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Stavros Kalkyas
This is an iheart Podcast.
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Sam Taggart
Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos, but now the Old Gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast Silver Linings with the Old Gays brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veeve Healthcare, hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to sex, love, community and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. So check out Silver Linings available on the iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Take a deep dive into the stories.
George Severis
Making the news headlines across the world. The News Agents we're not just here.
Stavros Kalkyas
To tell you what's happening, but why. From me, Emily Maitlis and me, John Sopel with Global's award winning podcast the News Agents Dropping daily covering everything you need to know about politics and current.
George Severis
Affairs and the newsagents USA.
Stavros Kalkyas
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Sam Taggart
Okay, podcast starts now.
Stavros Kalkyas
Wow.
George Severis
I have something to say. Which is. Okay, so we just got back from Chicago, Correct? Fact check.
Sam Taggart
True, True.
George Severis
And I, you know, I basically had a cold. Okay.
Sam Taggart
Okay.
George Severis
And my question is, what are the current ethics of being sick in public? Because I don't. It makes me feel crazy.
Sam Taggart
No, you're like, what is the now? If you have a cold, you're a modern day Levopher.
George Severis
If you have a cold, you're literally like in the movie Contagion. You're Gwyneth Paltrow dying on the. Like, in the middle of the street. And it's like, I just have a cold. You know why? Because I'm a woman about town and I do things. And when you do things, you get exposed to viruses. It doesn't mean you're gonna kill everyone.
Sam Taggart
No, of course. I don't know what to tell you, though.
George Severis
And then, guess what? I've been on the other side of things. I'm next to someone on the subway. They're coughing. I say arrest them.
Sam Taggart
I literally saw a man coughing today. And I said, I think I'm allowed to hurt you.
George Severis
It's true.
Sam Taggart
Literally, there was violence allowed.
George Severis
I was shooting something, and on the bus ride, one of the people that was on the bus. I'll say it. Not talent. Was coughing and sneezing the entire time and would fall asleep on the bus and then wake herself up by coughing. And the way I felt empowered to do the turnaround.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, God.
George Severis
For the entire 45 minutes of the bus ride to the set.
Sam Taggart
I think we're in a fun place with it. I think it's fun to blame people who are sick. I think it's fun to be like, this is your fault and you're a bad person.
George Severis
Totally.
Sam Taggart
I think that's always really healthy, and I think we should keep doing it. It's.
George Severis
The big question is, like, do you blame the individual or do you blame society?
Sam Taggart
Well, and it's like, what are you supposed to do? Like, you're already in Chicago. What are you gonna do?
George Severis
Right? Leave. Then I get the whole plane sick.
Sam Taggart
What are you gonna do?
George Severis
I'm doing that tomorrow. I specifically, I had, you know, I was working in my hotel room because I was like, I want to be as. You know, I was like Demi Moore in the Substance. I was like, I'm not leaving this house lest anyone see how disgusting I am.
Stavros Kalkyas
Of course.
George Severis
And I'm not as hot as the young sue, of course. And So I was in my hotel room, but then I had to check out and I had a three hour period between hotel and airport. And I was like, well, I have to go to an all day cafe in order to grain bowl. What am I, a caveman?
Sam Taggart
Of course.
George Severis
But then of course the grain bull crowd is especially. They're getting vaccinated for sport. They're waking up every day and getting vaccinating themselves like Demi Moore in the Substance. And then they're seeing me. They're like, who is this guy? Is he a swing state voter?
Sam Taggart
Yeah, you should have gone to some sort of fast food restaurant where you would have been non judged.
George Severis
Jesus Christ. That's true. Anyway, wow. So that's where I'm at. And by the way, I showed up 20 minutes late today for the third time in a row.
Sam Taggart
I do think it's actually extremely bold for you to show up 20 minutes late and be like, and I have an intro planned.
George Severis
Well, guess what? Because I was, I was like, I can't handle another failure today. Like, I was like, when we hit record, I have to be ready to go.
Sam Taggart
Of course. And you nailed it.
George Severis
Thank you.
Sam Taggart
You really powered through that.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
So anyway, go vote.
Sam Taggart
Seriously, you guys, get out there. We've got one shot at this.
George Severis
Yeah, that's right. It's the most important election of our life.
Sam Taggart
Democracy is at risk.
George Severis
Democracy is at stake.
Sam Taggart
Stake.
George Severis
It's been at risk. It's been at risk, but now it's at stake. Officially, we've been hear fearing that it's at stake. It is. Do you think. Okay, here's a question. One of the foundations. Sorry, I know, I'm.
Sam Taggart
No, you came in so hot in a way where I'm like, okay, well.
George Severis
It'S the adrenaline from being late.
Sam Taggart
I wish I had.
George Severis
You know why?
Sam Taggart
I wish I had an ounce of water.
George Severis
I was looking around, I was like, who can I blame for me being stuck on this subway? It's like, Kathy Hochul. She's not here.
Sam Taggart
I mean, you're about to get political, so it seems like you might get into that.
George Severis
No, here is my question. And then we'll bring in our guests because I actually think we need a third opinion.
Sam Taggart
Maybe even a second opinion. You're not really giving one.
George Severis
No, no, no, no. Well, I'm not. Well, yes, I would say since like 2016. To me, one of the funnier sort of jokes is to make fun of the. Like, it's to basically make fun of the idea of voting as a cure all. Okay, sure. We do that it's funny. It's, like, apolitical.
Sam Taggart
It inspired art.
George Severis
We're not actually, like, endorsing or not endorsing anything. It's just, like, a funny thing. And we're making fun of, like, you know, the sort of a woman, you know, in the Upper west side, like, shaking on her way to film forum because she thinks democracy is dying.
Stavros Kalkyas
Okay. Yeah.
George Severis
All right. So that has nothing to do, obviously, voting for Kamala Harris. It has nothing to do with our political.
Sam Taggart
We're sort of chapel roan code.
George Severis
We're chapel roan code. My question is, at what point is that, like, has it been long enough where it actually is harmful to make that joke? You know what I mean?
Sam Taggart
Oh, you mean, like, with an actual election coming up?
George Severis
Like, it's.
Sam Taggart
Is it, like, it's funny to make that joke when there's, like. When you're, like, two. Two years out, but when you're three months out?
George Severis
Yeah, I'm just, like, one month out.
Sam Taggart
When does this happen?
Stavros Kalkyas
The election's in March.
Sam Taggart
I want to say, I would love a summer election. God, that would be fun.
George Severis
Even the cause.
Sam Taggart
I don't.
George Severis
I have been struggling with. This is like. Because we don't.
Sam Taggart
No, it's literally chaperone coded because you want to be critical, but it's like. But not right now.
George Severis
And also, I'm not. We're not polit. Like, we're not political commentators, so we're not actually going to comment on politics. So all we do is make fun of people who care. And so then it's like, is that our opinion? No, we also care. We're just not publicly stating that.
Sam Taggart
Yeah, well, you just did. But I guess I'm like, I do.
George Severis
Think Horace Stavros needs to be let in.
Sam Taggart
Okay, let's just bring him in.
George Severis
The moaning and happening.
Stavros Kalkyas
I can't. I'm a very expressive guest. What do you want from me?
George Severis
Please welcome my Greek brother, Stavros Kalkyas.
Stavros Kalkyas
Thank you. And let me just say, one of the Greekest entrances I've ever seen. Literally 20 minutes late to deflect on what a piece of shit he is. Like, oh, but I have. Ugh. These things are troubling me. I have to tell you. It's classic. I've seen it every baptism.
George Severis
He's a Greek taxi driver. I saw. You know, I follow upwards of 17 Greek meme pages, and recently I saw a meme that was like. That was like, you know, I'm going to butcher it. But it was like, you know, every expert from like an elite university, like, blah, blah. And then it's like Greek taxi driver being like, let me tell you something. And it's like the archetype of the Greek taxi driver is like, you enter, you haven't even said hello. And he's like, and here's the deal with. Here's the deal with all this voting crap.
Stavros Kalkyas
Absolutely.
George Severis
Like, and especially during the Greek financial crisis, it would be like, I mean, opinions you hadn't even heard of before, for sure.
Stavros Kalkyas
Just completely off the wall.
George Severis
You wouldn't know if they were right wing or left wing.
Stavros Kalkyas
No, you really wouldn't. Yeah. But it is Greek supremacist, 100%. It's always like, well, you know, Greek people are the most superior. Like, the culture is number one. Even though we've been in decline since literally antiquity. Like, we have. We have no. Like, I mean, we won the euro in 2004. That was huge. And that's pretty much what we're hanging our hat on.
George Severis
I literally, the other day was on ebay looking up Euro 2004 jersey because I was like this. I could actually make this gay, like, with a little cutoff shorts.
Stavros Kalkyas
Absolutely.
George Severis
And what's the. Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
Like.
George Severis
Like, Zagorakis was like the team leader, I want to say.
Stavros Kalkyas
Good.
George Severis
He was a good player and I think he scored one of the winning goals. Anyway, I was like, oh, I'm going to get my Greek Euro 2004 jersey for summer 2025. It's going to be so hot.
Stavros Kalkyas
That'd be a great look.
Sam Taggart
I'm thinking ahead.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
In fall. You're thinking of summer.
Stavros Kalkyas
Okay.
George Severis
This happened when we were on Star wars podcast too. Is like the two of us teaching you about.
Stavros Kalkyas
Right.
Sam Taggart
And I just sort of sit here.
George Severis
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
You know, before we record it. I will say Stavros started talking to someone who works here. Instantly, I was like, had you guys met before? Like, they started talking about football.
Stavros Kalkyas
The New York Jets. Yes.
Sam Taggart
In a way that was like, no. There was no hello. It was just like, oh, did you hear this? And someone was like, yeah, I heard this and this.
Stavros Kalkyas
It's sort of like a. Think of it as a conversation steam room.
George Severis
You know what I mean?
Stavros Kalkyas
You guys will just jack each other off, no worries.
George Severis
You know, try to speak our language.
Stavros Kalkyas
That's sort of how we are with sports.
Sam Taggart
I literally was like the manager of the bath house being like, you guys, seriously, stop it.
George Severis
This is a gay podcast recording.
Sam Taggart
Some of us just want to sweat it out.
George Severis
Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
But, yes, I appreciate the. The deflecting of being Late with, like, complaints I've seen about public transportation.
Sam Taggart
Driver. Do you mean, like, how, like, the New York Times always goes for, like, swing state voter in a diner? Or like.
Stavros Kalkyas
No, no, no.
George Severis
The literal, literal taxi drivers in Greece, when. I mean, I used to be. I used to literally be like, I'll fucking walk on the freeway.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
To not have to get into a taxi driver. Like, you just never know what you're gonna get. And.
