StraightioLab – "Burger King" w/ Maggie Winters (October 7, 2025)

Hosts: George Civeris & Sam Taggart | Guest: Maggie Winters
A Big Money Players Network & iHeartPodcasts production

Episode Overview

In this vibrant, offbeat episode, comedians and hosts George Civeris and Sam Taggart are joined by the exuberant Maggie Winters to unpack Burger King as an axis of "straight culture." The trio careen through tales of New York vs. Chicago, the churn of queer community, the oddities of trend cycles, and the lingering weirdness of themed fast food. With their trademark blend of satirical reverence and absurd digression, they take Burger King’s brand essence apart and, in the process, contemplate what it means to be “straight,” “chopped,” and “unk” in 2025.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sam's Manic Return to NYC

• [03:18] Sam describes a whirlwind trip “doing it Midwest style.” He can’t stop—eating bagels, seeing plays, and hitting up every event (“Every second is better than the second that came before it. ... At some point it will crash. Like, I think I'm literally gonna get hit by a car.” – Sam, 03:11).
• The sense of newness: Sam feels out of step with NYC’s ever-revolving gay social scene and “new gays,” leading to meditations on the churn of urban queer culture and generational succession.

2. Hosting Anxiety & Bagel Culture

• [06:57] Hilarious recounting of George’s attempt at a chill, low-key bagel brunch.
  • Black Seed Bagels botches the order, sparking comedic riffs on customer service helplessness.
  • “In today's crazy world, there is quite literally no way to get in touch with them ... they texted me a form to fill out. ... I haven't heard back since.” – George, 07:19
• The tendency to overperform domesticity is parodied: “You were like doing a character piece the whole time. It was like immersive theater. ... you just stood up. Suddenly you're like, I forgot about the cake in the oven.” – Sam, 07:53

3. On Models, Fashion, and the 'Pipeline'

• [15:31] Joking over the “model-to-teacher pipeline,” reflecting on the changing cultural capital of career-prestige, and aging in queer/gay circles.
  • “Guess what? Those models... they were models in 2012. Guess what? They are now school teachers. The Black Seed Bagels era is over.” – George, 10:50
• Maggie recounts a memorable encounter with a contestant from America’s Next Top Model: “She looks me in my eyes and goes, 'There's plus size modeling.' ... You kind of still called me beautiful. But ... you did say, like, yeah, you'll never be normal.” – Maggie, 15:48
• The skewering of fashion’s inaccessibility—NYC as the only city where going “full runway” makes sense.

4. Media, Nostalgia, and Trend Fatigue

• [25:21] The crew laments the algorithmic flattening of taste, longing for the serendipity of Blockbuster days.
  • Maggie describes introducing her nephew to quality (“I put on something else ... He's throwing a fit ... Then he starts watching ... Ponyo, and he's going, I'm actually loving this.” – Maggie, 25:21)
• Movie gaps and classic discoveries—how coming late to canonical works results in social alienation.
  • “One of the most isolating experiences is watching something that's a classic and wanting to talk ... and everyone looks at you like, you're an idiot.” – George, 29:59

5. The Pace of Slang: 'Chopped', 'Unk', and Lingua-Generational Change

• [48:53] Sam raises conspiracy theories about the weirdly rapid emergence of new lingo like “chopped” and “unk.”
  • “I feel like a new batch of slang has dropped ... not just one new word ... I think the government has put out seven new words to differentiate who is young and who is old.” – Sam, 49:38
  • “Pete Buttigieg and Chasten ... Pete would come home and ... be like, I have to come up with, like, seven new words. ... Justin's like, chop, chop. Chopped.” – Sam & Maggie, 50:19

Main Topic Segment: Burger King as the Pinnacle of Straight Culture

Introduction (Burger King vs. McDonald’s)

• [60:34] Maggie picks Burger King as her “straight topic,” describing its unapologetic simplicity and working-class ethos.
  • “Any place that's like, yeah, we have the Whopper. Like, we're just simple guys. We're just Whopper guys. ... Chicken fries. We want our protein ... we want the fries. So we're going to make them chicken fry. ... we got pie, but it’s like, kind of fucked up.” – Maggie, 60:34

The Differentiation & Existential Shrinking

• BK’s position is compared to a straight guy post–#MeToo: “You probably don’t even want me here.” – Sam, 62:13
• “King” branding is depicted as tired rather than triumphant: “It's a crown, but it is made of paper.” – George, 62:19
• BK's menu innovations (e.g. chicken fries, long chicken sandwich) seen as almost defeatist: “But in a way that's, like, uninspiring. ... The things that Burger King has are decided by ... mid tier advertising execs ... just clocking in, clocking out.” – George, 68:31

Queer/Feminine Readings of Fast Food

• McDonald’s is “girl time” (fries, Diet Coke, colorful drinks) and “community-oriented,” casting the clown as jester, Burger King as king.
• “Burger King is the king. McDonald's is the jester. Guess who's straight and who's gay?” – George, 64:00
• Maggie, unwittingly, even wears a Grimace shirt (with a knife and “Gucci” tag) during the recording—a convergence of irony and brand chaos.

