StraightioLab – “The First Look” w/ Kate Berlant
Podcast: StraightioLab
Hosts: George Civeris, Sam Taggart
Guest: Kate Berlant
Release Date: January 20, 2026
Episode Overview
In this episode, comedians George Civeris and Sam Taggart are joined by comedian, actor, and writer Kate Berlant to examine "the first look"—an emotionally charged, highly ritualized moment in modern straight weddings. The discussion spins outward, unpacking the theatricality of weddings, wellness and everyday rituals, LA vs. NY social codes, and the performative contradictions at the core of straight culture. The episode is candid, sharp, and familiar in its humor: a wry, affectionate, and sometimes exasperated look at social rituals and the strange comfort and stress they provide.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Post-Glamor Comedown & LA vs. NY Vibes
[04:00-06:30]
- George describes the surreal experience of living “a month in LA,” attending the Globes (in the overflow room), and feeling both glamorous and out of place.
- “I was feeling the fantasy of being like, it’s normal for me to be in all these, like, spaces with famous people.” – George [04:30]
- Kate jokes about waiting for podcast hosts’ cues: “I never know if I can talk yet.” [05:26]
- Banter about recognizing celebrity traits—wigs, extensions, and the small luxuries stars fly across the country for (e.g., “flying to LA for my dentist or extensions”).
Wellness Hacks and Preparedness Paradoxes
[08:04-13:25]
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The trio discusses health anxieties and modern wellness obsessions—IV drips, immunity hacks, and the evidence (or lack thereof) for their efficacy.
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Kate shares a daily wellness tip from Huberman: swishing water first thing for immunity, though everyone is skeptical it's more than just drinking water.
- “Wake up, swish, swallow.” – Kate [13:33]
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Quick digression into the cultural mystique and controversies around Andrew Huberman, with nods to podcast scandals.
Instagram, Protein Bars & the “Bubble”
[17:31-21:35]
- Kate confesses 25 days without Instagram and the cycles of influence—how even low-level influencers serve as “trusted sources” for lifestyle choices.
- A debate on the place of protein bars versus “whole foods” in daily routines.
- Briefly, they reflect on New York vs LA wedding crashers and the blurred etiquette around parties and social events (“crasher is a strong word, but…”).
Crashing Weddings & Changing Social Norms
[22:55-27:01]
- Humorous retelling of Kate crashing George’s wedding afterparty.
- “I didn’t ask. It’s actually completely unacceptable behavior. And if I were in your shoes, I’d be like, no.” – Kate [23:27]
- Weddings in NYC as porous, with people blurring boundaries—sometimes for the better, sometimes just for the burgers.
Wedding Venues, LA Options & Community
[27:01-29:54]
- The significance of specific venues (Julius in NY, Metropolitan, Bernie's), and the vanishing nature of queer/alternative spaces.
- “Things are closing left and right... It’s all gone.” – George [27:31]
- Reflection on the impossibility of replicating a NY-style wedding in LA.
Straight Shooters: Rapid-Fire Segment
[29:49-31:26]
- The “Straight Shooters” segment—a series of A-or-B word games to probe Kate’s “complicity in straight culture.”
- Kate’s mechanical “A” or “B” replies are noted as “very AI, like ones and zeros”—prompting banter about personality and performance.
The Performance of Small Talk & Wellness in LA
[36:41-41:35]
- Extended analysis of “How are you?” as a ritual greeting in LA—how even the smallest interactions can become sites of over-analysis and emotional policing.
- “You’re supposed to lie. Like everyone else lies. Like, if you even imply some truth of, like, ‘I’m fine’—they’re like, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t do that to me.’” – Sam [36:06]
- George theorizes LA’s everyday “errand culture” as an elaboration of simple tasks into day-consuming rituals (“how robust can we make it... what if it takes up the entire day?”).
Bubble Awareness & Divergence Over Time
[50:53-52:00]
- Realization that even among similar people, opinions and lifestyles can radically diverge over time, leading to “bubble awareness.”
- “I will meet someone, and they’re like, I’m just like you, except I have all different opinions. That doesn’t sit right.” – Sam [51:08]
Featured Topic: “The First Look” in Straight Weddings
[41:51-59:29]
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Kate’s Main Topic: The “first look”—the staged, highly photographed pre-ceremony meeting of bride and groom.
- “It’s a fabricated moment… they have that confrontation, that essential confrontation. And there’s so much in that. There’s such a dense moment. It’s such a dense performance.” – Kate [43:07]
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The trio dissects the gendered and performative expectations:
- The pressure for the groom to visibly “react” (ideally with tears).
