Surprise Call-In Show!

Summary

Podcast Summary: StraightioLab – "Surprise Call-In Show!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: StraightioLab
• Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Description: StraightioLab is an intellectual podcast where smart comedians George Civeris and Sam Taggart unpack the rich, multi-colored tapestry of straight culture. In each episode, they explore various societal topics with the help of guests.
• Episode: Surprise Call-In Show!
• Release Date: May 27, 2025

Note: The provided transcript features hosts Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas, indicating a possible mix-up in podcast details. This summary is based on the transcript provided.

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Introduction and Sponsors [00:00 – 02:00]

The episode kicks off with promotional segments for PayPal and Talkspace, emphasizing PayPal's flexible payment options and Talkspace's virtual therapy services. These advertisements set the stage before the hosts dive into the main content.

Opening Remarks and Brand Rant [02:00 – 08:19]

Matt Rogers [02:00]:
Welcome listeners to another bicoastal episode of StraightioLab, following successful recordings in New York City.

Bowen Yang [02:11]:
Announces an upcoming vacation to Italy and expresses frustration with Spindrift, a brand attempting to straddle categories between seltzer, juice, mocktail, and cocktail.

"They are being so toxic in wanting to have it all, and I cannot do it anymore." [02:44]

Matt Rogers [03:04]:
Disagrees with Bowen, advocating for innovation in the beverage space and appreciating Spindrift's efforts.

"I think we need more innovation in the drink space." [03:04]

Bowen Yang [03:31]:
Shares personal preference for clearly defined beverages over hybrid products like Spindrift.

"I would always rather have [a defined drink] than something that is somewhere in the middle." [03:31]

Matt Rogers [04:11]:
Introduces "Farm to People," a service delivering fresh herbs directly to consumers for crafting personalized drinks.

"It's time to party." [04:11]

The discussion oscillates between criticism and appreciation of Spindrift, highlighting differing viewpoints on product categorization and consumer preferences.

Listener Calls and Cultural Discussions [08:38 – 18:55]

Caller from Vermont [08:38 – 15:36]

Caller Allison [08:47]:
A rural Vermont lesbian couple reaches out, expressing admiration for the podcast and seeking cultural updates due to their limited access to mainstream media.

"We live out in the sticks in rural Vermont. ... our cultural knowledge ... comes from you guys." [08:55]

Matt Rogers [10:08]:
Defends Vermont, sharing personal experiences and acknowledging the city's slower pace.

"I don't hate Vermont. I love Vermont." [10:08]

Bowen Yang [11:09]:
Encourages open-mindedness and appreciates the caller's approach, although he hesitates to delve deeply into lesbian culture topics.

"Our vibe is more HBO Max." [11:09]

Discussion Highlights:

• Cultural Fracturing:

"Culture used to be more streamlined and now it's more fractured." [13:31]

• Standing Ovations at Cannes:

"They're greatly exaggerated because actually, these days, everything gets a standing ovation." [13:23]

• Influence of Figures like Lorde:

"People really want you to convince you that her quirk is expired." [35:25]

Caller Questions: Paris Hilton and Creative Crossroads [08:58 – 37:32]

Caller on Paris Hilton [18:58 – 21:20]:
Inquires about the hosts' opinions on Paris Hilton's evolving public image.

Bowen Yang [19:07]:
Expresses aversion towards Hilton's mainstreaming efforts, linking it to personal experiences with advertising campaigns.

"You can't be selling back Paris Hilton to me in a Hilton ad." [20:35]

Caller on Career Crossroads [22:02 – 36:49]:
Explores the phenomenon where creators gain mainstream fame and subsequently face backlash, questioning if there's a term for this trajectory.

Matt Rogers [31:36]:
Introduces the term "expired quirk" to describe this phase.

"It's an expired quirk." [32:36]

Key Insights:

• Expired Quirk:
  A framework coined to describe the decline in popularity or relevance of a creator's unique traits as they gain mainstream success.

"It's like, you love this. And then something goes bad." [32:41]

• Impact on Personalities:
  Discussion of how maintaining or abandoning distinctive quirks affects public perception and career longevity.

Terminology and LGBTQ+ Culture [37:00 – 48:04]

Caller on "FFLer hag" [39:40 – 44:21]

Caller [41:12]:
Raises a question about the acceptability and usage of the term "fag hag" within relationships.

Bowen Yang [43:32]:
Distinguishes between the term's historical context and modern sensitivities, expressing discomfort with casual derogatory language.

"I'm way more bothered by the casual use of the word twink..." [44:21]

Matt Rogers [42:27]:
Supports the reclamation of certain terms when used affectionately and within community boundaries.

Key Points:

• Terminology Evolution:
  Debate over the appropriateness and evolving meanings of terms like "fag hag" and "twink" within and outside the LGBTQ+ communities.

• Emerging Concepts:
  Introduction of "lesbian fag hag," describing lesbians who deeply engage with gay male communities, especially in social settings like raves.

"It's rising... It's like lesbians who love Lady Gaga." [45:10]

Bald Gay Men Discussion [62:30 – 66:51]

Caller on Baldness [62:40 – 66:51]:
Asks hosts' opinions on bald gay men, seeking validation and perspectives.

Matt Rogers [63:14]:
Finds baldness attractive and acknowledges both the aesthetic appeal and the emotional challenges associated with hair loss.

"I think bald is very hot." [63:11]

Bowen Yang [65:07]:
Shares personal experiences linking baldness to familial associations, complicating his feelings towards it.

"My dad has been fully bald since he was like 25... making it challenging on a sexual attraction level." [65:17]

Insights:

• Masculinity and Baldness:
  Debunking stereotypes that equate hair loss with emasculation, instead associating baldness with enhanced masculinity and attractiveness.

• Personal Narratives:
  Hosts explore how personal histories and societal perceptions influence attitudes toward baldness within the gay community.

Final Call-In Sessions and Wrap-Up [66:51 – 85:00]

Final Calls [66:51 – 84:37]:
Listeners engage with various topics, including historical roles in villages, opinions on public figures, and social behaviors in gay bars.

Notable Highlights:

• Creative Terminology:
  Discussion on "context pill" and "context diva," introducing playful metaphors for understanding social cues and situational awareness.

"The context pill doesn't mean we're against the context pill." [52:21]

• Social Dynamics:
  Examination of social interactions in gay bars, contrasting shirtless and underwear parties, and their impact on self-perception and community dynamics.

"It's an encapsulation of the gay guy experience... the push and pull between feeling liberated and feeling completely insecure." [76:36]

• Personal Anecdotes:
  Hosts share humorous and relatable stories about personal relationships, social gatherings, and the evolution of friendship dynamics within the LGBTQ+ community.

Conclusion and Farewell [84:36 – End]

Matt Rogers [84:34]:
Closes the episode with reflections on the discussions, highlighting coined terms like "expired quirk" and encouraging listeners to engage via Patreon for additional content.

Bowen Yang [84:36]:
Expresses gratitude to listeners and anticipates future topics, including upcoming tours and personal travels.

"Have a great summer... And George, have an amazing time in Italy." [83:27]

---

Key Takeaways:

1. Cultural Innovation vs. Purity:
   Debate over brands like Spindrift attempting to blend categories versus maintaining clear product identities reflects broader societal tensions between innovation and tradition.

2. Evolving Terminology:
   Terms within LGBTQ+ communities are continually reassessed, balancing historical significance with contemporary sensitivities.

3. Public Persona and Authenticity:
   The concept of "expired quirk" illustrates the challenges creators face in maintaining authenticity as they navigate mainstream success.

4. Personal Narratives Influence Perceptions:
   Hosts' personal experiences with topics like baldness and community interactions provide nuanced perspectives on societal norms and individual identity.

5. Community Dynamics:
   Discussions on social settings like gay bars reveal the complex interplay between liberation, competition, and self-consciousness within community spaces.

Notable Quotes:

• Bowen Yang [02:44]:

"They are being so toxic in wanting to have it all, and I cannot do it anymore."

• Matt Rogers [03:04]:

"I think we need more innovation in the drink space."

• Matt Rogers [32:36]:

"It's an expired quirk."

• Matt Rogers [63:11]:

"I think bald is very hot."

• Bowen Yang [44:21]:

"I'm way more bothered by the casual use of the word twink when what you really mean is gay guy than I am by the term fag hag."

---

This episode of StraightioLab delves into a variety of topics ranging from consumer culture and brand authenticity to evolving LGBTQ+ terminology and personal identity struggles. Through engaging discussions and listener interactions, hosts Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang provide insightful commentary on the complexities of modern straight and queer cultures.

Transcript

[Bowen Yang]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast. This is Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

[Matt Rogers]

This podcast is sponsored by PayPal.

[Bowen Yang]

All right, rears Katie's publicist finalist Kyle's. It's time to talk about one of the most iconic payment brands out there. That's right, it's PayPal. PayPal lets you do you. Meaning you can pay your own way.

[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

Can choose from a bunch of payment.

[Bowen Yang]

Options, including pay with PayPal at millions of online stores. Iconic pay in store, pay online, pay overtime.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't just pay PayPal.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

Podcast starts now. Hello, everyone and welcome to Stradiolab. We are coming at you bicoastally once again after our string of hit recordings in New York City.

[Bowen Yang]

We are coming at you bicoastally on a beautiful Sunday. And I am leaving for Italia tomorrow. I'm going on a vacation, as is my birthright. You're allowed As a gay man based in Brooklyn. I actually have a message to the Spindrift team and I want to say this is disgusting, y' all.

[Matt Rogers]

What?

[Bowen Yang]

Do better.

[Matt Rogers]

Which one?