Stavros Kalkyas
And the language barrier doesn't stop them either. They will speak to you in broken English about how, like, Kosovars are the reason the economy actually tanked. You know what I mean? Like, they'll do some weird ethno. So they'll just. They'll be racist to a group you didn't even know existed. You know what I mean? And in a language. They'll do it in Italian. If they know five words, they will figure it out. It's tough because once Uber started, I would always pretend I look very American. Like, no one thinks I'm. So I would, like, dodge all those annoying conversations by, like, just being, you know, a fat American usually when I was in Greece. But Uber now, you know, Stavros, Greek ass name. They assume I'm Greek. And then they're just. They're going. You know, they were like, congratulations. You know, they would be like, you should bring a girl here. They're like, you know, they'll be. They'll be thrilled by Greece. She'll become your wife. But don't leave them around the other Greek guy. It's like. It's like, we will try and fuck your hypothetical girlfriend. Like, just the shit these guys say about. And they do think Greece like a magic elixir that, like, solves all your problems. And in some ways, they are right.
Sam Taggart
Sure.
Stavros Kalkyas
Because they are happier. I've thought about this. You don't. Like, no one has any money. But my. Everyone is having a much better time. They're all hanging out. They're going to the beach, the food's better. Who gives a fuck?
George Severis
No, it's incredible. Every time I go, I'm like, what the hell am I doing trying to be a standup comedian?
Stavros Kalkyas
It sucks.
George Severis
The United States.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. No, I'm ready to retire. I'm going to work hard for five more years. For real. This is a true plan.
Sam Taggart
This is your plan.
Stavros Kalkyas
And I want to hit. I want to live in Greece for four months out of the year.
George Severis
Oh, 100%.
Stavros Kalkyas
And that's the. And then, like, come here, maybe tour for three months, make all the money I Need to Greece. Come back to New York in the fall. It's very charming in the fall. You know what I mean? And then back to fuck. I want to fucking. I'm on the islands, baby.
George Severis
My grandmother lives in a one bedroom apartment in Athens. And at some point it was implied to me that when she passes, which I hope does not happen anytime soon, I would potentially inherit it. And at first I was like, had.
Stavros Kalkyas
To be on the record. You don't want her dead when it goes down.
George Severis
At first I was like, it is for taste to even mention this. Anyway, at some point, I started talking about it more and more. And then my boyfriend was like, you need to stop constantly talking about how when your grandmother dies, she's in her. She's actually doing. She's doing. Okay, fine.
Sam Taggart
How old?
George Severis
She's like in her mid-80s.
Stavros Kalkyas
Okay. Yeah, but listen, once that nine shows up, you're allowed to start taking measurements. Like, you know, you're allowed to start looking at curtains.
George Severis
She, like, helped raise me in it. So, like, she's not like, you know, a distant grandmother that, you know, I only talk to once a year. So it is especially, like, I do not want her to.
Sam Taggart
Not anytime soon.
Stavros Kalkyas
Maybe spring 2025, when that jersey comes in. Well, I'm on the opposite where it's like, I love my grandmother. She helped raise me, too. But she's 92 now and she is begging for death. She just wants it over. And I don't blame her. Every day will be worse than the last. Yeah, totally. There's no positives to being that.
George Severis
My other grandmother. So one of my grandmothers, the most positive, like, bubbly. Like, we, like, FaceTimed her into the wedding. I just got married. We FaceTimed her into the wedding, and she was, like, crying and clapping. Whatever the other one you call her, she says, hello, starts crying, and then is like, I love you, and then hangs up on you. And it's like she wants. But then she's always complaining about how we don't call her. But then when you do call her, she literally just starts crying and hangs up on you.
Stavros Kalkyas
Classic. Classic. It's so.
George Severis
And then when you're removed from that, you're like, these people are insane. And then when you go to Greece, you realize every old woman is exactly like that.
Stavros Kalkyas
She's like, every old man. I mean, my father's like. My dad complains about no calls. And it's like, you call him and he's just talking about how everything's bad and how you never call him. It's like this. It's happening right now.
George Severis
It's happening right now.
Stavros Kalkyas
We are doing the thing you complain isn't happening.
Sam Taggart
Wow. To have a dad that complains about not calling, that's such a foreign concept to me.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, guilt. Guilt. Greek guilt is a fuck. Is huge. And I do think that's one other thing. It's like every. I would say, like, 80% of ethnic groups are exactly the same. And everybody pretends like. Everyone's like, oh, we're always late, we eat a lot, we have guilt. And it's like, that is everyone. But wasps think like, that's literally.
George Severis
This is quite literally the last third of my current hour is like, that is that like, everyone is the same because everyone says they value family and food and they think they invented family. And we just like to get together and it's. It's not just family, actually. It's relatives, like, and then, well, we.
Stavros Kalkyas
Actually call our, you know, a guy I thought was my uncle wasn't even related to me. It's like, yeah, yeah. Most people are like that.
George Severis
Or people are like, you know, we call her an auntie. I'm like, I'm familiar.
Stavros Kalkyas
I do think that is probably just how much WASP culture is dominant. But it's like they are the outlier. Literally everyone else on earth behaves the exact same way.
George Severis
I think that's happening in media is you have to have a Woody Allen for every ethnic group, and the one that actually needs it is wasps. There has to be someone making an Italian show, someone making an Indian show, someone making a Jewish show. It's like, like, I want someone. I want like the Philip Roth of Watts.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a completely foreign world to me. I don't know how those people behave.
George Severis
It's insane. Like, the country clubs and like, you know, I have like a whole thing about, like, adult men wearing, like, salmon colored pants and that's like, not gay. It's like, literally part of a tradition.
Stavros Kalkyas
Sure, yeah, yeah, for sure. I'm with you.
Sam Taggart
Sure. I've dipped into this culture before.
Stavros Kalkyas
Right, True. I wouldn't say you're our closest representative. Yeah, I'm not a perfect, but you're not.
George Severis
You are Midwest rather than Northeast.
Sam Taggart
Yeah, but, you know, like, even Southern. The Southern was when it was like Midwest too, though.
Stavros Kalkyas
That is also like. It is just different types of American white people is what we're talking about. They're the only different. They're the only, like, different ones from the rest of the world. And then probably like, like China feel like China. Everyone's like, there seems to be a different vibe going on there. You know what I mean? You mean.
George Severis
Oh, culturally.
Stavros Kalkyas
Culturally, like. You know what I mean? Like, Asians probably like. Like, we don't know as much, but I'm talking like Europe, Middle East, Africa.
George Severis
Like, this is the clip, by the way.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah. We rank parts of the world, so.
George Severis
Rank, continent, level of civilization, which types.
Sam Taggart
Of people care about family.
George Severis
And which types care about education.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah.
George Severis
Because that's a real problem these days.
Stavros Kalkyas
Well, I will say that's where Greeks definitely drop off. We do not. Like, there's like, in theory, we give a fuck about education, but it's more of like, you should go to school. But it's not like, you know, my parents wanted me to be a lawyer just. Cause it felt like that's the thing you were supposed to want your kid to do.
Sam Taggart
It feels like there's an aesthetic of like studying that seems really Greek and cool. Like, it reminds me of my approach to being in college where I was like, but how amazing that I could read a poem, but I'm not gonna.
George Severis
Yeah. I mean, this was a big thing where my parents would be like, Would look down on Greek Americans. They'd be like, well, Greek Americans, you know. Yeah, second generation. Like, you need to study engineering.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
George Severis
One time my mom heard that someone studied like some program that was called, like, Russian studies or something, and she thought it was a joke. She was like, so they paid to get a degree that is not in engineering. And then she kept being like. It was like a cautionary tale where when every. When anyone got like a B plus, she'd be like, like, you're going to end up doing Russian studies.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Okay, so maybe you do have more of a. Maybe. I'm just. I always forget that my family's trash.
George Severis
No, no, it's not. But it's. It is like this. And I think it's not just with Greek people. I think it's with other cultures too. The difference between first generation and second generation.
Stavros Kalkyas
Right, right.
George Severis
Where like. Or even like my parents would be so judgmental of like, Greek families whose kids didn't speak Greek.
Stavros Kalkyas
They'd be like, that we do. That we did get. But the educate. Because I was first generation too, but yeah, my family was just like. Even in Greece, they were doing. We were just a very vul. I'm realizing how vulgar my whole family was. And like, because I met like, you know, even your family's like going to engineering, you know, talking about Going to engineering and like, we're proper. And then I met other friends, families, and I was like, wait, everybody's not like calling each other slurs and, and just grabbing their tits and be like, ah, looks like you got fatty shit. Eat all those American hot dogs, huh, little buddy? Like, that's how they would greet me off the plane, you know? And then I'm like, oh, maybe it's my family.
George Severis
The way Greek people love calling someone fat.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, yeah, like that's another international thing. I think that's another commenting on body.
George Severis
And then you hear someone who's like, it was really traumatic for me because my mom would always comment on my appearance. I'm like, honey, spend one hour with my aunts.
Stavros Kalkyas
Go visit your relatives in Greece for what you thought was going to be the funnest vacation of your life. And it's you getting bullied for the whole time, but they would still feed you. It's a very.
Sam Taggart
I mean, that's at odds with the food culture. We love food so much.
Stavros Kalkyas
And they were fatty shit too, by the way.
George Severis
Oh, on death's door.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. My uncle has had diabetes so extremely for 30 years. He should be studied. Like, he's just. He has not. It's crazy. He hasn't really suffered any adverse effects, but shout out to him, well, you.
George Severis
Know, this is the Mediterranean diet.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, just pork skewers every day. Anyway, this will become a Greek podcast. Sorry. No, no, we will steamroll you.
George Severis
I see you trying. I see you trying.
Stavros Kalkyas
Another thing.
Sam Taggart
The work I'm trying to do to be like. And how do I insert my. Cause I'm like, yeah, I'm sure you know all families fat shame.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
Well, the funny, the sort of sitcom thing would be if you finally got the courage to say something. But it was so racist. You were like, yeah, and they're also dumber, right? IQ wise. Should we do our first segment?
Sam Taggart
Sure.
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George Severis
Take a deep dive into the stories making the news headlines across the world. The News Agents we're not just here.
Stavros Kalkyas
To tell you what's happening, but why? From me, Emily Maitlis and me, John.
Sam Taggart
Sopel with Global's award winning podcast the.
Stavros Kalkyas
News Agents Dropping daily covering everything you need to know about politics and current.
George Severis
Affairs and The News Agents USA listening.
Sam Taggart
To the News Agents on America's number.
Stavros Kalkyas
One podcast network I iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search.
Commercial Announcer
The newsagents to start listening.