- The fact that the visual spectacle (“bride’s dress, makeup”) is mainly for the woman and the camera.
- “What the woman is wanting is for him to act excited about these things she has worked hard to get.” – George [47:00]
- The “first look” as “the turn,” a kind of contract or state recognition: “It’s your husband. It’s the tap. It’s actually being recognized by the state. It’s—gotcha.” – Kate [58:22]
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Sam introduces the “prank” genre: best man dresses as bride for the reveal “first look,” which combines prank culture, gender essentialism, and “the look”—and the group hilariously recoils.
Wedding Rituals, Group Dynamics & Guest List Trauma
[52:24-56:14]
- Harrowing tales of guest list management—balancing friend groups, family obligations, and social guilt.
- “You’re in it, and then you come out, you’re like, oh, I guess I didn’t invite the person I love the most ... because they weren’t part of a group.” – George [54:12]
- LGBTQ and straight weddings seen through the lens of “ritual submission” and the stress involved.
Performative Contradictions, Theatricality & Authenticity
[57:13-59:22]
- The critical paradox: “first looks” and wedding rituals are so on-the-nose theatrical that analysis seems almost unnecessary, yet these performances are also the site of authenticity and communal joy.
- “Can we delight in theater? Of course. Can we be transformed through theater? Yes… Just you’re not gonna have an authentic, raw experience at something where you’ve planned, like—but you can.” – Kate [59:21]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On wedding etiquette:
“There’s something about seeing a normal person who wasn’t at the ceremony … being like, right, get out. Makes me angry on both of you for even—for even...” – Kate [25:17] -
On bubble awareness and wedding trends:
“If you want to feel insane, Google ‘gay men wedding suits.’ We’re talking one turquoise, one purple.” – George [63:01] -
On greetings and emotional honesty:
“You’re supposed to lie. Like everyone else lies ... if you even imply some truth of, like, ‘I’m fine’—they’re like, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t do that to me.’” – Sam [36:06] -
On the meaning of ritual in weddings:
“These are the things that punctuate our lives that give meaning. Stressful.” – Kate [51:32] -
On wedding humor:
“Straight weddings are humorless … the jokes are never work. I mean, I’m being hyperbolic, of course. But it’s like, it’s all ‘doesn’t he suck?’ … and that she’s the boss of the house.” – Kate [72:06]
Important Segments & Timestamps
- LA Week, Golden Globes, and Celebrity Rituals: [04:00–07:00]
- Wellness/Fake Science/Podcast Culture: [08:04–14:19]
- Instagram Fasts, Protein Bar Discourse: [17:31–20:08]
- Wedding Crashing and Party Norms: [22:55–26:26]
- Straight Shooters Segment: [29:49–31:26]
- LA “How Are You?” and Bubble Life: [36:41–41:51]
- The “First Look” Deep Dive: [41:51–59:29]
- Guest List & Ritual Stress (LGBTQ and Family): [52:24–56:14]
- Reflections on Theatricality & Authentic Performance: [57:13–59:29]
- Weddings: Sit-Down Dinner or Not, AV Issues: [65:00–67:25]
- Humor at Weddings: [71:07–73:10]
Shout Outs & End Segment
- Sam: Shouts out 30 Rock: “It is aging like a fine wine.” [76:12–77:02]
- George: Shouts out Hedda, a Sapphic retelling of Hedda Gabler: “One of the best actresses I’ve ever seen on screen or stage.” [77:02–78:32]
- Kate: Shouts out the film Margaret by Kenneth Lonergan: “They don’t make them like that.” [78:34–79:18]
Overall Tone & Style
Wry, rapid-fire, and intellectually playful, the episode has the loose intimacy of close friends volleying observations both silly and profound. The hosts and guest alternate between sincere cultural critique and joyful, sometimes exasperated, acceptance of straight rituals: laughing at performative absurdity, but recognizing the meaning rituals provide. There’s acute attention to how performance, community, and tradition mesh and clash across social divides—especially weddings—and a warmth for their queer, “bubble” vantage point (even as they gently roast themselves).
For Further Engagement
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Kate Berlant:
- Instagram: @kateberlant (despite abstaining)
- Podcast: Poog
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StraightioLab:
This episode is particularly recommended for anyone bemused by modern marriage rituals, obsessed with social performance, and interested in the intersection of straight and queer cultures—with lots of laughter along the way.