[Bowen Yang]

All Spindrift. Not all Spindrift Enough. No, we have. I can't do it anymore. Either something is a seltzer or. Or it is a juice or it is a Mocktail or it is a cocktail this weird. They are being so toxic in wanting to have it all, and I cannot do it anymore.

[Matt Rogers]

I could not disagree with you more. I think we need more innovation in the drink space. I think there's obviously so much space between juice and soda and water, and they are finding that space and they're exploring it in a way that is like, thank you.

[Bowen Yang]

See, it's so funny to me. I'm like all the obviously defined things, whether it's a coke, a seltzer, a water. Like, I would always rather have that than something that is somewhere in the middle.

[Matt Rogers]

Have you had the blue one? The lemon one?

[Bowen Yang]

I have not had the lemon one, but once again, take a seltzer, take a lemon, squeeze some of it in there. Mix, mix, mix. Maybe we're talking a mint leaf.

[Matt Rogers]

Look, not all of us.

[Bowen Yang]

And get back to me.

[Matt Rogers]

A fresh garden in our damn apartment.

[Bowen Yang]

Sign up for. Sign up for Farm to People. What is it called? There is a service you can sign up for if you live in New York City. Farm to People, I believe it's called get some fresh herbs, stick them right in a glass. Ice lemon, maybe a little lime seltzer. Put a little straw in there. It's time to party.

[Matt Rogers]

Damn. They are always innovating with new delivery services over there, aren't they?

[Bowen Yang]

They certainly. I just. Yeah. I'm really sorry if they're an advertiser. And I actually bet you that the people that work at Spindrift are really cool. And I bet you I would get along with them in real life. Which is why it so pains me to be anti Spindrift. I think my personality is very Spindrift.

[Matt Rogers]

How so?

[Bowen Yang]

Because I actually think I am someone who can't commit to one thing or the other. Like, I am half juice, half seltzer.

[Matt Rogers]

So do you think you disliking Spindrift is. It's projected. Yeah, it's self hate.

[Bowen Yang]

I think it might be. I think it might be. I think it might be in the same way that actually, sometimes I feel like, despite the fact that I do think I have strong personal politics, I'm not always the bravest person in terms of getting out there and taking a strong stand. And sometimes I feel some guilt about that. I think maybe what I'm responding to in the, I guess, sort of centrism of the Spindrift project is that I see a little too much of myself in it, and I wish I could be more proudly leftist.

[Matt Rogers]

Mm. Well, I think you saying, like, the employees at Spindrift are probably pretty cool was actually really eye opening for me because I was like, now that's a fun career. Like, if you work at Spindrift, you're like, you get to be kind of like at a party. You get to be like, I actually work at Spindrifts. And everyone's like, oh, fun. Everyone's sort of like, it's not like, you know, if you work for, like, Coca Cola, it's sort of like, ew, yes, we all love Coca Cola. But it is kind of bad that you're, like, poisoning people, right?

[Bowen Yang]

No, totally. That's not good.

[Matt Rogers]

And then if you work fully, chemicals, water. If you work for, like, bottled water, like Evian.

[Bowen Yang]

Bad for the environment.

[Matt Rogers]

It's bad for the environment. But if you work for Spindrift, it's like, oh, good for you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's sort of like working for a. Well, it's a little bit like working for a 24. Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Absolute. It's the only ethical soda.

[Bowen Yang]

I know. I know. And you know what? That might be why it's so disgusting. Because actually you need soda to be unethical. Like, the reason Diet Coke is so delicious, it's because it's killing you from the inside and actually rotting all your organs.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I have a friend who I heard via a third party at some point was consulting for nuts.com and her job was to think of what to put in the different mix mixed bags. And I said, now that is a dream job.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, that's rom com job.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Oh, God. And she like, can never get the combination quite right.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And then she meets a guy and she like, go ahead.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. And he's like, my dad always did this. He always took cashews with this.

[Bowen Yang]

And not just that, but they're different enough that she realizes sometimes you need like a little bit of dried fruit and a little bit of nut.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's a beautiful little love story.

[Bowen Yang]

Anyway, sorry. If you work at Spindrift, I'm seeing here it's non gmo, no sugar added carbonated water, Concord grape juice, lemon juice.

[Matt Rogers]

And congrats on the can design. You guys kind of.

[Bowen Yang]

No, you guys absolutely ate that down.

[Matt Rogers]

And congrats on the flavors.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally. Even the name, you know, it's rare that a brand, a new brand makes an impact. Spindrift, I like.

[Matt Rogers]

I love that.

[Bowen Yang]

I like it. I like it more than all the probiotic sodas that are all named like.

[Matt Rogers]

Pop Pop, Holly Lollipop.

[Bowen Yang]

Don't like that silly lollygag. No, I talk to me like an adult.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. And honestly, those. I hate those. Those are like just soda.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I agree. Also, get. Can someone make a good ginger ale? Who's listening? Someone make a ginger ale that tastes like it's burning my throat because of how gingery it's.

[Matt Rogers]

I agree.

[Bowen Yang]

And I want it now. And I don't want too much sugar in it, and I don't want too much pulp in it.

[Matt Rogers]

And what's the. And what's the deal? So when you get, like, a ginger beer in a can, why is the can as big as my thumb?

[Bowen Yang]

I cannot even. Why? By the way, when you're on a plane and you order a seltzer and they give you one tiny seltzer that's the size of one of those tonic waters that you have for gin and ton.

[Matt Rogers]

It's insane.

[Bowen Yang]

What do you think I am, Polly Pocket? So this is a call in show.

[Matt Rogers]

This is a call in show. We are ready to take your calls from our beautiful number 385k, guys.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, and actually, I'm gonna just play the first one.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Hit it.

[Caller]

Hi, Sam and George. This is Allison calling from Vermont, a place that Sam has famously hated on. On the podcast.

[Matt Rogers]

I beg to differ.

[Caller]

It's okay. But I'm just calling because me and my girlfriend Robin are big fans of the podcast, but we're very unlikely fans because we're. We're both butch lesbians, but, you know, lesbians. Not that unlikely, I guess. But we're a butch lesbian couple, and we live out in the sticks in rural Vermont. We don't have any social media. We are both big into, like, wandering in the woods and playing in the dirt. So that means that since we're still, like, huge fans of Stradio Lab, most of, like, our, like, cultural knowledge these days, we actually get from you guys on the podcast. Like, we know about things that are happening in, like, the cultural world, I guess, like in a city or something. What people are doing in the cities, what people are talking about in the cities because of you guys. And so I was wondering if there are any other things that you think we should know about that you want to shout out for us. So please educate. Educate some rural Vermonters about what needs to be known, what needs to be known by the world. Okay, Love you guys. Yeah, bye.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, an amazing call. I first of all want to defend myself and say that I don't hate Vermont. I love Vermont. I go to the gay swimming hole there, and I Celebrate it. It is a bit boring, and that can be jarring. And, you know, you think you want boring, but then you're out there and you're like, well, what do I do, literally? And then you're ending up watching the Idol while you're on vacation in Vermont because you. You crave sort of glossy something.

[Bowen Yang]

It's funny because I think your reputation is like, that you are more of, like, the one to go to a. To Vermont swimming hole, but you also are, in fact, so much more city than I am in that when you're there for over 30 minutes, you are literally in tears and you're needing to watch something on hbo. Max.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it's really, it's tough because I love the idea, of course, of being alone in the woods, but then it's like. But I don't actually want that. Like, I love the.

[Bowen Yang]

No, of course. Of course. I want to say before we answer this question, like, for two rural lesbians to call in, be so effusively nice, and then ask us to tell them what culture they need to know is like, when I started this job, that was my biggest dream. The idea that, like, a really kind, butch lesbian is like, all right, what can we. You know, these are gay guys. Like, their role is to teach us about pop culture. So come at me. And to be there with an open mind and an open heart, knowing that they. Their vibe is more going into the woods, and our vibe is more HBO. Max.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

So, okay, what culture today, May 2025. Like, what culture do these rural Vermonters need to know about?

[Matt Rogers]

I think the big one is literally just all summer. Addison Rae. Yeah, I think that's, like, the biggest. No, that's the biggest one because I think that's like a nice. She's obviously, like, has mainstream appeal, but is, like, not full mainstream yet. And so I think it's fun to be on the. Like, for a rural Vermont lesbian, you're going to be like, look at. Look at what I'm doing. I'm listening to Addison Rae, and I know that I'm in.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. I think that you need to be able to recognize Thom Brown on the red carpet.

[Matt Rogers]

You have to pronounce the way there.

[Bowen Yang]

You have to pronounce Loewe correctly. Tom Brown. Listen to me. If something is very tailored but kind of weird, and it's like basically black, navy, white, red.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's kind of look for the little stripes, a little fascistic look for the little stripes. That's going to go ahead and be Tom Brown.

[Matt Rogers]

What Else what other cultures do they need to know?

[Bowen Yang]

The Cannes Film Festival is happening right now. It's going to be over by the time you're listening to this. You're going to want to get your.

[Matt Rogers]

Riffs in about standing ovations now.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Get your riffs about. No. Here's something you need to know about standing ovations that can. They're greatly exaggerated because actually, these days, everything gets a standing ovation. So you'll hear, oh, this got a seven minute standing ovation. It can. Not that impressive.

[Matt Rogers]

Means nothing.

[Bowen Yang]

Means nothing. Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Sort of the participation trophies of Cannes, actually.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Huge thing you need to know is that culture used to be more streamlined and now it's more fractured. Everything is niche, and there are niche communities. And that's why Pete Buttigieg has to go on a podcast hosted by a comedian who does jokes where he makes fun of different races.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. That's why Bernie Sanders has to do that as well.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, that's correct.

[Matt Rogers]

It's quite sad. Is there.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm like, Nicole Scherzinger used to be in the Pussycat Dolls, but now she's revelatory in Sunset Boulevard, which is not a very good musical. But this production is actually kind of refreshing.

