can. I'm engaged. Yes, but I don't have to worry about having an answer right Anyway, keep.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. So, like, you just, like, directed us now. I feel like now we can have a natural.

[Bowen Yang]

Keep going. Yeah, no, no. I'm watching and listening and just talk naturally.

[Tom Yamas]

You know, I did the number one thing you shouldn't do, which is critique, but not come up with an alternative. This is actually one of my biggest problems in life. I am not solutions based. I. And I very much think.

[Bowen Yang]

Are you a younger sibling?

[Tom Yamas]

I'm an older sibling.

[Bowen Yang]

That's interesting. Of course.

[Tom Yamas]

Just like most things about me, I.

[Bowen Yang]

Feel like that's a younger sibling thing.

[Tom Yamas]

You think so?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

I feel like at some point in my life, I was, like, criticizing. Criticism is a sign of intelligence, and the more you criticize, the more intelligent you are. Yeah. And so, you know, you go into. And I think it's a very childish.

[Bowen Yang]

Where in your body is that. Sorry, this is something my therapist asks all the time. And where in the body. Where in your body do you feel that? I'm like. It's coming out of my head, Right? What do you mean? I always say my stomach. My stomach.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, it's all those creamy meals.

[Bowen Yang]

It's the creamy meals post show.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm sorry, I cut you. You were going. You were talking about renovating the scale.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes. Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Revolutions based.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait.

[Tom Yamas]

Book alert. Renovating the scale.

[Bowen Yang]

Renovation of the scale.

[Tom Yamas]

My life.

[Bowen Yang]

My weight loss journey.

[Tom Yamas]

My weight loss journey on the stage. Chapter Creamy Meals.

[Bowen Yang]

Creamy meals, question mark.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, Well, I just want to. For the scale. Yes, yes, yes. I do like that. It is something that is truly from 2020. Yeah, yeah. And is like that we have stuck with for seemingly.

[Tom Yamas]

No, in that sense, it gets funnier as it goes.

[Matt Rogers]

And I think it's funny to think about literally being, like, four years from now and still doing that, and people are like, what is that again?

[Bowen Yang]

You don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

You've won me over. You've already won me over.

[Matt Rogers]

Beautiful. W get cast in.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, it's not musical.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, we still need to know. You have range, I guess.

[Tom Yamas]

It is a musical. No spoilers.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, that was a spoiler.

[Matt Rogers]

That was a huge spoiler.

[Tom Yamas]

Sorry.

[Bowen Yang]

How do you feel?

[Matt Rogers]

You can't just say no spoilers after you spoil it.

[Bowen Yang]

That's not how it works.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you think of yourself as solutions oriented? Yeah, I actually liked that.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, me too. Ooh, Yeah. I like.

[Matt Rogers]

No. No complainers.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm a complainer.

[Tom Yamas]

You're. Well, but you are a creator. And I don't mean that in the sense of being an LGBTQ creator, making their voice heard. I mean that in the sense that you do. You're not someone who's like, oh, they don't want me here. I'm gonna cry about it. You're like, they don't want me here. I'm gonna go here.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm gonna make a better thing.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm gonna make a better thing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I guess in that way. Yeah, I guess I am kind of like solutions based. Yeah, no, I am. Yeah. Yeah, I think. Well, okay. So it's sort of like fight, flight, or freeze, right?

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Like.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I had never heard of the third option.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, you've never heard of freeze?

[Matt Rogers]

I've heard fight, flight a million times.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, bitch, you need to get back in therapy. Fight or freeze.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, I love this.

[Tom Yamas]

I might be freeze.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm freeze. I'm absolutely freeze.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm freeze.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, great God.

[Tom Yamas]

2 Freeze. Identified gay cancers. Running a small business together.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Good luck.

[Tom Yamas]

Good luck making profit.

[Bowen Yang]

I think a lot of people are freeze.

[Matt Rogers]

I think freeze. It just. To me, it makes the most sense.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Because I'm like, well, I'm not gonna run away, but I'm also not gonna start a fight.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm not gonna know what to do. You're like, I can't fight back.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm putting my body on the line by doing nothing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I will say, if there's multiple freezes in a room, I think it's sort of, you know, it's like you might both be bottoms, but eventually when you're penetrating, someone's gonna be topping. Does this make sense?

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, not if you're a sign, but if you. But I feel like if we're both freezes, there have been many times in our relationship where you have been the one that is ready to fight.

[Tom Yamas]

That's true.

[Matt Rogers]

In a good way.

[Tom Yamas]

That's true.

[Matt Rogers]

And I've gotten to keep my freeze privilege.

[Bowen Yang]

Freeze. Wait, but this was related to being solutions oriented. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where, like, there's complain, there's offer a solution, and then there's leave.

[Tom Yamas]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm more apt to leave.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, interesting.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm more apt to leave as well.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Complain. Offer a solution or leave. I'm complain. I'm sorry, there's just no way.

[Bowen Yang]

So if you're like, you're waiting for a table for a really long time.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, yeah. I'm giving everyone dirty looks. I'm sighing dramatically, looking at my phone, sort of going over to people's table, knocking over all their food, calling them really offensive slurs.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, yeah, yeah. And then and you.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm sort of like, let's go. Yeah, yeah. Or I'm like, it's like.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, it's fine. Let's wait.

[Tom Yamas]

It's not worth it.

[Matt Rogers]

It's not worth it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And I also.

[Tom Yamas]

You're less. You're generally less, like, willing to wait for. You prioritize comfort, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. Like, you prioritize comfort over, like, waiting for the exclusive thing. Would you say that's true?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I think that is true.

[Tom Yamas]

Whereas I'm like, let's say I really want to go.

[Bowen Yang]

It's humiliating to wait.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God. I feel sad.

[Tom Yamas]

But you know what the reward is then? Getting the table and watching other people wait and feeling superior to them.

[Bowen Yang]

You bring up a very good.

[Tom Yamas]

And that's coming from my stomach.

[Bowen Yang]

That's for your stomach.

[Matt Rogers]

I also. I feel like the nice things are, like, rarely worth it. Like the pain of discomfort, of waiting.

[Bowen Yang]

And, like, waiting and being pushed around. And what was the last thing you waited for that you were glad?

[Matt Rogers]

That I was glad? Hmm. God, I have no idea, to be completely honest. It's been a long time since I.

[Bowen Yang]

Had to wait in a line for anything.

[Tom Yamas]

What's the last thing you waited for that was worth it?

[Matt Rogers]

This is the most riveting segment.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's. Yeah, let's. Really?

[Matt Rogers]

No one has a thing they waited for.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, I guess I just usually get things for free.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Olive oil, gelato.

[Matt Rogers]

Is that true?

[Bowen Yang]

I did wait for it. I was happy. I waited. Did you really have to humble yourself to wait for something?

[Matt Rogers]

You know, I also see, you know, in Los Angeles, California.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. I'll be right back.

[Matt Rogers]

I feel that I see a lot of people waiting in line for random. Random stuff. They sort of have, like, cronut culture all the time.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, that's sort of all they have.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. And so when it sees some people waiting in line, I'm like, okay, well, that's what I don't want. Like, I'll never go to that place. It, like, almost looks more unappealing because it's like. It's probably just some gimmick or was, like, written on some blog or something.

[Tom Yamas]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, like, you're not going to trick me.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I'm like, I'm actually a free thinker.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

That's. No, you're right. Well, there's two kinds of waiting, and one is, like, there's only two. Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Male or female.

[Tom Yamas]

Exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

So what's male waiting?

[Tom Yamas]

Male waiting. Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay, so I think one is what you're describing. Cronut culture of, like, waiting for the latest trend. You're so pretty.

[Bowen Yang]

Masculinity.

[Tom Yamas]

But it's also like. It's also like, blogger, blonde blogger.

[Matt Rogers]

Sure, sure.

