"The Paper Goods and Cleaning Aisle" w/ Liza Treyger

Summary

Podcast Summary: StraightioLab – "The Paper Goods and Cleaning Aisle" featuring Liza Treyger

Episode Information

• Title: StraightioLab
• Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Episode Title: "The Paper Goods and Cleaning Aisle"
• Guest: Liza Treyger
• Release Date: January 28, 2025

Introduction

In the January 28, 2025 episode of StraightioLab, hosts George Severis and Sam Taggart delve into the often-overlooked realm of straight culture with their guest, acclaimed comedian Liza Treyger. The episode, aptly titled "The Paper Goods and Cleaning Aisle," explores the cultural significance, environmental impact, and societal expectations tied to everyday household items typically found in grocery stores.

---

Segment 1: The Time Thing (00:02:22 - 00:06:15)

George opens the episode by discussing the unique recording approach of StraightioLab, where the intro is often recorded post-episode to maintain spontaneity. Sam elaborates on the challenges of this method, likening it to film acting's non-linear nature versus the linearity of podcasting.

Notable Quotes:

• Sam Taggart [00:03:23]: "This is something that many people do by default because they respect their guests and don't want them sitting there staring at them while they talk to one another."
• Liza Treyger [00:03:28]: "How would they ever understand the tone if they don't?"

The conversation shifts to a humorous comparison of podcasting to acting, with Sam referencing Kristen Stewart's out-of-order filming in Love Lies Bleeding, highlighting the complexity and disorientation akin to managing the "time thing" in podcast recordings.

---

Segment 2: Spotlight on Liza Treyger (00:06:15 - 00:12:50)

Hosts introduce Liza Treyger, praising her upcoming Netflix special titled "Night Owl". They reminisce about past performances and discuss the pressures of maintaining a polished appearance for podcasts and comedy shows. Liza shares her experiences with blowouts and the societal expectations placed on women to present themselves meticulously, even in casual settings.

Notable Quotes:

• Sam Taggart [00:12:33]: "Impulsive person. Yeah."
• Liza Treyger [00:12:14]: "So straight. Like, I looked so bad. I was like, I will never do a podcast without a blowout again."

The discussion touches on the environmental implications of beauty routines and the commercialization of personal appearance, with Liza expressing frustration over the necessity of looking perfect for media appearances.

---

Segment 3: Straight Shooters – Rapid Fire (00:27:26 - 00:43:16)

In the recurring Straight Shooters segment, Liza participates in a rapid-fire game of choosing between nonsensical pairs to test her familiarity with straight culture clichés.

Notable Exchanges:

• Sam Taggart [00:27:53]: "Six inch heels or foot long sub?"
• Liza Treyger [00:27:55]: "Foot long sub."
• Sam Taggart [00:28:03]: "Charlie's Angels or New Jersey Devils?"
• Liza Treyger [00:28:10]: "New Jersey."

The segment humorously highlights the trivial decisions that often symbolize deeper cultural norms and expectations within straight communities.

---

Main Topic: The Paper Goods and Cleaning Aisle (00:41:18 - 00:73:33)

1. Cultural Significance and Gender Roles

The trio discusses the "paper goods and cleaning products aisle" as a symbol of straight domestic roles. They explore how these household items epitomize traditional gender expectations and the division of labor within straight relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Liza Treyger [00:41:50]: "You need it, but it's not really bringing much. But you can't have society without it. You need people procreating. You need paper towels, but it's not actually good for anything and it's bad for the environment."
• Sam Taggart [00:43:16]: "It's the least glamorous aisle for sure. Because you can find in any other aisle, you could at least find one fancy thing."

2. Environmental Impact

The conversation shifts to the environmental footprint of paper goods and cleaning products. Liza expresses concern over the prevalence of single-use plastics and the lack of sustainable practices in the production and disposal of these items.

Notable Quotes:

• Sam Taggart [00:42:13]: "Everything is made of microplastics. Everything is getting thrown out, not recycled."
• Liza Treyger [00:42:21]: "Gripping the paper plates without thought. We just need it easy. Get it in. Get it into the ocean quick."

3. Societal Expectations and Consumerism

George and Sam explore how consumerism drives the continuous demand for paper goods, often at the expense of environmental sustainability. They argue that societal pressures to maintain cleanliness and order perpetuate the cycle of wasteful consumption.

Notable Quotes:

• Sam Taggart [00:53:16]: "There is something in a straight relationship because you are always consciously or not referring back to existing norms. So you're either following norms or breaking norms."

---

Segment 4: Shout Outs (00:65:30 - 00:73:33)

In the Shout Outs segment, the hosts and Liza pay homage to various cultural elements, ranging from the practicality of straws to the innovative concept of intermissions in movies.

Notable Highlights:

• Liza Treyger [00:71:47]: "I started True Blood yesterday. I'm about four episodes in. No one told me it was softcore porn. I've never been hornier in my life."
• Sam Taggart [00:72:19]: "Shout out to intermissions. I don't understand why it doesn't happen more. Hell, put it in a 90-minute rom-com for all I care."

The segment concludes with humorous discussions about the discomforts of modern amenities and the nostalgic yearning for simpler times, blending humor with critical commentary on contemporary culture.

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks to Liza Treyger for her participation and a final reflection on the day's discussions. George, Sam, and Liza acknowledge the complexities of straight culture, the environmental challenges posed by everyday household items, and the persistent societal expectations that shape personal and domestic lives.

Notable Quotes:

• Liza Treyger [00:73:30]: "You guys are amazing. Amazing."
• Sam Taggart [00:73:53]: "Now get back to work."

Final Thoughts

StraightioLab successfully navigates the intricacies of straight culture through witty banter, insightful analysis, and candid conversations with Liza Treyger. The episode emphasizes the pervasive influence of mundane household items in reflecting and reinforcing societal norms, while also addressing broader issues like environmental sustainability and gender roles. Listeners are left with a deeper understanding of the hidden complexities within everyday consumer choices and the cultural narratives they support.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Sam Taggart [00:03:23]: "This is something that many people do by default because they respect their guests and don't want them sitting there staring at them while they talk to one another."
• Liza Treyger [00:41:50]: "You need it, but it's not really bringing much. But you can't have society without it."
• Sam Taggart [00:53:16]: "There is something in a straight relationship because you are always consciously or not referring back to existing norms."
• Liza Treyger [00:71:47]: "I started True Blood yesterday. I'm about four episodes in. No one told me it was softcore porn."

---

Key Insights and Conclusions

1. Symbolism of Household Items: The paper goods and cleaning products aisle serves as a microcosm for examining straight culture's entrenched gender roles and consumerist tendencies.
2. Environmental Concerns: The discussion highlights the significant environmental impact of single-use plastics and the urgent need for sustainable practices.
3. Societal Pressures: There is a persistent societal pressure to adhere to traditional roles, which influences personal behavior and relationship dynamics.
4. Cultural Critique Through Humor: The hosts and Liza utilize humor to critique and unpack the complexities of straight culture, making the conversation both engaging and thought-provoking.
5. Inclusivity and Representation: By featuring Liza Treyger, the episode underscores the importance of diverse voices in dissecting and understanding cultural norms.

Utility for Non-Listeners

For those who haven’t tuned into the episode, this summary provides a comprehensive overview of the key discussions and themes explored. It captures the essence of StraightioLab’s analytical yet humorous approach to dissecting straight culture, offering valuable insights into how everyday consumer choices reflect broader societal constructs.

Transcript

[Advertiser 1]

Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com stop hitting.

[Advertiser 2]

Snooze on new tech. Upgrade the whole [e-mail] Unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 carbon powered by Intel Core Ultra processors so you can work, create and boost productivity all on one device. Win the tech search for business [e-mail] Lenovo Lenovo Foreign.

[Advertiser 1]

Tired of restless nights? At Leesa, they know good sleep is essential for mental, physical and emotional health. From memory foam mattresses to hybrids that keep you cool all night long, Lisa's mattresses offer exceptional comfort and support with free delivery and 100 nights to try out your mattress in the comfort of your home. Go to leesa.com today and get 20% off all mattresses and two free pillows. That's L-E-E-S.com and use code iheart for an extra $50 off your remember, no matter who you are, there's a Lisa just for you.

[Advertiser 3]

At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than a life policy. It's about the promise and the responsibility that comes with being a new parent, being there day and night and building a plan for tomorrow today for the ones you'll always look out for. Trust Amica Life Insurance Amica Empathy is our Best policy.

[George Severis]

Podcast starts now. What is up everyone? Welcome to Stradiolab. Today we are doing that time thing.

[Sam Taggart]

You know, is that time thing. It's such deep lore. I'm like, do people know that time thing?

[George Severis]

For people who don't know, that time thing is when we record, when we play with time, we sort of Greta Gerwig Little Women. We put the intro. We record the intro after we've recorded the episode.

[Sam Taggart]

You know, when we do this, which is rare, I would say we've done it maybe like certainly under 10 times the entire time we've done this podcast. This is something that many people do by default because they respect their guests and don't want them sitting there staring at them while they talk to one another. It's a common thing for other podcasters to respect their guests. It's something that I can't really relate to.

[George Severis]

No, I hear about that, and I get sad.

[Sam Taggart]

Often. We will even have guests request, hey, I'm on a time crunch. Can we maybe not do the part where you talk without speaking to me? And we say, well, that's sort of how we do things around here.

[Lisa Traeger]

Well, it's just like, how would they.

[George Severis]

Ever understand the tone if they don't?

[Lisa Traeger]

Also, we want to give them a.

[George Severis]

Little ammo, something to talk about when they join the call.

[Sam Taggart]

I think it's thank you. I think it's a gift to the guest. And it's sort of like, so if you don't want us to do this, you don't care about the podcast being good. You don't care about what you're walking into.

[George Severis]

So you want us to fail. So you want yourself to fail.

[Sam Taggart]

So you want this to be sort of like a Q and a with the filmmaker without watching the film.

[George Severis]

Okay, well, that's unethical.

[Sam Taggart]

That doesn't make any sense. That would never fly at the New York Film Festival, Toronto Film Festival, Cannes. I've never seen that happen before.

[George Severis]

Maybe it would fly at south by Southwest.

[Lisa Traeger]

That.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, at south by Southwest, they're barely showing films. It's mostly advertisements for new energy drinks. And then Pharrell is there, and he's like, you. I just want everyone to love each other, literally. And then they make that into a little clip.