[Matt Rogers]

And get ready to feel complex about Lorde.

[Bowen Yang]

Right. So the thing with Lorde. Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Because the thing with Lorde is that her gender is expanding, but she's also tying it to her album rollout in a way that's very sort of sometimes feel cynical, but sometimes you're like, but she. Like, she should be able to talk about it. But then it's so tied to the album that you're like, what's. Is this just for attention? What's going on here?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes. And we're also in a place where, you know, the LGBTQ+ community is scared of putting out the wrong messaging because there's danger out there. And so when someone like Lorde is saying, you know, is off message, everyone's like, lord, Ella, not now. I know you're not from here, but we're gonna need to stay on message.

[Matt Rogers]

We're gonna need to stay on message. And, you know, people will be mixed about her. Her music, but I think it's best to take a strong stance in any direction. Don't be the spindrift, either love or hate. I'm choosing love. And Lord, please come on the podcast.

[Bowen Yang]

Correct. I would say that. I mean, is there anything obvious that we're forgetting?

[Matt Rogers]

I don't know. Let's move on.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm like, realize it's when we record, just the two of us on a Sunday on Zoom. I'm like. I'm like, so comfortable. And I forget. I do forget that this is for public consumption.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally. Oh, another thing. Look up Pink Panthers.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. You're going to want to look her up.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Look up Pink Pantheris.

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe read the wiki for. Just read the wiki. Just Little Miss Pink.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. And also I would base. I would basically watch the movies of Ari Aster and form any opinion on them.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Now's the time.

[Bowen Yang]

Now's the time.

[Matt Rogers]

And I'd say download. Ok, Lou?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Download Oklou is how it's spelled.

[Matt Rogers]

I think you're gonna want to put that when it comes to the new year, you're gonna say, and this was actually my favorite album of the year. And I think that'll give you some real credibility.

[Bowen Yang]

Mm. Okay. Oh, you know, before we move on, I want to say we got a ton of calls from lesbians and otherwise queer women, specifically about lesbian culture. I think we don't want to push our luck too much by commenting too much on lesbian culture after we hosted an entire Lesbian Lab show and. But I do want to very quickly shout out some of the calls we got. So let's see. Someone asked, is political lesbianism back? And by that she defined it as like, not sleeping with men by choice. The sort of like, not like, I was born this way and men are disgusting, but like, I am. I could sleep with men if I wanted to and often do want to, but I'm choosing not to do that as a. As a politics.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, that's.

[Bowen Yang]

So the question is, is that back? So that was a great question. Oh, yeah. Someone says, like, someone asked us, someone just went to a new lesbian bar and she said it was just completely viabless and terrible. And she basically wants us to talk about, like, why lesbian bars have no vibe. Again, we are not. Sorry, I'm being actually poisoned Live. Live on air. We don't want to comment on that right now.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't want to comment on that right now. But I do have one quick thing. I saw friend of the pod, Casey Jane Ellison this weekend and there was a. We were talking about lesbian bars and gay bars and an interest theory was pitched, which is that, like, a gay bar is better when it's owned by a lesbian and a lesbian bar is better when it's owned by a gay guy.

[Bowen Yang]

100%.

[Matt Rogers]

You have some distance from the community in order to, like, really run it correctly.

[Bowen Yang]

I would frankly go so far as to Say a gay bar is better when it's owned by a woman of any sort, even a straight woman.

[Matt Rogers]

True, true.

[Bowen Yang]

And I'll say, you know, Julius is owned by a straight woman and she's a straight Greek woman. And so make of that what you will, but that's the truth.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. So shout out to all the lesbian questions. We appreciate them, and we will not be commenting further, but maybe in the future we will.

[Bowen Yang]

We're not. We know that our role is to comment on all lgbtq. Of course, but I think we. I think we are respectfully not making ourselves arbiters of lesbian culture.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

At this point.

[Matt Rogers]

At this point.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, next call.

[Caller]

Hey, Sam and George.

[Matt Rogers]

I had a question for y' all.

[Caller]

How do y' all feel about Paris Hilton?

[Matt Rogers]

I think that's all the context you need.

[Bowen Yang]

Thanks.

[Matt Rogers]

How do we feel about Paris Hilton? Well, I think. I think we both agree on this one. It was fun for a second.

[Bowen Yang]

I think I say congratulations on all you've done and goodbye for now. No, I would say forever, actually. If I may be so bold, I would say thank you for everything you have contributed. Have fun living a private life from here on out.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you know the like, like carbon dating, like a. Like a half life where, like, how long it is, it's like there's like half as much carbon. I feel like Paris Hilton's kind of that, like, like the first time around it was like, wow, this is so of the moment. So now she's so Y2K and now the reboot of Paris Hilton, it was like it had half as much juice and it was like, yeah, it's like almost like it's fun, but it has half the impact. And it's like it's only going to keep deteriorating. I do think in 10 more years she'll come back again and it'll be like a quarter of the original 100%.

[Bowen Yang]

I want to say part of my current aversion to her has to do with the fact that as listeners of the Patreon know, I had a six month freelance job that was in Penn Station. And out of my window at work, I could see this giant billboard for Hilton hotels. They did a campaign with Paris Hilton. I don't know if this made it to Los Angeles or the state of.

[Matt Rogers]

California, but I did not recognize this.

[Bowen Yang]

Big campaign featuring Paris Hilton. And now what we have here is Reclaim. Paris Hilton has been canonized so much that she's no longer an embarrassment to the Hilton name. And like a problem child, she's actually so mainstream pop culture, that they are reappropriating her as, like, a positive. As a positive spokesperson for the Hilton family. And to that, I say, you know, please respect me as a consumer. Like, I can't. We can't be. You can't be selling back Paris Hilton to me in a Hilton ad and expecting me to then want to go and check into a Hilton.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, no, no, enough. Her doing that album last year. Like, it's like, we can't do this anymore.

[Bowen Yang]

No. All right, onto actually talented women in music with the next question.

[Caller]

Hi, Sam and George. I have recently become enamored of playing your little Heim game with any group of three things, but I simply think there has to be a better word than Heimlich. So I thought about the word hagiography, which I think is like, books about saints. So, like, haimeography. Writing about three sisters who slay, perhaps. Anyway, my question is haimeography or Heimlich, I guess. And I don't think you've done this before. New York, L.A. chicago, and then also, for my own purposes, the second tier.

[Bowen Yang]

Of cities that cause lots of discourse.

[Caller]

Boston, San Francisco, D.C. let me know what you think.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

This is amazing. What an amazing question.

[Bowen Yang]

Amazing question. I. What do you think about the name of the game? I just. We can't. I haven't thought of it.

[Matt Rogers]

Heimlich. It rolls off the tongue.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, so we're just sticking with Heimlich.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. All right. Heimlich, New York, L.A. chicago.

[Matt Rogers]

I almost think. I think Danielle is Chicago because she's, like, like, of the. She's like, of the earth. Like, she's, like. She's, like, putting in the work.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And she's like, I'm here. Like, I'm the backbone. I think Alana is maybe LA because of being in movies.

[Bowen Yang]

And you think Esty is New York?

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Why? Because she's, like a West Village girl.

[Matt Rogers]

A little. I think Estes got edge. I think Estes, like, you know, she's. She's not afraid to ruffle some feathers.

[Bowen Yang]

Mm. I see. See, I think my only argument against that would be Alana is an it girl, which to me reads more New York than la. Like, Alana to be a muse for Paul Thomas Anderson. I know Paul Thomas Anderson is very la, But. But spiritually, he feels very New York to me. Like, his vibe feels more New York. And I think Esti is just so at home in Silver Lake. Floppy hat, like.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, plus, she's blonde.

[Bowen Yang]

Plus, she's blonde. We don't have to agree. But I Think that would be my. That would be my point. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, we're getting. I went to that party the other night where they were DJing, and it's. I'm like, we're one degree away from Chaim.

[Bowen Yang]

At least. Or at most, tell everyone what Estee's first song was when she DJed.

[Matt Rogers]

Girls just want to have Fun.

[Bowen Yang]

Classic.

[Matt Rogers]

Classic. It was fun.

[Bowen Yang]

Is choosing that as your first song in your DJ set more LA or New York? I would say more la.

[Matt Rogers]

It's more la. Yeah, you're right. You're right. And I'm going to agree with you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Okay. All right. I mean, Danielle being Chicago is obviously shocking, but I. There's. It's too late at this point to change that choice.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but what else could she be?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Okay, let's do Boston, San Francisco, dc.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. Well, this is insane.

[Bowen Yang]

This is really, really challenging.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't. This is really challenging.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Danielle.

[Matt Rogers]

None of them are. Any of them.

[Bowen Yang]

Danielle is D.C. really? I think Danielle is D.C. because she's like, again, she's CEO. She is Nancy Pelosi. She's the Nancy Pelosi. She's like speaker of the House. She's the one that pulls the strings. She's the producer. I know they all produce, but hear me out. Is SD Boston, I think. Oh, God. You know, I think Esti is, like, the coolest girl at bu.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I see that.

[Bowen Yang]

And then I think Alana is. Alana just left San Francisco for Oakland and lives in, like, a really cool neighborhood and goes to, like, a really queer friendly hairdresser.

[Matt Rogers]

But works at Meta.