[Tom Yamas]

You know, big. Big hat. Big hat, blonde blogger. Waiting for the next trend. You are so trend chasing. You have no personality. Your entire life is chasing things that other people are doing. That's one second. Kind of waiting. Is the if you know, you know kind of waiting where you're in the know and you're. And you're part of this, like, exclusive. You've read the paywalled blog that's telling you the new thing.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, they're both the same thing, though.

[Tom Yamas]

You think so? And just one of them.

[Bowen Yang]

One of them you think you're better than.

[Tom Yamas]

Right, Right. That's a. That's not a bad point.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, so I'll tell you which one I prefer to be in.

[Matt Rogers]

Of course.

[Bowen Yang]

But it's the same thing. We all just want to be at the. At the front of the line.

[Tom Yamas]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

We all want to cut in line, don't we? We'll be right back.

[Tom Yamas]

And we're back.

[Matt Rogers]

That was such a convincing. We'll be right back. That was actually terrifying because it felt so real.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I actually was like, we need to throw it a commercial. Yeah, that's so fun. I could feel. We don't even have headphones on. And I was like, yeah. Anyway, how are you?

[Bowen Yang]

Really hot Creamy meals when we return.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, we go outside.

[Matt Rogers]

So you were telling me about.

[Tom Yamas]

Starts crying hysterically. They're like, it's just been really hard.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, I wanted to bring. I have some topics.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes, yes, yes. Topic time.

[Matt Rogers]

You are, like, in charge of us.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. It is like. So I was trying to think of straight things. Like straight culture things. Right.

[Tom Yamas]

Has like five cameras.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, it's a Samsung Galaxy.

[Matt Rogers]

It literally does have five cameras.

[Tom Yamas]

Two of them are flashes. I'm just like, that is too many.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't know what I'm up to.

[Matt Rogers]

It looks like you don't know what I'm up against.

[Tom Yamas]

You're filming.

[Bowen Yang]

You don't know what I'm up against.

[Tom Yamas]

Independent films.

[Matt Rogers]

There's a poll at JFK airport that has truly, like, 14 surveillance cameras on it. And it looks like a commentary on the surveillance date. That's kind of what your phone is. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Stop surveilling us.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, do you have anything else to say? You mentioned Taylor Swift earlier. Do you want to say it again? Oh, you're back.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay. What. What are they?

[Bowen Yang]

I was thinking. Well, I was thinking about straight culture things, but I could only really think of examples of things that are, like, straight trying to be gay. Yes. Like straight things that are influenced by gay culture.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Like hotels.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. Based on cruising.

[Bowen Yang]

But based on. Based on cruising. Based on pied a tears.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like, well, this is better, because then you can just leave. And it's like, well, that's the. You took the fun out of a pied a terre. Like, it's straight people, you know? Okay, so, yes. Hotels, salad bar. Because salad's gay culture, but salad bar. The salad bar is like. But you can pick what you want. And you're like, you're not improving on it.

[Tom Yamas]

You wouldn't. I mean, whatever. I go on. Yep.

[Bowen Yang]

Baby carrots.

[Tom Yamas]

Right.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like. Isn't it so funny that they're, like, little? And you're like, oh, that's almost.

[Tom Yamas]

But you've never experienced happiness.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I. My favorite thing on earth is to buy baby carrots and never, ever open the bag. I'm like, oh, this is gonna be such a perf snack with hummus.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And then I just leave it there.

[Bowen Yang]

Forever until they get slimy.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And then I'm moving seven years later and I'm like, oh, I have to throw these away now.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. That's such a.

[Tom Yamas]

What are people afraid of with just buying normal carrots? I would love to know. I would really love to know. Is it the little hairs that they have?

[Matt Rogers]

It's the little hairs. It's sort of the like, well, what am I gonna do? Eat a whole carrot?

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Who has the time?

[Tom Yamas]

What if I just said, you want 25 baby carrots?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you can take as many as you want and you can put it back. The big carrot. You gotta chop it up.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, my God. I mean, there's nothing better than feeling. Chopping up a carrot and then putting the leftovers in a little Ziploc bag. Suddenly you feel like you're cooking. You feel like you're doing cottage core.

[Matt Rogers]

No. The way that I want every single thing I eat to be pre cut into miniature bites.

[Tom Yamas]

This is like not being a cook.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, I. I'm. I hate doing dishes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

So I will buy pre chopped onions.

[Tom Yamas]

Everyone hates doing that. That's not true of you being like.

[Bowen Yang]

That's not true.

[Matt Rogers]

That's not true. Some people find.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes, exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Sorry, George. This is crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

This is crazy because I've never been able to talk to this with anyone.

[Bowen Yang]

But I hate doing dishes so much that I will buy the pre chopped onions. How much do you.

[Tom Yamas]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

And David Sedaris has this thing in a book that his husband Hugh will make himself a dinner for one while he's alone. But he hates going through. He would rather like use his finger than like dirty a spoon, you know. And I feel the same.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, we've. I've gotten in some hot water before with our, with our listeners because I talked about how I used the same cup for.

[Tom Yamas]

This was actually at a live show. I don't think you've ever.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Matt Rogers]

Like, I have a water glass.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. And you keep it by the sink.

[Tom Yamas]

I just did. Gasps from the audience because you said something. You said a phrase, an adjective that I will never forget.

[Matt Rogers]

The glass gets cloudy eventually.

[Tom Yamas]

The glass gets cloudy.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, but it's my glass and it's fine.

[Bowen Yang]

How many days do you think?

[Tom Yamas]

I'm not gonna wanna know.

[Bowen Yang]

See, I probably use a water glass, like two days.

[Matt Rogers]

I'll go a little longer though.

[Tom Yamas]

Ooh, ooh. I probably use three water glasses a day.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it's my.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, I only use one.

[Matt Rogers]

My immune system is so stressful. Strong.

[Bowen Yang]

And yeah, I use one glass I keep.

[Tom Yamas]

Weren't you just in the hospital for the fifth time this calendar year?

[Matt Rogers]

That's not from immunity. That's not from an immunity bbl.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh my God. I would love it if you got a BBL and showed up to the studio.

[Matt Rogers]

That would be incredible. But yeah, I literally like, especially when we were in our apartment here. And I would never wash it. And then I would just. Like one day my cup would be missing and I'd be like, misha, where the hell's my cup? And he'd be like, well, I washed it. It's in the drying rack. And I'd be. I've been looking everywhere for it. He just surprise washes it.

[Bowen Yang]

That's. That's okay. That's okay.

[Tom Yamas]

My shock is like, wait.

[Bowen Yang]

But it gets cloudy cuz it's smudged and like lip and fingerprints all over it.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, my nightly fiber.

[Tom Yamas]

Wait, this is the other thing that I.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, you drink?

[Tom Yamas]

You literally put fiber in it, mix it, and then keep drinking water out of it without rinsing it.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it's water soluble. It gets. It dissolves. You guys are being so messed up.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm telling you, an audience of 350 people at the bell house all walked out with.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, George, it was in San Francisco.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, was it? Yeah, it was in San Francisco.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So get your facts right, because facts matter.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, I'm sorry for making you feel insecure again. Although it actually feels like you've never been more proud of yourself.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I just, you know, I know how the media is going to run with this.

[Bowen Yang]

How. How often do you do dishes?

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, once a week.

[Bowen Yang]

Same.

[Matt Rogers]

Same When I'm, like, living alone. Yeah, I do them quite rarely.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, me, too. Sometimes things really start to smell bad in my sink.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I'll also, like, if I'm doing, like, takeout lifestyle, I. Yeah, Like, I'm like, well, I didn't use a dish.

[Bowen Yang]

I'll take out lifestyle. But then I, you know, a little cereal, dessert.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, of course.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm literally turning into, like, Trey's mom from Sex and the City. I'm about to send both of you to. What is it called? Manners.

[Bowen Yang]

Manners.

[Tom Yamas]

Manners.

[Bowen Yang]

Manners Academy.

[Tom Yamas]

Manners Academy.

[Matt Rogers]

Manners Manor.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, Manners Manor. Okay, so we have baby carrots. We have hotels. And what was the third one?