[George Severis]

Bailing on the bit was amazing, but the point is.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I actually think I landed that plane. Because they do make it into a little clip.

[George Severis]

That's true. They do make it into a little clip.

[Sam Taggart]

The time thing always makes me think it's so hard for us to do the time thing because we are not used to it and because we like things to be linear. But then it makes you think, guess what? You know who does that time thing all the time? Film actors. The fact that, like, I don't know, Kristen Stewart is out there shooting Love Lies Bleeding completely out of order. And that's just the default. And you have to walk in and you have to tell the director. So can you remind me again what did my character just do?

[George Severis]

I find that to be one of the scariest parts about film acting is I'm like, no, no, no. Film it in order. Like, what do you mean?

[Sam Taggart]

And that's the default? It's not like, oh, yes. When it's an especially tough shoot, we have to film it out of order. That is literally the default.

[George Severis]

No, they're like, we filmed the end because that was gonna be the most physically taxing.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes. And the end is where you've been stranded on an island for a full five days and you're finally being saved and you're covered in dirt, and you have to look relieved, and you have to do that without even having the experience of pretending to be on the island.

[George Severis]

You know what this is? Acting is literally going like, pov. You are stranded on island and you are dying and you are blank. And it's like, okay, I'm making a TikTok POV. I am stranded on island. And you're like, ah, that's acting.

[Sam Taggart]

This is why I always. I understand why people say stage acting is harder. Obviously, I get it. However, to play devil's advocate, like, you are doing things in order.

[Lisa Traeger]

You're doing things in order.

[Sam Taggart]

You're doing things in order. You're not wearing any kind of green screen suit with the little beads on it. You are always acting with. With other people and not with an animatronic bull. I don't know. It sounds pretty easy to me. It sounds like living a normal life.

[George Severis]

Stage acting is actually the easiest thing ever.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. That's why you don't get paid anything for it.

[George Severis]

So I love also, this is both that time thing and I also call this marining because we get to record the episode and then get to sort of be like. So this episode with Lisa Traeger was actually really awesome.

[Sam Taggart]

Liza, a great comedian. She has a new Netflix special coming out. It's called Night.

[George Severis]

You know, I've been aware of her shit for a while now. It was really awesome to get to sit down with her.

[Sam Taggart]

I opened for Lisa once in Philly. That was a crazy show. 1997, the Lewinsky scandal was roiling.

[George Severis]

Oh, you know, I had.

[Sam Taggart]

She did an entire set about the dress.

[George Severis]

But that being said, you know, to be honest, George, I'm self conscious about.

[Lisa Traeger]

This episode because I felt like it's.

[George Severis]

That classic thing of when one person's in LA and two people are in New York. And I was like, damn, this is hard to hop in.

[Sam Taggart]

No. And I felt the same way about the next one we recorded. It's tough. But you know what? This is sort of, I would say, similar to that time thing. This is your ch. This is the difference between in person podcasting, which is, of course, stage acting, and zoom podcasting, which is film acting. Whoa.

[George Severis]

Now you're. Now we're getting somewhere.

[Sam Taggart]

Because for you, what Liza and I are. Are animatronic. We are like, who's the guy that does the. That is Gollum and the monkey.

[George Severis]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Taggart]

You know?

[George Severis]

No, of course I know. How am I forgetting his name?

[Sam Taggart]

Andy Serkis.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yes.

[George Severis]

Thank you.

[Sam Taggart]

Basically, Liza and I might as well be Andy Serkis in a full green screen onesie because you have to pretend that we're there in the room with you. You're acting against nothing. You're basically Zoe Saldana in Avatar.

[George Severis]

Yeah, no, you're so right. I mean, what we just did was, like, so hard.

[Sam Taggart]

And by the way, speaking of Zoe Saldana, you know, it's like she's like, oh, I wanted to be challenged, so I did. Emilio Perez. You know what's challenging? Acting underwater with only people wearing full body green screen suits.

[George Severis]

It's very confusing.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm sure. Like, what do you think is challenging?

[George Severis]

Our priorities are all mixed up.

[Lisa Traeger]

People will be like, I played like.

[George Severis]

You know, a downtrodden guy who just lost his job, and it was actually like, really nuanced and difficult. And it's like. Doesn't sound that difficult.

[Sam Taggart]

Doesn't sound that difficult. You know what is difficult? Playing Captain America.

[George Severis]

That's hard.

[Sam Taggart]

Is much more difficult.

[Lisa Traeger]

That's a fake guy that you have.

[George Severis]

To make seem like he's not so fake because.

[Sam Taggart]

And actually, I think that's why it's such a win win to ban all superhero content, because it's actually harder for everyone. I want Chris Evans to have an easier life.

[George Severis]

He.

[Sam Taggart]

He deserves too much. The way that they have to paint Zoe Saldana green from top to bottom in order for her to do those movies.

[George Severis]

What, the Marvel? The Avengers.

[Sam Taggart]

The Avengers?

[Lisa Traeger]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Guardians of the Galaxy is what I was.

[George Severis]

Oh, there you go.

[Sam Taggart]

I know what Marvel is, but I couldn't remember the exact property that she was a part of.

[George Severis]

Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm in a sort of pro Zoe Saldana moment right now. I know that I keep bringing her up and it sort of is not doing much for you, but I just want to say, you know, she actually has been giving a lot for a long time, don't you think?

[George Severis]

I completely agree. I'm in a pro Zoe Saldana moment as well. I feel wrongly accused of not being pro.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know why? It's because we're zooming. So I actually legitimately can't see your face because it's approximately 8ft away from me in the studio.

[George Severis]

Yeah, well, no, I actually do stan her. And in fact, I love her in every film she's Ever been in. And she might be the reason I do watch Emilio Perez.

[Sam Taggart]

You know, here's the thing with Emilio Perez. It's not a good movie, but it's not in the way you think it's gonna be a bad movie.

[Lisa Traeger]

I love this.

[George Severis]

Keep going.

[Sam Taggart]

And also, I think, I think Zoe Saldana and the main actress who plays the titular Emilia Perez are both very good in it. So I'm sort of like, listen, give him the acting awards. Why not? Obviously they don't deserve them. The people that deserve them are both are the lead and the supporting actress in Hard Truths. But of course, America literally hates films that are about humanity and human nature because we are an anti humanist culture. So, sure, give it to Emilia Perez.

[George Severis]

I was pretty surprised, especially challengers not getting anything insane. I was like, what the hell? I'm just lost. This industry, it breaks you down over and over and over.

[Sam Taggart]

It's confusing. But I must say, I think in a previous era of my life, I would have been such a contrarian that I would have been like, hollywood doesn't know anything. This is all bullshit. But I actually think even if I didn't like many of the movies nominated, you have to respect how weird they all are.

[George Severis]

That's true.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm sort of like, okay, well, at least we're not awarding the King's Speech Theory of Everything and Green Book. Like, it's. We're actually sort of casting a wider net. And yes, I didn't love Emilia Perez, but it is ultimately like a crazy operatic musical penis to.

[George Severis]

It's so good.

[Sam Taggart]

And even the brutalist. I'm like, okay, great. So this is like a random four hour epic with an intermission, and it's not even about a real person and it's an original screenplay. Sure, sure.

[George Severis]

I think we should wrap up actually.

[Sam Taggart]

Let's do it. Basically, please welcome Liza Trager.

[Lisa Traeger]

Basically.

[George Severis]

Please welcome Liza Trager.

[Sam Taggart]

Please welcome Liza Trager.

[Guest 1]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

We did it.

[Guest 1]

It is the number one podcast in my heart and the hearts of all your listeners.

[Sam Taggart]

Can I just say, your hair looks incredible. Did you just get a blowout?

[Guest 1]

Thank you. I got a. I've been. This is a three day blowout. Okay, I gotta blow on Wednesday when.

[Sam Taggart]

Are you wearing extensions?

[Guest 1]

No, I have long hair. But Jared Goldstein posted a clip of me doing his podcast and my hair, honestly, that's a straight A lab topic is poorly straightened hair.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Guest 1]

So straight. Like, I looked so bad. I was like, I will never do a podcast without a blowout again. And I canceled Soul Cycle to make sure the blowout stayed. I was like, I'll do extras next week. Like, I cannot look like shit again.

[Sam Taggart]

I also. I would go so far as to say the concept of a blowout is straight. Because I'm going to be honest, I've never fully known what that is. It just means that they blow dry your hair.

[Guest 1]

They style. Yeah, they blow dry and style it. So. Because it is a skill, like, that's the thing. People that are hair stylists, they are good at what they do. And if you're an impatient person or someone that waits till the last minute to get ready, you're just.

[Sam Taggart]

Impatient person. Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Like, I'm not going to be below learning how to blow dry my hair.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, I'm impatient at blow or Dry bar.

[Guest 1]

No, they. Well, Dry bar is amazing because it's the lowest form of salon work. And it's a lot of, like, girls, I think, paying their way through school. It's a lot of, like, immigrants who waiting for a green card. It's a lot of girls that, like. It's not. It's really funny, the attitudes at dry Bar.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's so funny. Because in my mind, as an outsider, be.

[Guest 1]

They fucked up.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. As an outsider, I'm like, dry bar is the soul cycle of hair.

[Lisa Traeger]

To me, it's premiere.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest 1]

No, it went down. They didn't upkeep with everything. And it's also not like you can rip it off. So not. Or you can just go to your own place. It costs more. But, like, you can also just go to a hairstylist and get a blowout.

[Sam Taggart]

That sort of has always been my strategy with hair generally. I'm like, I'm always going to my local barber. I realize I have especially easy hair because I'm just, like, buzzing it.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Lisa Traeger]

You literally just have a buzz cut.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, it is a fade. But I used to. There was a moment in my life where I would go to, like, the fancy, you know, Williamsburg. Slash, like, when I was living in San Francisco, I went to, like, the fancy place that charges, like, $70. And I was like, this is not worth it for me.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. But as a salon receptionist, I loved seeing sexy women charge men $80 for a haircut and then get a $20 tip on top because they're like, just were so hot. And I loved seeing women owning condos at a young age.

[Sam Taggart]

Totally.

[Lisa Traeger]

I think it's just so sad how far we've fallen as a society that you have to look good for a podcast that is.

[Guest 1]

No, this is a nightmare. It's a nightmare. Get these photographers out of my comedy shows and my podcast. But this is, this is the life we live.