[Bowen Yang]

But works at Meta. Okay, next question. All right, this one is big. Oh, tasty, high note. Oh, hi. Don't mind me. I'm practicing my new baritone sax. I just heard PayPal's paying for people's stuff every day for a hundred days, and there's 10 million up for grabs. All you have to do is use PayPal checkout online. So there's never been a better time to buy a few things off the old wish list, like this leaf blower. PayPal could pay for your purchase. The Great PayPal Checkout, no purchase necessary. Ends July 18th. See official [e-mail]. the Great PayPal Checkout terms. Participating merchants only must use PayPal Checkout online coverage of up to $100 in eligible purchases per cart. This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. May is mental health awareness Month, and Talkspace, the leading virtual therapy provider, is telling everyone. Let's face it, in therapy. By talking or texting with a supportive licensed therapist at Talkspace, you can face whatever is holding you back, whether it's mental health symptoms, relationship drama, past trauma, bad habits, or another challenge that you need support to work through. It's easy to sign up. Just go to talkspace.com and you'll be paired with a provider, typically within 48 hours. And because you'll meet your therapist online, you don't have to take time off work or arrange childcare. You'll meet on your schedule. Plus, Talkspace is in network with most major insurers and most insured members have a $0 copay. Make your mental health a priority and start today. If you're not covered by insurance, get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com and enter promo code SPACE80. That's S P A CE80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com and Enter promo code SPACE80. I know a lot of cops and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no. Across the country, cops called this Taser the Revolution. But not everyone was convinced it was that simple.

[Matt Rogers]

Cops believed everything that Taser told them.

[Bowen Yang]

From Lava for Good and the team that brought you Bone Valley comes a story about what happened when a multi billion dollar company dedicated itself to one visionary mission. This is Absolute Season one, Taser Incorporated.

[Matt Rogers]

I get right back there and it's bad. It's really, really, really bad.

[Bowen Yang]

Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Binge episodes 1, 2 and 3 on May 21 and episodes 4, 5 and 6 on June 4 ad free at Lava for Good. Plus on Apple Podcasts. I'm Clayton English. I'm Greg Lodd and this is season.

[Matt Rogers]

Two of the War on Drugs podcast. Sir, we are back in a big way.

[Bowen Yang]

In a very big way. Real people, real perspectives.

[Matt Rogers]

This is kind of star studded a little bit, man.

[Bowen Yang]

We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman Trophy winner.

[Matt Rogers]

It's just the compassionate choice to allow players all reasonable means to care for themselves. Music stars Marcus King, John Osborne For Brothers Osborne, we have this misunderstanding of.

[Bowen Yang]

What this quote unquote drug fans. Benny the Butcher, Brent Smith from Shinedown.

[Matt Rogers]

Got be real from Cypress Hill, NHL.

[Bowen Yang]

Enforcer Riley Cote, Marine Corvette, MMA fighter Liz Caramouche. What we're doing now isn't working and we need to change things.

[Matt Rogers]

Stories matter, and it brings a face to them.

[Bowen Yang]

It makes it real. It really does. It makes it real. Listen to new episodes of the War.

[Matt Rogers]

On Drugs Podcast Season 2 on the.

[Bowen Yang]

Iheartradio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts and to hear episodes one week early and ad free with exclusive content. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Caller]

Hey, Sam and George, big fan of the pod. So I often think about your theory of Lizzo's past and the different, like, career milestones where celebrities and creators have the option to make one choice or another. And I wanted to see if you guys have any thoughts on different crossroads that I feel like a lot of creators are running into nowadays with social media, where somebody who is beloved by, like, a group of fans who maybe have an identity that's like a little quirky, like a little indie. And then as the creator becomes more and more famous and commercially mainstream, all of a sudden everyone, all at once seems to find them really annoying and egotistical. Okay, like, I feel like Taika Waititi hit this point. I feel like Lin Manuel hit this point. Not even saying that I feel that these people turned cringy, but it does seem to be the. The general view that many have. And with the White Lotus finale, it sort of looks like maybe Mike White is about to hit that point. So I was just wondering if this is a theory that you guys have any thoughts about and kind of, what would you call it along the same lines as, like, Lizzo's path? Like, is there a term for it? And maybe are there others that you can think of who have fallen victim to this decision point? Okay, thank you for making this thought. Probably a lot more eloquent than I did. Bye, guys. Love you.

[Matt Rogers]

First of all, never say that you're not eloquent.

[Bowen Yang]

You fucking crushed that you ate that.

[Matt Rogers]

That call was so to die for and well thought out. I immediately I think of, like, a Jennifer Lawrence for this type. I. I think of Anne Hathaway. I think I do think our society has a cruel way of building people up and then hating them for the reason they built them up in the first place. And it's like, that's not fair. Why did you love them then? I don't know what I would call this. This phenomenon.

[Bowen Yang]

I think the Jennifer Lawrence thing is really apt. Yeah, it's like I'm trying to use J law as a pun. Like the J law.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, wow, the J Law.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what I mean? Like, it's like, are you being cracked down by the J law? Whatever one would use for a lot. Like, I love.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm also thinking of, like, there's something. Here's the phrase I was thinking of. Yeah. Like, expired quirk. Because it's like, it.

[Bowen Yang]

It.

[Matt Rogers]

It is fresh, and you're like, oh, I love this. I love this. And then something. It goes bad. Like, you're so right.

[Bowen Yang]

That's exactly what it is. It's like his quirk expired.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

So just. Just hearing this off the top of my head, Zooey Deschanel. Of course.

[Matt Rogers]

Of course.

[Bowen Yang]

And I think she then went in a completely different direction, because I think at some point, she realized the quirk expired and was like, all right, well, then I'm just gonna be kind of a normal woman.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, and the thing with this, I do think people know that one's quirk has an expiration date nowadays, but I think it's causing people to not have quirk. I think people like, Mikey Madison is so, like, I am no personality. Like, I don't have one.

[Bowen Yang]

Sure. But I don't think that's, like, a strategic move she's doing, and she's, like, hiding her quirks. I think that's simply who she is.

[Matt Rogers]

I think she's hiding her quirks.

[Bowen Yang]

You think she's hiding her quirks?

[Matt Rogers]

I think she has quirks that she's hiding.

[Bowen Yang]

That is fascinating. You have an optimism that I wish I could have.

[Matt Rogers]

You think she's just a plain girl?

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think she's a plain girl. I think she's a terrific artist and actress, but I think she isn't. I don't think she has, like, a really strong personality, because I think she's been acting her whole life, and that's her whole life, and that's who she is. I don't think she is a Jennifer Lawrence, a Zooey Deschanel, a, you know, a Charlie xcx. Like, I think she is just girl.

[Matt Rogers]

Actor, actor, girl, actor, girl.

[Bowen Yang]

I have one that I actually think is fascinating, which is Fran Leibowitz. Oh, don't you think she. It's like she flew too close to the sun. Her quirk didn't expire for generations. And then I think over the last couple of years, a new generation of consumers has come in, and they're like, that's enough out of you.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, there is something where the mediums have changed so much, where it's like, everyone is Fran Leibowitz.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's like, okay, so you're cranky. You're essentially doing front facing rants about Starbucks.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. But you're charging for them. And you're at the 92nd Street Y, big hall.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. And we're supposed to treat you like you're better than that rant in between.

[Bowen Yang]

It'S like, yeah, how about actually sit down and write a book? I know you've had writer's block for 60 years, but that's sort of what it's gonna take for me to pay money to engage with your work.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. That is really interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

Someone. That's fascinating and I wonder what you think of it. Like, where are we with Charlie? Like, how has her quirk not expired?

[Matt Rogers]

She. This. It needs to be examined.

[Bowen Yang]

She's like an evil genius.

[Matt Rogers]

She is so good at it. I think, I don't think it's expired because she's like kind of refusing to be flat. Like, she's like. She could just be like, I am just cocaine and sunglasses. But then like, she sometimes will be like, actually, I'm not. Like, I'm this now, now. And it's like, oh, I didn't expect that. Like, she. She doesn't go two dimensional with it.

[Bowen Yang]

No, it's true. And this is actually a larger issue with like, what the right amount of branding is, because when you lean too much into one specific thing, it's gonna work for you in the beginning. Because that's how the algorithm works. It rewards consistency and quantity over quality, but it will reach a point where it goes bad fast. It's like the expert. It's like how milk expires within. It's like, it's good, it's good, it's good. One morning you wake up, you smell the bottle. Not horrible. There are, I think with some people, there are like mean and annoying people on the Internet that want you to believe someone's quirk has expired. And just because they're gay and confident doesn't mean they're right.

[Matt Rogers]

I think that's really true.

[Bowen Yang]

And I think that's true with Lorde. People really want you to convince you that her quirk is expired. Don't let them. We are not going back, folks.

[Matt Rogers]

We are here to support Lorde through this album cycle. Her quirk has not expired.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't care what her gender is. Yeah, we're listening, we're listening.

[Matt Rogers]

We're learning. The thing is, people are like, oh, it's put on like, oh, she's. And I'm like, this girl has been weird. This girl has always been weird.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, get into it.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, she's not cool.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you think Heim's Quirk expired when they first started doing the synchronized dance at the concerts?

[Matt Rogers]

I think that's when it started to expire. But I think they've recognized that, and I think they're like, that's why they're going so hard right now. I think they're really being like, we'll show you. We have a fresh batch of Quirk.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally. Yeah. And it's all Louis Vuitton.

[Matt Rogers]

It's all Louis.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you think Aoc's Quirk has expired?

[Matt Rogers]

Honestly? No.

[Bowen Yang]

I agree.

[Matt Rogers]

Sometimes I see, like, really, really, really left Internet. That's like, AOC should kill herself. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait. What is going on? And then I'm always like, this is so niche. And, like, it seems like a lot of anger for no reason sometimes, but maybe I'm uneducated, so we'll see.

[Bowen Yang]

I wonder what the path is for Paul. Pedro Pascal.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm worried about him.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. When a guy starts going sleeveless, we are on quirk. Watch.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, we're sniffing the milk.

[Bowen Yang]

We are sniffing the milk.