Sam Taggart
Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos, but now the Old Gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast Silver Linings with the Old Gays, brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veeve Healthcare. With over 300 years of experience between them, hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to love, sex, community and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. Listen to these fabulous friends swap stories exploring how queer life has evolved over the decades and the silver linings they've collected along the way. Each episode dives into hot topics from safe sex and online dating to untangling Gen Z lingo, as well as insights on how music, art and fashion show up in queer culture. So check out Silver Linings, a show about how pride ages like fine wine. Available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Stavros Kalkyas
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Stavros Kalkyas
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Sam Taggart
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Stavros Kalkyas
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Sam Taggart
Our first segment is called Straight Shooters and in this segment we're going to Ask you a series of rapid fire questions. It's basically this thing or this other thing. And the only rule is you can't ask any follow up questions or we'll scream at you.
Stavros Kalkyas
I love that dude. I'm good at that kind of stuff. I don't need to think deeply. I just go off my brain stem.
George Severis
You're speaking our language. Okay, stop. Do not disturb or smoke pot. The herb.
Stavros Kalkyas
Currently do not disturb.
Sam Taggart
Wow.
Stavros Kalkyas
Big departure for me. I'm doing a sober year. Whoa. Year.
George Severis
Put a pin on that.
Stavros Kalkyas
Put a pin on that.
Sam Taggart
Okay. Wedge salad or wedge sandal.
Stavros Kalkyas
Salad.
Sam Taggart
Wow.
George Severis
No show socks or. Oh, show cock.
Stavros Kalkyas
Probably no show socks. I'm wearing them right now and my cock's not. I don't have a show off cock.
George Severis
Sure, sure.
Stavros Kalkyas
You can't just see my cock out of context. It's going to do anything for you.
Sam Taggart
Well, context is everything. Especially this. Speaking of Agatha all along or Kamala, the stepmom.
Stavros Kalkyas
Ooh, this is a tough one. I guess I'll go Agatha. Although. Although I will say that her stepson listened to Cometown. That that was.
George Severis
Wait, whose stepson?
Stavros Kalkyas
That is like somebody like posted that like back in the day. They were like. Like, like that kid followed us. Or he probably followed Mullen. I think. I think he was a nick. A nick head. And. And then say that six weeks before the election.
Sam Taggart
This could be.
Stavros Kalkyas
I. And I just thought that was. That's really funny that it's possible that the child of the president listened to Cometown and I don't know. I. I think I just saw somebody tag. This is years ago. This when she first was running. Because we. We definitely made fun of Kamala. And I still. Whatever. But you know. Anyway. But I will go. I'm not a big Kamala. I'm not a big Kamala. I'm more of an rf. No kidding. Kidding. And so I guess I'll go Agatha because, you know, she's cool. They got a nice cast on that.
George Severis
Sure.
Sam Taggart
Great cast on that.
Stavros Kalkyas
You know what I mean? Sure. Aubrey Plaza.
George Severis
Come on.
Stavros Kalkyas
She's the best. So yeah.
George Severis
She's really having a great year.
Stavros Kalkyas
I will. Reluctantly. Even though I'm not a big Marvel guy. There's enough hot ladies that are funny. Yeah.
George Severis
Patti LuPone.
Sam Taggart
I know how much you're a shower for that.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, man. Dude, I was a little kid. There's just nothing but lupone posters.
George Severis
This is great.
Stavros Kalkyas
On my fucking bedroom is the character.
George Severis
Of like, still doesn't know he's gay at like 35. And it's like, do I fucking Bernadette Peters?
Sam Taggart
Those tits, you know, like, you gotta look.
Stavros Kalkyas
I legit thought Bernadette Peters was hot from Blazing Saddles. I literally may have beat off to that scene. So I think I am in a very interesting place where I can.
Sam Taggart
That's why you're an ally.
Stavros Kalkyas
Even gay. I can beat off to it. You know what I mean?
Sam Taggart
Even though.
Stavros Kalkyas
Because gay guys love hot ladies in the same way that if you're dumb enough, you're like, yeah, I like them too. I just want to them. I don't respect their artistry.
George Severis
Having divas but being so dumb. You don't know that it's because you're gay.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, I guess I want to her.
Sam Taggart
Well, this is like, literally how I feel about, like, lady gag, where I'm like, is anyone attracted? Like, I don't. I only know gay guys that are just standing here that I can't imagine someone thinking of her sex.
George Severis
This is also how I feel about Beyonce. Who's so, like, regal.
Stavros Kalkyas
No, Beyonce's so hot.
George Severis
She's gorgeous.
Stavros Kalkyas
Beautiful. The Lady Gaga comparison is a little truer.
George Severis
No, obviously Beyonce's beautiful, but there's something. Everyone, like, builds her up to be this deity that it's so funny to imagine some, like, random guy being like, I would fuck her.
Stavros Kalkyas
I mean, you know what I mean? That's hysterical that you guys think that. Again, I mean, not to expose myself too much, but I grew up. I grew up in the era of just beating off to music videos. Sure. You know what I mean? So it's like, I just, you know, 03 Bonnie and Clyde. She's looking pretty good in that.
George Severis
I guess that was before she became this.
Stavros Kalkyas
True. I was there.
George Severis
She's essentially like a senator now.
Stavros Kalkyas
True. I had never read, you know, senators.
George Severis
Yeah, yeah.
Sam Taggart
Gretchen Whitmer to, say, Bonnie and Clyde. And 03. To have, like, the gay guy. Encyclopedic knowledge of when things come out.
Stavros Kalkyas
But for the wrong reasons, that is. I do think why I get along with gay guys. For real. Because I do. It is like an interesting. Like, I. I am stupid enough, but I do also appreciate. Appreciate women on, Like, I respect them and want to fuck them.
George Severis
Wow.
Stavros Kalkyas
It's kind of, you know, I'm a special guy that way.
Sam Taggart
That's amazing.
George Severis
Okay, Stav. This is a non rev. Our friend Julio. The woke mind virus. Or the joke. Is that the fondest papyrus?
Stavros Kalkyas
Joking. That's the fondest papyrus. Okay.
Sam Taggart
A psychopath or a cycling path.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, cycling path.
George Severis
Being addicted to your phone. Being evicted from your home or being afflicted with a syndrome.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, I guess. Phone. Okay.
Sam Taggart
And an ingrown toenail or an outgoing voicemail.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, outgoing voicemail.
Sam Taggart
No, that's good. Wow, that was some groundbreaking stuff.
George Severis
So, you know, we rank our guest performance on a scale of 0 to 1000 doves. It's named after Lady Gaga song 1000 Doves.
Stavros Kalkyas
See, that's where my knowledge falls off. Yeah. Yeah.
George Severis
That was a deep cut in an already unpopular album.
Sam Taggart
Hey, hey, hey.
Stavros Kalkyas
No, it was popular.
Sam Taggart
It was very popular.
George Severis
Have you seen Joker 2?
Stavros Kalkyas
Not yet. I am pumped at how much people hated that.
Sam Taggart
It's crazy.
Stavros Kalkyas
I'm scared.
George Severis
We were just talking about this in Chicago. We didn't expect for it to just not go anywhere. We thought either it would be really good or at least really critically acclaimed like Joker was, or such a flop that it would be funny, but it's sort of just like, oh, no. Where is it?
Sam Taggart
Where is it?
Stavros Kalkyas
See? Okay, this is how much I love. I love shit that sucks so much that I actually. It's a fucked up. Cause it's fucked up that the fact that it's not for most people, it's not so bad. It's good. Means that it's so actually bad that to me, it's so bad it's good. Like, I love. I can't wait. I can't wait to see it now in a way that I wasn't feeling before. Because I want to be like, mm. I want to, like. I want to feel 40 minutes of nothing.
George Severis
That's how we felt about Madame Web.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, we loved Madame Web.
Sam Taggart
Yes, well, Madame. But Madame Web was funny.
Stavros Kalkyas
That got the show bad. It's good.
Sam Taggart
This will get. This is like, boring.
Stavros Kalkyas
But because. But there's something. Yeah, there's something. I've warped my brain so much to ironically love shit.
Sam Taggart
No, it's tough.
Stavros Kalkyas
Even Madame Web was good. But it's surface level bad. It's like there's like, levels of being a hater. It's esoteric hater.
George Severis
By the way, this is also you being a gay guy.
Sam Taggart
No, it's a gay guy.
George Severis
You're looking for the camp element. You're like, this is not bad enough.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
George Severis
Why isn't her wig worse?
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Absolutely.
Sam Taggart
I found myself last night reminiscing about. Cause I love things that suck and especially bars. When a bar is bad, I'm in heaven. And I used to love this bar called Love Gun that was started by Anderson Cooper's husband.
Stavros Kalkyas
Hell, yeah. And it was in named after a Kiss song. That's a Kiss song. Love Gun.
George Severis
Was he married? Did he get divorced?
Sam Taggart
Did they get divorced? I don't know.
George Severis
I just think of him as a single dad. That's why he's so inspirational to me.
Stavros Kalkyas
Of course. Yeah, Yeah. A single dad that is descended from the Vanderbilts.
Sam Taggart
This was like 10 years ago.
George Severis
Okay. Okay.
Sam Taggart
And truly, they, like, Williamsburg was not ready for like a dancey place yet. And they shipped gay guys in from Hell's Kitchen.
Stavros Kalkyas
The first shuttle.
Sam Taggart
They fully had a shuttle. And everyone that actually lived around the bar was like, well, I will never go to this. So two weeks later, completely empty. And I was like, this is my fucking spot.
Stavros Kalkyas
That does sound awesome. Yeah. A gay dance bar that flopped is awesome.
Sam Taggart
Truly. Zero people in attendance. The bartenders change the price of drinks every day because no one's there.
George Severis
They like a terrible bar. And also, it's the best for having like a birthday party or something. You're like, we're gonna take over.
Sam Taggart
It's heaven.
George Severis
It's my stage.
Sam Taggart
Yeah. I was genuinely sad when it closed, but it was like, of course it closed.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
I can't have a private club.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Yeah. Ye. But it was nice while it lasted. Of course.
Sam Taggart
God, I miss it.
George Severis
So we rank from 0 to 1000 doves. I think your performance was incredible.
Stavros Kalkyas
Thank you.
George Severis
I actually really like that at some. You were being like, fast, fast, fast. And at some point you got really. You started like, analyzing the.
Sam Taggart
There were some asides and there were.
Stavros Kalkyas
Some tasteful sides, but we couldn't go overboard.
George Severis
We couldn't go overboard.
Stavros Kalkyas
Some people go lightning round. We had to get in the light. The lightning round is part of it too, of course. Sometimes you have to, you know.
George Severis
And you did it like right in the middle. You were like, it's time for a intermission.
Stavros Kalkyas
Thank you. Wow. I appreciate it, guys.
Sam Taggart
972 doses.
Stavros Kalkyas
That feels really good.
Sam Taggart
So wait, tell us about your sober year. How when did it start?
Stavros Kalkyas
I turned 35 in February.
Sam Taggart
Okay.
Stavros Kalkyas
So I mean, I'm about eight months in. Okay.
George Severis
Sober from everything.