[Sam Taggart]

And by the way, I know we do this to people and. But I'm just hired a stylist. Y to do podcasts. You hired Zendaya's stylist, what's his name? La Roach.

[Lisa Traeger]

La Roach.

[Sam Taggart]

This is original La Roach head to toe. And I know we do this to people and I'm so used to it now that I'm. It doesn't occur to me to not like, at least, you know, put on a sweater. And then I'll do a different podcast and I'll show up like right out of the shower with basically my robe and be upset that I'm being filmed.

[Guest 1]

Oh, yeah, it's. It's rough out there in terms of you're just. And the lights, it's all overhead. It's all well lit. You really need to like, be on top of it for a thing that's supposed to be casual. Yeah, but now you need the clips to get in. I. It's not the, the Gen Z's took over our live performance. Like, we're supposed to be dirt bags.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I know.

[Guest 1]

Let us be a dirt bag.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, here's what I'll say. When I was like, younger, I would be. And especially because I came up in Boston, I would be almost somewhat alienated by the slightly older guy. Comedians that would be like, that would be like, you know, stained crew neck sweatshirt, ill fitting jeans, you know, one boat shoe and one Birkenstock on stage. And now the older I get, the more I'm like, that's who I am. That's who I was meant to be. And I was gaslit into thinking I have to like, I don't know, like, look nice or something. It's like I am meant to be Bill Burr.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. I'm like letting you know what's up with society. And now I have to be like, I'm spending $80 blowing out my hair.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. No, it's not right.

[Guest 1]

I'm spending thousands on a stylist. Like, it's really nuts. But it is.

[Lisa Traeger]

Like when people were complaining a few years ago about hot comedy and being like, this is so annoying. Like, look at all these hot people taking Instagrams and calling that comedy. It's like we actually, it's. They were kind of right. Like, it's actually just kept getting harder and harder and you actually have to be hotter and hotter and now you have to be hot while you move as well. You have to be hot while you talk and while you move.

[Sam Taggart]

I just wanted everyone to know. The biggest controversy in the comedy scene in 2019 was that shows had photographers. That was the biggest thing everyone was. They were like, I can't believe I go to a show now and there's a photographer and I have to look nice. Well, cut to now. You are basically filming an Academy Award winning cinematography nominated movie every single time you do stand up at your home.

[Guest 1]

I've seen comedians. I'm not even talking like a little tripod. I'm talking heavy equipment bags. They're putting poles together.

[Sam Taggart]

We met someone in San. Or not met. Our friend who was in San Francisco, told us he shall remain nameless. He flew out someone to film his set.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Because he had something he was like planning on posting. I was like, that's not what I feel.

[Lisa Traeger]

And he's right to do it.

[Sam Taggart]

And guess what? He's literally. He's doing and, and his. And it's good. And that's how people learn about it. What, what I. Am I expecting people to fly to New York to see me at. At the Bell House if they want to know what my standup is?

[Guest 1]

Like, clips are good. It's just like, it is a live medium. Yes, it's a live medium and it's taken away. But the thing is, the hot girl comedy, I was so into it because of feminism, where I was like, they always told us, you can't dress like this. You have to be more masculine. You have to do this. So I liked seeing a little flimsy top. I liked seeing a crop top. I liked that. But now why is it pushed on me? Suddenly I have to. I have to be like a Polly Pocket in the morning. Run around like, I tried on like seven outfits. I'm like, oh, my God. But no, I'm thrilled. I'm grateful to be here. Of course, I should be better because I do want to meet a lover too. And I think I have to put out a better aura.

[Sam Taggart]

What sort of lover are we talking?

[Guest 1]

Like, I want. I want a partner. Let's get married.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. I don't love. I mean, I want something unhealthy.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

I want to be love bombed into being married within a month. But I will be fine with a healthier relationship if forced upon me.

[Sam Taggart]

So what is your ideal courtship?

[Guest 1]

I want someone to come up to me and be like, wow, you're so cool. I'm gonna take you out and I'll be like, okay.

[Sam Taggart]

And they pick you up.

[Guest 1]

I. I can't I don't know, I'm.

[Lisa Traeger]

Like, you kind of want, like, rom com vibes.

[Sam Taggart]

You want rom com vibes?

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I want a little romance. I want a little Travis Taylor. I do.

[Sam Taggart]

Do you want, like, respectable?

[Guest 1]

Do I want to be respected? Absolutely not.

[Sam Taggart]

Do you want, like, respectable Prince Charming or do you want, like, sort of like dirt bag with a heart of gold? Like Tommy Lee?

[Guest 1]

Not Tommy Lee. So what am I? What's Tommy Lee? And what, like, what's.

[Sam Taggart]

And like. And like Prince Charming From. From fully a Disney movie.

[Lisa Traeger]

A cartoon man.

[Sam Taggart]

A cartoon man.

[Guest 1]

Can I say, like, Seth Rogue? I guess I would go more Tommy Lee, but I can't. I need someone.

[Sam Taggart]

Seth Rogen is in the middle.

[Guest 1]

Seth Rogen's in the middle. I want a Seth Rogen.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay. Damn.

[Lisa Traeger]

What's your opinion on dating other comedians?

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I've only been in two actually serious relationships, and one probably wasn't. Was more serious in my head. And they were both comed, so not opposed. But different genders.

[Sam Taggart]

Different genders.

[Guest 1]

That's kind of. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Comedians can be any gender. People don't know that. Interesting.

[Guest 1]

I'm just saying. Yeah, but I got, you know, I got.

[Sam Taggart]

But you want. You're in a long. You want a long term relationship.

[Guest 1]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Guest 1]

I'd be like, if I can get. If you want to dick me down. Well. And leave, I will. I will be okay with that.

[Sam Taggart]

That's totally. Yeah. Okay, well, our DMS are open. We have people of all genders.

[Guest 1]

This is what I've been doing on the podcast. Like, I do have a Netflix special coming out, but also it's been mostly like, my weight.

[Sam Taggart]

And what is the Netflix special called?

[Guest 1]

Night Owl. Ooh.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, here's a question.

[Guest 1]

There was controversy. Did you guys see the movie American Fiction?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I had a moment like that where, you know, so I, as a joke went, let's see if we can get dumb cleared. And then Netflix called and goes, we love dumb. And I was like, I can't call my first hour dumb bitch. But I understand that it's funny. I just, like, I was. I was being silly. But thank you for clearing it, but I'm gonna go with Night Owl. And they go, I couldn't believe.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, dumb bitch would have been. Would have done really well.

[Lisa Traeger]

I mean, unfortunately, it does draw you in.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, it does drive me in. It's just, I talk about my family. It's my first one, and in this climate, I can't call myself a dumb bitch. I can't Be the dumb bitch in this. So, okay, I am like, a smart, amazing woman.

[Sam Taggart]

This is actually. You're pointing to something that I think is really important. I think reclamation of insults is over. Oh, my God.

[Lisa Traeger]

I fully agree.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, I think breaking news, you know, women would, like, reclaim bitch. Gay guys would reclaim the f. Slur, you know, and it's like, I actually think at this point, we are in such a post irony versus earnestness world that you can't risk reclaiming anything because you're immediately on the side of the oppressor.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Lisa Traeger]

I also think it's gotten so, so lazy where, like, someone will be like, you're dressed badly, and then that person will put out a T shirt that says, like, I'm dressed badly. And it's like, no, no, no. You can't reclaim every, like, insult. Like, I have to let it rest.

[Sam Taggart]

Nasty woman unfortunately ruined Reclamation.

[Lisa Traeger]

Nasty woman and, like, bag of horribles deplorables. That's it. That's it.

[Sam Taggart]

I think that nasty women and deplorables became so confusingly coded that it broke people's brains. And now you can't. You can't reclaim dumb.

[Guest 1]

No, that's the thing. Like, if people respected women, I could be like, huh, I'm a dumb bitch. But I can't do that because most society don't think that women are human.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Guest 1]

So that's the thing. I wish I could have fun, but I have no.

[Sam Taggart]

Fun is bad.

[Lisa Traeger]

Fun is bad.

[Sam Taggart]

Illegal. There has been an executive order.

[Guest 1]

We could have fun together, but we can't let the other people have fun on our shit.

[Sam Taggart]

But here's the thing. Because of the ecosystem of our media environment, there's no we and them.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Anything you say is a clip that will then be seen by a right wing incel.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, it's like.

[Sam Taggart]

And then they will be like, she's a dumb bitch.

[Guest 1]

Yes, she's a dumb bitch and she knows it.

[Lisa Traeger]

Sam, what were you saying about this, like, reclaiming insults and stuff? Have you heard about, like, Digital Munchausen?

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Lisa Traeger]

I've been, like, obsessed with this concept where people are creating.

[Sam Taggart]

I know there was that New York mag story where this girl was being cyberbullied and it turns out it was her mother.

[Lisa Traeger]

I read this whole story and that's where I learned about Digital Munchausen. And so people will create, like, bullies for themselves online and bully themselves so they can be like, someone called me a dumb bitch. Now I can be like, post a screenshot and be like, look at what's happening in my DMs. I am a dumb bitch and I'm proud of it.

[Sam Taggart]

Totally.

[Lisa Traeger]

It's this whole cycle.

[Sam Taggart]

I think this is. I'm sorry to bring generations into it, but I actually think it's a very millennial thing to be, like, to fetishize being persecuted online. And it's sort of like, okay, why not cut out the middleman? I'll do the persecution myself immediately. I have a T shirt line.

[Lisa Traeger]

Well, there was that, like, Gia Tolentino article about, like, how. Or essay about how, like, that's literally how you succeed now is if you, like. If you get enough people to hate you, then you can, like, come back from the hate, and then people will support you double. And it just is like a. It's almost like a little engine to keep your name up.

[Sam Taggart]

I think that's literally why we haven't reached. We, Sam and I have not reached the next echelon of success is because we don't have enough haters. And I'm not kidding.

[Guest 1]

No, you both are just, like, so smart and cute. Like, it's tough. So funny. Great games. Yeah. What is there to hate? I mean, I think it's because if your podcast was called Gatio Lab, you'd get the hate, but people might not. People might not get it and think you're straight, and then they like it.

[Sam Taggart]

But I think the fact that we're, quote, unquote, making fun of straight culture, which, by the way, we're not. We're celebrating it. Obviously, if someone. If someone didn't get the ironic bent to it, they could be like, oh, they're doing reverse culture. You know, like heterophobia.