[Matt Rogers]

We're saying it's still good.

[Bowen Yang]

We're saying, okay, maybe one more day.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm not gonna put it in my cereal. Like, I'll put it in my coffee.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, a little splash of my coffee. Of course. Yeah, yeah. I'm sniffing his milk for sure.

[Bowen Yang]

Because I got to tell you, Andrew Scott went sleeveless. It expired fast for him.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Damn. I'm sort of obsessed with this.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. By the way.

[Matt Rogers]

And I'm praying for Pedro. I think he is so charming. I think he's so handsome.

[Bowen Yang]

I want to say, you know, I. For me, I was always, like, not resistant. He seems great, but I was always like, everyone is being a little too coordinated in their thirst for this man. Like, how about we all relax? But something switched to me the last last week, and I am so feral for him. I don't know what it is. I'm like. I'm like, I have to kiss him.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you watch Game of Thrones?

[Bowen Yang]

Nope.

[Matt Rogers]

Because his character in that, he is so sexy, and it's really incredible. And it's very much like, he comes on screen. You're like, who is that? I'm addicted. So he's the real deal. So I love this.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. No, this is expired quirk, Sam. You know, you coined Lizzo's pass, and. And you coined expired quirk. And this is your. Your true talent is coining verbiage.

[Matt Rogers]

I'll take It.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, next. Q. Oh, this is. This is really good.

[Caller]

Oh, hey guys. What a treat. This is exciting. Long time listener, first time caller. Pat just said George's taping last week and was too shy to say hi. Anyways, I'm calling because my husband and I have sort of a disagreement on something and I'm hoping you guys can help us out. Okay. I guess what we're wondering is what is the current state of the term FFLer hag I.e. f a G, H a G. And I'm not going to say it because of the aforementioned uncertainty about whether or not I'm allowed to. I know policing language is lame now, but I still don't want to be saying things that I shouldn't be. I basically called someone this who, you know, kind of was, but my husband was like, you can't say that. And I thought, what a good excuse to get our resident gay guys on the horn. Not that I'm tokenizing you in order to commit my own toxicity. Am I? Anyways, in case what you are informs what you are allowed to say, I guess I will just add that my husband is a straight CIS het white man and I am a, you know, filthy, rotten bisexual woman, period. Married to a man. Barf. So make of that what she will. I'd love to invoke Sam and say I'm not in a place where I want to be critiqued, but I am leaving this voicemail, so I guess maybe I am. Please go easy. Love you guys very much. Hootie hoo.

[Matt Rogers]

Bye folks. Her husband's gone woke. What am I? Send help.

[Bowen Yang]

Reddit. Reddit. Am I the asshole Post like I parentheses F27.

[Matt Rogers]

Bisexual.

[Bowen Yang]

Bisexual. My husband has gone woke.

[Matt Rogers]

So I think this is such an interesting. First of all, I'm really interested in this dynamic. I do think this is a real. It's very funn when like a. A straight CIS white whatever man is like, hey, like, he's like, I'm trying to be good. So like don't do that. Like don't say fag hag. But I have to disagree.

[Bowen Yang]

I think you're disagreeing with a woke husband.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I think, I think, I think women. I think first of all, I think fag hag is a chic term that needs to come back. I think it is like a. A.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like grandam. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

It's a time honored tradition and we can't erase it. There's something. It's an important role is to be a fag hag. And I think, yeah, I do think the way we. I don't know where we stand on whether there's two things or not.

[Bowen Yang]

There's where we stand on the concept of a hag hag and there's where we stand on the PC political correctness of the term fag hag. We've talked about the concept of fag hag before because of course, Matthew's theory is the fag hag is endangered because gay guys have more ways of meeting other gay guys now. So there's. They have groups of friends that are all gay guys. And so there's less quote, unquote, need not to refer to friendship that way. For like a supportive woman who's going to take you to your first gay bar, who's going to like, walk you through that breakup, who's going to go on like a friendship with you because now suddenly you're going to honcho. You are, you know, dealing with your breakup. Yeah, yeah, you're dealing with your breakup. I actually like fudgeing your friends.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I do think. But when you meet like a. Like a certified fag hag, where you're like, her deal is she loves gay guys and she, like, relates to gay guys in a deep way, I'm like, when I meet that person, I'm like, yes. Like, thank you. Thank you for your service.

[Bowen Yang]

I completely agree.

[Matt Rogers]

And I think. I don't know. I don't want to sound Republican, of course, but I am sort of like. Like, you can say fat gag. Like, it's like a. You can say fat gag.

[Bowen Yang]

To be clear, my answer is you can say fag hag and I'm not. I don't really care. That's my personal. I actually am more. This is a conversation that has been happening a lot and I'm sure you have seen it. The debate over whether or not women saying twink is kind of a red flag. Like, are they using the word twink to basically say fag? Yeah, I actually am way more not offended, but I'm way more like bothered by the casual use of the word twink when what you really mean is gay guy than I am by the term fag hag. That literally contains the slur in it.

[Matt Rogers]

I agree. I think twink just to mean any gay guy is like literally uneducated.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I wanna. Okay, one thing I actually wanna mention, I think there has been a rise in the. Get this, the lesbian fag hag.

[Matt Rogers]

Tell me more.

[Bowen Yang]

I have seen this a lot in New York recently. I've seen this in my friend groups It'll be gay guy, friend group, one woman. And her vibe is she is a proud lesbian, has lesbian friends, like, loves the queer community, but she is a partier in a way her lesbian friends can't keep up with. So she wants to go to the rave with the gay guys. Oh, and I'm observing here, I'm saying I'm seeing this.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's rising.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I think this is an amazing, groundbreaking new type.

[Bowen Yang]

Does this resonate with you at all?

[Matt Rogers]

This is resonating with me.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Like, it is. It's like. And it's not. I'm not. I really don't want to imply that this is some sort of self hating lesbian that like only wants to hang out with men. It's not that at all. It's that she literally just wants to go to the rave.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it is like gay guys have the market cornered on partying.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

In a huge way. And it is like, I think if you're a lesbian who wants to party, that's where you go.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's like, it's lesbians who love Lady Gaga, like, who want to talk about mayhem.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And they just, they honest. Sorry. But like, they do drugs.

[Matt Rogers]

They want to do drugs.

[Bowen Yang]

They want to do drugs. They want to literally do poppers, which I'm in.

[Matt Rogers]

Maybe it's because they're being taken away and you never know what you got till it's gone. I'm such a, in a pro popper space right now.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, really?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I like, think it's really funny to have on a dance floor. I'm like, I'm like charmed by them in a different way. Somebody, when we went to Palm Springs, one of our friends had poppers and he had like a little nozzle that like you put on it that so it wouldn't spill. And then you could like put, put it in your nose. And it was so fun. And we were like out of the bar, like doing poppers and then like we'd like make out. Oh, my God. And I was like, this is so fun.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, and why can't women enjoy that?

[Matt Rogers]

And I think they should.

[Bowen Yang]

So I really think that's a big. And I, and I think, I hate to say it, but that actually makes straight fag hags even more endangered because it's like suddenly they have to keep up with lesbians.

[Matt Rogers]

Now they have to be gay.

[Bowen Yang]

These girls have a husband.

[Matt Rogers]

And he's woke.

[Bowen Yang]

And he's woke, folks.

[Matt Rogers]

Help. My husband's gone woke.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait. Just very quickly, I really, I love the phrasing of this call is so straight from a straighter lab listener. It's like, this girl is just like, she wants to. She, like, wants to both be politically correct, but also recognize that, like, I know we're all past this, but I feel like I should say my husband is Cishet. Yep. I'm bisexual. Okay. Predictable. I know, but that's what I am. Like, it's like I recognize her style of speaking so much because it's the exact way I speak.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. It is like self awareness. Like the limits of self awareness, where.

[Bowen Yang]

You'Re like, no matter how they eating.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

It's the. The woke husband snake eating his own tail.

[Matt Rogers]

Honey, if he keeps up this whole woke thing, he's gonna be sucking his own dick.

[Bowen Yang]

God bless.

[Matt Rogers]

God bless.

[Bowen Yang]

I think. And I just want to say, I celebrate all fag hags.

[Matt Rogers]

I celebrate all fag hags. And I think you know when you can say it. And I think if you feel in your heart that you can say it, you can say it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. And it's. Of course, listen. It's coming from a place of love.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, we're skipping. Someone called in to tell us that they once served Ted Danson gazpacho and he really enjoyed it.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's nice.

[Bowen Yang]

Someone is asking what my go to smoothie recipe is. I gotta tell you, not very interesting. Just what I have in the fridge. Seven. Okay, let's see.

[Caller]

Hey, you gorgeous guys. Question. Buck, marry, kill Nathan Fielder, Ira Glass, and Michael Barbaro. Okay, bye.

[Matt Rogers]

This is an amazing question. I want to have sex with Michael Barbaro.

[Bowen Yang]

That is crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

I think I would unfortunately have to kill Nathan Fielder just because I think being married to him would be really difficult.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally.

[Matt Rogers]

And so I guess by default, I'm marrying Ira Glass, which sounds like a really nice, stable life, and I think we'd have a nice home.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and fuck Nathan Fielder, marry Ira Glass, kill Michael Barbaro.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow, look at us. You don't want to have sex with Michael. Barbara.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't.

[Matt Rogers]

Here's what else you need to know today.

[Bowen Yang]

I actually have really. I really have moved on to different white male news podcasters.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I mean, I don't really listen to the Daily anymore, but there's still something about him.

[Bowen Yang]

Yep. You've seen the photo of him on the yellow couch, right?

[Matt Rogers]

Of course.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, that's legendary.

[Matt Rogers]

Legend.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, next call.