[Bowen Yang]

Hold, please. Salad bar, salad bar, Salad bar.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, to me. I would like to unpack hotels a little bit more.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Okay.

[Tom Yamas]

Because you're staying in one now.

[Matt Rogers]

Actually, that's true.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Because I have a subletter now. Here. Shout out to my beautiful subletters. And I'm staying in the POD Hotel in Williamsburg. There's not a blind on one of the windows, and it's, like, facing the street. This is not part of the point. I'm just sort of painting a picture.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, I see it.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's also, like, the room. Like, whatever. I'm just, like, people on the street are seeing me naked. Anyway, who cares?

[Bowen Yang]

Who cares?

[Matt Rogers]

Whatever. New York.

[Bowen Yang]

New York.

[Matt Rogers]

Lower East Side, 1979.

[Bowen Yang]

Don't tell people where it is.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, well, it's on Metropolitan and.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, I guess. I mean. Yeah, you won't be there anymore.

[Matt Rogers]

I'll be gone by the time this comes out.

[Bowen Yang]

You'll be back.

[Matt Rogers]

That's true.

[Bowen Yang]

So you don't think hotels are. I think they're straight. Inspired by gay.

[Matt Rogers]

I think the straightness comes from the, like, sanitization of them.

[Bowen Yang]

Sure.

[Matt Rogers]

Where it's like, every room is the same, but different.

[Bowen Yang]

It's convenient.

[Matt Rogers]

It's convenient.

[Bowen Yang]

Cause then you can come and then you can leave. We'll make it easy for you.

[Matt Rogers]

They don't want to offend. Like, everything's like. This is technically a decoration, but it's not what you can mean anything.

[Bowen Yang]

You can cheat on your wife here.

[Tom Yamas]

Exactly. Well, it's based on gay. Because it's Like, a straight structure is a family home. A family suburban home. And then anything. The farther away from that you get, the gayer you get. So a hotel. You are unmoored from your biological family. You are, in fact, not in your hometown. You are a visitor transience. And then.

[Bowen Yang]

And also, like, concierge, like, that's being like, we need a gay guy to tell us where to go.

[Tom Yamas]

Totally.

[Matt Rogers]

Where's good to get Italian?

[Bowen Yang]

Hey, little queer. Yeah. Where should we get it?

[Tom Yamas]

Where good to get Italian. He's like, oh, my God, they have the best Cacio e Pepe down the street.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly. Oh, here's what you're gonna wanna do. You're gonna wanna go uptown by yourself.

[Matt Rogers]

And then they, like, walk out the door, and the dad's like, did you hear that voice?

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, we do not have that at.

[Matt Rogers]

Our house back in Batesville.

[Bowen Yang]

Batesville? Yeah, it's a small town next to Goon Town.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, my hairdresser's from Goontown. Great girl. So, yes. And then I also think the thing that makes ma is business conference culture, kind of, because conferences and business trips are sort of like the.

[Bowen Yang]

The lifeblood of straight.

[Tom Yamas]

The cruising of straight. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there is something. It's sort of like, take sexual liberation and make it depressing. And it's like two people wearing, like, a woman in a skirt suit and a man who has, like, untucked, get this. His dress shirt. And they are flirting at the little open bar. And when I say open, you get one drink for free. And after that, it's cash.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And you have to present, like, your little ticket together.

[Tom Yamas]

We're talking lanyard.

[Bowen Yang]

Lanyard. We're talking lanyard. We're talking salad bar. We're talking baby carrots on display.

[Tom Yamas]

Baby carrots.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Display. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

That type of environment, unfortunately, still speaks to me. I like, sometimes wish I could be.

[Bowen Yang]

I love hotel. Look, I love hotels.

[Matt Rogers]

You more than anyone.

[Bowen Yang]

More than anyone. I love hotels.

[Matt Rogers]

The amount you hate dishes is the amount you love.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly.

[Tom Yamas]

I mean, of course, the dream is, like, not paying. Like, if someone could pay for me to stay at a hotel.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

And I got room service, everything for free.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

You just. You don't have to. You don't have any of the responsibilities of your normal life.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Do our boutique hotels lgbtq?

[Tom Yamas]

I mean, this is complicated because boutique hotels are sort of of like anything that is kind of like gentrification adjacent. It's like, it starts out gay, and then it becomes straight. That's just for the circle of life.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

It's like saying like, our, I don't.

[Bowen Yang]

Know, boutique hotels were like gay people trying to pull it back.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bowen Yang]

And then straight people were like, this is sorry.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. They were like, sorry, we're putting a jar here.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

And also, I'm secretly Mormon.

[Bowen Yang]

Maybe not.

[Tom Yamas]

Don't you think that is like a circle? It's like you get gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, and then you go right back to mommy blogger.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

Aesthetically.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Ooh. So what do you think the next mommy is? Mommy blogger. The new aesthetic?

[Tom Yamas]

I mean, I sort of think.

[Bowen Yang]

Are you going to be seeing that on the Runway this season? Are. Let's talk. Let's talk fashion. Let's talk fashion. Fall fashion.

[Matt Rogers]

Finally.

[Bowen Yang]

What are we going to be seeing?

[Matt Rogers]

We're seeing.

[Bowen Yang]

We're singing. Mommy blogger.

[Tom Yamas]

Hobby blogger. Baby carrot.

[Bowen Yang]

Baby carrot.

[Matt Rogers]

Hybrid vehicles.

[Tom Yamas]

Hybrid vehicles.

[Bowen Yang]

Vehicles.

[Tom Yamas]

Salad bar.

[Bowen Yang]

Salad bar. We're seeing tongs from the salad bar. We are.

[Matt Rogers]

Cameras everywhere.

[Tom Yamas]

Cameras everywhere. It's commentary on surveillance. Baby carrot earrings. No clothes.

[Matt Rogers]

Walk, walk and read the Kindle while you do it.

[Bowen Yang]

And a big make it make sense neon sign in the back.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Make America make sense again.

[Tom Yamas]

Everyone holding fake protest signs like in the Kendall commercial. But they all say different Internet slang terms. It's someone holding a sign that says blur. Someone holding a sign that says the interwebs.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow. Yeah. Hashtag methinks.

[Tom Yamas]

Hashtag methinks someone painted in blood. The methinks movement is over on their bare chest.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. So what's some. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

What we're gonna see on the Runway.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, like this, for example. What's so straight? It's gonna be.

[Tom Yamas]

You're attacking me.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I'm not attacking you. I'm merely suggesting maybe it's time for you to be attacked. That so?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. What's Cole is pointing to appropriate from straight people.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Tom Yamas]

Cole is pointing to Sam's camo.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what I think it is, actually?

[Bowen Yang]

What?

[Matt Rogers]

Old Navy corps.

[Bowen Yang]

Old Navy corps is gonna be now gay.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

So you mean ill fitting jeans.

[Bowen Yang]

Polar fleece vest.

[Matt Rogers]

Polar fleece vest.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you remember that?

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Performance. Old Navy. Performance fleece. God, the 90s.

[Matt Rogers]

Can't you see the like, little like a 4th of July T shirt that's like too small.

[Tom Yamas]

Hmm. Wait, what do you mean? 4th of July T shirt?

[Matt Rogers]

American black, Old Navy. Always would put out like a yearly Fourth of July.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, I've never hear.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I would wait every day on the third of July. Just.

[Tom Yamas]

It's like when they announced the Met gala theme.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I was like, what's this year's Old Navy fourth of July tea. Ooh. Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Little like plastic flip flops.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, put that on the wrong way. Plastic babies. Beanie babies.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know, what do you think straight people are gonna or gay people are gonna propagate?

[Tom Yamas]

Okay, no, this is actually a really good question. I mean, do you think it's been long enough flip flop wise that Havaianas are gonna make an ironic.

[Matt Rogers]

What the hell is that?

[Tom Yamas]

Those. The rubber flip flops with the Brazilian flag on them, you know?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, sure. Wait, with the Brazilian flag? Yeah, that's the one with the X and the. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Wait, is this not.