Stavros Kalkyas
Everything pretty. I mean, like, just. Boo. Yeah. Booze, pill. I mean, I was just getting really up and being very unhealthy for the last. Before this year, the last, I guess, three years, I just had like kind of a never ending. Once the pandemic ended, it was just a bender.
Sam Taggart
Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
And I got so fucked up. And so, like, I. I just felt so horrible. And it was like my life was going better. Like, that was a fucked up thing. It's like I was not feeling any consequences except my health. Yeah. And then. And I could have kept going. Like, they would have let me keep touring until I died, but I was like, you know what? What? I. I don't want to, like, I don't. I don't want to be, like, scared, you know what I mean? Like, because I'm just eating so much and it was like my blood was just always like pork fat, dick pills, edibles, Vicodin, you know what I mean? I was like, I gotta fucking chill out. And you.
George Severis
Cold turkey.
Stavros Kalkyas
All of it. Pretty much. And the weed was the hardest thing. Cause I was so that was my main. I mean, food was the hardest. And it still is still the hardest. But that's kind of a.
Sam Taggart
Well, you gotta eat.
Stavros Kalkyas
You gotta eat. Unfortunately, in a very fucked up way. I would love to be able to take soylent pills and not have to do it.
Sam Taggart
That's all I want.
George Severis
But, yeah, literally the only joy in life is ordering one meal a week.
Sam Taggart
That's all I want.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
George Severis
This is one of our biggest differences. I love restaurants, and you do not give a about them.
Stavros Kalkyas
You don't. You don't like restaurants.
Sam Taggart
I mean, I like them, but I'm like, I don't want to have to go to them all the time.
George Severis
I book. When we were in Chicago, in your.
Stavros Kalkyas
Perfect world, how many times a week are you at a restaurant?
George Severis
Well, so it's funny you asked that. My partner is a restaurant critic.
Stavros Kalkyas
Oh, hell.
George Severis
So he literally, his job is going constantly and I had to like, put my. I was like, I have to go once a week, otherwise it'll lose its magic.
Stavros Kalkyas
Sure. For me, I get that.
George Severis
I know everyone at home is like, wow, he's so brave.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
But anyway. But I mean, that, that has only been going on for like six months. He was. That wasn't always a job. But before that, like, yeah, I would say a really nice restaurant meal once a week keeps me.
Stavros Kalkyas
I'm with you. Yeah, I like that.
George Severis
And I like cooking. I don't want. I'm not one of these people that like, every night wants to order a different kind of take. Yeah, like, I enjoy cooking. I like the bait. Like, I like Greek food, I like home cooked food. But like, I mean, I'm going to a restaurant, ordering a martini, then ordering appetizers, pasta, burgers.
Sam Taggart
It's fun. Especially as I've gotten older, I'm starting to appreciate it more.
Stavros Kalkyas
Well, as you've gotten older, it replaces getting up with your friends. You know what I mean? Like, now it's like, let's actually catch up. We don't see each other. Right. Like. And you don't want to be hungover anymore. Like, that was another brutal. That's probably why I went. More weed than booze. Yeah. It's like the hangovers were getting brutal. Especially when you're unhealthy. Yeah. And. And yeah. It's just a fun. I'm with you. I, like, in a perfect world, once a week and you get to see friends. Totally is incredible. But there is something to. I'm trying to get. So the sober has been fine. And then, like, I'm trying to get. Like, I'm just eating regular, just in a routine. But we were talking a little bit. You know, we had some time before the podcast started. Me and said.
George Severis
Right. Because I was late.
Stavros Kalkyas
20 minutes.
Sam Taggart
About 20 minutes.
Stavros Kalkyas
Whatever.
George Severis
Guess what? If I hadn't been late, we wouldn't have gotten that amazing intro. What would you guys have talked about?
Sam Taggart
Kind of a tight schedule today.
Stavros Kalkyas
And, you know, but I was.
George Severis
My process.
Stavros Kalkyas
I was saying that now because I was. I was basically just hanging out. I also, like, took touring off, so I didn't tour at all. And I just. I acted in a couple things. Things. But there was not. My schedule was pretty much just wake up, go for, like, nice little long walks, go to the farmer's market, cook, you know, grill out. Like, I was having such a healthy, incredible. And I was, like, dropping weight and feeling good and, like, feeling creative. And then I came back and I was like, all right. And I started doing standup again three weeks ago, and my life has instantly fallen apart.
Sam Taggart
Oh, no.
Stavros Kalkyas
Like, I've instant. I mean, it's not just that. It's like. Like, we're shooting tires. I have a indie movie. Let's start a cult coming out. Which people. Please come. You know, Please.
George Severis
Oh, yes. Thank you for promoting.
Sam Taggart
Thank you.
George Severis
Not. Astrid, a single time before you got.
Sam Taggart
Here, I did actually get this information and forgot to say it.
Stavros Kalkyas
No, I forgot, too. We were into this zone. I would prefer talking about fucking Patti LuPone over promoting as well. But. Yeah. And so I have to. I just did either. I'm a man of extremes, is what I'm realizing. And, like, I went from doing nothing to doing. Doing four things. And there's no. And I could stay sober. I haven't. Even though I've wanted to get up when I feel the stress. That's been fine. But the first thing that goes is eating like, a. Like and it hasn't gotten too bad. I'm still in that phrase phase where you, you're still trying to create something unhealthy out of your healthy ingredients. So I'm like putting like mashing like protein bars into Halo top and you know what I mean, like fucking mixing it up, pretending it's a DQ blizzard, you know, and putting a little bit of peanut butter. But my demons are doing push ups, getting ready for that first seamless order. You know what I mean? They're getting ready.
George Severis
Crazy how easy it is for good habits to just.
Stavros Kalkyas
So fast. So fast. I worked hard as fuck for like six months and it took two weeks of like just being sort of stressed out and, and like just not even just having to have a schedule. Yeah, I was like, fuck, I got to eat. Well, that got to eat.
George Severis
The other thing is like when you develop good habits, when you're unemployed, this happened to me too because I like was unemployed for an extended period of time and then got a job. I was like, oh. So it wasn't that I was like becoming a better person. It was that like the only way to not be suicidal was to go to the gym because my career was in the tracks.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the Greek mindset. We're not meant to work. No. We're meant to philosophize and have.
George Severis
And have.
Sam Taggart
You're doing that thing where you say this is a cultural thing. I'm not meant to work either.
Stavros Kalkyas
No, I'm not meant to work either. You wouldn't be able to hang out the way we could hang out. I promise that's the thing. I could do nothing forever and I would be fine.
George Severis
But not just nothing. The more, the more we do nothing, the more entitled we feel to be prescriptive of everyone else's behavior. It's like we gain power through lethargy. Like we're just like having like. It's like you're sitting at a cafe, you're having coffee in the morning Uzo.
Stavros Kalkyas
And October four hour coffee, by the way.
George Severis
Four hour coffee, four hour Uzo.
Stavros Kalkyas
You would start shaking it. Two and a half hours. I'm just getting started. I'm feeling two and a half hours.
George Severis
They're also pumping themselves up with caffeine. You're like, how are all?
Stavros Kalkyas
And maybe take a nap. You drink coffee for four hours, do nothing all day. And then you're like, ah, the sun's out, the sun's at its highest point. Time to nap. And then they get up and have dinner at 11pm Wake up after that.
George Severis
To Suvlak, then go to the beach.
Stavros Kalkyas
But go to the beach from. From like 6:15 to 6:45 just to get the salt in, you know what I mean? The sun's going down.
George Severis
They got it all during that half hour. Like, God, Greece is the most beautiful.
Stavros Kalkyas
Country in the world. Yeah. Oh, I wish, man. One day. One day I'll get there.
Sam Taggart
I do think I like not working, of course, but I don't like. I actually do get very annoyed when a country has a relaxed service industry.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, we got that.
Sam Taggart
I go buck. I get, like, mad in a way that is, like, unnatural that you gotta.
Stavros Kalkyas
You gotta solve that, brother.
George Severis
I get upset when America has a bat.
Stavros Kalkyas
Like, true.
George Severis
Because when I'm in America, I'm like, okay, so we're not having fun here. Like, we're expected to literally kill ourselves to, you know, have health care.
Stavros Kalkyas
Y.
George Severis
So I'm going to get that latte in time.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yes. Yeah.
George Severis
Like in Greece, I'm like, all right. There's a give and take. Like, we're all chilling.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, I. I'm. That's fully how I feel.
George Severis
Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
And that's. Yeah, you're just chilling. That's what you have to, you know. Yes. The meal ends. Put another 40 minutes until you get the bill. Minimum. Minimum.
George Severis
My favorite is especially growing up.
Stavros Kalkyas
Like, we've done it again, by the way, so.
George Severis
Yeah, no, of course, of course. One more point.
Stavros Kalkyas
And then we're trying to fight.
Sam Taggart
And you guys were like, no, no.
George Severis
So let's say you go to a restaurant, okay. And you're like, how. You know, when's the next table for six gonna be available? The waitress will be like, well, you know, they just finished dessert, so, you know, they're gonna have. Wanna have a cigarette. So probably 45 minutes.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, that's awesome.
George Severis
Speaking of chilling.
Sam Taggart
Speaking of chilling, should we get into the topic?
Stavros Kalkyas
Let's get into the topic. Yeah, let's do it.
Sam Taggart
And, yeah, please tell us what your topic is and what is straight about it to you.
Stavros Kalkyas
Well, my topic is the man cave, the concept of the man, which is an incredible. It is one of the. It's one of these things that I do, in theory, think is awesome, but it also is, like, proof at how much so many straight couples just hate each other. You know what I mean? It's like one of the most clear, like, oh, you need a completely separate space that your wife is not allowed to ever go into to have a good time. Which is so. It's like. But the elements of the man Cave are incredible. Big ass tv, comfortable fucking chairs, a little mini fridge. You know what I mean?
Sam Taggart
Mean, with the ugliest decor you could ever imagine.
Stavros Kalkyas
Well, I see my man cave is more of a woodsy feel, more cabiny.
Sam Taggart
Oh, that's sort of my entire decor style.
Stavros Kalkyas
But you know what I mean, like, that, like, kind of feels like the den or like actual room. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so I love every element of the man cave. So that's why I just thought it was a very interesting topic for. As a straight topic. Because it's good, I think, in theory. But it also just shows how much, like, you know, just so many couples in America, Haiti, truly despise each other.
Sam Taggart
I do think there's something like the despising is a very smart point. And I even think, like, culturally, I'm like, oh, I think I see you saying that. I'm like, I see the value in it right this second. Because straight couples can't have conversations. Really. Like, they can't be like. They can't be like, hey, I need some space tonight. So you have to be like, I have to build a new house.
George Severis
So much of tradition, so many traditions are like. Or it's like, the woman will have girls night. And she's like, well, it's sacred. Once a month we go and get trash. And it's margarita night. It's like, and if I don't do.