[Caller]

Hi, gay guys. This is Juliana. I'm calling with more of an alert than a question, but since the prominence of context queen, my friend has invented a little extender of that, which is the context pill. And when someone needs a context pill, they need to be given context. They are woefully without context, but they also typically don't want to take a context pill. So we'll be like, she needs a context pill. We need to hide a context pill and a piece of cheese to get her to get context. Would love your thoughts on that as a phrase and as always. Love ya.

[Bowen Yang]

Bye. Wait, Sam, I do want you. Because again, this is your big talent of coining verbiage. I want you very quickly to talk about the context diva and what she is.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, context diva was something from our San Francisco show from SF Sketchfest, where we were. We were like asking for more context. And anytime we would say something and trying to clarify the context, we would point to one person and be like, you're the context queen. You're the context diva.

[Bowen Yang]

And she started it. She, like started yelling out, context, remember?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's it, that's it, that's it. And we were like, context diva. Right?

[Bowen Yang]

She always knew the context for something and she.

[Matt Rogers]

And then she ended up being a public notary.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, that's exactly right. So she was the context diva. Then we got into this whole thing about how, like, there should be a democratically elected context diva. Like, it should be a cabinet position. It's someone whose job it is, when context is lacking, to pipe up and give context.

[Matt Rogers]

Absolutely. And I love the idea of a context pill.

[Bowen Yang]

I really like it.

[Matt Rogers]

That is so funny. And I very much understand how bitter a context pill can taste like, put it in peanut butter for me. Because when, I don't know context and it actually, like, undermines what I'm saying, that's gonna hurt a bit.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. And I actually think there's another issue in our society, which is that often we're actually over prescribed context pills. And that happens when someone. It's like your friend who's too woke. You know what I mean? It's like me saying, oh, I'm entering the house. And then someone being like, you know, some people can't enter.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, my God, you're being so correct right now. That's so smart.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's like to say that sometimes we're overprescribed. The context pill doesn't mean we're against the context pill. It means there is like a time and a place for it.

[Matt Rogers]

It means talk to your doctor.

[Bowen Yang]

It means talk to your doctor to find out if the context pill is right for You.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, because you might be on too high of a dosage.

[Bowen Yang]

And it does get to a point where if you're on too high of a dosage, you become paralyzed because all you can see is context and not the thing at hand. You cannot. You literally can't see the forest for the trees.

[Matt Rogers]

Literally. Honey, it gets so hard to come.

[Bowen Yang]

No, the context. I really love the idea of the context pill. And I'm actually smelling merch.

[Matt Rogers]

This episode is really making me be like, damn, we do have a lot of phrases.

[Bowen Yang]

I know.

[Matt Rogers]

We are one of those podcasts that comes up with a lot of phrases.

[Bowen Yang]

And they're endlessly generative.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, they actually are really helpful frameworks to see the world.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, again, our main job is creating frameworks. Of course, we. That is, those are our roots. It is creating theoretical frameworks that you can apply to anything in your life.

[Matt Rogers]

If. If we aren't creating frameworks, we're dead.

[Bowen Yang]

Literally. So take that context pill. Okay, let's see. Okay. Our minions, gay are straight, and is HBO Max changing its name gay or straight? Quickly.

[Matt Rogers]

Go, minions. I'm going to say gay and HBO Max. I'm going to say. That's very. I think it's straight, actually.

[Bowen Yang]

Really? You think HBO Max changing his name back and forth is straight?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, because I think it's, like, sort of not being able to commit.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a percent.

[Matt Rogers]

It's being like. Like, oh, I'm going to be crazy. Like, it's. It's very Demi Lovato being like, I'm they. Them. And then be like, actually, never mind.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, if HBO Max was actually queer, it would change its name to Esmeralda.

[Matt Rogers]

And everyone would respect that.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, next question.

[Caller]

Hi, George and Sam. I was curious, what percentage of guests that you've had on have y' all slept with?

[Bowen Yang]

And let me say something about this context diva. You know, she's saying fag hag.

[Matt Rogers]

And she should.

[Bowen Yang]

And she should. Okay, I can.

[Matt Rogers]

First of all, this is an amazing, amazing question, and it's so juicy that I just was like, well, we at least have to play it. I'm now scrolling through the list of our guests just to see.

[Bowen Yang]

I believe my count is. I don't know, percentage, but I believe my count is three. Really? And I'm using sleep with pretty liberally. I would say anything that I would describe as, like, a hookup.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, let me see. I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling. I'm scrolling. I have one. So let's start there. That's good. As I'm Scrolling. I'm trying to think who your three are. Okay, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling. What if I only have one? How pitiful. What a loser.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm texting you my three. Okay, well, and I'm counting that Second one is a stretched account, but you can also count that one.

[Matt Rogers]

I've traded nudes with one.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, well, if we're going. If we're going nudes, we're going to have to take a different context, Bill.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, I literally think mine is just one. Hold on, I'm still scrolling.

[Bowen Yang]

Is it the one we share? No.

[Matt Rogers]

So I guess that's two. But we didn't really hook up. I feel like we, like, made out that.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, same. That's why I'm saying it's a stretch to count that one.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, then in that case, I can.

[Bowen Yang]

Then you have two and I have three. We're using the queer definition where making out counts.

[Matt Rogers]

We're making out counts. Okay, just double. I'm triple checking because honesty is so important. We have a lot of people I'd like to hook up with. Oh, wait. Nope. That one counts. So now I'm at three.

[Bowen Yang]

Wait, send them to me. All right. I actually think we have to move on.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. But three. We both have three.

[Bowen Yang]

We both have three. That's really amazing.

[Matt Rogers]

That's really awesome. And only one overlap.

[Bowen Yang]

And only one overlap. And that overlap is the least sexual.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's the one that's a stretch for both of us.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a stretch for both of us. Okay.

[Caller]

Hi, Sam and George. This is Danny and Peter. A question that we have is in the year 800. What would your role be in the Village? A couple of the answers that we've had before is taste tester for the king. Our friend has celiac's disease and is constantly shooting his pants, so everybody thinks he's poisoning. We've also had Poop catcher.

[Matt Rogers]

Both poop related. I'm picking up on a theme. I don't know. I mean, ideally, I would be sort of a prince.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And I would be unemployed for the. For the most part. I'd have a wife. But I would, of course, hook up with my. The man who dressed me every morning.

[Bowen Yang]

Ooh. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And that's pretty much my deal.

[Bowen Yang]

So you're. You want to be a prince?

[Matt Rogers]

I think I'm prince.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Because I'm either prince or I'm dead. Like, I don't have the. The chutzpah to, you know, thrive in this type of environment.

[Bowen Yang]

I believe ultimately I would be, you know, I would be a columnist. I think that I would be trying to put together a zine on papyrus or rock or stones or whatever was available. And I think I would not be good enough at not making the right enemy or at not making the wrong enemies. And I think I'd be really successful for two years. And then I would get murdered. I would get executed, basically, in the town square.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, that would be fun. I would definitely show up to that.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I would also be really obsessed with being upwardly mobile, but it's like, that's not possible in these times. I would think I'd be the first one to live the American dream in the year 800. Okay, next question.

[Matt Rogers]

This is a groundbreaking episode.

[Caller]

Hi, divas. I was wondering if you've been to the new gay bar Playhouse, and if you have a review, say studio.

[Bowen Yang]

Bye. So you haven't?

[Matt Rogers]

I have not. This is a new gay bar.

[Bowen Yang]

I honestly didn't realize it was new. I mean, I went, like, two years ago. Am I crazy? Hold on. I'm looking this up. I'm looking this up.

[Matt Rogers]

Playhouse, New York City.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, regardless of whether it's new or not, I have been once with Josh Sharp, and I had the time of my damn life. Our dear friend Izzy Uncut was performing. She absolutely ate down. It was, like, the perfect level of crowded. It's a cute space. I thought the crowd was fun. Ultimately, it's not, like, where I want to go every Friday night. I would say it exists in this midway point between. On the one end, you have something like Julius, which is so vintage and cool that it's like, it will never be lame. And then on the other end, you have a Marie's crisis, which is so musical theater and old queen and piano that it's like camp.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Playhouse is, like, in the middle, so it kind of could go either way. Does that make sense?

[Matt Rogers]

That makes sense.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not, like, cool enough to be cool, but it's not, like, embarrassing enough to be reclaimed.

[Matt Rogers]

Would you say it's Philly?

[Bowen Yang]

It is Philly.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay. Playhouse is Philly.

[Bowen Yang]

But I. Again, I had a really great time there, and I would go back. And in fact, I now want to go back.

[Matt Rogers]

I went to the most Philly restaurant this morning.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. What was it?

[Matt Rogers]

It's called, like, La Mille or something. But it was like, the decor was like, where did you find this? Like, it was like a weird. Like, I was in a mall or, like, a bank lobby or something.

[Bowen Yang]

There's like, no time for this. But, you know, I just got back from Denver.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, wow.

[Bowen Yang]

We actually need to discuss this. Maybe we'll discuss it on Patreon, but. So fans might remember our second episode ever, the topic was Denver. Max's topic was Denver. His straight topic. Obviously, at that time, we would never actually talk about the straight topic, so if you go back, you're not going to find any insights about the city of Denver. But as a straight topic, it was so perfectly chosen because it really is the most heterosexual city I've ever been to.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

It is like, everything you think of as kind of 2010s gentrification chic. Like, the beer hall, the converted warehouse, the coffee shop that is a refurbished store. You know what I mean? Like, the, like, giant market hall that has a bunch of different food courts in it. Like, that is the entire city. It's crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

Sometimes in a place like that, it can be a little bit erotic because you're like, this is so straight. There must be, like, a seedy underground. Like, people are, like, hooking up a sly. Did you feel any, like, seedy undertone? Did you pop onto sniffies or something?