[Guest 1]

Well, no, straight up, Kayla, Nori Reid was on Caleb's podcast, and they said it's cool that our dads are dead because it's one less white man alive. And then it. Right wingers are like, look at this death call.

[Sam Taggart]

It was on Libs of Tick Tock.

[Guest 1]

Oh, I don't know what that is. I. I heard about that, but I didn't. I didn't know what I was just.

[Sam Taggart]

Don't. Don't Google.

[Lisa Traeger]

Don't look into it.

[Sam Taggart]

Don't look into it.

[Guest 1]

I'm not looking into anything anymore. It's all owned. Just give me cute animals. Cute animals, sexy people, Taylor Swift outfits. Like, I don't care.

[Sam Taggart]

You heard it here first, folks.

[Lisa Traeger]

George, should we do our first segment?

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God, I would absolutely love to.

[Guest 1]

Wait.

[Advertiser 4]

Did you know that there's a victim of identity theft every three seconds? It's identity Theft Awareness Week which means it's the perfect time to protect your identity with Lifelock. Lots of places like doctor's offices and retailers can accidentally expose your personal info, leaving you open to identity threats. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second and alerts you to more uses of your personal information. And if you do become a victim of identity theft, LifeLock has professional restoration specialists with the experience and know how to fix identity theft issues guaranteed or your money back. Plus plans include the million dollar protection package with up to $3 million in coverage for the most comprehensive plan. Protect yourself this Identity Theft Awareness Week and every week of the year with LifeLock. Save up to 40% off your first year at lifelock.com iheart that's lifelock.com iheart to save up to 40% terms apply LifeLock for the threats you can't control.

[Advertiser 3]

At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more than a life policy. It's about the promise and the responsibility that comes with being a new parent, being there day and night and building a plan for tomorrow today for the ones you'll always look out for. Trust Amica Life Insurance Amica empathy is our best policy.

[Advertiser 5]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. This new year, make sure you take some time to take care of yourself and your family. Now through January 28th, save up to 25% on all your favorite personal care essentials. Shop in store or online and stock up on all your favorite items like Tresemme Shampoo, Axe Deodorant, Dove Bar Soap, Dove Men's body Wash and Dove Dry Spray. And Save up to 25%. Offer ends January 28th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Advertiser 2]

Stop hitting snooze on new tech Upgrade the whole [e-mail] Unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 carbon powered by Intel Core Ultra processors so you can work, create and boost productivity all on one device. Win the tech search for business [e-mail] Lenovo Lenovo.

[Lisa Traeger]

George introduced it. You're there, you know.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, well as everyone knows, including past guest Liza Trager, our first segment is called Straight Shooters and in this segment we test your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture by asking you a series of completely nonsensical rapid fire questions where you have to choose this thing or this other thing and the one rule is you can't ask any follow up questions about how the game works. Otherwise we will call Netflix and Change the name to dumb bitch in order to spike you. Okay, so let's see. Six inch heels or foot long sub?

[Guest 1]

Foot long sub.

[Lisa Traeger]

Okay. Unprecedented times or underappreciated. Busta Rhymes.

[Guest 1]

I think bust is normally appreciated. Unprecedented times.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Charlie's Angels or New Jersey Devils?

[Guest 1]

New Jersey. I mean, Charlie's Angels. You were tricking me.

[Lisa Traeger]

Tripping on Molly or admitting you got me?

[Guest 1]

Molly.

[Sam Taggart]

Summering in Spain or muttering something profane?

[Guest 1]

Muttering something profane.

[Lisa Traeger]

Loserish behavior or Jesus is my savior.

[Guest 1]

Loserish behavior.

[Sam Taggart]

Lazy Sunday or Busy Phillips?

[Guest 1]

Lazy Sunday.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Lisa Traeger]

Okay. Oscar nominated or Chaucer educated?

[Guest 1]

Oh, I don't even know what that is. Oscars.

[Sam Taggart]

Oscars. Oscars.

[Guest 1]

What's a Chaucer?

[George Severis]

Canterbury Tales?

[Guest 1]

Yeah. No, no, no, no.

[Sam Taggart]

Actually, no. No.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah. No, it's not gonna go ahead and not register with me. I actually. I took this class in college that was like the entire semester was about one, like, alt Chaucer piece. And I was really bad at it and didn't understand. Like, you're reading one book the whole time and like, really, you know, deep diving in. And each day I would be like, go in and pretend I knew what I was talking about and had no idea.

[Sam Taggart]

Chaucer's one of those people where. Not to sound anti intellectual, but I know in my heart I will never actually read his writing. I missed the boat in college. I'm not gonna actually, on my own, be like, what are these tales about? I have to say, it's not gonna happen.

[Lisa Traeger]

Written in like, you know, old English. And he was trying. The teacher was trying to get us to, like, read it out loud in, like, the accurate way and the way that it always ended up sounding Jamaican. Like there was this sentence that I remember because it became a joke in our friend group where it was like, who yaffe me Dr. And so we go. We would just be like, who yaffe me drinky? And I am addicted to it. So if you've ever heard me say, who yaffe me drinky?

[George Severis]

That's what it is.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow. Now there's your T shirt line.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I can't even pronounce that. Was this in English? What? Who's can't? Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Traeger]

It's like old. Old English.

[Sam Taggart]

Old English.

[Guest 1]

No, I forced my school. I was like, I want to be an AP English. And they're like, you really can't. And I was like, I don't care. I want to be in AP English. And so I did. And then I got a C and a D and like, there was no reason I Should have been. I would have.

[Sam Taggart]

Why did you want to be an AP English?

[Guest 1]

Because my friend Veronica, who's a year older than me, said, like, this teacher was the best teacher and changed her life. And I was like, oh, I want the best English teacher. And in my head, I was really good at reading and writing. Like, that's it. But I wasn't. I wasn't at all. And I had no idea what was going on. Everyone, like, everyone now, I think, is working in science. Like, everyone in that classroom. I'm like, you are working at Google. But I wanted it. I wanted to be smarter than I was. That's. And still maybe.

[Lisa Traeger]

Well, there was. I think there was something in high school where there was like, you know how today people will be like, dress for the body you have, not the. Like, don't dress aspirationally for the body you wish you had. And there's something about people in high school. They were like, well, it would even. I remember doing this in college where I would be like, but it would be awesome if I was in ap. Even though I, like, shouldn't be.

[Guest 1]

No, like, I shouldn't be at all, but. Because at one point we got a reading assignment. I didn't even understand the syllabus. I didn't read the intro. I read the years of, like, the author. So I read from like 18 something to 19 something. I was up all night after swim practicing, reading, didn't understand anything. And everyone just read page one through 12. It was like the years of the author's life. And that should have been the first clue of, like, you can't even read the syllabus. You've got to go.

[Sam Taggart]

But, no, but see, I think the Nordic.

[Guest 1]

I just wanted.

[Sam Taggart]

You're a classic artist, though. You had a different. Everyone else read the intro. You read, like, random. Like, that's literally what Picasso did. And that's why you have a Netflix special and they work at Google.

[Guest 1]

Well, then the teacher, the one thing she did was I made a. We had to make mobiles. Mobile.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

For Gatsby. Calder style. Yeah. Oh, for the Great Gatsby.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

What the hell kind of school did you go to?

[Lisa Traeger]

Did she just have, like a baby or something and was like, I need some toys for this damn thing?

[Guest 1]

No, it was like a. So I did, like, this. Cool. And she goes, you've got an eye for it. So I went into advertising because she said, I made this cool, Great Gatsby collage mobile. And then, yeah, like, I loved her. I don't know why schools Are obsessed.

[Sam Taggart]

With making you make, like, dioramas mobile, like just 3D installations.

[Guest 1]

But I loved that. I loved when we could do a sketch, a video. Totally, totally. I loved anything that wasn't actually reading and writing. But I wanted to be someone that.

[Sam Taggart]

Of course, you fetishize, like, the idea of being an intellectual. We all do. That's why we're here at this podcast.

[Guest 1]

This country we just talked about anti. Like.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, yeah, yeah, no, you can't reclaim anything. And you can barely read and write these days.

[Guest 1]

Oh, I. I have a few. Book. Yeah, whatever. It's not interesting, but I can't read. Most people can't anymore. Most of the country can't read.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's really sad.

[Guest 1]

I'll read an article, of course.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, I'll read an article down, start to finish.

[Guest 1]

Do you guys not grade in doves anymore? We really kind of.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God. I know. We didn't grade you in doves. Wow.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, my God. We forgot.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, Sam, what do you think?

[Lisa Traeger]

Well, you know, we have to grade you a little bit harder because you've been here before, so you know how the game works.

[Sam Taggart]

You're sort of the most knowledgeable guest we ever have. You're always calling us out on how we're not following our own rules. When you did the live show, I was shocked. I was like, oh, so. So you know more about this than we do.

[Guest 1]

I'm very into it. But that live show. Yeah, I love the live shows. I'm thinking of your. Another live show that you guys had that I was just in the audience for. And it went.

[Sam Taggart]

It was wild, I'm gonna say. Just to keep you on your toes, how was Toronto?

[Guest 1]

Did you get a hotel room? Room? Because you went during Taylor Swift weekend and you didn't have a room. And I go, excuse, what are you guys gonna do? And you said, I'm not worried at all. So I want to know how. What happened with your lodging for that?

[Sam Taggart]

What did. Oh, you know, I ended up staying in a pretty nice hotel, actually.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah, I mean, we both threw down for it, but.

[Sam Taggart]

We threw down for it. I mean, I will say on record, we maybe. Maybe that was the only show in my entire life where I didn't make money. Like, actually looking at the books. I think I broke even personally. And your entire life out of an out of town show.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, honey. I'm like. I feel like I've definitely done out of town shows where I don't make money.

[Sam Taggart]

I guess in the very beginning, when you're, like, driving Just to do, like, as a professional, I think. Yes. Let's say in the last five years.

[Lisa Traeger]

Sure. Yeah. I don't think we made a single dollar.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I don't. And I think I. I personally. I think Sam did a better job planning than I did. I think I personally might have lost money on that trip, which happens. Listen, we made money in San Franc, so there you go.

[Lisa Traeger]

Well. And the memories will last forever.

[Sam Taggart]

And the memories will last forever. We had such a nice time. It was such a great show, you know, Sold out. Can you believe it?