[Matt Rogers]

Have I never heard of this?

[Tom Yamas]

Hold on, I'm showing everyone.

[Bowen Yang]

Maybe in Greece. Yeah, Maybe it didn't make it over here.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Tom Yamas]

This is crazy. Hold on.

[Matt Rogers]

So amazing that we're different.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, but what else I love that.

[Matt Rogers]

George, is like, talk amongst yourselves. And then we got completely.

[Tom Yamas]

You've seen these? No. These mean nothing to you?

[Bowen Yang]

Thong sandals?

[Matt Rogers]

They mean absolutely nothing to me.

[Bowen Yang]

They mean nothing to me. This is.

[Tom Yamas]

I've never.

[Bowen Yang]

I've never seen that woman in my life.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know her and I don't claim to know her.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, maybe they were completely Euro and now Americans are going to discover them.

[Bowen Yang]

20 years men's warehouse.

[Tom Yamas]

Men's Warehouse.

[Bowen Yang]

Are we going to start going there?

[Matt Rogers]

I actually, I mean, I think there's a world in which like sort of a 90s businessman suit comes back.

[Tom Yamas]

I think that's already back. I think, in fact, the issue is what's left. At some point it's gonna go back to skinny pant and I. Oh, oh, are we.

[Bowen Yang]

Are we going back?

[Tom Yamas]

Why? Because trends are so quick now. You know, you think you're safe. You think you're safe with the second.

[Bowen Yang]

I buy a pair of shoes. They're last season.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh. I toss them right in the garbage the moment I get home.

[Tom Yamas]

Remember how in Legally Blonde it literally, it hinges on the gay guy being like. Don't you.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

You know, tap your last season Prada shoes at me. And then she's like, last season Prada. Last season Prada. He's gay.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very. My cousin Vinnie.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

But they're queering of that. We've, we've, we've been through the Sopranos.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

What's a Girls.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay, here's something. What if it is like gay guys.

[Bowen Yang]

News radio.

[Tom Yamas]

Gay guys growing out their hair and having big blowouts.

[Bowen Yang]

Growing out their hair.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Like they literally have Christian woman at the club blowout.

[Bowen Yang]

This is something that John early calls TV hair. Where it's like, yes, yes. It goes down, then it's Deborah mess down. And then like five curls in front. And every woman on television has that hair.

[Tom Yamas]

So maybe the issue.

[Bowen Yang]

Maybe like next year the three of us gonna be here with that.

[Tom Yamas]

I mean, what if. I don't know. I do think that is kind of the last frontier.

[Bowen Yang]

More when we return. Yeah, sorry.

[Matt Rogers]

And we're back.

[Tom Yamas]

And we're back. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And more when we return. Is gay guys welcome back.

[Tom Yamas]

It's the only hairstyle gay guys haven't tried is Long Beach Waves.

[Bowen Yang]

Long beach waves? Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Don't you think that could be something?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think that could be something. No, I can't. I can't follow.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, that's why it's so. That's why this is where innovation is born, is you think, oh, I can't picture that at all. And then lo and behold, all of a sudden, oh, crocs. I get it. It's ironic. But they're like, cute.

[Tom Yamas]

Crocs are interesting.

[Matt Rogers]

I think it's just gonna be too hard for the upkeep. The upkeep to commit to growing your hair out. I think. You know, Know. You know, the gay guy lifestyle. So go, go, go, you know?

[Bowen Yang]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Matt Rogers]

And they just want something that's easy.

[Bowen Yang]

Messy bun.

[Matt Rogers]

They could do a messy bun.

[Tom Yamas]

I've done messy bun.

[Bowen Yang]

We've already done that Messy bun.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Tom Yamas]

It's crazy that we can't think of a single thing that's gonna be a new gay trend.

[Matt Rogers]

Somebody's gotta think of one, Cole.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, my prediction. My prediction was sideburns. Remember I said the new facial hair trend. It's the only one. We have to show you.

[Bowen Yang]

I didn't shave mine for wig.

[Tom Yamas]

I had to shave yours for a wig.

[Bowen Yang]

For a wig. But yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I thought you just had an edgy haircut.

[Bowen Yang]

I had hu burns in high school.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And blue black hair.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah. That must have been pretty.

[Bowen Yang]

I was pretty out there. I was willing to go there as a kid, you know, like, I took those risks.

[Tom Yamas]

Do you find yourself slipping into that as you're, like, doing promo for the show?

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no. Only like that character and generally like.

[Tom Yamas]

The cliches of being interviewed, just being like, you know, I knew I was fun.

[Bowen Yang]

No. Because else would. Would know that I was kidding. I see here amongst family, dare I say.

[Tom Yamas]

And you don't want to take the risk of someone thinking you're being earnest.

[Bowen Yang]

No, absolutely. Wait. I just realized. I went to the Sistine Chapel a year ago.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay.

[Bowen Yang]

To pray more on that later. But it was. I thought it was so ugly.

[Tom Yamas]

Really?

[Matt Rogers]

Oh.

[Bowen Yang]

Because they, you know, they. They cleaned it in the 90s. Yeah. Oh. And it. The now it's kind of mid century modern. Well, no, it's like 90s Italian, like New Jersey Italian restaurant.

[Tom Yamas]

Because it's too bright.

[Bowen Yang]

It's so bright. And like, see, this is why I.

[Matt Rogers]

Never wash my cup.

[Bowen Yang]

And this is why. And I realized, like, oh, that's where that aesthetic came from. From, like, 90s Italian restaurants. Because the Sistine Chapel had just been cleaned and it was, like, exciting. And so then everyone was like, let's do that in our restaurant. Restaurant.

[Matt Rogers]

90S Italian restaurants are based on the Sistine Chapel.

[Tom Yamas]

That makes sense to me.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes, that makes sense.

[Tom Yamas]

It certainly is based on.

[Bowen Yang]

Good morning. Wake up. Wake up, America. I hope you're listening.

[Matt Rogers]

Take notes.

[Bowen Yang]

Take notes. Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

This is what happens when you sleep.

[Matt Rogers]

So when you go there and you're like, this is ugly. You know, what did that feel like for you? Were you like, you know what? Good. Because church has enough as it is, or were you like, damn, I was really hoping to be moving. Moved today.

[Bowen Yang]

I was really hoping to be moved. And I'll be honest. My friend Claudia o' Doherty, who I was there with, fell asleep in the Sistine Chapel.

[Matt Rogers]

I fell asleep in the Sistine Chapel.

[Bowen Yang]

It was. It was a long.

[Tom Yamas]

You just like, sit tour.

[Bowen Yang]

You sit down.

[Matt Rogers]

You just can sit down.

[Bowen Yang]

You can sit down. And it was this long hours, long tour. It was so hot. And we were just like, okay, okay. Yes. All this stuff. All this stuff. We just want to see that damn roof, the ceiling. Okay. And we got there and it was so, like, warm.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And you're, like, up, and then you're like, okay.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Literally, we had eaten like six hot, creamy meals and just like, full of cheese.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's like at a marathon. People were just handing you cups of.

[Bowen Yang]

Warm cream, warm cheese.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, that's too bad.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's okay. I just wanted to.

[Tom Yamas]

I mean, it is tough when you build something up and then you're disappointed.

[Matt Rogers]

By it, you know? Any notes for the teen chapel workers?

[Bowen Yang]

Keep it dirty. Stop scrubbing it. Because they left a little patch dirty. To show you.

[Tom Yamas]

To show you.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, this is what it looked like. And I was like, yes, the aging. It was the filter that it needed.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, a Valencia filter.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, it was. Well, which filter would I say it.

[Tom Yamas]

Was oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. Okay. I would say New York. Honestly, put the New York filter on.

[Tom Yamas]

The New York filter on the Sistine Chapel.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it'll really, really be better. I know it's a sounds crazy, but it's time.

[Tom Yamas]

I've only lived here for three years, but I do actually feel like a New Yorker. Like to get a 99 cent slice, I'm like, okay.