[Bowen Yang]

I should have. I mean, I. I didn't, because there was literally no way it would have. I was there with two friends, and we were there for, like, 48 hours, and, like, I was not gonna hook up, and so I didn't. I will say my feelings about the city aside, I loved the people. Like, everyone. It was this weird thing where everything seemed so bland, but then the food was great, the people were nice. Like, it wasn't like other cities, which I won't name, where you're like, oh, my God, like, get me out of here. Why is nothing working? Like, why can't I go to a coffee shop and get a croissant? Like, everywhere we went, like, it was good, because, again, it's like. It's this gentrification vibe. Like, it's like, getting new blood to the area, getting the coffee shops, getting the concert venues. Like, it was good where it needed to be, but then you couldn't take a walk.

[Matt Rogers]

That's interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Anyway, don't. Whatever. Don't get mad at me. Okay. All right, well, here's. Here's one. Here's. Here's one.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, and here's one for sure.

[Caller]

Hey, guys. I wanted to call in and see what you guys think about bald guys. Bald gay guys in particular.

[Bowen Yang]

I recently gave in and shaved my.

[Caller]

Head, and I am having a hard time adjusting to it, but I think it looks good overall.

[Bowen Yang]

So just what do you think about 29 year old gay men who are bald?

[Caller]

Do people respect me? I think it looks good. But I want to know what you think, especially George, as somebody with great hair. That goes for the buzz cut. I'm interested in why. Love you guys.

[Bowen Yang]

What do you think?

[Matt Rogers]

I think bald is very hot. I think it's complex, of course, because it's like losing one's hair is always like jarring because you're like. But like when you meet someone who is bald, you like don't know them from having hair and so you're like, you look great like. But I see the losing can be traumatic and weird.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like one of those things like height that it's like no matter where we are in acceptance, it's going to be an internalized stigma.

[Matt Rogers]

It's also because of like drugs and stuff that are now like make it possible to have it be a little more optional. It is like it's, we're at an interesting place with it where it's like, do you like fight? Do you fight like hell and be like, I'm gonna keep my hair at all costs or are you like, like it is sort of like I'm, I'm going to be a bald guy. Like there's something of like I'm gonna do that now that is, it's interesting. I like almost like bald guys are almost like going extinct in a way. Like you watch shows from like the 90s and you're like, like main characters are bald. Whereas like now if you watch a show, they ain't having a bald guy on tv.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, and I think it's as you said, it's actually, this is related to Spindrift. I think you can have a fully bald man on TV and you can have a fully not bald man on tv. What you don't get anymore that you got in the 70s and 80s is a balding man. Like just fully, you know, again, someone who like has less hair on top because he is in the process of balding that at some point was, it was decided that was not allowed to be on screen.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it's annoying. I find a bald spot to be very hot. It's like so masculine to me.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally, totally. It's very masculine. Yeah. It's funny because people think of balding, the stigma is that it's somehow emasculating when in fact it is the most masculine thing you can have.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it's very sexy.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, one of my big crushes, Corey Stoll, is bald.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's true.

[Bowen Yang]

I will say on a personal level, because I grew up with a bald dad. My dad has been fully bald since he was like 25. Like legitimately, like I don't, I haven't even seen like maybe he was balding in his early 20s. But like as far back as photos go, especially photos with me being alive, he is fully bald. And so it is difficult not to associate baldness with my dad. Which then makes it challenging on a sexual attraction level.

[Matt Rogers]

Sure. That's interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

It's like I'm like, what is that the equivalent for you? I don't know, you're like the opposite of Freud. I know.

[Matt Rogers]

Literally you should kind of find it more hot.

[Bowen Yang]

I know. And I guess I go back and forth. It's not like I don't, it's not like I don't find it hot, but I, but there is just something. And it was also always such a joke. Like he was always so self deprecating about. It was always like, like a thing that he was bald. It was like, you know, he'd go to the, you know, cuz he has hair like in the back of his head. He would like go get a haircut. He'd be like, I need a haircut. And my mom would be like, do you like where, like show me, show me where they're going to cut their hair. You know, it was such a, such a ongoing joke. It's like if like you have like a fat dad and all the jokes are about how he's fat or something.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I think it's a, it is one of the, It's a tough one.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. But to answer this listener's question, like no one is thinking. No, there is no one that's being like, oh God, he's bald. Yeah, bald is in.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you want to talk about your hair journey with. Since he asked, like you choose the buzz cut.

[Bowen Yang]

So first of all, I actually do have great hair, objectively. But because it is so unwieldy and thick, it sort of. It looks like politician hair when it grows out. Like I look like Rod Blagojev. It's just very thick. It grows out in all directions and I've just never been good at taking care of it or knowing what product to use or knowing where to go to get a good haircut. And I actually think I look fine with a buzzed head. I genuinely like how I look and so it just is easier, it's cheaper and I don't have to think about it. And that's sort of my but then occasionally, honestly I was thinking about this when I was looking at get recent photos of Pedro Pascal who I do think has potentially opted to not be bald. But I was like damn, he has some great hair. Maybe I should grow my hair out and have a nice little poof.

[Matt Rogers]

If anyone could figure it out, it's you.

[Bowen Yang]

Stop it. But anyway, that's my journey.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, let's do a last call. Get your mother loving ears on because your big time radio DJs got news. PayPal lets you choose how you want to pay for all the stuff. With PayPal I can pay in store, pay online, or pay over time. What's that? You want this translated into song? I hope you're sitting down. You can pay your own way. You keep those easy, you hear?

[Caller]

Don't just pay baby.

[Bowen Yang]

PayPal learn [e-mail] it's true that some.

[Caller]

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[Bowen Yang]

Of cops and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no. Across the country, cops called this Taser the Revolution. But not everyone was convinced it was that simple.

[Matt Rogers]

Cops believed everything that Taser told them.

[Bowen Yang]

From Lava for good and the team that brought you Bone Valley comes a story about what happened when a multi billion dollar company dedicated itself to one visionary mission. This is Absolute Season 1 Taser Incorporated.

[Matt Rogers]

I get right back there and it's bad.

[Bowen Yang]

It's really, really really bad. Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season 1 Taser incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Binge episodes 1, 2 and 3 on May 21 and episodes 4, 5 and 6 on June 4 ad free at Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts. I'm Clayton English.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm Greg Lodd. And this is season two of the War on Drugs podcast. Sir, we are back in a big.

[Bowen Yang]

Way, in a very big way. Real people, real perspectives.

[Matt Rogers]

This is kind of star studded a little bit, man.

[Bowen Yang]

We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman trophy winner.

[Matt Rogers]

It's just the compassionate choice to allow players all reasonable means to care for themselves.

[Bowen Yang]

Music stars Marcus King, John Osborne from Brothers Osborne.

[Matt Rogers]

We have this misunderstanding of what this.

[Bowen Yang]

Quote unquote drug thing is. Benny the Butcher, Brent Smith from Shinedown. Got be real from Cypress Hill, NHL enforcer Riley Cote. Marine Corps vet MMA fighter Liz Caramouche. What we're doing now isn't working and we need to change things.

[Matt Rogers]

Stories matter and it brings a face to them.

[Bowen Yang]

It makes it real. It really does. It makes it real. Listen to new episodes of the War on Drugs Podcast Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app. Apple Podcasts are where you wherever you get your podcast. And to hear episodes one week early and ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to Lava For Good plus on Apple Podcast.

[Caller]

Hey, divas. What is up? It is I, Abraham from Alaska. I was actually in Denver this weekend and I saw George that you were here too, and my brother went to the same rock show and I was coming here to you, but he did not. My question is like, what's to do with taking shirt off in the clubs? This is like the gay bar. The gay club, right? Like, what is that? Last Friday I was at X Bar and it seemed there was a group of guys being kind of rowdy with their shirts off. And I was kind of talking to them, like, they all seem so straight. Do gay guys not take their shirts off because their outfits are just too immaculate? Like, what's going on there? All right, thank you, guys. Love you.

[Matt Rogers]

Bye.

[Bowen Yang]

So this is like a really confusing call.

[Matt Rogers]

I have to say. I'm mostly confused.

[Bowen Yang]

I think we can answer it.

[Matt Rogers]

I think we're going to take. We're going to make our own question.

[Bowen Yang]

We're going to make our own question. I also think I. I maybe can't hear part of what he's saying at the end because I'm like, I was right there with him. I'm like, okay, we're answering a question about why gay guys take their shirts off at bars. But then he was like, I was at Akbar, and straight guys took their shirts off at the bar.

[Matt Rogers]

Did he say he's at Akbar?

[Bowen Yang]

I thought he did. Hold on.

[Matt Rogers]

But he's from Alaska.

[Caller]

Friday, I was at X Bar and.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, sorry. I was at X Bar. He is censoring the name of the bar. He was not at Akbar.

[Matt Rogers]

Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, got it. So, all right, Sam, actually, I would like you to take this.