[Guest 1]

Yeah, like, without it. That's another thing online. Like, I didn't know everyone was selling out until the Internet, too. Like, I was just on the road having a good total. And then that's why my tour now is called Tickets available. Like, that's what it's called. That's the poster. Like, honey, tickets available.

[Sam Taggart]

Dumb bitch.

[Lisa Traeger]

In town, Lisa, we've. We are trying to make this thing happen. Where we are moving on from selling out culture because there is this pressure to sell out. Everyone's posting about selling out, and it's like, no, no, no, no, no. I don't do it for that. I do it to sell 75% of the tickets. And that's perfect.

[Guest 1]

Are you kidding? In Houston, my late shows had under 30 people in a room made for, I would say, two to 300.

[Sam Taggart]

Is that true? Yes, Lisa, that. You know what's funny?

[Guest 1]

I perform for it. Like, sometimes I perform for 15 to 50 people in Giant rooms.

[Sam Taggart]

I consider you to be, like, of my. Certainly of my friends and the people I know well, like, one of the most successful comedians.

[Guest 1]

I'm really respected by my peers, and I've learned that I shouldn't have even thought about that. I should have just gotten straight.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's absolutely true.

[Guest 1]

Like, even at Edinburgh, like, comedians would come see me. They would come multiple times. And I felt so. Like, on. Like, that really made me feel so good about myself. But I needed a grasp on to anything because I was performing for seven people in a trailer.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, no.

[Sam Taggart]

One of the things you.

[Guest 1]

But I loved it. I loved it. I have fun. That's the thing. Like, I get to do this, and I feel great. Grateful. But because you see all these other people selling out, all of a sudden I'm thinking about it. When I have fun for 20, I don't care. I don't care. I do care. I feel bad for these venues that book me being like, she's the hottest act in town. And then closer. They're like, can you please post again? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. They're always. They're shocked, too, that I can't sell tickets.

[Sam Taggart]

But I think this is, like. I think this is one of these big secrets is. I think a lot of people are not selling as many tickets as you think they are. Ooh. Don't you think? Think.

[Lisa Traeger]

I think. I think you're 100% right.

[Guest 1]

When people. I've known, someone that canceled a show because they didn't sell enough tickets, and I was like, if I only perform places I've sold out, I've had. I would have had maybe seven shows in my career. Like, what are you talking about?

[Sam Taggart]

No, all these. I. I once heard someone who I considered like, wow, you know, here I am slumming it, and they figured it out, and they're going viral and they're big on whatever, and they had to cancel a show in, like, they had to cancel an entire east coast leg of their tour.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, yeah. It's really. And that. Yeah, you're either not selling, or then you're a hot shot. Then you're selling. There's no. It's really hard.

[Sam Taggart]

There's no middle class in between.

[Guest 1]

Well, today. So my friend works at Live Nation, and this is her big project, but I'm going to Madison Square Garden today to watch a Dungeons and Dragons podcast.

[Lisa Traeger]

I'm familiar.

[Guest 1]

Oh, you are? Yeah.

[Lisa Traeger]

I never listened to it, but I know what you're talking about. This is like, dropout people.

[Guest 1]

I have no clue. I was like, you know what? I want to see what this is. I want to see who this. What this is.

[Sam Taggart]

You know that, like, David Foster Wallace essay about him.

[Guest 1]

Of course I don't.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, well, there's. It's like a famous essay where he goes. Essay when he goes on a cruise. Okay. So it's like he goes on a cruise. It's called a supposedly fun thing I'll never do again. It's been, like, sort of copied many times. There's been, like, a lot of essays since then about, like, you know, intellectual writers going on cruises and then just, like, gawking at how completely unsophisticated and terrible are these people.

[Lisa Traeger]

Disgusting.

[Sam Taggart]

Normal, whatever. And I think the contemporary version of that would literally be a writer going to a Dungeons and Dungeons and Dragons live podcast recording at Madison Square Garden. That is our current version of, like, depraved cruise culture.

[Guest 1]

No, there must. No, I think there's worse than D and D. I do. I think, like, I guess Kill Tony being at Madison Square Garden. I think is worse.

[Sam Taggart]

Sure, yeah. But there's something about D and like a D and D podcast to go to. At least. Least kill Tony. You're seeing a stand up comedian. You know what I mean?

[Lisa Traeger]

Wow.

[Guest 1]

They're just playing the game. But you're cheering, I guess, and you're cheering for the dice rolls.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. And I don't, I don't know, I know I sound like elitist or something.

[Lisa Traeger]

No.

[Guest 1]

I'm actually being really rude. So I went to. My friend's a professional wrestler. So I went to an AEW event at Arthur Ash, and my friend turned to me, who I brought, and she goes, there's not enough girls here. It smells. She goes, it smells. And I looked and I go, yeah, yeah. Smells like gross guys that like wrestling. So I'm curious that the smells of D and D. Ooh. That's like what I'm trying to compare. If I'm being like fully honest, which is even ruder than what you said, but just said they were dumb and Cruise and I go, I want to know how they compare and smell to white wrestling fans.

[Lisa Traeger]

See this. I think there's something even more nefarious where, like, that is like, I wish that was the D and D that was happening, where it would be like, nerdy losers. But there's something where it's like respectable D and D, where it's like we're doing it like with a comedy twist and we're doing it like we're like, actually smart and we like, do this knowingly and we, we have wives and we're cool. And I'm like, that's almost worse. In a weird way. I preferred it when it was a niche nerdy thing. And now it's like someone it's almost reminding me of in 2010 when everyone was like, yeah, I'm a freaking nerd. I watch Star wars and it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Enough.

[Sam Taggart]

It's such a trap to be in comedy. Talking about the idea of nerd. It's like, there's no one nerdier than people who are into comedy. The idea that I'm making fun of people who dungeon dragons, Are you kidding me? Like, I literally grew up watching like Joan rivers on, on YouTube every night.

[Guest 1]

I was about to say, yeah, Hollywood Squares, it's bad. That's what I was really into.

[Lisa Traeger]

You know, Lisa, I'm realizing you called us out and then we still never gave you a dub score.

[Sam Taggart]

I think we should. I think we. I'm going to give you an intentionally low score to sort of put a fire under your ass and because I want you to do even better next time. And I'm going to say it's 8:70.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, wow, that's a low score.

[Guest 1]

That is. But I thought you were going 87.

[Sam Taggart]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Lisa Traeger]

I thought you were going to just call it eight. Be like eight.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I'm not. I'm a fair teacher.

[Lisa Traeger]

I was like, get her.

[Guest 1]

It's because I chose the sub, but I like it. I like to eat a sandwich. It's my favorite food and I'll never vote against it.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, I would definitely choose sub over 16 heels. That sounds so uncomfortable. Yeah.

[Guest 1]

And Lazy Sunday. That's the best day of the week. I love a lazy Sunday.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's really true. True.

[Guest 1]

Like, I love Freaks and Geeks, but like, honey, you know, she's not. She's not prevailing.

[Lisa Traeger]

Should we get into the topic?

[Sam Taggart]

I would. And actually, we don't know what your topic is, so we're gonna find out live on air.

[Guest 1]

Okay. My straight topic is the paper goods and cleaning products aisle of a grocery store.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Lisa Traeger]

Whoa.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, whoa. To me, please.

[Sam Taggart]

Paper goods and cleaning products. I'm trying. It's usually one.

[Lisa Traeger]

I know exactly the aisle you're speaking of.

[Sam Taggart]

Paper goods meaning like notebooks and stuff.

[Guest 1]

No, meaning like paper towels.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, yes.

[Lisa Traeger]

Toilet paper.

[Guest 1]

Toilet paper toilet scrubs. Like Ziploc bags.

[Sam Taggart]

Like non edible.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Home stuff.

[Lisa Traeger]

That's so interesting.

[Guest 1]

You need it, but it's not really bringing much.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's not.

[Guest 1]

But you can't have society without it. You need people procreating. You need paper towels, but it's not actually good for anything and it's bad for the environment.

[Sam Taggart]

Everything is made of microplastics. Everything is getting thrown out, not recycled.

[Guest 1]

And it's like you're throwing a party. So you're like, grit the paper plates. No thought. No. Like, we just need it easy. Get it in. Get it into the ocean quick.

[Lisa Traeger]

I think there's something where you're like, in the grocery store and you're like, you know, looking at the produce and there's romance and you're like, looking at the meat and being like, what meat do we have? And then you go to that place and you're like, oh, suddenly I'm in a Lowe's. Like, suddenly I'm in a store with, like, very practical items where you're like, it, like, ruins the. Like, I'm a French shopper.

[Sam Taggart]

Y. It's the least glamorous aisle for sure. Because you can find in any other aisle, you could at least find one fancy thing. Even if you're. Let's say, you know, you're looking at the dried pasta, you're going to find one slightly. Yeah, the fresh one. That's like, in little.

[Guest 1]

Or a new flavor of some.

[Sam Taggart]

Or a new flavor of something or a new. You're at the yogurt aisle.

[Guest 1]

O, that looks good, that aisle. You're never like, ooh, let's just walk down it. You're like, oh, yeah, I need this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need it.

[Sam Taggart]

It's very, like, provisions. It's like things you need to survive rather than things that will make your life better.

[Guest 1]

And we need straight people, of course. You know, they're not bringing flair to the game.

[Lisa Traeger]

I think that aisle is also funny because that's so, like. Like, wife and husband going grocery shopping. It's like, husband go get trash bags. Like, there's something, like, so manageable about it. Like, I feel like I'm that role in my relationship, and it's very like, Sam, paper towels. And I'm like, perfect. There's no way to mess this up.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's so true. It's the one aisle. Even if you get the completely wrong thing, even if you get the wrong kind of plate or it's too small or whatever, at least it's still a plate. Like, there's no actual way to mess it up. Whereas if you tell a man, can you get some parsley? He will come back with, you know, a delicata squash.

[Lisa Traeger]

What do you guys think about the, like, the Internet meme thing right now of, like, I love it.

[Guest 1]

I thought I was going to bring it up. I know what you're going to say.

[Lisa Traeger]

The male man, my insta cart shopper, is a man or whatever, and they got me this, and it's, like, completely wrong all the time.

[Guest 1]

This woman had a white monster. She wanted a white monster energy. And the person sent a photo of a red bull and she goes, no, no, no. A white monster energy. And then that was the next photo. And it's like, so it is there? Yeah, it is there. So, like, what is going on? Why I would be livid.

[Lisa Traeger]

It's so confusing. As we all know, gender is back more than ever.