[Matt Rogers]

To be fair, she's right.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. 100%.

[Bowen Yang]

I feel my family has never visited and I don't ever want them to. Because when I see people with their families, like on the train or like walking around, it's painful.

[Tom Yamas]

No. It makes me so angry.

[Bowen Yang]

Actually, it makes my heart hurt because you're immediately a child when you're showing your parents the city and you're like, this is my city, mom. Look, I just eat here every day. And it's really also, it makes you.

[Tom Yamas]

To show your surroundings to anyone. Really puts into focus how uninteresting most daily lives are. It's like you're showing someone the coffee shop where you get your coffee. A really good cortado here.

[Matt Rogers]

I like.

[Bowen Yang]

And your mom's like, my knees. Can I sit here? My knee's acting up. You're like.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, mom, me and my friends never sit.

[Bowen Yang]

Never sit. You don't sit in New York, Mom.

[Matt Rogers]

I like my parents. The first time they visited was like I was maybe 25 or something. And I like, in retrospect, am so embarrassed by the places that I was like, you have to see this.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Because it like, smack. It's like all macaroni and cheese restaurant.

[Matt Rogers]

And like being like, no, this bar is really cool.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's like, why would they ever want a bar that's like dive?

[Bowen Yang]

It just has the same feeling of like parents weekend or college.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, there's a specific time.

[Bowen Yang]

Not that I went to college, but I understand the culture I see in the film.

[Tom Yamas]

There's still time.

[Bowen Yang]

There's still. There's still time. I'm gonna get that degree.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

How about you cancel that last week of shows?

[Tom Yamas]

There is, of course, nothing more moving in terms of storylines than older woman going back to Greece.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. I mean, this is not the same thing, but Margot Martindale in Paris, Je t' aime. You know, going on that trip to Paris by herself.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, my God. I don't remember that one. I have seen Paris, je t' aime.

[Bowen Yang]

Paris, je t' aime. She's an older woman. Well, she's a woman of a certain age. She's a mail carrier at home, and she started taking French classes late in life. And then she goes. She's always wanted to go to Paris.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm gonna cry.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what, George? I feel that I owe you an apology.

[Tom Yamas]

For what?

[Matt Rogers]

Because when Cole says, you know, in J'taim, whatever I say, beautiful. But if you were to bring it up first, I would go, okay. Okay.

[Tom Yamas]

Genius of all proasia tem is like, to me, it's such a sort of like, almost embarrassing part of, like, it's.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, I only know Margot Martindale's part. Yeah, I've only seen that one clip.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it could, like, I've only seen that one clip. I don't love it.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, I'm not, like, watching. I, like, never watched.

[Tom Yamas]

Like, don't you think Parisia Tam is like, mommy blogger? Mommy blogger movie. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

That's why I think it's. That's on the Runway.

[Tom Yamas]

Margo's part in Parisia town, which we don't like, but we do know, like, John Galliano being, like, he was inspired by Marco. Marco's partner in Parisian. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Well, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

So carrot. Baby carrots.

[Bowen Yang]

Baby carrots.

[Matt Rogers]

Or hotels.

[Tom Yamas]

Or hotels. No, we're doing hotels. We're doing hotels. Okay, so, all right. We've covered conferences, we've covered cruising. We've covered home away from home. Pied a terre.

[Matt Rogers]

What?

[Bowen Yang]

We haven't covered the gay guy telling you where to go.

[Tom Yamas]

The gay guy telling you where to go.

[Matt Rogers]

We haven't covered the literal straight couple going to a hotel and instantly feeling like they're being sordid and kinky because they're not in their house.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Well. And then, of course, the disappointment that comes after that of wherever you go, there you are.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Tom Yamas]

Looking around. I guess we're actually not having sex.

[Bowen Yang]

By the way, can we talk about the Bible? Literally, the Bible in every room.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Wait, why is that?

[Tom Yamas]

That's why they started Boutique hotel, so they could put in a different book. They were like Sally Rooney. Yeah. The Bible is. I always think it's sort of charming that there are these leftover, like, Bible in a hotel room, to me, is very, like, leftover from a different era in a way that I do find charming.

[Bowen Yang]

When men held the door open. I think we're going to be seeing men holding the door open for you on the Runway this season. We're going to see hotel Bibles, Men holding the door open. Pacha e Pepe around the corner, Clean chapel ceilings.

[Tom Yamas]

Clean chapel.

[Matt Rogers]

Guys being guys.

[Tom Yamas]

Guys being guys. Falling asleep in A stunning tourist destination.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I think this is obvious. I feel that the thing that gay people are gonna appropriate is bible chain hotel aesthetic. Hilton's boutique hotels as like a fantasy is dead. We are post Instagram. This goes along with the light.

[Bowen Yang]

Now I'm like, if I'm ever on a red carpet, I'm gonna wear a dress made. You know that credit card dress.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Hilton honors card.

[Tom Yamas]

Also chic gay guys like that work in fashion. Getting married ironically in a Hilton.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, I mean like overhead lighting.

[Tom Yamas]

Hilton.

[Matt Rogers]

There's something chic about that.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Terrible carpet. Like the carpet is so over.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. What are those called? The buffet. Like the hot.

[Matt Rogers]

The hot bar.

[Bowen Yang]

The hot bars with those little toys. Porches.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. It's like chic gay guy wedding. And the food is a hot bar with like little sausage links.

[Bowen Yang]

Sausage links.

[Matt Rogers]

It's breakfast.

[Tom Yamas]

It's breakfast for dinner.

[Matt Rogers]

It's breakfast for dinner.

[Tom Yamas]

Breakfast for dinner. Hard scrambled eggs. Sausage link.

[Matt Rogers]

Wedding donuts.

[Tom Yamas]

Wedding donuts.

[Bowen Yang]

Oatmeal.

[Tom Yamas]

Oatmeal.

[Bowen Yang]

Oatmeal with all the fixings.

[Matt Rogers]

Raisins, brown sugar, Bloody Mary bot.

[Bowen Yang]

Sliced almonds.

[Tom Yamas]

1 serving Froot Loops that you take off the little cover and put milk in.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

But. But instead of Froot Loops, it's like the couple like, you know, like it's.

[Tom Yamas]

A little wedding rings.

[Bowen Yang]

Jared and Emery or whatever their names are.

[Tom Yamas]

Jared.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's funny because it's like Froot Loops.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's. There's.

[Tom Yamas]

That's hilarious.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm laughing.

[Tom Yamas]

The talk about Blur.

[Bowen Yang]

It's bring your kids.

[Tom Yamas]

Bring your kids.

[Bowen Yang]

You can bring your kids.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Which is. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

That's bold.

[Bowen Yang]

That's bold. I think that we're gonna be this season on the right. We're gonna see Bring your kids.

[Tom Yamas]

Bring your kids. Froot Loops. But they're gay. Name Emory.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

The name Emory is everywhere.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Hilton honors dirty carpet fruitless.

[Matt Rogers]

But I do, I do think there's something to this because, like, you know, we've talked about the how we're in the martini and mushed peas era and I think the next step of like what is gross that we can just pretend isn't anymore.

[Bowen Yang]

It's.

[Tom Yamas]

See, that's interesting because I think food culture. Yes. I think that's definitely one direction for the modern man. I almost think we've now gone so far in the like appropriating trashy stuff direction that being a full on pretentious little pinky finger up gay guy is going to come back.

[Bowen Yang]

But I think with an eye Towards. Remember those commercial. I keep seeing these on the algorithm. The Vienna coffee, the little powdered. Do you know what I'm talking about? The little coffee that comes in. Mom, pick me up.

[Tom Yamas]

Like, instant coffee.

[Bowen Yang]

No, wait, hold on.

[Matt Rogers]

Is this your version of whatever that sandal was.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, my God.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I'm not.

[Tom Yamas]

You know, we're all living in our social media bubbles, y' all.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm thinking, like. Like, stuff that was marketed as fancy that wasn't real. You know? Like.