Stavros Kalkyas
That, I'll fucking kill him.
George Severis
They each, like, the language of marriage is so prison. Like, we need. If she doesn't get her break, she'll snap. And if he doesn't get his break, he'll snap.
Sam Taggart
And one does need a break. One does need, like, alone time to feel some autonomy.
George Severis
Sure, sure, sure.
Sam Taggart
But there's also, like, you could just. You don't have to have it be like, I have to do my girls night or I have to have a man cake.
George Severis
It's this organic thing. Like, in the perfect relationship, it's just like, everyone sort of knows, like, oh, I see what, I'm watching something. My show in the living room, which he doesn't like. And I know that we have slightly different tastes, so he's just sort of like, quietly gonna go to the bedroom and be on his laptop and that's not a big deal.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or even like, just go outside, go for a walk, go for a drink with a friend or whatever.
George Severis
Exactly.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yes. In a perfect world. But yet you have. You can't have have. You can't play it by ear. It has to almost be written into the constitution of the marriage. It's like, you are not allowed in here. You know what I mean?
Sam Taggart
Yeah. It's very. Not improv based.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Yeah. But I do. Having said that, I love. I do want a huge tv.
George Severis
Sure.
Stavros Kalkyas
And a fucking, like, comfy ass ergonomic chair and a mini fridge. And like, just that stuff, to me is important. And so it's like I've tried to. To just kind of sprinkle it into just the decor of a regular house, to just make it so it's like, yeah, this. There are things to learn from the man cave, is my point. Of course. You know what I mean? The comfort, the abs, Comfort above all else.
Sam Taggart
Well, and this is part of what's straight about it too, is it is like a little boy's dream of what.
Stavros Kalkyas
His house is, 100%.
Sam Taggart
And it's like, you know, women have to grow up, whereas.
Stavros Kalkyas
Well, that's one of the main voices.
George Severis
Between men and women.
Stavros Kalkyas
Absolutely.
George Severis
As what's her name said, Dua Lipa said, boys will be boys, but girls will be women.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
So. Well, the other thing is, you know, part of decor is expressing yourself to the world. It's where you welcome guests. It's where it's how people see, like, oh, this is what this couple's all about. But the thing about a man cave is, like, it's the man's biggest dream. Cause you don't have to show it. Like, it's like, my little secret. I don't have to put a little throw.
Sam Taggart
It's a lack of money.
George Severis
If I spill beer on the couch, I'm leaving it there.
Stavros Kalkyas
Interesting. Yeah. Wow. But isn't it. See, but then you have your boys.
George Severis
Right.
Stavros Kalkyas
But it's the boy.
George Severis
That's right.
Stavros Kalkyas
It's for the bull. It's like being like, dude, check this out. And you might not even like some of the. I'm with you. That actually is the true platonic ideal of the man cave is no one gets to see it. You get to actually live as you are. But even the man cave is subject to the whims of the boys. You know, there is no actual. Which is.
George Severis
No, that's interesting. It's like you think you're escaping, you know, social criticism and stuff, but in fact, it's just the male version of a woman being like, well, I got the expensive dress and I hope everyone notices.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
I mean, I feel this way with, like, gay decor a lot too, where it's like, we think we're like transcending all norms. And it's like, no, we're just creating the new gay norm which will become.
George Severis
The new straight norms in approximately 25 years.
Stavros Kalkyas
Sure. Because all of our houses are.
Sam Taggart
Are, like, quirky in the same ways. And, like, we all have, like, give.
Stavros Kalkyas
Me some examples here. So I can steal. So I can be ahead of the straight curve and just kind of steal immediately.
George Severis
Let's see. Well, you know, a big thing is vintage versus new. I feel like. Yeah, finding good vintage finds is a huge part of gate.
Stavros Kalkyas
And that's big pieces. You want big vintage pieces or do you want, like, accent vintage?
George Severis
I would say. I would say couch. Well, couch. We got a vintage couch once, and it was stunning, but it was so uncomfortable we had to return it.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an issue. But I definitely think that's where I draw the line. I can. The couch. Although that's having become a chair for me, guy. Right. Because I bought a. I bought a chair because I was, like, watching so much one time I threw my back out because I watched television for 10 straight hours, and I was like, I need a special chair for this. I like that.
George Severis
That is the conclusion. Like, wait a minute. I need a special chair for this.
Stavros Kalkyas
Sometimes you're gonna want to watch four movies, George. You know that?
George Severis
Oh, anyway, it was movies.
Stavros Kalkyas
It was movies.
George Severis
Well, that I respect. I think more people should be watching four movies rather than spending 10 hours watching love is Blind.
Sam Taggart
Oh, enough judgment.
Stavros Kalkyas
And obviously, sports is the other one. I can really crank a sports day. But a sports day, to me includes grilling. It includes getting up, getting a fucking little bevy. You're actually moving a little bit. You're tense. If it's your team, I'm fucking pacing around. So it actually is movies. To me, that's the biggest. Biggest. I can just sit in front of the TV for 10 hours kind of thing. But anyway, because I got. I have a. I've just become an expensive chair for me guy. I think I could maybe go couch more for the eye. But still, I just. Because comfort is such a core value of mine, I want my guests to also be incredibly comfortable. So I don't think I could do, like, a fun, you know, green couch or some shit that feels bad on your back.
George Severis
Wow, that homophobic.
Stavros Kalkyas
The delivery of that green couch or something. Just guessing, Just guessing. I've seen a couple green couches.
Sam Taggart
Yeah, I think that's the biggest. Sometimes I'm like, I'm not a real gay guy because my couch is comfortable. Like, it would Be like every, every time gay guys come over, I'm like, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Stavros Kalkyas
To provide lumbar support.
George Severis
Here's a question. What color is your couch? Currently?
Sam Taggart
I just got like a new, well, a secondhand couch of course, but it's like brown leather.
George Severis
Okay. What color is your couch?
Stavros Kalkyas
It's like a gray.
George Severis
Exactly. So the one of the big things is, I feel like the one color a couch, a gay couch can't be is gray.
Stavros Kalkyas
Interesting.
George Severis
Specifically a darker gray. There's something you can do with a more like not silver. What's the word I'm looking for? Like a more like a light gray that's almost in jewel.
Sam Taggart
Sure, sure.
George Severis
Jewel, like. But all straight men gravitate towards dark gray couches.
Stavros Kalkyas
Interesting.
George Severis
And there's something so like dorm and teen.
Stavros Kalkyas
Well, that's what, so what, what my couch is, is so I've, I've been in the same apartment for 10 years now. I moved to Queens with, I moved into a three bedroom with three of my friends. So there's four of us. And our first couch was I, I, I was subletting a place and my bed was a gray IKEA couch that I. There was a pullout and I was like, hey guys, they said I could have the couch. Yeah, should this be our couch? And so we just all got used to a gray couch in that corner. And then now I got. And then, you know, here 10 years later, it's just me. Right? So it's like everything is just a much better version of the IKEA stuff I have. Like, it is expensive, it is nice. Like it actually does look nice, but it is the best version of that IKEA cat. It's like a, fuck, I don't know, room and board or some shit. And it's like, but it is a gray big ass sectional. 4 half all, like all my. It's such a big ass couch. Me and like my four best friends who are huge men can all fit into it. It's comfortable again, above all else.
George Severis
So by the way, we have a riverboard sectional so we can find common ground.
Stavros Kalkyas
There we go. And you know what I just realized? I have in Baltimore. So in New York I have a great couch. But Baltimore, I have a place and we wanted to feel like a vacation home. So I do have, it's kind of, it is actually, actually maybe I was sending shots of myself. It is kind of green. It's like more blue. It's like an aquamarine. But it was like, but the idea was like, you know, vacation home in Baltimore. Kind of thing. So. But I guess I was thinking vintage, high back, weird shape, green couch.
George Severis
I do think though, that, like, for straight men, they think neutral is gray, and for gay men, they think neutral is the beige. Brown. Yeah, like spectrum. Like, it's interesting.
Stavros Kalkyas
You're right. You're absolutely correct.
Sam Taggart
I'm loving the theory. This is great.
George Severis
I do.
Stavros Kalkyas
And I think, I think beige is kind of a choice. Exactly.
George Severis
Both of them want the same thing, which is like neutrals. So that then on top of that, you can have a fun poster, you can have a fun frame thing, you can have a fun pillow. And so the goal is the same. But this is, you know, their mind works in different ways. Where straight men are just like, all right, so like a sort of T shirt material, dark gray.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yep.
Sam Taggart
This is maybe now that there's a straight guy on the podcast.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
I'm like, questioning my judgment.
Stavros Kalkyas
Let's chat.
Sam Taggart
But there is something where I'm like, I sometimes think straight men's decor is informed by, like, this is a placeholder until wife gets here. Because wife will do everything.
George Severis
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
See, I guess, I mean. Yes. I just am not that, like, I, who know the wife is not on the horizon. I have had. I'm a more of a Peter Pan straight guy that can't even fathom, like, having a family and responsibilities.
Sam Taggart
So I do again, gay coded.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And so I. And I just want to be the kind of person who has some type of taste. You know what I mean? Like, I want to. I don't want. I want. When a woman comes into my life, I want there to be like an argument over how things look. I don't want to.
Sam Taggart
Cause you like.
George Severis
But that's like the classic bachelor mentality is like. And that's what. That's where, you know, the sort of more sophisticated version of man cave, which is bachelor pad, comes in a man that has decided, I'm going to have taste.
Stavros Kalkyas
Okay, wait. Because that's what I'm working on right now. I'm like, I got. Rugs were a big thing that I got into. Like, because my mom also grew up. When I was growing up, my mom was repairing, like, Persian oriental rugs. That was her gig. She was a waitress in a Greek restaurant and she would repair rugs. So I spent a lot of my time as a little kid just like running around this antique rug store. So I really do like those aesthetics. And I bought a bunch of nice rugs for my place. And now I'm trying To get into fucking art. But it's like, I don't know where to buy it. It's hard. You know what I mean? Like, where do I do it?
Sam Taggart
Well, one thing that this is making me think is that, like, you know, like peacocking, like when like peacocks, like, have the big feathers to attract mates. Like, do straight men that want a wife actively not develop taste to show that they're open to a partner?
Stavros Kalkyas
Reverse peacock. Because you guys are right. I know you said that. And I know a few guys that it's like their wife will come in when they find one and just absolutely everything is just the nicest thing they sell at Target is what their house looks like, and they're just ready for a woman to just tell them how to fucking.
George Severis
No, the placeholder thing really is.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reverse peacock.
Sam Taggart
Reverse peacocking.
Stavros Kalkyas
Because there is. I have. There's definitely certain things that I like. My big ass chair. And then maybe to come back around to the man cave situation, I don't want to live, you know, when I find a relationship, I don't want to be sequestered to the man cave. So I'm trying to figure out a way to sort of make man cave. The necessary man cave elements. I'm trying to fold them into a reasonable living room.