[Guest 1]

So you bring me frozen mozzarella sticks. What? Like, I don't get this.

[Sam Taggart]

There is a way that men. Oh, God, here I go.

[Lisa Traeger]

I know.

[Sam Taggart]

Here we go. With men versus women, which we are promised ourselves we wouldn't do. There's a way that, like, but it.

[Guest 1]

Is men versus women.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's true.

[Guest 1]

When they're just like, you're a man hater. It's like, yeah, the evidence makes me feel like I should hate men.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, yeah.

[Guest 1]

What are you talking about?

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, at the risk of truly sounding so gender essentialist, there's a way in which. Like, there's a way of thinking. Thinking that is where you think in categories. So it's like, okay, something is the shape of a stick and. And it's made of cheese. So therefore string cheese and frozen mozzarella stick are. Are in that category. You can either think in categories or you think in specifics. And I think the, like, it's almost. It's like, let's say the straight thing is to think in categories. So you're asking me, can I get a diet Snapple? And I'm like, here's an apple. It sort of is like, yeah, it rhymes. So it's close. Close enough.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. And then if you get. Well, you should have been more specific.

[Lisa Traeger]

And it's.

[Guest 1]

But there's a photo of it on the app.

[Sam Taggart]

And it's also, like, it's okay for you to use your own. Like, just take a breath and make the step of using your critical thinking skills.

[Guest 1]

But they don't want to. But then it's like, why are you even doing this shot? Because I'm thinking of. The thing is, my Instagram knows what makes me mad. And it's basically like housewives being mistreated. Right. Like, I just, like, I like gender equality.

[Sam Taggart]

Sure.

[Guest 1]

So they'll just show me a bad husband in. It was basically like, hey, will you put the leftovers away? And then when the wife opened the fridge, it was just. He took the pots and pans and put it in. There was like, well, you should have been more specific and said, in the bowl. And then the stitch was like, but you've never seen her do that. Like, you know, she puts it in a bowl. So why wouldn't you just grab a bowl? And it's like, because he doesn't want to ever do anything for anyone ever again. And that's how I solve the problem. I am bi. I, you know, I'm out there, but I don't do dishes. I don't have cutler. I do not cook. And I have paper plates.

[Sam Taggart]

Paper plates in your home, day to.

[Guest 1]

Day and bowls and plastic. Yeah.

[Lisa Traeger]

Lisa, so. So how is it.

[Sam Taggart]

Hold on.

[Lisa Traeger]

So you're the problem.

[Sam Taggart]

You're solving the problem by. By not ever explained.

[Guest 1]

I'm. I will. I don't want. I'm like a man at times.

[Sam Taggart]

You're a man.

[Guest 1]

I'm a bad dad. I'm like, I'm. Well, John Goodman's so good. But I'm like, I. That's the thing. Like, I hate men and what they do to the women in their lives, but I am the man in anywhere.

[Lisa Traeger]

You're like, you can't be lazy at me. I be lazy at you first.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. Like, I. But I don't want to put. But I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm not asking anyone to do it. I know that. I don't want to do dishes. I will throw things away. I don't want it. That's not the life I'm living. Yeah, my parents didn't move here so I could, like, do a dish. And so I would rather. But I also don't go out to either. I'll eat an uncrustable. So sometimes. Usually I try not to use anything.

[Sam Taggart]

I see. I see.

[Guest 1]

But if I. But so I.

[Sam Taggart]

Eating on top of the sink, sort of hovering on top of hovering by the sink. Sink. Eating an uncrustable, saying, this is my American dream. Thank you to my mom and dad.

[Lisa Traeger]

I will never, ever wash a dish.

[Guest 1]

I feel like I don't even make sense anymore because I'm doing this. But, yeah, I just have paper and plastic.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Traeger]

I.

[Guest 1]

So then I'm done, and I put it. It's gone, and that's it.

[Lisa Traeger]

I mean, but I'm also living in.

[Guest 1]

A small space where my living room is my kitchen, and I don't want to do dishes. It's just, like, not the way I want to live.

[Sam Taggart]

So going back to the Seth Rogen type that you're looking for is the dream that the partner would, like, incorporate into your lifestyle or elevate it and be, like, riding it on a horse with porcelain plates. And finally you get to have the plates, and then he or she also does them.

[Guest 1]

I would be fine with either because it's not fair to put that all on a person. But, yeah, of course I'd like someone that has the plates.

[Lisa Traeger]

You know, I'm worried, like, some of those plates.

[Guest 1]

Cause I go to Fish and Eddie's. I like looking at them. I just can't have them in the home.

[Sam Taggart]

I once saw Gigi Hadid at Fishnetti.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, Lisa. I'm wondering, though, if there's a. There's sort of a chicken or the egg thing happening here where, like, I can't tell if, like, you like finding the perfect partner will then elevate you to having plates in your home. Or if you having plates in your home will elevate you to finding the perfect partner. Like, no, that's true.

[Guest 1]

It's a quote I talk about a lot. Like, be the. Be the list. Be, like, who you're looking for. But I don't want to ever want. If I find someone that really cares about cleanliness, I think how I will def. Defer, initiate between, like, the men I watch on Instagram. I'm going to be grateful. I'm going to be excited. I'm going to be like, wow, you're so good. I'm going to brag about how they clean. I'm going to be like, I can't. I don't know what I would do without this person.

[Sam Taggart]

Rather than, like, nagging them and being like, let me play my video games.

[Guest 1]

No. I would be, like, sweeping. Yeah. Believe it. Thank you. But also, if that person gets annoyed, I pay someone to come clean.

[Sam Taggart]

Sure.

[Guest 1]

So I'm fine to, like, contribute more or I'll pay for all the cleaning products or, like, I don't want to take advantage of a person. But I also know, like, maybe I'll change and grow. And that's a maturity. I'm back on Wellbutrin. Like, who knows? But I don't. I don't want to. I want to be, like, friendly boy. It's like, no, I don't know who I am, but she's single, and I don't want that.

[Sam Taggart]

But it's very.

[Guest 1]

Do I get the dishes first?

[Sam Taggart]

Well, this is. Here's the thing. You're pointing to a sort of. This is a. There is a type of New Yorker that lives exactly how you live, and often that's actually very glamorous.

[Lisa Traeger]

Carrie Bradshaw.

[Sam Taggart]

It's Carrie Bradshaw. Yes. It's using your oven for storing your cashmere sweaters. Cause you would never. Cause your closet is overflowing and you would never cook. But it's so tough to find that line where something like that can be either the most glamorous or, like, the most sad, depending on how you sell it to the world. You know what I mean?

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I like it. But I recently went out to eat with friends, and I did order buttered noodles, and everyone was really, like, not happy with me.

[Lisa Traeger]

But wait, explain why they were upset with you. Because you were, like, bringing down the classy level.

[Guest 1]

They're just like, what are you doing? You can make that. Like, you can make a buttered noodle. What are you doing? And I was like, but I don't want to make it. I want to go to my bodet. I want to just, like, be on my blog. Yeah, give me a bagel with butter. I don't know. I don't want to do it. But if I had a lover that cooked for me, I mean, I would be, like, on my knees nightly. Like, I wouldn't. Sure, yeah, I'd be on it. I do sexual favors for food, for sure. And clean. And clean.

[Sam Taggart]

Wait. Okay. I want to go back to the paper goods and home goods, because I.

[Guest 1]

Also think with that, it's like, cookouts. Potlucks to me are very straight, too. That is involved in, like, plastic and paper.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Well, the thing with cookouts, barbecues, things of that nature is tivas. Tivas. You are able to. The reason men get so absolutely excited about it is because they're like, oh, finally we can just do grilling meat without having to worry about, like, having a little ring around the cloth.

[Guest 1]

Oh, you're gonna love this. So I had. This is another, like, Instagram feeds me couples that aren't, you know, equal. And so it was this woman, like, kept being annoyed that she had to get all the stuff together for her husband's parties, so he wanted to have one. And she's like, no, I'm tired. Like, I'm not going to do it. He's like, I'll do it on my own. And he went. And all he bought was me. Like, he didn't. He didn't even. He didn't get it. And then he was screaming at her that there was nothing else or chips or condiments. But it was like, yeah, you got. You still got to grab the paper. It was wild. He just. They just brought the meat. What was that side? Did I ruin the box?

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's not. No.

[Lisa Traeger]

I mean, you know.

[Sam Taggart]

You know what the sigh was? The sigh was like, I'm truly like. Because we all know people who act this way and are not able to use, like, simple logic to follow directions. And I really am like, what more is there left to do at this stage? Everyone has tried so hard. Their wives, their daughters, their mothers, and still they are not able to go to a grocery store. They don't want to and buy parsley.

[Guest 1]

Because my thing is, like. Because they already think they're better than us, and everything that we do is stupid. Right? Because another thing straight from Instagram, I truly don't have any original thoughts, but it's like, how come you know how to behave at work?

[Sam Taggart]

Yes. No, that you're so right.

[Guest 1]

So you know how to behave at work and be a high powered attorney or executive and play g, you know, tennis with your friends. And you're not, you're not losing it at work. You're not scream, you're not hitting your co worker, but you're going home and not able to behave all of a sudden and can't fold a sheet. Then you're not the better sex. Stop being in charge of government. Government.

[Sam Taggart]

There's. Yes, there is a. There's a sort of mentality that says the professional sphere is real. Like that's where you step up. And the domestic sphere is when you shut down. It's almost like it would be gay to try hard in the domestic sphere. Whether that's cleaning, whether that's, you know, clipping your toenails. A part of your body not visible at work, but visible at home. Whether that is like helping out, whether that is making the bed. Bed. It's just sort of like that doesn't count because I'm not getting a promotion based on making the bed.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, it's like it's anti capitalist to like make your bed.

[Sam Taggart]

Totally. Yes, it's lit. Yes. It's literally like, well, that's not part of the economy, so it doesn't count.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah, Every home should have its own currency. And that way you can win points for making your bed, give or take.

[Guest 1]

Because you know what? My partner might be cleaning and cooking, but when it's time for the hot holidays, you know who I'm gonna buy gifts for their whole family.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Guest 1]

I'm gonna make the most thoughtful little gifts. I'm gonna come in with a host gift. I'm gonna like, you know, chill with your parents and chat with them and play backgammon with your dad. Like, I'm bringing other things. I just not reading or cleaning or.