[Tom Yamas]

You know what? You know what's a great example of this is the cheese vibe. Like, the. You know, those round red cheeses. Baby bell, is that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you feel like that was at some point marketed as, like, fancy?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or now we know it's like Breyers ice cream was very, like. Like, Bernadette Peters on the commercials.

[Tom Yamas]

So I guess, basically, it's sort of, like. It's sort of wasp, Upper east side WASP culture.

[Bowen Yang]

That you can get at the supermarket.

[Tom Yamas]

That you can get at the supermarket.

[Matt Rogers]

Sure.

[Bowen Yang]

Like. Like, what was that ice cream cake. Do you know what I mean? That had, like, ribbons. It was like, ribbons of ice cream. God. Now aging myself here. Now I'm aging myself here. We're gonna. This season on the Runway. Aging yourself.

[Tom Yamas]

Aging yourself. I also think no more minimal. Minimalist flatwear and silver.

[Matt Rogers]

I see what you're saying. It's sort of Capote and the swans.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes. It's this season on the Runway. Capodiums. No flat. No simple flavors.

[Bowen Yang]

Capote and the swans at the supermarket.

[Tom Yamas]

Capote and the swans at the supermarket.

[Matt Rogers]

In your ice cream box.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Or like, the fancy, like, TV dinners.

[Matt Rogers]

We want those.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, I know. Like. Like, that was like. Like, that's what. That's what we're gonna see on the Runway.

[Tom Yamas]

I mean, it stems from a conservatism because it's literally like when America. You know, in the public imagination, when America was great.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Was matter, man era.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, but this is. I. I'm even thinking of the 90s, when those things jell.

[Matt Rogers]

That's sort of.

[Tom Yamas]

They've tried that so many times, and it's not.

[Bowen Yang]

I love jello salad, though.

[Tom Yamas]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

Love it, Love it. Love the taste.

[Matt Rogers]

Is that true? Yes, I can.

[Bowen Yang]

It's just Jello and Cool Whip.

[Matt Rogers]

Is this one of your characters?

[Bowen Yang]

It's Jello and Cool Whip. I have a disgusting sweet tooth.

[Matt Rogers]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

I love ambrosia salad.

[Matt Rogers]

What's.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh. This season on the Runway. Ambrosia salad.

[Bowen Yang]

Fruit cocktail with Cool Whip. Basically.

[Matt Rogers]

Whoa.

[Bowen Yang]

And. Or. And sometimes marshmallows and shredded coconut. Some people would do, like, pistachio pudding packet. Like the powder from the pistachio pudding packet. Mix it in.

[Tom Yamas]

You know, it's always in pistachios.

[Matt Rogers]

These foods are giving.

[Bowen Yang]

You got me there.

[Matt Rogers]

They're giving Grandma.

[Bowen Yang]

I love Grandma.

[Matt Rogers]

Shout out to grandma.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, well, look. Yeah, we've figured it out.

[Matt Rogers]

So.

[Bowen Yang]

Pretty much.

[Tom Yamas]

Cole, where can people buy tickets to your play?

[Bowen Yang]

Well. Oh, Mary. Oh, Maryplay.com for the last week. Yeah, May 5th through 12th. You guys end May 12th must.

[Matt Rogers]

And May.

[Bowen Yang]

Must end May 12th.

[Tom Yamas]

To be candid, this episode will come out when it's already sold out, most likely.

[Matt Rogers]

That's true.

[Bowen Yang]

And that you don't know. Okay, that's okay.

[Matt Rogers]

That's okay. But maybe there will be one ticket.

[Tom Yamas]

There will be one ticket left. DM us. No, please don't just DM me. I can text Cole.

[Matt Rogers]

We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.

[Tom Yamas]

DM me. I can text Cole. We'll figure it out.

[Matt Rogers]

If you listen to this podcast, you.

[Tom Yamas]

Can get everything there for free.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's the street alab. Promise.

[Tom Yamas]

Cole, do you think theaters do expensive?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, but say that. But it's also expensive to make.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, okay. All right. Okay. I don't know how. Yeah, how they do it in London, then?

[Bowen Yang]

They don't pay people.

[Tom Yamas]

Well, do they pay people in New York? Not from what I've heard.

[Bowen Yang]

It depends on these damn unions.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, my God. Don't get me started.

[Matt Rogers]

Does the government help?

[Tom Yamas]

Well, I do think.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, the government subsidize in more in Europe.

[Tom Yamas]

The UK was funded by the Trump administration, correct?

[Bowen Yang]

Are we talking about that?

[Tom Yamas]

From what I remember, it was a government.

[Bowen Yang]

Why is it wrong? Like, it's not okay?

[Tom Yamas]

And you said you wanted to change it from the inside. From what I understand. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

How's that going, Ivanka? Ivanka's a friend listens. Like, she's willing to listen.

[Matt Rogers]

She gave you a lot of notes on the early versions of the show.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, she did.

[Matt Rogers]

She has a great eye.

[Bowen Yang]

She has a great eye.

[Matt Rogers]

She's like, no matter what, your politics are funny.

[Bowen Yang]

Funny People forget that about Ivanka.

[Matt Rogers]

She's funny.

[Bowen Yang]

She'll always. She's like, blerg. Like, between every scene, she's like, blerg. I'm like, okay, yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I did notice the blurg in your play, and I thought it was felt out of place. It felt out of place, but it also felt something.

[Bowen Yang]

That was an Ivanka note.

[Tom Yamas]

The rest of it had a very specific tone I recognized as quintessentially Cole.

[Matt Rogers]

Then there was that big monologue that ended with, so I guess I'm an adult.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. There was a sort of. You kept saying, should I get bangs?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

That was the punchline. I said, okay, maybe that's a premise. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, I'll never forget when Abe got shot in your play and you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yell, make it make sense. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

And then you're like, all right, well, the moments landed, next scene starts, you go. So I guess that happened. I said, okay. Like, some of this could have been.

[Bowen Yang]

Cut very long, but it gets laughs every time.

[Matt Rogers]

Look, the audience doesn't. Isn't wrong. It gets laughs. It gets laughs.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, look, I wish it were much, much cheaper to see theater, but I didn't understand the economics of, like, if a show costs.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Something, and there are only so many seats. Well, of course, I didn't realize, like.

[Tom Yamas]

No, for. The issue is not. Yes. The issue is that none of it is subsidized by the government enough. Like, in other countries. It's not that, like, people are evil and want to rob you blind.

[Bowen Yang]

Right. Although I do. You know, this is my first 10 million that I'm making from this.

[Matt Rogers]

Right, right. Congrats on that, by the way.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Off Broadway is where you go to, like, cash in. Cash in. Like, I've worked hard.

[Matt Rogers]

You've put in the time.

[Bowen Yang]

I've put in the time. I'm ready for that summer house. I'm ready for, like, first class tickets.

[Matt Rogers]

And, like, knowing that about yourself is, like, a huge part.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a huge part of Off Broadway.

[Matt Rogers]

Because, like, a lot of people, like, just don't even have the. Like, they're, like, afraid of that success.

[Bowen Yang]

Absolutely.

[Matt Rogers]

And you're just, like, running towards that success.

[Tom Yamas]

And those people go to Broadway.

[Matt Rogers]

So sad.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I feel bad for them.

[Bowen Yang]

I do, too.

[Matt Rogers]

Slop slope losers. Who's the biggest loser on Broadway?

[Bowen Yang]

Go.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Who's the biggest loser on Broadway?

[Bowen Yang]

Probably audiences.

[Tom Yamas]

Tim.

[Bowen Yang]

Tim.

[Tom Yamas]

Tim.

[Bowen Yang]

Tim.

[Tom Yamas]

Tim Gunn.

[Matt Rogers]

Gunn.

[Tom Yamas]

Gunn. Tim Gunn is the biggest loser on Broadway.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Like, so wrong. As Roxy. Like, just. Yeah. The name on everybody's lips, designers.