George Severis
So that's a bachelor pad then.
Stavros Kalkyas
Okay.
George Severis
Don't you think? No, maybe I sort of think like when you like a man cave is for a bachelor pad is making a man cave presentable and hospitable to other points.
Stavros Kalkyas
It's suburban. A man cave is way more like suburban exurbs. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Whereas like. Like, for example, instead of a big ass recliner, it is an expensive, like fucking Norwegian chair.
George Severis
Chair.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, something like that. But that is just as comfortable. And instead of a huge tv, I have a fucking projector. All of a sudden. Projector. It's like, ooh, we're in a movie theater. It's still just 100 inch television. Yeah, I still watch, but, you know, it's like a woman sees like a frame and it's like, what's that? And then you fucking. A projector starts up and it's like, wow, this guy's fucking. Yeah, he's a film. He's a fucking, you know, a cinephile. You know, I'm usually watching sports on it, but that doesn't. Nobody needs to know that. You know what I mean? I'm watching.
George Severis
Yourself short, you're watching four movies in a.
Stavros Kalkyas
That's once a month. Developing. Yeah. Yeah.
George Severis
Developing an illness because my back is.
Stavros Kalkyas
Still kind of fucked up from it.
Sam Taggart
But damn.
Stavros Kalkyas
But yeah. Anyway, so that's. But I. The bachelor. Anyway, the. I didn't think about the bachelor pad as a. And maybe I say this now because I am a bachelor, but maybe inevitably, I will just end up with a man cave. Maybe I'm fighting. I'm fighting.
Sam Taggart
I wonder. I mean, we'll see. Hopefully, you know, when you find the one, maybe you're perfect. Aesthetics will match. And they're on a masculine and feminine.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, I think so. You do? I recently realized that when people want to get married, they are not thinking of a bad marriage. Like, I couldn't understand why. You know what I mean? Like, I. Until this year, I was like, I don't get it.
George Severis
Why would I want that?
Stavros Kalkyas
Everybody's parents that I knew hated each other, got divorced, cheated on each other, and then I. I realized, wait, they're not imagining that. They're just imagining. I want to be with the person who loves me the most and cares for me. And it's like, oh, wait, yeah, that would be fucking awesome if you find someone that's perfect for you. I think it's a little naive. Whatever.
George Severis
I mean, it's the biggest denial of reality.
Sam Taggart
That's why you have to have a little cynicism.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Yeah.
George Severis
Well, it's. So it's truly like one of the last remaining like, magical thinking things we have. Like, everyone has become so cynical, and yet somehow people still believe. Believe miraculously, after so much evidence to the contrary that marriage will work.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Yeah.
Sam Taggart
It to me, literally feels like you have to, like, pay, do your hours. Like, I really felt like taking my driver's test or something where it's like, I need to get like, 72 hours before I can, like, really take this test. And it felt like I was like, I don't want to get married until we've been together for so long. And it's boring.
Stavros Kalkyas
Interesting.
Sam Taggart
So that I'm not, like, thinking about it in, like, a magical way.
Stavros Kalkyas
Right.
George Severis
Oh, sure, sure.
Stavros Kalkyas
It just makes sense at this point, which is true. Like, sometimes you just see couple. Like, I remember, I would just. You just see couples that you're like, that's never gonna work. And then just by the fact that they stay together, you inevitably get closer.
Sam Taggart
Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
And then maybe you figure maybe, like, over time, it's like, huh. I get like, they took something that had not as much natural compatibility, but over time they did actually work on it like adults and not try. And I was like, so that's also. And it's just taking me this long, I'm 35, to even consider that it might be possible.
George Severis
I actually think often people who are sort of find themselves in a position to get married and do it by default have a happier marriage than those who, like, fall deeply in love because it becomes more of, like, a business partner.
Sam Taggart
It's almost like the new, like, arranged marriage, the new self arranged.
George Severis
I mean, when I one time asked my grandmother, like, how did you and grandpa meet? And she said, you know, in that day, boys would whistle outside your window. And he was good at whistling. And then we got married a month later.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, your grandparents did a. He did a. Yeah.
George Severis
She was literally like, I. I was.
Stavros Kalkyas
He had the most incredible mating dances.
George Severis
I mean, it literally is mating.
Stavros Kalkyas
That's incredible.
George Severis
She said the boys would whistle, and he was good at whistling.
Sam Taggart
Oh, my go.
George Severis
And now you've been married for, like, seven years and have two children and.
Sam Taggart
Well, now I know she's crying on the phone all the time.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
No, but, like, the music stop.
Sam Taggart
She built a relationship around the whistle.
Stavros Kalkyas
It is true, though. It's like, the more the way, like, why are we depressed? Because, like, you're not just in a, like, scavenging berries and trying to survive. It's the same thing of, like, why, why, why aren't relationships fulfilling? It's like, because, you know, they're not like those old relationships where it's like, well, you just do get married. It's something that happens and you just, like, make. It's like, you know, you just make the best of it.
Sam Taggart
We have too much choice.
Stavros Kalkyas
Way too much choice.
George Severis
But, well, 100%.
Stavros Kalkyas
And that's. And when you were saying do your hours in a relationship, I was thinking of it the other way because I feel like I've done my hours in being single where I'm like, sure, I know this sucks. I know this is fucking horrible.
Sam Taggart
The devil you know.
Stavros Kalkyas
I know that, like, I've been destroyed. Any, like, idea of true love or, like, the people that I've really loved. It's like, oh, that didn't fucking work. And so it's like, well, you know, let's open up. Knowing how horrible this is. It's like, is marriage going to be worse than this? Probably not, honestly. Even if I'm not. Even if I'm not super compatible with someone, and I also know not to expect that level of like. But then at the same time, there's a party that's like. But maybe. You know what I mean? But maybe there is something.
Sam Taggart
No, I'm actually. I have a really similar perspective on life in general of, like, optimism through pessimism.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sam Taggart
But it's like when things are. You're like, well, everything is horrible, so maybe things will be better.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
Sam Taggart
If it sucks, that's okay. Cause this also sucks.
Stavros Kalkyas
Everything sucks.
George Severis
You guys are literally being the kid in American People beauty who thinks a plastic bag is beautiful to be there.
Sam Taggart
I do think a plastic bag is beautiful. Anyone else does, probably Jurgen Teller.
George Severis
Yeah, that's true.
Stavros Kalkyas
So true.
George Severis
So true.
Stavros Kalkyas
But anyway, so. Yeah.
Sam Taggart
Okay, well, what we haven't talked about yet, which, of course is the other side of this binary, is the she shed.
George Severis
Okay, can I say something? Never heard that term in my life.
Sam Taggart
Really?
George Severis
Is that a thing that people say?
Stavros Kalkyas
I have heard it, but it feels like one of those. More. Yeah. Like, when people say jilling off, it's like, no one says that. Just say, a girl jacked off. You know what I mean? Like, that's what it. Like, it just feels like one of those. Like, there's equivalence for everything. It's like, no, there isn't. Yeah, there's no. You know, But. But having said that, I think there's nothing. I. So I actually do think there's something cool about the idea of people having separate bedrooms and then just choosing to sleep at, like, same house, separate bedroom. So it's like a she shed. You know, that's a horrible term that doesn't really exist. But I do think, like, in a. Maybe in a healthy place, like, everyone does have their own little zone, and it's maybe less of a thing. It's just like, you just happen to get a house where, like, hey, I'm in the garage more. And you get to your office is like your essential place, and it's like, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Maybe that's the biggest problem is all these labels on these rooms in your house.
Sam Taggart
The issue is branding. The issue is branding.
Stavros Kalkyas
Of course the issue is branding.
Sam Taggart
I mean, I sort of. Right now I'm. I'm thinking about, like, okay, wait, did. Did. Is this only an invention? Because Lowe's one day was like, we gotta sell all these fucking stupid.
Stavros Kalkyas
Back.
George Severis
To, like, when was man cave invented?
Sam Taggart
Literally, when was it invented?
Stavros Kalkyas
You're right.
George Severis
Because all of these things, it probably.
Stavros Kalkyas
Is a marketing thing because they were.
Sam Taggart
Just like, we just have to sell all this stupid.
George Severis
And it's. And by the way, it's brilliant.
Sam Taggart
Well, it works.
George Severis
Because they're losing. You know, straight people would get married and then men would not have. Would not be able to buy all the things they wanted because the woman was in charge of the decor.
Stavros Kalkyas
You get a whole nother living room.
George Severis
Exactly. So, like, okay, so first of all, it's fueling the real estate market. Suddenly you need one more bedroom.
Sam Taggart
Of course.
Stavros Kalkyas
Neon beer signs. Well, of course. Through the roof.
George Severis
The way to get the economy back on track is to invent a new room that everyone has to have in their house. What could it be? And it can be queer inclusive, too.
Stavros Kalkyas
Okay, this is tough. Is it per person?
Sam Taggart
The polygon that's sort of said queer inclusive. That is where my mind went.
George Severis
Yeah, everyone needs a sex doctor.
Sam Taggart
Actually, everyone does need a sex doctor. Like, imagine if there was a room to have sex in. I bet it would be like, okay, fun. And also then when you didn't have sex in the sex room, you'd be like, we're crazy.
Stavros Kalkyas
Right? Right. Right. Isn't that your bedroom? I guess.
Sam Taggart
Yeah, but the bedroom is so, like, not sexy. It's like the bed is like, where you sleep.
Stavros Kalkyas
And what do you down the, like.
Sam Taggart
Yeah.
George Severis
Do you feel. Do you relate to the, like, trope of wanting to have sex in many different rooms in your house? I feel like that's a thing, actually. You do? Okay.
Sam Taggart
I think it's like, I do as well.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
It's a little especially.
George Severis
Okay, living room, fine.
Stavros Kalkyas
Getting sucked off in the kitchen. It's like, what the hell's going on here? It's awesome.
Sam Taggart
No, it's crazy.
George Severis
It's fun.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. It's like, this is.
Sam Taggart
Try it, Matthew. Cancel dinner plans tonight.
Stavros Kalkyas
Give it a whirl. Yeah, I think it is. Anything that's like a little, you know, that's also why I feel like people are more like, maybe this is again, a straight thing, but I feel like more adventurous on vacation. Oh, yeah, you'll do some freaky shit on vacation.
George Severis
Straight life is all about escape.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
George Severis
Do I escape to my man cave? Do I escape on vacation? Do you get a honeymoon? Like, it's like if you sit still for more than two seconds, you're like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah. Which I get.
Sam Taggart
I mean, but gay people escape too. It's just like through other parts.
George Severis
Partners.
Sam Taggart
Like.
George Severis
Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.