BK's Un-remarkability and Ubiquity

• No one can name its signature drink or kids meal—emphasizing BK’s lack of memorable branding: “The fact that we don’t know means it hasn’t made an impact.” – George, 72:14
• BK as “asbestos”: everywhere, unremarked, a slightly melancholy relic.
• “Burger King is at hashtag restaurant.” – George, 77:35

Existential Melancholy

• BK summarized as the voice of defeated straightness—less striving, less special, almost comforted by mediocrity.
  • “Inside of us, there’s a McDonald’s and a Burger King. ... There’s a part of you that wants to strive and dream big and there’s a part of you that’s like, you piece of shit, you don’t deserve anything. And that’s the Burger King.” – Sam, 75:58

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On the random churn of NYC gay social scenes:

  • "I met many of the new gays to the point where they're not even new anymore. They're only new to me." – Sam, 05:13

• George’s hosting anxieties:

  • "In today's crazy world, there is quite literally no way to get in touch with them. ... I'm filling out the form, being like, I have people coming over in 10 minutes." – George, 07:19

• Maggie’s plus-size modeling story:

  • “She looks me in my eyes and goes, 'There's plus size modeling.'" – Maggie, 15:48

• On trend fatigue:

  • "We need to actually go into the video store. ... We go into the aisle that has...horror genre, we're like, oh, I haven't heard of this...' – George, 24:38

• Why new slang feels suspect:

  • “I think the government has put out seven new words to differentiate who is young and who is old.” – Sam, 49:39

• Burger King as heteropessimism:

  • “It's straight in like a heteropessimist way. ... a guy that's like, what is my role anymore?” – George, 63:09

• On the difference between types of fast food branding:

  • “Burger King is the king. McDonald's is the jester. Guess who's straight and who's gay?” – George, 64:00

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:10–06:56: Sam’s NYC trip, “new gays,” George’s bagel brunch disaster
• 15:31–18:17: “Model-to-teacher pipeline,” plus-size modeling, Torrid, fashion’s meaning
• 25:01–26:36: Media taste, Blockbuster & “letting algorithm not see you”
• 48:53–52:55: New lingo cycle, “chopped” and “unk,” generational anxieties
• 60:34–79:00: BURGER KING DEEP DIVE: brand malaise, comparison with McDonald’s, existential sadness
• 82:27–90:37: Shoutouts (night showers, making a loaf, writing in bars); wrap up, Maggie’s new projects

Maggie Winters' Upcoming Projects

• Podcast: Literally Life Changing with Maggie Winters
  • “It’s just about, like, things that change your life. ... I want to know: what’s something that’s literally life changing to you? And it could be like, sobriety or someone else is like a coffee.” – Maggie, 90:26
• Instagram: @saggyslinters (“Saggy with an -ie. Someone did come up to me and say, Are you sagey splinters?” – Maggie, 91:01)

Memorable Wrap-Up

The episode ends with a round of playful “shout outs” to making loaves, writing in a bar, and the transcendent beauty of (NYC) night showers. Maggie provides a recommendation: singer Aubrey Hobart’s album “Who’s the Clown”—prompting a moment of generational confusion. The hosts and Maggie wrap, bonded by their shared, ironic millennial sensibility and the subtle melancholy of being—well, chopped, unk, and perhaps a little bit BK.

“Inside all of us, there’s a McDonald’s and a Burger King. There’s a part of you that wants to strive and dream big, and there’s a part of you that’s like, you piece of shit, you don’t deserve anything. And that’s the Burger King.”
—Sam Taggart, [75:55]

Listen & Connect

• Podcast: [StraightioLab on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify]
• Follow Maggie: @saggyslinters (Instagram)
• StraightioLab Patreon & YouTube: patreon.com/stradiolab

Tone: Self-aware, satirical, sharply observant, and fondly absurd—exactly as queer culture demands.

Summary by: [Expert Podcast Summarizer AI]