[Tom Yamas]

The name on everybody's lips is gonna be Roxy.

[Bowen Yang]

Really good. Okay. This season on the Runway, we're seeing Tim Gunn walking as Roxy. As Roxy.

[Tom Yamas]

This season on the Runway, we're seeing Tim Gunn walking as Roxy.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm giddy about that. I'm giddy about. That's a great.

[Tom Yamas]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

I love that.

[Tom Yamas]

Maybe this is My. Oh, Mary. Oh, Tim. Oh, Tim.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, Tim.

[Tom Yamas]

That would actually be sort of a good idea. Tim. You know, everyone loves him. America's most beloved sort of father figure. But then there's so much happening behind the scenes.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Where's that phantom thread?

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, exactly. You know, I have to say about Tim Gunn, to be serious for a second, of all these gay guys that sort of transcended and became, you know, almost like symbols for middle America, he really has it more so than any of the Queer Eye guys. Like, I really do have a deep respect for Tim Gunn. Do you not?

[Matt Rogers]

No, I think you're right.

[Tom Yamas]

Don't you think like there' actually very dignified about him?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, he has a. He knows when to pull away.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes. And he's also. You can tell he's actually pull out. He knows when to pull out, which is before he.

[Matt Rogers]

With you. He does.

[Bowen Yang]

Because.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, with you he doesn't pull out.

[Matt Rogers]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

You heard it here first.

[Tom Yamas]

This worries me.

[Bowen Yang]

After he comes.

[Tom Yamas]

This is my impression of Tim Gunn. After he comes, this worries. Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

More. More.

[Matt Rogers]

You get it from your grandma.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

This season on the Runway, pulling out.

[Bowen Yang]

We're gonna see. Pulling out. We're gonna see Tim Gunn as Roxy.

[Matt Rogers]

We're gonna see Tim Gunn held honors.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay. O Mary. Is a play huge. No, no, no. This is a.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, no, it's not.

[Tom Yamas]

It's not. It's not. It's barely a one person show. O Mary. Okay? It's on Broadway for 25 years. At this point, you're long. You know, you're living in mountain Malibu, whatever. If they've started stunt casting it like, Roxy, who is your ideal? Like, like reality star, trashy star, stunt cast for.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't watch.

[Tom Yamas]

But, but you know, it can be Pam Anderson. It can be like.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Rachel Ray. That was the first thing that came to mind. Wouldn't she perfect like her with a raspy voice like Abraham, you know?

[Matt Rogers]

Wow, Rachael Ray, that would be so amazing.

[Tom Yamas]

She would do it in those curls. Yeah, yeah. Did you see her episode of the Curse?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, the Curse.

[Tom Yamas]

She's literally. She plays herself in a very like.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no. This before.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah, no, I think it is this.

[Bowen Yang]

Season on the Runway, we're seeing Rachel Ray as herself.

[Tom Yamas]

Rachel Ray as herself on HBO's the Curse.

[Matt Rogers]

Showtime.

[Tom Yamas]

Showtime. Yeah, Showtime. Sorry. Excuse me.

[Matt Rogers]

Sorry.

[Bowen Yang]

It's okay. Is Showtime back?

[Tom Yamas]

I don't know.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know if any of them are back.

[Bowen Yang]

Is Showtime back? Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Are any of them back?

[Bowen Yang]

I'm talking to the execs right now.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, sorry.

[Bowen Yang]

I think Showtime's definitely back. I would love to work with them.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, we would love to work with Showtime, of course.

[Matt Rogers]

However, only if they're back.

[Tom Yamas]

Only if they're back. I want we go in to pitch. We're like, I want you to prove that you're back before you hear this pitch. Are you guys back? Because I'm not seeing. The numbers don't really speak for themselves.

[Bowen Yang]

Tim Gunn and Rachael Ray as Will and Grace. As Will and Grace.

[Tom Yamas]

Green lighting now. Bitch.

[Bowen Yang]

That should have been what it was. It should have been Tim Gunn and.

[Tom Yamas]

Rachel, you actually are so right in the sense that it should have been.

[Bowen Yang]

A loud party girl.

[Tom Yamas]

Loud party party girl. Raspy voice. And then, like, gay guy with trauma.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Like Tim Gunn is who the character of Will is. You know what I mean? But then, you know, NBC got involved and said, well, let's not make it too kid.

[Tom Yamas]

Let's make him a lawyer.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, exactly. Designers, Rachael Ray, now, Rachel, what exactly is this?

[Tom Yamas]

Well, Tim, it's a Jell O salad. I mean, the pilot writes evoo.

[Bowen Yang]

Yum O. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

People ask me, why do you mean extra virgin?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Tim is like, honey, I'm an extra virgin. Wait, no. Now I'm becoming Samantha. Wait, I forgot.

[Bowen Yang]

Forgot what I was doing.

[Tom Yamas]

Should we do our final segment? Wait, Cole. Any last thoughts on hotels?

[Matt Rogers]

Or baby carrots?

[Bowen Yang]

Or baby carrots. Or salad bar? I just. I really appreciate you filling out why hotels are straight. I appreciate it because I came in with an idea and I didn't know.

[Matt Rogers]

I just didn't know if it would hold water. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. That's awesome.

[Matt Rogers]

So hard.

[Tom Yamas]

It's hard.

[Matt Rogers]

It's really hard. And we put our guests through hell.

[Tom Yamas]

But we do it for you.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you. Thank you. So you can promote that last week of oh, Mary.

[Matt Rogers]

Of oh Mary.

[Bowen Yang]

Ohmarryplay.com.

[Tom Yamas]

I just checked. Zero ticket sales for that week. Zero.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, there's student rush. Or not student rush. Just rush rush.

[Matt Rogers]

We took the student out because anyone can rush.

[Bowen Yang]

Anyone can rush. Not just students.

[Matt Rogers]

Not just students.

[Bowen Yang]

This is what I tell people all the time.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like you never stop learning and you never stop rushing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly.

[Tom Yamas]

We're always on our phones.

[Matt Rogers]

So true, Rachel. Okay, well, we introduce it.

[Tom Yamas]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway, now through June 24. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills cereal, Drumstick, Frozen treats, Outshine Fruit bars Oreo cookies and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pick up or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. You know what's great about your investment account with the big guys, it's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more.

[Bowen Yang]

You can even put your cash to.

[Tom Yamas]

Work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind at public.com go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less.

[Bowen Yang]

Paid for by Public Investing Inc.

[Tom Yamas]

Member FINRA and SIPC. Full disclosures at public.com disclosures taking over the helm of NBC Nightly News, a.

[Bowen Yang]

75 year old broadcast.

[Tom Yamas]

It's a great responsibility. Good evening, I'm Tom Yamas. You have to go out there to.

[Bowen Yang]

Bring people at home.

[Matt Rogers]

Closer to the store.

[Tom Yamas]

Wildfires continue to be a threat. With that massive hurricane comes the massive response. The best reporters in our business know how to listen. And when you listen, you get the truth. For NBC News, NBC News, I'm Tom Yamas.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what we do every night.

[Matt Rogers]

NBC Nightly News with Tom Yamas.

[Bowen Yang]

Evenings on NBC.

[Tom Yamas]

Every day, our world gets a little.

[Bowen Yang]

More connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind.

[Tom Yamas]

Us to be more human.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you for calling Amic Insurance.

[Tom Yamas]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[Bowen Yang]

Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of. At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica.

[Tom Yamas]

Empathy is our best policy. Our final segment is called Shout Outs. And in this segment we pay homage to the classic straight tradition of the radio shout outs. Think Z100. You're shouting out to your squad back home. Think TRL. And you know, it's in the great tradition of this podcast, we think of them on the spot. So I'm trying to think of mine now.

[Matt Rogers]

I have one.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay, okay.