Stavros Kalkyas
You guys haven't figured out. You guys. It's like straight people don't. Haven't developed everything's oral tradition. There's no written language. You guys have figured out the rules. You know what I mean? Like open. Getting the. Instead of cheating. It's like, well, it's not technically cheating.
George Severis
We talk about this all the time where we have to remind ourselves that cheating is a big deal. Like when someone, you know, when like a, you know, woman friend is like, he cheated. You have to be like, oh, right.
Sam Taggart
Oh, God, kill him.
Stavros Kalkyas
That is awesome. I respect that so much.
Sam Taggart
It's the most, like, condescending gay thing when someone's like, I've been cheated on to be like, well, have you guys considered opening?
George Severis
It's so hard to get in the zone.
Stavros Kalkyas
That's fucking awesome.
Sam Taggart
It's like, just have a conversation about it.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, who cares? You just got a nut off and then everything else is fine.
Sam Taggart
Yeah, I'm sure he doesn't care about that girl.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, it's beautiful. That's a beautiful thing you guys got going on over there.
Sam Taggart
It is confusing. It's confusing too, because it is one of the things that really does disconnect us from straight culture. Because it'll be like a topic of conversation when you're with straight people of, like, who's likely to cheat? Like, oh, who's like a morally bad person? And it's like, I don't know how to hop into those conversations.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, it's like the currency. It's like, there's so much sex inflation with gay guys where the currency is crazy. Yeah, it's like, everything costs 20. It's like we. You, like, you go to Argentina or whatever, and it was like $20,000 for a loaf of bread. It's like, $1 of cheating in straight culture will ruin you, but it's like a dollar of cheating. Who gives a fuck? You have to really. You have to cheat so much as a gay guy for it to fudgeing register. You have to fuck like 1,000 guys and, like, ignore. Ignore your husband's calls for two years. And then it's like the equivalent of getting head and head at a bar one night for a straight couple out.
George Severis
With his girls and is like, do you guys think it's weird that I haven't seen him in two years and he just got married to a different person in Nantucket. And they're like, sweetie, that is not okay. And then he's like, you guys are lame. Like, it's fine.
Stavros Kalkyas
Well, this is also.
Sam Taggart
Sometimes when you're, like, trying to talk to someone about a relationship, it does. Like, it unfortunately does have to be like a gay guy because you're like, only you will understand that this is what's normal and what's not.
Stavros Kalkyas
Right, right, right, yeah, yeah, because I.
Sam Taggart
Get that like a queer friendly, like therapist or something. They' so wait.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sam Taggart
And you're like, no, no, no, I.
George Severis
Was talking about this. We were talking about this on the Patreon. But after I got married, I was like, okay, you know how classic straight guy getting married is like, is attracted to other women, but he's like, no, dude. Like, you got to make this work. Like, don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, succumb to it. I was having the opposite thing where I was like, you know, because it was like such a lovely week and everything. I was just like, I only cared about my husband. Husband. But I kept being like, no, like, you're gay, you have to like other guys. Like, I was like, I was like, not attracted to other people and I.
Stavros Kalkyas
Was like, what the?
George Severis
Like, you have to like someone now.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, that's tough, man. Everyone's culture is a prison any way you look at it.
Sam Taggart
No, it's true.
Stavros Kalkyas
You can't just be. You can't just be a romantic for, you know, three months. I have thought about that because I like, I've dated people in open relationships and I'm like, when they get married, is there like a two month period where I'm not allowed to fuck them or something? You know what I mean? Like, should I not hit her up because I see her ig, she's at her bachelor party, her bachelorette. I mean, it does feel like there should be a small window.
George Severis
I literally have just experienced this and it's very funny to see in real time. We're like, okay, nobody move.
Sam Taggart
Yeah.
George Severis
Someone'S last message to you was like, like something explicit. And then the next one is like, congrats, you too.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Is there an out of office gay married email where it's like, well, for the next four months I won't be getting sucked off by any of you guys.
Sam Taggart
Four months? Come on. I only have one life.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, whatever.
George Severis
Maybe in the Midwest. Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
That is beautiful.
Sam Taggart
It's honestly my approach to like, of my thinking of sobriety. Sometimes I'm like, you know, it'd be amazing to be sober for like one month. Yeah, like a whole year. I'm like, damn, really shooting high.
Stavros Kalkyas
It's purely like almost to prove to myself I can do it. It's a kind of like a willpower challenge of. Because I've wanted to get fucked up so bad. Especially, especially the more stressed out. I'm like, it's gotten pretty. Like, I'm like, it would be so nice to just turn your brain off. That's what most of it is for me is like, just silence, all the worry or whatever. But I've stuck to it. And then I know, I mean, I'll pro. Who knows what happens in that year. I'm hoping to not get as fucked up, but I, I, I can't. I don't see myself ever being a totally sober person. Like, the thing that's going to kill me is not getting high as shit. The week between Christmas and New Year's, that fake week that doesn't exist.
George Severis
When I tell you I was literally thinking about how much I'm looking forward to that week yesterday, I was just.
Sam Taggart
Like, it's the best time of my life.
Stavros Kalkyas
And that's, that's a fucking four movies a day week right there. That's a fucking movies during Christmas break.
George Severis
Literally the one time I can be happy in my life.
Stavros Kalkyas
Eating leftovers, watching movies, ordering out some bad too, when you're done. Oh, I love it.
Sam Taggart
So fun.
Stavros Kalkyas
So many desserts. So many different types of pie and cake.
Sam Taggart
Damn.
Stavros Kalkyas
Awesome. And I'm gonna be not high for that. And I'm not gonna eat that many desserts.
Sam Taggart
Did you just take a break that week?
George Severis
Sam, you're being such a bad.
Stavros Kalkyas
Prove it to myself.
George Severis
Don't do it.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
One week.
Stavros Kalkyas
I have to prove it to myself that I can. And then I'm back.
George Severis
I have to say, I'm really impressed.
Sam Taggart
No, I'm impressed.
George Severis
I really am.
Stavros Kalkyas
Thank you, fellas.
George Severis
Here's a question.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
And then we have to close.
Sam Taggart
Oh, yeah.
George Severis
But here's a question. How has your dating life been since you got sober?
Sam Taggart
That's a great question and so interviewy. I love it.
Stavros Kalkyas
That's a good. To be honest with you, it's like the easiest thing in the world is to go for drinks or whatever. But I don't know. My life's been weird in general where it's like, I don't have much of a social life. And so most of my dates have been been like, you know, come over. Like, I come over, I'll grill something. Because I'm trying to be healthy too. So I'm not trying to eat out, I'm not trying to drink out. So it's like. So sometimes I, like, meet somebody. If it's a complete stranger. You're not just inviting them to your home, but you'll just go get a drink, whatever, see what's up. Other times I have Invited people directly into my home, you know, I guess I haven't been doing again gig. I have been kind of. When you, when you get Internet famous, it is kind of like living like a gay guy.
Sam Taggart
Sure.
Stavros Kalkyas
Because you get a lot of mentally ill women on the Internet who also behave like gay guys to just sort of come over, be like, hey, send you nudes. And it's like. So a lot of the Internet makes.
George Severis
Gay guys out of all of us in a weird way.
Sam Taggart
That's really interesting. Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
So honestly, my dating life has been kind of like a. It's been very, very like even people I've seen multiple times. It's like, hey, look, I haven't lived in one city between Baltimore and New York. I've been on the road, I've been shooting a couple things in different cities. I'm about to go on tour. So it's like everything is very in flux. So it's like my dating life is just, hey, if we hit it off, come over, let's hang out. I'll grill up some marinated flank steak and some shishito peppers. One of my go to one of my go to meals. Little veggie, little fucking protein. And then, you know, I'll have booze. I want to be a good host. So I have like wine or like cocktails or whatever the fuck. But yeah, I honestly, it's been kind of nice. I get to live like a gay. Like I get to see just a little fraction of how you guys live, you know.
Sam Taggart
My follow up question is, do gay guys hit you up?
Stavros Kalkyas
Not as much anymore. Okay. Before, I would say before I was famous. I'm not famous.
Sam Taggart
I remember when you were listed on like by comedians or something.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, Yeah, I was like out. Did like a fucking listicle on my Instagram. Like they were like buying me or like before I had any kind of like anything going on. And it was just about my body, like not about my like, you know, successes or anything.
Sam Taggart
Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
Purely the gay community was hitting me up and like, you know, three, three women. And now it's like, it's a little more, you know, you know, I think just the more people find out about you, the more they're going to come. And I've also talked about, I guess.
Sam Taggart
Yeah.
Stavros Kalkyas
Of fucking women and not. And people assumed I was gay, I guess before when I was just nude on the Internet. Yeah, this was, this is, this is like 10 years ago though. Right.
Sam Taggart
Like you're really like, you know the. In Sex in the City when Samantha is representing that actor Whose name I'm forgetting. And she's like, first you get. Because he was like, why am I holding, like, gay vodka.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
And she was like, well, honey, first you get the gays, then you get the girls.
George Severis
Yeah.
Sam Taggart
Now you're too literally did that.
George Severis
They're like, yeah, literally not into. I mean, this guy's on tv.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sam Taggart
It's like if gay guys are obsessed with someone, it's like, in 10 years.
Stavros Kalkyas
That is kind of what happened. Because I was. I had not. Like, that was before comptown. That was before, like, any. I was just a feature comedian 10 years ago. Yeah, but you would post photo shoots.
Sam Taggart
With Mateo, like, fully nude constantly.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
And well, I would like to say.
Stavros Kalkyas
For the record, I did him first. Okay. I would just like to say I brought Mateo into the nude world. This is a big argument. He's one of my best friends. I love him. We. Is a big argument. Of course. He's sexy as hell, carved out of marble. He's going to take off. By the way, my account got banned because I was naked on it. And his. He got like, you know, a million followers the next day. Yeah, little body, little. Little fat phobia in Zuckerberg's, you know, in Meta's fucking algorithm. That's. But, you know, that's society. Whatever. But yeah, I would. It's not like I don't understand why people thought I was gay. I was like, naked on the Internet and then I did that for a year, and then I was like, hmm, my hottest gay friend. Why don't you fucking come over, show those abs and, you know, flop that dick around in my living room? It's like, yeah, I think it's safe to assume I wasn't. I was a gay guy also. But, you know, whatever, you know, that's what happens. And I'm happy, literally. And if anybody wants to beat off to me, no matter who you are, feel free. You have my blanket permission to jack off to me.
George Severis
That's really empowering for a straight guy to call you as a gay guy. For a straight guy, a straight friend to call you and be like, hey, wanna come? A nude photo shoot in my apartment? That is like the plot of a porn.
Stavros Kalkyas
I don't think I'm literally the way.
Sam Taggart
I would be there.
George Severis
I'm thinking about, like, all the straight guys. It's like, at this point, I'm old enough to not, like, fantasize about my straight friends, but it's like, what if suddenly they, as an adult, they were like, hey, come over and let's get naked.