[Matt Rogers]

So I'm gonna discuss vaguely what it means to take your shirt off at a bar. Yeah, so I have a really complex relationship with it because I actually find it fun and such a, like. Like, gay tradition to be like, we're all shirtless dancing. That is so fun and throwback. But then it does get into, like, toxic territory very quickly, where then you're, like, seeing all these bodies and all the bodies are, like, the same, and you're like, wait, now I feel gross. Like, now I feel the competition. Now I feel the, like, self consciousness. And like, in a way where I'm like, it's supposed to feel like, wow, like, bodies on bodies on bodies. But instead it's like, it, like, almost gets, like, militaristic and, like, unsexy. So I personally am, like, very torn on whether or not to take my shirt off at a bar, I think, like, so there's this party, the summer party here in LA called Bears in Space, which is so to die for. And it happens, like, once a month in the summer at in the Akbar parking lot. And that's a really fun. Like, everyone takes their shirts off because it's hot out, and it's like a summer daytime party. And it's like. But it's all different types of bodies, and it's not like, like a circuit party. It's just sort of like, mingling with loud music with your shirt off, and it's, like, fun. And so that one feels, like, more ethical, but then the other one, like, I've been at parties where it's like. Like, I had my shirt off. And then I saw the other types of people that had their shirt off and they had those muscle, muscle bodies. And I was like, wait, I hate this. I don't want to be associated with them. I don't know. That's how I feel.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's like. It's sort of. It's almost. If you zoom out a little bit, it's almost like you can appreciate it as just an encapsulation of the gay guy experience where you're like, this push and Pull between feeling liberated and feeling completely insecure and marginalized. That is just the day to day experience of being in community with gay men. And I think oftentimes people focus on only one of those elements. It's like either the story is that you persevered and you self actualized or the story is like, oh God, poor me, I'm not the thing that I'm supposed to be and so I don't fit into this community. And I unfortunately think anywhere you are and no matter what your different sub identity is, it just is part of the experience of being gay to feel both. Because the thing you realize as you meet these muscle guys is they are the most insecure of all of us. And that's not all of them, but many of them. That is why in fact they are so like, they work so hard and they plan often their entire life around looking a certain way.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what I will say I always have fun at, I would say an underwear party. I actually find sort of the proper level of silly. I find that an underwear party has more humility than a shirtless party. Whereas shirtless is sort of like you're just like, look at my muscles sometimes. And an underwear party is more like, this is kind of embarrassing. Like we're all in our underwear.

[Bowen Yang]

I disagree.

[Matt Rogers]

Really?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I think underwear underwear stresses me out more. I don't like, I really don't honestly don't like wearing a drop strap. Like there's just something I would much rather. And also if you're the only one not in his underwear at an underwear party, you stick out way more than if you're the only one in like a T shirt at a shirtless party. And I'm sort of like, if I go into a shirtless party, depending on how good I feel, depending on how, what my mood is, maybe I can take my shirt off. Maybe I can keep it on. Maybe I can like sort of have like a little fanny pack over my, over my torso and be halfway through, halfway there. But like there is something. I feel trapped in an underwear party.

[Matt Rogers]

Interesting. I feel so settled in. There's something where I'm like, we're all, we have to. We're all. It's like mutually. It's mutual destruction. Is that that thing where you're like, we're all the same level of like embarrassed right now?

[Bowen Yang]

I guess I see, I see what you're saying. But I think if everyone agreed that that would be the vibe, then I would like it. But then you see people that have like laser eyes and they're, like, so G'd out and, like, looking for something specific. And you're like, oh, no, why can't. Why are you not being fun?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's interesting. I want to just briefly touch on the idea that straight guys take their shirts off and gay guys don't. Because I understand. I think I understand the vibe this person is going for, which is like, almost like a tailgate adjacent, like, guy that's like, come on, and then, like, rips his shirt off, like, that kind of thing. But my answer to that would just be, I promise you, gay guys are taking their shirts off as well.

[Matt Rogers]

They're gonna go ahead and be taking their shirts off. Yeah. I will say, when I was in college, my straight guy friend group, we would famous. We would take our shirts off all the time at parties because we thought it was funny and it was kind of crazy in retrospect. It was weird.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow, this is making me excited for summer.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. No, summer. Oh, my God. I had a pool day and it was to die for. I got that summer feeling.

[Bowen Yang]

Did you have a pool day at your pool or someone else? Yeah, Damn. And, you know, I had people over for Eurovision. We both had things. I was like. I was like. Actually, someone was like, you guys should talk about Eurovision. I was like, damn, next year maybe I'll make Sam watch and then we can talk.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm ready. I'm ready to watch.

[Bowen Yang]

But. But no. When you were talking to me last week about how you're going to have people over at your pool, I was so jealous. What did you. Did you end up doing gay guys, mixed co workers.

[Matt Rogers]

Very, very small list of gay co workers.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, interesting.

[Matt Rogers]

And then, like, random gay guys.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, so gay guys.

[Matt Rogers]

But I didn't go, like. I didn't go very wide with it, like. And I didn't go, like, comedy with it. I went like, just like, gay guys.

[Bowen Yang]

Totally.

[Matt Rogers]

But it was. It was. It was really fun.

[Bowen Yang]

And actually I did that. So when I had people who are for Eurovision, Josh was the only comedian in.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

If you can believe that.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, I love comedians. Let's start there.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's start there.

[Matt Rogers]

But it is. The way they socialize is, like, frantic and, like, all the wrong instincts.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, also, it makes me not be at my best sometimes, too.

[Matt Rogers]

I. I completely join in. I'm like, yeah, like, I'm. Comedians love to gather where they're not supposed to. They love to, like, just be in, like, the doorway of the entrance. And it's like, no, come have be part of this. You're part of this. It's so crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

They're always. They always have to be in the core. They always have to be in the minority. They have to be in a corner observing.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

And they are never actually part of the space that they're in. They are always. Fran Liebowitz.

[Matt Rogers]

They are literally the kids at an adult party at all times. 100% have to give them their own table. They need their own room. Like, sometimes they need like their own drink station. It is like. It's embarrassing.

[Bowen Yang]

It's embarrassing. And of course, it's also beautiful because it, you know, it gives you an excuse to be a child forever.

[Matt Rogers]

That's true. I mean, never forget your Christmas party where we all. The comedy room.

[Bowen Yang]

That Christ was literally a whole room that was just the comedians and everyone else was just at a normal holiday party.

[Matt Rogers]

That was so funny.

[Bowen Yang]

Arguably also happened at my wedding.

[Matt Rogers]

That's true. That is true. And they have a way of making you feel like you're missing out. Like when I was like, you know, talking to your parents, out of the corner of my eye, I see all the comedians talking. I go, oh, I bet they're having so much fun. I'm a fucking loser over here.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God. Wow. This episode was amazing.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Start to finish. I think I'm going to be thinking about expired quirk a lot.

[Bowen Yang]

Expired quirk, context pillow, context pill.

[Matt Rogers]

Denver.

[Bowen Yang]

Denver. Which heim sister is Boston, San Francisco or dc? A rural lesbian calling us to ask her what she should know about culture.

[Matt Rogers]

That's awesome.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, the fag hag discussion. I'm like, this is one of our best call in shows in forever.

[Matt Rogers]

And reminder, you can always call in at 385gay guys and leave a voicemail. And we're gonna do these intermittently. So.

[Bowen Yang]

And we.

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

And we do them on the Patreon even more frequently. You can always join that by going to patreon.com stradiolab and I just want.

[Matt Rogers]

To say thanks for listening.

[Bowen Yang]

And I want to agree. I want to agree with Sam in his gratitude for your listenership.

[Matt Rogers]

And I feel like we. I keep wanting to be like. Like I have this urge to say.

[Bowen Yang]

Something, to announce something.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Be like. And check us out.

[Bowen Yang]

We'll explore. I know.

[Matt Rogers]

And it's like, well, we don't actually have anything to announce.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Not.

[Bowen Yang]

But we will.

[Matt Rogers]

But we will.

[Bowen Yang]

And I just want to say have a great summer.

[Matt Rogers]

Seriously, you guys, it's here. It's pretty much here. And George, have an amazing time in Italy.

[Bowen Yang]

Thank you. I hope that your flights are an amazing time. Cleaning your room.

[Matt Rogers]

My room. My room is the dirtiest it's ever been. It's crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

This is going to hurt when we go on tour. I'm giving you a deadline. You got to have TSA PreCheck before we leave for tour.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I gotta figure that. Well, I'm about to be unemployed, so I'll have a lot of time to figure it out.

[Bowen Yang]

I literally procrastinated on it for a full 10 years of my life. Got global entry, which includes pre check. I just traveled to Denver, used it for the first time to not feel like cattle. To just like. It's like I'm cosplaying. 1997 pre 911 airport experience.

[Matt Rogers]

That's amazing. I can't imagine what that's like.

[Bowen Yang]

It's nuts.

[Matt Rogers]

Even at jfk, I feel like there's no way to not feel like cattle there.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, listen, you're always kind of feeling like cattle, but you're definitely feeling like upper middle class cattle.

[Matt Rogers]

Hey, I'll take it. I'm a prize pig.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Love ya.

[Matt Rogers]

Love ya.

[Bowen Yang]

Bye.

[Matt Rogers]

Podcast ends now.

[Bowen Yang]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.

[Matt Rogers]

Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[Bowen Yang]

Now get back to work.

[Matt Rogers]

Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money players network and iHeart.

[Bowen Yang]

Podcasts, created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

[Matt Rogers]

Executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and.

[Bowen Yang]

Olivia Aguilar Co produced by Bay Wang.

[Matt Rogers]

Edited and engineered by Adam Avalos Artwork.

[Bowen Yang]

By Michael Fails and Matt Grubb Theme.

[Matt Rogers]

Music by Ben Kling Foreign.

[Bowen Yang]

This is Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

[Matt Rogers]

This podcast is sponsored by PayPal.

[Bowen Yang]

All right, readers, Katie's publicist finalist, Kyle's it's time to talk about one of the most iconic payment brands out there. That's right, it's PayPal. PayPal lets you do you meaning you can pay your own way.

[Matt Rogers]

PayPal offers people flexibility on how they can pay.

[Bowen Yang]

Once you click the PayPal button, you.

[Matt Rogers]

Can choose from a bun payment options.

[Bowen Yang]

Including paying later with PayPal at millions of online stores. Iconic pay in store, pay online pay over time. Don't just pay PayPal.

[Caller]

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