[Sam Taggart]

I. Sam, what you're saying.

[Guest 1]

I hate showering.

[Sam Taggart]

What you're saying, Sam, like the idea of a currency is. So I feel like getting your husband like a ticket for a blowjob for Christmas.

[Guest 1]

Literally one of your best episodes. Sorry. Weaponizing oral sex.

[Sam Taggart]

Weaponizing oral sex. Well, because I do think that is like the, the Obviously there are many issues with a woman giving a man a ticket for a blowjob. Whatever. But one of them.

[Guest 1]

I have multiple friends that give blowjobs for their husbands to do things for them around the house.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, but I think it points to Sam's point about like, so the way into his heart is through being like, let's play like, this is work. So this would be like, if your boss gave you a bonus, but it's a blowjob.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

So now do you see why this is sort of real? It's transactional, babe.

[Guest 1]

It's even the view of it. Cause it's like, it's not even transactional. And you're doing something for me. It's like you're doing something for yourself. And it's seen for me. Because your home life is my responsibility.

[Sam Taggart]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Guest 1]

So it's like, come on. I mean, I did my laundry, and it's like, that's what. Yeah, I don't know. But this is all, you know, Esther Perell or someone. Like, no relationships ever. 50 50, right? Like, you. You both are in relationships. Tell me how it works.

[Lisa Traeger]

Mine is not 5050 at all. Misha does all the cooking, but that's because he cares a lot about the food. Like, I. I don't. Like, when I cook, he'll be like, well, that you have to add this. And I'm like, well, like. Like, I'm cooking, it's going to taste a little bit worse. And like. Yeah. So it's just like, yeah, you cook. You care way more about it. But I try to, like, help clean up more. Like, it's like, if you cook, I'll do the dishes. But it's still not equal.

[Guest 1]

But that also comes from respect. It doesn't have to be equal. It's. But it's respect. Expect it's seeing, like, oh, my God, this person is cooking for me. They're so good at it. I'm gonna help out in this way. Or, like, I'm gonna be so grateful. I think a lot with hetero. It's. It's expected. It's. They're entitled to it. And if it's not there, you're doing something like, not woman.

[Advertiser 1]

Like.

[Guest 1]

And that's where the resentment and all that comes from, where it's expected. It's not even, like, this nice, beautiful thing that you have in your relationship. It's. There better be food here or what are you bringing to the table?

[Sam Taggart]

That's the thing. We've talked about this. It's definitely entitlement. But it's also. There is something. No matter how progressive you are or how hard you try to have a 50, 50 relationship, there is something limiting in a straight relationship because you are always consciously or not referring back to existing norms. So you're either following norms or breaking norms. So there's all this pressure to either be the perfect 50s couple or be the perfect progressive 2000s Brooklyn couple. And so everything you do, you're like, okay, where do I fit in? Today I was more equal. Today I was more problematic. Today I was. My husband was more feminist. Whereas if you're gay, because there are fewer existing, there's fewer generations of what it should be like to be a gay couple. You're liberated to do whatever you want, ideally. Does that make sense?

[Lisa Traeger]

That makes sense. I also think there's so many things that I do that are like, like straight guy coded, that like. But they don't have the same trauma attached.

[Sam Taggart]

Exactly. That's exactly what I mean. Yes.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah. Because, like, I. So for example, that the guy in the grocery store, that is so me. I am like so fucking stupid in a grocery store. It's. It's insane. Like, a famous tale of me when I was like a teenager was. My mom was like, will you go get like 12, like, or go get like five lemons? And I, like, walked away. And then like 10 minutes later, I come back with nothing in my hands and I'm like, what was I supposed to get? And like. And that has stayed the way that I am forever. It's just like, I, like, I either have to like, write it down and be like, militant or like, I will just like, I'm too spacey. And. But because we are gay, it's like, well, it's, you know, he's a creative. It's not like, oh, he's a man. It's like, he's a man.

[Sam Taggart]

No one's ever said. Exactly, exactly. No one's ever saying, classic man, that you weren't able to get the five lemons. And so then what that does is it enables you to have an actual individual personality. It's not that's a man. It's. That's Sam. Like, that is classic Sam that he didn't get the 5 11. It's not like that is classic man. He should be put in prison. I'm a nasty woman.

[Guest 1]

Yes. Cause you're already outside the norm.

[Sam Taggart]

Exactly.

[Guest 1]

So you can just. Just be.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, and that's, I think, like.

[Guest 1]

But then I also, I. I know lesbian couples that though, fall right into such gender mask. Fem. Norm.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, lesbian couples love mask and femme.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah, they really, really do.

[Sam Taggart]

Couples love mask and femme.

[Lisa Traeger]

We actually need to talk to a lesbian about that. That is crazy.

[Sam Taggart]

We. I think we need to have a summit where we have like a true round table of lesbians. Because I really need to know more about. About the inherited traditions and traumas of mask and femme. Because sometimes when you hear. And you know we have a lot of lesbian friends on this podcast, sometimes when you hear discussions of mask and femme, you're almost like, this is as ingrained as men and women is in the straight world.

[Lisa Traeger]

You created gender within gender.

[Sam Taggart]

You created gender within this, like, utopian lesbian separatist society that you live in.

[Lisa Traeger]

Gay guys try to do it with top and bottom, but it's so. It's. And also it doesn't work.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, it doesn't work at all.

[Lisa Traeger]

Not taking off in any way. It's a myth.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I. There's actually something. The idea of top and bottom has been completely decontextualized from its actual meaning.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, it's mostly just for games. For drag.

[Sam Taggart]

Exactly. Yes. It's like, like when someone says they're literally no part of me is like, so you're penetrating. No, that's literally not what it's about.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Interesting.

[Guest 1]

But. Yeah, even. But even with the dudes, like, what's so hard with dudes seem normal. Right. They're like, saying the right thing sometimes. Yeah. Like they're, they're. They're cleaning. You're like, oh, this is good. And then all of a sudden I'll be like, well, you know, I don't think women should have credit cards. You know, like, there's always a hidden thing because of how we're all raised, where no matter how good and great, there's just this thing where you look and you go, what the fuck did you just say?

[Sam Taggart]

But to turn that around, I would say that is also the case with women where they seem normal. And then suddenly they'll say like, well, the man should make more money.

[Lisa Traeger]

100% it is.

[Sam Taggart]

And that happen.

[Guest 1]

But that only happens because men go crazy. Like, that's the whole thing. It's like if men acted normal with women making tons of money, I think it'd be. It's kind of when people are like, the gay teens are taking their own lives. And it's like, I think it's the bullying, not the gay.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

So that's how I feel with the women making more money. They would love it, but it's like as soon as you get promoted or women make more money in a within a straight relationship, the studies show it's like divorce goes up. Like, all these different things happen. It's like, if men could just handle it, it would be fine, but it's still valuing. It's like the pick me of it all. Because it's like I'D rather make less money and have a man then be on my corporate, you know, ladder baddie.

[Sam Taggart]

Totally. Lisa, any final thoughts on the aisle at the supermarket that has paper goods and home.

[Guest 1]

And you can have. You could have some fun flair, like my Ziploc bags are Arthur the Aardvark. Like there is deviations.

[Sam Taggart]

Of course, my mind went, this is different because it's not in that aisle, but my mind when to fun Band aids. One of my favorite things to purchase. Like to have Band aids with spongebob on them. I mean, I'm on cloud nine.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. They're just all so little.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, they're tiny.

[Guest 1]

They're for the little babies. No, I think it's just like, you need it. It's there. It's there for you. Clean your toilet, get some bleach, but, you know, you want to unpleasant village a little.

[Lisa Traeger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest 1]

Get a thicker one. At least get it.

[Sam Taggart]

You know, I would like. Here's what I think. Let's get the Queer Eye team, the Fab Five, to redesign that aisle of the supermarket. That would be a fun. I think that would be a very fun project for them. No one would get hurt. Unlike the current status of that show where I believe they end up, like, psychologically torturing everyone they try to help.

[Guest 1]

It would be, you know what? The Swiffer wet jet is holding down the gay community.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's true.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. Swiffer, she is squirting.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes. No, Swiffer is very queer, I think.

[Guest 1]

Yes. All around.

[Sam Taggart]

Swiffer, like mop and bucket is so traditional. It's so 50s. And then the Swiffer came along and.

[Guest 1]

Was like, skinny, skinny, Quick, wipe it down fast. I love it.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, should we do our final segment?

[Lisa Traeger]

Let's do our final segment.

[Advertiser 3]

At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more than a life policy. It's about the promise and the responsibility. Responsibility that comes with being a new parent, being there day and night and building a plan for tomorrow today for the ones you'll always look out for. Trust Amica life insurance. Amica empathy is our best policy.

[Advertiser 5]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. This new year, make sure you take some time to take care of yourself and your family. Now through January 28th, save up to 25% on all your favorite personal care essentials. Shop in store or online and stock up on all your favorite items like Tresemme shampoo, Axe Deodorant, Dove bar Soap, Dove Men's Body Wash, and Dove Dry Spray. And Save up to 25%. Offer ends January 28th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Advertiser 2]

Stop hitting Snooze on new tech Upgrade the whole [e-mail] Unlock AI Experience Experiences with the ThinkPad X1 Carbon powered by Intel Core Ultra processors so you can work, create and boost productivity all on one device. Win the tech search for business [e-mail] Lenovo Lenovo.

[Advertiser 6]

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have supervision, enhanced hearing, Extraordinary reflex to be, dare we say, superhuman? Well, Roku's new Pro Series TV can't do any of that for you, but with a 4K screen, side firing speakers and a blazing fast refresh rate, it'll sure feel like it. Elevate your entertainment using all your favorite apps like iHeart and Play all your music, radio and podcasts. With the new Roku Pro series, your senses aren't better. Your TV is.

[Guest 1]

Thank you for having me, by the way. It's always a dream.

[Lisa Traeger]

Of course, Liza Our final segment is called Shout Outs and in this segment we pay homage to the grand straight tradition of the radio Shout out and shout out anything that we are enjoying. People, places, things, ideas. So imagine it's 2001. You're at TRL shouting out to your squad back home about anything that you like. Do you have one? George?

[Sam Taggart]

You know I don't.