Sam Taggart
Yeah. I don't fantasize to an extent.
Stavros Kalkyas
Right, right.
Sam Taggart
They're like inviting the fantasy.
Stavros Kalkyas
Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I get that. If, I mean, just to flip it around if like any woman was like, do you want to be. Even if I didn't really want to fucking him, I'd be like, yeah, interesting, you know, But I don't know. I think we have a nice me and have a good. I don't think I'm his type. I think he likes more just. He's a chisel. He's more of a chiseled on, chiseled guy, you know, So I think that was part of it. And yeah, he's got too masculine for me too, you know? Yeah, of course not. Not gonna work. So we were just. There was no real sexual chemistry there. Just. Just two perfect bodies. Yeah, just. Just respect for our perfect bodies next to each other. So it was. Yeah, but it was great. I miss those days, those early days of just being a nude slut on the Internet. No one really knew I was a comedian even.
Sam Taggart
They literally really did lean in though. Like, it was like pretty wild.
Stavros Kalkyas
I got the nude calendar, the 2025 calendar coming. I do a new calendar every year. So they're still out there. Just Instagram. Instagram will like take them down now. So I just, I just sell the calendar. So. Yeah, I'll send you guys a couple.
Sam Taggart
Please.
George Severis
Oh my God, I would love that.
Sam Taggart
Yeah, that'd be awesome. I'll put it in the bathroom.
Stavros Kalkyas
Please.
George Severis
I'll put it in. My man Ca.
Sam Taggart
Should we do our final segment? Yes.
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Stavros Kalkyas
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Sam Taggart
So our final segment is called Shout Outs. In the Grand Straight tradition, we give a radio shout out to anything that we are enjoying. Imagine it's 2001, you're at TRL shouting out to your squad back home, but about anything that you like. And I have one.
George Severis
Okay, go.
Sam Taggart
What's up freaks, losers and perverts around the globe. I want to Give a huge shout out to a good night's sleep. I have had a sleep weekend and in a way that was crazy because I started out really hungover and I said, damn, I'm gonna get a good night's sleep tonight. Didn't slept for about four hours. Then the next night I was like, okay, I've never been so tired in my life. I'm about to get a good night's sleep. Didn't another four hours. What is wrong? What is wrong? Yesterday I thought I might die. And then I went and I slept at my friend Nick and Claire's apartment. And you better believe I felt so cozy that I slept right until 8:30 in the morning. And it was that type of sleep where you're like, oh, I'm like dizzy now. Like it like kind of hurt to wake. And I really feel that today I have a new lease on life. And I can't wait to see what amazing business deals transpire with the rest of my afternoon shout out to a good night's sleep.
Stavros Kalkyas
Woo.
George Severis
What's up crazy kids out there? I want to give a shout out to. Okay, I was on a flight. First of all, I've been watching the most amazing movies on flights recently. I watched the film Thelma. Have you seen this?
Stavros Kalkyas
I was gonna watch it. No, I didn't. I watched robocop instead.
George Severis
Oh my God, I love robocop.
Stavros Kalkyas
I was in London and they were showing it. I wanted to go see a movie in theaters and they were showing Thelma. But then I saw like, oh, they're also showing robocop in a theater. So I saw Robocop. But I want to see.
George Severis
Where is he by the way? What was his last movie?
Stavros Kalkyas
I don't know. Didn't he do something recently?
George Severis
Did you like L is so good?
Stavros Kalkyas
I haven't seen it. Oh my God, I'll see it.
George Severis
L is so.
Stavros Kalkyas
I'll. I'll watch it. I'll watch it.
George Severis
So Thelma was incredible. But last night when I was coming back from Chicago, I hit play on Freaky Friday starring Lindsay.
Stavros Kalkyas
Classic.
George Severis
And I was like, I feel like at this point it's so cliche to be nostalgic for like early aughts stuff. But I was like, there is a reason it hits. This girl is a star.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, well it hits because that was when you were young. Yeah. No, that's not. I did have a moment.
George Severis
I was like, damn. Were movies ever this like. Yeah, if I was like two years older it would be a different thing.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
Anyway, the point is, I Want to give a shout out to Lindsay Lohan, one of our comedic great.
Stavros Kalkyas
Absolutely.
George Severis
You know, I'm not going to be a ashamed to like you because it's. Because, oh, it's mainstream now to reclaim Lindsay Lohan. She is a great actress. She's an incredible musician, dancer, dancer, hair legend. And, you know, I'm just happy she seems to be doing well. And you. Our childhoods would not have been the same without you. Freaky Friday is a great film. You know, I'm happy they're making a terrible sequel. Good for them. Like, maybe they'll make some money on max.com.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
So shout out to Lindsey.
Stavros Kalkyas
Shout out to Lindsey. I mean, you want to talk about where the Venn diagram of stuff gay gu and stuff straight guys like Lindsay Lohan. Definitely. Yeah.
Sam Taggart
She was my high school celebrity crush.
Stavros Kalkyas
To see I'm straight guy. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I remember a couple photo shoots that very problematic in hindsight SNL sketch. But I was a fan at the time. I must say. I didn't mind it.
Sam Taggart
I remember being like, well, this is just comedically genius.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Shout out just. I'm going to follow up on your Lindsay Lord head shout out for sure. And then I'm just gonna say shout out to interesting diet sodas. You know, the Coke zero Oreo limited edition collab. I'm all over it. A and W, zero sugar, root beer. Big fan of that.
Sam Taggart
Wow.
Stavros Kalkyas
So that's been a big sobriety thing is like, whenever I want to, like, smoke a joint or knock back a cold one, I'm like, let's get a weird diet soda in the mix. So I'm just. That's really helping me out a lot, I guess. Halo top ice cream, sort of methadone, Ben and Jerry's to me. I'm going a little overboard on both of those right now, but I'm to reel it back in. Yeah, that's Shout out to that man. Shout out to diet. To tastier diet foods than, you know, our four fat fathers ever got to enjoy.
George Severis
You're always picking one straight thing and one gay thing. It's either steak and shishito peppers or, like, disgusting sodas and Halo tea.
Sam Taggart
No, it's.
Stavros Kalkyas
It's.
Sam Taggart
It's really interesting.
Stavros Kalkyas
Thank you.
George Severis
No, I love it.
Stavros Kalkyas
I appreciate it, guys.
George Severis
Keep us guessing.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah. Yeah.
George Severis
Well, Stav, this has been an absolute. But let's tell the folks at home once again what projects you have coming up.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah, let's start a cult in theaters. It's 1025. It's a very stupid cult. Like, it's a 90 minute dumb comedy, right? It's like, I just want to make the stupidest movies of all time. It's just fun. I really.
Sam Taggart
And you wrote it with Wes Haney.
Stavros Kalkyas
I wrote it with Wes Haney. Ben Kitnick. We have a lot of friends, maybe people who've been on the show.
Sam Taggart
Claire okay's in it.
Stavros Kalkyas
Claire okay's in it. Edie's in it. Edie. Joe Pera's in it. We have some great past guests. And yeah, it's in. I assume this podcast is in only major cities, so that's where the movie is playing. It's playing in like, it's playing in like seven major cities. So please go see it. And yeah, look out for that. Stavi's World is my podcast and I'll be on tour next year. I'm gonna announce a tour in a couple weeks soon. So if you liked me and you want to come see me live, keep an eye out for that. But yeah, mainly the movie. I hope people see it.
George Severis
Yeah, yeah, see the movie.
Sam Taggart
Well, thanks for doing the pod.
Stavros Kalkyas
Of course. Thanks for having me. I've been waiting to, you know. Oh my God, I've been gone. We had so much fun on my podcast. I got to get it. I got to get.
George Severis
We got to come back.
Stavros Kalkyas
Come back, please.
Sam Taggart
That was so fun.
Stavros Kalkyas
Yeah.
George Severis
Well, a dream.
Sam Taggart
Bye. Podcast ends now.
George Severis
Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.
Sam Taggart
Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.
George Severis
Now get back to work.
Sam Taggart
Stradiolab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money players network and iHeart podcasts.
George Severis
Created and hosted by George Severis and.
Sam Taggart
Sam Taggart, Executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wang Edited and engineered by Adam.
George Severis
Avalos Artwork by Michael Fails and Matt.
Sam Taggart
Grubb Theme music by Ben Kling.
Stavros Kalkyas
This.
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Take a deep dive into the stories making the news headlines across the world. The News Agents we're not just here.
Stavros Kalkyas
To tell you what's happening, but why from me, Emily Maitlis and me, John Sopel with Global's award winning podcast the News Agents Dropping daily covering everything you need to know about politics and current.
George Severis
Affairs and The News Agents USA listening.
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Episode Date: September 2, 2025
Hosts: George Civeris & Sam Taggart
Guest: Stavros Halkias
In this lively and incisive episode, comedians George Civeris and Sam Taggart welcome stand-up comic Stavros Halkias to dissect the straight cultural phenomenon of the “Man Cave.” The trio explores what makes the man cave so emblematic of straight relationships and gendered domestic spaces—unpacking both the humor and the pathos embedded in these rooms. Along the way, they riff on Greek and WASP family dynamics, debate the evolution of straight vs. gay home decor, consider sobriety and adulthood, and draw ever-present parallels between queer and straight cultural rituals.
Tone: Irreverent, self-aware, and hyper-intellectual, brimming with bits and meta-commentary.
Timestamps: 02:50–08:17
Timestamps: 08:17–21:12
Timestamps: 17:51–21:12
Timestamps: 24:06–32:12
Timestamps: 32:42–39:37
Timestamps: 39:37–54:53
Timestamps: 40:53–61:16
Timestamps: 54:53–59:52
Timestamps: 63:30–66:36
Timestamps: 69:22–75:23
Timestamps: 78:25–82:42
On the man cave:
“It’s one of these things I do, in theory, think is awesome, but it also is like proof how many straight couples just hate each other.” (Stavros, 41:01)
On Greek family:
“They will be racist to a group you didn’t even know existed ... they’ll do it in Italian if they know five words, they will figure it out.” (Stavros, 11:29)
On open relationships:
“You have to really cheat so much as a gay guy for it to fudgeing register.” (Stavros, 64:46)
On marriage cynicism:
“I realized, wait, they’re not imagining that. They’re just imagining ... someone who loves me the most.” (Stavros, 55:41)
On gay/straight home decor:
“For straight men, they think neutral is gray—and for gay men, they think neutral is the beige-brown spectrum.” (George, 50:28)
On adulthood & sobriety:
“It would be so nice to just turn your brain off...most of it is just silence all the worry or whatever.” (Stavros, 67:50)
Timestamps: 82:44–83:56
For listeners who want a sharp, joke-dense, and deeply savvy take on the straightest (and occasionally queerest) spaces in modern life—this episode is a riotous, thoughtful, and revealing listen.