[Matt Rogers]

What's up freaks, losers and perverts around the globe? I want to give a huge shout out to hotel tv. I love the lack of choice that a hotel TV offers me. I think there's too much choice in the world. And sometimes you just want something to be like, watch this. Because you have to you that's the only way I'll find something randomly and without having it perfectly curated to my likes and wants. Last night, I, for the first time in my entire life, watched an episode of King of Queens. I would never seek this show out, no matter how much Robbie Hoffman says it's good. I don't care. And I watched one episode, and I said, yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna watch more, but I enjoyed this 20 minutes. And sometimes that's all you need when you are traveling. So you make me feel like it's the 90s. You make me feel like I'm being tied down and forced to watch something I don't necessarily want to. And you make me feel free through that restriction.

[Tom Yamas]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

That's beautiful. Thank you.

[Tom Yamas]

How was King of Queens?

[Matt Rogers]

Really good.

[Tom Yamas]

Really?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it was fine, right? I mean, it was like Leah Remini, I guess, right?

[Tom Yamas]

Well, yeah. Sort of the best you can hope for.

[Bowen Yang]

She's friends with J. Lo.

[Matt Rogers]

I was pretty impressed.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes, she is.

[Matt Rogers]

She is.

[Bowen Yang]

But you're close. Oh, you didn't know that? They're like, like.

[Tom Yamas]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, they're like, BFF childhood thing.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh.

[Tom Yamas]

It's kind of like, how.

[Bowen Yang]

Isn't there one more that's, like, in the group? Who is it?

[Tom Yamas]

Yes, but I don't remember.

[Bowen Yang]

I was about to say it's like Maz Michelle Visage.

[Tom Yamas]

Visage. Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Is that true?

[Tom Yamas]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. But it's like how Madonna and Debbie Mazar are really close friends.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Meaning no.

[Matt Rogers]

Meaning, no.

[Tom Yamas]

Meaning. Yeah, they're huge lesbians. Oh, no, they're not Sapphic. Sapphic, innit?

[Matt Rogers]

So they are, aren't.

[Tom Yamas]

They're not Sapphic.

[Bowen Yang]

No.

[Tom Yamas]

She has a hot Italian husband. Debbie does. And Madonna, you know, she's working through a lot of issues, but she's doing great on top.

[Matt Rogers]

And we support her.

[Tom Yamas]

And we support her. I would die supporting her. Okay, y' all.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I can't.

[Tom Yamas]

Okay, okay, I'm gonna do mine. I've actually already mentioned this on a Patreon, but you know what? This. I'm gonna unpay wallet for this episode exclusively. What's up, frequent travelers? Any Delta Sky Miles members, Hilton rewards. You're gonna want to hear this. If you're ever on a Delta flight, I have the plane movie for you. It's called she Came to Me, and it is starring Marisa Tomei as a tugboat captain with a sex addiction. I repeat, a tugboat captain with a sex addiction. You're wondering, is that, like, a comedic bit? Like, is it ironic? Nope. Tugboat captain. I repeat, Tugboat captain with a sex addiction. And if you think it stops there, you better believe stars Anne Hathaway as a therapist who wants to be a nun. And one of her patients is Chris Gethard. Now this movie came out, I would say last year. Not a single soul has talked about it. Written and directed by Rebecca Miller, Arthur Miller's daughter. I am telling you, get on a plane now. Book a flight. Press play on. She came to me. The message of the film is love wins. And by the end I was moved. Shout out to everyone involved.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow. They only let you watch it on planes.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes. I don't. I haven't seen it available anywhere else. I think the Miller, Arthur Miller estate has a special contract with Delta Airlines where his daughter makes movies for the Delta plus platform, actually.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, well, that's huge.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. Nothing I said is a lie.

[Matt Rogers]

I'll watch on the Delta flight back to la.

[Tom Yamas]

I think it's crazy that that movie exists as I just described it. And like it hasn't become like a meme.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, but there's so much. It's actually so sad because you know that like that's what they were almost hoping.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Or maybe they weren't.

[Tom Yamas]

No, I don't think they were. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

When they should have because then it would have gotten been bigger, you know.

[Tom Yamas]

Yes. They needed a gay guy.

[Bowen Yang]

They needed a concierge, shall we say? Oh, is he a concierge?

[Tom Yamas]

Concierge would be a beautiful name for baby boy.

[Bowen Yang]

Gay baby boy concierge.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, he recommended a few restaurants to me. Let's just say.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's just say he got us a reservation.

[Tom Yamas]

Let's say he recommended the fennel salad.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. I think. Okay. What's up, moms and dads? It's your girl here who sets her alarm clock for 6am and I would like to shout out Dove Chocolate. Dove Chocolate. A little treat. It's a little more expensive than you're gonna. Than your Hershey bar, but when you wanna treat yourself, go for Dove Chocolate.

[Tom Yamas]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Tom Yamas]

Is that the one that has little inspirational quotes or like. Little quotes? Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you feel it helps you in your day to day life to be inspired?

[Bowen Yang]

Well, when I was a kid, that was one of those things that I thought was fancy when I was 100%, like.

[Tom Yamas]

Because it's not Hershey's.

[Bowen Yang]

Because it's not Hershey's. And also the commercials worked so well. The commercials were very like the woman, like rewarding herself, like. Yeah, you know.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, no, that's. That makes sense.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

The way that women eat chocolate in media is. It's. I feel like I'm missing out on something.

[Tom Yamas]

It's done harm for generations.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

It's literally why we will never have a woman president.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, she could only come if she has a little cube of chocolate in her mouth. And it's just because this season on.

[Tom Yamas]

The Runway, a woman with a little cube of chocolate.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's just because straight men want to see women come.

[Matt Rogers]

Totally.

[Bowen Yang]

And they're just like, what if the chocolate did it for her?

[Matt Rogers]

Cause she likes the taste so much.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

She's such a bitch.

[Bowen Yang]

All day. And then she puts that little square chocolate in her mouth and she just fucking comes. Like, yeah, how about that?

[Tom Yamas]

I feel like it's almost like the opposite where it's women being like, well, he's not gonna make me cum, so I need something to make me cum.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

So is it female empowerment or disempowerment?

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a question more when we return. Yeah.

[Tom Yamas]

All right. And we'll see you next time.

[Matt Rogers]

See you next time after the break. That could be many years. All right, well, thanks for doing the pod.

[Bowen Yang]

Please. Thank you for promoting the last week of Omarryplay.

[Tom Yamas]

Yeah. So go on Omarryplay.com and Rachael Ray. Get in touch, girl.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Bye. Podcast ends now.

[Tom Yamas]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes. Episodes a month, Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for.

[Matt Rogers]

All our visual learners, free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[Tom Yamas]

Now get back to work. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno cheese crackers, Oscar Meyer lunchables and just bear chicken bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. And here we have a specimen from the early 2000s, a legacy investment. Please don't touch the exhibit, folks.

[Bowen Yang]

It could crash.

[Tom Yamas]

Ready to step out of the financial history museum? At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more.

[Bowen Yang]

You can even put your cash to.

[Tom Yamas]

Work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind. Go to public.com and fund your account in five minutes. Or less paid for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full [e-mail] disclosures you have a long.

[Bowen Yang]

List of things to deal with.

[Tom Yamas]

Check dry eye symptoms off with Refresh from Relieva PF Extra Lubricant Eye Drops. Offering an advanced formula to soothe and hydrate your dry eyes, Refresh Relieva PF Extra includes moisture locking technology that prevents further irritation and gives you lasting relief. You deserve relief from your dry eye symptoms and your eyes deserve extra. Find Refresh online or in the Eye Drop section at all major retailers. FSA and HSA eligible.

[Bowen Yang]

Does friendly help? Have a taste? If it does, it's probably like hello's Peppermint Flavored Anti Plaque and Whitening Toothpaste. Brush away plaque, show tartar who's boss and remove surface stains to naturally whiten. Hello's thoughtful and flavor forward products make brushing your teeth feel like a confetti filled bathroom dance party. So say hello to hello with the always cruelty free Never tested on Animals toothpaste that's made to spread smiles. Visit helloproducts.com and let hello add some everyday yay into your life. This is an I Heart podcast.