[Lisa Traeger]

Okay, I have one that I don't think I've done before. What is up freaks, losers and perverts around the globe? I want to give a huge shout out and I hope I haven't done this before to straws. I have started making straws a priority again in my life. I am in the coffee shop, they give me the thing where there's just the hole and you're supposed to sip on it and I say, do you have a straw? And guess what? I love it. Because when that ice is coming out your face, it makes the drinking experience less fun and you need a straw to get through the bullshit, AKA the ice so you can get a clean sip of your coffee. I find straws to be so fun, so practical, and I don't know what is up with their impact on the environment, but I refuse to look into it. One time I got a straw that was literally just a noodle and they were like, it's a pasta straw. And I was like, I don't think you're actually supposed to use just a piece of pasta, but I thought this is pretty quirky and I will think about this straw forever. I Love straws. And I love sea turtles. And I hope they are supporting each other and linking up diva wise. Xoxo, Sam.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Guest 1]

Yes, I'm with you. I'm straws all the way. And that stuff about the turtles is not real. That was that. I feel that was pushed by the paper agenda.

[Lisa Traeger]

You think that was propaganda?

[Guest 1]

What? One's not better than the other and we still use plastic. Like, it just felt too weird. Like it felt like a business deal with billionaires that I can't. Like they. They were at a summit and we're like, oh, yeah, let's push this.

[Sam Taggart]

I think two things can be true. I obviously, I think they both are bad and were chosen almost at random as the one thing we're meant to think is bad. And I think everyone can agree on that. I do think they are bad. Sure. It's like I can decide. You can decide what the hot bad thing is at any given time. You can decide it's microplastics. You can decide it's straws. You can decide it's fast fashion. All of those are bad.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Lisa Traeger]

Period.

[Guest 1]

I'm doing all of them. I'm filled with plastics.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, it's plastics. Up the water zoo. Okay, I can. I can go. Let me see, let me see.

[Guest 1]

I'm with you. My bestie, she has straw, like bags of. I love having drinks at her house with straws.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, it's so luxurious.

[Guest 1]

Yeah. I be a drunk or faster and you're right. The ice coming at me, it's. I don't love it.

[Lisa Traeger]

I hate the ice.

[Guest 1]

Damn, that was a good one.

[Lisa Traeger]

Thank you. I thought about it today because I got a coffee and a little straw.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, let's see. Oh, I have a good one. Okay. All right. What's up, cinephiles around the world? I want to give a shout out to movies having intermissions. I just saw the Brutalist and a lot has been said about how the Brutalist. Have you seen it, Liza?

[Guest 1]

No.

[Sam Taggart]

So it has built into the film an intermission. So in the middle of it you get a blank screen and then it counts down 15 minutes. And people have been like, oh, what a, like dick swinging move from the director. Blah, blah, blah, like he thinks he's hot shit. Guess what? I got a diet Coke. I went to the bathroom, I came back, I was ready for the second half. I reset my engagement meter. I was ready to pay attention again. The second half. A lot of people are saying the second half is bad. I actually thought it was sort of fabulous. And how Crazy it got. And I ultimately enjoyed the film a lot. Shout out to Adrien Brody. I'm so happy he's getting a second Oscar. But I want to say if you're doing a long movie, which I support, if you're doing a three and a half hour movie, sure, put in an intermission. It is a win, win for everyone. It's a win for the movie theater because I'm gonna go get my Diet Coke. It is a win for me because I get to like reset my attention. It's a win for the filmmaker. More people are gonna go see their movies. And it's a win for society because we are going in a more sort of Euro chic direction. You're suddenly at the opera. You're in, you know, you're in Italy. You are going out and getting a, you know, an aperol spritz in the middle of it. Afterwards you're gonna go have some spaghetti. You're gonna have a steak free. And so it's truly a no brainer to me. I don't understand why it doesn't happen more. Hell, put it, put an intermission in a 90 minute rom com for all I care. Like it doesn't have to be a big movie. So I just want to shout out to intermissions. I want to see more of them and I want to see them now.

[Lisa Traeger]

I love that.

[Guest 1]

Killing it because I have peeing. I'm always scared. I gotta pee. How do I plan?

[Sam Taggart]

I'm.

[Guest 1]

I'm taking such little sips so I don't have to pee. I would love a break.

[Sam Taggart]

I just want to say as a Regal member, a proud Regal member.

[Guest 1]

Hot dog.

[Sam Taggart]

In Regal you go. You get a small Diet Pepsi. Because of course, the one flaw, Pepsi, not Coke. At the Regal branded establishments, their small size is truly as big as a bathtub. And I can't control myself. If you're gonna give me a bathtub sized drink, I'm gonna have it all. So what happens is I have it all within the first 20 minutes and then I'm pretty much peeing my pants for the last three hours.

[Lisa Traeger]

I did permanent damage to myself during Anatomy of a Fall trying to hold my pee. That was crazy. And I'm. I'm very grateful for intermissions.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, that's good. Maybe I'll see the Brutalist. Jk, I want to see baby girl. Wait.

[Sam Taggart]

I feel like you would like the Brutalist.

[Guest 1]

You think so? Well, I'm scared.

[Lisa Traeger]

Talk about f meet. Meet a man at the Brutalist.

[Guest 1]

Okay. Do I dress slutty and go to the Brutalist.

[Lisa Traeger]

Literally.

[Guest 1]

I would love it.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, I want to know what you think of baby girl too. Okay, well, I saw a photo of.

[Guest 1]

Nicole Kim and crawling and I went.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, you haven't seen nothing yet.

[Guest 1]

Okay. What up, sweetheart? Sexy ladies and everyone in between.

[Lisa Traeger]

So thank you for being inclusive.

[Guest 1]

All right, so my shout out right now. I started True Blood yesterday. I'm about four episodes in. No one told me it was softcore porn. I've never been hornier in my life. It's sex. It's non stop rough, cool sex. So thank you. And I'm glad to be horned up by a show. Thanks. So that's.

[Sam Taggart]

That's basically it. No, True Blood is the horniest show.

[Guest 1]

Didn't know. I thought it was like Twilight vampires. I didn't care. I put it on and I was like, oh, my God. She's like hanging from a hook, getting from behind. I'm like, oh, I could get behind this show.

[Lisa Traeger]

Wow.

[Sam Taggart]

I know. I sort of think Twilight a lot of the more like ya vampire stuff hurt True Blood because people think that's what it is because they put it in the same category as Twilight. Okay. You do have a heart out. We love you. Please tell everyone again, once again, what your special is called, where they can find it and when it comes out.

[Guest 1]

And I am fun and funny. I just obviously serious when it becomes to sex. You know, I go on to promote the special and then I end up talking about unequal, you know, inequality, and I don't like it.

[Sam Taggart]

You are one of the most beloved standup comedians.

[Guest 1]

It's very nice of you.

[Lisa Traeger]

I love.

[Guest 1]

I love doing comedy and I love being able to hang out with you guys and Netflix Night Owl Tuesday, January 28 I really want to be in the top 10. I know it's desperate to, you know, like, vote for me, Vote for me, Dancing with the Stars. But, like, I want to be in the top 10.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, just press play. Guess what? Even if you're not a comedy fan, press play, leave the room. It's still going to count.

[Guest 1]

It's just me. So I could be on. Watch what happens live. Yes.

[Lisa Traeger]

Oh, I think it's in the cards. I think it's really in the cards for you.

[Guest 1]

I think I got to be in a top 10 to do it. I think that's. I do.

[Sam Taggart]

All right, let's get. Let's get Mulaney out of there. And we're talking Lisa Traeger.

[Guest 1]

I would. I would love if Mulaney was in the top 10. We're talking like, not alt Nazi comedy. Like yeah, the AI Christmas. Whatever. I. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I should go.

[Lisa Traeger]

No, it's okay. Well, this has been a real delight. Thank you so much for doing the pod.

[Guest 1]

You guys are amazing. Amazing.

[Sam Taggart]

Bye.

[Lisa Traeger]

Bye. Podcast ends now.

[Sam Taggart]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.

[Lisa Traeger]

Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[Sam Taggart]

Now get back to work.

[Lisa Traeger]

Stradiolab is a Production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

[Sam Taggart]

Created and hosted by George Severis and.

[Lisa Traeger]

Sam Taggart executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wa Edited and engineered by Adam.

[Sam Taggart]

Avalos Artwork by Michael Fales and Matt.

[Lisa Traeger]

Grubb Theme music by Ben Kling.

[Advertiser 4]

Did you know that there's a victim of identity theft? Every three seconds, it's Identity Theft Awareness Week, which means it's the perfect time to protect your identity with Lifelock. Lots of places like doctors offices and retail retailers can accidentally expose your personal info, leaving you open to identity threats. That's why Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second and alerts you to more uses of your personal information. And if you do become a victim of identity theft, LifeLock has professional restoration specialists with the experience and know how to fix identity theft issues, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, plans include the Million Dollar Protection Package with up to $3 million in coverage for the most comprehensive plan. Protect yourself this Identity Theft Awareness Week and every week of the year with Lifelock. Save up to 40% off your first year at lifelock.com iheart that's lifelock.com iheart to save up to 40% terms apply LifeLock for the threats you can't control.

[Advertiser 5]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Save this New Year. Make sure you take some time to take care of yourself and your family now through January 28th. Save up to 25% on all your favorite personal care essentials. Shop in store or online and stock up on all your favorite items like Tresemme Shampoo, Axe Deodorant, Dove Bar Soap, Dove Men's Body Wash and Dove Dry Spray. And Save up to 25%. Offer ends January 28th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Advertiser 6]

What are you looking for in a new smart TV 4K picture quality, high quality and immersive sound, a sleek design. All of those are givens but only the new Roku Pro series has all of those and the Roku Streaming experience an award winning os. Get fast easy access to all your apps like Iheart where you can stream all your favorite music, radio and podcasts all day and regular all inclusive trips to Roku City. The new Roku Pro series a smart TV built by the streaming pros.

[Lisa Traeger]

The Unshakables podcast is kicking off season.

[Advertiser 5]

Two with an episode you won't want to miss. Join host Ben Walter, CEO of Chase for Business as he welcomes a very special guest, Chairman and CEO of JP.

[Sam Taggart]

Morgan Chase Jamie Dimon.

[Advertiser 5]

Hear about the challenges facing small businesses and some of the oh moments Jamie has overcome. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Chase Mobile app is available for select mobile devices.

[Lisa Traeger]

Message and data rates may apply JP.

[Sam Taggart]

Morgan Chase Bank NA Member FDIC Copyright.

[Advertiser 5]

2025 JP Morgan Chase & Company.